Sophie REVEALS Jamie's Biggest Secret!?

0:00You know you're listening to... You raise me up so I can stand on mountain. Okay, anyway, listen, I need to tell you this. Do you remember in like choirs, at like the carol concert, Once in Royal David City was sung? Once in Royal David City lived a hungry little man. Not quite. That's not quite right. Who actually knows the words of all these songs? I know all the words. I know, you fucking love doing a carol song Yeah, actually, do you know what I do? I was always jealous of that little boy He used to sing And I thought, someday that could be me So this is how I do it No, I just want to interrupt quickly Because I mean people, the listeners, I'm saying Do you know when you go to a wedding And you have to stand up and do the hymn, right?

0:45And everyone's like barely singing And it's like once in Royal David City What hymns do you sing? I vow to thee, my country I vow to thee Okay, so that's everyone's like I vow to thee This is Jamie I'm not fucking with you I vow to be my country And I'm like My family are like And I'm like Yeah, that's him And he It's a wedding I don't know why Yeah, sorry that you're a timid little shit I don't know why you do that Why do you Because it's beautiful And it's a time to let out your voice And just sing Because I like it, alright If I was that little choir boy And I got to sing Once in a row, David City This is how I do it Once in Royal David City Spooder I had a little crack on him.

1:40It's really good, just an interruption. It's very...

1:51But the tune's not bad. In a man But for his blood Shall we get into the episode? Oh yeah, I'm going to die, Australian Should I hold my breath? Hold it Hello, I'm Jamie Lang And I'm Sophie Lang And now, we're newly parents Oh yeah, we are, baby

2:18Hi, this is Becca Moore from For The Girls And this podcast is sponsored by Aerie where you can find the right bra in 59 sizes, soft fabrics, and good fits. If your bra strap is digging into your shoulder right now, it's the wrong bra. We get so used to being in pain as girls that we forget it doesn't have to be this way. Your clothes should not hurt. I got to the point where I stopped wearing bras altogether. And now my life has changed, you guys. The only bras I have in my dresser right now are Aerie, and I'm not kidding. Aerie's on a mission to make you feel good, and that starts with your bra.

2:45Your bra should hold you in, not back. Visit Aerie.com to find the right bra for you. You stopped waiting for permission and started building yourself, your dreams, your credit. Experian Boost could turn your on-time payments into instant FICO score gains. Every bill you paid could become proof of your power. Self-made? Absolutely. Self-funded? Experian could help you get there. Download the Experian app today. Results will vary. Not all payments are Boost eligible. Some may not see improved scores or approval odds. Not all lenders use credit information impacted by Experian Boost. See Experian.com for details.

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4:00Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, welcome to Newly Parents. We are new parents. I am Sophie and this is Jamie. And we are husband. And wife. And we are in love. We are. No, we are desperately in love. That is very, very true. Apart from, at the moment, Sophie is so obsessed with Love Island, I can't get her away from it. Sink or swim. Like, get on board. My TV should be sued because my wife is fully addicted. I come in from a long day. Do you know what I want? A little cuddle. Love Island is at 9pm. It's not... And what time do I work till? Not 9pm. You went for dinner last night and had loads of pasta and loads of chicken and I rocked our baby to sleep and then put Love Island on when he fell asleep.

4:42Well played. I see how you did it there. Anyway, I'm over Love Island because I'm just going to talk to you ITV producers. Why the fuck are you not filming Cavan Jazz? No one cares about anyone else. I just want Cavan Jazz. They're not on my screen anymore. Cavan, the most aloof character to ever grace Love Island. His name's Cavan? It adds to his aloofness. Cavan, never heard of anyone called Cavan. Sovia's literally obsessed with this bloke. He is like a young, young. He's like a whippersnapper. He's 21. He's the same age that we were when we were at university. Look, anyway, the point is that I come home from a long day.

5:16I just want attention when I come home. That's what I want. And I'm not needy. You are needy. You are a needy soul. And that's just, that is absolutely fine. Because I'm growing to love the neediness. Because that is what my son's going to be. And I can't wait for him to be needy for me. Although he's not very needy. He is needy, trust me. He's not. Ziggy would be handed to somebody in the street and be like, hello. He loves everyone. I don't hear him crying out for mama. he's like anyone can help me he cries out for Dada I hear it the whole time anyway my point is you're addicted to Love Island and it needs to stop and you need to like get there's only two more weeks left and I don't really know what I'll do when it's over so while you're listening to this it's the final week of Love Island thank God great show congratulations everyone who's been on it Sophie's fallen in love with Cav I hope we can get Cav on the show and Jazz Jazz you've low-key fallen you were like Jazz seems like a cool girl I was like what from the one word do you have to say or do you just think she's 10 because she is a 10 is she a 10 she's a 10 yeah she's so sensational can I tell you something that really made me laugh more than anything please you feel distracted what are you thinking about it was just we haven't mentioned it yet on the podcast but it's one of the funniest things I've ever seen oh I know what you're going to say the bath it's not funny everyone Sophie was holding Stinky our baby and as she was slowly into the bath, there was a rug on the ground.

6:47It's not a rug. I'm over you calling everything a rug. It was a fucking bath mat. You call a tea towel a rug. You call a hairdryer a rug. Everything's a rug. She slid. She slid on the rug. It's not a rug. It was a bath mat. She slid on the rug. As she slid, she went into full mum protective mode as she sort of fell forward and the side of the bath. Guys, it was painful, let me tell you. Okay, I'm going to tell the story. The side of the bath nailed her throat. So I'm holding Ziggy and I slip, I'm bending and my foot's on this stupid fucking bath mat that I say every time, don't put the bath mat on the floor, it's so slippy.

7:29Jamie, OCD Jamie, with the bath mat, puts it on the floor. So my foot slips, I go shooting to the back And like, I have to keep my arms, so I don't want to drop him. So I just hold on to him. And like, my whole body slams into the bath, the side of the bath. I thought my Adam's apple, or whatever the fuck you call it, had actually just been chopped in half. Like, my neck was gone. And I was like, that's it. I'll never be able to speak. And it was like... Her throat stopped. My throat stopped. Thank God I've got such a long neck. Sophie got up and she was like, oh my God. My throat, I'm really bruised.

8:08I'm so bruised since having a child because I'm constantly, like, protecting him. And my body's just bruised all over. I don't really know what's going on. That's so good. Sorry, it must have been so funny because I'm just this lanky thing and I just fall straight onto my neck. Have you ever had one of those moments with Ziggy without me where you're like, oh, my God, whoa, that was scary? Yeah, once I... I can't wait. Once I had, like, pajamas on. so I actually was wearing my postpartum I was wearing my pregnancy pajamas right I don't know why I kept putting them on because they would every time I walked they'd just fall to the ankles because I didn't have a stomach anymore but lo and behold I put them on and I was walking up our wooden stairs and they just fell down and my foot stood on them and so I again did the same thing tripped and I was like and I caught him and fell on my knees kept him solid he didn't even wake up from his nap you haven't told me that you were on the stairs destroyed or flound my knees onto the word knees, knee bone cracked.

9:07I heard it a little bit. It's really scary. That is the scary thing. Yeah, it is scary. I find that really intense. It is really intense. You've just got to be really careful. Don't wear pajamas that are too big for you. I don't. It's actually safer to just walk around naked so you're not getting pulled or hooked on anything. Oh, my God. Anyway, my beautiful wife, who I love more than anything in this entire world, I do have a bone to pick with you this week. Okay. You are so distracted with your phone. When I speak to you now, and I think it's because you're so concentrating on being a mum the entire day, that when it comes to the end of the day or the beginning of the day, the times that I get to see you, you're so distracted you don't speak to me.

9:45I can say Sophie and you won't even hear me say it. You do know that I am at work. Like I'm not on mat leave. So I have a thousand emails and texts to get through every single day. I need to reply to my friends. I have to reply to my work. You don't reply to your friends. I do. So what do you think I do? Alright, here we go. I'm going to play a little game. I'm going to play a little game for our listeners. Pass your phone here, honey. Alright, I'm going to go on to WhatsApp. Unread messages. What do you think it is, guys? I reckon you've got like 60 unread. 60 unread? But like, there's going to be some old ones.

10:21Yeah, like group chat. Let's have a vote. Do we think 60 is a lot of unread messages on WhatsApp? I think higher. You guys are crazy. Gaming has null at all times. It's 100 a lot. Is 100 a lot? Okay, Sophie Haboo, 148 unread messages. 148. Oh, my text, that's even better. Oh, my God. Where are your texts? Your texts aren't even here. They're with my mail. I don't know why. Oh, my God, it doesn't even have a number. You know now how important you ask me. Should we go to your inbox on your emails that you haven't replied to? 1 ,344. And also, you've read someone haven't replied to them. Yeah. So what are you doing when you're distracted?

10:57That's how many people message me. I'm really popular. How many messages do you get a day? A lot. Genuinely a lot. I would say like 200 WhatsApps a day. 200? Yeah, for sure. Okay, can you walk me through this? Because guys and girls are a little bit different, right? This is what I've worked out. The way that I communicate with my friends or with my family. It's hell. What is hell? The way you communicate with your friends. Why? I would be like, there's no point in communicating with the level of communication you have. Do you even call them? No. And if you do, what is it? Hi, yeah, all good. And then you, I know what you do.

11:29you always use me and Ziggy as a cop-out because you don't know what to say. So you'll be like, it's just tiring having a kid, isn't it? Yeah. So it's just like, you know, she doesn't want to sleep train, so it's just tiring. That's your conversation. It's not my conversation. I know it is. It's not my conversation. I know it is. Whereas mine is about Kavam. We're talking about Love Island. We're talking about... Love Island. Paris Hilton. We're talking about babies. We're talking about our feelings. We're talking about our periods. We're talking about everything. So on Love Island, explain to me this.

11:58They do this thing at the beginning, right? which is where they introduce themselves. What would be your intro? What would you say? Hi, I'm Sophie and I'm a podcaster. Is that sexy? I would say this. This is what I would do. I know what you say. I know exactly what you do. You would go... It would be like dancing and you'd be like this, shoulders out like... You know how you do in the TikTok site. And then you go, I'm the sweetie man. My Botox won't allow me to do it but you'd like pull this weird face that you do. where you like act that you're smiling. You know when you do your, you know you take a photo of you and you're like, does anyone remember eating crunchy cornflakes?

12:38And you post it on your Instagram and I don't fucking know why you're doing it. That's the energy you'd give to Love Island. That I really do want you to stop because it's giving Boomer, it's giving Desperate and it's giving No One Cares. Yeah, hang on a second. That's not fair. What I would say with this if I'm going to Love Island. And also you would do it in your dinosaur pyjamas. And I don't know why you think they're sexy, but I think, I think you think they're giving a bit of Justin Bieber-esque. Because you know Justin will wear like... No, I'm not thinking about Justin Bieber. Why are you wearing those Christmas dinosaur pyjamas then every week?

13:15Because they're just comfortable. But why would you wear them publicly? I have a lot of comfortable clothes, but I'm not posing myself in a big 90. Because I don't care what I post. I'm a free spirit. This would be my Love Island thing, all right? hey everybody oh god I'll do this hey everybody how you doing my name's Jamie I'm 5 foot 10 I've got blonde hair and I'm a cheeky chappy and I run a sweets business that would be it is that not good and what would you do would you turn off your light or whatever they do I would turn off my light would you do that and then Paddy McGuinness would come out and go no lighty no lighty and then I would be Is that still going, that program?

13:57Yeah, it's Love Island. Pani McGuinness is the head of Love Island. Shut up. I love the guy, Ian. But there are so many shows that, generally, we're in TV. We could go on some really great shows. We could. Like, we've never done, I'm a celebrity. Never done it. Never done Big Brother. I've done Strictly. Would you go on Big Brother? I would never go. I got asked to do Big Brother. I will say something. Big Brother to me is like, you couldn't physically pay me to go on Big Brother. Couldn't do it. Like that is hell. You are in a house for three weeks. You don't even know whether it's light or day outside.

14:31Well, there's windows. You think it's a blackout house? I thought it was a blackout house. You think they just... I've never watched Big Brother. I've never been into it. It gives me anxiety. You thought they just put them in a house with no windows? I thought it was a blacked out house. They don't know whether it's night or day. What would be the point of that? We'll just like to make them go star crazy. I thought the whole point of Big Brother is you're meant to go star crazy and then like you start doing weird shit. You've never watched Big Brother? No, I don't like Big Brother. I'm going to put it out there come for me I don't like it I find it very anxiety provoking and it reminds me of Emmerdale gives me the same feeling Emmerdale gives me which is a dark dingy scared feeling anxious homesick no thank you not for me if I come home and want to watch The Chase not allowed to watch it no anxious don't want to watch it it's giving like Bargain Hunters you know with the tanned man like I don't want to watch Big Brother I don't want to watch Bargain Hunters and I don't want to watch Emmerdale I don't want to watch EastEnders?

15:25Yeah. EastEnders is alright. Get out of my pub. I like EastEnders. I also like Hollyoaks was alright. You were in Hollyoaks, weren't you? Yes, I was. I've never seen that to this day. Why? No one has. It was one episode. We should really resurface that. Would you ever do Naked Attraction? No, but you should. Yeah, well, I could. You're like quite... That would be your USP. The problem is that, you know, naked attraction how it starts is they just you see their legs that's all you see problem with me is that you would also see my penis

16:04you would see your that is just I knew you were going to think you were thinking of what things to say what is it because also just to let you all know that's not true what is it when it's like wisteria on your house it would be like wisteria coming out of the bottom okay well then let's be honest let's be honest I've been doing you a solid because you've actually got a fucking micro dick and I've just been pretending that it's the opposite because I felt bad for you all these years and there's nothing wrong with it you should embrace it but I do think naked attraction is wild that people do that being like yeah this is me I definitely think I could be a nudist I really think Sophie and I were in Ibiza we spoke about it a couple of episodes ago we were in Ibiza and we went to a beach it was lovely but it was a nudist beach and there were two men who were proud nudists great bodies unbelievable great everything They look like sculptures.

16:53Great bodies, great strong butts. Yeah, tanned. Tanned penises. I didn't realise a penis could get tanned. They climbed the rocks. And I was like, oh my God, they've gone. Where are they? And they were just blending into the rock. They were like these two naked men, like rock climbing, rock climbing. They were rock climbing. And I was like, that's fucking cool. Well, listen, on that note, ladies and gentlemen, you know what freaking time it is. It's time for... Listener's Messages!

17:25Hi, this is Becca Moore from For The Girls, and this podcast is sponsored by Aerie, where you can find the right bra in 59 sizes, soft fabrics, and good fits. If your bra strap is digging into your shoulder right now, it's the wrong bra. We get so used to being in pain as girls that we forget it doesn't have to be this way. Your clothes should not hurt. I got to the point where I stopped wearing bras altogether, and now my life has changed, you guys. The only bras I have in my dresser right now are Aerie, and I'm not kidding. Aerie's on a mission to make you feel good, and that starts with your bra.

17:52Your bra should hold you in, not back. Visit aerie.com to find the right bra for you. You stopped waiting for permission and started building yourself, your dreams, your credit. Experian Boost could turn your on-time payments into instant FICO score gains. Every bill you paid could become proof of your power. Self-made? Absolutely. Self-funded? Experian could help you get there. Download the Experian app today. Results will vary. Not all payments are Boost eligible. Some may not see improved scores or approval odds. Not all lenders use credit information impacted by Experian Boost. See Experian.com for details.

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19:07Okay, welcome back to Listener's Messages. I am going to go first. Okay, I have a dating story from Anonymous. Hi, Jamie, and hello, Sophie. Hello. I have a first date story that quite literally ended with me breaking my ass. Can I just go to you before I start this? I remember almost breaking my ass. And I'm not even joking. I was rollerblading. I was rollerblading in Hyde Park. How very sexy of you. I was rollerblading in Hyde Park, right? When? I must have been 32. I wasn't. I must have been like 9 or 10. Sweet. With mummy. No, with my mum and my mum's new boyfriend at the time. His name was Alex.

19:46Oh my God, that's hilarious. Yeah, and he took me rollerblading. And we were rollerblading down Hyde Park. And Hyde Park is like a long, like it's a road next to a park type thing. And on the other side is water. And people rollerblade down there. And in the middle was a little stick. And I remember Alex skated and he jumped over this little stick. And I went, I fucking got that as well. And I rollerbladed and I jumped over it and landed one foot first. So it scooted out underneath me. I landed on my arse. And I'm not kidding you. The road ripped my arse cheeks apart so badly. It was the worst pain I ever felt.

20:39And I was lying on the ground. I thought my arsehole had been strong. So you didn't break your coccyx, the bones, you ripped your arsehole open? I ripped it open. It was like... Why did it grip so much to the ground and how big was your bum at nine? It was honestly like one cheek got super glued to the ground and the other one was on ice. It ripped open. It was the most horrific pain I've ever experienced. And because I didn't really know this man, I was embarrassed to tell him. Oh no, did it bleed? Yeah. That's horrible. It was horrific. Anyway, back to the story. In my first year of university, I went for a pizza with a guy from my Italian class.

21:20After dinner, we went for a walk and it started to drizzle. I was wearing ballet flats with absolutely no grip. Oh my God, is it the same as me? So the second I stepped onto the wet cobblestones, my feet flew up from underneath me and I landed hard on my backside. I was mortified. So I jumped up and tried to pretend that I was fine. My date asked if I was okay. And I remember saying I felt a bit sick. when you actually feel sick and you're like on a date and you're like I don't want to say I feel sick it's so unsexy we ended the date at the student health centre where I found out that I had broken my tailbone and for the next two weeks I had to take a donut cushion into every lecture the relation didn't go anywhere which is a shame because I broke my arse on the first date would have made for a brilliant how we met story that is fan just fantastic stuff I'd give you an A plus I'd give you an A plus too okay so I've got a love story All right, give it to me.

22:14From Anonymous. Okay, honey. Hey, Jamie and Sophie. I love the podcast. A few years ago, I was traveling from the south of England to the north of Scotland to start a new job. It was late at night, my phone was dead, and I'd never used London's night buses. I was standing in Victoria Station when a woman came over and asked if I was okay. She looked up every route I could take, wrote the times down, then waited with me for nearly 20 minutes. When the bus came, she even paid my fare. Under the bus times, she'd written a name and number. Her son lived near where I was moving and she said I should get in touch and let him show me around.

22:46I didn't call for three weeks. Then one grey afternoon, feeling homesick and knowing no one, I did just that. His name was Tom. He met me for a coffee because his mum made him promise and coffee turned into dinner and dinner turned into us spending all of our free time together. No way. He showed me the coast, the good pubs, the walks. He and his mum loved and made me feel completely at home. Four years later and we were engaged. I still have that little piece of paper his mum gave me with his number on and every day I pinch myself thinking how lucky I am that a chance encounter led me to find the love of my life.

23:20Sing it! Sing it! That's a movie if I've ever needed. That is the most amazing. And I love that mum. Like what an amazing mother-in-law you've got as well. Lovely. Wow, that's a beautiful story. Whoever you are, you guys are so lovely and wonderful and I wish you all the happiness in the entire world. Okay, I have one. From Anonymous and it's a parenting story. You should listen. Hello, Jamie and Sophie. Or Sophie and Jamie. Congratulations on beautiful Ziggy. My little girl is around the same age and I have a sleep deprivation story that still makes me feel sick. Can't wait. It'd been one of those mornings where I was trying to do things at once while running on almost no sleep.

23:56My daughter woke up from a nap, so I changed the nappy, got her settled, and carried on with the housework. I had a basket of washing that was almost dry, so I decided to throw it into the tumble dryer and put another load in the washing machine. A little while later I came downstairs to the most awful smell of poo I checked the baby, the bin and even my own clothes Before realising it was coming from the tumble dryer I opened the door and discovered that in my exhausted state I had somehow thrown her dirty nappy in with the clean washing It had been spinning around in there the entire time The clothes were no longer almost dry But they were definitely no longer clean either That is vile she dried the poo with the clothes I so get it like you're holding the dirty nappy and like you put that pile in the dirty washing and then you chuck that I so get it I get it I get it I can't get it enough actually I get it more than you it's like with me what I always do is I've got his dirty nappy and then like his bottle and I put the dirty nappy in the nappy bin and I also always throw the bottle away where do you throw the bottle?

24:58in the dirty nappy bin and then I'm like oh my god what have I done now? don't hit your head like that don't you hit your head like that Don't you hit your head like that. Okay, I've got a parenting story from Molly. Hi, Molly. Hey, Jamie and Sophie. My partner and I love the podcast. We began trying for a baby last year, but during our first month of trying, my sister and not, Nikita, tragically lost her boyfriend, Sean, in a motorway accident. Oh, my God. So sorry. We immediately flew in a state to be with Nikita, who just had lost the love of her life. We were all devastated. When we got home a week later, I suddenly had a feeling I should take a pregnancy test.

25:30As soon as those two lines appeared, it felt like a little bit of light had found its way into a really dark time for our family. Nikita was over the moon for us and said it gave her something to look forward to. On the 30th of April, we welcomed our son into the world and named him Hamish Sean. Nikita was there in the delivery room with us, which made the day even more special. It means so much knowing our son will grow up carrying Sean's name and hearing all about the person he was. That is so beautiful. That's so lovely and that just gave me goosebumps. Sending so much love to all of you guys.

25:58All of these stories make you feel emotional today. I love them. Thank you for the messages. and if you would like to send in a message you truly, you can. You can send them You truly can. You truly can into our Instagram at newlyparentspodcast on Instagram or you can send us an email newlyparents at jampopproductions.co.uk That's the end of That's the end of That's the end of Messages Messages in the end By the way, school's out for summer. Schools are out for summer. Schools are out. It wasn't that moment that moment when you left school. Oh my God, we used to like Like it was mad. It was the most exciting thing you could ever possibly imagine.

26:37How wild is it at school you just get two and a half months off or like however long you get off for summer? It's fucking great. It's like mental. Imagine being adults being like, you're off guys, off for summer. In Spain they are, August is off for everyone. I just, it was the greatest thing ever. I would go, my summer was just so fun, full of just laughs and joyous things. In the Scottish islands. I went to Mull a lot, yeah, in the Scottish islands. I had Highland Toffee, probably the most delicious toffee you'll ever have in your life. It was fantastic. Okay, what did you do for your holidays?

27:07I went to Spain. I went to Spain for, yeah. How boring. Did you ever go to another little place? Did you always go to Spain? It was Spain and I loved every second of it. Really? I kissed all the boys. I played Polisi Kakos, Police and Robbers. I played Truth and Dare. Truth and Dare? Yep. Truth and Dare? Truth and Dare. I played Marco Polo. Did you know that one? Yeah, where you were in the pool. Yeah, but in Spain it's like, Margo, Polo. It's exactly the same, but in a Spanish accent. It is, yeah. It is the same. That makes complete sense because they are Spanish. I ate loads of Spanish doughnuts.

27:38I just did everything. Played with jellyfish. Did you? Went on banana boats. Went on flying fishes. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's just the... Eight magnums every day, all day, breakfast, lunch, and dinner. Gobble, gobble, gobble. How many did your parents allow you to have magnums? However many. I told Jamie this. This is wild. Sophie had no rules. If Sophie wanted to have a magnum, she could have one at any point. Yeah, but did you guys? Obviously not. No, we got one a week. We'd go to the local ice cream shop, which I ended up working at and then I could have as much as I liked. But we got one a week.

28:10Yeah, I was pretty much the same. I was pretty much the same. Sophie, anyway. No, I didn't necessarily say, mum, can I go and get another Magnum? However, she would have definitely let me. But we just had like a pot with like coins and I would count out the coins and then I'd walk to the beach, go to the ice cream place and get myself a magnum. Did you have any rules as kids? And she wasn't around me. Were there rules? They didn't know I was going to get an ice cream. They didn't know where we were. Did you have rules as kids? I don't think you had any rules. Well, define a rule. Having a magnum.

28:40Listen, if we come home and were drunk or done drugs, I think they would place rules. I would hope so. We weren't like that. We were such good girls. I don't think you were. I think you were naughty little shits. I remember once we were out at 1am with these boys and my dad came and screamed at us and said, get in the house now and go to sleep. That is one memory that will always stick with me. And then once I came back from Nicky Beach and I smelled of champagne because I've been like, shh, break the bottles. And he was like, I came home for dinner and he said, you're not coming because you stink of champagne.

29:12And I was so drunk. Yeah, how old were you? 10? No, I was like set 18. So I actually like get a grip. I actually don't know which one's right. I can't because you're right. Because what you're saying there is your parents who are just the best are very relaxed. So therefore, maybe you don't really want to push the boundaries as kids because you don't really, you don't want a Magnum every day because you can have a Magnum every day. I told my parents everything. Like, we were so well behaved, genuinely. We didn't, oh, I did escape out the window and go to Porto Penu. You weren't well behaved though, Soph.

29:45So I like, you know when you're abroad, like the shutters are like blackout shutters and you have to like pull them out like that. I would leave it that much open so that he would think I was asleep. And then when he had gone to sleep at like 1am, I would throw my heels out the window, pull it up, and then I would slither out, jump onto my balcony, get around, get my heels, bomb it, and somehow get to Portable News with, again, coins that I'd taken out of the coin pot. So I'd have like five, six euros. What was that going to get you? Another magnum? I don't know what it would get me. And then I would go to Portable News and people would ask me what alcohol I'd want.

30:21and because my parents drank Baileys at Christmas the only alcohol they allowed me to have was like a glass of Baileys for them at Christmas because it was creamy and delicious so in the clubs in Bernouz I would say to the boys they're probably 25 year old boys who were like what drink do you want I was like can I just get a Baileys please and they were like niche that is niche and me and Victoria were just me and my friend would just drink these Baileys that is hilarious and then we'd come back at 6am climb back in the window dad was none the wiser okay my point is that I had rules you had mad rules I mean yours was like and then that maybe probably then that's why I probably rebelled yeah you're a rebel you didn't rebel as much but then I don't know which is better okay so if Ziggy right Ziggy gets older and he's like hey mother father yeah I want to go to Ibiza on a lad's trip what are you going to say to him I'm going to say alright off you go you're safe how's he going to pay for it that is a question you have to work for it so what job is we going to give him to work for it I don't know He could sell some of my clothes.

31:23He could go work in the village pub. Don't live in a village. We live in a village now. He could go work in a post office. He could go work as a... I don't know. So you need qualifications to work in the post office. There's so many jobs available that he can go and do to earn, save the money, then you can go to my people. So what job did you have when you were younger? I had the job of being a child. Okay. What was your first ever job? No, my sister had a lot of jobs. She worked at Waitrose. Honey, what did you have? She worked in the pubs. What did you have? No, not your sister. Georgia babysat.

31:55She did it all. Okay, great. Well, then what happened to me was that my parents got a divorce really when I was around the age to get a job and I think they felt too guilty. Not true. Your parents got divorced when you were 14. No, when I was 11, actually. Exactly. You're not getting a job at 11. I'm not getting a job when I'm younger, am I? No, so your parents didn't get divorced at the time you were looking for a job. You're 11. I babysat. No, you didn't. Well, stop fucking shaming my parents, okay? I'm a spoiled brat and I never had a job. I did, when I went to university, I'm like, I... What was your job?

32:27When I left university, I did a million and one internships. Thank you fucking very much. I worked everywhere and anywhere and I got fired from all of them, okay? And here I am now. What was your job? Nothing. Yeah, I did. What? Worked in bar and restaurant. For a day? Yeah. For one day? For a week. I worked for a week. So how did you have money then? I stole it from my mum's purse That's actually not a lie That's awful That is awful I feel bad about it That's awful But I only stole£20 No, I tell you what I worked at At Your Service which is a catering company I worked for that Oh, I also did At Your Service Yeah Did you?

33:01I did a catering company and it was in Bankside and I had to wear like white and I catered for like a TV a premiere, a movie premiere Yeah, I had to cater for like an art show I had to work in Byron Restaurant flipping burgers and doing that I had to go and work for a tennis tournament I went and worked for that so did my sister okay so I did all of these things right I grafted it anyway my point is this is that with Ziggy so that's what we're going to do as parents right okay I'm liking this but we need to be on a team together I think the greatest thing is just like look at George your brother amazing boy amazing boy and I love the way Katty is just like let him be my stepmother she's so great and I just think like the way she is and the way your brother is is wonderful So if we could parent in a similar way, I'm down.

33:47Have you? Also, like, I'm great. I turned out great. You've turned out amazing. I'm just a parent and my parents. But I just want to go through everything. You on the other hand. All those rules and regulations. I'm not sure about all the rules and regulations. I'm just not. Can I just ask you as a mother, because these things are going to come up to as parents. Do you remember growing up watching movies with your parents? Yes. And it got to like a really like raunchy scene and it was the most embarrassing thing ever. Yeah, I do. Do you have a specific memory of a movie that you watched and you were like, oh my God, because I have one.

34:19I remember watching 40-Year-Old Virgin in the cinema with my mum and I can't remember what he does, but there's something. Oh yeah, the woman has sex with him and she's like, yeah, fuck, put it in my thumb, oh my God, yeah. And I was watching it with my mum. And she was thinking, oh my God, why have I brought my child to this? My mum said to me one day, do you want to go to the cinema? and I was like, you bet you I want to go. So we went up to the Odeon Cinema on Kensington High Street, and we had a choice between Meet the Parents, great movie, didn't know what it was about, or Broke Back Mountain.

34:53My mum was like, well, there's one about cowboys, one about going to meet your parents. I was like, let's watch the one about cowboys. It's an unbelievable movie. Anyway, it was so packed, the cinema. I sat right in the middle with my mum, and it's about Heath Ledger, and it's Jake Gyllenhaal. It's not about those two, they're playing two roles, and they fall in love, beautiful love story, but there's a sex scene in it. Yeah, I've heard A very passionate one And I was 13 years old And as I realised the sex scene was about to happen in the cinema I got so awkward and so flustered That I started hyperventilating and vibrating in the seat Vibrating?

35:25Because I was laughing so much Because you know when it's so awkward you start laughing I was laughing so much And I caught a glimpse of my mum And my mum was leaning forward Basically just not looking at me Just straight at the movie like this just watching the whole thing well I was in hysterics I've never forgotten it was so awkward yeah it is awkward watching those movies those scenes with your parents or like anyone talking anything sexual with your parents in a room as hell anything honey well listen on that lovely note we should probably end the podcast wrap it up but before we wrap up it's time for our little part which we call Newly Founded this is where we want you our amazing community and our amazing friends to shout out people, businesses, tips or tricks, parenting hacks, anything that you've heard of that we think would be useful or you want to hear.

36:16We would love to hear from you. This week, we have a shout out from Amy. Okay, are you ready for this from Amy? Hi, Jamie and Sophie. Love the pod. I wanted to share a recommendation for a baby app that I wish we discovered much sooner. It's called Huckleberry. Oh, I love Huckleberry. You log their naps, it learns their sleep patterns, and it tells you roughly when your baby's ready to sleep again. It was a huge game changer for us. It isn't a miracle worker and hasn't made her sleep perfectly every night, but it's taken so much of the guesswork out of it. The only downside is the app is so good, it's made me wish there was a Huckleberry for me and my husband.

36:50So we know whether the other ones, grumpy, just hungry, are desperately in need for a nap. Amy, thank you so much. You know this app? I don't use it, but all my friends use it and they friggin' love it. Ziggy's not sleeping. Why are we not using it? Because I'm ADHD to fuck. I can't even reply to my friends, let alone log his naps. Can you imagine? I tried it for a week and it lasted 10 minutes. Please log his naps. You log his naps. I'm not with him all day. I know you're not. There you go. Exposure therapy. Exposure therapy. Okay, let's do our story time and send everyone off to sleep on their Monday morning.

37:23Okay, well, before we wrap up and go into story time, we would love you to shout out anything like that. Anything at all. Product and business, an amazing parenting hack, anything at all. You can feature on Newly Founded Email us at newlyparents at jamponproductions.co.uk You can sign in on our DMs At newlyparentspodcast Everything is in the show description And on that note, you lovely little ducks It's time to cozy on up in your duvet And shut the world away As it's time for Storytime with Jamie and Sophie Okay, our Storytime is about a middle-aged entrepreneur named Jamie Who claims to have a business degree But actually studied drama And every time he fibs about it His nose grows and grows Go Sophie And that Jamie lied and lied and lied his way through life I've been entrepreneur, he used to tell everybody I have a business degree, he said And oh no, the lying fairies knew And they cast a spell on that wicked man They said every time you tell a fib, a porcupine or a lie Your nose will grow and grow and grow So what happened to that man's nose?

38:34He couldn't help himself His mouth opened and a fib came out here Right, left, centre, up, down What kind of fibs came out? He said that he was 5 foot 10 He said that he had naturally blonde hair He said that he'd never had Botox But his forehead didn't move And every time he did His nose grew, it grew so big that one day he couldn't get out the room. He couldn't get out the door. And so there he was. He was locked in the basement of his candy kitten's office and he stayed in that studio forevermore. What happened to him now? He's still there knocking away. He can't move much, but he can move his nose up and down and it just knocks all the walls around.

39:20Ladies and gentlemen, we hope you had a great episode. As always, you can get in touch with us at Newly Parents Podcast on Instagram or you can sign into a DM. You know the drill. I'm not going to go through it again. We really hope you enjoyed it. We absolutely love you to bits. And of course, we're going to see you next week for another episode. Before we go, remember to share it with friends. If you have a friend who nears cheering up, nears, nears cheering up, nears cheering up, you know where to find us. Recommend the show and share it with everyone. We love you if you're getting married.

39:46Good luck. If you're getting engaged. Go for it, baby. If you're pregnant and having a baby. Ah, divine, divine time. We love you guys so much. Enjoy. Bye. Goodbye.

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