Will Sophie EAT her Placenta?!

0:03Well, welcome back to Nearly Parents, you lovely, wonderful mofos. Little ladies. And gentlemen, and every single person in the world who is listening. Today on the menu, we have Sophie. We have discussions about my placenta and whether I'm going to eat it. We have pregnancy tips. We have listeners' messages, of course. And I talk about how I want to dress Sophie up as a cow and milk her. All coming up on this episode. strap in and enjoy baby and remember to subscribe

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2:31You can search by what matters, like insurance, specialty, identity, or availability. And you can book a therapy session in minutes and begin in as little as two days, not the national 48-day average. See if you could pay as little as$0 for therapy in seconds at growtherapy.com slash ACAST. That's growtherapy.com slash ACAST. growtherapy.com slash ACAST. Availability and coverage vary by state and insurance plan. Hey, it's Hannah Burner from Giggly Squad and the holidays are around the corner, which means I'm officially entering my hostess Hannah era with Arm & Hammer hardball cat litter. You guys know I love cats and fostering, but when I'm hosting, I do not want my house smelling like cats.

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3:38hello i'm jamie lang and i'm sophie lang and we've been married for two years and we're having a baby Yes, we are Are you ready? Let's go Well, looky here Look who it is I hate the looky here And I hate the, like, American The way that I look The, wow This is happening more and more There's not a word that comes The words don't come into my head You have what I can only describe American, southern, cowboy Sorry? Are you alright? What's the music I like? Yeah, I am. What's the music I like? You quite like heavy rock. No, what's like the chicks? What would you classify them as? Country music. Country.

4:24Sorry, what is going on? I don't know. I don't know. You're losing your mind. My brain's shrinking because my baby's taking all of my brain cells out. Is this a thing that happens? I think so because every day, you know when you try to speak another language and you know the word but it's not coming in? That's me but now with English. Okay, break this down for me. What do you mean? What do you mean? Like, I'm talking to you and I want to say your eyes are green, but I'm like, your eyes are, and green just won't come in. And nothing comes in. It's like, it's like crickets in there. In your brain?

4:55Yeah. What is going on? Is it really that? It was like yesterday when you asked me, Jamie asked me on radio what five times five was and I genuinely didn't know. And actually, can I just, I want to go over that. That was horrific of you. It wasn't even live. It wasn't live. Well, I don't know how radio works. and I spoke when it was live to a guy who walked in I went hey Jack how are you and everyone was like that was live do you think they have do you think you'll be so let's test your baby brain for a second we're not going to no we're just going to have a fun game with it no because everyone tests my brain all the time and it's not funny and no one cares anymore just going to test your baby brain and I got a 2-1 at Newcastle in journalism motherfuckers to all those journalist students who were out there saying Sophia Buderson deserved to be on radio because I'm a journalist.

5:43You're doing, I got a 2-1 at Newcastle for journalism. Wait, let's test your baby brain just for a second. All right, I'm going to do a little test. You can test me back. It's fine. You don't have a baby inside you. Yeah, I know, but you can test my brain. Five fives are? 25? Oh my God. I really don't know. I've not done maths. I was bad at it at school. Please don't ask me maths. It's fine. We're going to go for easy ones. No, I'll ask you something. We're going to go for easy ones. Please spell genuinely because I know that's easy and everyone's thinking that. Obviously he's not He probably can't So go on Give it a go I'm not going to do it Our child has Absolutely no doubt Okay I'll translate genuinely If you say 10 tens are No 100 Please just stop It's like I can't It's like giving me Severe anxiety Okay last one I'll do No I'm not going To do a last one Last one And your Your new teeth Are scaring me Last one No your new teeth Are scaring me I don't know They're so like The same level What do you mean about my new teeth?

6:43Well, you've got some new gnashes, don't you? I don't understand what you mean I've got some new gnashes. You've got some new composite bonding. I don't know. Is it like veneers? I don't have veneers on my teeth. On the teeth? No, I got my teeth straightened a little bit. But why? Because you had veneers anyway, no? I've never had veneers in my... Sorry, bonding. I've never had veneers. I've had bonding before. I've straightened my teeth. What do you mean straightened? You didn't get braces. So what do you mean you straightened your teeth? You make them look straighter. Oh, at the bottom? Yeah.

7:11So you shaved the composite bonding or you got more put on. I don't understand what all of this is. I just... Well, you only had it done. So whilst I'm au natural and can't even put fake tan on, you're getting Botox and fake teeth just to support me in the pregnancy era. Last one I'm going to do, and then we'll move on. And then I'll support genuinely. Seven sevens. No, I don't know. I can't tell you. What's seven sevens? No, just try... 42. Cancel this. I don't fucking know Yes you do I really don't Seven sevens are Forty Nine There you go You've nailed it I just guessed that Off the top of my head I don't know And who cares That's what's important It's not I don't sit and do crosswords It's not a word I don't give a fuck It's not a crossword Okay Well you should do some crosswords Because you can't spell Genuinely spell it G-E-N U-I-N I have to write it down ILY no okay bye last one I'm going to say no I'm really getting angry now because there's a whole room of people now that's alright it's not alright capital of America stop I don't want to New York what is it New York what the fuck is capital of America you have to cut this out where is the White House Michigan

8:38oh my god is this your baby i'm so sorry this is your baby i was so bad for my dad he paid me to go to a school

8:50Washington DC obviously you need that you're hurting my stomach now can you please stop you're causing me to have stress now one thing i want to talk about right because obviously Firstly and foremost, everyone, welcome back to the show. Hey, how you doing? Secondly, I want to ask, because we like asking this, how are you feeling at the moment? Give it to me. I feel really good this week. Amazing. I feel really good this week. And I'm actually going to talk about what your sister gave me. So Jamie's sister, Tash, is a homeopath. She's a homeopathic doctor. She's a homeopathic doctor. And she gave me this amazing sort of like tissue salt pregnancy thing thing where you take a month three to whatever.

9:32You take this, that and the other. And so I'm taking these tissue salts and I really think they're amazing. Tell you what, we'll leave my sister's business in the description below. She's an amazing homeopathic doctor. She truly is. She gave me some homeopathic medicine the other day. It's all herbs and it basically realigns your body and it's incredible. I'm a big believer in homeopathic stuff. I don't take neurofens and paracetamol unless I have to. I don't really take them. I like being a bit free of all of that. You don't ever have a headache. I do have a headache I get a headache a lot of the time Because I hear this Well anyway So she's given me these things And I actually went off iron Because so many of you guys Wrote in and said that My bowel situation Was to do with the iron That's in the pregnancy vitamins And so since going off that I feel a million times better What because you're not as gassy No it's not gas It's like Iron is like putting a plug up your arsehole It's like honestly It's horrific Explain it to me What happened It's like You want a constipation Here Don't have an Imodium Have some iron tablets I don't understand Why people sell that shit Without a warning on it How long didn't you shit for?

10:42I don't want to talk about that Just tell me Give me a day I told you How many? It was like once a week Oh my god For three months Okay so And how's the rage towards me? Fine Okay that's good news It comes in ebbs and flows. It comes in ebbs and flows in a bit. What is it that I do is the most annoying thing? Nothing that's annoying. But if we have an argument, you annoy me. Yeah, that's fair enough. I get that. But you don't annoy me on the day-to-day basis. Do I not? No. I think I do. I think I do things that annoy you. I'm doing this thing at the moment, apparently, which I'm smothering Sophie.

11:15Oh, my God. You're so annoying. So here we go. I knew it would come up. Apparently, I'm smothering her too much. I'm going to give you my version. My wife is pregnant. She's feeling lovely. She's having a great time She's feeling lovely She's just You know She's wonderful She's pregnant She's carrying our baby It's the most beautiful thing In the entire world I like talking to our baby I like whispering Sweet nothings to our baby I like cuddling All this kind of stuff Like As soon as I come near you You can sense That I'm behind you Yeah because You are like a walking furnace You're so hot And it is 30 degrees in London And for me I feel like A big hot hippo And then I've got you Creeping around me While I'm like On the sofa and I'm so hot and the sofa's not big enough for my legs and my body anymore.

11:58And it's just horrible. And then you're there breathing down my neck with your heated body. And I'm just like, but why can't you stay on the other side? Everything that I do is wrong. Can I just say so many of you listening have written in the funniest shit to me. Are you serious? I should really screenshot, sorry. but it's all about their like, I, my husband even breathing gave me the ick. When I was pregnant, my husband ate an apple and I thought I was about to throw up looking at him. And I'm like, I am crying because this is obviously a thing. Sophie hates me. She, honestly, I left the house.

12:40I left the house one day and I got outside the house and I went, I think she actually hates me. It's not true guys. I couldn't, there was no other reason I could get around it apart from Sophie actually hates me. Can I just say something? What happens Monday to Wednesday? And I'm going to say it. I do speaking from 9am till 6pm and then come home and I'm like, don't you open your mouth for me because I want to sit and I want to watch Desperate Housewives of Peace. And you just want to yap in my ear. I want to talk to you. About nothing. Cosy. All day long. He's my friend. I don't care. I see him in the office.

13:16He's great. He's lovely. But I just want to chill. Can I tell you what happens to me? This is exactly what happens. This is how scared I am of my wife at the moment. Okay. And no, this doesn't always happen. I love her immensely all the time, but there are certain moments. This happened the other day, right? I'll give you an example. I came back to our house and I went to open the door. It's locked. So I unlock it. And I go to open the door. The bottom one is locked. The only way you unlock the bottom is from the inside. So I know Sophie's in the house. This is my reaction when I went to prison.

13:44I realized the bottom door was locked. I was like, I went, no. Because I knew I was going to have to knock on the door. Sophie was going to have to come down. Who are you looking at? Ewan, I'm looking at you for support. Yeah, but I'm over here. I'm scared of you. And I was like, I knew that you were going to be angry. I don't even remember you doing this. You did. And I was like, I don't know. So I stood outside the door, building the courage to knock on the door so you would come down and unlock it. What I am angry about is Jamie had a driving lesson in my car and it's now been in the pound for a month.

14:17And obviously there's only one person who can go pick it up from the pound. Me, because he doesn't have a driving licence. And not only that, it's£55 a day that it sits in the pound. It's been in three weeks. We didn't realise. I did realise. I kept saying where's the car, but... It's£55 a day. This moron. And it parked it obviously on some double yellow or something. No, I didn't. I parked it in the right place. I went on a driving list and I brought it back to the right. place put it in the right place it had gone sophie just kept saying to me our car's gone i can't find anywhere i thought you'd lost it i've not driven it once i've not set foot in that car i don't we're by the way because obviously i crashed my fiat or whatever happened someone crashed into it i can't remember it's in getting recovered so we've got some strange little white car we've got this odd little car that's like here and i don't know how to drive it so i've not set foot in this car okay and i don't want to go to the pound and pick it up tonight at 7 p.m so i'm not going to sophie i'm not going to you promised me i'm not going to i have radio and then i need to come home i'm not going all the way to parsons green which is an hour away from radio i won't get home till 9 p.m the girl's gotta eat sophie no we finished radio you know what you do you don't go and see reardon you go and get it from the pound with your brother who has a driving license you don't make me in my two hours of relaxation it's not two hours sophie just hear me up for a Please don't make me do it.

15:38You made a deal. Does anyone think this is a Jamie problem? I can't drive it. But you left it to get put in the pound, not me. What do you want me to do? Go there and just like stand outside? Well, yeah, with somebody who's got a driving license, not me. No, you're the only person who's insured on the car and can drive it. I'm insured to do a driving test in it. Okay, let's talk about the placenta. Yeah. What is the placenta? So the placenta is the thing that like gets, So when I eat and drink, it sieves through my food, and then it feeds the baby the good stuff and takes away the toxins. Not that this girl's having many toxins, may I add.

16:15You're having no toxins. I had a rumor that apparently you can eat the placenta once you give birth. Yeah, and I will. You're going to eat your placenta. I wonder if my sister did that. I hope she did. You're going to eat your placenta. Yes. No, you're not. Well, I'm not going to raw dog it. I'm just going to ask them to cook it up for me or something, and have it as a steak for breakfast. the next day. No, I'm going to put it in like a pill. Just explain this to me. Come on, give it to me. I could just do it in a smoothie and just neck it the next day and I think that's what I will do. I honestly don't understand.

16:43Because you know I have a smoothie every day by this brand called The Organized and this is genuinely, I have this every day and I actually want to say to anyone who is pregnant, I'm really so sure that whenever I had this I felt no nausea and I'm so sure it like really helped my pregnancy symptoms. God, what is it? It's just you're like... The Organized is like organic Beef Protein But it's got like All of it The organs It's the organs The organised Protein And I get it Made in UK And it's unbelievable So can I just say If you were part of a cult And the leader said Drink the Kool-Aid You'd be the first one Downing it What if they said It made you look good Yeah Sorry It's just Nonsense It's a proven fact It's not a proven fact Yes it is It's full of like Amazing antioxidants What does it do?

17:33Makes you feel good because if I didn't have it, I'd have nausea. And if I had that in the morning, no nausea. Felt great. It's a stayed energy. It was actually, it's been a lifesaver. So you're going to, when we have the baby, you're going to blend the placenta and eat and drink it? Yeah. With what? And you should probably have strawberries and bananas and some chocolate protein to blitz it all up. You swear to me you're going to do that? I swear to you I'm going to do that. You're going to get your placenta, I don't know how big it is, and chuck it into a blender. They're absolutely fucking enormous.

18:01My sister's was absolutely colossal. And you know what? I imagine it's looking like a big squid. Can I tell you? I think, yeah, it kind of does. I think mine might be big because as everyone keeps wanting to fucking tell me, you've got really big bumps already. So clearly I must have a big placenta because that's why my sister had a really big bump and she showed really early and her placenta was enormous, like enormous. It was like this big. Obviously, guys, as well, I'm anything but a doctor. I'm just saying what works for me. So definitely speak to a GP before you start taking organs for breakfast like I do.

18:33So will you have a taste of it too? Drinking your smoothie placenta, that feels like a step too far. I will drink milk from your teat. I will be down the end when the baby's coming out. No, you won't. 100 % I will. No, you won't. I'm not missing that for the world. I can't wait to see it crowning. That's what I'm excited. Okay, you can actually go down there because maybe it'll like slow down how much you're going to have sex. you'll probably never want to have it ever again after that. We don't have sex before. Well, exactly. We're actually just roommates. We're having a child. It's phenomenal.

19:06That's what we've become. I tell you what, the human body, the more I see and realize it, the more I'm so amazed by it. How there's a baby growing on you that is our baby, that is just like, we've connected through that. It's amazing that when we go to the scan and you can see it, it's insane. It's amazing how your breasts produce milk. That's crazy. It's amazing the size of the breast growth. I can't get over that. They're enormous. Yeah, you know the doctor said... They look like two watermelons. No, they're like udders. Do you think if we painted you black and white and you worked on all fours, you'd look like a cow?

19:44What, with just two udders and then a massive lump? Is that what they have? They have like six udders. That would be phenomenal. I could put a bucket underneath you. That's our Halloween trick. I'll go as a milkmaid. You'll be my pet cow. Can we please do that as our Halloween photo shoot? And then I could give birth, like a real-life cow giving birth to a calf, except for when it's our baby. I just can't. Imagine our Halloween photo shoot me. Oh, yeah, I'll still be pregnant then. I know, as a maid. Oh, my God, I'll be real big by then. I'm so impressed with you, honey. I know we're joking around but I don't like that impress thing because every woman listening has probably had like three kids at this point okay well it's our first and I totally get it but I am really impressed and I think you're dealing with it so well and even though your hormones are a little bit all over the place sometimes I'm just amazed at how you're going through it and dealing with it all I think it's amazing I do I think it's beautiful well it's an amazing thing it is an amazing thing the one thing I do want to know is that we haven't been to any classes yet I know what is so there's these I haven't, I really, time's getting away.

20:56Like, time is getting away. I think we're probably meant to, like, dip our toe into that area now. What are these classes? I don't even know what these are. So they're called, like, NCT classes, antenatal classes. Okay. And I'm just, I don't like the idea of them. So what, I don't understand what even they are. Well, I don't know either. I think they teach you how to hold a baby, how to birth a baby, how the dad should change your diaper, like, all of these different things, which we should definitely do. and we definitely should do like a first aid course at some point. Is this what our brother, my brother and sister-in-law did?

21:27Is it your sister and your brother-in-law? Yeah, Georgia did this. They went to an NCT class? Yeah. How many did they go to? One a week. No, they didn't. Yes, they did. No, they didn't. So did Izzy and Ed. They went to the same one. Why are we not doing that? Since when? I don't know. When are we going to start? Begin eight to ten weeks before your baby's due, Tate. Don't be silly. We've got months. Can I ask you a question, do you? when the baby arrives are you going to change its nappy at some point? I'll probably opt out of that. Why would you opt out of it? I'll be there like I said we're looking at raising the baby gay and northern so that'll be my influence but I don't think I'll be on nappy change.

22:03That's what I'm excited about. The nappy change. I'm excited about all of those things. I'm excited about the nappy change I'm excited about the night feeds I'm excited about holding the baby cuddling the baby I'm excited about all those different things. Well good that's what you should be excited about. Alright sassy pot well listen I think we've just had enough chatter at the top of things. I think that calls for... You sound very soft. Sorry. You sound like this. It's time for Listener's Messages. It's time for Listener's Messages.

22:37Hey, it's Hannah Burner from Giggly Squad and the holidays are around the corner which means I'm officially entering my hostess Hannah era with Arm & Hammer hardball cat litter. You guys know I love cats and fostering but when i'm hosting i do not want my house smelling like cats i want people focusing on my hosting skills that's why i love arm and hammer hardball cat litter it delivers long-lasting odor control and forms compact clumps that make cleanup easy so that's one less thing i need to worry about when people come over be guest ready with arm and hammer cat litter find it now at walmart or amazon this episode is sponsored by zocdoc have you been putting off a doctor's appointment or need a dentist and you don't know where to start, we've definitely been there and that's why we use ZocDoc.

23:21Actually, over the holidays, Michael had a dental emergency and seemingly every office was closed, but we hopped onto ZocDoc, found an in-network dentist, had great reviews, saw real-time appointments available, which was key. It was on New Year's Day and booked an appointment in just minutes. It took so much of the stress out of the already stressful situation. ZocDoc makes it easy to search and compare over 250 ,000 local in-network providers across more than 200 specialties. So you can find the right doctor or dentist and book instantly. Taking care of your health just got easier. Download the ZocDoc app today and book that appointment on your to-do list.

24:03That's Z-O-C-D-O-C. ZocDoc. This is the story of the one. As a shipping manager, he's running the dock, stocking supplies, and making sure every order goes out on time. And Grainger helps him stay prepared. From shipping supplies to PPE to hand tools, he counts on Grainger to keep products moving and trucks rolling. So his operation runs smoothly, no matter the shift. Call 1-800-GRAINGER, click grainger.com, or just stop by Grainger for the ones who get it done. Therapy's biggest impact doesn't show up in some dramatic breakthrough. It shows up in the smallest moments. You bite your tongue instead of escalating.

24:46You put your phone down instead of firing off that text. You say what you actually mean instead of what would hurt someone else the most. Nobody applauds those moments, but they quietly change your life. That's what growing feels like. And that's exactly what Grow Therapy is here for. Grow is therapy that works, covered by insurance. Sessions average$21 with insurance and some pay as little as$0 depending on their plan. There are no subscriptions, no long-term commitments. You just pay per session. Grow connects you with thousands of high-quality licensed therapists across the U.S. offering both virtual and in-person sessions, nights and weekends.

25:26You can search by what matters, like insurance, specialty, identity, or availability. And you can book a therapy session in minutes and begin in as little as two days, not the national 48-day average. See if you could pay as little as$0 for therapy in seconds at growtherapy.com slash ACAST. That's growtherapy.com slash ACAST. growtherapy.com slash ACAST. Availability and coverage vary by state and insurance plan.

26:03Thank you all, you lovely lot, for your lovely listeners' messages. We go through... By the way, our inbox is so full of so many messages. It's like flooded. It means you guys are really writing. No, I'm just going to keep going. I'm going to de-drive in because this lady's got a beautiful name. So this is from Carmelita. Carmelita's a great name. It's a stunning name. A few weeks back... Spanish. Carmelita. Carmelita. A few weeks back, me and my partner over five years decided to get a little bit freaky. so freaky in fact we left the door open while doing the business I remember that we often do at his parents house because there's a squeaky third step on the stairs to notify us on any peeping toms so you leave the door open just like well we'll know if anyone comes because they'll be on the third step at that point they can hear I get that little danger right have you heard the thing what teenager boys do no they feel they're going to go and have a wank and they shout mom and then try and finish before their mum arrives Have you ever done that?

26:59No, I've never done that Because that is really bizarre Mum! And then try and wank until Your mum arrives That's like a weird mummy fetish I'm not kidding, guys You need to check that out That's not a mummy fetish Because surely the thought of your mum Should stop you from being able to orgasm It's the thought of danger Around the corner Well, they should shout Something else Okay, give it to you I was in doggy When the dreaded third step went off I then bucked him off Causing some discomfort to him And Mr. Weenie Oh I fall back on top of him in what must have been a strange looking sleeping position just in time for his dad to arrive at the door.

27:34Oblivious to what had just happened, his dad stood at the door for what felt like 15 minutes asking us what we had planned for our day. Just why? Why? Why do parents come into the room when a boyfriend... I know, why do they do that? Like, it's so weird. I wouldn't go into my mum's room if she was there with her boyfriend. I would just never, never do it. Never, ever. And what would I want to talk about? But like, I would just feel uncomfortable in the space that I know that happens. I agree. The conversation ends with him offering us breakfast, a sausage sandwich. Once his father leaves, I look at my partner and say, I'm quite dry now.

28:05Oh, God. I mean, the TMI. It's TMI. We then got changed and headed downstairs to what turned out to be a lovely sandwich. Huge fan of the podcast. Love you guys. Oh, my God. This is brilliant. By the way, okay. Also, can I just caveat again? Please send in your voice notes. Funny voice notes. Send them in, please. I got everyone from Kate. I just listened to episode one of Nearly Parents and it couldn't be more spot on Me and my husband have been trying to conceive for five months And it's nothing short of a military operation every single month I have stopped telling him today's the day for ovulation Or just like Jamie, the pressure was too much It is true by the way, it becomes too much I have gone one step further than legs in the air Age is not on my side so I've bought what I can only call a cum catcher Which is essentially a rubber plug to catch the jizz and keep it in there.

28:57So as much of the sticky stuff gets to the cervix. Really gross. I've got two kids who I had when I was in my early 20s and barely needed to think about getting pregnant and it happened. This time around, it's not happening quite so easy. So the pod is definitely going to keep me positive and sane. I couldn't agree with you more. It is like I seized. I've said this before, but I seized up. And I've never had that in my life. I seized up so bad I didn't know what was going on. Thought I was broken Well alas she burnt From Hayley I love how she just shuts down the conversation just there I've just Okay so this is from Hayley guys I've just finished listening to episode one And couldn't help but laugh at Jamie's lack of knowledge It reminded me of when I first found out I was pregnant at 21 After taking a pregnancy test on my lunch break at work Obviously a complete shock As soon as I finished I went straight to my boyfriend's house in a panic We both sat in complete silence for God knows how long but eventually started talking.

29:53To this day, I have no clue how a conversation around being pregnant escalated to having sex, but it did. As my now husband was getting to the end, he pulled out in a blind panic because, in his word, he didn't want to get me more pregnant. Oh my God, sweet. I wouldn't actually know that either. Oh, that's really cute. I've never laughed so much at anyone's stupidity, but it's safe to say he's come a long way and is the best dad to our now absolute thriving eight-year-old boy. Oh, come on Congrats guys I fucking love that They've been together since they're 21 That's so cute No one has written in yet That they are Also going through a dry patch Of intercourse Update on it people Update on the sex I'm too tired You need to like You need to like Just let me be a lady of leisure then What do you think I need to do?

30:42Just like Just like Not Do anything But just rest all day For one day And I'll have enough energy in the evening to do that. Is it because you look at me and I just... I don't have a single ounce of energy by the evening. By 6pm, I'm like this. I'm not kidding. I don't physically know how I get upstairs. What about in the morning? Let's do it in the morning. No, because you're a big slob next to me sleeping while I get up early and start my day like a fresh little dinty. Why don't you do it in the middle of the day? What, in the work office? No thanks. Okay. Okay. I'm going to keep giving an update until the moment when I don't give an update is the meme that the...

31:17Perfect. I love the world knowing our sex live Okay From Nikki I've been listening since the very start of Nearly Weds And when I saw the name change to Nearly Parents I actually jumped on the spot with excitement I'm so thrilled for you both And can't wait to follow along with this next chapter Sophie, have you had any weird pregnancy dreams yet? I've heard so many bizarre ones Where mums give birth to anything but their baby My sister once dreamed she gave birth To a little Yorkshire terrier And my friend's mum had one Where she gave birth to twin goblins Can't wait for more episodes Sending loads of love Have you ever had any of them?

31:49I've had My first couple of months Like the dreams were so lucid Guys you can't imagine Like what? Everyone and anyone And then weird shit would happen Like I'd have a dream about something And they'd text me that day It was all like I was very in And I did have a dream That I had an elderflower And soda water And in it There was like Arsenic or something And I drank it And I was like That is awful It was so scary That is so scary I know Or like not arsenic What's that really strong alcohol? Absinthe Absinthe No you're thinking No No, what's pure alcohol? It's ethanol. Well, it was something like that.

32:21And I was like, why was that? And I was like, I'm pyroxyl. That is so upsetting. I know. I think that might have been my dream last night then. Okay, honey. Well, listen, I've got some ask us anything. Are you ready for this? Ask us. Ask us anything. Ask us anything. Okay. So we've had some listeners' email and DMs ask us some questions. So please do get in touch if you want to ask us anything at all. Literally nothing is off the card. So here's the first one. Have you started thinking about kids' names? Yes. We actually have our kids' names. We do. But we ain't going to say it because apparently you shouldn't say it because people will judge or comment or have anything.

32:57Or steal it. Or steal it. But it's a brilliant name. We can't wait to share it with you. Yeah. Okay, what's the best piece of pregnancy advice you've got so far? Your dad. Don't listen to anyone. My dad said the best piece of advice is don't listen to anyone's advice. Do you think, why is that a good one? Because everyone's like done Has different parenting skills Everyone's child's different Like everyone's birthing experience is different Like everyone keeps trying to tell me how to give birth And do this and do that I'm like no one can predict the future Like no one knows what's going to happen to me Like so like everyone with your two pence Fuck off I hear you Do you think you'll be strict to parents?

33:36I don't think so Particularly You don't think you'll be strict? I actually think that you will be more strict. You grew up in a very, very disciplined household, whereas I didn't. I was pretty much allowed to run free. Could you just do anything? Well, we were really well behaved, but we were not woken up at the weekend at a certain time. Were you not? No. Could you eat any food whenever you wanted? On holiday, I was allowed as many ice creams as I wanted. No, you weren't. But we didn't want them because we got that freedom. So you just had a completely liberal time. Everything was just chilled and relaxed.

34:07Well, yeah, to an extent. It was pretty liberal, yeah. Okay, who was the naughtiest out of the both of you when you were kids? 100 % me I think probably you I don't think you were that naughty I think you were scared of probably doing things I was really naughty By the way, I wasn't so liberal I was very, very like I did not want to fuck around with my dad You didn't? No I wouldn't have done something naughty in front of him Okay, that's a good thing What's the naughtiest thing you did as a kid? Give it to me Stealing that guinea pig Oh yeah Anything else? I once I got through a really weird stage When I found out what alcohol was I used to spike everyone's drinks I know it was so It's actually so weird Looking back on it Like whose drinks did you spike?

34:49My uncle's wife Came over to visit us Over the first time And she's so so petite She's like 4 foot 11 Like so tiny and petite And I spiked her with my dad's Like really strong Arabic alcohol That was like years old And I just Did she get drunk? so drunk she threw up all over my uncle's car on the way home like it was a Sunday lunch what would you do just explain this to me so you're going to get a glass I took her into where so we had Dobermans and I took her into the dog's room and I said drink drink drink yes how old were you like eight okay naughtiest thing that I did I did so many naughty things I stole keys I stole money I was just like naughty keys would be really annoying I did I stole keys and hid them in the drain no yes so no one could find their house keys No, that's horrific.

35:36It's actually horrendous. That's horrendous. In the drain? I used to be so weird. I know what you did. You would have pulled the drain up, put them in, then put the lid back down. I did exactly that. For what reason? I don't know. Just thought it would be funny to do. And so did anyone find out it was you? I remember one time as a kid. No, yeah, they found out it was me. And what happened? They said, where are the keys, Jamie? They knew I'd stolen them. And I then pointed to the drain. They were in the drain. So cute. I also remember like one time I was just in the house walking around and I needed to pee.

36:02So I just peed on the carpet like a dog. Yeah, I also did that really weird. So weird. I wonder if like now any ADHD experts would be like, that was a sign. Okay, who's more likely to cry at the birth? Me in pain. Apart from the pain? You, probably. I think me. Yeah. I can't wait. It's going to be the most exciting thing. Keep sending in those messages, team. Please, we want to hear them. We want to hear voice notes, messages, emails. Send us a DM at nearlyparentspodcast. Or you can send us an email, nearlyparents at jampoproductions.co.uk. And also, we have our WhatsApp channel. It's in our show description.

36:36Just click on the link and it'll take you to the WhatsApp and then you can WhatsApp us. WhatsApp us us. WhatsApp us us. WhatsApp us us. Okay, that's the end of... Listener's Messages.

36:50Ladies and gentlemen, big news. Very big news. We finally moved into our house. We have moved into our house. The problem is, by the time we're recording this, we're not actually in our house. I know, I just look very confused. I was like, we haven't though. We can't tell you what it's like. So by the time you're listening to this, we would have moved into our house. That's the most exciting thing that I've had. We're in the house right now. We're living in our house. It's so far away from me, even though it's so close right now, because obviously we're like, what, a week away. Yeah. It feels so far away because it still looks like a building site.

37:20And I just don't quite know. I wonder how Jack, our constructor, is feeling. He's feeling very stressed. Our project manager, Jack. Shout out Jack Kemba. He is feeling a little bit stressed. But it's looking amazing. I've been my main focus recently has been on our garden I can't tell you how obsessed I am with gardening my roses have blossomed well my roses yours haven't because they are rare and they are beautiful and they're going to be the show shopper and actually they only come out once in a blue moon you don't know they haven't blossomed at all well I know it's been strange because yours is drinking all my water that's why gobble gobble gobble no it's not yeah it is they're in the pots my ones yours are called the Sophie roses my one are called the Laying roses no yours are called like the John Hammond Laying yeah they've blossomed and they're blossoming, they look amazing.

38:03Yours are just nothing. Well, like I said, they're waiting for that moment. Nothingness. It's like that blossom tree in Notting Hill that everyone comes around to and it only blossoms one day a year. It's just the most exciting thing in the entire world. I'm so excited that we're finally in and we're going to be starting to look at nurseries and building nurseries. And I just, I can't. It makes me so excited about literally everything. It's all really, really exciting. We have a little game for you right now. Are you ready for this? I'm ready. Baby facts, true or false? Hit me. Okay. Cells from the baby stay in the mother's body for life.

38:37True. It is true. After pregnancy, fetal cells remain in the mother's body for decades. That is mad. These cells can travel to organs like the brain or heart and play a role in healing or disease resistance. Unbelievable. Okay, this one. Pregnant women develop temporary night vision to navigate in the dark. I already see in the dark. What do you mean? I can already see in the dark. You can't see in the dark. Yeah, I do. What do you mean you see in the dark? I can just walk to the loo and pitch black dark and I don't need a light and I will guide myself there with my eyes. You can't see in the dark.

39:09I can. No, honey, you can't. Because I don't stub my toe ever. That's false. No. Pregnant people can't see in the dark. Well, I have bad talent, but anyway. Pregnancy shrinks and rewires the brain. Rewires it? Mm-hmm. Damn, I think that's true, but that's worrying. Brain scans show that pregnancy causes long-term changes in grey matter, especially in areas linked to social cognition. Possibly to help mothers bond more deeply with their babies Wow, that's so special Isn't that amazing? That's unbelievable Okay, you can be pregnant with twins from two different fathers Shut up You can be pregnant with twins from two different fathers It's true No way It's a rare phenomenon called heteropaternal superfasciundation So I have sex with you And then later that day or the next day I have sex with another guy And their little sperm clings on and What?

39:59This happens when two eggs are fertilized by sperm from two different men during the same cycle. It's rare, but it's real. That is mad. I need to like hear about that more. If anyone knows of anyone that that's happened to or any stories, we need to research. If you have any stories about heteropaternal superfasundation, let us know. Okay. Babies can be born inside the aniotic sac. False. True. This is a rare event called Enkil birth, where the baby is born with an anonoptic sac still intact, looking like a water bloom. Some cultures view it as a sign of luck or mystical power. Oh, so when they come out in the sac and then you pop it.

40:40Okay, last one. The shape of the uterus can influence whether the baby will be left or right-handed. False. False. It is false, honey. Damn, she's good. I'm good. Oh my God. Okay, so how have you enjoyed today's episode? I've loved it. How have you enjoyed it? I've absolutely loved it Well we'll be back next week I've loved every little minute of it What we do though Before we leave Is we want to ask you a favour Please send in your pregnancy tips to us The pregnancy tips can be good They can be bad They can be ugly They can be anything at all But we want to hear your pregnancy tips So please let us know So what is the weirdest pregnancy tip that you've got?

41:18Okay someone told me not to drink anything too cold Because it could give my baby brain freeze Surely that can't be real Are you serious? Yeah Is that true? Kind of feels like it could be Do you drink something too cold You can give the baby brain feeds We have sounded dumb this episode This episode we have sounded We sound dumb every episode No we don't But particularly this episode We have sounded dumb I really apologise Anything at all Send it in to At Nearly Parents Podcast On our Instagram Or you can send us an email Nearlyparents At jampopproductions.co.uk And of course our WhatsApp Is just in the link In our show description If you're getting married Good luck If you're getting engaged you put a ring on it sister if you're doing a renovation do you know what just get through it because it's actually the most stressful time of your entire life if you're single and ready to mingle this summer go out and have as much fun as you can because once you're locked in that's it forever and if you're having a baby love that thing as much as you possibly can we love you guys we'll see you next week thank you goodbye goodbye

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