Proudlock on Parenthood...and the Paranormal?!

0:00Well, hello everybody. Welcome back to Nelly Parents. Now, before we start the show, we have a very exciting episode because we have one of my best friends in the world, Oliver Proudlock, on the show. And it's his birthday. It's his birthday. So we surprise him for that, which is really exciting. It's also a Halloween episode. Okay, so we're going to do some spooky stories from the listeners. And also Proudlock gives me some fatherly advice on how to be the best dad. All of that coming up on the show. So get ready. If you haven't subscribed already, please click the subscribe button and get ready for another freaking episode of Nelly Parents.

0:30Yeah, let's go.

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3:06Hello, I'm Jamie Leng. And I'm Sophie Leng. And we've been married for two years. And we're having a baby. Yes, we are. Are you ready? Let's go. Well, ladies and gentlemen, welcome back to Nearly Parents. We have a very special episode today. Now, you're tuning in because you're thinking it's going to be Jamie and Sophie. That's what it is every single week, but we have a little bit of announcement because I'm here. Big news. That's good. That makes it a real good episode, A-class episode, right? Sophie, she's not here. Sophie is very pregnant, extremely pregnant. And so when you're and you get that pregnant as I know, because I've been there.

3:51I've been there. She's just exhausted and tired. So I was thinking, right, who do I bring in? It's impossible to replace her in any way whatsoever. But I thought, you know what? I know a person. So I gave this person a call. Now he doesn't do anything. So he's, he's always free. He's either drunk or free. Can I jump in now? No, yeah, this is your intro, bitch. This is started well and then turned into the worst intro ever. Hey. Start that bit again. Okay, all right. So I phoned up someone who is loyal. He's one of my best friends in the world. He's never let me down, ever. He's a person I can rely on every single day of my life.

4:28I'd probably call him most days. He's a freaking gangster with the coolest getup, sometimes wears a hat. He's got two of the most beautiful kids in the entire world. One of them, I'm Godfather too. He's got the most beautiful wife ever. He's a businessman. He's an entertainer. He's an ex-podcast. It's Mr. Oliver Proudlough! Wow. Yeah. Beast. I mean, now we're talking, bro. There we go, baby! I was tired, but now I feel glorious. Oh, man. Don't even worry about that. I'm gonna do my best. Obviously, I'm not as good as Soph's, but I'll do my very best. You'll do your best. Hey, listen, you're tired though, aren't you?

5:06I'm pretty tired. Because you are a parent. Yeah. Weekends with kids are pretty full on. Like, I always thought, you know, having one kid, which you're about to embark on, And I always thought that was going to be intense. But two is just a different ballgame. Why? Give it to me. Tell me why. It's funny because when you have your second kid, Ems and I just thought, do you know what? We've done this. We're here. We're good. Our daughter was like three at the time. So we thought it's just going to be the same. Maybe it's going to be a little bit easier the second time. Of course, because you know what you're doing.

5:33We know what we're doing. Yeah, man, you can change those nappies. No, no, no, my friend. No, no, no, no, no, no. One, you kind of forget everything, which is kind of weird. And then it's the chaos. For some reason, two feels like three, maybe even four. Get out of here. No, I'm serious. And then the juggling and like trying to get back in the zone. And like, we're lucky now we're at a place where Levi, your God's son is now, he's five months and he's an absolute legend. So you just leave him at home now. He's a real chiller. He looks after the house. He does a little bit of cleaning. That's good.

6:03Like he's a little bit shabby on doing the bed, but he's getting better. He's pretty good now. So he's handy. How intense is it? give it to me so so so one is all right why is two having two kids so much more look obviously you're having to juggle like when you've got one yeah if one of you needs to go off and do something or this and that you can you can tag team it whereas with two there's no downtime so like this weekend as you know i was unwell yeah and you just can't be unwell because it's a lot then for your partner to be looking after two kids and you've got one kid who's three whose energy is through the roof.

6:41And so you've really got to have one person on them at all times. And then you've got the other one who's just, you know, you never know what's going to happen. So it's just like, it's full on. But dude, one kid is sweet. Really? It's so cozy, especially those first few months are just like the coziest. But then my sister-in-law came over with her kid who, and she's amazing called Bella. She's what, eight months old now. And it's quite full on. You got to entertain the baby. Yeah, but you're great at that. I know, I'm just saying, you've got to entertain the baby, you've got to hold the baby. You can't just let the baby run around.

7:13You've got to hold, were you surprised that you have to hold the baby? Yeah. It's a big, big surprise. Yeah. Well, you thought you could just sort of leave the baby? They're on like a constant, like, honestly, babies are basically on a constant suicide mission. They are literally running around, eating everything, like putting their fingers in everything. It's like, oh my God, what is going on? It's a bit like you, to be honest. Yeah, but I'm not putting my fingers in everything. Yeah, you are, buddy. Get out of here, Beast. I'm not putting my fingers in places. I'm not sure. But this is why I think you're going to be such a good parent because you're like a baby in the most glorious way.

7:46What do you mean? Just high energy, man, all the time. Just want to be like, do you know what it always reminds me of? I remember when we used to go on holidays together and if we would be staying in a hotel and let's say Jay wanted to go, like, I don't know, get some sweets or like whatever. He just wanted to cruise and like you always wanted to be on the move. He couldn't, you couldn't do it by yourself. so you'd be like buddy would you mind like coming with me yeah that's what it's like when you have kids like you have to go obviously everywhere with them you've got to support them entertain them give me your little morning routine what do you do um you get up you have a little whiskey it depends you get up you have a little whiskey in the morning are we talking like what day are we talking Monday today um so it was 5am 5am on the monitor I just hear papa papa so that was Bon obviously waking up to the rain yeah so to go up and get Bon but she talks to the monitor yeah yeah yeah Yeah, she knows that obviously there's a camera there and that we can hear her.

8:38Because we can talk back to her. No. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So papa, papa. Yeah, and don't worry baby, I'm coming. So go get Bon. And then that's kind of when the day started. So it was five o 'clock. And then you bring her into the bedroom? So you like, that's the cutest thing I've ever heard. We're kind of like, if it's close to the morning like that, yeah, we will. Especially if it's five. And because we've got Levi at the moment, who's in the other bedroom. And so one of us has a good night's sleep. One of us will be with Levi. And then the day starts. Then she wants to get changed probably like three or four times.

9:08She's big on that. Really? Likes to change her outfit a few times. Okay. Which is awesome in the morning when you're really tired. Change it four times? Maybe three or four times. Like her dad. Apparently, when I was a kid, my mom said the same thing. She said, I always used to change my outfits. Nightmare? Yeah, nightmare. Especially sometimes when we'll be like leaving the house. Like we're ready to go. And she'll suddenly be like, yeah, Papa, I don't like this outfit. And then it's back in, back upstairs. No, no, no. She'll change the whole thing. And you have to say that You can't just say Look you look great Of course Always go with you look great Like that's the best outfit I've ever seen Are you serious?

9:41Oh so you don't go You look shit We should change that actually But then she goes And changes herself now So like she'll run upstairs Put a whole new look on So she's got She's got Papa's jeans in her Where you Because you like Styling yourself You do I like clothes You love clothes Yeah I do That's true And so she's seen that And now likes clothes Yes This is what it is though It's a control thing So kids they like to feel like they have a bit of control So if they can have a control over what clothes they wear And changing clothes Do kids know how to manipulate? Oh dude they're so clever Like the mind games dude they're so sneaky No ways 100 % Okay so what mind games does Bond play?

10:21What mind games does she play? There's no way she plays like mind games I mean not your kind of mind games But like very innocent little ones Like things where like again I guess it's maybe a control thing and it's so cute but she'll you know like let's say yesterday morning in the breakfast for breakfast I'm like what do you want for breakfast she'd be like oh can I have some um some yogurt with berries and and crunchies crunchies like a little granola with honey great I'm like you sure you want crunchies it's like yeah yeah 100 % you want crunchies yeah baby I want crunchies she doesn't say baby to me by the way um yeah yeah and then I go make it you know this lovely yogurt with the crunchies berries honey here you go oh I don't didn't want crunchies, Papa.

11:01I'm like, what? What do you mean you didn't want crunchies? Like, I asked you like three times, crunchies. I even specifically was like, you sure you want crunchies? She's like, yeah. So I guess it's me back downstairs again in front of the bowl. Okay then. Cool. So then I'll end up eating that bowl and then just go make a bowl without crunchies. Do you know what I get from that? What do you get from that? You're a weak father. Oh yeah, nice. That's what I get from that. You're a weak, weak, weak dad. Do you know what I would be like? Let's roleplay this. Hey baby. Hey baby Prattler, how you doing this morning?

11:39And you'd say… Your breath stinks, Papa.

11:45Smells like poo. I'm going to go and brush them in a second. Just leave me be. Can you go brush them now? Yeah, okay, hold on. Yeah, weak father. Weak. No, I'm just… Weak papa. Okay, here. What do you want for breakfast? Do you want yoghurt? Berries? Still smells like poo Okay, do you want Yogurt berries? Crunchies? Yeah, I'll put some crunchies on there There you go, here you go You like that? No, I don't want crunchies I don't give a shit I don't give a shit You're gonna eat those crunchies I hate you, papa You're the worst papa ever And your breath still smells like poo Yeah, well, you know what?

12:15You're the only one I got I'm the only I'm the only father you've got So what are you gonna do about it? Run away Find another one Run away Try and run away That's what I'd be like God, that's awesome. That's perfect. Dude, that's perfect. That whole role play was perfect. So just act that out in every single scenario. How much patience do you have? That's the key, dude. The patience is key. And that's where the scenario, like the yogurt with the crunchies, you know, you just be patient. Because you have a lot of patience. The thing where your patience is tested and you sometimes may slip is when you're exhausted.

12:52That's when the patience gets tested a little bit. And what, voice goes up? No, I mean... You keep it level? If I lose my patience, I'd become frustrated. That's why I'm worried about keeping my calm. Because if I become frustrated... You are pretty freaking scary when you lose it. You've never seen me lose my patience. I have. It's scary. Get out of here. I've seen you shout at people. When have you ever seen me... You're already getting a little bit aggressive. You've never... The voice is coming up a little bit. You've never seen me shout. When have you? Because you were saying that you occasionally...

13:23When did you last get really angry? The last time I got really angry was when I had some road rage. Okay. What happened? I was on my scooter, like this, and going around High Park Corner, which is a roundabout, I turned to go left down Piccadilly, and this car obviously had, like, wanted to go as well, and so I had turned, but he had tried to cut me off, so he tried to cut me off. A car! I'm on my Vespa, are you kidding me? No one cuts off, Laney. No one freaking cuts me off. So I didn't really know what to do, right? But I was like, this is what I did, I was in front of him And I was like What the hell Also you on that bike With that helmet Yeah yeah yeah Trying to be aggressive My pink helmet And I was like this And I went What the hell Like that So I didn't know what to do So I sat up On my Vespa And spanked my ass at him I went Ah What Yeah yeah Why did you do that This guy went mental He I was like So it worked It fucking worked Yeah spank worked Anyway He gets his car Rising up next to me We were like this, driving neck and neck.

14:27And he's going to this. Were you still spanking your ass? No. And then he, I swear on my life. Did you get scared at this point? I swear on my life, he tends to drive into me. What were you doing at this point? Were you getting pretty scared? Yeah, and then we basically like stop in the middle of the road and then we went for each other. Screaming at him, he was screaming. That's the last time. So wait, he pulled over, you got off the bike. In the middle of the road. He screeched in front of me and we stopped in the middle of the road and we were screaming at each other. What were you saying? You freaking idiot.

14:55like oh i'll i'll get you were you gonna were you getting right up in his grill man i was like you you don't even know you don't even know what i can do had you taken the helmet off or helmet no helmet was on yeah just in case he got out yeah yeah helmet fully on tightened real tight don't come near me okay okay so that was the last time in like a public scenario where have you last like lost your cool or like felt like you've lost your patience in like a more private scenario I mean, I have to be pushed quite a lot to really lose it. When you and I used to live together, you were quite aggressive.

15:32I was waiting for that. Yeah, you were really good. You were scary, man. You were like scary. People used to come back and you're like, no, this is Proudlux house. Bang! Just go bang. Yeah. Is that me banging the door? No, you just said it. No, we're not aggressive people though. No, not at all. We're more emotional. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, I was always pretty emotional. You until only recently, you've started to let your emotions out. But dude, that is the perfect time to find your emotions before you have your baby. If you really think about it, what makes you tear up? Come on, let's get some tears on the show.

16:05I mean, like my kids, straight up. For sure, obviously. M's. He's actually going already. No, I'm not going yet. He's really tired. You are looking a little watery over there. I'm not looking watery at all. What makes you tear up? thinking about your kids and them. That's what makes me tear up. Why doesn't they go and talk about them? Here we go. Why does it make you tear up? Okay. So you love Soph's, right? You love your family. More than any. You love your friends. More than any. So when you have your baby, the love that you have for that tiny human, dude, I just cannot, this is what I can't wait for you to feel like, because it's impossible to explain.

16:46You can try and tell someone before they have their kid, but until you have your baby until you go through that it is the most insane thing and obviously every single stage of being a parent has these challenges but it's the love that just like pushes beyond all of that and and that's why you get why i get so emotional and you probably will when you start thinking about your kids um it's it's insane it is the most beautiful thing in the wild like nothing comes near that was very beautifully put thanks buddy i i i have my uh my book coming up when books out actually by this point and the last chapter i dedicate to my baby right it's glorious it's glorious and the last line i can't even i can't even read it because it like makes me almost tear up but but i basically say i can't wait i can't wait to meet you little one oh and that even before meeting even before me the little one it's like gets me yeah

17:43Guys, I just want to take a moment to talk to you about this episode's sponsor the new Citroen C3 Aircross So if you don't know this but Citroen actually got in touch with the podcast and they kind of got me thinking about another family car for when I finally passed my test I insist on something stylish at least I'm looking for comfortability Enough room for a growing family Which is why Soph, okay something like the new Citroen C3 Aircross could be perfect for us. Also, by the way, I think we need to think of some like road trip games. I love a road trip game. You want to put the tablet down, no iPads, no nothing like that at all, and play games like I Spy with My Little Eye.

18:23Well, that's very basic. We've all played I Spy. Okay, something more complicated. Hit me more. All right. Going through the alphabet and have to name countries. I'll start. America. You go B. Brazil. C. Canada. D. Denmark. E. England. F. France G Germany H Hungary I Iceland K Kilimanjaro I've got another game Word associations Okay explain this to me So I say a word And then you say the word That associates with it Here we go Scissors Paper Drawing Crayon Kids School Nursery Playroom Scary I love this game Okay, these are great, but why don't we think of a new family tradition? I love that. It's got to be our personal family game.

19:15Yeah, I love that. And we let other people into it if we like them enough. Okay, we could play something like Car Bingo. I'm not even joking. So like, okay, we have a bingo card. So we all pick our bingo card. And then we have to spot on the roads who has those similar things. Like a number plate beginning with F. Or a yellow car. Or three people in the car. All these different things add up to your bingo card. and then when you win you go bingo and the person in the car who got the bingo wins the prize I love it I absolutely love it I think that would be a good one what about if we play Who Are We where you see a family in the car next to you right and you just create a whole story about their lives okay great who they're married to well school they went to what they're thinking give me something so if there's a family a dad and a mum and a little girl or a man and a woman and a little girl so I'm going to say that's the mother and then that's the brother the brother Driving?

20:09Yeah, driving. Her brother. Okay. And they've got the daughter in the back and they are taking her ice skating up north. That is random. We're going to drive in separate cars. That's the rule. We're driving in separate cars. And the little girl is a professional opera singer. Well, on that note, oh my Lord, that got me kind of excited for those road trips. And that Citroen C3 Aircross would just be perfect for those long, long journeys with me. By the way, you're not wrong. First off, it's got seven seats. Okay, so you can fit the whole crew. The whole team can go in there. We can even bring our parents along if that's what we wanted.

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21:11Talk me about the actual kids This is going to happen at some point That day when you go to hospital And you gotta give me the lowdown What do I need to do? What do I need to pack? What do I need to be ready for? That's what I Give me the 101 on that So here we go Oh, water's broken The thing is Ours was M's had a C-section So it's also a different experience Sure, I get that So I don't know But you go to hospital Yeah What do you pack in the hospital bag? Yeah, so we, first time round You didn't pack it? Well, no, we did pack it You packed alcohol again? No, we thought You packed We thought, you know, oh, this is going to be kind of like You know, a couple days out, we got a little baby We took a backgammon board Thought we'd get a little backgammon in What?

21:58I know What the hell? I know, I know You took a backgammon board? I know, but bear in mind, you know The baby obviously sleeps a lot at that beginning time So we were thinking, we'll get a little time, you know, chill, a little bit of badgammon. Maybe a little picnic? Didn't bring a picnic, did bring a bottle of rouge. There we go. Yeah, because we thought a little bit of pizza, a little bit of rouge. Yeah, get a movie on, kid will be sleeping. That's what we thought. No, none of that, my friend. No. Bottle of rouge was not popped. Badgammon was not popped. No, no, no, no. Do not pack any of those.

22:32Why? Actually, do you know what I would pack? Yeah. It's just a very small bottle of champagne. just a cheers just a little cheers and then put that champagne away because the chaos starts no no it doesn't start straight away no it doesn't so baby comes up and it was born and we didn't know if it was a boy or girl for that first one which was just the most beautiful thing in the world that's amazing and then are you going to cut the umbilical cord? 100 % with my teeth man yeah yeah you won't get through it with your teeth my friend yeah I would no no no yes I would no 100 % I'd rip that my teeth buddy that thing is strong Yeah, I'd get through it.

23:07Okay, you try. I want to see that. I'd rip it like a rope. So obviously you do that. And then the most beautiful moment is when your baby goes over to the mama, so to Soaps, that first time. Them two together for the first time, that set me off. I mean, I was just like bawling my eyes out. So that will definitely set you off. You weren't holding it together? Oh, no, no, no. Let your emotions out. All right. Don't hold back, buddy. If I see you there holding your emotions - Because you'll be there. I'll be there. You'll be in your scrubs. I'll be there. Holding that umbilical cord. If I see you holding back, let it out.

23:40But that, and then obviously when the bubba comes to you, I mean, it's just like, it's insane. Is it really? The first time you look at your baby. Oh my God, what? That's mad. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's unbelievable. Hey. Hey, buddy. Hey. This is it. Hey. Hey, I guess this isn't for the next 60, 70 years. Forever, this is it. 60, 70 years? And that's the new chapter of your life. And the funniest thing for me. It changes from there, doesn't it? I just, my life before kids, I almost can't remember it. I can remember it. I know you can, but like I can't remember a lot of it. Can you not? Yeah. I even, do you know what's crazy?

24:14I bought a couple of pictures with me today. So yeah, I was doing a clear out of the house yesterday. You bought some pictures with you today? And I found this old photo book and there were some pictures of you and me in it. No. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You've got it here? But the funniest thing is I don't even really remember this. Well, weirdly that time was a bit weird. I don't remember lots of things from that time. Yeah, you were very weird at that time. All I remember is you being really odd. But like, so these two pictures here. What? Okay, so there's one picture. It's me, you. Where is that? I think we're in Scotland there.

24:48I think this is when, do you remember when you had that bit of a panic attack? Yeah, I remember that. I think it potentially could have been then. Was that, and then you got one more? And then this one's kind of jokes. This is when we used to share office together and I was obviously upstairs, Jay was downstairs. Uh-huh. I forgot we shared an office together. And this is like No! And dude, that's obviously doing a tasting That's a taste test of the first Candy Kid and Sweets ever And I'm just spinning them in the bin there Which is quite neat That's what you had to do That is wild That's probably 10 years ago Producer King Yui over there He wants us to put them on social So we're going to put them on social media Nearly Parents Podcast We're going to post them up That is insane They're not even that exciting But the thing was It's just funny how Long we've known each other I know I know, but also So when like these memories for me, I can't even remember being there.

25:36Yeah, I can't remember. Which is crazy. But the point is when you have your baby, it's just like you embark on this next chapter of your life, dude. And it's just going to be. Yeah, it's just it's insane. And everything before you'll have little pockets of memories, but it's like everything starts. I can't freaking wait. Okay, it's Halloween. Yes. Okay. Do you believe in ghosts? Yeah, we had a ghost. our pad. Shut up. What do you mean? We lived together. Do you remember? We didn't have a ghost there. Do you not remember? There was something sketchy in that bathroom. What are you talking about?

26:10You don't remember that? No. Maybe it was only me and Boulay who saw that guy. Wait, what happened? It felt like a presence as opposed to like a real ghost-like figure. But let me give you this one. And I may have told you this one before. Yeah, I can't wait. So this is a friend of mine. She lives in the countryside. This is when she was growing up. Yeah. And she was in the house by herself. Yeah. and i think they had an outhouse where i think maybe her granny was in but otherwise she was the only person in the house this is true story true story and she wakes up in the middle of the night and she's facing towards the door and obviously there's windows behind her and there's a chair in the corner of the room yeah and she wakes up and she can just feel like she's like she doesn't want to look but she knows like someone's sitting in the chair so she's like thinking to herself right what do i do do i do i sort of like shout do i make a noise her door is slightly open so she's like do i just peg it and and just run and she can hear wind whistling through the window and the window was closed before she went to bed right so she knows someone has come through something's come through the window whether this is a real person or a ghost get out of here so she pegs it slams the door goes downstairs into the kitchen and hides like underneath the island and calls to the outhouse to her granny then her granny comes over they called the police this whole thing and they went back up into her room the doors just wide open of her bedroom and the windows closed that's the end of the story that's it that's the end of the story that's it buddy so nothing happened who knows what do you mean who knows it was a freaking ghost oh my god what I was on you had me listen I know I did that's the shittest story I've ever heard wait the point of the story What?

27:59Don't fucking be scared. No. What is scarier? If it was a real person. That. Or a ghost. A real person would be way scarier. That's the right answer. If I woke up and there was a man sitting in my chair at the end of my bed, I would freak out. I know. I would freak out. And that's why that story is fucking scary, man, because it was obviously a real guy. No one was there. What do you mean no one was there? We don't know anyone was there. She went back up to the room. The door's open. The door doesn't just open itself. She might not have slammed it. It might have bounced back. No. How do we know that?

28:29There's no bounce back on her doors. How do we know there isn't? They were specifically designed. No, they weren't. The hinge may have broken. What about the window? Probably shut because of the wind. No, it was fully closed. What? Then how did the guy get in? That's a good question. Yeah, so he disappeared in the room. Listen, don't fuck with the story. Oh my God. I've told that story before and it scared people. Maybe I said that there was a guy. She saw him. Are you thinking about replaying it? Can we reword it? You can't tell a scary story wearing a trilby. I mean, sorry. It's not a trilby.

29:01Yeah. Going down races.

29:06Oh, peaky blinders. Is that what you've come as? Anyway, listen. Ladies and gentlemen, as always, in our episode, we get to the moment that we like to call It's Listener's Messages!

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33:02Okay, because it's Halloween edition, we're going to do some spooky stories. Okay, so here we go. I Spooky story from Joanne. When we were teenagers, my brother used to say he could see the people. Standing at the end of his bed, they were tall, shadowy figures, and he felt they weren't overly friendly, but otherwise never bothered him. We never used to take my brother seriously when he told us these stories, as they would often come up. Wow, buddy. Scary. Your reading is scary. Here we go. Are you ready? You're in keep this all in. What school did you go to again? Here we go. Shh. Sorry. Just stop.

33:41We never used to take my brother seriously when he told us these stories as they would often come out after a night of drinking. So he just assumed it was the alcohol mixed with his overactive imagination. One night around 10 years later, his daughter, my niece, was staying in his old room at grandma and grandpa's house. My niece was very afraid of the dark, so my mom would always leave the door open at night and a light on in the hallway. The next morning my mum woke up and noticed the door was firmly shut She thought this was odd so she went and opened the door to check on my niece The first thing she noticed was that the door was difficult to open As if it had been lodged shut Once she opened the door she found my niece sitting up in bed wide awake looking terrified When she asked her what was wrong and why she shut the door My niece replied, I didn't do it The people did it After that we realized that perhaps the people that visited this room were indeed real My brother had never spoken about them to his daughters He knew this would have led to endless sleepless nights So to this day we are convinced that that room was haunted That is a good story That's brutal That is a good story I actually got little like goosebumps on that That is a good story Also the fact that she, the people Wasn't even like some shadows or yeah Oh my god That's terrifying That is actually very scary When's the most scared you've ever been?

34:57The scaredest I've ever been Yeah I mean I can't even think of anything You've never been scared? I mean cause But dude like when was the last time you were scared? So many times Okay give me one I was lying in my bed at night Bang! Yes You're scared No You were scared there Listen listen here I was lying in my bed at night He's just making up stories I'm not Listen to what happened I was lying in my bed at night It's a true story yeah True story I had a skylight But it had shutters on it Right? And I was lying down And I put my head on the pillow And I heard this Bang Clip clop I did I heard this I was like, what the hell is that?

35:31So I sat up and I went, hello? Hello? Nothing. Put my head back in the pillow and I heard on the skylight. So I got up, hello? It was rain. Anyone there? As I put my head back on the pillow, the skylight, bang, opens up and something drops down into the room. I'm not kidding you. It drops down into the room and then runs out. I'm like, oh my God. I thought it was a man on a zip wire that came into my room because I was playing Call of Duty before I went to bed. So that's what scares you, Call of Duty. And then, no, and then, so imagine that, imagine the middle of the night dropping from your ceiling into your thing.

36:11I thought it then was a panther. Anyway, turns out it was a cat. A cat had dropped through the skylight. That is terrifying. You were scared of a cat? Yes, that is terrifying. What is wrong with you? That is terrifying. Cat. That is terrifying. That is terrifying. So that is like, when was the... My friend! You met Fox? Yeah. Fox, my friend. He's a super...

36:37He was staying again at Leeds University. How scary is this? He was staying at Leeds University and he came back in holiday time to stay at the house that he rented. And he was lying in his room in the middle of the night in Leeds University. It was like a house, like, you know, anything, whatever. And he was going to bed that night. And then suddenly... Suddenly he heard like movement outside the house He was like, what the hell's going on? And he saw a guy come up to his window Put his hands over his eyes Look into his bedroom Max just lying in bed frozen The guy pushed open the window And starts to climb in Did he just not do anything?

37:18He went Yeah, yeah, yeah Pretend he was a dog That's hilarious Okay, go on. Give me one more. This one doesn't have a name, but it just says scary. Okay, we like this. I have a scary story and want to know if you think it's a real encounter or if my boyfriend has kept this lie to spook me out. I like this. My boyfriend has always claimed that his house is haunted. Since I live there, I've noticed strange things myself. Footsteps and doors opening and closing upstairs when no one else is home. It's that reoccurring thing, the slamming doors. That's why my story was freaking scary. or seeing the bedroom curtains move violently from outside the house when there's no wind.

37:56That's scary. But there's one incident that still shakes us to this day, and we have never been able to explain it.

38:05Just remember the story. I just had a flashback of some reason. I can't wait to tell you. For context, my boyfriend and I live at his parents' house, but our bedroom is separate from the main house. It's in the garden. At the time, we didn't have blinds, just a blanket covering most of the window, except for a small gap near the door. Loads of outhouses and these stories today. Yeah, scary. Outhouses are scary. Okay. About a year and a half ago, I went into the main house around 10 p.m. to check if our clothes were drying in the tumble dryer. For some reason, I can't remember why, I told my boyfriend I was going to sleep in the garden.

38:36That's pretty scary. In a tent? Or like that? The outhouse. Maybe. But no, she came from the outhouse. Yeah, weird. After I finished inside, I went back out and sat in the garden for a minute, about five meters away from our room. Yeah. Why did you do that? It was pitch black, so he wouldn't have been able to see me. When I saw my boyfriend get up and walk past the window to grab his phone from the charger, a moment later, he came back to the window, looked out, and made a face, sticking his tongue out at me before disappearing. Seconds later, he opened the bedroom door with his phone flashlight on, looking for me.

39:10I went inside and asked, why did you make that face at me through the window? He looked confused and said, what face? I mimicked the face he had made And told him I'd seen him come to the window and do it He swore he hadn't No He said that he walked past to get his phone He thought he saw me standing right outside the window looking in Which is why he grabbed the flashlight and opened the door to check To this day we still have no idea what we saw Okay Part of me sometimes wondered if he is still messing with me And won't admit it But he swears he didn't do it That is scary I reckon it was him I reckon it was probably him What's your story that you can't sit off and wear out?

39:45It's a complete tangent, but I don't know why I remembered it. It was a story from school.

39:54Go on, buddy. They used to play pranks on people at school. And what they did is they basically, at school in another house, they got a group of boys together and they played this game where... I don't think I can say it. Yeah, go on. They had to get in a circle and all had to masturbate. Sorry. This story's terrifying. They played this prank on this poor boy. I love how you go, they played. I was not there. You played this prank. I was not there. Jamie played a prank on the poor boy. No, there was not. They had to all sit in a circle and they all had to play this game where you had to masturbate.

40:31And the last person to orgasm would be the loser, right? And so they turned off the lights and they did it all in a room together. And they went, right, three, two, one, go. and they turned the lights back on after 30 seconds and there was just one bloke. And it was you. Just sitting there. It was you. You were in the middle of that circle. It was Jamie in the middle of the circle. That is where your trauma started. That's the core. It was not me. That's the core. It was not me. Oh my gosh. That's rough. Oh God. Ladies and gentlemen, thank you so much for running in all your listeners' messages.

41:09We absolutely love them. more than anything, the spooky ones, the great ones, the fun ones, everything. Keep sending them in, please, because we love to hear from them. And Sophie will be back next week, so don't worry. She'll be picking up all of these. Send them to Nilly Parents Podcast on Instagram, or you can send us an email, nillyparents.jampoproductions.co.uk. Everything is in the show description. That's the end of Listener's Messages.

41:35So, from one spooky event to the next, that little segue, way it's ollie proud looks 50th birthday it's a big one god great that is you got great skin that is pretty spooky huh spooky can you believe i'm gonna be 50 that's insane i don't you're gonna be a little bit younger than 50 but we are getting a little bit older that's that we are what do you want for a present not from me but from what do you want well i want something from you what do you want sure what do you want man what did you get for your last but do you still get presents uh well i i'm i'm quite a big believer in like doing like an experience or like like gifting something i think that's what i'm much i think it's really important to keep doing those things in like relationships or whatever just because so i i buy sophie presents so her birthday i just bought her a present how was sophie's birthday this weekend great man i bought her a lovely present she loved it you went back to where you guys got engaged so you got engaged to the rosewood so we go back there every year for like her birthday or like i think we go back to the Rosewood to have like a moment, which is really sweet.

42:35So I bought her a present. So what are you going to get for your birthday? Do you think? All I said to Em, I said, I just want to have just us time, me and her, just the two of us. Wow. Um, cause it's hard to get that. It gets hard when you've got two kids and we don't, we don't have any family here in the UK. So it's hard for us to just sort of, you know, even just go for a lunch or a dinner. So, um, we're going to just have a full day together. Just like, just be cozy. Jesus Christ! 50. Happy birthday to you. That scared the hell out of me. That was way scary. That was way scary. Happy birthday, dear, oh, proud log.

43:17Happy birthday to you. Make a wish. All right, here we go. Oh, guys, thank you. That's unbelievable. There you go. Hey! Look at that, man. Look at that. Oh, he's just got, we just got him a cake. That was the scariest thing about the whole episode. That one's pretty scary. Scared the hell out of me, that did. Oh, wow. Coming in there. Look at that. What have we got here? Look at this. That's glorious. So I reckon this is like a Mars bar cake. Is it really? I don't know. Is that what it is? Little chockeys on top that I'm going to have a little bite off. Oh, that looks unreal, guys. Let's get in.

43:53Mars bar You having the first bite of my cake? I haven't had Thanks buddy No way man Cheers man You have that I haven't had a Mars bar At 10 o 'clock in the morning For a while I'm going to join you Oh my god man Is it good? Yeah So mate What do you want for your birthday? So I obviously just want to spend some good quality time with Ems What do you want for your This is your last birthday Before being a dad This is a big one Go on, try that Go on, have a bite of that It's really good That is good For my present this year Because our birthdays are pretty close to each other I want a healthy, happy baby Amen That's all I care about If that happens The greatest birthday present I could ever ask for And then on the actual day What would you like to do?

44:42What would be your perfect birthday day? Okay, perfect birthday day for me I would get up at 7am Yeah I would then probably go and have like A little workout Maybe like a sauna Something like that We would then go and have breakfast together Sophie and I Then we'd go and have a Spend the day together I don't know what we would do in the day Like just walking And seeing things And spending time together Maybe do I don't know something And then we'd go for dinner An early dinner With like friends Because Sophie's pregnant Or just me and her Go for early dinner And then maybe like a cinema trip Or watch a movie at home Dude That would be a great day Very similar to my day oh man you know maybe chuck a massage in there oh man that's exactly what I want I would almost do the cine in the day so you almost have a brekkie maybe a little massage and go for a little little day cine and then maybe and then maybe in the evening I get lucky there you go buddy you know what I mean it's a big day oh yeah oh right big day not with I don't think I get lucky with Soph so who are you getting lucky with paint my nails on my hand hello going back to you in the middle of that circle again right What I do is I paint my nails and then sit on my hand for like five minutes.

45:53Oh, man. This guy, bro.

45:59That's what I do. All right. That's awesome. Now, literally on your birthday, that's what I'm going to be. I know what you're going to be doing now that night. Yeah, nice. I'm just going to watch one more movie, yeah? I'll see you in the morning. Night. Bye. Sausage. Nails done. Ready to go. Sad on my hand. It's dead.

46:19That's what I would do That's a great day, bud It's a big day Big 37 I'm obviously kidding I'm obviously kidding I would not do that But I would spend it with Soph And I'd have the best time ever It would be the most It's pretty insane to think That this is your last Last birthday Before being a dad Isn't that wild? I know, it's amazing And I'm really excited for it I feel very blessed at the moment I feel very lucky Very blessed for everything That's exciting Yeah, I feel I feel It's exciting times And I'm just excited To become a dad And I'm just excited for this next chapter. I'm excited for it.

46:51I'm excited to join you in the journey. I can't wait to do that. Because then I think what happens is because when you have kids and your buddies when you don't have kids and your buddies have kids we still connect like deep and ever but you don't understand it because you haven't experienced it. You kind of understand the tiredness or the love or the whatever it is. You don't quite get it. Once I have it I can then understand everything and that's what I'm going to love more than anything in this world. Yeah, it's going to be glorious, dude. Listen, I want to say a big thank you to you for coming on the podcast.

47:19Love you, buddy. Love you to bits. I'm very proud of you, mate. And I'm just so excited. It's funny looking back at those photos and I know I say I can't really remember it, but obviously there are so many pockets that I do. And just to think how far we've both come since then and how lucky we are is pretty insane. It's very insane. And BC, you're the best. You are most loyal, most loving, most talented, most entertaining, best person anyone could ask for. and as much as we joke around with each other I love you to bits right back at you buddy I'm so excited to get on this journey with you I can't freaking wait let's go man you're gonna be the best dad ever and happy 50th thanks buddy happy 48th coming everybody listen Sophie's gonna be back next week thank you for tuning in as always go and check out Oli on social media we're gonna leave all his links in the description also if you wanna get in touch we wanna hear from you at nearlyparentspodcast on Instagram or nearlyparents at jampopproductions.co.uk and we're going to be back next week for another episode of Nearly Parents.

48:20Until then, if you're getting married... Yeah, baby! If you're getting divorced... Nah, baby! If you are single and ready to mingle... Yeah, baby! If you're thinking of getting engaged... Yeah, baby! If you're having a baby... Yeah, baby! Okay, alright. See you later, alligators. In a while, crocodiles. See you next week. Love ya. Goodbye! Yay!

49:13We'll be right back. Program subject to terms and conditions. See Lowe's.com slash terms for details. Subject to change. Colon cancer is on the rise. It's the second deadliest cancer and the number one cancer killer of people under 50 in the U.S. Yet it remains one of the most preventable cancers. If you're 45 or older and at average risk, it's time to talk about screening. Cologuard Plus is a non-invasive at-home collection kit that requires no prep, can be completed in about 15 minutes, and is 95 % effective. If you've been putting it off, you're not alone. but timely screening matters. Let's talk about what isn't talked about.

49:49Talk to your provider or request Cologuard Plus online, Rx only. Hello, I'm Monica Reinagle, host of the Nutrition Diva podcast. Summer is here and with it, the hot and sticky weather. A morning working in the garden or maybe on the golf course can leave you more depleted than you realize. And plain water isn't always the most efficient way to restore the balance. That's where liquid IV comes in. Its science-backed formula is clinically proven to hydrate faster than water alone. Whether you're exercising, playing outside, or simply surviving a summer heat wave, it's an easy way to stay hydrated.

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