WHAT WOULD SAM DO? | Advice Column

0:14Sam Wood:Hello, everybody. Welcome back to another episode of My Sister's Diary. I hope everybody is having a fantastic last week of August. I know the 31st is technically on a Sunday, so I guess that's the last week, but this is the last full week of August. which is crazy. I can't believe it's already September. Once it gets to September, I'm like, the year's over. I know people are like, that's just the best part. But like, it all goes so fast. The end of the year, like September, October, November, December, those months go by so fast because there's so much going on. We have a lot to look forward to.

0:46I finished with my kids. I told you guys this, I think at the beginning of the summer, at least I think I did. I can't remember now that I'm actually saying it. We made a summer bucket list and I have a Polaroid camera that we

0:58Sam Wood:took pictures of for like all the things on our list. And I have like this big craft paper that we made it on and my kids helped like draw pictures of the things that they wanted to do. And then we just put the Polaroid on the big craft paper and hung it up throughout the summer. And we finally finished it this week. And I'm kind of sad that it's done because it was so much fun and it's so cute. I bought this little book. It's I think it's from Polaroid. Actually, it's Polaroid brand, which I guess I'm bougie. Anyway, I bought this little book and I put all the Polaroids into the book and it'll be fun.

1:36So much fun to look back on. Like I took pictures of my kids at the beginning of the summer and then I took one at the end of the summer. So I think that'll just be fun. It'll be fun to have for a long time. I think I want to do it every summer. I'm not going to commit to that though. I'm not going to commit, but I really think that I want to do that. My kids had so much fun with it, really. Well, especially my oldest. But next year, my little girl, she'll be a little bit older. So I think she'll be able to, you know, enjoy it a little bit more. Okay, next thing on my list is I finally watched the Aeros tour, like Taylor Swift, the Aeros tour on Disney.

2:08I didn't like sit down and watch the whole thing. I will admit and if you're a diehard swifty don't don't come at me but I skipped past some of the songs that I didn't know that well I know people like just give it a chance and I'm like I did I listened to at least like the first couple seconds of every single one but some of them it's a really long long movie so I definitely skipped past a little bit of it but I was like mesmerized honestly with some parts of it I listened to the all too well it's the 10 minute version I listened to that probably four times like I rebounded it and replayed it because it's so good I I hate to be like the basic Swifty I guess I don't I don't identify necessarily as a Swifty but like I do like Taylor Swift I'm not a hater but I I know that's like basic to like all too well but I it's just a good song it's a great great song and I think the live performance of it was really good so okay next thing next thing on my list I promise I will stop complaining about this eventually, but today's not that day.

3:13So I had contact dermatitis on my fingers, you know, and I accidentally got some of the polish on my thigh and I had a rash there. I thought it was like sun rash, but no, it was contact dermatitis. And then it went away completely and it just like flared back up after I got stung by the wasp. I know maybe that's just total coincidence, but it flared back up and it's really annoying because I like, it's still hot outside and I like to wear shorts, but I have like this big, ugly, I don't know, I'll post a picture event to show you guys. But anyway, I just wanted to tell you about that because why wouldn't I?

3:43Oh, last one. Sorry, I'm trying to go through these fast because I have a lot of submissions to go through this week. So this last thing is I, this is really important. I need you guys to listen. I made a TikTok where I took a picture of my watch band, like my Fitbit watch band, and it's cloth, not cloth. It's like, I don't know, it's not metal or plastic. It's cloth, I guess. And there, it got wet. So there was like a dry spot on it. And the dry spot looked exactly, bear with me, it looked exactly like Robin Williams when he plays Teddy Roosevelt in the Night of the Museum. And you guys might think I'm crazy.

4:20You're like, this is the stupidest thing you could ever talk about. But it is uncanny. I'm not kidding. It's crazy. And every time I see it on my camera roll, when I'm looking at pictures, I'm like, oh my gosh, there it is again. And it it shocks me every time. I'm like, it literally looks like someone photoshopped it on there. I will post a reel of it because it's so, it's so crazy. And so many people on TikTok agreed with me. They're like, you know what? I see it. You have to look at it for a little bit. You know, some people, some people see it right away. Some people have to look at it for a second.

4:49I will post that because I want to know what you guys think. If you think it looks like him or if you think I'm absolutely cuckoo crazy in the brain. Okay, let's move on to the topic for the week. I should have introduced that at the beginning of the episode. I did not.

5:03Sam Wood:The topic is what would Sam do? And I wanted to do this because I find myself giving advice on what I would do whenever I have a listener submission episode anyway. So I figured I'd just go full send and like open up to you guys. So I figured I'd go full send and just open up for you guys to submit things that you want to know my like all knowing wisdom on. And I'll do my best. I will do my best to tell you what I really would do and not just like, this is what someone should do. No, I'll tell you, I will, I'm going to do method acting, okay? I'm going to immerse myself into the story. I'm really going to put myself in your shoes and think to myself, like, if this was actually me, what would I do?

5:39And I'm going to give you guys my unfiltered advice on that. I guess not advice. I don't know. Some of this could definitely be advice, but maybe not. Okay, let's do the first one. This first one says, my new kitten hates me, like fears me so bad for no reason. Lately, he comes into my room, which he has never done before. And after a few hours, it smells like cat pee in my room. Okay, you guys, if this were truly me, I wouldn't have a cat. Okay, I hate cats. I'm not gonna lie. Other people's cats, fine. Like if they have them in their house, I don't know, I'm thinking just specifically of my best friend, she has a cat and it literally doesn't bother me.

6:18It's not inside very often, but like, I don't know, it doesn't bother me. The cats that live outside my house that pee and poop in my flower beds, those piss me off and I legitimately hate them. But just in general, as a blanket statement, I would say I don't like cats. So, yeah, I wouldn't have cats in the first place. But in like some alternate universe where I do have cats, this is what I would do. Cat pee is the worst smell in the world. Not exaggerating for me. It's like one of the worst smells ever. If you wanted to torture me, just, you know, get like cat pee fragrance and spray it in my face.

6:50so if a cat was peeing in my room, I wouldn't have a cat anymore. Like, bye-bye kitty. It's gone. I, especially, you said this is a new cat. You're not that attached to it yet, right? You're probably not that attached. And if it's peeing in your room, like, that's a big deal. It's a cat and you should get rid of it. That's exactly what I would do. I'm not even lying. I would get rid of it. And I'm sorry, I'm not a cat person, so maybe that's not the advice you want to hear, but that's what I would do. Okay, next one. So this one has a trigger warning. So it's trigger warning about miscarriage.

7:22So if that's something you don't feel like you can listen to right now, just skip forward a couple minutes. So it says, I had a miscarriage at six weeks. Nobody knew I was

7:30Sam Wood:pregnant, but I told my family about the miscarriage so I could have some support. My husband doesn't want to tell his family because according to him, then they'll know we're trying for a baby. What would Sam do? Do we really just go on with our lives with half our family never knowing this baby existed. First of all, I wanted to say I am so sorry. There's not any manual really to tell you what you're supposed to do in these situations. So really, you can just kind of go off your own intuition. I have never had a miscarriage myself. So this is kind of hard for me to put myself in your shoes. But I do imagine it would be incredibly hard.

8:05I have friends, I have family members who have had miscarriages and just like watching them go through it, I know it's really, really hard.

8:14Sam Wood:So I will do my best to kind of give you my, what would I do? I think I would tell. I think I would tell my husband's family. I think I would want them to know because, I mean, you said, do we really want to go on with our lives, with half our family never knowing this baby existed? So it sounds to me like it's important to you that like you don't just move on from that and that you want the baby to be remembered. You know what I mean? And so if that were me and I was also feeling the same way as you about that, I would want people to know. I would, however, I don't think I would want people bringing it up to me constantly and like asking me how I'm doing about it.

8:52And I don't know, maybe I'm just not the type of person that that would want that. But your husband hesitating to not tell them because he doesn't want them to know you're trying for a baby, it is kind of weird to me because I don't know. It doesn't bother me, I guess. It did when it was my first baby. I didn't want people to know we were trying to have a baby because it felt awkward to me. But guess what? When I told them I was pregnant and then I had a baby, everybody knows how babies are made, okay? So they know. They already know. So what does it matter if they know you're trying? But also I do understand in the same breath that sometimes when people know that you're trying for a baby, people constantly ask about it and they make it their business.

9:33So I can totally understand not wanting to tell specifically in-laws, I don't know, just like with women and their in-laws.

9:42Sam Wood:I think it just is a more awkward relationship, like husband's parents or partner's parents. It just is more awkward. To me, I guess it's more awkward for them to know and be asking like, oh, I know you're trying. Have you had any success? Also, why do people ask? Oh, any baby yet? Like, no, no, obviously I would tell you if they were. Anyway, okay, sorry about that little soapbox. But yeah, I think I would have, I think I would have my husband talk to them about it and not make it like a big thing. I think I would just tell them like, hey, we just wanted to let you know about this. It was important to us that you know, because like this baby is part of our family and it's important to us.

10:17And I don't know, just let them know that you need a little bit of space or privacy if that's what you wanted. that's what I would want a little bit of space and privacy I again I'm I'm really sorry that you're going through this and whatever you do decide will be will be perfect I wish you didn't have to go through that okay next one says first off so happily married I don't want to change a

10:38Sam Wood:thing but oops I have a crush and we are friends but I only know him because of my husband awkward much anyway occasionally we'll chat or send each other dms or ig reels because he is because he is super similar personality wise to me. Is this bad news bears? I won't let it turn into anything and he's pretty good at keeping boundaries but can we stay friends and keep doing this? He's so cute and it's definitely crush energy but I ain't ruining anything just having a little fun with a friend. I think this is bad news bears. I think this is just messy territory. I don't think I would I don't I don't think it could lead anywhere good.

11:14I really don't like it's it's inevitable. here we go it's inevitable for you to find people attractive like that doesn't just turn off when you get married like you're still gonna find people attractive and I think that's totally fine and normal but and like maybe even having a little crush oh no no I resent that I finding people attractive is different than a crush because a crush is like feelings and to me that feels not cool to be having feelings for somebody else when I'm in a committed relationship I I don't think I would actually not think I know I wouldn't entertain this. I wouldn't keep flirting.

11:50I wouldn't keep sending DMS and reels because guess what? You don't need another friend. You really don't. That's what I tell people when they say like they want to be friends with their ex still. I'm like, why? You don't need any more friends. Like the only reason you're friends with somebody is because you're holding out hope that it will turn into something truly. Like I think if you look inward a little bit and you're like, why do I need this person as a friend? It's because you have a crush on them and you don't want to stop having a crush on them. And I get it. Like, it's fun and gives you a thrill.

12:22But you know what gives me that same thrill? Romance books. And that's how... Maybe you should turn to romance books instead of doing this in real life because then you just live it out in your head and it's not real. But I think if you... I don't... I'd really like to be serious I don't think that you can be friends with this person and keep flirting and chatting with them because if you can't be friends without the flirting without sending dms and all that then it's not a friendship to begin with you know like if you can't be friends without that then it's not a friendship anyway back to what I would do in this situation I would stop full stop full like hit the brakes hard don't do it because it's not worth it it's gonna

13:04Sam Wood:think about if the rules were reversed and your husband had a crush and he was like kind of pursuing the crush a little bit. Not that you're pursuing this person, but like you're feeding into the crush and your husband is doing that. I don't think it would feel very good. And I don't think this would feel very good for your husband, especially since this was his friend to start with, or you only know him because of your husband. I don't know. It seems messy. So I think I would just walk away. Walk away from it. You don't need more friends. Okay. Next one says, I love food and I can't seem to just walk away.

13:35Sam Wood:Yeah, same. Literally same. You know what I would do? I would talk to my therapist. If you don't have one, it might be time to look for one. That's what I do, to be totally honest with you. I do talk to my therapist about food sometimes because it is, sometimes I feel like I'm being totally open with you guys right now. Sometimes I feel out of control. Like I feel like I can't stop eating cookies and I don't like that feeling. I don't like feeling like I can't, you know, be in charge. I don't like feeling like I can't decide what goes in my body. I don't like feeling like I have no control. And so that's something I talk to my therapist about.

14:11And I know it's complex. I know it's complex, complex. I don't know. Whatever word. I know it's complicated. Everybody's relationship with food is different. So it's hard for me to like say exactly what I do in this situation other than just talk to my therapist because I think that she would help me kind of sort out whether or not it's like just a light thing or if it's something we need to talk deeper about. Yeah, that's what I would do. I think a lot of people can relate to that. And maybe not a lot of people, but a lot of people that I talk to, I think can relate to that. Okay. Next one says, I have a coworker who is so self-centered.

14:47Sam Wood:They don't want what's best for the team. They just want whatever will be less work for them. Even if it screws over someone else, you can't talk to them about it without them completely freaking out. It makes work miserable. These kind of people suck. I'm not kidding. They freaking suck. And the reality is, though, if you try and, like, force them into caring, like, hey, this, could you not see that this screws someone else over? They don't care. They literally don't care. And it would just make them do it more, honestly. It just makes them grumpier. And what I would do is I would try to get them fired.

15:19I'm just kidding. If you didn't No, I was kidding. Don't try and get them fired because then you'll get fired. What I would do, though, is I would do my best to not interact with them at all costs. I don't think this kind of person is the kind of person that you can have a conversation with. Like you said, like it just makes them freak out and nobody wants that.

15:38Sam Wood:So I think if you had to talk to them, though, like if it was becoming a huge issue, I think what I would do is I would ask HR if they could have somebody like mediate a meeting so you guys could talk about it. They can't freak out on you if HR is there. Yeah, I think that's what I would do. I think I would ask a mediator to be there to have conversations with. But really, sometimes I just look at people and I'm like, why are you this way? Truly, like, why do you have to make everything so hard? Can't you just like take a step back for one freaking second and see that it's not all about you? And that's what I would say to this person if I didn't care about anybody's feelings.

16:12I'm just kidding. I would actually never say that to somebody. that's what i would want to say to them is why don't you care about anybody else okay next one

16:20Sam Wood:says my little sister is in a relationship with a guy who lives off grid basically in a compound with his family and he's a pretty big conspiracy theorist they're big believers in quote god will provide but they don't go to church of any sort just self-led study and reflection they say they're quote married but he doesn't even have a birth certificate so we just call him her partner because legally they are definitely not married they just had their second kid and they've had to have emergency c-sections with both. Since he has no government identification, they haven't been able to have insurance, so the bills have been astronomical.

16:50Sam Wood:We keep saying maybe they'll take this as a lesson and he'll finally get his ID taken care of, which was, quote, thought about a little before they had their last kid, but he changed his mind after they had their baby and are in debt with hospital bills over$20 ,000. So they made a GoFundMe and there was no way in hell I was going to fund this lunacy. Go get your government stuff figured out and learn from this problem. Guess what? They got funded. So no consequences for these crazies who think they can get by without government ID, insurances, and taxes. I'll get off my soapbox now. We do love them though.

17:23Sam Wood:They are just a little whack, laughy, cry face. Okay. Sometimes I see things that people do and I'm like, why didn't I think of that? Like, why didn't I, you're saying that I could just not pay my bills and just have a GoFundMe and people could pay it for me. I'm just kidding. But this person didn't come right out and ask like, what would Sam do? But I'm going to assume that you're asking me what I would do if this were my sister. And honestly, nothing. Like I would absolutely gossip about it to my friends and complain about it and be like, this is really annoying. And my husband would hear about it like every night.

17:56Sam Wood:But there's nothing you can actually do about it and nothing that I would do because I think that would cause like a rift between my sister and I and I'm not willing to do that. I think it's one of those situations where they just have to fail to succeed. Like they're going to have to face consequences before they realize that they need to change what they're doing. Like they're like you said, they had a GoFundMe and it got funded and like everything turned out OK. But so to them, like it's OK and they don't need to change, you know. So until they like actually face consequences, they're not going to change.

18:29They're not going to do anything about it. And no matter how many times you talk to them, it's you're probably not going to change their mind. So I think I may like talk to my sister about it and be like, this is I'm worried like that this is going to happen and you guys are going to get in like a really bad financial situation or worried about the kids not having like ID and what what that looks like for their future or things like that. But that's as far as I think I would go. I think I would have that conversation. Then I would drop it like I wouldn't continually bring it up because it's not going to it's just going to create, you know, more drama than it needs to.

19:04Sam Wood:it's hard to watch people do these things and can see how hard this would be watching especially as a big sister watching your little sister do these because you're worried about what's going to happen if they don't if he doesn't get id you know there's so many things that could happen so of course you're worried and of course it's frustrating to watch people not get consequences all right next one says my cousin is getting married in a few weeks and it's supposed to be a kid-free wedding i just found out though that a few of my other cousin's kids were invited i have three kids and was specifically told they could not come do i go and leave my kids behind or bring them or just not go?

19:34Sam Wood:What would Sam do? I would be incredibly petty about this. I, okay, here's exactly what I do. I would go and I'd leave my kids at home and I'd be mad about it for sure. And I would definitely tell my friends and my sisters and anybody who would listen to me how rude I thought it was. But big picture, it doesn't matter. Okay. It's your cousin. It's not your, it's not my wedding date. And in a few years, I probably won't even care anymore. I'll be over it. so I'm not gonna make a big stink about it I'm just gonna go not bring my kids and whatever if it were my sister this would be a totally different situation I would absolutely call her and be freaking pissed and be like why can't I bring my kids but since it's a cousin I think you just take the L and you just go and probably make a few passive aggressive comments like oh my kids would have loved it and I really wish they could have came with like a little bit of a side glare that's what I would do that's what I would do okay that's what I do all right next one says my neighbor is always borrowing okay this one is crazy my neighbor is always asking to borrow stuff which most of the time I don't mind because it's like a shovel or something like that but she texted me earlier today and asked if she could borrow my air fryer am I crazy or is that a weird thing to ask to borrow that's weird I think that's weird I think that's weird um especially from a neighbor and it's like not a necessity they don't need it you know what I mean they're just like hey, I think it'd be fun to use an air fryer.

21:01Sam Wood:Can I use yours? I don't know. I feel like it's equivalent to asking to borrow someone's microwave. Why would you do that? You'd never do that. That'd be weird. I would probably just say, you know what? Oh, no, I wouldn't say, you know what? That would sound rude. I'd say I spent a lot of money on this air fryer, actually. Okay. Okay. Hold on. Let me gather. I would say I spent a lot of money on it and I don't want to lend it out to people. just that like I wouldn't try and make excuses or be like I'm so sorry or I would but or I wouldn't offer for her to come over and use it because then that opens a whole other door I would just be be point blank and then if she hits you with a oh I'll be really careful I wouldn't reply I would literally ghost her which you could also do that would that's also an option for number one her texting and asking for your air fryer you could just not text her back I think that's a great option.