We’ve had a HUGE argument!

0:02Ladies and gentlemen, welcome back to Nearly Parents. Welcome back to Nearly Parents. So on the menu today, Sophie and I, before we started this episode, had a huge argument. Big, big time argument. So this is going to be a funky little episode. We also talk about going to Oasis together. Also talk about the leak in our roof of our new house. And of course, we have a sex update. Well, enjoy this episode because it's either going to be really good or really bad. Enjoy it.

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2:13Hello, I'm Jamie Leng. And I'm Sophie Leng. And we've been married for two years. And we're having a baby. Yes, we are. Are you ready? Let's go. Welcome back, everybody, to Nearly Parents. Welcome back, everybody, to Nearly Parents. Nearly Parents. So, how are you today, Sophie? I'm good. How are you, Jamie? I'm good, actually. Should we say we had an argument before we started? We always have. We never have arguments. How many arguments do we start the podcast on average? Is it like, would you say quarter? I don't know what it is. I don't know either. Yeah, but you're giving quite oasis with your shell jacket on.

2:56This is a big thing. What is the best way to sort out arguments? Because we've never actually spoken about this on the show and every relationship has arguments. Well, I think that everyone's different. My way of arguing is like, I'll just be annoyed and then I'll just get over it within a minute. But you like to call me out on being annoyed and then draw attention to it and then that's really game over for me. And you love a hash out. You would hash it out. Let's be honest. You would talk about this argument for three days now? Yeah. I'm done. I actually genuinely think I fall asleep. I pass out.

3:31Who do you think starts the arguments? Me, probably. Probably? Yeah, but who carries them on? Okay. Do you think probably I start the arguments or actually... Okay, I start the arguments. Okay. And you... But that's because of the build-up of annoying things that you've done. Like annoying things that you've done and you've done and you've done. And then I'm like... Ah! Well, I take much longer to get over arguments. That's what happens to me. Yeah, this is the thing. So then I regret it. And I take them far. But then I really regret it because I'm like, oh, God. Now we're not going to have a nice week.

4:05Sophie's go-to the whole time is, all you care about is fucking fame and success. And I'm like, what? It's not even in my space. I'm not even thinking about that. It is a bit in your space. It's not in my space. Because, of course. Otherwise, you're not going to get success. I would love you to let us know to anyone who's listening right now. How do you settle an argument? What's the best way to settle an argument? I think just like you either breeze over it and you ignore or you really just cool off. You think that's the way to do it? Yeah. Well, listen, we're friends again. It's all okay. We're back to normal, I think.

4:41I got told this amazing thing, which I've said to you before. In a relationship, you have three options. You can either be the child in response. You can either be the adult in response or you can be the parent in response. The child's response is when someone's getting angry at you, for you to go back, I'm going to get angry at you because you're angry at me. The parent response is don't talk to me like that. That's quite you. Sometimes. No, you're very parent. You need to know. Say what you've done wrong to me, Sophie. I'm like, oh my God. I need you to apologize and mean it and say exactly what you've done wrong today.

5:18I'm like, God. And then the adult response is, oh my God, you're clearly having a really bad day. Like what's going on here? Adults are just, I've never met an adult so nice. Yeah, well, that's the adult response. And actually normally I'm the adult response. I normally go, okay, you're clearly having a bad time. No, I love you, but you are categorically the parent every time. What am I definitely the child? Yeah. Like beyond. Have I ever been the adult? Never. I've definitely been the parent a couple of occasions. No, you haven't. You've never done that either. your only child so that makes sense I'm a child and you're the parent I can walk in I can walk in I can be like oh my god I've just had the worst day ever I'm just really stressed and you'd be like I'm stressed now and I'm like that wasn't even about you no no no I'm not that person I'm not that person because actually god love my mum that is so my mum I'll be like I've got anxiety today you've given me anxiety now I'm like oh god okay that is a little bit you that is also you she's done it again she just did it you just saw her do it there that was in actual present time that was in present time and she doesn't realise you go why are you getting a trip are you anxious and I'm like no you're not anxious are you I'm like no are you yeah I feel a bit off but can I actually just give something Mercury's in retrograde and it's really fucking everyone over everyone I speak to including all my friends like everyone's having a funky time there's loads of funky shit going on I just can't get over that we saw that in real time Sophie acting the child when I was like no you were like no you do that I was like what get over it I'm the child and you're the parent so ladies and gentlemen we went to Oasis together guys everyone it was the best vibe ever like firstly like every it was 90 % men I would say yeah such cute men I don't know if this is a pregnancy thing like all these like northern men I like wanted to kiss like I was like oh my god and these guys were off their faces but not in a gross way like they were so cute like they were so drunk like literally I've never seen anything like it but like in a most adorable way don't you think?

7:22Yeah in a very adorable way they were some guy came up to me and he was like who's your husband? who's that guy? and I went my husband and he showed me and his girlfriend had messaged him saying you're in the same box as Jamie Lange and Jamie Lange didn't say me I was gonna plan anyway I went my husband and he went oh can you take a photo of me and we took a photo together and then like his eyes and he was like delete that delete that my girlfriend she's gonna she's gonna get so worried and then it just went on for ages and it was just like I was like it was just like everyone was like losing their mind they were losing their mind at Norgal what Sophie also did before which is so sweet I came into the house and she was listening to Oasis she was listening to Oasis because she wanted to know all the lyrics and all the songs because you didn't know anything little by little you're thinking everything you ever dreamed of little by little and Wonderwall slip and slide the eye no like guys I'm actually really upset because I'm gonna say something we left before Wonderwall whoa whoa whoa and I am devastated right okay she left before Wonderwall she whoa okay let me put something out there Jamie Lang will leave a party always once that boy wants to leave and I don't you definitely get triggered like there's something you get anxious in crowds or like parties, there is something in you that just needs to go.

8:45And you will leave a party, you will leave a wedding and once you put your mind to it, you're out of there. Anyway, I have to set this. Obviously, the big bangers are champagne, super, no, but I'm wonderful. Yeah. Anyway, Jamie just looks at me and he's like, honey, I think we should go. I'm like, what? Right before the best bits? And he's like, no, but I think we should go. No, no, no, no. No, no, let's replay this. You went, oh, I'm tired. and I went do you think we should go? that sort of happened no no no my legs suddenly got a bit tired there we go but I didn't want to go and then it went on and it went on and like you couldn't get it in your mind that we could stay I was worried about 80 ,000 people all leaving at once and Sophie being pregnant and I understand that and so what we did we left before the last two songs but stood outside the stadium and listened to it being played from the stadium because it was so loud so you could hear it That was a vibe It was actually a vibe And like By the way guys You don't need to buy tickets To Wembley anymore Because everyone just Stands around it Like literally Having the best time They were all drinking They were all dancing You could hear it You could basically You were having just It was the greatest time ever It was so much fun But I am devastated That we didn't say But you know what Like fair enough Because like Honestly 900 people Stroke my stomach Which is really sweet What do you mean Who was stroking your stomach So many people They were stroking your stomach The man who we spoke to, who just had a, he had like a full month, loved a little stroke of the stomach.

10:16You know what it is? It's the women don't do it, but the men do. I find it very sweet. Like, I eat share own, like lots of women really don't like it. Like, I have no qualms. I find it really sweet when the men are like, can I touch your tummy? You're like, you're just doing that because you think that's what you should do. They're like, oh, pregnant women, is that what we do? We put the hand on the stomach. Can we say this, guys? We felt the baby kick. Jamie felt the baby kick Guys it's like a little foot It's a little foot that suddenly went Into the stomach and I felt it there No it feels like a fish Swimming through your stomach That's how I would say it like a fish It's insane you can put your hands on the tummy And you can feel the baby kicking Like I can't tell you what it does There must be some sort of chemical reaction that happens Oxytosis Something freaking happens Because when I put my hand on your tummy You say it's kicking and I feel the kick Something goes through my body like something hits me some chemical nails my body and it's like the only way to describe it is like pure love like I've never felt that pure love like real pure love okay well I don't seem very excited but I felt the kick about three weeks ago so I'm like Jamie literally felt two days ago it's insane for three solid weeks I've been going kicking and Jamie puts her hand and there's nothing so now we're finally at the stage where you can feel it which is really so sweet because your little face was so excited.

11:40I can't tell you the love. It's insane. I know. It's so insane. Sometimes, like, the baby's crazy. Like, the baby's like, kick, kick, kick, kick, kick. And I'm like, whoa. And then just chilling sometimes. I'm hoping that, like, when baby arrives and I hold the baby, whenever I was feeling in those little kicks, I'm going to get that same feeling holding that baby. I know your sister said like Because we were talking about giving birth to the placenta last night Oh my god, guys, this is the most full on thing in the world Okay, explain all this So we know that you give birth to the placenta after you give birth Which is this enormous organ that women It looks like a big jellyfish But what I want to know, right Is do some women have enormous ones Because, by the way, you don't know what my sister's was Double that size that we saw last night She gave birth They were like, oh my god It comes out of you?

12:35Yeah. Is it like whole? It doesn't pop? Like how does that not pop? We're going to chop it up and like fry something. Sophie said to me she wants to blend her placenta and drink it. Tash did that. My sister did that. So what I'm going to do is I'm going to sliver off a bit and I'm going to blitz that up, down it, and then what I'm going to do is I'm going to capsulate it and then I'm going to take them the whole time. Okay, explain to me, an uneducated individual, why eating your placenta is a good thing okay so from what i know and i don't know much i think it just is a good thing so that's what i got told it's a good thing so clearly i'm and it's like anti-aging and like fountain of use so obviously i'm like give it to me in abundance but secondly i'm imagining it is full of nutrients because it's what's been feeding your baby so you we give birth to the baby then you give birth to the placenta yeah and the placenta comes out.

13:27And it's attached to the umbilical cord which is attached to the baby. And then what you throw the placenta over your shoulder because it's that big and then you go and like put it into a blender and blend it up. I don't know I'm going to have to say to the midwife like please can you keep that for me somewhere safe? Where do they throw the placenta? I imagine most people's like In the bin and it just goes somewhere. And what if I give birth in a bath? Is it just going to be bobbing to the top like a big bloody jellyfish? And also like the thought that you cut the umbilical cord then shivers down my eyes.

13:55I cut it. My brother said to me last night is that the one thing he regrets still to this day is cutting the umbilical cord of his daughter when he was doing it. He said it was the most horrific thing ever. But he also hates getting mud on his fingers.

14:15Jamie said that when he was a child. He'd be like, oh no, that's mud. He hated getting mud on his hands. You haven't heard what my mum said about the baby. My mum said when she gave birth to the baby Which baby? All babies When she gave birth to the babies She got hands How many babies has she got? She had three babies And when I or my brother or my sister was handed Like apparently we're covered in like gunk And just like thinking She was like oh my god The vanay And they said go on kiss it And my mum was like Can you not just clean the head quickly? She didn't want to kiss I know your mum when I said So when my sister gave birth and like the photos that like Barry must have taken or something, everyone's like, oh, so sweet.

15:00Katty's gorgeous. Your mum, she still has blood on her. Because your dad had like a bit of blood on her. And I was like, I actually saw that too and was like, oh, surely they just wiped the blood off. Blood is everywhere. Just to understand. So we are going to eat the placenta. You don't have to, but I am absolutely going to eat the placenta. We've been figuring out our birth plan at the moment, which is very exciting. And we don't know what it is yet. But turns out, if we do a water birth, I can get in the bath as well. Which I can't wait for. I am going to get in there completely naked. You're absolutely not.

15:39I am, 100%. I'm going to get in there completely naked. I reckon I'd get in there and I'd shit myself as well. No, you shouldn't shit as well. So the thing is, is that women shit themselves giving baths sometimes, right? Because you're push, push, push, push, push. and some people that we know did water baths and they shat themselves a bit and I just find the thought of I don't know how good that is for the baby like to be poured into water that's like contaminated with my shit it's surely infections right away like you know what I mean? Look, we're not going to say what we're having but I'm very excited to discover all these things I'm terrified that you're going to give birth to a jellyfish and then we eat it Yeah, but you know what you really won't like is the cerv, what's it called?

16:22The cervix, the something. The cervix? No, it's like that, like, thing that comes out, the plug, the cervix plug. Oh, the mucus plug. What is the mucus plug? It's just, you know, by the sound of it, it's absolutely vile, whatever it is. That, no thanks. The other things that we found out, we went for dinner with my, my family last night, because my little brother George, who is the greatest, is going away for a year, and a year abroad, because he's at, he's at a university. I'm so sad about it. Very sad. But we heard some insane stories. which I'm going to relay. One of the wildest wedding stories that I've ever heard in my entire life.

16:57My brother's friend went to a wedding. It was at the end of the meal and the groom stood up and said, I've got one more speech to give. And he stood up and said, there's a few of you out there with roses underneath your chair. So you with roses, can you grab the rose from underneath your chair and hold it up in the air? So the people invited went under their chair and got the rose and pulled it out and put it above the chair and he went, so all of you have had sexual intercourse with my wife during our relationship. No, no, no. Since I've been engaged. Since I've been engaged. Since I proposed her.

17:31This wedding is annulled. I'm now going to leave. Thank you very much. And left. Right, and the debate is That is savage. Do you think delay, which I do, or do you think he just stooped as low as her and what a dick. Because I am like, couldn't have done it better myself. I probably would have gone even deeper But I am like Impeccable Impeccable You would have done that If you had shagged five of my bridesmaids Oh you bet you I would have You wouldn't have been able to hold that There's no way Your emotions Your fiery emotions There is no way In hell I don't know I think I'd be able to hold it Oh you would You will think that Jamie's Scorpio and there is a sting I wouldn't believe I'd be able to hold it really savage like that and i would really shock the whole world but that is so you i would more so like shave someone's head off or like just rip them with my nails whereas you would like really plot it and plan it my god the other thing we found out is there is a place in the in germany called the burkheim which is a big nightclub a very fun nightclub and my brother's friend also went to this place and they did something called the slip and slide where lots of people gathered around a little slip and slide all masturbated onto it and then slid through it slide on the car and then you can lie on a on a shower on a bar and then people pee on top of you and it's and you you just like and then what i want to know is then you go into the club stinking of piss and like this club's open for three days so like you're just dried piss like the whole club must reek of just like bodily fluids oh ladies and gentlemen.

19:17Okay, on that note, let's go into the lovely dictionary corner. Dictionary, dictionary, dictionary corner. Pregnancy edition. So I want to know, Jamie, if you are ready to be a parent. So I have some words for you that are pregnancy related and I want you to tell me what they mean. Okay, give it to me. Numero uno, pseudo-saisis. Pseudo-saisis. Oh my god, this is really quite a lot. So pseudo-cream is like a cream that you put on like your butt. Oh, you've lost it because it's spelled P-S-E-U-D. It is spelled with a P? I'm thinking more like pseudo, like psychic. Okay, just tell me, what is it?

19:56Whenever a woman experiences signs and symptoms of pregnancy without actually being pregnant, hmm, I thought it was called a phantom pregnancy. Cuvade syndrome. Cuvade syndrome? Mm-hmm. I have no idea, tell me. A condition where a partner of a pregnant person experiences symptoms similar to those of pregnancy including nausea, weight gain, fatigue, Moose wings And either labour pains If you started saying You're uterus I think I have it Or like you were going And having contractions I would literally Kick you into Timbuktu I think I have it a little bit In what sense? I don't know I think I do I think I have like Like pregnancy symptoms No you don't You put COVID And you spread it Across the whole of UK That's what you had That's what you had not But I will say they're not I think I had COVID They feel mildly similar In many ways I think, well, I had flu.

20:45I was very, very unwell. And I think I gave it to Sophie. He slobbered all over me. He was like, I feel so ill. I was like, I'm pregnant. And then I was knocked onto my feet for about three days. I literally didn't leave the bed. I was like this for three solid days. I couldn't move. My head couldn't lift the pillow. My eyes couldn't shut. They were so sore. My nose breathing through it. I was like, this is rough as old boots. I'm still not out of it. And that, my friend, was all you. Okay, ladies and gentlemen, you know what time it is. It's time for Listener's Messages.

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24:10Well, once again, thank you so much for your messages. We really love them. Ah, we bloody love them, and I have a wild story from Anonymous. I have a rather awful but funny story. I can't wait. Eight months into me and my partner dating, we were feeling a bit frisky and decided to do the deed. At the time, I was quite bad at remembering to take my pill, so we opted for a condom to keep things safe. After the deed was done, my boyfriend headed to the bathroom, took off the condom, and jumped straight into the shower. It was late, and about 3am, so we went straight to sleep. In the morning we woke up to find a very angry text My father-in-law saying No need to teach your little sister sex ed Because she managed to find your used condom On the side of the sink And decided to come and show it us at breakfast As she thought it was a see-through sock No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no That is giving me with my sister growing up That is, what do you mean?

25:05What happened with your sister? You know No, I don't know You know I have no idea You know I have no, tell me You know Tell me okay so my sister had um she always had boyfriends and she had this spanish boyfriend and he used to come over and he like the rule was he would always be able to bring friends she'd have a friend and then it'd be like four people staying in our house right whilst he was there he obviously stayed in a spare room with his his cousin at the time anyway we had this end sort of living room that no one went into and i was like where's my sister where's my sister and like her cousin was like don't go in there don't go in there so i went in and she was on her knees performing a um a sexual hack to her boyfriend and so i screen burst into tears it's like midnight right and what do i do i run up and wake up my mom and dad and tell them exactly what i just walked into what did your sister do i thought it was like illegal like i did not think that was allowed so i was like crying she obviously like punched me i think genuinely think she punched me and my dad was just like why are you telling me this but i thought what she was doing was a criminal offense and like she genuinely should have got arrested and gone to prison because she was doing anal no it wasn't anal she was being a pickle smoocher she was being a pickle smoocher that's exactly yeah she was really like learning how to pickle smooch at that time probably first time pickle smooching scarred for life i remember she just turned around and i saw she saw me in the doorway and i was like 10 and i was like and the guy was just like do her head what was it and it was just me and my pajamas like a teddy bear crying okay come on pickle smoocher so this is baby story from anonymous i have a story for you both and i promised you it's 100 % true picture this it's my first pregnancy i'm four weeks overdue oh god overdue four weeks and only a couple days away from having it to be induced by this point we tried everything to induce labor sex curries acupuncture you name it i tried it the midwife suggested one last stretch and sweep to avoid induction and asked if a student midwife could perform it i'm in a cubicle ready cut and drawn and my mum is sat beside me student walks in she's gloved and lubed and in she goes and inserts her hand into the wrong hole no no no no no i can't be no you're joking hand her whole hand her whole hand into her asshole yeah her whole hand the student midwife performed a stretch and sweep up my arsehole.

27:53Arsehole? Arsehole. I shut up the bed in shock and before I could open my mouth she said, I think I can feel your cervix. No. To which I replied, you can't. You've gone in the wrong hole. I'm dying for the student. No, no, Sophie, how has this person gone up the wrong hole? To say she was mortified would be an understatement. It happens. It can't happen. My mum looked like she had seen a ghost. The midwife pulled out her fingers out of my arsehole, cried and let the cubicle. In what the chief midwife equally horrified and so apologetic. I was so overdue that I was beyond the point of caring by this point and just felt so sorry for the poor midwife.

28:31Not even a stretch and sweep of the arse-induced labour and I still had to be induced two days later. That is genius. Sorry, that's how uncomfortable you must have been that you didn't even scream with pain that whole fist went up your anus. Like, that is agonising. That is agonising. They're poor, poor, poor students. she's scarped life. You know we like to give little sex updates. Yeah. It's been zero. Yeah, well, I think you were a bit frisky one morning. No, I really wasn't. You were a little bit frisky. I don't think the sex updates are of anyone's interest. Really, they're not. I won't say much more, but it was a morning where you were a bit frisky suddenly.

29:14Yeah, yeah. Sophie had a little glimmer of the old Sophie arrived back. He just went to an Irish accent. Yeah, the old glimmer of Sophie arrived back and she was like, morning, you old fox. And I was like, what's going on here? I think it's because you had a sexy dream. You didn't. I think you had a little sexy dream. I didn't have a sexy dream. You sound like Pierce Brosnan from that thing. You had a wee sexy dream. I didn't have a wee sexy dream. Okay, let's go this voice down. You did, you little rascal. I didn't. okay Raffi play the boy snort hi Sophie and Jamie congratulations on your pregnancy news I had a little boy six months ago and it is genuinely the best thing ever and just continues to get better and better as his little personality comes through I wanted to ask whether Sophie was planning on doing any baby classes once your little one is here and I wanted to share with your story about the first baby class that I did.

30:17Let me tell you, a baby sensory class is an experience in and of itself. The class had just started and the woman started introducing herself and saying, hello, everybody, welcome to baby sensory. And I was thinking, oh my goodness, what am I doing here? And then all of a sudden, I just hear this massive fart and I realised that it's come from my baby. And everybody's like looked over and it's like sort of smiling. and I'm like oh like having to make clear that it was the baby and not me um and then she like carries on and then I hear another fart quite clearly followed by a follow-through and I realized that my baby has done a massive poo explosion and everybody in the class has heard it so um that was fun but you learn fast sometimes being thrown in the deep end is the best way to go uh good luck with everything you guys are going to be amazing oh my god that is so cute can i just say i'm like so like am i gonna turn into the mum there hello my little baby because i don't feel like that's very me because i get a bit like oh we're not the so you're not going to do baby talk to the baby you're going to talk it like it's an adult i'm going to be like so what do you want for lunch day you're going to talk to it like it's an adult So we have some blended cottage cheese and avocado?

31:40No. But you know what I mean. Pretend I'm the baby. Go. Here we go. So shall I do this? Hello, my little baby. How are you again? Because I literally am like, when people do that. Okay. So I'm the baby. I'm in the cot. You come in the morning. You're going to wake me up. Go. Good morning. Rise and shine. You've got to get out today. I'm joking, guys. Try and do it. Try and do it. Come in. Ready? Morning. Did you have a nice sleep? are you hungry yeah me too come on get my boob no i'm joking i will be very sweet but i find the baby voice i find the baby voice thing it's like it's a little bit funky for me don't come at me moms i'm sure i will do it too because look everyone seems to like cave and do it but it's i don't think you're gonna talk to our child like as an adult hello how are you so what are we gonna to talk like hello my little baby hey baby how are you that's not like that's how you talk to me i know i'm the child and you're the parent but seriously okay um oh is that it oh no i've got one i've got a love story from joe give it to us joe my wife laura and i got married in october 2023 which was the most incredible day i sobbed so much when i saw laura walking down the aisle after the wedding we decided that we wanted to start a family but we would wait until after we'd been on our honeymoon which was a road trip through Canada in August 2024.

33:07Unfortunately the week before our trip my nan suddenly became very ill. She was the most caring woman and even from hospital she made sure we went on our honeymoon. During our trip we got a phone call to say that she had passed away which was horrible to deal with on the other side of the world. After we returned and made through the transition back into life Laura sat me down and handed me a gift inside was a little outfit and a positive pregnancy test the tears could have filled the room we hadn't been actively trying at this point nine months later i'm sat writing this with our gorgeous girl i must be all in so i'm gonna go everly margot fast asleep in my arms although we lost my nan she lives in our memories and through the life of our baby girl whose name was inspired by both of our nans life has its way of giving back to you when you're at your lowest and Everly is more than we could ever have asked for.

34:00Guys, congrats. That is so sweet. That is so sweet. Everly Margot is such a cute name. That is the sweetest, sweetest little name in the world. Isn't it? Oh my God, guys, congrats. Congrats, sending you so much love. Send us a picture of her. I'd love to see her. All right, can I just say a huge thank you for running in your messages? We freaking love them. We love them. More voice notes, the better. Also, I want to try something very special. I think what would be really nice is if we surprise the unsung heroes once a month. So if we do something really nice for someone, but we want you, you lovely listeners or everyone watching this to send in someone that you think deserves something great to happen to them.

34:41And we want to surprise them in a certain way. So it may be your neighbor, it may be your brother, your sister, your husband, your wife, it may be your dad or mom or grandparents, Someone that has done something amazing But has been unsung about it And we want to do a special surprise for them I love that Yeah, so send in your suggestions of the people that you think are the unsung heroes Send it in to at nearlyparentspodcast on Instagram With the suggestion Or you can send us an email nearlyparents at jampodproductions.co.uk Because we want to do something special for them And we're going to do this once a month So let us know That's the end of That's the end of That's the end of listeners messages

35:24one of the things that we have obviously spoken about on the podcast we haven't mentioned in a while is our house renovation which by the way is still going on this is why you haven't seen anything we haven't spoken about it it's a never ending saga really it's a never ending saga of leaks and burst pipes we have a leak in our roof and scaffolding know what's it called scolding snagging snagging we have a leak in our roof is that what it is Yeah, we have a leak in our roof. So it's not a leak from our bathroom? I think it's coming from the bath because I took a bath and that's when the leak started.

35:55You took a bath in that bath? Yeah. Why would you take a bath in that bath? Because I wanted to. I thought it was a lovely... It's such a deep bath. I thought it would be lovely. Oh my God. Why would you do that? You've caused the leak. No. Our whole kitchen roof is going to come down. I'm obviously going to take a bath at some point. Oh my God, you caused this leak. Are you so bummed at yourself? No. I wouldn't be able to sleep. I'd be so cross with myself. What are you talking about? Or just like, argh! Because that's everything fucked. The whole kitchen's got to come down. Whoever would have the bath in the future was probably going to have it.

36:25I would know that was just a show bath. No one's going to have a bath in there. You're not ever going to have a bath in that bath? Don't like baths. How do you not like baths? I don't like baths. You just stew in your own dirt and they're so hot. I get so stuffy. I run it. It takes 20 minutes to run and then you dip your toe in. You're in it for two minutes twiddling your thumbs and then you get out and then you shower because you've just been lying you're in your filth. Don't you think? What? That's my view of bath. So you're annoyed that I've made the leak in the thing? Well, I didn't know it was you, but we might have another argument now.

36:56Oh, do you know what else is? This is the other thing that happened. It's because now we have this beautiful kitchen, which we can't wait to show you. It's amazing. And Sophie and I will try and have breakfast together or meals together, because that's just really lovely. Sophie finds the way that I eat cereal at the moment annoying. No, no, guys, it's absolutely fascinating. Right. He gets the bowl. He pours the cereal in. he's hunched over and the jaw's out and he's not looking up for it he's like the jaw's out and he's looking at it and i'm like it's just cereal like it's not you know it's not caviar it's not a steak it's not a burger it's cereal and your jaw's out and you're like dribbling you shake the crunchy nut in and then you pour your semi-sim milk over and then you get your spoon and then you go You pick the bowl up from the table and then you go...

37:45You mix it as though you're whisking scrambled eggs. It is two ingredients. Milk and cereal. You put the spoon in, you stick it into your mouth, but you mix it all around and then in between every bite, into the mouth, mix, mix, mix. And it goes on for hours. Are you sure? What's wrong with that? Just put the spoon in and you put it in your mouth. This is what I... You don't mix cereal in. There's no mixing. Wait, just tell me what other little things annoy you that I do that I don't know. The cereal is like out of control. It's like nothing I've ever seen. Also, I'm not so much of a fan of putting like the crisps onto the plate.

38:22I just take them out of the packet. Why do we have to shake, shake, shake? Everything's so dainty. Like shake, shake, shake. Get a few crisps out. I'm like, you're going to eat the whole packet. Just get your hands stuck in. Get in there. Shake, shake, shake. Dip, dip, dip in the hummus. Just like scoop. The homos are. It's that reason. Dip, dip, dip. What other things? What other things? Okay, producer Magda has a little game we're going to play today. What is it, producer Magda? It's called Baby Brain Busters. Baby Brain Busters. Let's go. I want to see who really knows their stuff when it comes to parenting.

39:00Done. So I've prepared a little quiz to test both your knowledge. I'll ask a series of questions and whoever buzzes first gets the chance to answer. Okay, what's your buzzer? Mine's buggerish Okay Okay the buzzers are locked in Let's play On average in which trimester do expecting couples have the most sex? Buggerish Sophie? Second Correct Ding ding Okay we're hanging Can I just There is zero sex Zero That's not true Okay next question Honey we've had sex once and you freaked out And you thought our unborn child was pregnant What's the best position to have sex in while pregnant? Spooning Is it?

39:44I don't imagine so Not missionary, missionary is a bit hard Well how would you get there? I don't know, that tummy would be right And certainly not doggy Not on top? Oh yeah, maybe So interestingly, doggy is number one But spooning was number two Doggy number one, I feel like the weight of the stomach would like stretch my skin and like my boobs would just be like udders on the bed. Your boobs and stomach would be scraping the ground. Yeah, it'd be just like, I'd look like a pregnant dashing. Or a pregnant gal. No, because this doesn't touch the floor. Okay, go Magda. What's the average time it takes to change a nappy?

40:27Sophie. Five minutes. Correct. Bosh, just guess that. Very good. Bosh. True or false Orgasms can cause labour True False You're just buzzing in Without like even knowing The answer I thought that was true Because you're meant to have sex Loads when you're Wanting to induce labour Okay keep going On average How long do most doctors Recommend waiting Before having sex After giving birth Six weeks Correct Ding ding How many nappies Does a newborn go through Per day Buggerish Four Incorrect Twelve Correct 12 Can I just say I am completely Gassing these And I don't know What's going on 12 12 They shit a lot Wow Okay last question What is the name Of the hormone That is released During breastfeeding And during orgasm Oxytocin Ding ding Correct I think that's a win To Sophie Honey this is unbelievable You actually nailed the game What's the game called Magda This is Baby Brain Busters Baby Brain Busters Winner I absolutely love that.

41:34Also, by the way, guys, stay tuned on our YouTube channel at Nelly Parents because we have a special episode that we're launching on there. We recorded this a while ago. Really fun episode that we went and actually visited, the Love is Blind pods. And we did a really fun episode with it. We're finally going to get it out. It's really exciting and really fun. So make sure you check it out on Thursday. Before we go, remember, if you know any unsung heroes, someone that you really think deserves something special to happen to them, Let us know. Plus stories and everything we want to hear from you at Nearly Parents Podcast on Instagram.

42:07Sign to our DMs. Or you can send us an email, nearlyparents at jampopproductions.co.uk. Everything is in the show description. And of course, we'll see you next week for another episode of Nearly Parents. Until then. If you're getting married. Good luck, baby. If you're getting pregnant. Oh yeah, go out and rip into each other. If you're single and ready to mingle. Drink that in. And if you're renovating your house. Ooh, make sure there's no leaks. We love you. Goodbye. Have a great summer. See you next week. Goodbye.

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