Spencer Matthews & Jamie: Dad Life, First Crushes and MORTIFYING Confessions

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1:52Ladies and gentlemen, before we start, we have a very special guest on the show. It's the one It's the only It's Mr. Spencer Matthews God, you really imagine like everyone cheering there but nobody did I thought everyone was going to go What? Yeah, they weren't No, no, just in complete silence for you This is fun because we can say all kinds Give me a higher love Bring me a higher love Yeah Bring me a higher love Christ, just for the avoidance of doubt if you're not watching the podcast, that was Jamie, the kind of slightly better one. Listen. Bring me a higher law. Whoa. Yeah. That's the one I think.

2:36What is it? Let me try one more time. Bring me a higher law. I saw Sophie. I'm filling in for Sophie just in case nobody's realised. But I saw her showering you with compliments the other day, saying that you dressed really well. Yeah. And then in the same breath, she said she fancied Andy Jordan. And I thought I knew there's something coming here. Right, you ready to get into the podcast? Right, yeah, mate, sure. You ready? Yeah, all right. Let's get into it. Hey, everybody, welcome back to Newly Parents. All right. This is the fourth name of this. What did it start off as? Yeah, it started off as nearlyweds.

3:17Nearlyweds, then newlyweds. Well, let me explain. Then nearlyparents, then newlyparents. Yeah, let me explain the timeline. Well, no, I think it's clear. I'm going to explain it. I don't think you need to I'm going to explain Hang on, can I guess? Were you nearly married? Then you were married Then you were nearly parents And now you're parents Correct Well there you go Yeah, you've actually explained it very well Have you been a fan of the show for a while? I've never I'm not saying this to be a dick I've never listened to it But I see your I see your clips I see your clips I know that you're a very successful podcaster So when you asked Me to fill in for Sophie I thought, why not?

3:48It's kind of free Exposure for me

4:03Spencer went to a school And he had to do a Like what was it Like you had to do Bring your talent What was it It was a talent What do you mean Spencer entered a talent competition At his school Yeah no obviously They had an annual talent contest And being a talented person and every year I'd bring different talents to it. Yeah, yeah. So the first one time, I'm not sure I've told you about it. So I did the I'm blue thing on stage. And it was just you on stage? I think so. Yeah. One year I played the saxophone. I played Owen the Saints on the saxophone quite badly actually on the day. I was really disappointed because I could do it in practice, but I couldn't do it on the day.

4:40And it was like, you know, I was like, oh God, all the cool kids are going to think I'm shit at the saxophone, which is really annoying. And then there was a year, God, I was there for three years. I did it three times. And then I borrowed a... Oh, you're going to love this. I can't wait. I borrowed... So there was a kid with a pet snake. Yeah. But anyway, so I was doing a magic show. And I used to love doing magic. I've always liked magic, actually. I love magic. But I had magic kits. And I was quite... There was a time where I was quite good at magic. And I was doing a show. But also I thought, oh my God, if I could make a snake appear out of a hat, then obviously I've smashed it.

5:15So I said to him, I think his name might have been Max. And I said to him, can I borrow your snake? What type of snake was it? Just like a little adder or something. I don't really know. Nothing dangerous, obviously. And I put the thing in my top hat. And I put my top hat on my head. So the snake was in my top hat the whole time. How old are you at this point? Like 11? Okay, nice. Something like that. And I had this snake in my top hat. I'd obviously set someone up in the audience. And I said, listen, I'm going to ask what your least favorite animal is in the world at the end of the show. And you have to say it's a snake.

5:47right and i only realized once i was on stage that i've really set myself up for failure if this kid just decides to go a wolf you know because i'm like and so it's like i was up there and for the whole magic show i was kind of freaking out that he was going to do me in you were thinking yeah i'm like doing my tricks i'm like oh my god he's not going to say a snake and then i'm just going to be like nope it's a snake you know and uh and anyway so he actually thankfully did a snake he did say a snake do it to me so what so i'm the kid in the audience yeah And you went what? I said, show of hands.

6:20Me. Oh, yes. Already planned. And I said, what is your least favorite animal in the world? I hate snakes. Well, then.

6:34You know, some magic-y noise, presumably. I might have even had some smoke machines. I can't quite.

6:44And then there was a snake on my head. And then obviously it started falling off, so I grabbed it. And then I went, you know, here you go, here's a snake. And everyone went, ooh. But I think everyone knew it was there the whole time. Where the fuck is the health and safety at this school? How can you just have a snake? It's not a dangerous animal. It was a pet. Yeah, you can't just take a snake. It's a pet. It's a pet. It was there anyway, because I think he was doing something with the snake. This was a late addition to the magic show. I saw his snake, and I was like, ooh, can I use that? It's not even a trick.

7:12No, I know. But it's still cool that I had a snake on my head the whole time. I think that was more the impressive thing. It's like, oh, he's done that whole magic show with a snake in his hat. What other things happened at school? I played Cyrano de Bergerac once because it was a French play. And Cyrano de Bergerac has this large snout. And I had a prosthetic nose on, which kept kind of nearly coming off. And like it's some big, you know, and there's lots of swords and stuff. And we'd had our BCG vaccinations. Oh, do you remember those things? Yeah, like that morning. They hurt those ones. Yeah, it was crap.

7:48Well, you would inject the, it would be the liquid that'd go into your arm to save you from whatever. Tuberculosis, is it? Something like that. And then underneath your skin, it would expand. So it would stretch your skin. It would really hurt. Yeah, and you had this scar. And I had my, what's it called? BCG. BCG that morning. Yeah. And I was playing Serrano de Bergerac that afternoon. It's a big day for you. After the play, I was the lead naturally because I speak French. Big day. Nobody else could learn the lines for Sohano de Bergerac. Jesus Christ, there were so many lines. It was unbelievable.

8:19You know when you're young and your mind's a bit of a sponge? I looked at it and I was like, I'm not going to remember all this shit. You know what I mean? It was like, I may as well have been in the West End. I was 11. James Both, long story short, it's actually not a long story. James Both smacked me in the arm with a sabre, like an actual sword. Like a foil. On stage. Yeah, but we were fighting in the play. and he literally just like, I think he got a bit carried away because, you know, we were in character and obviously everyone's loving the play. And he hit me like really hard and he burst my BCG vaccine.

8:54Like proper cut me. I had to get another one. So I've got two BCG scars. Look. Is that the story? That's the story. You asked me things that happened at school. Your BCG? I've got two BCGs. What else happened at school? Tell me some more things. This is unbelievable. There's loads of stuff. There was this one cool kid called, his name was Harry. And he had these Carhartt trousers. And I just thought he was so cool. Yeah, it is quite cool. It's a cool brand. It's a cool brand. So Harry had Carhartt. Yeah, so I literally made my mum. We went to Selfridges that evening because I felt like a loser.

9:30And I loved Harry's trousers. So I literally went to Selfridges that evening to find the same trousers as Harry. What colour were they? Black. Yeah, cool. Yeah, with like side pockets and everything, a little Carhartt logo. Like long before Carhartt was Carhartt. How long ago is this? We're 38. You are. 38 years old. You're 38. I'm not. Well, you will be soon. Maybe I will be. Are you in October? November? November. 12th? No. 13th? No. 14th? No. 15th? No. 18th? No. Less or more? You keep going and guessing. Is it higher or lower? It's lower. 9? No. 10? No. No. Eight, seven, six, four, five, three, two.

10:07Three. Two, three. Yes. I knew it. It's quite good, though, that I knew that it was November. No, yours was August 9th. No. Six. Yes. Sorry. Yes. Jesus Christ. Anyway, so what happened with Harry? Nothing. I just bought the same trousers as him, and he noticed, which was a bit embarrassing, the following day. He was like, because I came in, and he was just like, when did you get those? I was like, last night? And it was kind of just a bit lame Because he knew obviously That I'd just seen them and copied him And there was no real hiding it I just said yeah I really like them I thought you looked really cool Harry So I wanted to look like you Can you also tell the story of when you asked the girl out on a date?

10:46Yes When you were at school Yeah yeah when the Le Pigeon You were at school and you were a little French kid Sweet tubby little French kid Yeah little tubby French kid and kind of like a little bit out of my depth in this British school. In the French schooling system, if something's a problem and you're like visibly upset by it, people kind of, you know, there's some empathy there. Whereas in the British school system, I think crying is just a sign of weakness and it's a sign that you're open to be bullied, I think, you know. Like if something goes wrong at school and you start crying or whinging, it's just like, it's like chum in a shark tank, you know, you just get absolutely annihilated.

11:24I had to learn the hard way. So what happened? Well, you know, this is kind of before you're properly dating anyone, but I had a little crush on one of the girls. And you were 12 years old, whatever. Yeah, yeah, 12, 11, whatever. Just like, we're young, you know. It's like, do you want to come around to my house to watch some TV type thing? But you had a crush on this person. I did, yeah. Sweet. Yeah. Nothing like too untoward, I don't think, at this age, but it was more, you know, I liked her. I thought she was nice. and um and i went up i summoned up the courage to to ask her if she wanted to come around to my house so i went up to her in the in the schoolyard and i kind of could see like the cool kids kind of you know paying attention to why i'm going over and chatting to this young lady and uh literally as soon as i'd started speaking to her a pigeon shat on my head and it and it kind of hit me it hit me kind of square like not not in on the top of the head where you could kind of brush it off, like straight down the forehead.

12:26Like weird kind of like you didn't know what it was. At first I thought someone might have spat on me or something. And it literally just went. It's quite heavy. No, it's grim. Yeah, because I was stood under a tree, obviously. Don't ask people out under a tree. Quite romantic. You never know. Well, apparently it's good luck. It wasn't on that day. Okay, so what happened? Well, she screamed. and all of a sudden I was shithead, I think was my name. But do you know what I mean? Actually, it was quite cool that I had the confidence to go and ask this person out in the first place. All of a sudden I get deemed shithead because of a pigeon.

13:00It's actually not fair. If you think about it, it's not fair. What did you do? I was upset. Did you cry? I tried not to. I tried not to because I knew what that led to as well. I knew that that just led to more insults and more horrid little British kids being really nasty to me. I remember you telling me that afterwards you were really trying not to cry, so you just went and sat in the classroom in the dark. I did, yeah. Hey, so listen. Hey, Sven, we've got to give you all a huge congratulations because you just came a dad for the fourth time. Oh, yeah. Newly parents. Yeah. Come on, baby. Four kids.

13:38Your eldest is eight. Theodore's eight. Yeah. That's mad. Eight, six, four, and nine days at the time of recording. Yeah, it's pretty, it is, everyone congratulates me. What am I getting congratulated for? Well, because you're the daddy. No, I know, but I played a minor part in the whole thing, really. Yeah. You know. Do you find it wild, though, Spence? Like, when Sophie gave birth, right, I found that the scariest, I found that the scariest moment of my life. Of your life? Of my life, I think. Because I was suddenly, okay, I'm going to tell you, So I was in the, we're in the room and suddenly it was an emergency seat section.

14:14And suddenly I was like, everyone suddenly rushed in with like getting their overalls on and whatever they wear, their scrubs or whatever you call it. Overalls. Yeah. We're doing a bit of art. Painting. A little bit of art. Can you just get this bit on the wall as well? Yeah. So suddenly that happens. And then suddenly you're taken into the room where, and I was suddenly in my head thought, what happens if this doesn't go right? What happens if something goes wrong here? What happens if my wife doesn't make it out of this? What is it if my baby is hurt or injured? That's anxiety, isn't it? You're worried about something that hasn't happened.

14:46So that's what that is. You don't have that? I've never felt that. You've never? It's not that I don't feel fear or that I'm not apprehensive of something, but I won't worry about something that I can't yet control. Obviously, thoughts like that might cross my mind, but I try not to worry about them. Yeah, it's a good way to be. So when your baby was born, you weren't even worried? I was not worried I pay close attention to the doctor And I try and see if she has any inkling of worry or anything Because obviously she's the one who knows She's delivered, Dr. Vasso has delivered all four of our kids I think she says she's delivered 10 ,000 babies What?

15:29Yeah, yeah, she's a master Whereas I'm not a master, obviously, of that particular thing So you watched her and see if it's all okay I pay a lot of attention to her face. Because she's there saying, don't push, do this, do that. And if you see a little glint of kind of like, then you'd be a bit like, oh God, why is she bothered? But even with the first one, with Theodore, all of our kids were born naturally. So no C-sections. Theodore is amazing. Yeah, it's pretty amazing. But we had a problem with Theodore. So Theodore started off normal. Then we had to move rooms. then all of a sudden it was quite full on.

16:07Then he had to be... What was it full on? What was full on about it? We were maybe going to have to have a C-section like halfway through the birth. We got taken into this room. That was a bit sketchy. So that was a bit, you know, just as a first experience. It's a lot. He had to be suctioned out with like a... It was sort of like a toilet plunge thing, but it goes on your head. So break it down. So you've got the plunger. Well, I don't. I wouldn't want to plunge him out. I'll rip his head off. Like, like, like, like, it would be a nightmare if I was plunging. You should see me on a, on a blocked toilet.

16:43I'm so impatient. Full stop. You know, it's like, you know, like, you know, so getting that kind of energy into the emergency room would, would suck. Can we just tangent, just because I'm so sorry for this episode. It's going to be a while, but can we just tangent just for one second, put a pin in that. We'll just come back to you plunging out of your son. Yeah. Hang on. Spencer and I lived together. Oh, no, no, no. This is awful. No, you can't say that. It's so disgusting. It's so disgusting. I lived together in New York for about nine weeks. This is real hideous. This isn't... I don't think people will appreciate this story.

17:22The morning that we had to leave, the cleaners turned up, I had a terrible stomach, and I went to the loom. I came home and Spencer, I've blocked it. And Sven went, no, you have. And I said, so he went in there with a plunger and couldn't do anything about it. So I went, well, we could do it. He went, don't worry. He went, go on. He went and got a knife. Oh, my shit. And went and chopped it up. I did. I dialed it up a bit. And then flushed it and came out and went, done. Oh, God. Okay, back to the scene. So it's actually, I think some people will know this, but when a baby is quite forcefully, and I mean, like, I was very surprised, right?

18:14Like Dr. Vasso, honestly, she was giving it some. Like, she was like, she's like kind of like really, yeah, because... Like your deep sea fishing? Sort of like you're trying to get, you know, a marlin, you know, into the back of the Sunseeker. Is she putting her foot on something? Not really, no. I was quite surprised. Anyway, eventually Theodore comes out and he's got like a long head. Seriously. Sorry. Honestly. No, no, no. Seriously. It was quite like... And the first thing she said was she handed him over and she said, the head will go back down to normal shape. It's called a cone head normally, but this was more just like alien.

19:01You know the alien film with the aliens? And we sent a picture of us holding the baby into the family group. No one replied. Like nobody was like, oh my God, wow, congratulations. Everyone was like, what? And then a few days later, obviously, it does come down. But his head was like an American football. Long, long. Anyway, so the other birth's easier. This recent one just felt like we were off on a date. We turned up to the Kensington Wing. We were watching Ozark and smashing gas and air. I felt like I was at Glastonbury at one point. We literally, I went out and got Bee Bagel. I was watching Omar Navarro's men sever someone's head off at the end of the hospital bed.

19:52The nurse came in and she was like, would you guys not want to watch something a bit nicer? I was like, well, it is nearly the end of the fourth series. You know, like, now feels a good time, to be honest, because we're just sat here, you're not really doing anything. Listen, birth is really scary. But I think now, having been through it, and I also think if Vogue and Sophie were here, we could all laugh about it. And we can laugh about it. Yeah. It's a beautiful thing. It's an amazing thing. For any new dads out there who are listening, or any new couples who just had, like, a baby, what advice would you give them?

20:22Because now you're a number four. You're in a position, I would say, that you can give advice? Well, I would never offer parenting advice to anyone. Sure. Because it's each to their own and everyone should have their own parenting journey. Then lovely, well put, yeah. But it's... Newborns in particular, the time you spend with them is really lovely, isn't it? And it's kind of... I think a lot of people can feel a little bit stressed, as we were with Theodore. You're worried about them breathing. You're worried about how tight you're doing the muslin. I'm constantly worried about temperature. You're worried about lots of things.

20:55I think as time goes on, you have more and more kids. You're kind of less worried about that kind of stuff. So you become, you know they're resilient. You know they're robust. You're like, this is okay. Yeah, they also, I mean, little Remy sleeps, I want to say like 18, 19 hours of the day. Like, you know, he wakes up every two, three hours for another feed, changes nappy. But broadly speaking, he's out of action. You know, how is he so knackered, by the way? I look at him and I'm like, what's he doing sleeping again? Like, I come home, he's asleep. and then I'm around for a bit he's asleep and I'm just like how could he possibly sleep for so long he's asleep all the time and also when you first have your kid which I was like and now I can see having you've had four and other people when you first have your baby you're like a hawk watching every moment every little thing you feel like every noise every movement you're like oh my god so your adrenaline is so high the whole time but actually you can kind of sit back and that first like first few weeks especially first couple months are just amazing because you're in this little bubble together, enjoying this little thing.

21:57It's just mad. Not complaining. We are in that lovely bubble with three other young kids in a rental house because we're building our house. To be honest, the bubble feels a bit disturbed. There's a lot going on in our house. Yesterday, I had two calls in the afternoon. I left the office. I had two calls in the afternoon from home. Nowhere to have the call. I was sat in a cot, basically. I was trying to find Somewhere in the house that didn't look mad To take this call that didn't have Other people in it What are you doing in the kitchen? The kitchen? Are you mad? It's full of people The kitchen's the hub of the house There's always someone Doing something in the kitchen When your baby first gets born Especially the dads I definitely found that first bit lonely We have that at the moment Do you?

22:49Yeah, Vogue and I, both in our own ways, feel a bit lonely at the moment. Well, we have four kids, so there needs to be a system in play. For us both to be out of action, for us both to have big broken sleep, is unhelpful to the rest of the family flow. So right now, the system is Vogue and baby sleep in a big room, double bed, on their own. So the baby obviously has a car, the snoo thing, whatever it's called. and Vogue manages the night feeds and does that, just her and the child. I sleep in the spare room at the moment with both boys. Because Otto comes in in the middle of the night screaming because he's on his own and Theodore is like sleeping with a rattlesnake.

23:34He sleeps and when he's asleep he goes... I literally poke him. I'm like, what are you doing? Are you dreaming about being a hippo or something? It's bizarre. My job is to be up you know before seven o 'clock down in the down in the kitchen i do breakfast for the three kids yeah um we obviously have a lovely nanny as well who arrives around a similar time so the two of us manage the morning with the three kids get the kids ready for school get their hair brushed my kids have their eggs three different ways as well i'm like a you know when you go to a hotel and like there's an omelette chef i'm that guy in the morning so what does gigi have gigi has two boiled eggs with a little spoonful of butter in a cup mashed up and she spreads that on like her toast okay great she orders that so she has that theodore has a three egg omelette just like plain with a little dash of salt because he's starting to sweat a bit and people that sweat need salt okay fun fact that's interesting yeah and um because he's very active plays a lot of sport and stuff um and then the and then the little otto has two uh boiled eggs without the yolk.

24:38Wow. So it's actually, it's actually an incredible, like it's, I've got it down now. So it's a little like dance that you do. But at first I was like, can't you just all eat the same thing? You know, so I can just make breakfast and you all eat it. And what do they say? No. Straight up no. Yeah, no, they're not having it. And, and, and, and daddy can't fight back. Well, daddy can fight back when it really matters. I think, you know, if they were to gang up on me physically, say I could fight back, I think. Yeah. If they were to gang up on you physically, Do you think you could beat them? I think I've got a very good chance of winning that currently.

25:08Although in a few years' time, you know, were they to gang up. Who would you take down first? I'd get rid of Otto first. Yeah, nice. He's the problem. Yeah, would you? So how would you get rid of him? I don't know what I'd do, but he'd be tossed aside with ease because he's still quite small. Yeah, he's out. Who's next? Yeah. Gigi's the least threatening. Right. So you're going to save her. Your goddaughter. My beautiful goddaughter. She is so sweet. She's so sweet. Yeah. Yeah, you know, T and I wrestle quite a lot. So he's interested in jujitsu. He's a little bit young for kind of like regular classes and like the structure of it all.

25:42So physically you've got them. Physically I'm stronger than them. But mentally they've got you. One's patience can be tried quite hard when there's three of them, you know, deciding to not be behaved. Then, of course, it's my job at the moment to get all three of them to school, which again is like it kind of sounds they're all on like Otto's on a bike the other two are on scooters there's quite a few roads to cross it's you're managing a lot any mum or dad who is experiencing the school run in the morning with three kids will know how stressful that is so Vogue gets to sleep slightly later but obviously she should you know I think I think she's got she's got the hardest job I think even though it's a beautiful thing and mothers love love the connection between her and the baby Like I think I would really struggle with having the baby on me all of the time.

26:34You know, having to feed the baby every few hours, having to change the baby all the time, always being on the baby. And that's not to say that I don't take the baby for a walk and hold the baby. But, you know, the baby is with Vogue for pretty much the entire time. Right. And it's kind of it's a lot. But hang on. Why do you feel lonely? Well, because we don't sleep next to each other. I'm working Vogue's more at home at the moment, but I have work commitments and bits and bobs, so I'm kind of out of the house. And we don't get to socialize. We come home in the evening, and we might have an hour together.

27:09We'll eat something and maybe put something on TV, but she's tired and so am I, so she goes to bed separately to me. I don't really like sleeping separately to her. We like being next to each other, even if you're not communicating, you're together. Whereas at the moment, it kind of feels a bit fractured. It sort of feels like you've fallen out because you're staying in the spare room. Buddy, Sophie and I, for the first six months, it was like ships in the night. It was just, you don't, and then you realize that you're just basically parenting. You're not even being a couple. You're not doing anything together.

27:42That's a very real thought that I have quite a lot of the time. It's, you know, eight years ago, we had no kids. You know, now, obviously, eight years is quite a long time, but we have four kids. So your life, whether you like it or not, is kind of all about the kids. Like, all about the kids. Vogue does the absolute lion's share of managing the kids and their schedule and, you know, their clothes and them growing and having to change clothes. Like, thank God, I'd just be so useless at that. You know, like, oh, my feet are too small. Squeeze them in! You know, who cares? You think you're getting new shoes again?

28:19You know, that's a joke. But, you know. I know what you mean It's quite It's sort of like Any freedom that you enjoy As like a Well dare I say it A successful couple That should be able To just do stuff Like you kind of can't No you can't And it becomes about the kids Let's go and do this You know let's go for a nice meal We can't We can't And also So it just feels You feel like a little bit You're a little bit tired And then also When you do go for a date Or you do have a nice time You're thinking about the kids I can spend time away from the kids To be honest I love my kids. Love my kids. Like any person who's a parent, you know, you feel like you love your kids more than whatever.

29:03I'm not saying that. I love my kids. But in the same breath, I can easily spend time away from my kids. And I think that's normal. It's normal. It's interesting, right? Because I think the world has changed quite a lot as well. I'm not trying to sound like philosophical. But back in the day, when I was a kid, I don't remember my dad, right? And that's not a dig at my dad. My dad would just be working. He'd be at the office working all day. He'd be gone when I woke up and he'd come home after I went to sleep. Yeah, so he wasn't there as much. And I'd see him, you know, from time to time. And I loved my dad and we have an amazing relationship.

29:38But he, you know, he probably never once fed me a bottle, never cooked for me, never changed me, never did anything that modern day fathers do and enjoy doing, you know, with their wives and partners. but I think in many ways it's probably, it may have been the roles were probably more defined whether it be right or wrong back then, right? Whereas now I think there's a lot of, there is a lot of juggling because my wife is super successful, very professional as well, works full-time as well, which is great, gives us, you know, twice as much to kind of consider, you know, when making important decisions about the rest of our lives.

30:16What you're saying is this part, which I totally get, which is where now there's not this whole sort of old school mentality where wife stays at home and husband goes and work no it's a great thing the women women as much as men should be allowed to go back to work work as much as they want and also men should also have the have the ability or should have the responsibility to also look after the the kids and do the work at home and do everything i just i find it and whoever made that rule by the way that's saying going to work was harder than looking after kids was lying. That's nonsense. It's nonsense.

30:48Looking after kids is way harder. Looking after kids is difficult. It's very hard. I'm solo parenting at the moment. I've said this, I said it before. Like Sophie, I had to phone Sophie this morning. She's in New York and I had to say to her, but I was like, honey, you are just amazing. It's like, it's totally and utterly wild that Sophie can work as well as be a mom, as well as be a president. I just, you are super humans. It's incredible what they do. We've rambled for a bit and it's now time to go in what we like to call listeners' messages. Are you ready for this, Pug? Of course. I mean, why would I not be?

31:18Are you really ready for this, Pug? I have braved Antarctic waters. So, yes, I'm ready for this. It's time for Listeners Messages.

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32:49Terms at lowes.com slash shipping terms. Hey, it's Paige DeSorbo from Giggly Squad, and this episode is supported by Rothy's, the brand famous for chic, comfortable flats. My listeners know I love to start an outfit with the shoes and there's nothing better than a great flat in the fall. They're timeless. They make everything look more polished. And Rothy's iconic pointed flat, The Point, has been reimagined to be better than ever. It now has a cushioned bouncy insole with much more arch support. So it's comfortable enough to wear all day. And The Point comes in so many gorgeous colors, patterns and textures.

33:23Discover the point at Rothy's dot com. That's R-O-T-H-Y-S dot com. Hello, I'm Monica Reinagle, host of the Nutrition Diva podcast. Summer is here and with it, the hot and sticky weather. A morning working in the garden or maybe on the golf course can leave you more depleted than you realize. And plain water isn't always the most efficient way to restore the balance. That's where liquid IV comes in. Its science-backed formula is clinically proven to hydrate faster than water alone. Whether you're exercising, playing outside, or simply surviving a summer heat wave, it's an easy way to stay hydrated.

33:57Shop now at liquidiv.com. Liquid IV, hydration that goes wherever life takes you. This is Hannah Berner from Giggly Squad. O-Pill is the first over-the-counter daily birth control pill available in the U.S. Let's be real, getting a birth control prescription is not always easy and it's so much admin. In fact, about a third of women face barriers to access prescription birth control. Between scheduling appointments, missing work, class, or just trying to exist, it's a lot but now opill is putting birth control in our control opill is a daily birth control that's fda approved full prescription strength and estrogen free and 98 effective when used as directed grab it online or at most major retailers no prescription or doctor's appointment needed so if you're thinking about birth control check out opill to see if it's right for you use code giggly for 25 % off your first month of OPILL at O-P-I-L-L.com.

34:51That's code GIGGLY at O-P-I-L-L.com. Birth control in your control. We love to see it. Hey, Pug, firstly, we like to... Don't read it. Okay, all right. We like to thank the listeners. Can you thank the listeners? Thanks, listeners. No, no, make it more... No, make it like you mean it. Thank you for listening. No, again, it feels like you're sort of faking it. Why do people tell me I'm insincere when I'm not? Because that sounds insincere I care about you, the listener And I'm thankful that you've tuned in Do you generally care about them? Truthfully? Like, in what kind of way? Like, I appreciate their listenership I don't personally know them Okay, say it to Rory Rory, who's listening Alright, Rozza There we go You'd say what to me?

35:39Thanks a lot for listening, mate It means a lot, honestly

35:45No, it does It does Really It does I mean, we're better off having some listeners than none, you know Alright, here we go You ready for this? So he says, please keep me anonymous But I need to confess something I have zero regrets about this My ex-fiance decided he didn't want to marry me a week before our wedding Spicy I was honestly heartbroken I never imagined what would happen to me I later found out That he'd left me For my best friend Of 15 years Crikey As you can imagine It was absolutely devastating And also infuriating Because I was the one Who ended up having to move Out of the house we shared So before I left I had a moment of madness And decided to get revenge Alright I hid tiny rolled up Bits of raw bacon Oh I thought she was going to say She shagged his mate In curtain hems In what?

36:33Curtain hems What's that? I don't know In the curtains somewhere In the curtains? In the curtains Oh, what? So that it rots and stuff? Behind radiators, under the sofa, under the bed, basically anywhere they'd never think to check, so the place would slowly start stinking for weeks with no obvious source. Just to put a cherry on top of the whole situation, I tipped a generous jug of hair removal cream into his shampoo bottle. He was very proud of his hair, and it does make me happy to think of him having a shiny bald head. I have no idea how the bacon or the shampoo went down, but I like to imagine it regularly.

37:04No regrets, and I'll do it all again. Please don't grasp me up. Well, can I just say... Yeah, yeah. Go on, tell me. If he happens to listen to this, she can go to jail. Why? Well, because she's admitting guilt there. I know she wants to remain anonymous. It couldn't be anyone else, could it? To jail for what? What? What can you go to jail for? There's got to be a rule against putting bacon in someone's curtains. You think someone in court is going to send them to jail for that? There's no chance, mate, that you're allowed to just go around someone's house and put bacon in the radiators. Surely there has to be some law against that.

37:36What would you do for revenge? What would be your revenge? I don't believe in revenge So you're about to marry Vogue I don't believe in revenge Okay, Vogue, you're about to marry Vogue And I run away with Vogue I run away with her I know, I run away with her Sorry I run away with her Okay I honestly think I might find that funny Because, you know, it's very unexpected but also you know I it's kind of you know when you know when I guess that's the feeling when uh you know somebody leaves you and then they go out with somebody else and you think you're better than them so like so like you don't mind as much do you know what I mean like if Vogue broke up with me and she started dating Michael B Jordan I'd go well that sucks you know because he's fucking cool and good looking and he's a nylister whereas if she dated you I'd be like Like, well, you know, her loss really is how I would feel about that.

38:36But no, I think, I think revenge. What would you do? You wouldn't do any revenge? I wouldn't, I wouldn't be like, I wouldn't be putting termites in your underwear drawer and stuff like that. No, I just, I think, I think as unfortunate as that story is, I think, and it must have been heartbreaking. Ultimately, it's the right thing, isn't it? Yes. You don't want to end up marrying someone who actually wants to be porking your mate, you know, because that's just that's no good. It's a move, I think. Do you know what? Did you ever did you hear about the wedding where, I've told this a million times, but this is the funniest thing I've ever heard is when, you know, those photo booths that people go into and take photos at weddings?

39:14Yeah. One guy, you know, it gets sent to all of the guests and everyone gets to see them. One guest went in there, she went in and pulled a moony. And she got the picture back and it was just a picture of her arsehole.

39:40I want to get sent around everyone You read yours That's lovely Can I tell you another one which happened as well We got told about a friend A friend who They were about to have the wedding And suddenly it's not that funny suddenly masked men with balaclavas came running into the church and went get down get down get down get down on the floor so everyone was like get down on the floor and then they pulled at them balaclavas and it was the best man and his friends and the father of the groom was shaking so much he had to go to hospital to be fair it's like there's a time and a place and that sounds like the place.

40:27Okay, right. We've got an anonymous listener here. Another one. Hello, please keep me anonymous. Okay. But I have a secret my husband still doesn't know. Go on then. Years ago, with an ex-boyfriend, we were horrifically hungover on a city break and popped into a big coffee chain for breakfast before our flight. Whilst queuing, we made the terrible decision to nip into the toilet together. I never usually do stuff like that, but my hungover and horny brain told me it was a good idea. Jesus, what kind of show is this? I thought we were talking about parenting. We came out like grinning idiots, sat back down and finished our coffees, not realising staff had already called the manager.

41:06The corridor had CCTV, which clocked us going in together and coming out ten minutes later looking very pleased with ourselves. The manager approached us and asked us to leave and told us that we'd been banned from the chain of coffee shops forever. That ex is long gone, but the ban isn't. That's quite funny. How the fuck? Those bollocks just go as if. Like, as if you walk into Pret, they're going to go, you're that woman that had sex in that airport eight years ago. Bollocks. That ex is long gone, but the band isn't. To this day, I steer my husband towards other coffee shops, and he has absolutely no idea why.

41:36One time, he was adamant that we wanted to try their festive coffee. So I went in with my hood up, acting like I was a spy undercover. Someone working there looked at me funny, and I nearly started hyperventilating. Luckily, nobody said anything, and I kept far away from the toilets. Love from Anonymous. That's a good one. Have you ever fornicated in a strange place with Vogue? I think we might keep that to ourselves. Just if my PR were here, that's the kind of question she'd want struck from the episode. Okay, I got one from Anonymous. Again, it's a love story. This is the same person. It's not.

42:12It's a love story. You'll like this. Hey, Jamie and Sophie. Or Spencer. Thank you for keeping me sane every Monday. That's okay. I have a crazy story. When I was 16, my best friend and I wrote letters describing the men we thought we'd marry one day. Mine was weirdly specific. I wrote that he'd have dark curly hair and green eyes, but be two years older than me, have a scar above his eyebrow, live near water and have a sister. I also wrote that he'd make me laugh constantly, hate tomatoes, support Arsenal, and his name would begin with J. I completely forgot that this letter existed. 12 years later, I met my now husband, James.

42:46At a friend's birthday, dark curly hair, green eyes, two years older, one sister, Arsenal supporter, hates tomatoes and yes a little scar above his eyebrow from falling off a bike when he was a child. When we met he was living in a flat overlooking the Thames. A few months after we got engaged my mum found the letter while cleaning up my childhood bedroom. My best friend still had hers too so there was no question about when we'd written them but the bit that really freaked me out was the final line I'd written underneath everything else. I'll know him when I see him. I think I've met him before.

43:19I'd never met James in my life before. That letter is now framed in our house and James jokes that apparently his entire life was planned by a 16-year-old girl he'd never met. Wizardry. Doesn't that touch you in the feels? Where are they? Like, for some reason, it feels like you're talking about balls or something. But no. Like, I find it very... You don't get goosebumps? No, no. But I think that is very exciting and interesting. Can you say to our listeners, thank you so much for writing in. Please keep writing in, and we just adore them. Thanks, guys. Listen, we love hearing from you. So do please keep writing in to Jamie and Sophie's newly parents show.

44:03I would love it if you did that. Yeah, yeah. And what would you do if they did that? Nothing. Just I'll probably never... I won't even listen to this. You know, so... Well, we'll say that's the end of listeners' messages in like a tuneful way. That's the end of listeners' messages.

44:24I want to talk about your... You have this show on Disney, which I'm so excited for that you've announced. Can we say anything about it? It's called Breaking Spencer Matthews. This is mad, by the way, guys. I'm going to explain it for you because I think you explained it badly. Oh, okay. Thank you. Spencer did eight Ironmans. Seven. Seven. Spencer did seven Ironmans in seven continents in seven days. In 21 days. In 21 days. Seven days would be impossible. Okay, well, you explain it. You'll be better explaining it. Probably. After that. Go. So I did an Ironman in every continent. Yeah. What's an Ironman?

45:00In 21 days. An Ironman is a 3.8-kilometer swim, which is roughly 40 football fields, followed by a 181 kilometer bike ride, which is like cycling from London to Manchester, followed by a full marathon, 42.2K. The average Ironman, so not the average person, average Ironman takes about 12 hours to 12 and a half hours to do an Ironman. So from start to finish, you're looking at about 12 hours. So yeah, so basically from kickoff, if you start at 9 a.m., you're probably gonna finish around 9 p.m., right? That's one race. I did seven of those, one in London, Arizona, Cape Town, Perth, Dubai, Rio and Antarctica, all in 21 days.

45:44Jeez, the hardest one? Cape Town, surprisingly. The sea. Very, very hilly bike as well. And choppy, shark-infested sea. Yeah. Well, when you asked me earlier if I was frightened by something to do with the newborn, I have, you know, I put myself at risk of being eaten by a leopard seal. Oh my god. That's a really bad feeling, by the way. Wait, so explain, what happened? Well, in Antarctica, in the bay that we were in, there are leopard seals that live there. And they would go for a human? Yeah, yeah, yeah. They're 500 kilos. They're apex predators. Half a ton. Yeah. They're apex predators, and they will kill you real fast.

46:20Like, whatever. They couldn't care less. They're described as curious. They've killed people before, and if I didn't have a support crew, they would just take you out to sea, and that would be that. So I kind of had that in my mind the whole time I was in the water. That's a real mind spot. The feeling that you're going to be eaten is not great. So does that affect your breathing and your heart rate? Yeah, you kind of have to rationalize the fear whilst you're in it, which is odd. So if you're walking across the street and you nearly get hit by a car, you'll feel this surge of adrenaline, this fear, but it will subside because the danger has passed.

46:54Whereas in something like that, you're a sitting duck for an hour and a half. So you've got an hour and a half of thinking, I could be taken at any time here. And I had the same in Cape Town. 5 a.m., pitch black water, eight degrees of water. In Antarctica, it was zero degrees. That's cold. Eight degrees of water in Cape Town. That's freezing. Yeah. Keeping moving, obviously, is helpful. But no, I was very, very cold in Cape Town. There's a cool montage in the movie around Cape Town, specifically. That's cool. I think you're going to really like the film. Hopefully, you will come to the premiere.

47:27Obviously, I'm going to be at the premiere. I was at the last premiere. We're like little Disney guys now. I know. Are you touching? Yeah, we are. We both have a Disney show. Disney. When is the Disney show out? Later this year, hopefully. I can't wait. And listen, I haven't even announced. Raising Chelsea Series 2 is coming back. So exciting. We've been recording for the last few months. It's going to be, I mean, I don't want to say too much, but it's just going to be fun. It's unbelievable. Okay, listen, before you go, we've got a couple more things. We've spoken about this before. Sven and I used to have a podcast, and we used to talk about this a lot.

47:56Bond, James Bond. Oh, yeah. Is still up for grabs. James Bond is still up for grabs. Not got the call yet. I truly believe I'm in the top thousand to be Bond. I truly believe that I'm in the top thousand to be Bond. It's not exactly like... Above you. Not above me. Are you mad? Above me? Yes, above you. I'm a three times world record holding like Ironman athlete. What can you do? You'd be a terrible Bond. I've also got a purple belt in jiu-jitsu. I'd absolutely fold you up like a little pretzel. I would fold you up and put you in a laundry basket. Okay, so for old times sake, I want to pretend you're in an audition, like we've done this before, I want you to pretend you're in an audition.

48:37Okay. And you're going for the thing, and I'm the casting director. Yeah. And you also, there's a director there, there's a whole, and you're walking into the room, and you have to come in there, and you're doing an audition for Bond, and I quickly just need to ask a few questions before you do it. Okay. So hang on, am I James Bond? Am I the character now? You're Spencer Matthews trying to be James Bond. Yes, but answering the questions, am I in Bond character? Am I in character? Well, you can, no, I wouldn't be. I would turn into Bond character. Miss Money Pushy. So walk into the room. Walk into the room and go.

49:07I'm walking, yeah. Okay. Hey, how are you? Hello.

49:14Sorry. Hey. Fine, thanks. Let's get to the point, wouldn't you say? Okay, what's your name? The name's Bond. No, no, that's... No, no, sorry. What's your... James Bond. No, no. What's your name on your birth certificate? Your actual name? Who are you? Oh, I'm Spencer Matthews. Oh, so we just... I'm a podcaster, entrepreneur and elite endurance athlete. It says here you did Made in Chelsea, is that right? That's a long time ago. Okay, all right. Anyway, so you're here to do what? I'm auditioning for the role of James Bond. Great. And why should you be Bond? Three reasons, quickly. Just on the top of your dome.

49:46Three reasons. I'm very similar to him in real life. Okay, sure. I think that I would be a great addition to MI6. Great. And I'm a tremendous actor and I think I've got the look. I think dolled up with a little PP7 Golden eye I'd be smashing it, you know Okay, well here we go Well listen I'd like you to Spencer Matthews I would like you to look down the barrel And I would like you to give your best James Bond impression The name's Bond James Bond And I'm here On Her Majesty's Secret Service To kill you Nice, that's quite nice. Yeah, yeah. And now, just quickly, last one. You're at a bar, and I'd like you to order a drink.

50:33So, come to the bar. Yeah, I'm at the bar. Hey, what would you like? Vodka martini. Shaken, not stirred. Okay, my turn. Come on. Okay, here we go. All right. Three measures of gin, one of Gordon's, shaken over vermouth, with a little bit of vermililli. Are you asking me that? What are you asking me? With a thin slice of lemon. I'll have one of those too. Keep the fruit. What are you doing? That was fucking thingy from Cina Royale. No, we're in a scene. You're the casting director. I'll have one of those. Can you remember that? I remember. You're a casting director. Get me one as well. You're a casting director.

51:09They all just decide they want one. You're a casting director. Yeah, I know. You keep saying. Okay, here we go. Right, here we go. Ready? Okay, great. So we are looking for somebody to play James Bond. Correct. Obviously, Daniel Craig. Big shoes to follow. Yeah. You're quite short. Yeah, but also with me, I'm quite like robust. Do a rabid dog impression quickly. Go. Go. Go. Improv. It's not all James Bond here. I want some improv. Go. Go. Go. Go on. Rabid dog. That's it. That's it. Go again. Go on. Go. Go. Go. Come on. You can't do it, mate. Honestly. Why should I give you the role of James Bond if you can't play a dog?

51:56Okay, listen, Pug, before we go, we have a quick game. Dad or Daddy? King Yui is bringing it over. Here he is. Okay. Right, we're going to have a workout between you and I who is the standard dad and who is the daddy. The sexy daddy. Daddy. Say daddy. Daddy. Was that it? That was good. Well, I don't know. You wanted a sexy daddy voice. A bit weird, isn't it? A person to bleed a radiator. Just unscrew it, yeah? Could you bleed a radiator? I could bleed a radiator. You could not I could bleed a radiator I don't think there's a Like I would You wouldn't even know Where to begin on a radiator If I was your wife right Yeah And I was coming home From work Yes And I needed With absolute certainty A bath To be run for me I'm not sure I'd call you

52:44I don't think Okay fine We both We both Bleed a radiator We both can bleed a radiator Wear a shirt Offensively open Yeah of course I Do you want to That's you're the daddy. Do you want a true story? Yeah. And it's not really a story. Okay. Every single night, I do a block walk of the dog in just my pyjama bottoms. And you're topless? Topless, no shoes. I walk around the block with the dog. You're actually fucking mental. Why? So you do that every night? Every night, I will take the dog for a lap of the block. In London? In London. No shoes? Not boxes, like trousers, my pyjama trousers. What kind of pyjamas are you wearing?

53:26Like, they've got little zebras on them. And you're wearing that, no top, holding a dog, walking around the block. Shoeless. Yeah. People like it. No, they don't. Yes, they do. No, they don't. People cross the road when they see it. They say, there's that bellend from Made in Chelsea doing it again. No, they don't. Kept an old spare bit of wood in case it comes in handy someday. No. I would do that. Bollocks, Jamie. I've got a bit of wood. What the fuck are you keeping a piece of wood for? I just think it's only a start of fire. I have wood. Start of fire? In your London home? I have wood. Yeah.

53:54Here we go. I love wood. And I do. And I have a block of wood. Grow a sexy moustache. I'm doing that now. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. That's so fun. Oh, blah, blah, blah, blah. No, that's so fun. So I'm literally letting... You're a daddy. You're a daddy. I'm letting my facial hair grow at the moment so that I can then shave and keep the stache. So I literally decided this morning that I'm going with the stache. I think it could have been influenced by Theo James. Okay. In The Gentleman. Okay, what about this? Scare your family with unnecessary loud sneezes Scare them? Yeah What on purpose? You do do loud sneezes You do loud sneezes Yeah we both do loud sneezes Okay Gets compared to other daddies like Pedro Pascal or The Rock I get compared to Pedro a lot No you don't When have you ever been compared to Pedro Pascal?

54:38Pedro Pascal and I are very similar In what way? The Rock? No thank you I love The Rock, Dwayne Johnson I appreciate him But obviously we're not similar Apart from our brute strength Huey who's the bigger daddy? I think Spence is the biggest dad Thank you You get that crown Really? Yeah, see you later, mate Do you think Spen's a bit of a daddy? I do, yeah After this, maybe not before But having met you, yeah Thank you What did you think before? Knob Knob Yeah, fair enough My wife says the same thing She goes I was so pleasantly surprised When we got to know you Because she said I thought you were a real knob before I said, yeah You know, standard stuff Well, listen Spen may be back on again You never know We love you guys If you want to get in touch Send us an email newlyparents at jamporproductions.co.uk You can also send us a message on our DMs.

55:24Newly Parents podcast on Instagram. We see them all. All right, everybody, listen. Remember the thing. If you're getting married, then... Say I do. If you're getting divorced... Celebrate. If you're single... Be happy. And if you're just loving life... Keep going. Keep on trucking. Okay, everybody. We'll see you next week. Goodbye!

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56:46They're timeless. they make everything look more polished and rothy's iconic pointed flat the point has been reimagined to be better than ever it now has a cushioned bouncy insole with much more arch support so it's comfortable enough to wear all day and the point comes in so many gorgeous colors patterns and textures discover the point at rothys.com that's r-o-t-h-y-s.com this is hannah burner from giggly squad opil is the first over-the-counter daily birth control pill available in the U.S. Let's be real, getting a birth control prescription is not always easy and it's so much admin. In fact, about a third of women face barriers to access prescription birth control.

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58:02We love to see it. Hello, I'm Monica Reinagle, host of the Nutrition Diva podcast. Summer is here and with it, the hot and sticky weather. A morning working in the garden or maybe on the golf course can leave you more depleted than you realize. And plain water isn't always the most efficient way to restore the balance. That's where Liquid IV comes in. Its science-backed formula is clinically proven to hydrate faster than water alone. Whether you're exercising, playing outside, or simply surviving a summer heat wave, it's an easy way to stay hydrated. Shop now at liquidiv.com. Liquid IV, hydration that goes wherever life takes you.

58:40At QVC, fall shopping is more than just checking out. It's discovering the brands you love across beauty, fashion, home, and culinary, all in one place. Whether you're getting ready for crisp mornings, cozy nights, or everyday moments, QVC has what you need for the season ahead. With brands like Laura Geller, Philosophy, Ninja, and so many more. Shop now at QVC.com. Thank you.