AWKWARD Royal Encounter: Sophie embarrasses herself in front of King Charles!

0:03Well, hello, you lovely little listeners out there. Welcome to Nearly Parents. On the menu today, Sophie, we have what? A big old fight that has just been had. Yes, we just had a big old fight. We also meet King Charles, hence why we're dressed like this. I'm in my wedding suit and Sophie's in a yellow dress. And of course, we have listeners, masters. And of course, we do pregnancy cravings. We try different foods and see if we can guess what it is. All of that coming up on the podcast today.

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2:17Hello, I'm Jamie Leng. And I'm Sophie Leng. And we've been married for two years. And we're having a baby. Yes, we are. Are you ready? Let's go.

2:31So, ladies and gentlemen, welcome back to the podcast. I'm having a dark coat. Come on me, bitches. We, the reason why we're dressed like this, if you're watching this, if you're listening to this, you'll know, you'll get the story. But if you're watching this and you're wondering why we're dressed like this, it's because we just went and met the king. King Charles. I shook his hand. Sophie shook his hand. I had a bit of side boob going on and I was like really trying to like, These puppies are not sitting in place. Inappropriate, really. We went to Buckingham Palace and we met King Charles. Not only King Charles, guys.

3:03Not only King Charles. I'll tell you who else. Who else did you meet? I shook hands with George Clooney. No, let's make this, let's really set the scene. Okay. So Sophie's wearing a big flowing yellow dress and full glam. I'm in my wedding suit. He's also in, can I just, I'm just going to say something. He's in the pair of socks that I've worn for two days because we're moving house and I saw that you snuck them, which we were in a raging argument. Raging argument. We are arguing lots, pregnant. We need to stop that. It's not good. We were in a raging argument arriving at Buckingham Palace and in Buckingham Palace, Sophie turned to me and said, I think we should live in separate houses.

3:43No, and smiling because by the way, I just want to pre-warn this. The thing was getting filmed for Netflix and so the camera's coming around and I'm going like this. I think we're going to have to move because it's too much stress on my body, all of our arguments. And Jamie's not good at acting. I'm unbelievable at acting. No, you're like, you look so distressed. Because the difference is this. I'll tell you what the difference is, right? Before we get on to what happened in Buckingham Palace, the difference is this. When you are angry and upset and hormonal and all these different things that happen...

4:11You need to solve the hormones, Giles, because I'm going to tell all the women what you say to me, and they're all going to gasp. They're all going to gasp, because I'll tell you all. I'm stressed, and I'm going to tell you why. I'm really on the brink at the minute because I'm... Jamie went on a stag do and got fucked up all weekend and left me in 32 degrees heat with no aircon in our house. Sorry, I know fastball problems. Packing up our entire flat. I know you. No, no. I haven't really thought about that. That's true. He left me. He comes back from his thing and doesn't ask how I am. Doesn't ask.

4:43I'm so stressed because I don't even know where to start. Bear in mind, this guy has the worst organisation in this girl's in the world. He comes back. He complains about his back No no no no And then My back was really sore And then he doesn't realise Guys He hasn't taken Five minutes of his day To pack up his shit So it's down to me Not five minutes of his day Not two minutes of his Not one minute of his day I am in charge of packing up This entire house I would like a bit of help Because I also work As many hours as you do mate So I don't know Whose career's got to go on hold Mine the whole time Anyway Hang on hang on I'm stressed Sophie is very stressed Sophie's stressed but what happens I also feel ill I'm like feeling a little bit for the first time and sorry I feel like weak saying this but I feel quite pregnant I'm a little bit tired at the minute and you are just no no and you this is what he says to me everyone just gasp he goes nothing stressful in your life you live in West London all you do is pick out dresses that is the biggest load of horse shit I've ever heard yes you did Sophie don't say I said that Say that No I didn't You say You meant something different But that is the worst You say As I'm crying Down the phone Saying I'm really worried Because I feel so ill I'm worried that Like my baby's not okay In my tummy Honey Lots to unpack here Just quickly Let me explain Let me explain from my side Alright This is what happened Sophie So understandably Feeling so stressed There is too much going on Drag left right and centre Podcast here Paul doing this Doing a radio show here It's too much Sophie phones me Crying And feeling just not great and just very overwhelmed with everything so understandable and what I try and do men this is what I've realized or partners out there don't do this I try and solve Sophie just wants me to listen I forget that so I try and solve so Sophie's worried about certain things she's worried about the health of everything the health of her all those different things my response is this I'm like honey don't worry you live in West London um you're healthy you're this this and this I was dating and you pick out dresses no I did not say pick out you said pick out dresses you did you said and you just pick out dresses I don't think you've ever picked out dresses yeah I didn't know why you're saying that because on Monday you walked on me having a fitting for the King's dress and so you were like you sit in West London picking out dresses I meant it in like a really like you're safe you're happy everything's okay way you take it as it's an attack and then he goes and then I said right okay that's it then and then he goes no I'm going to be firm with you now Yeah because I'm trying to make you You are the only person who causes stress You do I don't say that Yeah well that's the truth Anyway that was the reason for our fight And my poor glam team I mean honestly if I was them that would have been the best of my life Watching us have a fight like that in the flesh Watching any couple have a fight like that in the flesh I would have gone to heaven Died and gone to heaven I thought I felt bad because Willis wouldn't have liked it He's not into that much I don't know if Rachel will but I know Nicola would have loved having been there a bit.

7:46So one out of three would have liked it. She's like me and I just know she would have been there like I feel bad for them but this is just such good tea because we went in. So we arrive at Buckingham Palace. We've been invited to go by the King's Trust. Beautiful. The King's Trust are amazing. We're now ambassadors for the King's Trust which is incredible. We arrive there. Netflix is filming this whole TV show for them or something's going on and like just loads of stuff is happening and George Clooney's there. There's my great friend Fern's there. uh dynamo's rosy huntington rosy huntington is there joanna what lumley sat joanna lumley's there sam thompson's there um loads of just fun and uh deck is there no and no that's declan deck was there declan is that what we call him declan is that his name declan he wasn't christened deck i've never heard the name declan in my life is there lots of people called declan well is it just deck and and deck there's also no one called ann in ness anthony hi nassony i'm called deck deck of cards deck no he was christen deckland anyway long story short so sophie is everything's going on there and we've had the biggest row ever and i'm trying to stay calm i'm trying to like the difference is this my point is this is that you try to stay calm as you think i'll tell you what happened guys we walk in i've got to go in and we've got to meet this amazing person who has won the award and we're going to get the award out and it's going to be great and then we're going to see the king and i turn around to be like well jamie come on then and he is on the other side of the room and i said what what are you doing he said i'm i'm not going to come in with you we'll just stay separate so we're going to go in there and have all these people take photos and you're going to be on one end of the hall and i'll be at the other absolutely not so then i said well i'm about to faint so i need you to come in because i need told you.

9:33And then I felt really bad. It was like right next to you. Anyway, it was all sorts of fun, wasn't it? It was hot. I was hot. And then it came to the moment where we had to shake the king's hand. No. I am so embarrassed of myself. We got put into different groups, which are called either clusters or puddles. Clusters. And you kept calling it a puddle for no apparent reason. He said, what puddle are you in? I was like, no one's in a puddle. Everyone was like, sorry? I thought they were called a puddle. and in comes King Charles and he drinks a drink like that and he walks around to every single person and he he stunning voice he talks so what do you what do you you do something good okay that's nice and he's quite quiet so you have to lean in and we got told before we did it he said he said what you have to do is when you meet the king you slightly bow your head or you can't see if you're a woman or you can't see and then you hold your hand and you call him your majesty and then you can call him sir afterwards But do not raise your hand And shake his hand Until he's raised his hand Towards you Okay So our puddle Or cluster Here comes Charles He's coming over King Charles He goes from Kate Garraway Who was in our cluster To then our lovely Person who's winning the award That we're presenting the award to And Sophie was next in line And King Charles Was speaking to those two And kept And slightly He kept looking at me To talk to me I'm sure of it He kept looking towards Sophie.

11:00And as soon as he went towards Sophie, Sophie put her hand up like this. Five times. And then he turned away and she put it back down again. So on camera, on the Netflix show, on all the press photos, I'm going. And then what? She did this about three or four times. And then what happened was he looked at her again? Because he's just been polite. He's just been polite. You're meant to wait until he puts his hand up. I thought I was missing my opportunity. And I didn't listen to that. Because we were talking and it's just noise in my ear. So I thought He's looking at me Is this my moment I meant to shake And curtsy And I was buckling And then what happened was The last time He turned towards Sophie Sophie put on her hand She didn't withdraw She just held it there He just held it Then didn't move it I'm mortified Until he came and shook her hand Just holding it like that I'm mortified You know But he knew who Jamie was He said to have you Recovered from the run And then he said Do you guys even get To see each other And I said Do you watch Noony Words But listen His That woman Yeah She was like She ran King Charles She said I run his organisation You were not listening I wasn't listening That amazing woman Yes Who came up and said That she watches all of our shit Okay That's his right hand woman Okay You think we're going to get King Charles Sorry He has walked in To his right hand woman And she's been playing Nearly parents I'm sure of it I'm not joking Also called nearly parents He said to her He said to us Did you guys even get to see each other And I said no wish It was in the line and then so anyway it was hilarious and he went ha ha ha no what happened was he went and everything good everything good and i went oh yeah we're about to have a baby this is my wife and he went oh that's amazing when did she do and we made a joke and i went we're trying to aim it towards your birthday because i we want to land on your birthday and he went ah ha ha ha ha scorpio and i went i'm a scorpio i'm a scorpio trying to get involved yeah then he walked off we then move on to uh milling around the room meeting people and george clooney's there george clooney is the huboos the huboos like idol man yeah sophie and and georgia because of all the influence love george we grew up with george clooney was like the idol in our household he was the icon anyway he was like breathtaking and what i will say and i want the girls to know is he's not sure he's 5 '11 pointing at me or george because i my mom well and actually i will say something because my mum has got a real thing with height like she's like oh short to everyone I'm short I know but she loves me so much but I've grown up with her because my dad's 6 '4 right that was the height I thought was a normal man's height which actually that's very very short of course you would think that's a normal man's height because my grandad my mum's dad was also 6 '4 you just think everyone's supposed to why have you gone for a short bloke I'm not that short I'm 5 '9 no but my mum honestly if 6 '2 she was like you don't go below that I swear that's what she used to say is that funny no I'm kidding baby I'm kidding what is it funny that you're 5 '7

13:57I actually did an interview the other day I'm 5 '7 I did an interview with Cosme and they said we were actually debating like how tall Jamie is because like how tall are you like 5 '7 and when you're in flats he is shorter than you isn't he and I went yeah he is they went so 5 '6 and I was like you're right I think he must be honey that's Kevin Hartside I'm not 5 '6 but I'm 5 '7 I'm definitely taller than you in flats Honey, you're not taller than me in flats. I'm 5 '9". That means I'm 5 '10". And I'm not three inches taller than what I measure. Honey, I'm taller than you, I promise you. Anyway, George Clooney was 5 '11", and he was very tall and lovely.

14:33And do you want to hear the funniest thing is that, so we were trying to plan how to meet George Clooney. I'm talking to Charlotte Tilbury and Fern, and George Clooney comes over and says bye to Charlotte Tilbury. I see my chance. I died. I lean straight in and go, hey, how are you doing? Jamie, nice to meet you. He goes, hey, my name's George. I went George I went George meet my George meet my wife I honestly run halfway across the room to go and get Sophie and bring her back across and Sophie then shakes George Clooney's hand George Clooney then makes some sort of joke and I went ha ha ha ha ha laughing so aggressively at him to try and be mates can you describe Buckingham Palace for me what it looks like inside because people are always fascinated with what it looks like like the crown like watch the crown it's like the crown isn't it it's like bang on it's like I'm sure we've all seen like when I walked in And I was like, I've seen this a million times.

15:20It felt like I'd been there. It's red floors. It's the gold. It's everything. And the air con units, right? Yeah. I didn't, no one noticed this, right? I've got all these grand paintings, you know, with the gold frames. And the air con units are in the paintings. Because I'm standing by the painting and suddenly my skirt's blowing up. And my hair's whispering away and I'm suddenly freezing. And the air con, they don't want the units in the big Buckingham Palace because it's going to ruin the vibe. So in the fireplace, there was an aircon unit and like above the paintings, there was mini ones. So clever.

15:55And don't worry about it. How did you notice that? Because I was like, where is this draft coming from? And I suddenly realised every time I stood next to a painting, I would get blown into the next room. So, Sophie also being pregnant, the funniest thing about it, I don't know if other women have had this. Sophie thinks every man fancies her. No, no, I don't think every man fancies me. I really don't. And that is like... Sophie keeps thinking that men are winking at her. No, no, no. Okay, listen, guys, it's not a flex because I'm talking like a 70-year-old man. They are not hot people doing it.

16:25But I feel like there are a strange group of people, male species, who are saying hello to me and winking at me. I'm not fucking kidding. And I looked down on Sunday and I thought, do they not know I'm pregnant? Or like maybe they have a fetish. You look hot, honey. Don't be silly. I'm like a hippo walking down the street. You're not a hippo. I think you're releasing a pheromone Because honestly I am obsessed with you at the moment And not that I know I am totally obsessed I think that there's like a certain breed It's like an older generation And they're like all sort of like A same type of guy A bit creepy if I will say And it was Sunday in particular I don't know if something was going on I walked to my sisters I was on the King's Road And I walked to my sister's house 40 minute walk Four people said hello to me and two of them winked at me and they were men.

17:17They were not like, hello, good day. It was like, and I was like, how old are we talking? 50 plus. Like, it was not a flex, but I just saw what's going on? Like, is this, do these people have a fetish? Because that's something's odd. As I trotted along with like, panting with my massive udders. Like, what? Maybe that's what it is. They're liking the big bosoms. Do you think that's what it is? But what, are they not seeing the big bull as well? I love it so much You look so sweet Okay Oh I do I absolutely do I love the fact that you think That people fancy you so much Sophie I don't think people I said 50 year old man Okay well hang on a second Sophie bumped into An old friend of ours We won't say who it is Bumped into an old friend of ours She was having a Walking down the road She was concentrating On her phone And one of her Our old friends Surprised her Sophie screamed In the middle of the street Apparently like screamed Because she was so afraid Sophie then phones me up And says oh my god It was so embarrassing I screamed in the street and I went bright red.

18:16And you know what? He's going to think that I fancy him. And I was like, what? Why on earth would he think that? Because you know, like, you know, when you're at school, because I can only remember this sort of happening, like it's probably happened like a handful of times in my life where you, for no apparent reason, you are talking and you get red from your boobs and it creeps up your chest. It goes up your neck. And you know you are the darkest shade of beetroot and there's nothing you can do to stop it. Nothing. And I'm talking to this guy who I've known for years and I'm like, what is happening to me?

18:48And then I couldn't focus on him. So I was like being kind of shy and weird because I was thinking, oh my God, I'm so red. And I walked away and thought, he's going to think I fancy him because like I used to go red in front of boys I fancied at school, you know? Did you? Probably.

19:05That's a huge craving for McDonald's. No, no, my food tolerance has gone out the window, guys. It's like, I don't know what's happening. Because everyone's like, first trimester, you eat those. Or is it second? Because second trimester, I strap me back. It's not normal. I've got to stop it now. We've walked past McDonald's. I've never seen her eat a McDonald's in her life. She went, I would destroy everything in there. We walk in and you've already eaten dinner. I'm having like six sausages a go. Like I ordered six sausages. You're not. I had six sausages. And Nicola, who does my makeup and is just amazing, was like, I've just watched you and you don't even you're not even chewing you just put it in and you swallow I was like and she's seven weeks postpartum and she was like I think you've got to chew it and I was like what I'm just wolfing food down I'm just wolfing it down and she just showed me photos of a Mal Clooney who had just been Mal Clooney a Mal Clooney it's quite tongue twister who had just been pregnant with twins and like just like looked fantastic and I was like there with my throat it's like I'm just shoveling it in my mouth with my full hash browns.

20:12You put them in and just swallow. That's all happens. I don't know. I eat like it's like vast. It's like ravenous for it. I'm ravenous for the meat. Honey, I think we have to give a sex update. Is that okay? The sex update, I don't love that because honestly it's going to be nine months and people are going to get worried. This is the last time we'll talk. The further we get into the pregnancy, it's not happening. So just, I won't talk about it again, but you're telling me that we're not going to have sex for nine months. I can't see it happening right now. I really can't. I feel very, very heavy at night time.

20:44And the last thing I want is either my heavy body lifting on top of you, or even worse, your heavy body on top of my heavy body. Like, that's not cute. It's not nice. It's not, it's hot. No. What about we don't have to do it on top of each other? No. I just, like, to me, it's like climbing Mount Everest right now. Are you serious? That is like, if I could put it into something, that's what it would be. Are you, is that not part of you that's a little bit? No. I don't understand this second trimester itch. When we get, good for you, tell me the way. Maybe with my second I'll have it. But this round, no.

21:20What's really good is she... Put me to bed with a nice sausage I can eat and piece of me, not that type of sausage. And I'm so nice, but I don't want like a physical human near me. I don't even like your hands touching me at the moment because they're so, so hot. I think it's the temperature that's affecting us. I'm basically having a baby with my roommate, which is quite nice. I'm joking. I love you so much and I totally respect it. And also I think this is a natural occurrence. It's very, very hot in London right now. It's 31 and you're like a walking radiator. Don't you worry about it. It's totally fine.

21:50Pregnancy is an amazing thing. Sophie also lost her appetite for one day and cried to her mum because she thought something was wrong. I called my mum and my sister hysterically crying because I just didn't fancy like me. All I wanted was like Ice loose net greens And I was like And I ate a burger And I was like What is the cravings That you have at the moment? It's just constant me It's just constant me Just me of any type Bread, meat, hash brown Okay listen We have a dictionary corny You ready for it? Oh boy I am Let's do it Let's do it Dictionary, dictionary Dictionary, corner I have some words for you That are sex and relationship based And I want you Jamie To tell me what they mean Alright Uno Uno, daisy chain.

22:32Sorry. Uno, daisy chain. Uno. Una. No, no, daisy chain. What's the una? I was just saying one in Spanish. And it's uno, not una. What? I don't know what it is. You tell me. When a group of people form a circle with each person forming oral sets on the person next to them.

22:53I had this amazing producer, not Ewan. and he used to say that they used to get in a circle and they would just all fucking jump. And I would sit there and I would be like, tell me everything. In a circle? Yeah. Hang on, hang on, hang on. Daisy Jane is all so you lick out the arse of the person in front of you. You can't be fucking serious. Yeah, wonderful. So you rim a massive circle of people rimming. Fantastic. Fantastic. Have you ever heard of the human centipede? I've watched the movie. Have you seen that? Yeah, you've sewed each other together. Through their mouth onto arseholes. That is actually really, it's so wrong, isn't it?

23:35It's like such a wrong thing. And now I can't make a daisy chain with my child ever again. When that baby falls. Do you have another one, honey? Dongcopter. Dongcopter, very, you get your penis and you swing it like a helicopter. Yeah, I got it. You love that one, do you? I like that one. Dongcopter. Is that the end? Love that. That's the end of Dictionary Corner. Dictionary Corner. Right. Well, ladies and gentlemen, you know what time it is. It's time for Listener's Messages.

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26:56Well, welcome to Listener's Messages first, you absolute studs. I have one from Molly. Yeah. Hi, Sophie and Jamie. Congratulations on your pregnancy. Thank you very much. Thank you very much. I was listening to your podcast this morning and was laughing at Jamie talking about sex being off the cards and Sophie saying there's a padlock down there. I just wanted to give you a heads up. I was severely ill with morning sickness for the first few months, so no sex was ever going to happen. I then woke up in the morning at around 20 weeks, feeling great. So I thought, right, here we go. I'm going for it.

27:26Come on, let's go. We had sex and then got up and headed out into the car for the food shop. On the way home, I started having the cold sweats of sickness. I launched out of the car and vomited on the street outside my neighbor's house. I've never been so mortified in my life. My husband then had to come With a dog poo bag And pick it up I blame the sex I am now 31 weeks Congratulations And have not And will not be risking sex When pregnant again So how's that Sophie Why Keep the padlock intact And Jamie keep it in your pants I agree I'm so annoyed Who is that Who sent that in Is it Anonymous Molly Molly You just ruined it for me I love you so much So frustrating Okay I got one from Anonymous Firstly Congratulations on your wonderful news Thank you so much I'm a long time listener from New Zealand.

28:11Let's go. My cousin is out there. And I thought I'd share some wise words with Sophie after an experience with pregnancy constipation. She's right. You literally don't go and it's so stressful. Towards the end of pregnancy, my OB... Obstetrician. Ended up giving me a liquid laxative and a home enema. Nothing worked. Literally nothing. Until I was a week away from my scheduled C-section and the floodgates opened. I swear I was on the loo all day. And while I received, and while I was relieved, I was left with a hemorrhoid. No exaggeration. Size of a small plum. Oh my God. Fregnancy is cruel. So off I go have a baby.

28:53I swear the C-section was a walk in the park compared to the hemorrhoid. So instead of my sweet midwife checking my incision and helping me breastfeed, she was up my bum checking my plum each week. Could have died. That is genius. That's awful. I don't want to get a hemorrhoid. I have a voice note, which I'm really excited about. By the way, keep sending us voice notes on our Instagram because we absolutely love them. Or you can email us as well. But here's a voice note. Here we go. Hi, Sophie and Jamie. I am a big fan of your podcast and a big fan of both of you individually and together. I'm so happy for you both on your news and having a baby.

29:30That's amazing. I was just wondering, when did you decide that that was something you wanted? um I'm 33 years old my husband is 41 and we're still not sure if that's something we actually want in our life um obviously it's a big decision and we do enjoy traveling we do enjoy our lives but what what did it for you what made you think yes this is what we want um just curious about any advice you could give me thank you that's a great question you know what's cool is like I I don't know whether things have changed. This might be a really controversial thing to say, but like so many people now I speak to are like, I don't want children.

30:11And I think that's so epic. Like if you don't want to have children, don't have them. Totally. Like, you know, back in the day, like everyone just had children. I completely agree with you. Do you know what I mean? Like you have a choice. I think firstly, that's the main point is that you have a choice. Firstly, you do have a choice, but secondly, not everyone does have a choice. So not everyone can have kids. Yeah. So there is that as well, which we also totally understand. For me, like if I'm totally honest, I've like always wanted to be a mom like it's always been like the one thing you've always wanted to be a mom there was no chance of me ever saying I didn't want to have kids it was lock and load it was let's get him into bed let's have sex then let's never have sex again until we have to have sex again to have another kid that's what it is but I'm fine with that I'm happy that um what was the turning point for us someone said this to me they said by the way we caveat this we didn't know if we could have kids and again I just want to say we're very lucky we feel very lucky that we're able to yeah and again like i just realized that this podcast is really sensitive to people who are going through and so many people are going through that and like i just always want to keep that in mind like we're so grateful and so lucky and like so much love to like people struggling and absolutely because that is obviously it's a lot it's a lot and lots to our friends that we know and people who do struggle and are having a tough time so sending the love out but i think for me the turning point was this is someone said um to me about kids well two ones My dad said to me, and I said this on my other podcast, Great Company, I said, what do you think about kids and all these things?

31:37I'm nervous about it. And he said, well, if I had never had kids, we would never be having this conversation. And it was a great kind of moment for me to go, oh, my God, you're so right. And secondly, someone said, well, for me, I want to experience every corner of the earth. And I feel like kids gives you that. So I went, well, that's kind of an interesting thing to think as well. Kids is hard. It's going to be hard. It's going to be stressful. It's going to be lots of different things. Yeah, it stops travel, stops you working as much, lots of different stuff. but also I love you very much and I want to do something with you and build something with you so that's why we've done it but just also like I think you'll know when you know and I wouldn't overthink it and like you know you're so young and just like enjoy life and like if you feel like you know when you know don't put pressure on yourself yeah if you don't want to have kids yeah great go and drink margaritas in Saint-Tropez for the rest of your life freaking wonderful stunning yeah I also have another listener's message Okay this is from Nat I wanted to write in as my wife Abs has been a day one newlyweds fan And since we've been travelling to London regularly over recent months To go through our IVF treatment I've also grown to absolutely love listening to you both We have laughed and cried to your episodes And it has been the antidote we've needed When we were both nervous about our appointments Fast forward 18 months and after a lot of admin We are travelling to London this week for our final appointment And we will find out if our treatment has been successful Come on, let's go I'm so hopeful for you guys None of our journey would have been possible If it wasn't for my beautiful wife Who was trusting me to carry her ex In the hope of us starting a little family We always say despite the odds being against us We wanted to try To make sure we've done everything our way But if it isn't meant to be, we are enough Listening to your love over the last few months Has brought me so much joy And it has driven home how we are like you two So incredibly in love with each other There's been so many happy times I've had tears rolling down my face hearing how Jamie talks about Sophie.

33:30No matter what, love always wins. Nan apps, I can't bear it. Sending you guys love. Sending you guys so much love. Let us know how you get on. We want to hear from you. Keep us updated and you're so right. You're enough together. So listen, if you want to send us a voice note, we want to hear from you. Voice notes, emails, loads of stuff, funny stories, silly stories, pregnancy stories, anything at all. Send it to us, people. Send it to us at nearlyparentspodcast on Instagram or you can send us an email. nearlyparents at jampopproductions.co.uk send it to us also by the way everyone who comes up to us on the street showing that the fact they're listening to our podcast while walking past us we love it so many people keep doing that to us at the moment we absolutely love it so keep doing that to us that is the end of listeners messages

34:21so ladies and gentlemen after eight months we're finally in our new house everyone thanks guys but it's been really stressful we're actually not in yet We're staying in a hotel tonight because we're not in our house because we're just moving the last bits out. But it's been a lot. People say it's one of the top three stressful things you can do. Damn straight. I would say it's top one. I nearly lost my cool today how stressed I was. Honestly, like, oh, it's been so stressful moving into the house, but we're finally going in. And this is our dream home that we built, honey. Guys, so tomorrow we will get the keys at like 7pm.

34:55Oh, my God. And we'll go in. and then I wake up at 4am and I get on a flight so I have a good however many hours of my new home Honey, I'm so we've done this together like we've done this together like through the I'm really excited because Jamie what colour are the walls in our bedroom? Elephant grey elephant breath No, we have not gone with Farrow and Ball What colour is the walls in the snug? Green Well done what colours the sofa. Green. No. Brown. No. Yes, we went and picked that out together. No, we didn't. We're not even going with that furniture. You have absolutely no idea what's going on.

35:37Okay, tell me about the mortgage. Who have we got the mortgage with? The mortgage? Yeah. I speak to him. Who have we got the mortgage with? I think his name's Ian. No, no. That's not who's given us the mortgage. Yeah, well, Ian's on the phone to me all the time and I said I loved him. Where do you get a mortgage from? The bank. Which bank are we using? Metro. No. Nat West? No. Who's our heating with? Who cares? Okay. Who's our internet with? I'll tell you what. It's not there. Didn't put air con in, did we? This is a really sore sore. No, we didn't put air con in. Because you know what, guys? I insisted we were going to have air con.

36:11And I'm sorry. I know this is important. I'm sorry to do this. But Jamie, this little creature over here, went behind my back. I haven't told you this. I did not go behind my back. Yeah, he did. He went behind my back. And he said, no, you know what? I'd rather have Bang and Olsen. fuck off TV and my wife can just swear like no air con scrap it I don't want to spend the money on that I want to spend it on the TV and I am honey that is not true guys I will break something when I think about it I am that angry because it's 30 degrees I'm already so hot at all times of the day and now we're going to go into a roasty toasty house well I love you love you alright listen up Jamie I've got one little game before we clock off for the day okay tell me honey We're going to do a blind taste test on pregnancy cravings.

36:59Well, welcome, you lovely, blooming listeners, who we freaking love, by the way. You're part of our family. Welcome to the taste test, the pregnancy taste test, which I, for some reason, have been roped into. Sophie has three options in front of her that she's going to try, and I have three options in front of me which I'm going to try. The difference between mine and Sophie's, Sophie's looks quite nice. Mine look like mashed up Vile stuff So I'm going to change them around Okay I'm going to give you That one first Here we go First one By the way Sophie has an amazing palate So she'll be able to do this From smell I guarantee From smell Okay smell that go Apple cider vinegar She's absolutely right She's absolutely right Would I get that?

37:39I could drink that whole thing Right now Would I get that? Here we go hon I'd get that No you wouldn't I would Okay here we go Next one Oh god It's

37:52olive tapenar black olive tapenar and i'm not joking i would i get these fine all right yes she's correct last one last one here we go all right gherkins gherkin juice pickle brine you're absolutely right you absolutely nailed it all right okay well done okay 10 points for gryffindor for Sophie and Boone. And thank you for you because mine were delicious. I would actually shot all of them. All right, here we go. Come on, lean in. Let's go for my turn. Pregnancy cravings are out of control, so I'm going to get this. Here we go. Okay, this is the first one. Oh, my God. Flipping hell. You've got to shot yours because they're like quite chewy vibes.

38:30Okay, here we go. Chop. No, come on. You've got to put it all in. You've got to shot it back. It's gherkins. That's gherkins. And I want... Sorry. That's cornichons and onion. No, you're going to put that all in your mouth, Jamie. Honey, I'm not going to shot the whole thing. But that's not cheating because you're only getting half of the flavour. Honey, I'm not... Oh, my God, what was that? It's linked onto my... It's dripped onto my face. It's cornichons and onions. What is it? Bananas and pickles. Bananas and pickles. Right. Okay, I've got the other one. It slaps ass, this one. What the bloody hell is that?

39:05That's absolutely unbelievable. You've got some of my fingers. It stinks. get right in there otherwise cucumber no god you're bad cucumber how could you cucumber and mustard watermelon and mustard I understand it that's close yeah and quite nice I imagine not really okay swap it over honey okay this one you're gonna like and so people are really having these because I've had carrot and mustard a lot guys I'm not that's soy sauce no it's not yeah it is it's not that's soy sauce what is it drink it honey I can't drink that Honey, I know you and I know you like this. I know your flavours. Get the tongue in there.

39:42Get that pointy little tongue in there. Right in there. Ah! Oh my God, that's spicy. Ah! That's not good. That's spicy sauce. Go in for another one. I can't, honey. That's so spicy. You've got zero out of three and the winner gets to have sex.

40:05That is absolutely fucking... That's a spicy sauce. What is that? With what? Soy sauce. Hot sauce and ice cream, you motherfucker. Hot sauce and ice cream? I thought you'd love that. Like creamy hot sauce. That is the hottest sauce I've ever had in my entire life. That is absolutely fricking vibe. Your pupils have I dilated from it. Woo! Get that in you. Fricking pipe and smoke it. I should have that. We should do the daisy chain with that. Hopefully I'd go to the loo if I had that. Oh my god, you would go to the loo now. Okay. Well, that was a fun little game we just played. That was a really fun game.

40:35I'm absolutely dizzy out of my head now. Well I actually do need a shit I'm not joking Okay no no come on Oh my god Told you No that's not funny That is Can I just say King Yui is genuinely so speechless And I love you so much Don't give me hot sauce Yui Because that is You're just so clean I just can't With the shock I'm not even speechless He's such a dirty pig Okay, before we go, guys, we have a weird pranksy tip of the week, which we would love to hear from you. If you have a weird pranksy tip of the week, get in touch. We want to hear it. It's not necessarily a fact. It's just what we've been given, right?

41:16So it might not be true. Whisper to goldfish for good luck and labour. Goldfish are known to be great listeners and allegedly transfer calm energy to your uterus through aquatic telepathy. I mean, I would like to say it's real. I don't think it is, but I'm... I'm doing that. I'm going to go and get you goldfish. If we do a water bath, I'm going to put the goldfish in the water bath. That's what I'm going to do. No, because that would be so scary for them. To look around and see what's going to... That big old poofty vagina in there. Delete that. No, no, no, no, no. Not. You're not. But it would be a crime scene down there.

41:51Oh, my God. That's worse. Not than the poofty vagina. Not the poofty vagina sitting in there. Terrifying. I was a little goldfish. The reason he's saying poofty vagina is because my friend, again, who does something like that, has just had a baby. She said you get like A puffy vagina When you get pregnant Yeah you don't I haven't seen your vagina I know but I'm trying To wear him off By being like You don't want to go near there Honey I haven't seen it So I don't know you I haven't seen it either To be honest Well two become one That was our weird Pranksy tip of the week Please send them in to us We'd love to hear from you That was from Leanne Thanks Leanne Okay keep sending them in At Nearly Parents Podcast on Instagram Or you can send us an email Nearly Parents At jampopproductions.co.uk If you're getting married Good luck If you're single And ready to mingle Go out and have as much fun because once you're in, it's over.

42:36If you're just out and having a blast. Go and have as much sex as you can. And if you're having a baby. We love you. We love you. Bye bye. We'll see you next week on Monday as always. Bye.

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