Is Sophie and Jamie’s home HAUNTED?!

0:00On today's episode of Newly Parents, it's unbelievable. We talk about Sophie going to Mighty Hoopla. She's exhausted. She has. I solo parented for a day. We talk about taking a pee sitting down. All of that coming up on the show. If you haven't subscribed to our show already, click that button. Enjoy. It's going to be an incredible episode. Welcome in. It's Newly Parents. Hello, I'm Jamie Leng. And I'm Sophie Leng. And now, we're Newly Parents. Oh, yeah, we are, baby.

0:29Hi, this is Brooke DeVard from Naked Beauty. I am always looking for ways to elevate our daily rituals. And the Kohler Smart Toilet is proof that design changes everything. It's this stunning sculptural piece that feels like quiet luxury for your bathroom. It totally transforms your daily ritual into something elevated with customizable cleansing and touchscreen controls. It's functional art that makes your space feel cleaner and more intentional. A modern home deserves a modern toilet. Experience the difference of Kohler smart toilets. Find more at Kohler.com.

1:07Hello, hello. This is Brooke DeVard, host of the Naked Beauty Podcast. I want to talk to you about Lexus. At Lexus, master craftsmen called Takumi are involved not just in physical craftsmanship, but in all of those sensory details. These masters evaluate things like how a door closes, the click of a switch, the acoustic feedback of controls. Instead of just instruments, Takumi craftsmen rely on human perception and intuition to create what sounds and feels right. Out of all of the tools that Lexus uses, the most powerful one is understanding what will make us feel something. Because a car that doesn't make you feel something is a car that stops short of amazing.

1:47Experience amazing at your Lexus dealer. This message is brought to you by today's sponsor, Walden University. Set a course for change. Now is the time to make a real change in your life, career, and community. At Walden University, we give you the support and flexibility to get the W. Walden's online programs are designed for working professionals like you. You'll gain hands-on skills to take on real-world challenges and succeed. Your future is waiting, and Walden is here to help you achieve it. Take the first step to make your impact. visit waldenu.edu walden university set a course for change certified to operate by chev

2:29ladies and gentlemen welcome back to episode eight of newly parents if you're listening to this right now wherever you are honey why don't we just gonna ask them to click that subscribe button click click click that subscribe button it just means so much to us we love you guys welcome back everybody thank you so much for coming back to the show we're here sophie and i we talk about being parents amongst other things like sydney sweeney that's going to come up today we don't actually talk much about being parents i will say we should really talk about it we should i'm going to give some some serious dad advice i'm sick to death of all of us saying how tabby are like you guys are sick of it i'm sick of it i'm embarrassed i'm embarrassed i'm embarrassed for you i'm actually embarrassed i'm mortified for you i'm really embarrassed for We went to a lunch yesterday at my best friend Melissa's.

3:19We're too tired to say I'm tired. And we're bored of our own voices saying I'm tired. So what we do to each other is we go, as though we're nodding off. He does it at the lunch in front of everyone. Melissa literally looks at him and probably thinks, what, are you saying that we're all boring? You don't even say, oh, sorry, it's because I'm tired because of Ziggy. You just look at me and you're like, and I was like, what are you doing? What are you doing? Oh, God. We went to this lunch yesterday and it was actually so great. We saw our friends. It was really good fun. And our friends have just moved into an apartment block.

3:49And it's actually one of the funniest things ever. They've moved into the apartment block. And our friend called Bella, she went to... She's going to love this. She went to her loo. She went to check in her loo and lifted up. And there was a shit in her loo. And she went, fuck. Why is my husband just taking a shit in my loo? So he shouted to her husband and said, why have you taken a shit in my loo? He said, I haven't been in your bathroom. So there's a phantom shit in her loo. She flushed it. She was like, okay, whatever. They went on holiday.

4:25They came back. There was a shit in the loo. It's a little man in the wall. He's crapped into their house. He's just taking logs in their loo. There was another shit in the loo. They can't work out if someone's coming into their apartment to take shits or that it's coming from another apartment into their loo. They think that the pipes are really bad and that the apartment above flushes the loo and it like doesn't drain out. It just goes up into their loo. Oh God, it's so great. That is like, that would be like my worst nightmare. Like if you went and did a poo and it didn't flush. I think that's happened to you.

4:58No, it really hasn't. But the reason I say that is because our drains are like bad. Like our flushes are bad. I don't like you at all. No part of me likes you. No, no, no. I'm going to tell the story. You said there was something wrong with our water. No, there's something wrong with our flushes. It's like, you think this house looks nice? Doesn't work. It's a fucking load of shit. Doesn't work. Leaks everywhere. Poos don't flush. My poo flushes every time. Every single time. I'll tell you why your poo flush is. Because you lay it up with a whole loo roll of tissue paper every single time. At this lunch on the weekend.

5:34And there was another family who had another baby. And we were the baby. You can't have a lunch. As parents, you can't have a lunch. It's crazy. You can have a lunch. But you both need to be quite nonchalant. as nonchalant. I think I'm really good at being nonchalant. Like, I'll just like be mid-conversation. I'll get the carrier on. I'll know he needs settling. Like, I'll do... You, fast, fast, fast. Non-stop fast. Like, it's like we can't do anything because you're like... Hang on a second. You're like, can you put the aircon on? Oh my God, Sophie's too hot. I'm like, he's naked. He literally has no clothes on.

6:04And I'm cold, actually. Yeah, because you run cold. You run hot. Mm-hmm. And my son is me. Everyone says it. No, he looks like like you but he feels like me he doesn't feel hot at any time when you be honest when you hold our son right and you hold him does he feel like you or does he feel like me lies no be honest do you just feel yourself because i i have him on me and i'm like you're fully 100 % me no he looks like you no but i don't know whether other parents feel this i know like i've obviously had him with you but like i don't know it's a bad thing to say but like i feel like he's 100 % my son like i don't even know that your your your jeans are in him but is that what you feel like when i think about it i'm like oh my god how sweet he's gonna have your jeans but like to me i just look at him and like he's he's a boy version of me he's a boy version of you but his feelings are me his insides like what he feels is me no but be honest when you i'm being honest i need to just ask you this because i do often think about it when you hold him yeah do you just think this is my child and he's all my blood.

7:05No. Yes. You don't hold him and think he's me. I look at him and see... Would you be happy if you have my personality? Yes. No, you wouldn't. No fucking way. I'm for the whole of my life. I'm tired. I'm cold. Oh, I've got a headache. You're the one with a headache 24-7 these days. But can I put it out there? I think mums are superheroes. Sophie went to Mighty Hoopla on the weekend to go and party, have fun, let your hair down, Go and snog some people. Whatever you wanted to do. I don't think that's what I did. You didn't do that. Just go and have a fun time. I really don't think that was a festival for me to be doing that anyway.

7:41So you went to Mind Hoopla, right? It's one of the biggest LGBTQ plus festivals in the whole of Europe. It's insane. You went there with our friends and you had a great time. I had the best time. I had the day where I was looking after Ziggy by myself. Okay, just hang on. Hold your horses, big cat over there. What time did I leave? Hold your horses Can I just Can I tell my side? Oh no I'm going to tell you my side And then you can tell your side So I was I was left with Ziggy By myself Now I want to caveat For a second I have looked after Ziggy Before for like Half a day A couple hours here So I'm going to put it out there I looked after Ziggy For a whole day From 2pm When he woke up From his afternoon nap But I had obviously Done breakfast, lunch No But you're amazing Okay look I'll let you have your moment I'll give it to you And I'm trying I'm giving you a huge amount of credit here.

8:31Fair enough. Okay. I looked after Ziggy for the first time by myself for the day. Afternoon. I looked after him by myself for the afternoon. Yeah. Okay. It was fucking chaos. I'm not even joking. I need everyone to know I'm a present dad. I'm there the whole time. He's amazing. I do all, I don't do all the nights. You do the nights, but I will like wake up. I'm like very involved. However, I have my teammate Sophie here who's phenomenal and helps me through it. So having a co-pilot. Can I explain what happens? I woke him up from his nap. As soon as I wake him up, I have to go and get a bottle, right?

9:04When you have a newborn or like a baby six months. He's not a newborn. Jamie's go-to with me is like, Sophie, I'm just a new dad with a newborn. And I'm like, he's not a newborn. Okay, he's six months old, Sophie. Yeah, nearly seven. Okay, what happens to this? I'm like, okay, come on, little Zig, we're going to have a day with daddy. And he's freaking out more than I'm freaking out. Because he's like, stranger, stranger. He loves me so much. Doesn't he? Anyway, so I like, taken downstairs, Sophie has written on this board all the things that I need to do. And it's like, seven scoops. And in my head I'm going, seven scoops of what?

9:52Seven scoops of what? Okay. I know it's not jam No you're not I know it's not You're not A little bit Because I'm so delirious Because I'm so tired I'm like okay Seven scoops You're so delirious And so tired from me Leaving at two And having to wake him up At two thirty You're a freaking hoopla Getting your hoop on Listen Anyway you've written On the whiteboard Things I need to Seven scoops I'm like alright Go make seven scoops Seven scoops of milk I make the milk With him in my arm I've done this before Plenty of ties But Sophie's not here To help me I can't scream upstairs Sophie can you help me with this I'm solo By myself Here we go So I start doing that.

10:26I'm like, okay, fine. I make his bottle. I feed his bottle. That's fine. I burp him. He's really gassy. So I burp him. I'm like, all right, fine. Here we go. Then I hold him. I'm like, what do we do now? I guess we just play together. So I played with him for an hour, an hour and a half. I then go, it's like food time now. So I'm like, all right, at five o 'clock, I've got to make his food. It's five minutes to five. I look on the board and I'm like, it's easy. Just go and get some bone broth. some courgettes and butternut squash, melt them down, put a little kid pasta stuff in it, boil up, bish bang bosh, Ziggy's your frickin' daddy, I'm gonna make it.

11:02I start making it at 5 '2", because I was gonna feed him at 5'. You told me to feed him at 5 '15", I was like, I'll feed him at 5'. Thank fucking god I had started at that time. It was crazy. I then have to go and bath him, bathing him? Sophie does it like it's some sort of like salsa dance. She picks up Ziggy with one arm like he's like a little feather and drifts him through it and Ziggy's going ah in the best time I went to do it and I was like right here we go Zig I go to pick him up he's like picking up a seal it's so slippery I'm like Jesus Christ like somehow pick it up I put it into the sink I then lower him down like he's Jesus into the water and I'm going back and forward with him And he then lifts off his neck.

11:55He has so much food. That's why you have to do it. In his neck. I was like, this is absolutely crazy. Anyway, I put him to bed, fall asleep. I'm exhausted. No, you're texting me whilst at Hoopla, bearing my no signal at this festival. Is this what I put him into bed in? No, no, that's a newborn. Just to caveat this, I'm a really good present dad, but I've never done it by myself like that for a day. And before you come out... What are you about to do? I'm going to read the message that I wrote about mums, because this is important. Mums out there are fucking incredible. And I think what happens is this, is that a lot of, everyone's different, and I know every scenario is different, and I know there are dads who are more present and less present, and mums who are more present and less present, but this is my situation, right?

12:43I had a feeling that, right, okay, here we go, we're going to do this, and I went back to work very early, and I was like, I've had a really long day at work, and now I have to go and do the nights because occasionally I do a lot of the nights right and I'm like oh that's quite hard looking after a baby in the day is harder than going to work for sure for sure even though I kind of knew that it was proven to me yesterday so I wrote this message on Instagram to shout out all mums I went right I just want to take a moment to shout out all the mums out there I know plenty of dads are absolutely showing up and giving everything including myself but today today is not about that today I'm talking about the real heroes Ziggy's six months old now and I'm watching it firsthand.

13:19And honestly, mums are something else entirely. Even when they are completely and utterly exhausted, they are still there, still checking, still listening, still making sure their baby is okay. They don't swish off. Not ever. There is no clocking out. No, someone else's turn, no pause button. They just keep going. And the instincts, I can't even explain it. Before the cry even fully comes out, they already know what it means. I look at that and honestly wish I had even a fraction of it. Mums never stop. Not really. Even when they sleep, A part of them is still on Still present Still on guard It's like a superpower That nobody asked for And nobody prayed them for They just carry it Every single day Without making a fuss So to every single mum out there I see you I salute you Because the true heroes They're you And it's Yay After Long story short After my day You do that Every day It's un-fucking-believable And my mum did that Ish

14:17until I was eight and sent to boarding school the motherfucker you can complain you're tired the whole time you can say you have a headache whenever you want you can say my god today has been stressful because my day is never going to compare to yours love you and you're an amazing dad and so great and so present it's crazy though it's crazy yeah all I can say is if you're a mum don't go to a festival don't think you're going to have a good time so how was Mighty Hoopla? I lasted three hours. I went, I think I'm going to go. And everyone's like, you're going to go now. But Lily Allen's on in another five hours.

14:49I was like, still going to go now. And then it took me two hours to go home. I walked for an hour and a half. I thought I was about to have a panic attack. I thought it was going to be like a concert. And like, you know, there was going to be a stage. And it's just like in Hyde Park. No, no, it's a full on festival. Lost everyone, walked blisters all over my feet. but I still have the best time. Can I read you the messages that Sophie sent me? This is Sophie sending me messages while I'm dancing throughout the day. So she leaves, right? She goes to Mighty Hoopla. This is the one. I love you. I love you too.

15:24I said that to you. You said that to me and I said I love you too. I'm so nice. I send a picture of Ziggy in the pram. I'm pushing him. Sophie sends me a message responding to the photo. I'm freaking out. This is at 4pm. She's only been gone an hour and a half. I'm freaking out. how do I leave? Like I don't know how I'll get a taxi it's mayhem I reply why are you freaking out? You reply it's a lot Right what I want to explain is that No no then you went okay I'm better now I found the team oh I found I found Yui and then sent a picture of Yui and everyone I found them I'm okay oh good this is good then I sent a photo of Ziggy so good reply I miss him I need to come home You were ruining it He kept throwing me photos of my son.

16:11I was like, stop making me a bubbing. Also, loads of girls kept walking past me going, it's Sophia Boo without a baby. And I was like, oh God. No, it was very fun. Wait, then I've got to keep going. Then she sends a picture of King Yui, producer Yui. And underneath he goes, I have mum guilt, but he's fine, isn't he? And I was like, Yui or Ziggy. Can you talk to us? Because this is a newly parents podcast. Can you explain what mum guilt feels like? because I don't think dads feel the same. It just feels like you suddenly feel so guilty. Like it's overwhelming guilt. But I don't know if every mum gets it.

16:47Maybe it's a bit of anxiety. I don't know. But it just like comes on out of nowhere. Like you're having the best time and then suddenly you're like, I need to get home to my baby. It literally just comes out of nowhere and overtakes your whole body. Can you describe what it feels like so I can try and understand? Like what does the guilt feel like? Like guilt. Like you've cheated? Like that kind of guilt? Or like you've stolen something? You've lied? Like, you know, when you've had a nightmare and you've cheated. Yeah. It's like that. It's like overwhelming. It's like, oh my God, I need to like get home.

17:14It's like, you feel so homesick for your baby. Like you're like, I just need to get back to them. But men, you don't get that. You swan off for a whole week and you're like, see ya. No, no, no. We get guilt. No, you don't. When you're away, you don't get guilt. We do get guilt. Do you? Yeah. It's just a different form of guilt. We feel guilt, but it's just different. Do you know what I just love? Every couple is the same. So we went to our friend's house, as we said, for lunch on the weekend, and we were speaking about different things. Now, we've spoken about the time that we watched The Housemaid together in the sex scene with Sydney Sweeney.

17:49And we got into this conversation of how men and women are different. And our friend spoke about the fact that they were watching Euphoria. And apparently in Euphoria, I haven't seen it, the new series, Sydney Sweeney. Like flings herself against glass and her tics are just like there. And then like a dragon comes out of her. as she's like orgasming. No, Sydney becomes Godzilla. And apparently she presses her boobs against an apartment with the glass like this. And there's a guy in the office who's masturbating. Like this is the whole scene. And apparently she looked across at her husband and her husband was just going, this is so silly.

18:26Isn't this, this is just so silly. This show is just so silly. It's just so silly now. Like this is silly. Really? Oh, God, it's good. It is good. It is good. When you see a hot guy walking down the road, what do you think? Fit. And what are you assessing? Good looking. I wonder what his wife looks like or what girlfriend or what job does he do. That's what I'm thinking. That's what you're thinking? Yeah, like, I wonder what his vibe is. What's he doing? Sophie saw a hot guy once, obviously, walking down the road. She came back and she bought me some Carhartt trousers and some skater shoes. I looked like I was 15, got on a skateboard.

19:03and I was like you're literal and there's no stubble and you're very fair so it doesn't and you were like hot and I was like I don't look fucking hot I look ridiculous I'm pinning this story of guys and girls right now I'm just going on this tangent quickly it's like I think Sophie does it on purpose we went to Wimbledon I got some brand new trousers lifted up a nice shirt with a collar that Sophie told me to wear and I was like brilliant let's go to Wimbledon wearing like this went to Wimbledon had our photo taken I look fucking horrendous I look like I was wearing an umbrella for trousers and my shirt was like a school shirt and you go yeah but the problem is like your hair is too light so it doesn't work for like your profile no I don't say that people are going to think I'm so mean no you're not mean you're wonderful what I did was that was back in the day when you didn't have like the short size so it was giving very Boris Johnson-esque on top and Jacob Elordi bottom you need to like it needs to translate the whole way through so now we've got the mullet everyone agrees You look so stunning.

20:03Correct, everybody? We like the mullet. We like the mullet. Magda's got it up. Can I just say the black shoes with the white dress? Can I just say, I'm just going to put this out there. I didn't pick that outfit. You did pick that outfit. I said you looked fine. You picked that outfit. And I think you look lovely. You don't. I do. I look hoot. Anyway, going back to the pinning up here, right? So when you see a guy walk in, you're thinking, what is their girlfriend like? What job do they have? I think, wow, you look really nice. And then I'm thinking, I wonder what his job is. And then I'm thinking, I bet he's got a gorgeous girlfriend.

20:33Then I'm looking for the girlfriend because I want to see what she's wearing. Can I tell you what Jamie did last night? Okay, so I'm so tired and I'm going to bed and he said that he was going to take the night. Why? Until 2am. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, don't you try. I said I'd take the whole night, which I do quite a lot. Let's put it out there. I've said my truth. You don't do the whole night quite a lot. I've said my truth. I will tell you you've done like three whole nights, which is unbelievable. And I'm so grateful for you. Just give me credit where credit's due. You don't do the whole night.

21:04I don't do the whole night, but I've done a lot of nights. You're really good at the nights. And you know when Ziggy, our little boy, wakes up. And we make a deal. I'll do from this time to this time. When you give me your time, you know. You know he's not going to wake up during that time. Not my fault. I know my baby better than you. So you'll go, I'll do 9 till 1am. No, I go, I'll do 9 till 2.30. No, you don't. 2.30am every night he wakes up. You'll go, I'll do 9 till 2. And I'm like, brilliant. Did that the first night. Fully awake at 2.30. Fully awake. But the other night, also, you were meant to do 2.30.

21:395 to 2. 5 to 2? 5 to 2 a.m. Where? Jamie, it's your turn. No, it's not. I've got 35 minutes left. Can you please do it? I'm too tired. By the way, guys, that doesn't happen because the movie requires I'm in the room like Michael Phelps. He's a swimmer. He actually is. unbelievable knowledge. Okay, so Jamie, you also sleep through the monitor so I'm never fully off even if you are doing the nights because every time Ziggy wakes up, the monitor is in Jamie's ear this loud. The white noise, Ziggy. That loud. And Jamie. Can I also say just a new habit that I've learned since having a baby, since becoming a dad.

22:19I now go to the loo to take a pee and I sit down. Doesn't every man do that? Like, why is this? You're so weird that you stand up and take a pee. No man does that. us women could stand up and do a pee no you couldn't I would just hover over the loo with my legs open like in a squat and just pee straight down you could do that? how would you direct it? well it's just a hole, it comes straight out doesn't it go all over the place? like a sprinkler I fear I've never tried it so I don't know let's go and film it now and see what happens if I were a man I would pee and put my tip, tip my willy down the loo Well, I've now, in the night, I now do that because I'm so exhausted.

23:00And I want to know if any other person out there does that. It's phenomenal. I don't know why I was taught to stand up and do it. What's the point? Why were you? I actually genuinely wonder why were men taught to stand up? And like hold your penis. You're going to have to hold it. I do have to hold it. I have to push it. No, because it will get a witch's kiss. What's that? An erection? No, do you know what a witch's kiss is? I don't want to know. A witch's kiss is... nose with a little kiss at the end. A witch's kiss is when you're taking a poo and your penis touches the toilet bowl. It's cold on the end of your penis and it's called a witch's kiss.

23:34That's fucking vile. That is absolutely disgusting. A witch's kiss. Why a witch's kiss? Because they've got pooey kisses. It's not pooey. It's cold. A witch's kiss. Oh, because they're so cold. Like that. Alright, ladies and gentlemen, on that note, it's time for listeners' messages!

24:03Hi, this is Brooke DeVard from Naked Beauty. I am always looking for ways to elevate our daily rituals, and the Kohler Smart Toilet is proof that design changes everything. It's this stunning sculptural piece that feels like quiet luxury for your bathroom. It totally transforms your daily ritual into something elevated, with customizable cleansing and touchscreen controls. It's functional art that makes your space feel cleaner and more intentional. A modern home deserves a modern toilet. Experience the difference of Kohler smart toilets. Find more at Kohler.com.

24:41Hi, this is Debbie Millman from the Design Matters podcast, and today's episode is sponsored by Lexus. Design isn't just about function. It is about feeling. At Lexus, every detail is intentionally designed. Master artisans don't just focus on what you can see. They obsess over what you can feel. The way the door closes. The precise click of a switch. The acoustic feedback of every control. Because a car that doesn't make you feel something is a car that stops short of amazing. Experience amazing at your Lexus dealer. This message is brought to you by today's sponsor, Walden University. Set a course for change.

25:27Now is the time to make a real change in your life, career, and community. At Walden University, we give you the support and flexibility to get the W. Walden's online programs are designed for working professionals like you. You'll gain hands-on skills to take on real-world challenges and succeed. Your future is waiting, and Walden is here to help you achieve it. Take the first step to make your impact. Visit waldenu.edu. Walden University. Set a course for change. Certified to operate by Shev. Hello, I'm Monica Reinagle, host of the Nutrition Diva podcast. Summer is here and with it, the hot and sticky weather.

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27:02Well, ladies and gentlemen, welcome back to Listener's Messages. Listener's Messages. Sing it, girl, sing it, girl, sing it. Sing it, daddy. Daddy, sing it, girl. Okay, let's go. Okay, Magda, before we start, you have a story apparently about me, your hen doos. Magda was on a hen do this weekend. Guys, I'm feeling quite weak. I will say your voice sounds very sexy. It's quite, it's good, isn't it? Yeah, it's good. It's a little bit Sydney-sweeny. So what's the story about me? So I went on this hen do, and you know, you're chatting and chatting and chatting, and then one of them, who I went to university with, she was like oh I remember Jamie did a nightclub appearance when we were in freshers yeah and her boyfriend who was one of my friends at uni as well he organized this club night and obviously like every week it was Exeter so we've always got somebody from Made in Chelsea coming and doing an appearance yeah yeah and Jamie came I think there was some kind of t-shirt gun kind of thing you were firing out into the audience and then you all went back to my friend's house who organised the night, apparently you were so annoying, they kicked you out of their house.

28:15I know he would be. And just sent you out onto the street. And you were like, I don't know where I'm going. They were like, we don't care. Bye. Guys, listen. When I tell you there is no worse a drunk than Jamie Lang, harmless, but fucking irritating. That is a prime example. And you know what's even amazing? he won't have remembered you'd have woken up and been like that was a great night they love me yeah yeah yeah don't remember that remember the t-shirts don't remember the other bit I don't remember that block that out it's so good that that PA though I'm not even kidding you this is no word of a lie I got back on the train to go back to London I was so hung over I was on the train and I started watching Parent Trap I was thinking I'm gonna get scotch eggs I'm gonna get some mashed potato all this food I was gonna get I was so excited anyway I started to look out the window two hours into Parent Trap I looked out the window we were going past like sheep and stuff and I was like where the fuck are we I got on the wrong train I went all the way to Penzance got off at Penzance and had to fly back to London I flew where the hell is Penzance I had to fly back to London where is Penzance the bottom furthest bottom of the UK Wales left bottom left it's Cornwall so it's the same train just other direction but I had scampion chips on the sea so everyone's a winner.

29:36Right, I have a funny birth story from Lauren. Hi guys. My partner and I live in Europe and last September we welcomed our rainbow baby boy into the world. As we're both originally from the UK there can be sometimes a bit of a language barrier so here's my birth story. We were shown to this beautiful birthing suite and as the midwife was showing us around she points to these plastic bags with a large circular opening and says in her best English if you need to pee, do it in here. We were slightly confused. but I was attached to loads of machines, so we just assumed that this must be normal. Four hours and three weeks later, the midwife came in to check on me.

30:11After finishing, she went to put on her gloves in the bin when she suddenly said, Oh no, have you been sick? I replied, no. She then asked, Then why are there three bags of sick in the bin? You got a list of it. That was the moment we realised. I'm so confused. Due to the language barrier, did she not mean pee in the bags at all? We were 100 % the talk of the ward that day. I mean, she wasn't meant to pee in it, honey. I've got a funny story from Anonymous Hello Sophie and Jamie Hello Hello Hello I'm delighted the podcast is back I've never told the story before So what better time than on the podcast I was seeing a guy for a few months And one night after quite a few drinks One thing led to another And we didn't use protection The next morning I left his flat And did the walk of shame to the pharmacy To get the morning after pill A few weeks went by And he asked me to be his girlfriend The following weekend He invited me to have dinner At his parents house His mum greeted me at the door and lo and behold She was the pharmacist who had given me The morning after pill No!

31:12It was very awkward at the dinner table And my poor boyfriend was completely clueless to our prior interaction When we left he asked if I didn't like his parents Because he felt the vibe was off I told him about my encounter with his mum in the pharmacy And he burst out laughing He told me this was not the first time this had happened We've been together for three years now And his mum is the pharmacist who dispenses my contraceptive pill Thankfully, she's always been completely professional And outside of work, we can both now laugh About the awkward first time meeting That is hellish Here is a story from Kirsty and Ben Hi Jamie and Sophie, I have a lovely little tale for you More of a warning once you've done having kids Can't wait My husband and I have three children A daughter, and then we had twins, boy and girls Not keen on having another We decided it was time for my husband To make more of a permanent solution A vasectomy Being a good sport, he felt it was important he had the procedure, so he did.

32:04He didn't have any complaints afterwards. He was told he needed to take it easy for the next few days and that there would be some swelling. One night, as I was falling asleep, he mentioned he did have some swelling. And he was right. His balls had swollen up to the size of two grapefruits. It was like he had cleavage. You could see them through his cheeks.

32:31did he notice before is they like what's that in your jeans oh god good but since i was a tired parent i went to sleep what what do you mean he just went to sleep the next thing he developed a temperature and i told him to go to any the next thing you know he texted me a photo of an ivy in his arm and so began a three-day stay in hospital When he got out, he spent hours in the bathroom each day deflating his balls from the fluid build-up It was absolutely disgusting This wife is brutal Sounds like you Although the procedure didn't go smoothly as he hoped He'd said he'd stay in hospital It was actually some light relief from parenting at home She's honestly smashing this guy I've told you the time that my friend got mumps I must have told you this Oh my god I had mumps when I was at university So I was sitting downstairs my housemate was like don't worry don't worry about it I've had mumps before and I was like trust me I've had mumps before you can get it and he's like no you can't and I was like you can he was like oh I won't get it next day two days later I come downstairs and he's sitting downstairs and he goes what do you think this is and he lifted up his shirt and it looked like he had half a tennis ball if that's hernia that's not mumps honey it wasn't he had half a tennis ball underneath his belly button it looked like and I was like that looks like mumps and he was like it can't be the next day I came down his balls had got so big you couldn't fit one of them into a pint glass because we tried it was I've never seen anything like it so mumps it's on your face isn't it and on your balls from then not great for any balls I'm really sorry but he was fine was he fine right honey your turn okay right I've got a love story from Nathan and Rosa come on dear Sophie and Jamie my partner and I met at university in an a cappella group a cappella group acapella you can't say anything acapella similar to you guys can you feel the love similar to you guys we were both in a different relationship at the time but ended up together after a couple of years being close friends we started renting our flat together after we graduated however from the excitement of finally getting to live together we collected the keys early from the estate agent and things started getting a little frisky we ended up having sex on the bed with no bed sheets, just straight up raw mattress.

34:51Until mid-act, we heard some keys rattling in the door. Thinking no one would be in, the landlord let himself in and discovered us completely naked. That's so rogue. Naturally he retreated, both him and us apologising in true British fashion. Once we were fully closed, I'd gone out to meet him for the first time. Without thinking, I went for a handshake, to which he politely declined, knowing fully well where my hands had recently been. Oh my god. Through the absolutely whirlwind of life, we were still together five years later, having moved to London with our gorgeous cat Lola and I'm currently writing this the night before I take my partner on a surprise trip to Florence to propose let's freaking go come on Nathan and Rosa let's go Nathan and Rosa you absolute legends listen thank you so much to all you wonderful listeners we adore you we love you we think you're great we just do hey listen tell everyone about the podcast as well they can write and listen messages and we can read them out on the show so if you enjoyed those and you want to send your own message please do at NewlyParentsPodcast on Instagram.

35:49Sign up on DMs. Send us an email. NewlyParents at jampodproductions.co.uk or you can send us a voice note. Okay, the number is in the show description. Everything is in the show description. That's the end of Listeners Messages.

36:03By the way, you remember when we were talking about the man in the walls? I had him the other day. Did you? When you were off on your gallivance, he came... when it was just me, myself and I alone in the house. Terrifying. When was this? Last week. Explain what happened. I was in bed and he went... And I went... I was so tired, I just thought, take me. Honestly. If the man had come out, what would you have done? I would have played dead. I don't have the energy. It's like what I was like at Mighty Hoopla. Like, I didn't have the energy to dance. I just needed to sit. I sat on the grass and every part of me wanted to just dance and give it one.

36:47And I just thought, I can't move. I'm that tired. Sophie went into our nursery the other day. She went into the nursery and she was like rocking Ziggy and like feeding him, trying to get him to sleep. And we have a little music box in the corner of his room. And suddenly the music box just went off. Like, you know, the... Ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding. I would have burnt that thing down. I would have literally thrown it in a fire I'll tell you what actually is really scary is that Ziggy looks in the corner of the room and starts laughing and he does it to certain corners in the room to the point where I have gone into the history of this house trying to work out whether it's haunted you're lying no I'm not and the biggest weirdest thing you know our kitchen we've got like that the coffee station yeah he cracks up every time I make his milk at the shelves and I just know that there's a little man hiding in the shelf peeking out at him he's like like he can't stop laughing and I'm like honestly I get on his level I'm like what is funny it's brown small bone shells what are you laughing at what have you googled about the house trying to work out the history but then I just stopped doing it so you didn't even get there you thought about it but there are two corners of the house that he will stare at and he like will literally be like an owl and like try and do 360 head to get stare back at that corner oh my god that's terrifying and he like starts smiling and like laughing at the corner up in the sky and I'm like what is it?

38:12Our son has seen ghosts. Of course. This house is haunted. We've got the little man in the wall. We've got the music box going off. Ziggy is like laughing at corners of the house. Whole house is haunted. The lights just flickered just then. What would you do if you saw a ghost in Ziggy's room? Like how would you approach the situation? Yeah, leave everyone in there. I feel like Sophie would fight. Yeah, I was unbelievable. The other day Jamie, we were sleeping in different rooms because we needed sleep. I had the monitor. I was doing the nights. Anyway, he comes up to the room I was in and he was like, Sophie, there's somebody in the house.

38:46I was like, what? He was like, there's somebody in the house. And then you said, there's jangling of keys. How quickly did I run out and go to... And you were, what are you doing? I was like, I'm going into my son's mouth. She went upstairs to protect Ziggy straight away. My initial reaction was to be like, how do we get out? How do we climb up? No, you wanted me... No, be honest. You said, I said, well, go and look around the house then, you idiot. and he was like, you've got to come with me. I was like, I'm going to go be with our son. You can go around the house. Ladies and gentlemen, on that note, I think it's time to finish the podcast.

39:19Have a great day. We absolutely love you. Now, if you're becoming parents, good luck. If you're getting engaged. Good luck. If you're getting married. Good luck. If you're having a baby or not having a baby or just enjoying the show, we love you to episode bits. And of course, we're going to see you next week for another episode. If you want to get in touch, please do. Newly Parents Podcast on our Instagram or newlyparents at jampodproductions.co.uk We'll see you next week. Goodbye! We love you, goodbye!

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