Jamie's gone MISSING!?

0:00Listen everyone, if you are watching this on YouTube, I am currently wearing my dinosaur pyjamas with my face mask on my face. But why? Eye mask on my face. Why? Because you find them icky. And so I want to pursue that ickness and wear them. Not that men shouldn't wear pyjamas. If you wear pyjamas, that's so sweet and I have nothing against it. I don't think that's an ick. But I think it's kind of a bit sexy that men are always naked or in their boxers. That's what you used to do. then you you didn't just go to like the pajamas or like the trackies you went straight into fucking dinosaur pajamas you bought these for me i didn't we got gifted them and actually you have worn them since december the third i am over it you can't be over it that's why i'm wearing them i'm boycotting you by the way i'm gonna tell you something you're really not gonna like this it's bad luck to wear christmas pajamas all year round it's not christmas they're christmas they got oh my god they got a christmas tree is it bad luck guys admit it no it's not bad it's bad i'm so sorry i'm so sorry i'm so sorry i'm sorry for you i'm actually sorry for you a black bird is flying over you it's bad luck i saw you walk under a ladder you little sass listen i didn't and when you wear that i fear that you've not brushed your teeth either like you just look dirty because i've brushed my teeth i've showered i've shaved you've not showered i have showered i did i showered i went and showered and then got out the shower and put them back on okay so what and you're going to wear them to your next meeting i don't know maybe if you're there and why are you wearing these smelly smelly eye masks with your like blonde tiny fringe poking through what is can you tell me what is wrong with these pajamas so if you said me a message this morning i posted myself on instagram and she sent me a message this morning on instagram not even a text message saying these are giving me the ick you're giving me the ick and then you came downstairs and said you're giving me the ick you're to instagram it's like you know the selfies of you it's just boomer like it's just it gives me the ick it's not boomer it's like when he does a photo like this in a selfie and he goes like that i'm smiling and the thumbs like bending backwards like you're like it's honey it's not the caption is like anyone thought about crunchy nut cornflakes with cold milk on a monday morning like why are you doing that no we're not not that people we are not those people and i'm not you're a boomer i'm not you're a boomer i am because i'm married to fucking you you bring me down you're a boomer i'm not a boomer you bring me below boomer like you're like what's before boomer that's what you are it's not boomer it's like when your sweet sweet grandparents or parents will you know it's not that send you a photo of them eating dinner in france and it's just off their face like the food in france is good no it's that's you it's not boomer i'm telling you it's not boomer okay the problem with being like gen z which you are is that i'm not gen z i'm a millennial i think you you're more gen z than you're millennial you are no i'm millennial that is so you can't say things like that you have to come out i'm so embarrassed the fuck is going on no no no i'm embarrassed for you i'm embarrassed for you i'm actually hold on let me hear what the listeners are saying yeah they're embarrassed for you i'm embarrassed for you because i'm not gen z i am i'm millennial i'm 30 boomer yeah i am boomer but you're like boomer on crack you wear a dressing gown at night and a nightie to the floor and a nightie to the floor you're a boomer okay you try and be way too cool right you try and be too cool to the extent that you don't do anything or say anything i don't want to there's no part of me that wants to take a photo of me when i want to hear from me i couldn't give a crap Listen boycotter I'm not boycotter I don't even know What that word means It means like I'm the boycotter Because I'm wearing The pyjamas Because I'm refusing To take them off Just because you think They're icky Because actually What's going to happen At some point You're going to think They're sexy No I really You will think They're sexy at some point So I'm going to be Wearing them the entire time And also anyone Who's watching on YouTube Or if you're listening To this right now Go onto our YouTube Have a quick look Let us know in the comments If you think these are icky Or they're fucking cool Because I think they're cool Should we begin the episode?

4:11Let's welcome everyone on back into the house of newly parents hello i'm jamie lang and i'm sophie lang and now we're newly parents oh yeah we are baby

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5:52It's a cheat sheet to the season, and I'm obsessed with it all. Shop Abercrombie in the app, online, and in stores. Hello, everybody. Welcome back to Newly Parents. Yay! all right all right all right can you at least take the eye mask off okay i can take the eye mask off here we go the eye mask is coming off there we go is that better yeah i needed to i need to tell you something by the way because it was it was actually so funny and you don't know it actually you know we've been very ill this week we've been really really ill like we have we've been really unwell like to the point where our stomach's been absolutely horrendous i was in the worst way possible.

6:35Like, I was on death's door. So if he was at home being like, I don't feel too good either. And I was like, no, this is really, really bad. I went to do my radio show on Radio 1 and my producer had the phone. He said, your wife has just messaged you. I think she's in trouble. And your text message, WhatsApp popped on the screen and it said, I'm shitting my brains out.

7:06no i don't believe it for a minute i have the message i don't believe that he saw i have the message i don't believe he saw that he did he went by the way i think your wife leecher that's when i had to come home remember i said i can't do this show she's not well i'm not well she's looking after the baby that's why i came back oh god it's good yeah we haven't been well at all how are you feeling now about it i feel fine like i feel absolutely fine but i'm actually ill no jamie you always i've never met someone i don't want to talk about shit and i don't want to spend we don't have to talk about that we've now passed it i will say that you have you you shit in the middle of the night you shit in the morning you shit in the evening like there's no time you don't shit so i don't know what the difference is honey this is bad i've been i've had some sort of like really bad issue with my stomach like this has not been good i know why it is why because every single night you eat like a whole bag of white and dark chocolate frozen blueberries like it's that's not the reason it's like so much fiber and like so much chocolate and like then you mix it in with great nuts and they're fibrous and then you mix it with crunchy nut and that's fibrous then you put dairy on top of it you're dairy intolerant then you put your rancid like sugar-free jelly which also is like a laxative in itself because it's got so much candor out of it honey that's not true i've been i'm sick like you're not well i went on the train i went on the train i had to sleep i had to go and do a talk right in newcastle in the hotel room i was shivering in the bed hot cold hot cold throughout the night i was not well and i get zero sympathy from you i that's all i'm asking for is a tiny little bit of sympathy all right well i'm so sorry and then poor ziggy poor little baby being newly parents right our poor little baby was sick as well i think all parents can relate to this there's a moment in the night where your baby like starts to stir and on the monitor you hear it and you have this sort of like passive aggressive sort of like moment between each other where sophie will be like shall i go and get him and i go no no honey don't worry i'll get him hoping that the other person goes but i have dealt with his diarrhea single-handedly you haven't dealt with that oh yeah I have I've dealt with the hands in the balls grabbing the willy diarrhea all over his hands then it's in the hair then it's on my head then it's in my mouth and it's everywhere like it's it's like poo's everywhere no no no poo was everywhere this morning you why can't you just do one nappy without having to come and wake me up like you had already woken up your eyes were awake and you were taking the initiative and I'm so grateful and when I heard you go i heard it i thought for fuck's sake i knew it i knew he pooed and i just waited i literally waited there with my eyes open thinking he's gonna walk in any minute and be like he's done what do i do so out i come i go i clean up all the poo no because you you need a double whammy like you still stand there you don't go back to bed and at that point i'm thinking just one of you us go back to bed we don't need to both be doing it so you stand watching me do it and i'm like this is so fucking pointless at least go and get 10 more seconds of sleep and then obviously I then went and changed Ziggy again and then he pooped again and I don't know how it happened but I honestly I took off his nappy and lifted up his legs and it was like a jet that came out onto my hand it was like a water hose onto my hand terrible anyway listen the great thing is it's all part of the parenting journey and you know I love it I'm not I'm not even I love it it's it's weird right I used to wake up at like six in the morning six thirty in the morning be really like tired like here we go on with the day let's go now we're waking up at four thirty and I'm waking up with beans in my bonnet ready to freaking rumble I know it's so exciting when you wake up but the thing is it's not so exciting at like two a.m when they wake you up yeah but when but when he sort of stirs like that and then you go up into his room and he smiles oh my god yeah it's so cute it's unbelievable it's so cute i i like every stage is amazing but i do think this stage is just my favorite yeah so okay so tell me your week so you're feeling much better now i feel fantastic a little bit tired yeah do with a coffee you've already had a coffee this morning could do with another one that was at 4am so you were down another coffee you'd go for it i would absolutely down another coffee look at that there she goes i just need one coffee i would love one go on just yeah i don't know how to wear that machine do you actually want me to get i actually would love a coffee yeah i've got something to ask you by the way okay if it's about poo i'm out it's not don't worry don't you worry if i went missing how would you describe me to the police okay so here we go we're going to role play this out okay all right here we go we're going to role play this out um hello hey madam how are you what seems to be the problem okay so my husband jamie lang yeah Yep, how do I spell that?

12:03L-A-I-N-G, but he pronounces it Lang and everyone thinks he's called Jamie Lang. And he has appeared on all sorts of weird and wonderful TV shows. Like what? What's he appeared on? Pimtrust, Pinpoint, Dropping Pin. You mean... Millionaires, Who Wants to Be a Millionaire, The Chase. Wait, you mean... Wait, sorry, you mean the... What is that? Some will call him a celebrity. Dropping Point. What is that TV show on ITV? Tipping Point. Tipping Point. tipping point he's won it a couple times um he was on made in chelsea blonde boy short very very short blonde but also ginger very very short wears a cuban heel gone missing how would you describe me lanky lanky lanky guys people think i'm six foot tall hang on wait hold on i start don't jump across it just quickly can't the coffees in me hey just tell me that's how you would describe me to the police yes very short so hang on so madam so describe him describe his features go okay um long face long face yeah lovely little smile looks a bit like homer simpson but not a cartoon sweet little green eyes um lovely eyebrows you are little a little tattoo Do you want him called little or something small?

13:25Little mouth. Little mouth and little eyes. Big hands, big feet, big cock.

13:37Little but doesn't look little. I always say this about you. Like you're so short, but you actually don't appear short. Like some men are like, oh, they're a tiny, tiny man. I'm not also that short. Honey. Honey, I'm not. What is this, darling? I love it. you are i'm really not so short but you're not petite that's the difference you're like a big strong man but you're a short short man no the average the average height in the uk is around or i think the average height in general is about five eight and a half i'm five nine i'm above average my love my love my love jamie i'm gonna set the record straight because look i would happily let people think i am five nine okay great tall gorgeous lovely people think i am six foot tall and a fucking giant because i'm taller than you i am five foot seven and i'm taller than you which means you are probably five six and three quarters and there's nothing wrong with that okay anything else you want to describe your husband as before we go looking for him no because it's just appearance that's all i've given you what about the way that he walks anything in the way that he walks his gate flat-footed gorgeous walk but like so flat-footed in a nice way flat-footed and just quickly what would he masculine walk and what would he be wearing anything that he'd be wearing i will tell you that exactly he will be wearing izzy miyaki like striped trousers baggy common project white trainers white top and a green candy cap and that is for certain on whatever day he has been gone missing he will be wearing that exact outfit for sure are you sure he'll be wearing that yes okay great is he going to be holding anything or got anything his phone looking down holding his phone talking really loudly on it right we'll go and search for him thanks very much how would you describe me okay you ready so come just show them a picture of an afghan hand oh i'm so afghan the afghan hand on its two legs though i would say i would say look for someone she's a very long neck such a long man really long neck longest neck long neck i would say like everything's quite lanky but she's not that lanky you're not tall but you're lanky i am tall you're not tall you're five eight if you're lucky that's not tall that's tall no i six foot is tall six one is tall six two is tall i i'm a tall lady no jamie look up what a model is i am they're about five eight five nine uh five eleven maybe i would say five eleven i'm tall what are you okay this is like the time that You said you were blonde and you're not.

16:12I am blonde. No, you've dyed it blonde. No, if you go to the hairdresser, if you call up Alexi now, text Alexi at our hairdresser and say what colour is Sophie's natural roots. Dark brown. He would say dark blonde. I've asked him 800 times. He's like, you're a dark blonde. I don't know what to tell you. Your eyebrows are black, but your hair is dark blonde. You're ginger. We've established that. All right, listen, that's how I describe it. I would say you're lanky, but I also say you're very beautiful. and what would she be wearing? She'll probably be wearing like you'd be wearing some denim jeans or maybe some denim jean shorts.

16:47You know nothing about me. I know. I just realised that as I was doing it. You only see me at bedtime in my dressing gown. You're never with me in the day. You haven't got a clue. Hey ladies and gentlemen, we're very excited. We're about to go on holiday for two whole weeks to Ibiza. It's the first time we've ever done this. We've never been on a holiday. The longest holiday we've ever done, which is like so far, was a week, which was in Ziggy Bay. That was the first one in six years we've ever done a week. Other than that, we've done like three, four days. And I was broken because I was... And you were like in bed, just like dying.

17:19And I had dinner on my own every night. And it was so nice. So this is our first two-week holiday together with our son. And I bought Ziggy like these blow-up things to go in the pool. I just can't wait for it. I just can't wait. And like, I'm going to just drive around the island. And we're just going to have the best time. I'm honestly so excited. And then we've got a wedding first. We're flying to Mallorca first. We've got our friend Emily Blackwell's and Jordan's wedding, which I'm so excited for. Yeah. And we're going to meet Ruby and Melissa. We're all going to go for dinner. We're going to meet Ruby's fiance.

17:50Honey, here we freaking go. I'm going to try on Ruby's massive rock. You really? I tried it on yesterday and I was like, to mine. No. Are you serious? I was like, throw it away. What? I'm kidding. Can we also just establish this, by the way? you know we had the whole episode where Sophie lost her engagement ring gone can't find it anywhere we found it no no no no no no we have not found it we have my engagement ring is that one the wedding band is one that's still lost I said to Sophie you're not really upset that you've lost the wedding band Sophie's response was I bought my own wedding band because you you said I'm not buying you another ring which is so fair look I'm not I'm not gonna be a school brat like my engagement was so nice and I was like I want a diamond wedding band you like well fucking buy it for yourself i was like all right and you didn't know you don't like it and then i don't like it it's quite like tacky so i'm like it's gone and it is upsetting but it will turn up well the little man in the corner's got it where do you think it's going to turn up i don't know it has gone missing and someone has taken it and i have to be totally and utterly honest i'm going to be totally honest with you you lose a lot of things there's a lot of things that go missing no i share i'm going to be really honest with you i think there must be a name for people like me and a name for people like you okay give it me yeah i share my stuff with anyone like i have packed up five bags of clothes for my friend who's pregnant right she's not even asked for it she wanted to borrow a dress for a wedding i i went through my whole wardrobe i got every part james was like why are you doing that like what i like to give all my stuff to everyone you want it take it nicolette my makeup artist all my shoes she's got them yeah couldn't give a crap if i lose a jacket i'm gonna be upset for one second i know people are gonna look at this and be like she needs to have more pride in her stuff and like maybe it's a bit spoiled but i just am not that materialistic like i think oh it's a bit of denim like what am i gonna do love that what am i like you are fucking mental you are mental there is a a top from m &s and you will not stop talking about it for weeks it's gone to the dry cleaners and the dry cleaners not you know sometimes you get the clothes back from the dry cleaners and one piece is missing whatever you know like something's gone missing it's relentless he's going through everyone oh i bet this person moved it oh well everyone's moved it he's taken his whole wardrobe apart i'm like it's literally 10 quid from mns i'll buy you another fucking white top tomorrow you've got another 15 in your cupboard it's like nothing i've ever heard of i know i get so upset when my stuff goes missing so upset i don't i don't like it like i get it if it's a nice thing but it's like over everything like a fork yeah i'm sentimental 50 years like if it's if i've thrown it away like you're like it's the most upsetting thing for you i get sentimental about stuff like that that's why i don't like it when it goes missing i get very upset question for you when we're on holiday Okay.

20:50What games are we going to play? Because we've got to play some games together. With Ziggy. Well, we don't have to play. Ziggy will probably be sleeping. But you and I have to keep ourselves entertained. And I love to play Uno. You do? That's the only game I like to play. When was the last time you played Uno? Yesterday morning. With who? Willis and Nicola. No, you didn't. I shit you not. I've got photos of it. Whilst you guys are waiting for us to stand here, we do a quick five minute game of Uno just to start the day. You're going to play Uno with me? I love Uno. It's the only game I like. Before we go into listeners' messages, my heartburn is absolutely rife.

21:22I miss it through the roof. I don't understand how stomach issues can collate to having really bad heartburn. Sophie's heartburn is so bad that she wanted me to put nappy cream on her chest. No, I wanted to like swallow it. Because on the nappy cream I use, it says calming nappy cream. And I just think anything to calm this far burning in my chest. How bad is it at the moment? It's gone now. Surprisingly, the coffee sort of helped a bit. When I woke up, it was just like one side. It was like I'd swallowed just like a piece of like a matchstick and it would lit in my chest or my esophagus. Oh, just on one side?

21:56Just one side. Like, you know, and it's just like there. Yeah. Also, just want to put it out there. What episode are we on at the moment, Magda? This is episode 11. This is episode 11. So we've been doing this 10 weeks. Honey, you are back. I do feel a little bit more normal. I will say that. Can you talk me through what you feel postpartum and everything that you go through? Because I don't think anyone ever talks about this. Look, it's TMI and we don't, like, look, it's just like, you're not going to like to hear it. But like, I reckon I'm on my third or fourth period since having Ziggy. I've had it now and I feel like hormones are getting back to normal.

22:29But explain that for someone who doesn't listen, because I don't get weird. So like after you give birth, you don't have a period. Like typically you don't have it till you stop breastfeeding. And then even then it can be like six months or whatever. Like your body's just basically getting back to normal. And each period, like your hormones are just all over the place. and I'm sure my hormones, I think you're still postpartum for two years. Like your hormones are still crazy. But I, every period I have, after it, I feel a little bit more normal hormonally. Because it was foggy for a while. Like what did you feel like?

23:00Like there was oil in my eyes 24 seven. Like that is the only way to describe it. I felt like there was just oil. Like I just wanted to rub my eyes. I was like. So blurry vision. Blurry vision. Very strange. Anxious? maybe not when I was like with Ziggy, but socially a bit awkward, maybe. Like a bit like, how do I speak? I don't know. Like very odd. And do you think that - High alert. Anyone dropped anything. I was like, like it was weird. Like I'd be walking down the street and a man would cough and I'd be like, like so strange. Basically your adrenaline is through the roof. I was just strange.

23:36And like, I really couldn't see. I definitely thought I needed glasses. Didn't have a thought in my head. It was just air. Like if you ask me a question, but it was also like constant. thoughts of it's icky okay but like also if you asked me a question it was like so there was zero thoughts you'd be like do you want what do you want for lunch today i'd be like i couldn't tell you there's nothing would come to the forefront of my mind but you're now feeling better yeah i'm back you are back sister okay it's time for listeners messages

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27:19I have a dating story and it says this. Ah. Hello, Jamie and Sophie, long-time listener, first-time writer. I have a story that makes me physically cringe whenever I think about it. At university, I started dating a girl who was way posher than me. She spoke properly, came from a nice family, and just carried herself differently. Eventually, she invited me to meet her family for the first time, which happened to be her dad's birthday. So not only was I meeting her parents, but her entire extended family too. For some reason, I convinced myself they'd all judge me for the way I spoke. Instead of being myself, I spent the entire evening putting on a ridiculously posh voice.

27:57Oh god. No, I'm so upset for you. I was over-pronouncing words, speaking far more formally than normal, and even referring to mum and dad as mother and father. Something I'd never done before or since. The worst part was that once I started, I couldn't stop. Once I started, I couldn't stop. Every conversation made it harder to drop the act. So I kept doubling down all night. Worst bit, they weren't even posh.

28:32I spent the entire evening talking differently to a completely normal family for absolutely no reason. Surely the girlfriend was like, is everything alright? We laugh about it now, but the next few times I saw them in my actual voice, I wanted the ground to swallow me up. I am. You're a genius, my friend. You're a genius. That is so funny. Oh my God. I know what you mean. I know what you mean because do you remember that lady at that wedding? Yeah. She came over to you and she was like, she was, she was literally from Manchester and she was like trying to pretend. She was like. She was trying to, she didn't want to.

29:10She was trying to pretend she wasn't from Manchester with her Mancunian accent. Basically, she recognised Jamie and she was like, you look like the man from Chelsea. And then she turned to her friend and was completely from Manchester. And then she turned back to Jamie and was like, you look just like that man from Chelsea, that show. And I was like, what's happening here? This person was lit. She was the most... She then also told us how she'd done a really smelly poo in the loo and she didn't know what to do about it. And we were like, this is a lot. Okay, honey, give it to me. Here we go. I've got a love story from Janelle.

29:50Dear Jamie and Sophie, Farsi, congratulations on becoming parents and on this wonderful new chapter. I'm also so happy the podcast is back. It's made a weekly dose of British banter and laughter. At the start of 2024, life felt incredibly heavy. I was burnt out, recovering from a breakup, struggling with mental health and feeling completely lost. something had to change so i quit my job and booked a six-month adventure through bali sydney costa rica and mexico come on i was excited but terrified i didn't know if traveling would heal me but i knew i had to try it what follow became the most unforgettable journey of my life towards the end of my trip in mexico i reconnected with my first love whoa we met as teenagers at a surf competition in 2004 he lived in a small surfing town in mexico i lived in london but after our summer love story life took us in a different direction come on then 20 years later fate gave us another chance after returning to london i realized the only thing i truly wanted was him no way this is amazing this is like a literal love story so with a hopeful heart and what was left of my savings i packed up my life and moved to mexico a year and a half later we're traveling the world together and building the life we once dreamed about i still miss london dearly but i wouldn't change a thing thank you for the podcast through all the adventures and I want to expect a plot twist.

31:03Listen to you guys every week is comforting. Remind you of home. Oh, let's go. I need a picture. Also, give us some places in Mexico to go because Mexico is our favorite place ever and we just never know where to go back. And also, if you can let us know some like secret places that you've been traveling that you're like, these are the spots you've got to go to. Because I think sometimes you look at like a TripAdvisor and it just gives you the places where everyone goes. So Janelle, and send us some photos. We want to see. That is incredible. I love that. That is so incredible. Honey, I have a lovely love story as well from Dario.

31:32Here we go. Hey Jamie and Sophie.

32:01exactly what's wrong when I'm standing there completely clueless. What amazes me most is she does all of this while constantly worrying she's not doing enough. When from where I'm standing, she's absolutely smashing it. My wife has made parenthood look easy, even though I know it isn't. And our baby and I are unbelievably lucky to have her. You're so gorgeous. I love you. Dario. Come on. It's so true though. Mums are heroes. I said this to you. Honey, you're a hero. I know that when he poops at night and it sprays on me do you know why i know why it's okay because you're around the corner you're there honey a little whisper away you're my safety net you're my trampoline you're me you're my you mean the safety net around the trampoline you're yeah you're my airbag you're mine too honey okay i don't think i am but you are you are okay so this is a bath story from jenny all right jenny hey jamie and sophie i wanted to share something that feels like a miracle to us my husband and i spent years trying for a baby month after month brought disappointment and after countless appointments we were told that our chances of conceiving naturally were incredibly low we decided to try ivf and pulled everything we had into it emotionally physically and financially sadly our first round failed then our second round fell too i don't think i've ever felt heartbreak like it eventually we reached a point where we decided we needed a break from fertility treatments and started trying to make peace with the idea that parenthood might not happen for us.

33:29A few months later I started feeling a little off. I nearly didn't take a test because I genuinely thought there was no point. To my complete shock it was positive. Nine months later we welcomed our beautiful baby girl into the world. She's turning three this year and every birthday feels extra special because we're reminded of just how close we came to never meeting her. Sometimes the best things in life really do arrive when you're almost giving up hope. oh my god that's amazing that is so amazing and i just think that is such a lovely story and like that is so nice for people to hear you're going through ivf or struggling to you know conceive i just think there's so much hope in there and just don't give up hope thank you hey listen to you lovely little people who keep honestly writing and we love you where can they send them honey slide into our instagram at newly parents podcast where can they get all the information in the show description you can get all of our information there will be a link to everything and it will be there for you so happy searching also guys wherever you're listening or watching this if you could hit the subscribe or follow button it does us absolutely wonders doesn't it honey oh wonders wonders thank you very much that's the end of listeners messages

34:44Honey, you're making me really laugh today. You're making me laugh in general at the moment. I'm not sure why. Sleep deprivation, maybe. Hey, listen. Have you ever watched a, like, villain movie? Batman. Okay. What would be your best villain laugh if you had to do it? No, you have to really, like... You go fast. Okay, here we go. This is my villain laugh. oh my god okay go

35:18god

35:22your tongue i'm so worried about it my tongue i've been so white we need to get that tongue scraper on there it's not right i've been ill this whole week the whole time i was doing that you were just focusing on my tongue it's like covered in white fur yes because i mean what are you no i really need to look at I need to look into that. I think you have candida overgrowth. I don't have candida overgrowth. It's not right. Okay, mine.

35:52Okay, let me go again.

36:01Sound like a warthog. I think I won. No, maybe you won. Okay. Big question of the day as well. You know, we obviously had reality TV for 20 years. Would you allow Ziggy to do reality? Three years. Would you allow Ziggy to do reality TV? If Ziggy got to 18 years old, 19 years old, 21 years old, 20 years old, he said, hey, mother, father came to us. And he was like, look, I want to go on Love Island. What would you say? It depends. Like if he was like, I want to have a brand or I want to be X, Y and Z and like knew his career, I would try and be like, don't go on it just to get famous. Steer him away unless there was like a real goal.

36:41Also, like if Love Island was like it was in 2020 at 10. So hard. You can't be a hypocrite. You've got to let them fly their wings. So you would let him do it? I can't. You can't stop a child from doing anything. If he's 18 years old, he's going to do whatever the hell he wants to do. And like, all you're going to do is, you know, I would try and make sure he knows that if you do something, don't do it just because you want to be famous. because that's an empty vessel you're never going to fill it's a tricky one though right because if he says i want to go and do it we can't be you can't be hypocrites right because we did it right so yeah you have to go and do it what are the big things in life though that you wouldn't want him to do go be mean like i really really really don't want him to ever be mean and i i already am reading books like i know how i will make him not be mean how tell me because you just love love them like i think children who are i don't think anyone's innately mean i really don't i I think that people who are mean or bullies or like behave in really bad ways.

37:39Like I think that they've all gone through trauma or like had hard times. And I think you've got to give a child so much love. I really believe that like every human is who they are from their childhood. And that is a lot of pressure on parents. But like, I do think it's all about your upbringing. I think you're right. You can do shit loads of therapy to like reverse things. But I think innately, like you, apparently like if your mother loves you so much in the first two years like you're you you know you will always have some level of self-worth honey snaps to that girl snap this girl's been therapized you've been therapized so allow them to do reality tv but also we're going to make them kind the whole way through which is just amazing yeah i think you've just got to show children so much love and like just teach them like how to be kind i also think it's really important to allow them to do things like allow children you know they that children try and be so helpful and often they're them being helpful is actually really chaotic for us like he will you know my sister's baby she's one and a half nearly two she'll like try and sweep up if my sister's sweeping up but obviously she's gonna mess up everything even more because she's two she doesn't know but i think you've got to allow them to do that you've got to teach them you can't be like no don't you do that you go play with your toys i'll tidy up because then they don't learn how to do things.

38:58You are actually so good with that. It's like when he's eating and you're just like, you allow him to like just... Let him get messy, throw it everywhere, put it all over. Like you can't, you've got to allow them to just do it. Otherwise they don't learn. It's so good. You're quite like, ew, there's a sweet potato on me and you can't touch it. No, I'm not. You come back from work and he's like, and you're like, let's wipe you up first. Honey, that is the biggest lie I've ever heard. I'm like in my pristine outfit. I'm like... No ways. I do not. I allow... I sweep him up. I don't mind getting anything on me.

39:29I love it. I'm free as well. Do you think I'm a more relaxed parent than you? I think I honestly am. Oh, gosh, no. No, no, no, no. Come on, be serious. Jamie, Jamie, you are so, so worried about him. But that's so sweet. I'm so glad you are. You're very worried about him. But in life, you think I'm more relaxed, surely? No. Really? Does anyone think Jamie's more relaxed than me? Am I not? Like, in any way, I wouldn't say you're more relaxed. Is Sophie way more relaxed than me, guys? Sophie's chill. You're a bit like a coiled spring, you know? Really? You just sort of all wound up ready to pop.

40:04Am I really like that? It's so true. And you're so British. What? You're so highly strong. No, I'm going to be relaxed. You're not. There's no hippie in Jamie. There's loads of hippie in me. There is not. There's not even a smithereen in you. There is a lot of hippie in me. Your dad, there's hippie in him. And I'm like my dad. I'm hippie. No, you're like your mum. No, I'm not. I'm hippie. Don't you wink at me? I actually didn't mean to wink. My eye just twitched. I don't know what happened there. Well, ladies and gentlemen, on that lovely note, that is the end of the episode. Now, we like to close our episodes with a little bit of story time, which we're going to fade into the distance with.

40:46Honey, why don't you tell us the story of Sleeping Beauty who finally got eight hours of undisrupted sleep? Once upon a time, there was a little lass called Sleeping Beauty. and she had long long natural blonde hair and she slept and she slept until the cows came home and her little husband he was little indeed he crept up and looked after their tiny sweet baby so she could get one night's kit and in the morning she woke up and she was even more happy because she'd slept for eight whole hours that's the end we love it listen everybody we're going to be back next week for another episode of Newly Parents until then please get in touch at Newly Parents Podcast on Instagram you can slide into our DMs or you can send us an email newlyparents at jampopproductions.co.uk everything is in the show description and we'll be back next week for another episode until then if you're getting married good luck if you're getting divorced good luck if you're having a baby We love you.

41:52And if you're newly parents. We love you. See you later. Bye.

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