Sophie goes on a WILD Mum's night out

0:00Welcome back to the podcast, baby!

0:08No,

0:12don't do that with your lower heart. Okay, you're really terrible. Welcome back everybody to Newly Parents. Episode 13, I think it is. Episode 13 of our glorious podcast. And if you're watching this right now on YouTube, you'll know that we've changed sets. We're back in the studio for various reasons. Various reasons. We felt it was time. Well, we've had a problem with our house. Yeah, we've had a problem with our house. C 'est la vie. We're back. We're back, baby. We are freaking back in our little place and we love it. To be honest, I've actually missed the studio. I feel really back. I'm sprightly as anything at the moment.

0:48I've got full-blown energy. Here we go. I'm ready. I bloody bloody well do. I'm ready to go. I'm freaking ready to go. I'm fucking ready to go. Can we just talk about it? Because this is newly parents, right? So I think we need to discuss a bit more parenting at the top. Right, okay. I want to talk about a journey like to now. Okay. Seven months in, with Ziggy, have we changed as people? Because I have changed a lot. Have I changed those? Yes, I have changed those. I think I'm less of a people pleaser. Was I ever a people pleaser? No, not really. I think I was in many ways. How are you a people pleaser?

1:16I like to please people. No, you don't. I do. You don't like to please people. I do. My friends. If my friends ask me for dinner and I'm too tired, I'm still going. No, you're not. No, I'm not. You're not a people pleaser. So I'm not a people pleaser at all. Not at all. How have I changed then? I think I'm kind of... Do you really think you're a people pleaser? Yeah. Everyone's a people pleaser, aren't they? No, I'm a people pleaser. Okay. I've become stronger and I know who I am more. And I think definitely in like work life, I have much more boundaries, which is like felt empowering because everything is back to Ziggy.

1:53Like the work I'm doing, it's back to Ziggy. So I'm not doing it to just fuck around and spend the day busying myself. I'm doing it for my son. I also, I'm not going to do anything that's like spending hours more. Like everything's streamlined. Everything's for him. I need to get back. I'm racing home to my son every time I finish anything, which is kind of wild. Should I tell you how I've changed? Please. I have had the same thing. I wasn't so much thinking always about a son, but I was just vacant, not there. I wasn't in my body. severe severe anxiety not anxiety sassy not anxiety sassy I just was not in my own body I think also it's a lot like sleep deprivation is a real thing and like every child's different right we've got so many friends whose baby slept for three months ten weeks whatever like Ziggy's seven months he doesn't sleep and like that is different it is a different situation it is a different experience like not sleeping is like really fucking tough I'm gonna put it out there it is okay so Nothing a little bit of concealer can't do and a matcha to your side.

2:56All right. So the good news is we're back, baby. Well, ladies and gentlemen, on that note, shall we get into the episode? Let's get into the episode. Hello, I'm Jamie Lang. And I'm Sophie Lang. And now we're newly parents. Oh, yeah, we are, baby.

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5:49I didn't know if I was coming or going up, I was left, right. I lost my identity. And you just got it back this minute. Not just this minute, but slowly by slowly over the course of the few weeks, I started to get it back. But I've started to get it back. I wonder why that was. I don't. Honestly, I really have only just got it back. No, I know what you mean. You feel a little bit like you lose your identity. And like, it feels really sad. Explain that to me. What do you mean? Because I want to explain it from a... mother from a woman point of view? Well, it's really hard because you feel really torn.

6:23Like you've lost your identity, but then you're so grateful and you love nothing more than being with your baby. But yet you're like, well, who am I? Am I, am I just Siggy's mom? Like, I didn't know what I should wear. I didn't know who I was. I didn't know how to communicate anymore. I didn't know how to socialize anymore. I lost like maybe my part. It felt like I'd lost my personality like my whole identity was just caring for my son and now at seven months I feel like that is my identity but also I'm coming back like I still feel like me when I talk to my friends I feel like me again that was a long time where like even talking to you right now I'd be thinking only about him whereas now it's like 50 50.

7:05Can I just also caveat like I don't I don't want to say that like I'm back because like I'm happy that I've come I'm I'm not gonna be back like I'm a different person since having my child. I don't, you still haven't explained what that means. I just am a different person. I can't explain it. Like, I'm fundamentally different. The way my brain thinks, my priorities, my likes, dislikes, like, everything has been rewired. So what do you like now that you didn't like before? I like, I don't know what I like, but I'll tell you what I don't like. Yeah. Late nights anymore. Mm-hmm. They fuck me up now.

7:38Okay, explain to you. I went for dinner with the girlies on Friday night. I actually went with like my mum so I've got I'm really lucky I've got loads of my friends have just had babies at the same time as me and we're all around the same age there are babies around the same age we were like guys let's go out like us girls me and these girls we partied like we you think you partied we partied no you didn't you had a loser no no no not the other night but like back in the day oh back in the day we partied like we we did it all we like go on girl as in like I'm saying we partied All right, well, I heard you.

8:13Let's freaking go, baby. Anyway. What did you do? Did you party? We partied. We had fun. Like, we were good time girls. Yeah, you were fun girls. We came out, all of us, we were like, what do we wear? Who do we speak with? Like, we didn't even want to walk into the fucking restaurant without each other. We were so like, what is going on? Then we came out for the first two hours. We were just like, baby, baby, look at my face. Because you didn't know what to say to each other. No, we knew what to say. We were just like, we're so rewired. We're just so different, but we had the fun this time. But anyway, I got home.

8:43And you were back at 11. 11 p.m. It screwed me. I thought I was going to kill over. I felt like I'd done a 4 a.m. The next day I was like, comatose. This isn't right. Okay, so hang on a second. So let's just establish this, right? Sophie has a wild night out on Friday night. Comes back at 11 p.m. All right? Crazy. You crazy girl. You go for it. Me, the big... And then I had Ziggy all Saturday because you had to go to Wimbledon. and you had to work on a job. It was great. You did that. So I looked after our baby all day. I then had the football in the evening. I then went to the football, got home around 1.30 in the morning.

9:18Yeah. 1.30 in the morning. I was really drunk. Oh boy, I was drunk. Because the England game was allowed to happen. 5.30 in the morning and I slept upstairs because I didn't want to wake up Sophie. No, I asked you don't come into my room. Yeah, but I also didn't want to wake you up. I didn't want to wake you up by clambering into bed. Okay, modern boy. Yeah, anyway You're a drunk pig Okay, then I went upstairs, slept upstairs 5.30 in the morning I wake up to Sophie standing above me holding Ziggy And she went, can you take him? I went, sorry Are you fucking kidding me? Like, what? It's 5.30 in the morning And I was like, what time is it?

9:56You're like, it's 5.30 It wasn't, it was 5.20 Jamie, Jamie No, no, Jamie Jamie, Jamie, I'm just going to put it out there When I went for dinner with my friends And got back at 11 you were hosting Pitbull so we had a wonderful babysitter looking after him so the minute I came back I took our son and looked after him all night he's sleeping my son doesn't sleep don't be fooled he doesn't sleep I got back I don't understand what your point is I don't really get it I'm like you're losing here so I don't know what you're trying to make out I don't know you went out tonight I got back at 11 and looked after him you got back at 1.30am and I waited till 5.30 until I said, can you have him for a minute?

10:38It was the way you did it. I woke up, you know, everyone get this, when you wake up in like a drunken, like you're still a little bit drunk and you're like, I wasn't drunk because I was holding my kid, but you know what I mean? You know, you're hungover, let's say, right? You're in that hungover state of being a bit like, oh my God. And it was 5.30 in the morning and you were just like, can you hold him? And honestly, honestly, when I was feeling hungover like that, I was like, I don't know what to do. So I took him off for you and just lay him in the bed next to me and just watched him for about 20 minutes.

11:08We just played. He just played with my hand. Then I thought, right, I have to get up and I have to go and do it. You, sleeping soundly. Yeah, I looked hard until 5 a.m., 5.30 a.m. I think that's absolutely fine. I got two hours sleep in the morning. Rock on. Oh, God, don't tell me this is back again. The rock sign is back, baby. I don't fucking know why that happens. Do you know what, for some reason, internally makes me angry? And I don't know why. And it really shouldn't. I, when I was hosting Pitbull, right, when I was hosting an event, I was chatting to a guy who's much younger than, me. I think he's, you know, in his late 20s or whatever.

11:39He's younger than me. And he, I said, man, how's life at the moment? He said to me, Jamie, how's life at the moment? I went, buddy, it's freaking great. I'm married, got kids. It's unbelievable. A kid, yeah. Yeah, but you know what I mean? I just, it's so great. I said, how's life with you, man? He went, it's freaking great. I'm living in Shoreditch. I'm going out every night. I'm partying. I'm having the best time. It's just unbelievable. It made me angry. It made me angry at him. And I went, I think I said to him, you're wasting a bit of your life, aren't you? My God, I don't know what it was.

12:17It made me irritated that he was saying that to me. Oh, I feel sorry for you. That's so touch it. You've not done those days. That's a bad place to be. What is a bad place? You don't want to feel angry at that. Like if someone told me that, I'd be like, oh God, I remember those days. Yeah. And they were fun. No, but he was just, it was just the way he said it made me irritated. We've really been enjoying our Wimbledon life this year. We had a great fucking time. I had a great time. I had a really fun time. I got dressed up. I ate my strawberries and cream. I did a couple dances. You know what I find?

12:55Who did you love watching? I loved watching Farrah. Sorry? I loved watching Skinner. I don't Frank Skinner you liked it don't I've never heard Ravi laugh out loud I've never heard that and that's what made me laugh I need to just give it to you so who do you love watching go Skinner what the hell is his name yeah you like watching Skinner Skinner no stop looking to people Skinner no guys no Skinner no honey who did you like watching I watched his speech and everything like I just am bad with names I know you are I watched his speech he was so sweet the woman kept trying to talk and he said, oh, should I carry on?

13:33And he thanked all of his people. He's only 23. He's a German guy. You're sort of mixing them both up, but you got it. You're nearly there. The German guy came second. So who came first? Cina. That's the one. Okay. And who wasn't playing? Who's the Spanish kid that you love? Alcaraz. Come on, lady. I know, because when I went to Wimbledon on the finals, I said Alcaraz and someone said, that's a prison. I was like, should have known that was coming for me. Anyway, our grass wasn't playing. Yeah. But it was a great season. And Sophie has started paddle, ladies and gentlemen, and I couldn't be more excited.

14:09Guys, I'm going to put out that I'm actually really good at sport. Like, I'm genuinely, I don't know why at school I wasn't good. Someone wrote under one of the post-sites, because I've had a baby, my reflexes are really good. I don't know, but I don't miss a ball. Like, I'm back bouncing off the window. I get it right back over. I'm soft, but it's like all going on. You're soft but firm. It's very good. I'm honestly so excited. Do you know why I'm excited? Why? Because we can go on holiday now, you and I. But we can't because someone has to look after Ziggy when we play paddle. But when he's old enough...

14:43Kids club. We go on holiday. I know, we go to Club Med. I went to Club Med when I was a kid in Turkey. And there was a news agent, like a magazine store in there. Oh, yeah. Yeah? And on the top shelf was a Playboy magazine. Yeah. I was about eight years old. And I went back into the room and looked at it. Didn't know what was going on. Well, what did you do? You didn't like start wanking at them, did you? I just want to know what I'm like in for having a son. I had like a funny feeling in me, but I didn't know what it was. I remember my first funny feeling. Okay, who was it with? Pirates of the Caribbean, Jack Sparrow.

15:19I remember sitting in the cinema and being like, what am I feeling? And then the second time... What was the feeling? Like, fanny flutters. is the only way to describe it. I was like, and I just watched it over and over and over again. In love with him. I mean, just besotted. Like my whole body was pulsating. And then the second time I really got a funny feeling was Magic Mike. And that was like really bad to watch that in the cinema. I was with my mom and my sister and it was awkward. We were all like... Hang on a second. Magic Mike is that sexy? Yeah. So if I... Big time. So if I go out to learn to dance and I come home and I do that on you.

15:58Yeah. Get the hell out of here. Yeah, if you could learn to dance like that. So if I could learn to dance like that and did that on you, would you not find that sexy? No, because I know you as a person. I would know inside you're awkward. You don't find any part of me sexy. I do, but you learning to do a dance like that and then performing it for me, I know you'd be hating every minute of it. No, because if I was really good at it. And so then it would make me awkward and like curl me up. I think it would do the opposite actually if you did that. Okay, great. If you learned to choreograph dance and performed it for me.

16:25If I learned to like breakdance and shake my booty in your face and like grind all over you, you wouldn't find that sexy. No, because I know deep down you wouldn't want to do it. Right. Okay. But it's true. You know deep down I would like to do a Magic Mike thing. So that's why it works. Yeah. Well, anyway, going back to Magic Mike. If you came back and said, honey, hey, honey. Why would I? They don't do that. Yeah, you would walk in. They don't go, honey, hey, honey. You would. You'd walk in. Rat-a-tat-tat. It's a man with his head I love that They don't go Honey In fact I really would like to go see Magic Mike I think as a mother So how would you do it then?

17:08If you walked and you learnt this I just would break He doesn't exactly do something Channing Tatum just like looks And then he like gets down and dirty I would do that to you I said it and I'll say it again Channing Tatum is up there with one of the sexiest men alive Say that down the camera to Channing No Why not? Because I feel embarrassed. You actually looked a bit posy then. You went a bit posy because you think Channing Tatum's going to be watching this. No, I don't think that. You just really like to embarrass me in front of everyone. If I go and do, if I learn how to move... Jamie, Jamie, I love you desperately, but it's something you're born with, being able to have rhythm and you don't have it.

17:42I have fucking rhythm. I have rhythm. You have a little bit of rhythm. I got to the final of Strictly Come Dancing. I got the skin at your teeth. I still got to the final of Strictly Come Dancing. You can't do that without rhythm. You also were in the last two every final. I would if I did that if I got that dance sorted right and I came back home and I performed it on you would that really make you excited? Oh my god yeah how many times have I just had to say yes if a person can dance like that it's very sexy Have you ever tried to twerk in your life? My friend Bella can twerk like nobody else Arabella Smith?

18:16Arabella Smith can twerk like nothing else No Yes she can she's been twerking since we're 18 years old I just don't think she can twerk She can twerk. She can twerk. She's incredibly heavily pregnant. She's also nine months pregnant. I don't think that would be a good time to twerk. No. So I'm not going to send her a message. Bella, can you send me a video of you twerking? Don't ever send her a message saying, can you send me a video of you twerking? Don't ever, ever do that to her. She's one of my sweetest girlfriends in the world. I know, but she also... I would say that to her in a heartbeat.

18:44I'm going to send Bella a message right now. Oh my God. I'm going to send Bella a message right now. Okay, hang on. True or false? I've just asked. Okay, going back to your paddle. Why do you love paddles so much? It's so easy. Like, why are we not all playing paddles? Why is anyone playing tennis when you can just play paddles? It's like the easy man's sport. I thought you loved Wimbledon. I do love Wimbledon, but I'm not going to be playing in Wimbledon. I'm not very good at tennis. I don't understand all the rules. You think you're going to play the world championship paddle? Maybe. I was good.

19:11At 39, you're not going to do it. I'm 31. I asked my instructor, I said, look, listen, my dad plays really regularly and my husband thinks he's really good but he's nowhere near a professional. When can I play with them? He said, at your level, one more lesson. That's what he said. Call Willis and ask him how good I was. I played with Willis. You are very coordinated. We've seen you play catch. We've seen you catch. The internet's gone wild. Don't worry, I went through my legs at one point. I kicked it back. Kicked it? With the paddle. I've got really nice wrist action. The, the... I don't understand.

19:48I didn't say anything. I did not say anything The great thing is this Is that the internet Has seen how coordinated you are Playing catch You're very good Picking up things with your toes You're excellent All of it is very very good I'm excited Because Is that Would you find that very sexy If I was good at paddle Over me dancing I find you really sexy anyway Your whole being is sexy You are a sexy person You're smart You're intelligent I love it You're charming I am intelligent

20:22here you are Savi and I had a big argument yesterday just to quickly talk about how intelligent we are because we didn't know what the name of the hangers were that you put your clothes on I thought it was a cloak hanger and I said what are you Harry Potter? Savi I thought it was a cloak hanger you thought it was a what? coat hanger I thought it was a clothes hanger but actually it's a coat hanger What the fuck? What do you think it is? A what hanger? I thought it was a clothes hanger No you didn't You thought it was a coat hanger No it is a coat hanger You're absolute idiot I thought it was a clothes hanger You thought it was a cloak In fact it's a coat I really think they're all the same I really do I think a cloak was a bit weird Because none of us wear cloaks At least clothes is very normal And clothes, coat, same thing I would wear a cloak I love a cloak You have a few cloaks If we have an argument Argument?

21:20If we have an argument If we have an argument Somehow I end up losing it every single time And I don't know how or why I lose it Even if I know I'm in the right Even if I know I disagree I think you're very good in arguments And I actually give up with you No, you're very good How good am I at arguments? Phenomenal And then the way you'll end it The way Sophie ends it when she's having a fight If we're having a real good one Sophie will end with something like God you give me the ick No that's really I'll be like That's a new one And it's not something I actually do It's a new one Yes you do No I did it I did it coming back From Ibiza And I've done it Maybe one more time since Yeah we've just got back From Ibiza Yeah so I've done it twice In like the last two weeks Because I think Because of the Love Island I'm hearing the ick And I'm like Fuck that's savage When someone says that Like that is like A low blow So naturally now My link to my biggest Low blow is ick So I'm like You give me the ick But I will say There are certain things What did you say That I did That gave you the ick You never give me the ick If you gave I think if someone Gives you the ick You truly You're fucked Like you shouldn't be With somebody You never give me the ick I do You looked at me The other day And you said I'm not attracted to you anymore But then you followed it By a laugh You tried to be serious But you laughed Well what was I doing I think I was like Eating Which is really mean No I wasn't What was I doing And you went I'm not attracted to you anymore That is such a lie But you laughed You laughed afterwards I knew you weren't being serious You couldn't even keep a straight face That's not true I've never said that to you You did I think I said You give me the air And you're like Well I'm not attracted to you anymore Okay so it was in an argument Yeah for sure You didn't just come up to me On a random Sunday morning And go hey by the way I'm not attracted to you anymore We were deep in the depths Of a pitting argument What was our pitting argument I don't know But it was so silly Your comment That you even made yourself laugh by it Hang on Caveat that for one second And Arabella Smith, true.

23:14Told you. She can twerk. Send me a video. And she says, no, I'm not sending you a video.

23:25Oh, Bella. So funny. Bella, please send a video. Please. I can't believe you can do it. Bella, I told him that you can twerk. You're a full twerker. And he said, I'm going to ask her. I said, do not ask her that. Send a video, Bella. Send a video now. Okay. Anyway. Listen, I keep having awkward encounters at the moment Have you had any awkward encounters recently? Oh my god, I had the most awkward encounter ever yesterday Okay, so we're doing a photo shoot Willis doing my hair, Nicolette's doing my makeup And my agent walks in and I say Guys, this is Madeline And Willis goes, who the fuck is Madeline?

23:59From the song, Who the fuck is Madeline? Yeah, from? Lily Allen Who the fuck is Madeline My agent, who has never heard that song Goes, oh, I'm Sophie and Jamie's agent I actually wanted the ground to swallow me up because Willis took too long to say no no it's a song so then I was like no no that's a song don't worry he wasn't saying to you who the fuck is Madeline can you just imagine yeah I can imagine it's terrible it's actually shocking the whole thing awkward days awkward days awkward days no we're getting autumn days falling on autumn leaves Ladies and gentlemen, on that note, it's time for...

24:44Listeners Messages!

25:08swelling, and fatigue. And for those who have plaque psoriasis, 90 % clearer skin is possible. With SkyRizzy, there's no daily dosing. It's just four doses a year after two starter doses. Don't use if allergic to SkyRizzy. Serious allergic reactions, increased infections, or lower ability to fight them may occur. Before treatment, get checked for infections and tuberculosis. Tell your doctor about any flu-like symptoms or vaccines. Thanks to SkyRizzy, there's nothing like clearer skin and better movement. And that means everything.

25:42Ask your doctor about SkyRizzy. Visit SkyRizzy.com or call 1-866-SKYRizzy to learn more.

25:52This message is brought to you by today's sponsor, Walden University. Set a course for change. Now is the time to make a real change in your life, career, and community. At Walden University, we give you the support and flexibility to get the W. Walden's online programs are designed for working professionals like you. You'll gain hands-on skills to take on real-world challenges and succeed. Your future is waiting and Walden is here to help you achieve it. Take the first step to make your impact. Visit waldenu.edu. Walden University. Set a course for change. Certified to operate by Shev. Hey, this is Paige from Giggly Squad.

26:30You know I love a seasonal closet refresh, including my active wear. And YPB by Abercrombie has me covered for fall. The YPB Studio Flex Sets are so soft and comfortable. I'm wearing them everywhere from Pilates class to weekend brunches. Plus with colors like dark green, navy, and maroon. It all says fall in the best way. Get your active wear ready for the changing seasons with YPB by Abercrombie. Shop in the app, online, and in stores. Hi, it's Brooke DeVard, host of Naked Beauty, and I want to talk about how I upgrade my hosting experience. There's a moment just before guests arrive when my home stops feeling like a series of rooms and it becomes an atmosphere.

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27:48If you've been putting it off, you're not alone, but timely screening matters. Let's talk about what isn't talked about. Talk to your provider or request Cologuard Plus online, Rx only. Well, ladies and gentlemen, welcome back to Listener's Messages. Thank you every single time for sending them in. We love them, we hear them, we listen to them, we laugh at them. You're our community. You're our community. You're who keep us going, so please don't stop. And if you're sitting next to someone who's not listening to Newly Parents, why don't you tell them to listen to it? Go and say, hey, you, you little shit.

28:22Why don't you go and subscribe to our show? That's what they should be doing. You know what else people should do? If you see people listening to newly parents on the podcast, on the tube or in a bus, you should go and make friends with them. Because you know what? Life's full of non-connections anymore because of social media. And you should use that as your end to get chat, chat, chatting away. Might make a new best friend. You might have a boyfriend. You might get a girlfriend. You might. All right. Well, let's work this out. If you get onto the tube, how would you spark up a conversation? I would say, oh my God, I love those people that you're listening to.

28:52Sorry, these people that I'm listening to. And I love Sophie. Jamie's all right. but Sophie is so great. Well, you only liked Jamie a little bit? Literally parents and the hosts I really like. Okay, what do you like about Jamie? Not much. You don't? You don't think he's like a sweet pea? He's all right. You don't think he's a sweet pea? He's a sweet pea, okay. All right, lady, okay. Okay, I've got one. Go. Pregnancy story from Susie. Hi, Jamie and Sophie. This is a story to prove that every now and then a miracle really does happen. Shortly after my husband and I got married, we found out that fertility problems affecting both of us meant our chances of conceiving naturally were extremely low.

29:28After a year and a half of trying, my husband suddenly said, let's go away, we need something to pick us up. That night, we packed our bags, we drove to the airport, but the first flight we could find, Florence. We ate, we drank, we danced and reminded ourselves how beautiful our life still was, even if it wasn't going to look how we'd imagined. A few weeks after we got home, my period didn't arrive. I quietly bought some pregnancy tests Took them into the bathroom and waited with my heart in my mouth They were positive Come on girl That's giving me goosebumps Yeah goosebumps I was convinced they must be wrong so I took three more Every single one said the same thing I broke down crying My husband ran in He saw the test on the floor and looked at me With my voice shaking I said we're pregnant On July 19th we welcomed our beautiful baby girl into the world We named her Florence After the weekend that gave us everything we had ever wanted That is what fucking life is about And that is the best story ever Let's go guys That is so beautiful in every single way I love that you named her Florence Like we named Ziggy After the place where we conceived him Unbelievable Unbelievable Alright honey I got one You're over for this A wild story from David Or David Hi Jamie and Sophie I have an embarrassing story From a flight I took with my girlfriend and her parents My girlfriend couldn't get a seat next to me So she ended up sitting directly behind me on the plane About halfway through the flight I thought I'd be cute and reach my hand back between the seats and place it on her knee.

30:52She didn't... She didn't react. So I slowly started moving my hand further up her thigh. Then I heard giggling. I turned around into my shock. I realized my hand wasn't on my girlfriend's leg at all. It was halfway up the leg of a man sitting next to her, who apparently decided to stay completely silent and not acknowledge what was happening. My girlfriend was in stitches laughing. and her parents had also seen the whole thing unfold, which made it even worse. I spent the rest of the flight staring straight ahead, too embarrassed to turn around again. That is so funny. That is so funny. All right, give me another story.

31:30This is a ghost story from Sarah. God, I love a ghost story. Hi, Sophie and Jamie. Go make it spooky. No, you don't need to do that to make it spooky. Ooh. Hi, Sophie and Jamie. I have a creepy story to add to the lack of sleep you're dealing with. Scary? Close your eyes and listen to them. When I was younger, I used to sleepwalk all the time. My family had just moved into a new house that was strangely much cheaper than every other one on the road. Apparently, an older couple had lived there for years. The neighbours said they often heard strange noises coming from the house. Before the couple suddenly left under mysterious circumstances.

32:17usually i'd sleepwalk into the living room say something nonsensical and take myself back to bed but in this house it got much stranger one night i walked into the living room and stood silently in the corner my mom and dad started laughing until i looked my mom down in the eyes and whispered run oh my fucking god i'm gonna just say that again i whispered run she said the room suddenly felt freezing my dad carried me back upstairs but a few hours later they found me downstairs again standing completely straight face and laughing in a voice that didn't sound like mine my mom said she had never seen my dad look so scared we didn't stay in the house for long I still sleepwalk occasionally But I can't out wondering what was in the house with us that night That's utterly terrifying It was utterly, butterly terrifying Utterly, butterly terrifying Alright, listen ladies and gentlemen As always, please keep sending in your gorgeous, gorgeous, gorgeous messages We love them We bloody love them That's the end of listeners' messages It's like this, that's the end of listeners' messages That's the end of listeners' messages Right, love That's the end of Do you know, hey, listen If you want to get in touch You can It's very simple All you've got to do Is you've got to It's like this If you want to get in touch You can It's very simple That's good You've just got to go to What is it?

33:47Love again? It's very simple It's Jampop Production That's it It's Jampop Production No it's not It's newlyparents It's newlyparents At At jampopproductions.co.uk That's it guys It's very simple Just get in touch And they can slide into our DMs And you could always slide into our DMs if you find that too tricky. You just go and pop onto Instagram and you can slide into our DMs at Newly Parents Podcast. And we'll be there to answer them. How about that? It's the end of listeners' measures, baby! So, by the way, there are certain things in life that I've been finding confusing. I'm aware. And I want to talk through them and see if you can add anything to the list.

34:30And for anyone who's listening right now, let me know what you think. There are certain things I find in life confusing. I'm going to read them to you, all right? Because there are. You ready for this? Okay. These are the things that I find confusing still in life. First one is, why your parents went crazy when you turned the light on the back of the car while you were driving? Well, I can tell you because they did go mad, but it was also because you couldn't see the light of the car coming behind you. Yes, you can. It was a reflection. You wouldn't be able to see the distance. That's actually quite dangerous.

34:59Okay, another one. Why you can't use the same pair of scissors in both hands? That I don't know. It's very weird. That's mad, that is. If you try and cut a scissors with your right hand and then with your left hand, it doesn't work on the left hand. It doesn't. Well, I know why. Because you flip it and so your thumb and your finger. Big one. Why are there 28 days in February? Don't fucking know. Try and work it out. It's just the way it has to be.

35:22I've got one. No, just quickly, because we've done this a million times before, but I want to see if you know now. Days in the year. Go. 362. Not quite. You're close. You're very close. Days in the year. How many days in the year? Oh, my God, please, 365, obviously. Come on, honey. And how many weeks in the year? 52. Come on, baby. And how many months? 12. Yeah, sure, dear. You nailed it. Okay, why some people can silence sneeze. Now, Sophie Haboo can do this. Can you not? No. Oh, I can silence sneeze. I can silent anything if I put my mind to it. Why? My mum said I can't swim right after eating lunch.

35:56Gonna sink, yeah. That was weird. How fax machines work. That's the most mental thing. I actually think you can't swim after lunch. I think you get stitch. And so if you get stitch, you actually, then it's really hard and you could drown. Why a fax, how a fax machine works is the, I remember the first time I saw her on a fax machine. I was at Hathaway Castle School. Shout out the greatest schooler in the world. I must meet up five years old. And one of the teachers said, we've got something called a fax machine. Do you want to come see it? And I was like, boy, would I. God, you're old.

36:26It was strictly emails and printers when I was at school. Not when you were five. Yes, when I was five, Jamie. I am seven years younger than you. Six. Anyway, I went in there and the teacher's friend went to the house. They printed a, sent a photo and it arrived. It arrived through the machine. It arrived through the machine. What I really don't understand is firstly... So what really confuses you in life? Go. I don't understand... Just shout things out. Portugal, why is it the same time zone as England, but not Spain when actually it's a three-hour drive? What else confuses you? I don't know.

37:04That's all I got for you. I don't know. Life feels pretty simple to me. Well, ain't you a lucky little shit. You're a little shit, man. All right, ladies and gentlemen, last week on our episode, if you listened to it, if you haven't listened to it, go back and check it out. We have started this new thing called Newly Founded. It's a new little segment where we shout out people's businesses that we think are amazing. We shout out tips and tricks that people have sent in. So if you have anything, and we want to shout it out, because these things are amazing, and we go through them, right? So this is from Imogen.

37:32And she's shouting out her friend Laura, who is a single mom who runs Little Bear Boutique, which is an amazing parenting children's shop. It has children's clothes, it has lots of different things. Apparently, it's incredible. Okay, here we go. Laura is a single mom who runs Little Bear Boutique around parenting her little one. Most evenings, once her child is asleep and during nursery hours, She's packing orders, updating the shop and keeping the business running. She also personally makes and paints orders herself. So every item is handmade with care and attention. She really does juggle it all and deserves a shout out for everything she's achieving.

38:10That's amazing. We're cheering you on and wishing you every bit of success. Go and check it out. Being a mom and doing all of that. Holy moly. Mi o ma. Mi o ma. Do you know whenever I hear the name Imogen, do you know what I think of? Where are we? Walk those hills What's going on? Are you joking me? Imogen Heap No, we're young I'm young, you little fuck We're young, you old spinster Alright, spinster, listen We would love you to keep shouting out these incredible people These communities These people who deserve a shout out So if you've got a person If you've got a product If you've got a business Or you're just an amazing parenting hat you'd love us to feature on Newly Founded.

38:53Email us at newlyparents at jamperproductions.co.uk or you can sign to our DMs. Newly Parents Podcast. Yeah, little babies. Right, let's go, sassy pants. All right, sassy. Listen, I've loved being here every step of the way. I really am happy to be back, I will say. It feels like a fresh new set of eyes. All right, well, listen, you absolute legends out there. Legends of the Fool. What a great movie with Brad Pitt. Jamie, we've got to do a little story now. Holy smokes, we do. We have story time. Ha, so whatever you're doing, you little puppets. Now, tuck yourself up in bed. Right, listen, love.

39:28Just get yourself down there. Get a little snuggly and we'll read you a little story, won't we? Oh, hell of it. Anyway, this week our bedtime story is about a little man called Jamie who dreamt of being a tennis star. But alas, he was too short to hit the ball over the net. Oh, that tiny Jamie. I think I've heard about him before. He's got ginger hair, hasn't he? Are you ready? I'm ready. You begin, girl. now once upon a time there was a lovely lovely little man named jim he was tiny he was oh i think he might have been like five foot three but listen he wore these lovely shoes that he got from amazon and they gave him a little tiny lift so he felt like he was as tall like all the other big strong men but actually he was just a wee little thing he was but every day he slid those big feet into those little shoes from Amazon.

40:19And he went about his merry way as though he was the same size as all the other men in the world. What happened to little Jamie? Now, Jamie, he loved sports. He was a very good sportsman, I'll give it to him. He was very, he had a good hand-eye coordination. He was great at running because he was small. He was low down. He was near to the ground. What else was Jamie good at? He was good with rugby again. Low to the ground. He was stocky as well. Solid lad. Lots of muscle, big glutes. but the poor boy he was just desperate he desperately wanted to be a tennis player like those tall strong men so one day he said mommy mommy because yes he called his mom mommy and he said mommy please pay for me to have a tennis lesson so she said all right jamie she paid for him to have a tennis lesson and another one and the tennis coach said look i'm so sorry penny but he's just never gonna be able to pay he's too small and even those little heels from Amazon aren't going to do it.

41:15But he persevered. And what happened next, Jamie? I don't know what happened next. So he persevered and he persevered and years went on. And he tried and he tried, but the Amazon shoes wouldn't let him do it. They just, they didn't give him the lift that he needed. So one day, he got onto a match. He managed to wrinkle his way in because he had the gift of the gab. He chatted everyone's ears off. That's pretty lovely. He was very charismatic, that Jamie. I love that. And so we went and he played with all the tool men, you know, all the normal-sized lads. And there was little Jamie in his little heels from Amazon.

41:52And they disqualified him. They found out he was wearing the shoes and they said, I don't care how talented you are, Jamie. I don't care that you can hit a ball as fast as Sinner. You are too short. And he said, do you know what that is? That's heightest. Do you know what? So just tell me, what's the moral of the story? The moral of the story is, don't be rude about people's heights. Just because you're short doesn't mean you don't have talent. And on that note, ladies and gentlemen, we're going to see you next week. If you enjoyed the show, please subscribe and also tell your friends about it.

42:30And of course, we can't wait to be back. If you're getting married. Good luck. If you're getting engaged. We love you. If you're getting divorced. We love you even more. Goodbye, goodnight, goodbye. If you're having a baby. Oh my God, good luck. It's best I can ever. We love you so much. We'll see you next week for another episode of Newly Parents. Let's go. Goodbye.

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46:02Thank you.