Jamie EMBARRASSED himself in Ibiza

0:00All right, here we go. Start your engines because it's a new episode of Newly Parents. We've got a lot to cover today, Pete, so get your fucking engines started. Rum, rum. Get in that car, baby. Jamie ate creamy jalapeno sauce, jalapeno. Jalapeno? Jalapeno. Jalapeno sauce last night. And when I tell you, I can smell it from ground floor to the top floor. It is fucking stinky and you stink. sleeping next to you was like living in a far zone of onion. You're stinky. And do you know what's worse? I hold my son and you've smothered your lips all over him and he stinks of onion. And I'm not okay with it.

0:39In fact, he actually like bit my nose and I was like, ooh, oniony. And it's because you obviously kissed him. It was a delicious yogurty, garlicky dip. It was phenomenal. Don't buy it unless you want to repel everyone. Oh my God, it's so great. And I was chowing it down. But you know when you wake up in the morning and you can taste your breath The only way I can describe it is, you know, when you're at uni or wherever and you're having a Domino's and the garlic dip and you would wake up on a hangover and be like, why did I put that garlic fucking Domino's dip in my mouth? I stink. You can't do anything to take the taste away.

1:14You're stinky, but you're stanker. You're a bit stanker. I'm really not. I literally don't like to eat onion or garlic for that reason. And not because I'm like caring about what I smell like. I really dislike. Like, garlic, I don't mind the aftertaste, but to me, there is nothing worse than the aftertaste of raw onion. What is the... Like, I'm actually... I'm pissed off if I've got spring onion and raw onion and I've got that aftertaste all day. Like, I want to get a tongue scraper and, like, clean my mouth. You want to get it out. What is your worst taste and smell? Give it to me. Well, obviously, like, poo would be out there.

1:51Our son at the moment, and I think we've mentioned it, but when he poos, he poos and it's like, oh my god little ziggy you've just pooed when you take the nappy off hands straight into his shit they're straight in there it's not in his shit but he likes to grab his mail parts which are as you know like covered in poo at this point and it's poo in his fingernails poo in his hands poo is everywhere i actually we just we got back from holiday recently and on in the airport you know like the the changing mats that are in like the public bit of the airport like in the loo the public food so it's like this the sinks are there and then there's just a changing which i don't agree with because like i'm not getting naked in front of you all so why does the baby have to get naked in front of you all yeah it's true when i walk in there and i see that i'm like this is so unfair for him like i don't love it and you're like stop looking at my son anyway i was in the loo and changing him he's done a poo and like i thought please just when i saw it was public i thought please it's so busy just be a nice normal poo like just don't don't do me dirty and boy did he do me dirty it was rolling out of him it just didn't stop coming and like everyone was watching me i was like nappy here nappy there and then someone was like oh my god is this baby ziggy and i was like they didn't say that i swear at this point i looked down and he's just got hat poo all in his hands i'm like holding the wet wax in my teeth and like oh my god hating you hating you why are you hating me because i just thought well you're not doing this are you is that why you came out and you were grumpy i was not grumpy we had a big argument at the airport just a big one and it was over nothing we had a huge argument coming back from i know what it was over what was it it was over the fact that um i've packed up ziggy's suitcase i packed up his travel bag i put all the bottles away hang on hang on and jamie is walking around in a tank top like he's just come out of a shrier and like halfing and puffing shall i pack this shall i pack that And I was like, whoa.

3:49Whoa now. I spent a whole day doing that. So I'm not sure why you're acting like super dad. And like, thank you for doing the 2%. Did you spend a whole day doing it? Yeah, I did. So if you do. I spent at least two hours doing it. You spent two hours packing. Yeah, I did. Don't. And you know what? You better shut your mouth. Anyway, that's what our argument was about. Because then we get in the car. But I don't think it's fair. I don't think the argument is fair. I'll tell you what is unfair. Because I pull my weight. You do and you're great and you're an amazing dad. Thanks very much. Appreciate it.

4:26But what I will say is really irritating is like just use your own brain. Like what's in between your ears. We need to discuss this. We're not even into the episode yet. This is what I don't get. Okay, we're a team, right? Okay. If you were going to... If I hear we're a team one more time. We're a freaking team. You and I. T-E-A-M. What does that spell? You, me, and Ziggy. Exactly. Me, you, and Ziggy. T-E-A-M. You pass me the ball, I pass you the ball. But when I'm packing, do I ask you, Yes. What's this? Is it a nappy or is it a bath mat? I was asking Sophie for help in certain situations. I was like, okay, where do I put this?

5:04Here's a dirty nappy. Do you think we should pack this? No, put it in the bin. No. It was like a fucking riddle. I was like, okay, here we go. I've got this. where should I put it? Why don't you decide if it's good or not? I was like, I was like, um, okay. I don't think it's, I don't think we should pack this. We do need to pack it. Tell me fucking that then. Like, why are you, why are you? Riddle me this, riddle me that. Riddle me this, riddle me that. I want to ask the listeners, I want to ask the ladies, when your husband's doing the 5 % or whatever, and look, I'm going to, you're 50-50 every time, but packing his bag is me.

5:39Like, that's fine. And that's totally fine. You pick up on so many other things, right so the packing the bag you're five percent not as a father and a parent it's completely 50 50 and he's really amazing as a husband that you're one percent no i'm 90 anyway do it down the camera why don't you talk to them what's really annoying talk to them is when your husband is packing up his one percent and he gets up that stupid sun cream that you only will wear that and there's this much left and you go to me, do you think I should pack this? I don't fucking know you're 37. Decide yourself. Love that number.

6:15I've been 37 for about four years. Yeah. Honestly, every single time. I should round it out to 38 now. Yeah. You're 37. That's Sophie's go-to. You're 37. You're 37. Look at you. Can't wait till we get to 40 because the gravitas behind that when I'm like, you're 40 years old. You decide whether you should wear a pink top or a purple top today. In our argument, in our argument in the airport, Sophie was like, you're just 37, you actually give me the ick? And I was like... And my response to her was, well, everyone thought you were boring on the holiday. No, what he said to me, he went, oh, well done for having some chat.

6:49I went, sorry? He went, well, the first time you spoke in two weeks, you didn't have any conversation. I was like, fair. I didn't really. Okay, shall we get into the episode? Yeah. Let's do it. 75 % of women who seek menopause care don't receive it. The lying awake at 3 a.m. wondering what's happening to your body ends now. Midi is virtual care built for women in perimenopause and menopause with clinicians who specialize in women's health. Plus, it's covered by most major insurances. Getting started is easy. You can book your first visit with a clinician right away. Midlife needs Midi. Visit joinmidi.com to book your first visit today.

7:27That's joinMIDI.com. Insurance coverage varies. Check with your plan for coverage. Waiting for your sign? Here it is. Shop Labor Day appliance deals at Lowe's before they're gone. Get up to 45 % off select major appliances. Plus, get free delivery, hallway, installation and parts, and a two-year Lowe's protection plan on purchases of$999 or more. Labor Day deals are on now at Lowe's. In-store and online. Valid through 916. While supplies last, selection varies by location. See Lowe's.com for more details. This message is brought to you by today's sponsor, Walden University. Set a course for change.

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8:42Hello, I'm Jamie Lang. And I'm Sophie Lang. And now, we're newly parents. Oh, yeah, we are, baby. Okay, ladies and gentlemen, we just got back from a holiday in Ibiza and it was glorious in every single way. It was, fuck. It was so nice. Favourite thing about the holiday? Just everything, like being with Ziggy in this, like abroad. It was so amazing. And also we've not, we were so lucky we took two weeks out. I don't think we've done that in like six years. We've like gone for like four day holidays here and there, but we've really never taken any. Two weeks. It's like mad taking two weeks abroad.

9:21Two weeks abroad. The only thing that kept happening is this, and I don't know if anyone else has this on a holiday, is when you're a couple on a holiday and you're having a nice time, and I was just relaxing, right? I haven't relaxed in two years. Every single time that I was slightly getting relaxed, Sophie would be like, you all right? And I'd be like, yeah, I'm just relaxing. You like me to entertain you 24. That isn't true. Honey, you do. If you're not watching Love Island, you want me to entertain you. I could just, I don't even know. My mouth throths talking about it. But no, you, I think you've been a bit tired.

9:54The thing with you is, right, you're so work-orientated, I don't think you know how to relax. So when you're not in a work environment, you're a little bit strange, if I'm completely and utterly honest. Well, describe that to me. It's like a fish out of water. A fish on land. You don't know quite how to behave. Are you kidding? I know exactly how to behave. But then you try to, like, control the holiday, and it's like, well, we should go do this and we should do that. Whereas I'm very nonchalant and I'm very laid back. This is absolute... I don't need to be booking things. I don't need to be sterilising the sites.

10:27I'm just like, c 'est la vie. No, that's not real life. It is. No, it's not. It is if I am living it and it's my real life. Honey, there is no way. So you were just... I was not like a fish out of water. You're a fish out of water. You did really well this holiday, I will say. Describe what I'm like then. Go give it to me. So I'm on holiday. What am I like? Just ants in your pants. Don't really know what's going on. Head's like whirling. You can see it just thinking of something, thinking of something. What am I thinking of? Fuck knows. I really couldn't tell. You probably like about the next podcast.

11:05Then day four, you suddenly really get into it. And then I know when you're enjoying life because you'll start doing the lengths underwater. water so when you know jamie's in his optimal space and he's really thriving in life you'll hear this a lot right i'm gonna do five now and by that i mean he does like wim hof breathing for about 10 minutes and then his little blonde and red body swims underneath the water for four lengths and then he does it until he can get up to five and he's going the whole time sophie are you watching me now and of course i'm not but i pretend i am and then there's a lot of pacing around the pool pace pace pace which is why i've noticed that like from your pecs upwards you're really tanned but this part of your body white because you're always standing i don't think you lie down once and that's when you're really optimal happy and then you'll go into the stage of like five magnums a day five cornettos a day also really happy then week two bosh you think he's nailed it no no what's happened is he's recharged and that's not a good thing because then it's ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring i've got this idea i've got that idea oh my god i think i should be president or prime minister i could run the country and it's like non-stop so that's what i'm like what are you like on holiday just sit chilling fucking chilling out and watch love island the whole time no i don't i do that in ziggy's naps because it's one hour Of course you don't.

12:35You're not doing it when Ziggy's by himself. I make him watch Love Island all day long. No screens for Ziggy. But you sit and you watch Love Island the entire time. Not the entire time, but yes, in his nap. One hour, because it's only one hour. You watch it a lot of the time. I am worried about how much I love Cavlar. Who the frick is Cavlar? And I've told you this. Cavlar? You are so unbothered by me. I have said to you 80 times, oh God, I really fancy Cav. And you literally couldn't give a fuck. I don't care I know but he's a real human like why don't you care I wouldn't want you to actually I do think you probably would really fancy jazz Kath is like this little 21 year old he's so emotionally immature I will say she's 28 he's 21 they're a great couple she's like the fit queen he's like the fit boy they've gone together okay okay follow me I'm following you he then goes off to Casa Moore and he falls to the skull called Charlene who's sweet look Charlene nothing against you you're a lovely girl you're super sweet if you come in earlier I'm sure I'll be rooting for you and him too but i'm not rooting for them like charlene you are lovely but like my heart is with jazz and cav they need to get together and i'm afraid you are in the way i appreciate that cav has made the error by bringing you back to the house and entertaining it and leading you on and i completely appreciate that and you are for sure a lovely girl but this is not your time to be with cav and they need to get together and you're the obstacle that i think should be removed that's my view on it all I can't wait to surprise Cav on the show and bring him on no don't do that because he's turning on he'll be so afraid of me this old woman just like fanciing him but I also want to say like you're all liars if you say that you enjoy watching Love Island because it's fucking crap TV the only reason we like it is because we we fancy one of them in it a little bit otherwise what's the point?

14:21what is the point? am I right or am I right girls? yeah you kind of need to fancy somebody in it to be invested I think otherwise it's a bit long Even if you fancy the girl a bit, you know what I mean? Like, you've got a bit of a crush on... Like, that girl's cool. I like her. You've got to have that. Otherwise, it's just like, eh. Can we also just say what happened in Ibiza? Probably one of the most awkward situations that I've ever experienced. I'm not going to say who it was, but I'm going to say the situation that happened. This has never, ever happened to me. We went to a schwire, and I took me, my little brother, his girlfriend, and my stepmom, Calvin Harris DJing.

14:55We went on Calvin Harris' VIP table. Unbelievable. In the middle of Shua. Unbelievable. It was the greatest thing ever. And on the way there, one of the DJs that was playing before, he was doing his set. And my brother-in-law was like, I love this DJ. He's amazing. He said that he's like the equivalent to my Justin Bieber. Like, he really loves him. It's like one of his lifetime goals is to see him. And I was like, well, I know this DJ. And he's like, what do you mean you know him? And I was like, well, I know him. We follow each other on Instagram. He's messaged me before saying like, hey, nice to meet you, man.

15:25Showed the messages. I was like, dude, I'm going to message him. and say, I'm excited to see you tonight. So I messaged this detail on Instagram, and I say, so excited to see you tonight. Smashing out the park, brother. Anyway, my little brother, who's 21, is also excited. This is a DJ, international DJ. He's really, really excited about it. Anyway, we get there. The guy's done the set. He's finished. We catch the end of it. He's absolutely crushed it. He comes into the VIP section, and he's standing, like, right next to me. And I'm with my brother and his girlfriend. They're Gen Z. I'm trying to impress them.

15:56And I go over to the DJ. I feel sick already. I go over to the DJ. My brother's standing there. I go and go, hey, man, you fucking crushed that set. Also, like, what a thing to say. I went for the high five. And he went, sorry, who are you? And I went. Oh, don't worry. It gets worse. Way worse. And I went, man, it's Jamie. It's Jamie. And he went, sorry, who? and I took my hat and sunglasses off and my brother went, not the hat. My little brother standing there as I took it off, not the hat. I just stood there like this as he looked at me and he went, sorry man, I don't know who you are. And I went, don't worry about it man.

16:42It's fucking crazy. I do think it's weird because he did message you two years ago. He's messaged me. And also follows you on Instagram. You can't really miss you. You're like a little blonde pocket rocket. So I unfollowed him. I unfollowed him. Oh, you showed him. I unfollowed him. You showed him. It was so embarrassing. I can't. Honey, no, it was... It's really embarrassing for him because realistically, even if he doesn't know who you are, surely so many people have come up to him and said, crush that set. That's what you do when you go and see an artist. If you went up to Shanae Twain and went, Shanae Twain.

17:14Who? Shanae Twain and went, crush that set, which I really hope you don't say ever again. What do you mean, crushed it? It's cool. You crushed it. Crushed it, bro. I think Shania would reply and be like, thank you so much. She's not rude enough or arrogant enough to be like, sorry, who are you? A guest who's come and paid tickets to see me perform. So actually, fall on you, an international DJ. Wait, hang on a second. Beginning with an M. Speaking of Shania Twain, have you seen what's cruising about on TikTok? Everyone's saying that you're Shania Twain's guitarist. This is just crazy that's happening.

17:47Gordon Ramsay, Jamie Lange. illiterate son. Why am I illiterate? I don't know. Why am I illiterate? Illegitimate. Illegitimate. You're also illiterate because you are quite illiterate, let's be real. That illegitimate son is Shania Twain's guitarist. Oh, my God. I saw this in social. It's basically just a receding guy with blonde hair playing guitar. and everyone's like that's you I'm like what? the guy's also like 50 he's quite stocky though he's a bit stocky he's a stocky lad yeah yeah he's like me stocky and I reckon he actually talks like that he's a stocky lad he's a stocky lad anywho we had the nicest holiday in the entire world so if he has like a couple of new tics that she does which is quite weird I'm going to have to tell your tics you don't even know you do them right one of them is when one of them is when you we walk into a shop and you're walking it's not a tick it is a tick I choose to do it I know I'm consciously doing it we'll walk into a shop and it's like a sunglasses shop or a restaurant it's like busy and Sophie will do this Sophie will look at me and go yeah no slap her ass I don't go yeah I just go no you don't you go yeah no I don't I never do that that's just not something I do but I do have a tick where I just can't stop slapping my bum and I walk down the street doing it and it's like it is uncontrollable In my head I'm saying stop, stop, stop But it's just the hands going The other one is When she walks into a room and I'm just like Doing something, Sophie will pull a moony at me No, I only do that when you're on Zoom calls On meetings You did it last night You literally go, you bend over No I don't You walk into the bathroom And you bend over and you go, eat it Again, like you're just compulsively lying like you can't last i did not say eat it i didn't also on holiday guys i'm not kidding you i heard a ghost i'm not kidding this is the second time it's happened to me and this is in was the first time was in ibiza i'll tell you the story i stayed in ibiza many many years ago i walked into a bathroom i think i've told this before and i heard someone go Jamie and I looked around and I was like what the hell's that noise I was like hello hello what were you doing in Ibiza that going to the bathroom I was staying at Emily Weller's house and were you partying I was filming Made in Chelsea so lots of drinking there was drinking going on yes maybe you were just a bit tired and hung over and no maybe your chemicals in your brain were just playing tricks on you absolutely not not at all anyway this time I was not drinking I was not partying I was not filming that by that point nothing at all okay we're staying in this villa lovely villa and I walk into the other room Sophie we had two conjoining rooms right and Sophie decided because Ziggy was not sleeping at all that Ziggy was sleeping her bed she would co-sleep with Ziggy I get a bit nervous about co-sleeping with Ziggy because I'm always like even though the bed's big I just don't want to like I'm scared about it right so I go into the other room which is conjoining Sophie's sleeping I kid you not okay I swear to you I swear to you Soph I got into bed I can see you it's all dark in the room I'm about to put my head down on the pillow and I hear Jamie in the same tone same tone and I went Soph yeah Sophie yeah and you didn't respond and i was like what the fuck i was like you're kidding me so then i walk into the bedroom and i say to you what i say to you you were like did you just say jamie and i was like no i'm asleep so then i was terrified so i had to climb into bed with sophie and ziggy and ziggy and i was then lying i was like okay i'm just going to try and sleep here i was lying on my back looking up completely dark and i felt a little hand on my face I swear to you I felt a little hand on my face I thought oh that's cute of Ziggy a little hand and I look over because you can see in the dark and Ziggy is lying on his side next to me next to Sophie there's no way his arms are that long that he could reach across and touch my mouth a little fucking hand out of the dark touched my mouth and I was like this is fucking terrifying but weirdly enough I wasn't like that scared I could sense it was like a happy ghost.

22:22I'm not kidding you, honey. And then you also said you kept seeing people move in the night. No, this is what happened before. In the room we were staying in, I kept seeing shadows, like movement of shadows. And I kept thinking, oh, that's my mind playing tricks on me. But I could see people moving. But I thought nothing of it. Then I heard that this was another night, the Jamie. It was like that, Jamie. That's terrifying. So do you think the ghost follows you? Oh, my God, don't say that. If a ghost gets on the plane with you and comes to Ibiza with you. Or it just comes out of the woodworks. Ghostland in Ibiza.

22:57Honey, I don't know. But I believe it. I do too. It's a little man in the wall going, Jamie. It's not the little man in the wall, but it is absolutely terrifying. And then I was like curling up a bed thinking, oh my God, this is the scariest thing ever. You weren't scared one bit. No, because I don't think there was a ghost in Ibiza. Honey, there was a ghost. For some reason, like, there's only ghosts in England. I don't know what I mean. Like, Ibiza doesn't feel like a ghosty country. So you think that... Like, if that happened in a country house in England, fuck me, I'd be out of there in a second.

23:29But in Ibiza, it's like, obviously not. So you think there are only ghosts... And if there was a ghost in Ibiza, it'd be a nice little holiday ghost. So you think there's only ghosts in the UK? I think England is a very ghosty place. Very Victorian, very eerie. ghost-like. All these houses have a ghost and a story. Ibiza, not so much. What the hell is that? Portugal definitely doesn't have any ghosts, let me tell you. You're talking absolute shit. Dubai, zero. Zero ghosts in Dubai. What do you mean? You know what I mean? No, I have no idea what you mean. Spain, maybe somewhere. Maybe in Madrid, maybe in Barcelona, Paris, maybe.

24:09Where else in the world has ghosts? Stockholm, big time. Ghostly town. Okay. Anyway, back to Ibiza. I saw a ghost in Ibiza. It was sketchy. It was unbelievable. But the trip was fantastic. I just want to quickly talk about that when you go on holiday with a baby, it's like moving house. It's like moving house. Honey is wild. It is. I mean, I just don't. If you don't have kids, you won't understand. But it's just, it's like you're moving house. It's crazy. The thing that's crazy about that is if you're going for a month, you're bringing the same amount of stuff as if you're going for one night.

24:42That's what's crazy. You're bringing that same amount. There's bottles. There's milk. Nappies. There's... Swimming nappies. Swimming nappies. There's... Wet wipes. There's... There's like milk powder stuff. There's more bottles. There's his medicine if he needs it. There's clothes. There's hats. Sophie will buy more clothes out when we're on holiday. It's... You're going with five suitcases. Don't forget the travel car. One of our suitcases weighed 34 kilograms. Full of shite. You know when you get on a flight, right? I'm going to put it out there. And the people in front of you are taking so long to put their stuff in the overhead cabin thing.

25:27And you're really angry behind. Because you just want to get on the flight and sit down. We're now the people holding everyone up. Because I'm trying to fold up that fucking pram. Travel pram. And put it into the overhead thing. And it never fits. and you're like, no, we've got to bring it and then it doesn't fit and then I have to do that awkward thing where you have to like pass it like a parcel down the flight to give to the air steward who then have to put it under the plane. It's crazy. Now, what we have coming up, ladies and gentlemen, is this week we're going to Wimbledon. What are you going to wear to Wimbledon?

25:59I don't know. Well, I do know actually. I think I've managed to find this like vintage George and Gabbana dress which is really nice. It's like cream. What are you going to wear? because Jamie is having a little bit of an identity crisis at the moment. He's gone shopping and I'm going to say it, guys. He's allowed me to dress him for the first time in six years and he looked fucking great. Okay, so what am I going to wear to Wimbledon? Because last time you did me dirty. I never. And we've spoken about this. You did me out too dirty. I'm going to put it out there. They're terrible trousers. Look at a fucking umbrella that I was wearing.

26:29No. An umbrella in this like shit, like mud coloured top. What was going on there? My hair was all over there. You don't know what was going on there. Your hair is all about the cut so the trousers were fine in itself but like did the color wash you out maybe and was the cut a little bit like a bowl cut and now you've got this lovely lovely little that is not short back and size honey it's not it i wish you would go more mullet though i know everyone loved the mullet i actually think you started like a mullet trend in england because i see all of these people sam thompson's got a mullet all of your friends have now got a mullet like everyone's going short on the size and you started that trend and actually it was from me so thank you you're all welcome Okay, listen to me.

27:08So what am I going to wear this year to Wimbledon? I really don't know. I'm going to have to have a look through that. I think I'm going to wear these trousers and a linen shirt. Lovely. Right. So we're going very linen, very safari-esque. Yes, that is what I'm going to wear. I think probably a bit more structured trousers. Unless it's very Brad Pitt of you to wear that with like a tank top. Yeah, that's what I should be doing. And like sandals he'd probably put with it. And I don't really know if that's the vibe you want to go down. Question, are your toes going to be out? I don't know yet. I haven't decided what shoes.

27:38I don't think they are, actually. Sophie Haboo has the longest toes in the world, and we've just discovered it. We haven't just discussed it. I've known it since I was a child. Okay, well, what it is, is your toe next to your big toe is fucking long. They're really long. I think you need to show the camera this. No, I don't want to, because I've not got a pedicure. Like, how on earth are they? No, you've got to show. But did you not see my sister's toes on holiday? Yeah, honey, I know, but who cares about your sister's toes? She's not here. These are your toes. like show how big they are i don't really want to if i'm completely so long it's crazy are they really so long yeah yeah they are um they are quite fingery but i do think there is some kind of myth about if your second toe is long it's like a um creative sexual really good in bed really good in bed really clever really clever really intellectual actually you're a goddess some would say.

28:31No, actually back in the day like the goddesses had long toes. Anyway, your toes are very long. They're gorgeous. We love them. Love you. Anything else you want to add before we go into listeners' messages? No, I think it's desperate times for listeners' messages. Alright. It's time for Listeners' Messages!

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30:49You'll gain hands-on skills to take on real-world challenges and succeed. Your future is waiting, and Walden is here to help you achieve it. Take the first step to make your impact. Visit waldenu.edu. Walden University, set a course for change. Certified to operate by Shev. This is Hannah Berner from Giggly Squad. O-Pill is the first over-the-counter daily birth control pill available in the U.S. Let's be real, getting a birth control prescription is not always easy and it's so much admin. In fact, about a third of women face barriers to access prescription birth control between scheduling appointments, missing work, class, or just trying to exist.

31:27It's a lot. But now Opil is putting birth control in our control. Opil is a daily birth control that's FDA approved, full prescription strength, and estrogen free, and 98 % effective when used as directed. Grab it online or at most major retailers, no prescription or doctor's appointment needed. So if you're thinking about birth control, check out Opil to see if it's right for you. Use code GIGLY for 25 % off your first month of Opil at opill.com. That's code giggly at opill.com. Birth control in your control. We love to see it.

32:03All right, here we go. You ready for listeners' messages? I am ready. Never Have I Ever from Anonymous. Hey guys, it's so good to have the podcast back. My Mondays are officially saved. Thank you very much. I wanted to share a story from my friend's party last weekend where someone suggested we play Never Have I Ever, which I hadn't played in years but actually turned out to be a lot of fun. There was one in particular that I was shocked at how many of my friends drank at. It was never have I ever got revenge on my ex. I didn't drink but it turns out my friend has been intentionally shrinking clothes texting their exes to spoil the book they've just started and one reported him for not having a TV licence.

32:43He got fined£1 ,000. Oh my god. My friend Maisie said she spent hours signing her boyfriend's phone number up to as many online lists as possible so that he eventually had to change his number because of the amount of spam calls he was getting. So I wanted to ask the same question. Never have I ever got revenge on my ex. Go on, honey. Never? Have you? Yeah, you went on Main and Chelsea. What have you done? I've never had to get revenge on my ex. I bet some girls have had some serious revenge on you. You really think so? Oh, yeah. Like what revenge? Cheated on you. It's quite deep. You think so?

33:15You think they've cheated on me? I'm sure girls have tried to get revenge on you for sure. Right? I've never done it. I've never had to get revenge. I've never wanted to get revenge. An ex is an ex for a reason, baby. Yeah, baby. Shut that chapter. Move on. Broom, broom. Start your engines. Check the oil, though. Make sure you check the oil. But that is crazy. I mean, I'd love to know what these exes did to you for you to need to get so much revenge on them. Like, if they'd all cheated on you, then trust me, I'd be getting revenge too. Yeah, I bet you would. Okay, listen, give me your story. Right, I've got a proposal story from anonymous.

33:50Hi, Jamie and Sophie. Love the podcast. My partner and I have been together for six years. I've always made it very clear that if he ever proposed, I didn't want anything public or flashy. One Saturday morning, he suggested we go for a walk to the park where we had our first date. I felt nothing of it. And tied up in leggings, an old jumper, no makeup, and hair that looked like I'd been dragged through a hedge. When we got there, he pulled out two coffees, some pastries and a little envelope. Inside was a letter he had written the day after our first date I had no idea it existed It said he thought that he had just met someone who was going to change his life But he didn't want to say it out loud because it sounded ridiculous after one date He then told me he had written one letter every year since The final letter ended with I still feel exactly the same as I did after that first date Except now I know I was right Then he got down on one knee and proposed It was quiet, private and perfect We spent the rest of the day drinking coffee in the park and calling our families.

34:47It was the easiest yes ever and the wedding prep is coming along nicely. Big love to the both of you and little Ziggy. That is so cute. Congrats guys, I love that. That is so cute. I love love. I love love. Hey, listen to all you freaking legends out there. Keep sending in your messages. I want your worst stories, your best stories. Remember, you can get in touch. Newlyparentspodcast on Instagram. or you can send us an email newlyparents at jamberproductions.co.uk everything is in show description that's the end of listeners messages I've got a question for you you big you big bird alright big bird if you could have dinner at a certain time what time would you have dinner truthfully 6 p.m.

35:40yeah and in bed by what time well now 8.30 so I can watch Love Island at night summer I'm a little bit of a different character winter I'm talking I'd have dinner at 4pm yeah I really would and I would be happily in bed at 7pm in winter summer you would do it at 4pm summer I'm going to be real with you I'm up for having dinner at 8pm in summer get out of you crazy cat and also if I'm talking about going to a restaurant I'm talking 8.39 like I'm not when the hell have you been to a restaurant at 8.39 No, no, no, no. You're really cramping my sardine. Because I do do that. And I would never not.

36:18That's the truth of it. I married you. When have you ever booked dinner for nine? Well, before I was married to you, you're Scotsman. I am European. Scotsman? I am European. And I go for dinner. When I grew up, I told you I used to have dinner at 9pm every single night. And when I'm abroad, I had dinner at 10pm. And you didn't believe me. You called my dad and he said it was true. Like, that is the way I've been brought up. so don't come at me with your English ways. I think in the UK most people would have dinner. At eight. I think earlier. Guys, what time would you have dinner? I'm with Sophie.

36:48I'm a bit of a European girlie so I'm like 9pm in summer. Yeah. 9pm? Ow! You're not going for a restaurant and booking at 6pm in summer. Like, that's lame. Alright, well listen. Our show is called Newly Parents. We need to give a Newly Parents update on Ziggy. Oh my God. He loves to give me kisses. And those kisses, I mean, pal, him eating my whole face and I love every second of it. It's amazing how, like, he's changed. He's become, like, a real human. Not that he wasn't before, but he's, like, he does this amazing thing now where he reaches out for Sophie. He reaches out for you guys. And it's the most beautiful, gorgeous thing in the world.

37:26I think this stage is definitely the most rewarding. I think every stage and every parent says this. Like, you can't ever say a stage that's better because they're all amazing. like I miss the newborn stage but this stage I love like every stage I get I'm like this is my favourite stage but this really is my favourite stage because it's so rewarding like he laughs at me he smiles at me he is happy when I walk in a room like he reaches for me and that is like your heart can't even cope and guys I'm going to put it out there he went to bed last night 7pm he stayed asleep until around 5-6pm we had a whole 5-6pm 5-6am 5-6am We had a whole night.

38:07It is our first full night of sleep. Seven months old. Seven months old that we've had. We're sleeping now for a good seven hours. We are back, baby. Guys, let me tell you, sleep deprivation equals, like, no personality. Zero personality. That's the only way you can say it. It's like, try and, like, live your life with no sleep. Like, you're just boring. And it's no one's fault other than you're just being a parent. I don't think people talk about this enough. you lose yourself in the first year of having a baby no it's it's very different to people who have a lot of my friends babies sleep and they that i do think if you've got a bad sleeper not that ziggy's a bad sleeper look he's seven months old he's doing so well but a lot of my friends babies have slept from three months but look then you've got my sister who's got nearly a two-year-old and still doesn't sleep so every baby's different but i think it is a different experience when you've got a baby that sleeps really well and a baby that doesn't you lose your personality you lose your identity in the first year.

39:02My USP, my unique selling point was the fact that I was energetic and maybe a little bit funny at times. That fucking went. That was out the window. I think this is the first... When? It's still gone. Joking! But this is the first week where it's maybe slightly coming back. I feel a bit more normal this week. Me too. Listen, we have a little segment at the end of our show which we like to call Newly Founded. It's where we come across businesses, toys, tricks, tips, parents, families, friends, people that we've just founded that we want to shout out on the podcast it's called newly founded so we put something out on socials right and so many people engage with it you you guys who listen to us every week we love you we absolutely love you this is it from this week it's from jess she says hi jamie sophie the parenting hack that absolutely saved our sleep was getting a white noise machine our baby would fall asleep perfectly but woke up at every door closing or floorboard creaking we started using a white noise machine at bedtime and it's been absolutely game changing the only downside is that my husband said the sound remindment of the ring.

40:02And now whenever he's away for work, I freak myself out thinking the girl from the ring is going to be coming out of my bedside lamp. Jess, we absolutely love it. Truth be told, we actually have a white noise machine already. We do. But it is a game changer. And now I can't sleep without having white noise. I'm onto the thunder and lightning at the moment. Little raindrops. No, it sounds like a fire crackling or popcorn. Oh, it's divine. So, if you have a parenting product If you know someone who has a new business, if you have a hack or a recommendation that's made your life easier, if you have a friend or a neighbor who's told you something that you think we should know, or you just want to shout out someone that you think is great, who has a product, who's done something that's awesome, that would help us, we want to hear from you.

40:47You can send them in to newlyparents at jamppoproductions.co.uk or you can slide into our DMs at newlyparentspodcast on socials. We would love to feature you in future episodes. You can voice notice as well. We have a number that's in the show description. And you might just help another newly parent discover their next game changer. Hey, listen, before we go, I do want to say one thing. If we were going to think about doing another tour, another live show. I know you look over there. Maybe we won't do it, but maybe we will. Would you guys be excited for that? To come see us live. And if we are going to do it, I want to go big with it.

41:26I want to do it like at the top of the shard. I'm not even kidding. So can you let us know in our comments, on our Instagram, wherever you're watching or listening to this, would you like to see Sophie and I do a live show? Because I've got something planned, and I'd love to do it. I've really wanted to get into magic. I'm going to make a magic show, and you're going to be my assistant. I'll be the rabbit. It's not going to be a magic show. Anyway, if you'd like to see that, please let us know as well. Okay, and before we end the show, we'd like to do a little bit of story time where we send our listeners into a little bit of a slumber.

41:58Ah, rat-a-tat-tat. Said the man with the hat. The man took his hat off. Hello, hello, hello. Okay, we're going to talk about a little lassie named Sophie who had the longest toes in the world. There once was a little lass called Sophie who lived in a far, far away town. Called Quim. And Quim... And Quim was a town where there was lots and lots of people who like to swim. They like to swim. In Quim. They like to swim in Quim. They love to swim in Sophie's Quim. And what no one knew is that Sophie had a big Quim. It fit boats and all. Everyone in Quim loved to swim in the local pool and the pool owner was called Mr Hatchell.

42:50Now listen, what Mr Quim liked most... No, he lived in Quim. What Mr Hatchell liked most was his little lass that he named Sophie. She was locked away in a tower because a lass, the lass named Sophie, had the longest toes in all of Quimland. And what turned out is that Mr Hatchell was a wicked, weird, wicked, wicked man. And he kept this little lassie called Sophie in the tower. But one day, one day there came a prince. His name was Jamie. And Jamie always... Got to the bottom of the tower and said, Sophie, lassie! Throw down your long toes. And alas, Sophie layered one toe by another toe and he climbed those toes one foot by each foot.

43:35He got to the top and there was Mr Hatchell. No, Mr Hatchell. And Mr Hatchell was holding Sophie. By her toes. By her toes. And he had a big sickle with him. And he said, Jamie, if you come one step closer, I'll chop her toes off. One by one. But Jamie was quicker than Mr Hatchell. He grabbed Mr Hatchell and threw him out of the window, right down into his swimming pool. And all the people from Quim came and cheered. And they all ran up to Sophie and Jamie and said, Sophie, thank God for your long, long toes. And Prince Jamie lay on Sophie's toes and she walked him around as though it was a horse and carriage.

44:19And they travelled the country far and wide and he just rode on her toes. And people from all over the land and all over the world came to see the people of Quim. And that, my friend, is the end of your gorgeous story. That is, and please keep this in, the most random, hectic story. I feel a bit like I've lost the plot after that. Listen, everybody, that is the end of the show. I hope you're not too confused, because we are. If you enjoyed it, let us know, and of course, come back. But always remember, if you're getting married... Good luck! If you're getting engaged... Good luck! If you're getting divorced.

44:54Good luck. If you're having a baby. Good luck. If you're not having a baby and you're just living life. Good luck. And we'll see you next week for another episode of... Good luck. We love you. Goodbye. Newly parents. See you then. Goodbye. Salute you.

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46:00And plain water isn't always the most efficient way to restore the balance. That's where Liquid IV comes in. Its science-backed formula is clinically proven to hydrate faster than water alone. Whether you're exercising, playing outside, or simply surviving a summer heat wave, it's an easy way to stay hydrated. Shop now at liquidiv.com. Liquid IV, hydration that goes wherever life takes you. Hey, it's Paige DeSorbo from Giggly Squad, and this episode is supported by Rothy's, the brand famous for chic, comfortable flats. My listeners know I love to start an outfit with the shoes, and there's nothing better than a great flat in the fall.

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47:13Cologuard Plus is a non-invasive at-home collection kit that requires no prep, can be completed in about 15 minutes, and is 95 % effective. If you've been putting it off, you're not alone. But timely screening matters. Let's talk about what isn't talked about. Talk to your provider or request Cologuard Plus online, Rx only. This is Hannah Berner from Giggly Squad. O-Pill is the first over-the-counter daily birth control pill available in the U.S. let's be real getting a birth control prescription is not always easy and it's so much admin in fact about a third of women face barriers to access prescription birth control between scheduling appointments missing work class or just trying to exist it's a lot but now opil is putting birth control in our control opil is a daily birth control that's fda approved full prescription strength and estrogen free and 98 effective when used as directed grab it online or at most major retailers no prescription or doctor's appointment needed so if you're thinking about birth control check out opill to see if it's right for you use code giggly for 25 off your first month of opill at opill.com that's code giggly at opill.com birth control in your control we love to see it