We Haven’t Slept In Days…

0:00Hello everyone, welcome back to Newly Parents Podcast. Welcome back to Newly Parents Podcast. Welcome back to Newly Parents Podcast. Okay, have you just eaten some garlic? I know, I've got this bone broth in my thing and I'm so scared I've got like thyme in my teeth. That's why I'm standing back and I got all of you could smell it. By the way, just a disclaimer, this episode is going to be absolutely unhinged because we've had zero sleep. And I'll tell you why, okay? I'll tell you why. Last night, our baby boy Ziggy was not sleeping. He was not sleeping at all. and I was like rocking him in my arms at 3am in the morning and this is I don't know why this keeps happening but it's 3am in the morning when I was rocking him I heard this noise come from the corner of the room and the noise was there's a little man in the wall he comes out at night and he gets and so Sophie was sleeping in the bed and I was holding like this I literally went Fuck off!

0:50Fuck off! Because I was... You want to go find the man in the wall? So terrified. And I swear to God, so...

1:03I know what the man in the wall looks like. Sophie, when I was rocking, Sophie looked off her eye mask and went, Did you hear that? I went, yes, what's going on?

1:19You've got so much cereal in your teeth. I mean, you can't. We've got to re-digate that thing. It's like covered, caking your teeth. It's like you've got dentures. So anyway, we've had no sleep because the man in the wall is terrifying. I think our house is haunted. Come on. All right, so listen, this is going to be an episode. Remember to subscribe to our show if you haven't already and welcome to the most unhinged episode of Newly Parents ever. Oh, God. Shall we go down to the basement? Let's go. Record the podcast. No cameras there. We're recording the podcast. You can come with us. Come on.

1:56Hello, I'm Jamie Lang. And I'm Sophie Lang. And now, we're newly parents. Oh, yeah, we are, baby.

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4:12because I really would like you to know because I've been scrolling social media recently and I'm just like, it just all feels a bit down in the dumps. I think we need to lift everyone's spirits. If you were going to get someone to run the world, who would it be? Who would it be? If you were going to, you could pick anyone, anyone you want in the world to be the president, the prime minister, the king of the world, the queen of the world, who would you pick and why? Maybe Erika Jayne. I have no idea who Erika Jayne is. Or Lisa Vanderpump. You'd pick Lisa Vanderpump Yeah You'd pick Lisa Vanderpump Yeah To be the president of the world Or Kylie Jenner You know that Jamie Called me up the other day I'm like literally I'm just so tired And as we know And Jamie's like Sophie You're going to think I'm silly I'm ridiculous I was like Just fucking spit it out Think what's ridiculous He was like I can't say it I was like Tell me I was like I honestly think I'm going to be Prime Minister one day I know darling Magda literally just went like this Jamie She went

5:15But darling Because you've said that to me Not once but twice And I think you forgot Three times a lady I will say you are unbelievable at speeches Not at the moment with my sleep deprivation No But apart from that I am pretty good at them If I was going to give a speech right now I could rally everyone up Should I give you a speech Yes you do it for once All right. Here's a speech to rally you up in this episode to make you really get some fire behind you. Rallying me up, boy. Here we go. Sophie. But you call me that. No, let me do it. Okay. Sophie. Yes. I know that sometimes you feel that you have no energy.

5:51I know that sometimes there's those late nights and you're rocking your baby to sleep and you're thinking, I can't do this. I can't go on. How do other people do this? And I'll tell you this right now. You've got it. You can do this. You know why? Because you're stronger than you think. You're better than everyone. You're braver than you know. No, I'm doing the speech. You're stronger than anything. You know, I saw once, do you know what I saw? I saw a little bird and it was outside and it injured his little leg. And I thought, what is that bird going to do? And it looked at me and it ate some seeds and it flew up onto the nest.

6:24I really like that. I was so captivated. And what did the bird do next? And it looked at me and it said, this little leg is not going to define me. This little leg is not going to stop me from doing all the great things that I want to do in life. and you, you are that little bird. Tweet, tweet. You're a little bit injured at the moment. You're a little bit down in the dumps. You maybe have a little... I'm down in the dumps. You have a crooked leg. Got a great leg. But like that little bird, you will fly. Okay. Right, your turn to really uplift me. Oh, for God's sake. Honey, listen, we're in a sleep deprivation episode.

7:01You need to spur me on. Give it to me going. What do you want to be told? I just want to feel great. Here we go. Janie, I know that you're tired and I know you have bags, but you wipe those bags away one by one. And you get your trousers and you pull them up tight. You tie that bow and you drink that tea. You slap it, in fact, because nothing matters but you. So if you want to slap it, you're allowed to. It's your world and we're just living in it. So get onto your vesper And put in your headphones And you sing from the rooftops Hallelujah As you drive to work And when you get there You eat a bagel Give yourself Give yourself what your body needs, Jamie And don't do your heart And once you eat that bagel You'll feel it energy to the brain and you'll be able to take and tackle everything that gets thrown at you today.

8:06You are you, Jamie. Is this you? And we are just living in it. I feel energised for the episode, honey. I feel energised for the episode. So listen, today's episode, we want to talk about sleep deprivation. How is your sleep at the moment? How are you feeling? I feel rough as old boots. i don't feel great i don't feel great i would like to say you get used to it i keep asking everyone like my sister's like oh you just get used to it i'm like but do you like when doesn't it just get worse how tired you get can i just say the funniest thing that ever happened just so well sophia was so exhausted so exhausted we both were because we were up all night ziggy was just having like not sleeping that well so it was completely and utterly tiring and Sophie's like look I need a massage that's what I need I need to have the most relaxing massage because I just need it and I was like don't worry honey I'm going to organize for you to have a massage so lovely person came he set up the bed Sophie was like so excited to have this wonderful massage so excited this wonderful massage he laid down the thing he's like oh I started playing like massage music everything I was like Sophie you have the best time you enjoy this she's like great she laid down and the man was like you ready she's like ready and she put her arms over the top and as she did that she stroked she stroked the masseuse's penis yeah on the way down and so for the whole massage she just laid there completely still thinking oh my god i've just stroked his penis i groped his his dick i'm not kidding you my arms were there i didn't put my arms down what's a massage they're down by your side but what happened was i thought he wanted to get to my legs so i like move what's was i moved my arm out so it literally looked like i was grabbing his cock and i just moved it out and he didn't move away so i then thought well i can't move away because i need to act like i don't know what i've grabbed So I just kept it there for a minute And then I slowly twisted it back So the whole massage I was ridded with my eyes open Is that the most embarrassing thing that's happened to you?

10:29Um, hmm, maybe, no, I don't know What is the most embarrassing thing that's ever happened to you? What's the most embarrassing thing that's ever happened to you? Have I told you this time the most embarrassing thing that's ever happened to me in my entire life When I landed on the old lady? Have I never told you this? No Oh my god What about when you slept with that old lady? and she wrote i had a good night and in her lipstick on the mirror she did yeah she did how old was she she was 59 and how old were you 24 he said the only he woke up and he thought oh my god i had a really weird dream i slept with said old lady i was like no it can't be right but he really remembered you know old people's skin is just very soft it's very cold and not cold they're not caught it was cold it was cold it's just cold and elastic it's not firm no not elastic it was elastic it's saggy anyway he thought no it must have been a nightmare like there's no one in my bed anyway he goes to brush his teeth or her as well i imagine in the in the mirror it said in red lipstick had a great night with you said old lady that wasn't the story i was going to share so i'm glad you shared that no that is true story but this is no that what happened to me was this is i was in oxford city center and i was playing it was it was my birthday and we were going to laser quest anyone remembers laser man laser quest was the greatest the greatest i lie i hated it why did you just i don't know how can you hate laser quest i hated bowling and i hated laser quest and i just can't bear that anyone used to these parties.

12:05What did you enjoy? I don't know. I'm worried that there was something wrong with me. I just really couldn't understand why people like to run around shooting people. It was tiring. It was difficult. It was dark. It was just not fun. Nothing about it was fun. All the laser questers out there are going to come for you right now. Laser quest is the greatest thing. I would bring back laser quest as a business. Laser quest is still around. I don't think it is. And if it is, we're going on a work trip. Laser quest is still around. Of course it is. I'm going to go on a laser and take it too far. But people, get down, Josh, get down on the ground.

12:36Anyway, this is what happened. We're in Oxford City Centre and we're going to Laser Quest because it was my birthday. And we were playing catch with a rugby ball in like the square there. And one of these sort of council, someone came over and said to us, you've got to stop playing that because it's dangerous because you're going to break something or injure someone. And he walked away and we're like, ah, whatever. And my friend Archie said, go long, go long. So he got it like an American football and threw it to me. and I ran and jumped up quarter and landed on an old lady and broke her hip. And I was like, oh.

13:07Oh my God, I hate you for that. I was like, oh my God. And everyone rushed around and we had to call the ambulance. And it was the most mortifying experience. I don't think you should put that out there. That poor old lady, you should have paid for a hip replacement. She was totally fine. She would have had to have had a hip replacement. I don't know if we broke her hip. I don't know if we, maybe I exaggerated. I don't know if we broke her hip, but she was injured. and it was i know what my worst experience is it's just brought it back it's really really brought it back let's go come on give it to me okay it doesn't sound embarrassing but like when i tell you i still have this i probably was about 13 and i still lie in bed and shiver at the thought of it and i actually feel sad i feel sad about it because it wasn't that embarrassing okay so we were on the beach in spade it's not embarrassing but it cut me deep okay and this boy that i'd fancied so much ever since i was so little was like you know there with his cool hair and he was so hot and sexy and he said can you give me a massage i've told you this yeah and i gave him a massage it's not embarrassing but i can't tell you it still hurts me to this day my mum used to ask me to give her massages when she was younger right she put her shoulders and she used to be like no much harder like she liked really getting in the grit i'm not my mum like slave labor and her children but anyway so i thought when you give a massage you have to like like literally be like because that's what she told me so i massaged this boy on the beach i'm 14 13 years old i fancy him so much and i'm like thinking he's gonna be amazing massaging and he was like oh and in spanish was saying to everyone like oh my god like as i was the hulk he was like that horrible girl she's hurt me he was like ow get off and to this day i could cry thinking about it i was mortified i was like that's why i thought what was his name gonzalo it was gonzalo oh you know he follows me so i feel a bit embarrassed to say these things because what if he like looks at the podcast you were 13 i think he's gonna be fine i don't think he's gonna think he's married i think he's married and he's totally totally over the hill no okay those are the two most embarrassing things but sleep deprivation has really kicked in for us as well hasn't it it has been like to the point guys where we where we don't even know what we're doing this is how bad our sleep deprivation has been how hallucinating we have become how are you speaking english right now no not really but this is how bad it's been sophie invited sophie brought we did it in stages for everyone to come to meet ziggy right so we had sophie's like our family come and then my friends and sophie friends came over and sophie sophie was so sleep deprived didn't know what was going on that she couldn't remember her friends' names.

15:48I said, guys, do you want a cup of tea? And they were like, yeah, I'm obviously holding Ziggy. He's like a week old. And I'm like, Jamie, needs a cup of tea. And I couldn't, it couldn't come to me. And they were there for about four hours and like about 20 minutes before they left, I'd just been sat there thinking, what are their names? And then they all came in. I've known them since I was about five. Like I think their names came in. I couldn't understand and then I was so I couldn't enjoy the conversation I couldn't even Communicate because I was just like oh no Is this like something wrong with my brain Like what's happened I don't know Have I got an illness One of her friends One of her friends I said does anyone want a cup of tea And I said yeah I'll have one I said oh we've got Lapsang Sushang And she went oh I love them So we went So we went Sorry do you know what Lapsang Sushang is And she went, yes, those little fluffy white dogs.

16:48I love her so much. She thought I was going to boil a dog. No, she was like, she went, oh God. What? Why did she see? Our brains have totally like disappeared. Slow, slow as anything. Not witty, not fun, not sharp, not these things. But I think what happens is that it slowly comes back. I do think that it's more to do with the woman's hormones as well. Like everyone says baby brain, but I think there is something. like the brain's slow like it's very very slow completely and i definitely your excuse honey because i'm in the same boat ish as you oh yeah a little bit no we're both tired for sure and also i think that yes i totally agree with you i think mums without a doubt they take the bulk of everything 100 they do but also the the dad's like the only way to describe it is like you're constantly driving down the motorway the whole time driving a car and the motorway is not stopping you basically the the start gun has gone boom and then you're constantly on the race that's what it is and the races are stopping which is and it's the most beautiful race the scenery is amazing it's like full of love it's summer the whole time it's the greatest thing in the world but it is tiring and so we're tired we're tired sister we're tired sister so if you said to me today she was like she's a she was like i'm starting my period so be warned the next couple days are gonna be rough for you and i was like you said to me it's gonna be war for the next two days the period of when you've just had a baby it can't be that bad it's not that bad well i'm just trying to shut you up because you're so sensitive i'm like oh god am i really that sensitive you're so sensitive i'm not that sensitive the more tired you get yeah and like i said you don't acknowledge your tired So like you won't go to bed early Even if your son's asleep You won't You'll just stay up gaming I know I don't game And gaming in just a blacked out room With your tiny little computer And your PlayStation There's no tiny little room That I sit in And what happens when you do All that gaming And you become so tired Is that you become Incredibly sensitive Very sensitive Very very hot And very emotional Hot to handle We started off By having an argument This morning guys Just so everyone can No I didn't have any argument Can I just explain To me that's really not an argument I am not annoyed at all I am tired And you are 100 miles per hour in the morning And expecting me to be really happy So when you go to me over and over again You alright?

19:16You okay this month? So if I annoyed you Then you've annoyed me Because you haven't annoyed me But I'm just tired and I don't want to open my mouth So then I'm going to say Shhh this is it's like you know when people are like are you okay are you okay and then you just start crying you're like well i was okay but now i'm in floods of tears because you keep asking me if i'm fucking okay and maybe i'm not okay deep down in my life and you this morning i'm okay i'm on my period i i'm not drinking coffee anymore what's a girl to do in the morning when they've not slept a wink and i've got you chitting in my ear chitting chipping away i'm literally so be the I came back really late last night from working and I walk into our bedroom and Sophie's, our poor little baby, poor little Zig isn't very well at the moment.

20:05No, he's just got a cold. He's got a cold, but he's snuffly and he's sweet and poor little thing. And he's sleeping in another room. So Sophie's like, look, I really think I need to co-sleep with him tonight. And I was like, of course, honey, let's go, you co-sleep with him. And so I come into the bedroom, the whole duvet is stripped off. Yeah, you've got to co-sleep safely. Yeah, it's all stripped off. There's just a little blanket on Sophie's side. No pillows. she's like are you gonna are you gonna sleep in the bed with me and i went what on just on nothing she was like but you'll find another bed i was like brilliant so i go upstairs to see if there's our bed the other bed's not made so i'm like i'll probably just sleep on the floor i i reckon she's like okay so it's zingy sophie in the bed in this there was so much there was a lot of room but i then go downstairs sleep on the sofa that's what happens i then wake up this morning and i go upstairs to like come see you in the room i can't believe you didn't see you didn't take a picture it was the sweetest thing i've ever seen but that's what i mean that's what upsets me he didn't take a picture of me and my son so i can't capture that moment forever and that's what you should have done okay because he was they were so sweet they were just next to it was most adorable thing i've ever seen i was like oh my god i'll just leave them i was like this is so brilliant and he goes ah hello morning i was like morning honey she was like can i have 30 more minutes i was like of course i sweep our little baby up in my arms i take him downstairs i go and feed him i'm like feeding him well lovely i then for 30 minutes while i had him for the whole night i haven't had a ounce of sleep i feed him oh ziggy this is so lovely then sophie comes down so if takes him i wash up all the bottles stuff this then sophie turns to me goes you don't even help and I was like but I just washed up all the bottles Jamie you had him for 20 minutes exactly I gave him to you at 6 50 I came down at 7 10 and you handed him straight to me which I won and then you go on your phone reply to text and that he hadn't had his food and his he was had a pooey nappy listen you are the best mum so I'm gonna put it out there honey the greatest mum I've ever seen in my entire life no you can't i really i really i really thought it was like okay fine i let you when i was like two weeks ago it was two weeks old called me mama but now at this point it's not okay why not you can't be calling me mama i love it i'm gonna call you mama yeah i'm gonna call you mama for ages no you that you can't i'm gonna call you mama do that you when we're having sex you're gonna be like come on mama sometimes you call me mumsy and i'm like that's really too far for me because that's a little too far like your mom that's a little too far all right honey listen i'll tell you what we're tired we're exhausted shall we go into listeners messages let's go into listeners messages most women have been there something feels off you don't feel like yourself yet your doctor says everything looks fine spoiler it's your hormones midi is a virtual care platform built for women by women and offers specialized hormone care from trained clinicians plus it's covered by most major insurances.

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25:53I've got a listeners message I know but I want to say thank you to you guys you guys for sending in your listeners messages you're sliding into our dms you're sending us emails you're sending us voice notes we absolutely freaking love it we love you guys okay give me one honey go okay this is from anonymous hi sophie and jamie welcome back and congratulations to you both on the birth of lovely ziggy i wanted to write in to tell you about how the birth of my baby boy didn't go quite to plan as a first time mom i was very anxious about labor and i spent a lot of time researching ways to make myself feel more relaxed and comfortable one piece of advice i kept seeing was to make a playlist of some of my favorite songs to keep me going so i spent the last couple of weeks of pregnancy creating a labor playlist of spotify with my favorite chill inspiring songs Think Hossier Yeah love it Fleetwood Mac Yeah love it Vibes Vibes love it The playlist was about 8 hours long So we set up the speaker and let the playlist do its thing Nice Eventually after a long labour The playlist ended And Spotify automatically rolled onto a random spicy sex sounds playlist Sex sounds It was at this point that my husband somehow managed to lose his phone in the room And we couldn't turn it off I don't know when I'm going to break it to my son That he was born to the sound of the random Spotify's user's spicy ASMR playlist.

27:08Maybe on his 18th birthday. Love the plot. No. Wait, what is a sex playlist? I don't understand. I think it's like, that kind of vibe. People have a playlist that's like of not, well, I think if you, if we, I mean, should I give it a go? Let me, let me hear it again. I just thought I'd been like, let's get it on. Okay, hang on. Let me just, I'm going to try and get a sex playlist. ASMR. Here we go. So this is the stuff that was playing while her son or her baby was being born. No, no, no, no, no.

27:45Oh my fucking God. That's like someone eating a burger though.

28:00No, can you put on it? Oh, why are you playing it for so long? this is way too much I would have been like okay I've got one a wild story from anonymous hi Jamie and Sophie in honor of your podcast returning I want to share my most mortifying story with you there's a bit of an age gap between me and my sister so growing up I was always looking up to her one day when I was 15 and she was 20 while I was home alone and she was out seeing her boyfriend I used the opportunity to sneak into a room and snoop around her drawers Feeling bold, I looked in her bedside drawer where I discovered a giant pink dildo.

28:33So I took advantage of being home alone and decided to give it a go. What? Fast forward eight years, my sister was engaged to that same boyfriend. On her hen do, we were playing Never Have I Ever, where my sister revealed that she had a personalised dildo that was moulded in the shape of her fiancé's penis from when they were young. I'd used a dildo in the shape of my future brother-in-law's dick. I'm not being funny, but that's not the bit I'm worried about. Like, why are you sharing your sister's dildo is probably what I'm more concerned about. Because trust me, if I found Georgia's dildo, I would be like, I wouldn't be like, oh, I'll just give it a wipe down and use it myself.

29:09I don't think she even wiped it down. That is wild if that is true. What about when someone we know, they were having sex with this guy and it was in the dad's house and he whipped out a dildo and then it was the stepmom's dildo. someone we know yeah and i was shock horror because for me i'm not touching someone else's dildo because it's been in their vagina that is what isn't that wild it's so wild okay i have one from isabella hey sophie and jamie first a huge congratulations on the birth of gorgeous siggy you'll be the best parents thank you i've waited forever to send my engagement story to you guys and it's finally my turn my fiance james and i met just over four years ago on a dating app or so we thought.

29:54After a couple of dates we realised I actually went to school with his younger sister. Had been over to his family home and even more crazily my photo had been hanging in a picture on his sister's bedroom wall for the last 15 years. He truly is the love of my life, he has the kindest heart and I can't wait for married life with him. It's like we were always meant to find our way back to each other even if it was with the help of a bit of modern dating. He proposed in Tromso on a private husky sledging tour and even arranged for a secret photographer to capture the moment. I couldn't be more grateful for every little detail he put into making it so perfect.

30:28I can't wait to marry you, James. Here are some pics of the special day and the dreaded school photo. That is so sweet. Oh my God, that's the sweetest thing I've ever seen. And I love the way he proposed. I'd love to go on a husky sledging tour. Honey, maybe we should do that together. I would love to. I've been on a husky sledging tour. I've never done it. Guys, congratulations, Isabella and James. We love you both. Okay, I have one from Anonymous, which is a sleep deprivation story. Are you ready for this? I'm ready. Hi Jamie and Sophie, so happy the podcast is back, thank you so much. Now I have a story from the newborn era that I thought I would share with you.

30:59I'm sure you know by now that places that your brain goes when you're low in sleep are truly wild. Wild. Where has yours gone? Oh my god, my brain's all over, I don't even know what's going on left, right and centre. Is it even that? What does that even mean? I don't know. One night deep in the no sleep phase, I woke up to the sounds of my baby stirring. I rolled over to my husband because it was his turn and asked him to check the baby's nappy. He then proceeded to put his hand down his own pants, then sniff his hand and told me that his nappy was clean. It's always good to know that your husband hasn't had an accident and I couldn't help but laugh about how delirious we're both feeling.

31:36I hope the sleep deprivation isn't too awful. Hang in there and remember it does get better. You're smashing it. Thank you very much for that. That's exactly what I... I'm so sorry I can't help it they just come pouring out of me these yorns it's like the never ending yorn listen guys we love hearing from all of your stories we absolutely love them the listeners messages are amazing keep sending them in slide into our DMs love you guys at newlyparentspodcast we'll check them all we love listening to them and reading them and seeing them that's the end of listeners messages can I just say this by the way I am and I hope people don't come I'm sort of glad that I'm not a girl, not a woman, because I think I would make a really bad woman.

32:22What do you mean? Okay, because recently, because of the seat deprivation, the way that I was looking, I went and got this sort of, what is it called, the laser? Harper's wanted to spruce himself up. He wanted to do an injection here, an injection there. I don't do injections. We know I don't do Botox. We know I don't do stuff like that. But I went and had this laser treatment. Laser, I had laser, I don't even know what it is. So what you've had is you've had laser done. I've had laser done. Botox as well. I haven't had Botox. You've had, raise your forehead? No, nothing. Raise? I'm not. That's Botox.

32:53It's not. Look, it's okay. Honey, it's not. It's not. It's okay. You've had laser to get rid of your varicose veins. Is that what it is? Is that what it is? I don't know. I don't know. I had some laser to get rid of the tiredness in my eyes. Whatever it was. I just looked so tired. I was like, to you, I was like, what do I do? So you sent me to your lovely friend. Heart Medical. Heart Medical to get this laser done. and I went and did this with a laser done and honestly, it was like the most painful experience I have ever had. Firstly, they put, had like these things on my eyes. You know what I'd like to do?

33:27I'd like to call a threadist and I would like to get them to come and thread your eyebrows right now. And in fact, actually, let's get them to thread your pubes because that's how thick my eyebrows are. I'm going to do this on next episode. Sophie said to me, getting our eyebrows threaded is worse than that pain. and I do it every 10 days and I said and I said if that is worse than that laser pain and when you get eyebrows threaded no but I just really struggle with my eyebrows being threaded my eyebrows are like pubic hair so when I pull them out it's it's nothing can explain I want I have to control myself not to push the woman I want to push her away I don't because it's so painful it's so it itches me like I want to say stop and like physically touch her because I just need her to get away from me this is what I don't because your pain threshold is so high.

34:14I don't know why my eyebrows it's like little needles being put. I don't understand it. I think they do it on purpose and get them right from the end just to give me more pain. Can we please do this on an episode? Can we please get someone to, is it called threading? I want to thread Jamie's because you've got really fair like blonde, that's not going to hurt. Like let's thread your pubes. Why on earth would I thread my pubes? Because then you can just show that you know my pubes. Who is going to thread my pubes? Poor, some poor, poor, poor person. I feel so sorry about that. Why would they do that?

34:43They must thread your pews, right? They do. They do. Why would you thread... I know my friends thread their whole face because they like a smooth face. Listen, ladies and gentlemen, it's been a chaotic episode today. So what we're going to do is we're going to play a little game. The little game is called Are You Smarter Than a Ten-Year-Old? Are you smarter than a ten-year-old? Are you smarter than a ten-year-old? Shallow, la, la, shallow Are you smarter than a 10-year-old? Okay, we're going to play a game where basically these are questions that a 10-year-old can answer. We're going to find out if Sophie and I can answer them as well.

35:18We're going to play a little game against each other. It's a competition, friendly competition. Okay, Magda, how are we going to play it? So I've got some questions for you. Yeah. And you're going to take it in turns to answer. Can't wait. So question one, Sophie, which of these animals would you not find in the Arctic? A, a penguin, B, a lemming, or C, a snowy owl. A lemming. A lemming is incorrect. What is a lemming? Jamie? A lemming is, they're like little things. They throw themselves off mountains and cliffs. They're like... You're making this up. No, no, they have like a natural pull. They throw themselves off cliffs.

35:52They're like little mice. They're sweet little rodents. And they throw themselves off cliffs. Oh my God, I love lemmings. So over to you, Jamie. With the Arctic, there's no penguins. Correct. There's no penguins in the Arctic. I got thrown off by lemming because I didn't know what it was. I thought assumed naturally that that would be there. All right, next question. Let's go. I like this. Jamie, how many planets are there in our solar system? Dasha, Dancer, Comet and Cupid. No, it is. Okay, it is Pluto, Uranus, Venus, Mars, Earth, Saturn, Jupiter, Neptune. I don't think Pluto is one anymore. So how many?

36:33Eight is correct. Come on. I don't like this game. And you're telling me a 10-year-old knows what a lemming is? Yeah. You're still telling me, yes. 100%. Why have I never been taught what a lemming is? A lemming is an animal. There used to be a game called lemmings. Sophie, this is for you. What type of triangle has two equal length sides and two equal angles? A scalene, an isosceles, or an equilateral? An isosceles. It's correct. Yeah, it's correct. Let's go, girly. Jamie. Yeah. In the year 40 AD, Emperor Caligula tried to conquer Britain but never made it. What did he supposedly bring home when he got back to Rome?

37:10We've got A, 10 gallons of seawater, B, an English wife or C, lots of seashells. What the hell? Well, he must have brought an English wife. Incorrect. What? What did you say? I'm not going to tell you. No help me. I literally said it a second ago and you can't remember it. I was looking at that photo behind you So then And you think I have ADHD I think you said an English wife Oh okay well good luck then So I'm going to say seashells Is correct You brought home lots of seashells Sophie over to you What is the largest organ in the human body Brain, skin or liver Skin is correct Well done sassy girl Okay my turn Susie the stegosaurus eats 200 kilograms of food each week She calculates that 80 % of her diet Is from eating shrubs and bushes How many kilograms is this?

38:07160 Is correct, very good Don't you worry about it, last one each Buzzers please for this one Which of these is a prime number? 21 29 or 39 21 Sophie that's incorrect Jamie That's a prime number It's 29 Is correct what's a prime number you multipled into it right I don't know but that means Jamie is smiling I'm the winner well this has been a wild episode and again as we said at the beginning of the show I apologise to everyone who was expecting something a little bit different but this was just a little bit of an awkward one it's just an insight into what our real lives are at the moment just like chaos and truthfully we did have zero sleep last night because Ziggy was up all night and you slept on the sofa And I slept on the sofa and Sophie slept in the bed.

39:02I mean, so we will be back. We will be back to our normal selves. But as always on our show, what we like to do is we like to end our show with a little story time. So if you're driving the car, watch out because you may fall asleep. So you may want to park in a little lay-by and rest up. So put your little tet on that little pillow. And the bedtime story this week is about a fair maiden named Sophie who has an affair with a man who lives in the walls. It's about a man who makes that quick noise. So you begin, fair maiden. Once upon a time, there was a sweet fair maiden, and her name was Sophie Charlotte Habeau.

39:36Leng. Sophie Charlotte Leng. She was married to the most handsome man of the land. Everyone desired him. He would walk down the street and people would go, No, I can't bear it. I can't bear it. Why on earth am I so unlucky not to have someone like him? And he would look at them and just say, I'm sorry, I can't. give you everything. And Sophie would sit in her huge, amazing house that he had built with his bare hands for her. Because, oh yes, he was also an architect and a builder.

40:14And every night he would come home and he would sexually, he would sexually climax her. She would climax 50 times in a night. And then the fair maiden would go to all of her friends, all of her friends and say I just can't handle it anymore he's too handsome and too good and too good of an architect and a businessman and he is too good at foreplay that I must find someone else and that's when she heard the man in the walls and there she did hear the man in the walls as she rocked her sleepless baby all night long. It went again. What is that wondrous noise? The fair maiden said. Aha, it sounds like the rhythm of her love.

41:10Her love? The rhythm of her love? She let her heart be guided by the And as her handsome, blonde, architectural husband and businessman lay there sloundlessly sleeping. Sloundlessly? Sloundlessly? Sleeping peacefully, she let her heart guide her to the ca-ca-ca-ca-ca in the walls. What did she find? She found a little man. I know how little he was. But his love was great and his heart was strong. and he invited her in to the hole in the wall and she climbed in and there she stayed happily ever after with the man in the wall. It's the most mental story I've ever heard in my entire life. Ladies and gentlemen, that is the end of the show.

42:04Please don't forget to always write in. We want to hear your voice notes. You can send it to the number in the show description. Send us an email, newlyparents at jamperproductions.co.uk slide into our DMs at Newly Parents Podcast on Instagram we're going to see you next week of course but until then if you haven't slept we love you if you're getting a divorce we love you if you're getting married we love you if you're getting engaged we love you if you're about to have a baby good luck if you're single and mingled and just enjoying life have the best time we love you and we'll see you next week goodbye goodbye

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