Jamie and Sophie's WILD holiday confession

0:03Well, hello, all you lovely people. Hello, you fellow fuckers. Hello, you fellow fuckers. On the menu today, we have a huge baby update. Jamie has skid marks. Yeah, I do. Find out about that. Also, Sophie can't stop calling me a boomer. And of course, we have listeners' messages. Buckle up, baby. Enjoy the episode. It's going to be a bumpy ride. Here we go.

0:32Hi, it's Bloma Faith. My podcast, Mad, Sad and Bad, is back for season four. I'm sitting down with some amazing people, including Letitia Wright. When I'm really fearful of something, I just run towards it. Judy Love. I'm celibate. Out of choice. Yeah, I could get it any day. Grace Campbell. Here we have Anita, who's a dog psychic. Tell Eddie to start barking when I'm... She said you're too noisy. And plenty more. Mad, Sad and Bad with me. Paloma Faye. Listen now wherever you get your podcasts.

1:29covered by insurance. Sessions average$21 with insurance and some pay as little as$0, depending on their plan. There are no subscriptions, no long-term commitments. You just pay per session. Grow connects you with thousands of high-quality, licensed therapists across the U.S., offering both virtual and in-person sessions, nights and weekends. You can search by what matters, like insurance, specialty, identity, or availability, and you can book a therapy session in minutes and begin in as little as two days, not the national 48-day average. See if you could pay as little as$0 for therapy in seconds at growtherapy.com slash ACAST.

2:10That's growtherapy.com slash ACAST. growtherapy.com slash ACAST. Availability and coverage vary by state and insurance plan.

2:25Hello, I'm Jamie Lange. And I'm Sophie Lange. And we've been married for two years. And we're having a baby. Yes, we are. Are you ready? Let's go.

2:39Welcome to episode two of Nearly Parents. Of Nearly Parents. My name is Jamie and this is my wonderful wife Sophie and welcome on our journey. If you're an old listener, you know exactly why you're here. And if you're a new listener, welcome to the freaking past. party baby because there's a baby in her tummy how are you feeling today lady i feel quite rough you do i feel really quite rough yeah i don't feel great today do you feel does it feel like nauseous what does it feel like explain it i don't really feel no it feels like you've really hung over like all the time really hung not all the time like yesterday i felt great so you keep saying to me that you're finding it hard to breathe because the baby is like sitting on your chest the baby is not sitting on my chest okay i am not nine months pregnant that's what jamie things um but i am finding it hard to breathe i can't breathe but this has been like the since the day i got pregnant like i gasped for air i feel like someone's like shoved tissue up my nose like i can't breathe through my nose properly like everything's like my breathing passages are like blocked i don't know what's happening what do you like every time i talk it's like i've forgotten to breathe when i talk so then i have to do a big gasp like when i do a voiceover i'm like when we walk upstairs it's like savey's done a marathon no no it's actually it's too much honey i feel so sorry for you i'm so sorry that you have to go through all this i do feel sorry i do great time over i because i don't have to go through any of this i just sit here and watch you you just sit there i just sit there and just accept that everything's happening and i have no control the no control thing by the way as a you you're never going to experience that but no one has any control like the the mom doesn't have any control yeah but it's the scariest thing ever it is so scary not having any control no because that the thing like you guys don't realize or maybe you do realize is jamie is like a such a control freak yeah baby like i mean more than i would ever know how what do you mean i'm you just are a control freak like you need control over everything i think that's a little porcupine i'm not that bad i don't think but i'm a little bit of a control freak.

4:48But when it comes to this little baby, it's like the hardest thing in the world because I have no control whatsoever. And all I care about is that you're okay. And this baby is okay. And everything is okay. And I can't control any of that. What I can control is the way that I respond to you. This is what I've read. I think I'm being delightful these days. You're being amazing. You are truly, utterly being incredible. I'll tell you what Jamie makes me do guys we go to mallorca god and um jamie makes me hike uh in the midday to the nearest town by the way i just want to let you know that we are going to the town because i am so hungry and there is nowhere to eat no no no let's not get a taxi let's not get an uber let's hike up a mountain in the midday heat a 50 minute walk to this this town it was 40 minute walk 40 minute walk to this town at 2 p.m in Mallorca and then he huffs and he puffs because I'm slow no yes I did not oh come on I was like you I oh my god you I was so close to picking up that like goat poo all over the floor and throwing it in your face you're such a liar as you chomp through so fast by the way if you think he's waiting for me you're all mistaken he is in the town while i am still at the villa trying to lug my limp body so dehydrated so thirsty so hungry so tired so out of breath i'm still there clawing and he's gone and who's he on the phone too i don't know proud lot whoever doesn't even know that i'm literally like help help remember me come on you little bat and you literally just hover around and just like force me to search for ice cream which is this new obsession and i'm sick to death of it okay we went to majorca for sovi's friend's wedding and it was simply beautiful in every it was amazing it was one of the best weddings i've been to me too i mean not for any reason apart from the people were amazing the love was amazing the music was insane the music was like a real thing they had like i mean it sounds really but it was really bougie i mean they just had like a band from start to finish it was like unreal but the vibes also these were like my oldest school friends so it was just really really special it was just it was like the most it was actually the most incredible thing and also i didn't know anyone who was going so i was a bit hesitant right i was a bit like am i gonna enjoy this i had i was one of the boys you felt a little bit um old i didn't feel old you were like daddy vibes like not daddy as in like daddy you were like oh like it's grandpa jamie vibes no i didn't I felt a young buck.

7:34What about when we, on the pool party day or the bow day and Jamie wore boxers underneath your shorts because that's what you do. Because you know, back in the day, that was cool. Clearly like now, the Gen Zs, like that is not the thing to do. They were horrified. So they were like, why are you wearing boxers under your trunks? He was like, oh, is that not what you do? As he had his Supreme, which is like a very trendy brand, rimmed boxers poking out. And then I saw you. Oh my God, you were absolutely, you were a douchebag. I saw you rip those off as quick as a whippet, as quick as those little legs would let you.

8:08You thrust those boxes into my bag. And I thought, surely you just stand your ground and wear them. It doesn't matter. You're nearly 40. I'm not nearly. Sophie keeps rounding my age up. It's like saying. You do. It's like you're saying you're nearly 50. Well, that's not true because I'm 30. So I'm not even nearly 35. You're nearly 40. No, I'm not. Yeah, rounding it up. You round it up. So when I'm 35, you say I'm nearly 40. I haven't told you this as well. It's actually so embarrassing. I'm embarrassed for you. So I was wearing my boxes underneath my swimming trunks. And yeah, it's true. The guys are like, old school, man.

8:40You wear boxes. Old school, man. You wear boxes under swimming trunks. That's cool. And I was like, fuck. No, you were like, because of the rash. Because of like the netting. Into netting itches. And so what I did, I wrapped a towel around me, a flimsy little towel. I took off my swimming trunks and took off my boxes and put them on the ground. And put my swimming trunks back on. saw my boxers they had skid boxes I just knew you were going to say it it's so rank it's so rank and they were there on the ground for everyone to see it's so rank I had two options to either go who the fuck are those that's rank or dive on them like they were some sort of grenade and get them into your bag did you dive on them?

9:25I dove on them like it was a grenade so I had in my gorgeous gorgeous brand new bag that got given to me I had your shit sane boxes in there amongst my makeup and my bikinis and everything. I poo smearing over it. The bag that I'm carrying my food in today had your poo in it. Yeah, you know it, baby. That's just disgusting. I could have got E. coli. No, E. coli. Yeah, you're riddled with it. So that was quite a little adventure. And then I didn't realize lots of little lingo. By the way, I just want to caveat this. I'm young, okay? It's just that your friends are a little bit younger than me. I have a hot, smoking hot young wife.

10:07Oh, cuff me, all right? I am. Cuff me. They're 30. So like, we're actually like you would say we're not that young. We're definitely not Gen Z. What I would say is that you're leaning towards boomer and we're millennials. Fuck. Boomers like the 60s, isn't it? Some of the things you do are very boomer. Like what? um okay number one is the comments that you the captions under your comments or like the tiktok comments so we just basically shared our pregnancy news on social media claps around from everyone no you're too much that's around from the team come on let's go everybody for everyone involved because we all were involved at that moment getting me pregnant yeah yeah everyone it's it was it's like you you know when the king used to marry the queen the his like um servants would come around and watch them conceive afterwards.

10:58Okay, well, that didn't happen in Jampot. That did. It really didn't. All of Jampot team watched us conceive to make sure that it was actually going to happen. Anyway, Jamie wanted to put an essay. I did not. He wanted to put to our little, you know, da-da-da. I was like, no, no, no. I'm collabing on this post. Like, please no. Like, that to me is very boomer. It's like my mum, which is so sweet. She will... I'm not a boomer. My mum will screenshot her friend Sandra's Instagram page, the entire page with, you know, the screenshot. So it's got my mum's battery in it. It's got her signal in it, you know, that.

11:34She will upload that. She won't tag Sandra, but she will say, happy birthday, wonderful Sandra, with her entire Instagram, with all of her feed. So great. With like a text message coming down. With like a text message coming down. And like, I just love it. Like the battery's on 10%. That's up there. And maybe Sandra's head's cut off as well. And she'll say, happy birthday, lovely Sandra. And say her surname, but not Dhaka. My mum posts photos. She posts the same photo twice. And one of them is just half my head. I know, it's me. It's me and her at her 70th. Just body down. Who needs the head? You can see the tips of my hair.

12:15Also what happened on the boat. This very cool boat that we were on. No, I'll tell you what bloody happened. I'm absolutely mortified beyond belief. so I go for a wee and I am taking pregnancy vitamins okay and they make your wee well my wee bright orange it looks like you drank a Barocca yeah it does they must have like loads of vitamin C in them or something anyway so I go for a wee and I open the little door and I'm like Jamie Jamie there's no flush she's like no there's no flush it's on a boat I'm like what so everyone's just gonna pee on top of each other's pee all day long like that's fucking rank but I'm the first one to go to this loo right so it's a clean loo when I go Jamie's like yeah get out so he then goes to a wee on top of my wee he then walks out without flushing it out can't we can't and there's this normal boy you know just like quite cool boy he's waiting and i just hear him then close door chain flush and i'm like i can't the light switch was the flush so i go back in about 10 minutes later whenever i go for a wee and i'm like there must be a flush in here there's a fucking flush and that boy just thought that you and i like i can't i'm mortified.

13:22Honestly, it keeps me up at night. It's disgusting. I'm so embarrassed. He just thinks that you and I just don't flush the loo. It was me, you, then him. And on top of it, you didn't flush either. We went to a supermarket to go and get food. And we were walking back to go and pay for our groceries. And Sophie was walking ahead of me. And there's quite a big you behind us and i know no no we're not even gonna say we're not we're not even gonna say okay so if you're walking ahead of me and i think during pregnancy what happens you have a lot of like things going on at the beginning i've said there's like something happens your bowels and they slow down and you become like really really full you can't really bad fullness fullness basically full air and i was walking so he was walking in front of me and suddenly it was i got stopped dead in my tracks because I walked straight in to what I can only describe.

14:19It was like a room of something awful, link-smelling stuff. And I had like an out-of-body experience because it was so bad. And I went to Sophie. No, no, no. I'll tell you what he did. There was a really actually attractive man who was behind me in the queue and Jamie had like run back to go get a drink. Anyway, so this guy come behind me and I was like, I'm having a really bad time here. Like, I really just need to get out of this queue. I need to get myself to a loo. I'm not in a good way. And lo and behold, Jamie walks past that man to get into the queue to stand by his wife. And he just turns to me out loud and goes, Sophie, did you just fart?

14:55No, the funniest thing about it was, is I went, oh. No, don't do that. It's like, there's no need. Oh, I finally didn't. I went,

15:05Sophie, did you just fart? Okay, look, guys. The man behind, the man behind did a sidestep. out of the way of the show no shut up look the problem is the beginning of the first trimester is a real life thing that no one talks about but something happens with your bowels they're non-existent there's no movement there's no movement if there's no movement you know what's happening like it's not fun for anybody involved it's really not fun and it's really unfair that us women didn't get told about that like there's what? what? what are we meant to do? what just go about our lives like that is it really it's so awful i don't understand why no one talks about that i was like drinking gals like gallons of water gallons of water i'm really sorry that happened yeah it's bad we also we we finished the boat uh at the wedding and i had teed up sophie for so long that i really wanted some ice cream now sophie has got me into ice cream no but guys it's too much now.

16:08I really, I just, I know you're going to think I'm a horrible, crazy bitch, but it's too much because I love ice cream like no one else loves ice cream. But this guy is like salivating over ice cream every day to the point it's giving me the, it's just, it's pissing me off on levels you can't even imagine. Like, let's go for a normal meal. No, no, no. Jamie just wants ice cream. No, no. I had teed it up for ages that all I wanted was just a couple of scoops of ice cream and one of those little tubs. But how many have we already had that week, one every day. And this isn't on holiday. Yeah, get an ice cream every day.

16:39I know that drill. This is let's go out in the pouring rain in London and let's trek 15 minutes to an ice cream shop at 9pm at night. No, I don't want to. You're not five. Eat an apple. No, you old bag. I'm done with it. Every time we go and he goes, do you want one? I'm like, well, yeah, of course I do. But I have some discipline. That's what she said to me. So we got off the boat and I was so excited. There was like this golden ice cream place. And I was like, oh, it's like some sort of amazing mirage. We're walking towards it. And we are literally, I would say, three meters from it. Literally, it's going to take 30 seconds.

17:18I can pick pistachio, maybe a white chocolate. I don't know, maybe a cherry. Going to put it in there. We're off. Sophie said, I don't know why we're doing this. And I went, sorry, what? I'm just going to quickly get some ice cream. And you went, have some discipline. And I went, what do you mean? I just wouldn't. I'd just spoken about it all day i wouldn't mind so i was when you went have some discipline no guys what actually happened was i like i basically was really tired i'd done five hours on this boat which was so fun but i was really tired at this point and i'd slept like very little over the weekend woe is me and let me tell you i was so hungry and all i wanted was a plate of serrano ham and i can't fucking have it and i was just like ah you can have ice cream and i can't have a plate of serrano your hands i was like fuck you with the ice cream and what i knew you would do because sovi can't have her thing three meters away i wasn't yeah but you've done it you've done it you've done it seven days out of seven like can't you just have a break on the last day and then i became a child because so we said look we got on the taxi to go home and i sat there with my arms folded nothing you've ever seen before guys i didn't get my ice cream and soviet literally went don't worry why don't we stop at another place and get some ice cream and i just went it's not the same it's It's not the same anymore.

18:32It doesn't feel the taste of it. I sulked all the way home and then had a bit of tuna on some toast. Another thing we should talk about. That happens. I think this happens. I've spoken to a lot of my male friends about this. When you conceive a baby, it turns out that sex is not on the cards anymore. Sex stops, ladies and gentlemen. It is like your work is done and there is because leading up to having the baby ah it's it's like flowing like gold it's literally everywhere it's like you want to do it on the stairs you want to do it in the bedroom you want it's like great and then suddenly it's like cold turkey it's completely and utterly stops and the thing is is the excuse is I don't want the baby to feel your penis but that's what I really feel it feels weird to me like I feel like in the first few months you're so nervous Anyway, the last thing I want to do is like jiggle anything about with your big old dick.

19:34What I took from that is big. Small old dick. So I spoke to a couple of my friends about this. Actually, we didn't have a conversation. They were just telling me. They said, by the way, just to let you know, sex is off the cards. What, for the whole nine months? They said sex is off the cards. They were like first. Shut up. And I'm not going to sort of say where we are, but because this is what they said. They said sex off the cards. First three months, sex is off the cards. It is just not happening. you repulse your partner second trimester apparently it's on apparently some something hits where you find supposedly you find the partner super sexy and he's like back to having sex loads and it's really great third trimester cold turkey it's off you're not going near them it is like see you later well how's that kind of trimester going for you so far so i think we can to say this we're in our we we've begun our second trimester okay so we're we're just starting it and i'll give you a little feedback guys for the moment nothing there is nothing's changed there's no horniness there's no oh god why do you always have to use the word horniness that's boomer vibes that's boomer energy well you're like you don't need to say i'm feeling horny like that is just like what are you 80 what what do i say you don't have to say anything say less I'm feeling sexually turned on No it's too much I'm feeling sexually attractive towards you You just don't need to say anything But I want to say I'm feeling horny Yeah I know you do I know you fucking want to say it You do say it And I'm like What are you 50?

21:06Do you know what else I found out about Sophie this weekend? This is mad I feel like this story might get me cancelled We all know Sophie's a bit of a wild child If you know Sophie you'll nod your head You'll be like yeah Parents listening will be like, you can't even imagine. And I think you've kind of controlled it a little bit more as you got older, but you're a free will person. Do what you want. You're a maverick girl. Maverick? You're a maverick. I'm a maverick boy. And that's why I love you to bits. So we go to her friend's wedding. They've known her since she was like four years old. Turns out Sophie, when she was about 12 years old.

21:45No, younger. 11. Okay, sorry. When Sophie was 11 years old, she goes to a farm where they have animals and goats and different things like that. Hatton Country World. Hatton Country World in Warwickshire. And she asked the parents to go back to see the guinea pigs because she thinks she sees a lonely guinea pig in there, a baby one, and steals it from the farm. She takes it back and puts it in a hoodie, takes it into the car, holds it in a hoodie, thinks it's dying. No, no, no. Okay, that's just not what happened. That is what happened. you stole a guinea pig from the zoo. Okay, so what happened was, it didn't go to a zoo.

22:22So how does a country world has like, it's got like the goats, it's got the sheep, it's got the pigs. It's probably still around. It's still there and I'm desperate to go back. So you go into this guinea pig world, I think it's called guinea pig world, and there's like hundreds of guinea pigs on the floor. But like, you know, they're like, not in a cage, but they're sort of like weaved out and you can't get to them. Yeah. But you could just easily reach your hand and get to them, obviously. Anyway, This says don't pet the animals as well, I imagine. I think people were stroking them when the guards were looking.

22:54The guards? Or whoever, like the vet people. Vet people? The people who run the show. Anyway. The owners of the farm. I was like desperate. I was like, one more chance to look at the guinea pigs, please. So my friend's mom, lovely Ros, went and sat in her car waiting for us. And me and my friend Alice went and looked again at the guinea pigs. And as Alice turned to the left, I saw this tiny little guinea pig. It was a baby one. and it had been alone and it was getting like chipped up by a big daddy guinea pig, like a big hairy monstrous guinea pig. And I thought, leave it alone. I saw it getting bullied about an hour ago and I was like, it's still there quivering in the corner.

23:30So I put my little hands out and it climbed into them. And I thought - You're such a liar. No, I knew. It did not climb into your hands. I knew it was saying save me. So what I did, I was wearing a gap hoodie, you know, with the slits, like where you put your hand. And I thought, I just looked and I thought, well this is my time i'm gonna sit i'm gonna save this tiny sweet guinea pig and i slipped my little hand in with the guinea pig in it it was so small and this big and look i didn't realize that it should have been stayed with its mom and like obviously now i would never do that because i love animals so much and i thought i will take this guinea pig home and i will sleep with it in my bed and i will grow it up and i will nurse it and i will nurse it and it will be my best friend And anyway, I get into the car.

24:14Alice is none the wiser. I haven't said a single word because I'm thinking part of my brain thought she's probably going to freak out. Anyway, we get in the car and Alice just looks and I show her the little guinea pig. And she's like, Mommy, Sophie's taking a guinea pig. So then, alas, I had to put the guinea pig back. There's so many things I take. The funniest thing as well that you call the slits in the jumper, they're just pockets. Well, they are kind of weird. Like it's a big slit. It's not as pockets. Like, who has a one big joint pocket? Oh, why do I have so many slits in my trousers? No, but they're not, because your hands can meet in the middle.

24:48Like, you could walk around like that if you wanted to, if you wore a hoodie. Excuse me, I'm looking for a shirt. You know the shirt with the slit? No, because you're missing the point. A pocket's like this, with a hole. A hoodie pocket is all the way round, and your hands can touch in the middle. Not always. Well, this gap one was. Okay, all right. So you get to hold both your hands, isn't it? Perfect for having a guinea pig. And it was really happy in there. on that note you're Sally alright Sally Clark what a brilliant little morning it's been it's been a brilliant morning what have we done just loads of things but don't worry it hasn't ended there because as always it's time for listeners messages

25:35I'm Elizabeth Day creator and host of How To Fail where we hear from people like this I think women as they get older become juicier and sexier and more embedded in their truth and who they are. My job, it's so public. And I often think, what gives me the right to judge people? And even... I knew I was obviously doing and I was like, ah, he just thought I was being like really frisky on holiday. He was like, this is great. That's how to fail. Find it wherever you're listening to this. This ad is sponsored by ZocDoc. Hi, it's Danny Pellegrino from Everything Iconic. Have you been putting off that annual doctor's appointment because you don't want to make the call?

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28:35Well, welcome, ladies and gentlemen, to listeners' messages. Okay, I got one, wild stories, from Sophie Haboo. Me and my husband were not having any naughty fun one evening. Kidding. This is not from me. It's not from me. It's from Sophie, though. Me and my husband were having some naughty fun one evening. One thing led to another, and we got our bag of sex toys out. We had a great session, then packed everything up and went to bed. As I lay in bed, I heard a buzzing noise. We were confused at first, but we worked out it was coming from the toy bag. I found the toy, a small pink dildo that was vibrating and I turned it off.

29:11I put it away and got back into bed. A few minutes later, we had the buzzing again. I got the dildo out again and it was vibrating in my hand, even though it was turned off. So I go to take the batteries out. To my shock and horror, there were no batteries in the damn thing. It's not rechargeable or anything. So either I have a haunted dildo or a kinky ghost in the house. That is quite weird. That is really weird. That is pretty weird. But wait, isn't it one of those things that like the button obviously just was broken? No, but it's got batteries in it. I think that it was also a chargeable one and you could do batteries or charge it because otherwise it doesn't make sense.

29:48Okay, I've got one from Anonymous. Around seven years ago when I was a student in London, I went on a double date with my boyfriend at the time. Can't wait. My friend and her boyfriend to a fancy restaurant in Battersea. Oh, bunga bunga. Now, halfway through dinner, my boyfriend gets up to go to the toilet. So I awkwardly sit there with the other two opposite me. Then my friend's boyfriend... You hate it when I do that. I hate it because Jamie literally goes, we walk into someone's house and he'll go, I'm going to go for a shit. You just ditch for that half an hour and I make small talk and then you come out like two pounds lighter.

30:21Okay, right. halfway through dinner my boyfriend gets up to go to the toilet so I awkwardly sit with the other two opposite me then my friend's boyfriend then says he needs to loo too and leaves the table finally my friend gets up to order more drinks at the bar so I thought also I thought no 10 minutes passed and I was curious what had happened to everyone so I went to the single cubicle toilet to see if the boys were still in there yes tell me tell me to my horror I then hear loud bangs on the door and groaning sounds which turns out to be the three of them having a threesome in there to this day it still gives me chills you're fucking joking sorry they just went to the bathroom and had sex with each other and where were they communicating that and why was she not involved in the threesome and why were they doing it in a loop are they still together but you should have dumped that guy immediately that is so rank alright I have one from anonymous so a few years ago me and my boyfriend at the time had been out for drinks with our friends and decided to head back for an early night we got into bed and one thing led to another and we started to get a little frisky I then decide to give him a blowjob About a minute in I hear him loudly and confidently say Ah that's the ticket I burst out laughing With it still in my mouth And start laughing so much I nearly throw up Oh god We did try and get him back But I just couldn't stop laughing So we had to call it a night We actually ended up breaking up not long after that But still to this day if I ever hear this phrase I shudder Ah that's the ticket Oh my god I remember I was in Ibiza and I was standing on the edge of the dance floor and these sort of three probably 50 year old men quite big bald like standing there looking into the crowd of like quite young good looking people and one of them went ah clapped his hands together went ah took in lads oh god that's so right and that and i was like that is literally that's the ticket oh that's the ticket oh god took in lads okay i've got a love story from anonymous give it to me honey i met my husband 15 years ago and we hit it off instantly we were having the best time together we moved into our first house and did all the exciting things couples do in the first a few years of being together.

32:41But it all came to a grinding halt when I had a miscarriage seven years into our relationship. I'm so sorry. Me too. This pregnancy had not been in vain as it made us realize we wanted a baby together. After this, we kept trying to no avail. It put pressure on our relationship with friends and family seemingly all getting pregnant and us being asked when we were going to have children, which hurt a lot. We realized our fertility journey was not going to be as smooth as we first thought. We got married and still no closer to being parents. So we decided to go down the IVF route. Over a year, my body was put through four invasive and heartbreaking rounds, which all failed.

33:20On the last round, we had completely given up. We accepted that having children was not going to be on the cards for us. Our last IVF round was in October 2024. So you wouldn't believe my shock when after about eight long years of us trying i took a pregnancy test in december 2024 and saw two lines it's been a long time coming but we can't wait to meet our baby in august this year i'm so happy for you guys i'm so happy for you come on team let's go biggest congratulations let's go you're gonna have a baby so soon i i do i always want to say this whenever we're talking about baby things and having baby conversations, I always do want to caveat it with, we totally understand how blessed we are.

34:03We're really blessed that we, you were able to conceive and that happened. And we know so many people struggle in that area. So to everyone with this podcast, we hope that if you are struggling or you haven't struggled or whatever, this is just here to hopefully entertain you and make you laugh on whatever journey you're on. So that's what we want to say. We also, honey, our lovely listeners have been sending in their baby name suggestions for us. Oh, hello. So, by the way, if you want to send us some suggestions for the baby name, send it bloody in. Send them. Keep on coming. Okay, so Maddie says, congratulations to both of you, News.

34:40If it's a girl, you should call her Chelsea to remind you of how it all began.

34:48Maddie, that's so good. Okay, that's good. From Angie, baby Haboo has got to be called Habibi. Come on, her baby Her baby From Orla I think you should call him Rory Which is Irish for Red King If it's a boy Or Marigold If it's a girl Because the baby is definitely coming out a little bit ginge

35:16Marigold Marigold, isn't that butter? It's Irish butter, it's delicious Okay, this is from Anonymous Congrats on your news, guys I'm sure producer Ewan would be honoured if you named the baby after him. Yui. King Yui. King Yui. Come on, King Yui. From B, it's Leo Lang or Lara Lang would be so cute. You are going to be such amazing parents wishing you both all the best for your next chapter. Aw. Guys. Thanks, team. As I say, keep sending them in. Our new Instagram and social media accounts, Nearly Parents Podcast. You can also send us an email, nearlyparents at jampopproductions.co.uk everything in the show description.

35:53Send them in. We want voice notes, stories about babies, tips, everything at all. Please send it in. We want to hear from you guys. That's the end of Listener's Messages.

36:05Can I just say, I'm so loving doing this podcast with you. And by the way, oh, we do need to give an update quickly before we get into this bit. An update on our renovation because we were there at the house this morning. You give it to us, honey. Here we go. I'm sick to death of this goddamn renovation. So am I. it's guys we go around i go three times a week the house it looks no different it doesn't look any different it looks no different you can't but the thing is you can't see the floors you can't see the walls you can't i mean there's not a stitch of paint on there but it's going to be done in three weeks time well yeah but it looks so different so i don't know how that's going to happen but it's going to happen for anyone who has done a renovation or doing a renovation or thinking about doing a renovation it is the most stressful thing i've never been this stressed in all my life about something.

36:50Like, it is really quite stressful. It's been a nice ride for me. I know it has, because you've just picked out, like, what door handle you want. I ever talk to mortgage brokers, like, every single other day. Honey, don't be so stereotypical. I could do that too. What's that? But I'd just rather you do it. Do you know what we did, though, which was really special? What? We planted our time capsule. We planted our time capsule, guys. So whoever, in years and years and years and years to come, buys that house off us, if you dig up that garden because if you scroll years and years back and find this podcast and listen to it we left you a little treat in there we left you lots of little treats including actual real treats and candy can sweets in there yes lots of and sophie signed a card and i wrote a letter i wrote letters it's just beautiful and we left photos really lots of photos of us naked so just in case you wanted those we didn't do that but i thought about it um before we close up shop honey I got some old wives tales real or fake for you and by the way just to let everyone know we have loads of updates on something else happening on the renovation we're going to talk about next episode it might involve a nursery we should have by the way told our builders and renovators that we needed a nursery earlier I know I'm really superstitious I just didn't want to we've given them three solid weeks to build a nursery which is exciting I think they've got it okay here we go old wives tales real or fake okay tell me these myths are not based on scientific evidence to let you know and should be taken with a grain of salt okay okay so here's some wives tales you have to tell me if they're real or made up okay if you have heartburn your baby will be born with a full head of hair i think that's real it's real yeah that is much i'm really gonna be good at this game here we have the one have you had heartburn no not a single bit oh we got no love with your hair quite weird a hairy baby coming out that's quite odd isn't it my sister was hairy so hairy my mom had savage hair but okay hair all over well yeah actually she did have hair she had a full head of hair come on give me this you like this don't you yeah if a pregnant woman grows more attractive through her pregnancy she's carrying a boy i really don't know because let me tell you guys it's a glow down it's not a glow up apparently that's real.

39:10Listen, we're not going to tell you what we're having. Yeah. That's a little secret. Maybe at some point we will. Maybe you can guess. Okay. If you eat edamame beans while pregnant, you'll have twins. What? Another baby grows from the other baby if you eat an edamame? False. You're good at these. It's made up. It's made up. Okay, here we go. If you conceive on a full moon when your baby is born, they will keep you up all night crying for the first year. False. It's made up. You know these, honey. Look at me go. When a pregnant woman looks at an animal, her baby will take on a resemblance of that animal.

39:44False. That's real. Shut up. Nobody is saying. When a pregnant woman looks at an animal, her baby will take on the resemblance of that animal. That's not real. Oh my God, don't look at something awful. What, so every animal that I look at from now till when I give birth, the baby's going to have ears like a... Don't look at a hippo. I'm not literally like a don't. Ears like a fox, eyes like a cat. Go and look at those things. Go look at anything feline. I'm happy with that. That's not real. Stay away from like a warthog. That's not real. You're not watching any David Attenborough. Like none of that.

40:19That's not real. It's real. Okay, ready? Last one. Some believe cravings for sweets like chocolate and fruit are a sign of a girl, while cravings for savoury foods like pickles or crisps mean a boy. I think that might be true. It's real. What cravings do you have? Don't say.

40:38All right, listen, you all, you beautiful, wonderful people. Thank you so much for being on this journey with us. It's going to be so exciting. We're really excited. We're just beginning. Remember, if you haven't subscribed to our show already, please do just click the subscribe button. It does absolute wonders. Let us know what you think of the show, good and bad. Send us messages as well. Anything we want to hear from you. Tips, tricks, myths. We love those little myths. Give us some lifestyles. You can slide into our DMs at nearlyparentspodcast on our social media accounts, or nearlyparents at jambrotproductions.co.uk and also remember our vlog is back and out on our YouTube channel.

41:13You just got to click on and type in nearlyparents or the links. Very simple. And of course, we're going to see you next Monday for another episode of Nearly Parents. Until then. If you're getting married. Good luck. If you're having a baby. Just honestly love each other and don't worry about those hormones. They'll settle around. And if you're renovating a house. Oh my God, just hold your breath. And if you're single. And ready to mingle. We love you. Goodbye. See you next week. Goodbye.

41:47I'm Elizabeth Day, creator and host of How To Fail, where we hear from people like this. I think women as they get older become juicier and sexier and more embedded in their truth and who they are. My job, it's so public. And I often think, what gives me the right to judge people? And even... I knew I was obviously doing it and I was like, ah! He just thought I was being like really frisky on holiday. He was like, this is great! That's how to fail. Find it wherever you're listening to this.