Rendered speechless by Cockfosters (with Miriam Margolyes)

0:00Your heart can tell you a lot about your health. Apple Watch Series 12 measures your heart rate every five seconds with the most advanced heart rate sensing in an Apple Watch. So your vitals app, now with heart rate variability, could tell you when something is off. And your readiness score can let you know when to rest and when to push. Hear the story in every heartbeat with Apple Watch Series 12. For general wellness purposes only, not intended for clinical use or to detect, diagnose, monitor or treat medical conditions. If you felt stuck trying to lose weight, you're not alone. Enter Weight Loss by HERS.

0:35It's designed to support you in reaching your goals. And HERS now offers access to an affordable range of FDA-approved GLP-1 medications, including the WeGovi pill and the WeGovi pen. Even better, with a range of affordable GLP-1 options, HERS makes it simple to find an approach that fits your needs and your budget. If eligible, you'll get a treatment plan personalized to you and unlimited dosage changes as needed. It's weight loss designed to work with your life. Ready to reach your goals? Visit 4hers.com slash eligible to get personalized, affordable care that gets you. That's F-O-R-H-E-R-S dot com slash eligible.

1:124hers.com slash eligible. Weight loss by HERS is not available in all 50 states. Wegovi is the registered trademark of Novo Nordisk AS. To get started and learn more, including important safety information, Wegovi clinical study information and restrictions. Visit ForHers.com. Therapy's biggest impact doesn't show up in some dramatic breakthrough. It shows up in the smallest moments. You bite your tongue instead of escalating. You put your phone down instead of firing off that text. You say what you actually mean instead of what would hurt someone else the most. Nobody applauds those moments, but they quietly change your life.

1:48That's what growing feels like. And that's exactly what Grow Therapy is here for. Grow is therapy that works, covered by insurance. Sessions average$21 with insurance and some pay as little as$0 depending on their plan. There are no subscriptions, no long-term commitments. You just pay per session. Grow connects you with thousands of high-quality licensed therapists across the U.S. offering both virtual and in-person sessions nights and weekends. You can search by what matters, like insurance, specialty, identity, or availability. And you can book a therapy session in minutes and begin in as little as two days, not the national 48-day average.

2:28See if you could pay as little as$0 for therapy in seconds at growtherapy.com slash ACAST. That's growtherapy.com slash ACAST. growtherapy.com slash ACAST. Availability and coverage vary by state and insurance plan.

2:57Well, hello, everybody. Welcome to Midweek. It's a Wednesday. It's incredibly misty in London, and we were all saying, isn't that lovely? It's just really nice. Eve's delighted to be back under a duvet. You had a long, sweaty summer under a sheet. I knew it's terrible. Well, you're absolutely right, Eve. It's the weight of something, isn't it, on top of you that's important. Nobody's, don't start, no, don't start snickering. I didn't. I was actually going to try and move the conversation on to weighted blankets. Okay, feel free, feel free. What do you have of you? I've always been slightly intrigued by a weighted blanket.

3:34A weighted blanket helped one of my kids who had getting to sleep problems hugely. Right, okay. It was a proper, proper problem solved by the weighted blanket. And is it particularly hot or is it simply waiting? What makes it waiting? It's strange. It felt to me like sleeping under chain mail and obviously in my previous career. What's coming? At GRR? No, as a fully paid up soldier in a 16th century battalion in France. Oh, that? I thought you'd stop talking about that. It felt like armour. It was loads and loads and loads. Well, the one that we bought was loads and loads of tiny little metal balls inside a blanket type thing.

4:24So it was really heavy, really, really heavy. And it worked to treat, Jane. Oh, that's really interesting. Well, I'm fascinated to hear that. Other stories welcome. And do you recycle them or what happens after use? Well, we've still got the weighted blanket. And nobody uses it anymore. but no, I don't feel that I'll be able to get it to the Oxfam shop. That's the issue. Everything's a struggle, isn't it? You solve one problem, you create another. I'm trying to do massive, massive clear out at the moment ahead of, you know, house move and whatever. We've heard a lot about that. I know. So I'm trying to do three bag loads of stuff every weekend.

5:05What are you including? Knick-knacks, clothes? Absolutely everything. I'm doing it one cupboard. at a time and it just gets woofed. So there are so many I think Oxfam might ban me. I think when they put up that sign saying no donations today, it's me that are doing it. You're going to have to just spread your favours. I know. Why don't you drive over west and I'll see if I can help you out. Yes, could you? Could you? Well, I'll think about it, definitely. That would be great. I think they do try to part company with regular returners at some charity shops. I have been very Be careful, though, about what I'm putting in for the Oxfam shop because I do really feel for people who are having to sort through, you know, bags of smelly clothes and all that kind of stuff.

5:48But it's quite, it's a very liberating thing, actually. And obviously, did you do this? Because you did a massive sort out when your girls... You got a skip, didn't you? I've had three skips. And now I need three more. Oh, my God. Honestly, unbelievable. because I did attempt to clear out their childhood junk when they left for uni, but now they've both come back from university, one's still living at home, and I've now got two separate lots of uni stuff in the house. And I do now know why my own mother absolutely hit the roof probably 30 years after I left home and got rid of my fantastic collection of smash hits.

6:29Yeah. But I can see why she did it. She probably took one look at this teetering pile of old magazines and thought, why have I been left with this? I get it. So I'm feeling the same way about things like, well, we've got electric blankets, kettles, those, you know, the multi-plug adapter things that people take off to uni. Oh, God, I could do with some of those. Oh, well, that's no problem. We could do a swap shop. Well, why don't we do a swap shop? I can bring some in. I tell you what does make it quite sad. Both my children are much bigger than me, so they have passed through the time at which they could use my clothes in fact they would have had to i think in my daughter's case she would have been about 11 of being able to wear my shoes and so i've got all of these uh shoes which there's no point saving them you know in case future generations might want them or whatever well do you know what that's a really interesting point you raised there because we were having a conversation earlier about the Bayer tapestry and how it has been preserved.

7:30And when you were talking about it, I was thinking, I wonder how, why did they, how were they able to look after it? Why didn't any of my silly old relatives hang on some artefacts that I could now flog and make a fortune? Or hand to George Osborne at the British Museum? Or hand to George Osborne, yes, all of that. Why do ordinary people, my family is very ordinary, why do we just chuck everything out? Should you be doing what you're doing? Or should you bear in mind your great-great-grandchildren and keep hold of a few things? Well, I think you should keep hold of a few things, but I no longer want to keep hold of a lot of things.

8:07And my mum's a great keeper of things, and I know that there will be an inevitable downsizing. She still lives independently, and she's doing remarkably well. That sounds patronising. It's not meant to be at all. She lives on her own. She doesn't know. She doesn't listen. but you know she's she's neither in sheltered housing nor as your dad is in a care home so she's she's still got a house that is full of stuff yeah and she has been very very careful about keeping a lot of things for us as you know my sister and i've left home and she moved down from scotland and all the rest of it so i feel that this kind of wave of stuff is coming towards me and i think actually that's why i've become a little bit carefree about just ditching my own because I think there's a lot coming.

8:52Not all of it I will want, but I will have to keep it because my mum has kept it. So there's a slight kind of legacy to it where I would feel guilty if she had hung on to it through three generations and, you know, I was essentially, you know, the nefarious peregrine who sells off the family estate. The nefarious peregrine, that's you. By the way, when I say things, I just mean some bits of crockery. There's no great bio-tapestry coming my way. There's all sorts of here. There really isn't. But it's funny, isn't it? I think in every family there are keepers and chakarachers. I should have mentioned actually already, my dad, it's his birthday today.

9:36Oh, happy birthday, Raimondo. He doesn't listen either, but he's 93 today. That's amazing. I have spoken to him and he's still very much with us and shares his birthday with Sir Keir Starmer. Wow. What a double act. Anyway, yes. So all the best to him and to anybody else celebrating today. It's a strange time of year to have a birthday. So it's that turn of the season, everybody getting back into their old routine. You'd have been the, would you have been the youngest in your class or possibly the oldest in your school class? What would you have been? Well, if the turning point is, you'd be the oldest, wouldn't you?

10:14I don't know. I don't know. Let us know if you are a Virgo. Yeah, because you would have been, let's say he was five years old, rising fives. Do you remember rising fives? It's hard to imagine my dad as a rising five. But I suppose at one point he will have been. You would have become a rising five way before somebody who was born in July. So you'd be the oldest in your year, wouldn't you? I mean, he was born in 33. I mean, yeah, so he was six at the start of the Second World War. I mean, it is incredible. It's a very, very long life he's lived. It's a very, very long life. I think it's a shame that he doesn't listen to this because he gets a decent name check.

10:55I think it would make him laugh. I doubt it. Come on, Ray, get on board. Get on board. Nope, can't see it happening. The Bayer Tapestry, can you explain to us why they decided to preserve it? And how, actually, how? How did they think, okay, this is actually worth hanging on to in thousands, not thousands of years, hundreds of years' time, the English would probably want it back. Oh, gosh. We must look after it. So you think that you might give it a swerve or you're curious enough to go and see it? I'm not, I'm sorry, I've not. I've seen the images. It doesn't look that great. You've seen it. I've seen it, yep, in situ in France.

11:34Well, I mean, it was meant to be the highlight of a trip to Normandy. And actually, I did ask the kids about it the other day and they tried to be very polite, but they say that actually the thing that they remembered the most was the amazing portions of chips that we had in local restaurants in Normandy where they really can do a freak. Oh, they know a chip. They do know a freak. And we remembered the beach. They remembered the beach. I mean, we did go to some of the war cemeteries there and they do remember that. The tapestry, no, they don't remember that at all. And I'm not surprised. I mean, I'm not being, I'm not trying to be, you know, kind of faux unintellectual or whatever.

12:14I don't think ignorance is bliss at all. But it didn't engage me. The sense of how important it was that it had survived definitely impressed me. But I didn't... I mean, there's a pre-epic guy there, isn't there, that everyone... You could see this little group of kids sniggering around that. It didn't leave its massive, massive mark on me. So to speak. Yes. in the way that I think Anish Kapoor has left a mark on you. Well, yes. It is weird because I thought at the time, I'm still witchering on about having seen Anish Kapoor. She's been to a gallery, everybody. She's been to a gallery. Yeah, I know.

12:52She's got the brownie badge, art done. Art done for the month. The year? Who knows? Quite possibly. Sally says, Vanta Black. This is the colour that only Anish Kapoor is allowed to use. I find that extraordinary. It's not so much a colour as a nanotech coating. Vanta stands for Vertically Aligned Nanotube Arrays, which absorbs 99.9 % of visible light. I was amazed to hear that the patent holder, Surrey Nanosystems, did indeed grant Anish Kapoor exclusive rights to use Vanta Black in his art. I find this very interesting. You're not the only one, Sally. I find it extremely interesting. Nano systems.

13:37Surrey nano systems. Well, they've done well for themselves. They must be tiny. Yeah, but having a patent on that is quite something. Yeah. I mean, presumably it's used in all kinds of different situations to absorb light and all of that. But just one person can use it for art. For art, yeah. Gives him a real advantage, doesn't it? Yeah. We've seen Vantablack. I'm just trying to think where, because we were intrigued by how dark it would be by comparison to normal black. I'd like to hear you in conversation with a local decorator, which you ask the good gentleman, I'm sensing it could be a man, if you please could have your sitting room walls in Vantablack.

14:26Would that be possible? Do you know what, somewhere in Dalston there is a house that has Vantablack. as their base colour. I bet there is. Yeah, there is too. Right, on the subject of strepsils, this one comes in from Susan, who was a sand sister in the 1990s. Now, what does that mean? She was the matron in the sand in a school. So, gosh, but you must have had some quiet days. Or weeks. I don't know, I don't think so. No, I think the sand is busy in any school, isn't it? Well, not every single, not, no. I mean, you get a few coughs and colds in mid-November onwards, I would have thought. But you've got to do the knit check.

15:04I mean, that takes forever. I suppose you might get period pains. Yeah. What else? Nasty Norro? I think there's always somebody in the circle. Okay, right. Yeah. Well, Susan can tell us, because actually I'd like to a little bit more. Dear Fee, Jane and Eve, I always wondered why I got through so many strepsils. I worked as a fan sister in the 1990s. I loved escaping from the NHS. Jess, I lived in a grace and favour flat, paid for, no utilities, and was paid for all the school holidays. It's not a bad gig, Susan. Are there any vacancies going on? But Susan, do fill us in on what happens in the sanatorium and whether or not, as my colleague here is suggesting, there are some very flat days.

15:46What are you doing in the very flat days? What did you get up to when there were no customers queuing up for your... There's always somebody who's sprained an ankle or, you know... Or just doesn't want to be there. has got a Bunsen burner burn or something like that. Yes, or, yeah, right. Kids who are just having a bit of a struggle day. In fact, there's another fantastic one about sick notes. Oh, go and find that because I'll just briefly revisit my lifelong interest in art and join Luke, who says I was a gallery assistant myself at Somerset House over one summer when I was at uni about nine years ago.

16:21It was part-time, so I never had such an exhausting stint as your correspondent who worked at the Horniman Museum. I think you'd been to the Horniman Museum, hadn't you? That's Eve I'm gesturing to. She's not speaking today for reasons. Are they private? What? Yes. Although we also weren't allowed to sit down. Do you know what? I'm surprised that you're not giggling at the Horniman Museum. No. As a woman who giggled at Cockfosters. No, no, no. I didn't giggle at Cockfosters. You said that whenever you saw a bus coming toward a night No. It was the Piccadilly Line station. Yes. The Hammersmith Piccadilly Line.

16:59We'd get on there when the children were young and if the destination was Cockfosters, neither of them could speak. And I used to think, grow up! I mean, they were nine and six at the time or something. Honestly. Okay, I take it back. Did they like to visit the Horny Man Museum? There's a road in Great Malvern. Horny old road. Oh, yes. and it goes, it's a rather beautiful road actually. I've always thought, oh, it's nice to live on there but I think, would it? I don't know. It kind of wends its way up the Malvern Hills. I think I'm right. It's in Great Malvern, yeah. Very nice town. Let's go back to Luke.

17:43I was studying music at the time and would spend the long hours at Somerset House one of two ways, playing memory games like can I list off all the American states? Gosh, I'm not sure I could actually. Or all the capital cities in Europe. I don't think I could do that either. Or else I would run ideas for my songwriting over and over again in my head for hours. If the gallery was really quiet and no one was looking, I would sometimes hum the ideas into my voice notes app. Sometimes I would come out of the shift with a nearly fully formed song idea. I've got fond memories of that summer now, although I'm not sure at the time it felt anything other than gruelling.

18:23But overall, spending long hours with nothing but artworks and displays and the people curious to see them was a privilege. Luke, I think that's a very good approach to life. I hope you have lots of success in your career, whatever that might be. Hopefully you're still writing songs because you're a glass half full gentleman from the side of things. I think those jobs are so much more stressful than you'd imagine them to be because although you might think you're kind of not doing anything, in fact, what you are doing is waiting for a moment when you might have to really be doing something. So for security guards, I always think, God, you know, there could be 60 seconds in your day where something really extraordinary happens and you've got to be across it and you're the one who's expected to deal with it.

19:11But actually, you're spending the rest of your eight-hour, nine-hour shift in a slightly kind of zombified state. Yeah. You know, when nobody's really talking to you or engaging with you properly, but you've got to be ready, haven't you? That must be incredibly stressful. You know, sometimes the last thing at night in London, you might go past an office building and it will really be late and you'll see somebody... Who's in there. Yeah, sitting there all night. On their own. Yeah. I don't know how they get through. I mean, I'd love to hear from people who've done those shifts overnight in a...

19:43It could be quite a significant office building or indeed something that doesn't look anything significant but is actually quite significant. I always hope that they have got a kind of side hustle going on where they can be busy doing something that's of interest to them whilst also supposedly guarding the space. And I only say supposedly because actually if someone's got really bad intent, one poor guy, and it quite often is a guy, is not going to be able to withstand that onslaught. That's a cheerful thought. Isn't it? Yeah. Well, look, shall we rejoin Sophie? He's got some thoughts as well.

20:17Sophie was at St Swithin's a little bit after me. I hope you've done all right in life, Sophie. And can confirm that the process of taking sick notes up to the headmistress at the end of prayers slash assembly on the first day back was still in full force. I think this is quite a quink, a kink you had going on at this establishment. It's a bit odd, isn't it? Well, I think it is odd, yeah. Just hadn't thought about it for 40 years until yesterday. my favourite memory of this was one time when I confidently handed over a note from my mother not entirely understanding what it meant my mother had written tiredness and general malaise which was met with a slightly surprised look by the head I think the modern day equivalent would be CBA which is, can't be asked got to admire my mother's honesty I suppose I often want to email in this is about the podcast and don't get round to it a few weeks ago I wanted to tell you about a time when I was on a train and there was a young couple who had their dog on the table Oh, I know.

21:14When I challenged them, they were very aggressive to me and I have to say, I didn't feel I had the support of my fellow passengers. I was honestly quite baffled. Is it just me? Well, no, Sophie, I'll be with you. A dog on the tables is wrong. A dog even on the seat is wrong. If you're going to take your dog on the train... Oh, you don't think dogs should be on seats? No, I don't think dogs should be on seats at all. No, why should they get a seat? God almighty. Well, no, not if they're old ladies like myself standing. But if it's an empty train... No, they shouldn't be on the upholstery. You know, they've been all over the place, got things on their bottoms.

21:49Oh yes, you're quite right. Isn't somebody going on Mastermind discussing TFL upholstery? Yes. I think that's... I tell you what, Mastermind is really up to its Insta game, hasn't it? Because I keep getting told what people are doing for their special subjects. Oh, is that where it's all coming from? I don't know. Well, I think so, because the other day I was fed, and I'm only recently back on the Insta, I was fed quite a lot about somebody was doing Harry Styles as their specialist topic and I think just got 475 questions right in the time and then TFL upholstery you're going to do you can't go on Celebrity Mastermind anymore haven't they been that or is it Celebrity University Challenge one of them has been axed but have you been on both no no no I've been on Celebrity University Challenge with the fantastic question about the back catalogue of Bob Dylan that we attributed to Leona Lewis.

22:44And even Jeremy Faxman couldn't believe it. Actually, I'm quite proud of you because I've been a long-term Dylan refusenik. So I should think it's hilarious that you thought it might be Leona Lewis. Who else was in your team? I don't know. You don't know. Well, to be fair, that is pretty, yeah, that rings true. Have you ever seen Celebrity University Challenge? No, there was a fantastic playwright. Oh, yes. A script writer of a Bond movie, a very well-known botanist. Stop it, just leave it. I regret bringing that up. Oh, do you? I'm glad you did. Well, no, because I was just going to say, if you were on Celebrity Mastermind, you were going to do Liverpool Football Club.

23:36Yes, and then I must admit I pulled out, what happened there? I think it was some commitment in the end I couldn't make. But I don't know why I picked that as a topic because I could easily have got that hopelessly wrong and looked and sounded a complete crap. Well, by coincidence, a very lovely producer on our show has been one of the question compilers for Celebrity Mastermind. Ben, how do you know that? Because I engage people in conversation shows. I don't just wait for them to serve me with research notes. We do chatterama. No, and he said it was really good fun because I think if you've got that kind of intellectual brain, and clearly he has, then losing yourself in a topic and trying to pick out, you know, little tricky bits that people might or might not get must be fantastic.

24:26So, I mean, quizzes these days, I mean, people just, don't they just look online? Yeah, I think they do. But the proper television ones, they've got genuine question setters. Yes. I'm quite reassured by that. Yeah, I believe so. And in fact, I think Amal Rajan was asked exactly that. He said in his conversation with George Osborne, because he appeared on George Osborne's podcast... Keep up at the back. The questions on University Challenge are the stars. Oh, right. Very different. And that they weren't generated by AI. What a modest man he is. They were written by real people. Right. Yeah, I was all very, very choked up at nine o 'clock this morning.

25:07I wasn't actually, I was in the Lido. Yes, you weren't even listening. You weren't even listening. You were relying on your late life love interest to tell you what went on and also partially me and I just shouted, Alexa off! Well, I think both you and I are entitled to have an opinion about this just because we weren't really allowed to say goodbye at the BBC. Don't stop me off on that thing. Yeah, we walked out of the building with our lanyards cancelled. I've still got loads of stuff in a locker there. Actually, that'll be the bio-tapestry, won't it, of future generations? Well, depending on what you've stored in there, I dread to think.

25:43Right. In my dream last night, says Anne, who is in Sydney. In my dream last night, I never usually remember anything. I saw on the podcast app the headline for the next episode, and it was... Fee resigned. and what a shock that must have been i've got some important news which are going to take 13 minutes no i'm not going anywhere in fact i think jane and i are about to commit ourselves to staying here a bit longer aren't we yes and after which we will be committed and so will most of our audience no uh we're i think it's okay to say we're going to be here for another couple of years we're very excited about that.

26:24We are, we are. So keep the emails coming because we're not going anywhere and we need you. Jane and Fee at times.radio who's our guest today. Our guest is Miriam Margulies. Now you have done a turn with Miriam this time around so I'm afraid. It's always like there's a rota. There is a rota. Well we both have to go into a period of rest afterwards. She is always such good value but I don't really know what you've talked about in this. Well do you know what I think you just made me think about it because you were talking about what you gleaned from our colleague ben about setting questions um she has a number of settings doesn't she and she uh and but but last week um she was on really good form and she was but she was reflective she's a bit more serious than she can be but you know what i um hugely admire about her is that she she is by her own admission she's very curious i mean some would say nosy but she properly engaged with every single person who came into her orbit when she was with us which was for about an hour and a half the other day and um she asks people about themselves and it could be that the lady doing the makeup or one of our colleagues was filming the the uh the interview whatever she just she bothers she bothers with people and the reason that she is much liked um is because of that i think actually and i think she's a very rare combination where she has the ability to do that but she is also an absolute force when she is on send mode so she can do both receive and send yes and and very few people can do both really well most most have just one setting but do you know what as well i think with miriam i think she has a very very clever acerbic mind but also a very kind heart But I do think she has been, and I know that she's been, immensely kind in her personal life to an awful lot of people.

28:22And not to make it all about me, but here we go. You've done a couple of interviews with her because she does all these stage shows as well. She sent me an email after I'd done one of the stage shows with her, which I've kept to this day. It was so kind and it was very thoughtful and it was very complimentary. and she didn't need to do that. Just nobody by comparison to her. No, come on, I'm really not. No, I know what you mean. And I just thought how amazing. She'd taken the time to find my email by asking the people who'd done the stage show and all that kind of stuff. And I just thought, I've never received a personal thank you from somebody of that stature.

28:59Well, that says a lot about her, but also let's just hear it for the thank you letter. Yes. Because to my shame, I don't send enough. I have been known to send them. but I should send it every single time I go anywhere or do something. A lot of people do and I do think it's a lovely thing to do and that reminds me, I've been reminded of a lot of things in this conversation. Sue, Sue, thank you so much for the beautiful card you sent to Hannah. It came today and it's, I mean, every word you wrote was absolutely spot on and Hannah's delighted, so thank you. And I was saying to Hannah how lovely that somebody not only had the thought, because we all have thoughts about doing nice things like sending cards to people and we just don't do it.

29:38But Sue did. Yeah. And it takes quite a lot these days to go and get the stamp and save up for the stamp. Young Eve was asking, where does one buy stamps? Really? Well, I know that you get them from the post office, but I do try to avoid the post office if I can. So I'll just ask them where else. Jane, where do you get your stamps? Look, I happen to tell you, I bitterly regret it, that I got some stamps with an Ocado delivery the other day. I wish I hadn't mentioned that now. They put it up right at the end, don't they? They flash at you. Do you want some stamps as well? It's a little flash of leg.

30:12It's stamps. But if you can get them at quite a lot of corner shops, we'll stock them. So my local cost increases, as we call it, because it is a little price. They sell books of stamps. Do you know what? There used to be very handy stamp machines, didn't there, where you could just go and get one stamp, and I rue their passing. I don't think I've ever used a stamp. Really? So there used to be one in kind of foyer areas of post offices. So when the post office was closed, you could just go in and you could just get one stamp. Yeah, it was very, very handy. A little bit like a condom machine, but don't get the two muddled up.

30:50Luke comes in with, Dear Jane and Fee, late to the party, but catching up on the podcast and when hearing you talk about names for children's toys, I was reminded of a loyal cuddly toy I had as a young boy. Living in a cul-de-sac as a child, I'd throw all of my cuddly toys out of my bedroom window onto the street below and arrange them into a congregation with an aisle down the middle. After meticulously placing the parishioners, I would don my mother's wedding dress, parade down the aisle and get married to a big blue cuddly toy dog I'd run at a fairground hooker duck. With the minister being a toy vacuum cleaner, the one with all of the colourful balls that would spin around when in use.

31:25For reference, I've enclosed a photo of another favourite dress of mine. However, sadly, not the wedding dress in question. You look absolutely lovely, Luke. Despite the flair and pomp of my very own public marriage ceremony, the grooming question was rather unimaginatively named Big Blue Dog and the minister, Mr Hoover. It may not come as a surprise to you or your listeners that, yes, I am gay. And yes, my family did know before I did. Loving the podcast is always adding myself to the list of morning listeners. Welcome to the morning register, Luke, as I travel to my early morning nursing shifts for a laugh and some gusto.

31:59this was such a joyful email to receive it really was yeah you do you look terrific in the dress you've got a boater on as well and i bet that that was a joyful joyful ceremony every time every time it happened dressing up i should it's a shame that sort of pass it's a bit like skipping and holding hands with your mom and dad you just there comes a time where you don't really put on clothes and pretend to get married. Darling, you are now offending an enormous cosplay community. Oh yes, of course. There's all that going on. I think it goes on well into adult life for many, many people. Okay. Yes, alright.

32:39And if you could choose an area of cosplay, what would you choose? Would you be a wench? Yes, I think I probably would be. I think I would get, I'd do a bit of steampunk type bodice Yes, that's me. Very much so. Have I made it clear? Yes, very clear. What would you dress up as? I think I probably would try for a superhero. I think tights and a cape. I'm going to move on to Judith, who's very behind. I mean, you really are. Come on, Judith. Do better now. Put your foot on the pedal a little bit as we head towards Christmas. I've just listened to the interview with Groove Armada. I mean... You missed Groove Armada?

33:19No, I didn't. Were you here? Yes. Sorry, I just imagine you've been away a lot. I mentioned recently that I was off to volunteer at Sidmouth Folk Festival. How lovely. Whilst folk music may be traditionally thought of as a couple of old blokes with beards and violins, the reality is a lot more lively. Can you imagine? I can. Yeah. I've won too much. Sorry. And often quite loud. One of the venues at Sidmouth is known for being particularly loud and features the rockier bands. for an example search talisk on youtube don't know them and it was at a talisk gig where another volunteer and i were taken aback by the number of very young children in the tent with no hearing defenders on there were even a couple of prams suggesting that very young infants were there the hearing problem won't go away anytime soon earlier in the week we also had lindersfarn playing and all their sound crew have gone deaf over the years so have to be reminded to turn everything down i've just been invited for a free hearing test so i'm seriously considering taking up the offer you should much love from judith yes you should judith yeah there's some there's some pretty firm evidence isn't there that if you catch hearing loss early on you save yourself an awful lot of other possibilities because i think that there are links aren't there between hearing loss and uh elements of dementia i think it's just it just makes socializing so much harder if you just and I do find myself in it I know we've talked about it but just if you're in a low-ceilinged environment it's hopeless I honestly haven't got a clue what anyone's saying you have to resort to that multi-purpose facial expression it's very difficult isn't it trust will do the business I've found myself agreeing with people I mean I dread to think what I've agreed with at any kind of drinks party over the last five years I mean just heaven help me final one from me because I know that now we've teased the audience with Miriam.

35:19They will probably want to just hear from Miriam. But this is such a fantastic email. It goes back to a conversation that we started a couple of weeks ago about hair loss. This comes in from Julie who says, I've had alopecia since I was 14. I'm now 42. I lost most of my hair within a couple of weeks. I was really lucky that my parents and friends were incredibly supportive and that my parents were willing to forego things so that I could have nice wigs. the NHS ones at the time were awful. At that time, social media didn't exist and we had very little information on the condition or any way of finding others with it.

35:55I got on with it, but I won't pretend it was easy to be a teenager with patchy hair loss. And Julie goes on to say, when I was in my late 20s, I discovered Alopecia UK, a charity set up to support those with all types of alopecia. I met loads of people with the condition and the charity now has a huge Facebook group. I ended up setting up a local support group, went on their annual Alton Taz trip and to the annual Big Weekend. And everybody I met had a completely different experience of alopecia. The time it started, how they felt about it, whether they wanted to try treatment or not and whether they told people in their life they had it or didn't.

36:33There is no one solution fits all. I also worked with Changing Faces for a while. They're a fantastic charity, aren't they? who campaign around all types of visible difference. And I'm sorry to sub your email down, Julie. I'm only doing that for the purposes of time. But I do want to mention this bit that you tell us at the end. I don't wear hair when it's hot. It's a wig when it's in the box, but it's hair once it's mine. Or for yoga or swimming. But I do have a wide range of wigs, all lengths, colours and styles. I actually miss my eyelashes more than my hair. They're very practical for keeping dirt out.

37:08and my eyebrows I look a little bit featureless without. I have had microblading done at times, but it's very expensive and the popular eyelash extensions aren't an option because you have to have some eyelashes for them to stick to. Finally, I'm sure you will appreciate me disclosing that yes, I am patchy all over and I really object to having to pay full price for a bikini wax when I only need half a job doing. Now, Julie, I really love that detail and we are grateful to you for revealing that. I don't know whether you would agree with this and just get back in touch if you don't, but sometimes I think our curiosity is slightly pushed back, isn't it, when we want to ask questions about things like alopecia, but we're so fearful that it would be insulting to do so.

37:58But does it actually help if we do ask all of those questions So it just becomes less of a you're over there, I'm over here. I hope that you telling us that means that absolutely it's really fine to just let your curiosity run a little bit rampant and say those things out loud. We had loads of emails about hair loss and everybody's saying the same thing. It's just such a common experience. It's way more common than we would think in women. because women have had to go to such extreme lengths to cover it up. Because the reaction, I mean, it's just different, Jane. A balding man is different to a balding woman.

38:42That's just a fact, isn't it? And I think that's a really interesting email. And I'd look for, honestly, we do welcome more thoughts on this. And whether or not the rest of us are okay to ask what might be interpreted as daft or insensitive questions. Anyway, you can let us know. I just need to say we talked about nipple cream yesterday and anonymous has emailed to say greetings from the middle of the night newborn trenches you often keep me company and it feels like a warm hug through my speaker particularly over the last couple of weeks as I attempt to nurse my newborn unfortunately my baby had a tongue tie although it has now been treated in the few days before it was treated the baby piranha managed to inflict toe curling and a toe curling amount of damage to my nipples which still requires me to bite on a muslin to be able to push through the pain and carry on breastfeeding.

39:34Oh, right, we hear you. Nipple cream is one of the only bits of kit in the book to try and aid the agony and help heal while navigating a baby adamant on clusterfuck feeding. Please don't say it's not needed. Right, I'm sure it's me that said that so I absolutely apologise. No, I don't think it was actually. No, I think it was me who said don't, you know, don't kind of... Let's both apologise. No, but it's a really good point to make. I think what I was trying to say was you may actually have something in your bathroom cabinet already. That would do the job. That is exactly the same ingredient as what's in nipple cream.

40:06But some companies are definitely trying to make you pay extra because they call it a very specific thing. So a lot of nipple, and I looked it up this morning because I felt really bad about that. A lot of nipple creams are just Vaseline based or they're lanolin based or they're sheer butter based. and actually one of the recommendations was you can do just as well by using coconut oil and I did use coconut oil for one of my babies. I didn't end up in such a serious condition as you but I had really, really painful feeding sessions and apart from anything else, babies love it. I mean, you know, they really, really...

40:47If you've got a baby who's slightly struggling to latch on, I would imagine that a little bit of the you know the breezy taste of coconut can only be an added incentive so you know just just look in your bathroom cabinet first don't get don't get taken for a ride by people well that is that's the danger now because we know there's so much of this alleged wellness stuff being hurled at us and it's not cheap any of it and I think probably AFE's right there. They'll just add a charge a premium for something that you've already got or a version of it you've already got. She does say, identifying and getting help for tongue-tie is a bugbear of mine but perhaps I'll save that rant for another day or more likely another long lonely night when I can string a few more well-reasoned sentences together.

41:35In the meantime thank you for sitting with me and thoughts and solidarity to all the others who are listening in the middle of the night. Anonymous that's a very sweet and very thoughtful and heartfelt email for all for a multitude of reasons and um i know i know this period of your life is really tough it it's it's not helpful to say it will get easier except know that it will well it just won't be forever no it'll stay being hard for when it's hard but it won't be forever no and you're doing such a wonderful job you're doing such a wonderful job so i hope you've got some people who are telling you that jane and i are telling you that now too and we're worth a lot more than most ordinary people a great deal more because uh i'm just trying to think of a reason what um because no i can't i can't think of a reason your heart can tell you a lot about your health apple watch series 12 measures your heart rate every five seconds with the most advanced heart rate sensing in an apple watch so your vitals app now with heart rate variability could tell you when something is off and your readiness score can let you know when to rest and when to push.

42:41Hear the story in every heartbeat with Apple Watch Series 12. For general wellness purposes only, not intended for clinical use or to detect, diagnose, monitor, or treat medical conditions, requires iPhone 11 or later. If you felt stuck trying to lose weight, you're not alone. Enter Weight Loss by HERS. It's designed to support you in reaching your goals. And HERS now offers access to an affordable range of FDA-approved GLP-1 medications, including the WeGovi pill and the WeGovi pen. Even better, with a range of affordable GLP-1 options, HERS makes it simple to find an approach that fits your needs and your budget.

43:15If eligible, you'll get a treatment plan personalized to you and unlimited dosage changes as needed. It's weight loss designed to work with your life. Ready to reach your goals? Visit 4hers.com slash eligible to get personalized, affordable care that gets you. That's F-O-R-H-E-R-S dot com slash eligible. 4hers.com slash eligible. Weight loss by HERS is not available in all 50 states. WeGovi is the registered trademark of Novo Nordisk AS. To get started and learn more, including important safety information, WeGovi clinical study information, and restrictions, visit ForHERS.com. Therapy's biggest impact doesn't show up in some dramatic breakthrough.

43:56It shows up in the smallest moments. You bite your tongue instead of escalating. You put your phone down instead of firing off that text. You say what you actually mean instead of what would hurt someone else the most. Nobody applauds those moments, but they quietly change your life. That's what growing feels like. And that's exactly what Grow Therapy is here for. Grow is therapy that works, covered by insurance. Sessions average$21 with insurance and some pay as little as$0 depending on their plan. There are no subscriptions, no long-term commitments. You just pay per session. Grow connects you with thousands of high-quality, licensed therapists across the U.S., offering both virtual and in-person sessions, nights and weekends.

44:40You can search by what matters, like insurance, specialty, identity, or availability. And you can book a therapy session in minutes and begin in as little as two days, not the national 48-day average. See if you could pay as little as$0 for therapy in seconds at growtherapy.com slash ACAST. That's growtherapy.com slash ACAST. growtherapy.com slash ACAST. Availability and coverage vary by state and insurance plan.

45:13Let's get to Miriam Margulies, who's written a new book. Now her others have all been bestsellers. No pressure, Miriam. Her autobiography, This Much Is True, was in the top 10 bestseller charts for a year. and Full English, which is out tomorrow, is about identity and belonging. Miriam, you'll not be surprised to hear, has some thoughts about the way this country is going. This book does have its funny moments, but Miriam is in a quite reflective mood. I wanted it to be different a bit. Yeah. In what way different? A bit more serious, because I know my reputation couldn't be lower. Not with me.

45:51Well, that's kind of you, Jane, but I wanted it to show me in the round, not just being silly and a bit roly-poly, but thinking, a thinking roly-poly, if you like. OK, well, I think we do find Miriam in a more thoughtful mode. I think you're absolutely right. And I think it's fair to say you probably don't envy the young, do you? oh you're wrong there oh am i well it's not for the first no i i do envy the young i don't i'm not happy about nearly being over i want to go on but i don't want to go on being crippled which is what i am and fat i think if i do it again if we're given a chance which we're not because i believe in all that crap but if I were able to I would be better and I would be thinner and I would be taller yeah I just make sure I was taller okay what what I mean I'm quite short myself and what is the height you'd have gone for I would have liked to have been five four yes because it's a distant dream for me too yeah it's not impossible I could have been five fours Something could have been done.

47:14Yeah. But I am actually four foot 11. I may even only be four foot 10, to tell you the truth. And it's hardly worth coming, is it?

47:27I'm glad you've come today. And I am too. When I said you didn't envy the young, it was because in the book you say your heart, and I've written this down, is heavy with foreboding. Now, why? Why is that? That's about politics. And I think that we've fallen into a bad era of politicians. I don't think they're good enough. They were better when we were younger, certainly when I was younger. I can't believe I'm 85. I didn't think I'd live that long. But I have. And I remember a better time, a more optimistic time. I think, for example, the fact that people at university have a debt when they leave it.

48:12I can't believe that. It wasn't like that when I went to university. And it's wrong. It's not fair that young people should have a debt. No. And it's not just that, is it? It's the fact that it's so tough at the moment for graduates to get a job at all. At all, yes. We knew when we left university, I knew I was going to get a job. I didn't know what it would be, but I knew I would get a job eventually. It never occurred to me that I would spend years out of work. And I feel sorry for the young in that regard because the old have failed them. You do think that, well, I think this is right, that Andy Burnham, our current prime minister, as we speak, is an improvement on Keir Starmer?

49:02Yes, I do, because I think that he's easier to understand, easier to get to know, easier to believe. Keir Starmer, who I think was a decent chap, I never met him, I don't know him, so it's hard to say, but he seemed to make the wrong decisions. He seemed out of touch and not sure that he wanted to be in touch. Well, you actually just say he was really boring. I did say that. That she was more about him. And he was. Yeah. And that's awful. I mean, saying that about a person, it's different if you say it on the radio somehow. I think it's all right to say it in a book, but I feel a bit, because I wouldn't say it to his face.

49:48No. I wouldn't say you're boring. I might think it, and he could say, well, you're fat and rude. And both of those are true. Yes. Well, where would you be if you hadn't been a bit rude over the years? But I want to be serious about what you say in this book, because this is not just a funny book. I think it's important that we acknowledge that. And you are interesting on the subject of national identity. And I want to know how you see yourself, because what I didn't know about you is I knew your dad was a Scot. I didn't know that your mum was actually a Scouser, although I know she left Liverpool quite young.

50:23And you yourself, we know you're Jewish, but you are also, are you English? Are you British? How do you think of yourself? Well, what do you think I am? I mean, that's the thing. How do I interpret the fact that you don't know what I am? Well, I would say no, I would say you were English. I am. I'm English. I was born in Oxford. Yeah, doesn't get any more English. Exactly. That's why I sound posh. And I do sound posh. And I quite like my vowels. I think my vowels are worth listening to. and I think they're better than Starmer's vowels, for instance. I think you've made more money from your vowels than he has from his, I think.

51:09Yes. I've made more money speaking, and he's made more money talking. I think that's probably debatable, Miriam. Do you? Yes, I do. But anyway. Well, he's a lawyer. Yes. No, he was a lawyer. He was a lawyer. Actually, one of the things I really admire about you, there are many, is that you're very upfront about money and earning money and how important it is to earn money. I love it. I love money. I hope I can go on earning for a long time. But I'm honest. I pay my taxes. I don't cheat people. I'm not interested in tearing down old buildings in order to build horrible new ones. People have got to live somewhere, that I know.

51:51But we should have nice things to look at. Everywhere is visual vandalism, especially around here. I mean, some of these offices, yes, it's ghastly. Yeah. Can we go back to national identity? Because this is a time where the flag, the flag of St George, for example, we see quite a lot of it. We didn't used to, but it's popping up quite a lot. And sometimes I think in situations that you probably wouldn't approve of. What would you say about that? I think it's been taken over by the fascists. You know, I think that the man I call the odious niggle. We don't need to mention his name, but most people will know who I mean.

52:33Some people obviously need to put their faith in him. They have been so let down by the other politicians. You yourself acknowledge that they haven't all been brilliant lately. So is it any surprise that some people feel the need to turn to parties like Reform? I think it's surprising when you get to know the background of the man and analyse him a bit more carefully than perhaps most people do I just like people who tell the truth For me the truth is a necessity I won't bargain with the truth and it's not really even my truth Facts are facts I go by those and he's not somebody that I can put my trust in.

53:23And I think that he pretends to be something he's not. But do you acknowledge that he is a good communicator? Oh, absolutely. But a communicator has got to be telling the truth. A good communicator tells the truth. You see, he does, this is Nigel Farage we're talking about in case anybody is in any way confused. He dresses the part of, not my kind of sartorial choices, but I can understand why he makes them, the old blazer and sometimes he wears pink trousers. And people, tweedy jackets when he feels appropriate. Does none of that appeal to you? I don't mind the clothes. That's his business and I'm not a snappy dresser at all.

54:09But I mind what he says. I mind what he does. I mind the contempt that he obviously feels for the people in the constituency that he represents. I think he has contempt because he's never there. So that to me is not a serious person. I know that he isn't here, but if he were here, I'm sure he would say he is there as often as is appropriate. And Miriam, he stood again and And he won again in that by-election. And of course, I don't agree with everything. You can't agree with everything anybody says, can you? But I think I like to hear an opinion that I might not agree with because it challenges my own perceptions of the world.

54:52And sometimes we all need that, don't we? We can't all just live in an echo chamber where everybody thinks the same as I do about everything. It would be agreeable to me. No, we can't. And I will allow people not to think the same as I do. I can't understand it, but I will allow it. I'm motivated by humanitarian feelings, I think. I'm not a great thinker. I'm not very bright. I love to help people. I want people to have a good time. That's why I make people laugh. But I feel anxious about people who are poor. I do. I feel I really care about that. I'm not going to give them my money. I'm not enormously generous like that.

55:42But I do give a large proportion of my income to charity because I think I should. I think it's the right thing to do. So you've said you do give generously to charity. Yes. So you are giving money to people without much of a say. You are. Yes, I think that's important. I think it's if you have a lot and I have a lot. I made a lot of money. And I don't need all of it because it's just me and my partner. So I think we should be generous. And I don't want to blame the poorest people. And do you think that in your book, you talk a lot about Britain and, of course, the various different parts of Britain, which sometimes don't agree with each other, which always seems to me to be slightly ridiculously parochial.

56:32The Geordies don't like people from Sunderland and people in Liverpool don't get on with Manchester. I mean, the whole thing, it is crazy, isn't it, really? Well, it is. Well, famous punch cartoon, which was, I think, 1874. People sitting, chatting. And the guy goes by and Manon says to the other man, who's he? And he says, a stranger. And so he said, oh, eve off a brick at him. And that's the English for you. We don't like somebody who comes from somewhere else. Well, tough. Tough. We've got to start liking them. We've got to start accepting people. You presumably can do a range of British accents, can you?

57:18I mean, you must have had to. Yes, I've done a few. I mean, Scottish is obviously easy for me. Because of your dad. Because of daddy, yeah. Could you do us a little... Was he Glasgow or Edinburgh? Oh, he was Glasgow, dear. He was not only Glasgow, he was the Gormals. and I'm trying to do a Goebbels accent but people say that I'm too posh even like now when I'm talking like this. I think maybe there's a hint of Morningside in Edinburgh there, isn't there? No. I don't have anything to do with Edinburgh from vocally. I mean, it's great. I love Edinburgh. What a great city. But no, I'm totally Glasgow.

57:55Now, that's what I love. And not only Glasgow, but Southside Glasgow. So there's a bit of a whine in it like that. The fact that your mum was a scouser, I don't think I've ever heard you do a Liverpool accent. It's very hard to do Liverpool. Well, I can teach you. Are you Liverpool? Yeah. Go on then. All right. All right. Not bad. Not bad. You've almost got it. No, I've got to try. I've got to try. I think, you know, when I think of Liverpool, obviously I think of, you know, the Beatles and the way they talk like that. Slightly flat. flat and a bit slow no we're not slow no i don't mean they're mentally slow but they talk slow like that you see you've got it that's actually really good um well i'm an actress i should yes no i've forgotten you're an actress there i should have but you did you had elocution lessons didn't you i did now i think your teacher is miss very plowman that's right i did write that down got red rest her dear soul and i think elocution lessons have they've gone off they're out of fashion a bit, aren't they?

59:00But did she really help you? She helped me to speak clearly and to give vowels the full benefit and consonants the snap and crackle that consonants need. And what I always say is the vowels carry the emotion and the consonants carry the sense. And if you think about it, it's true. And that's why the end of a sentence and the end of a word is crucial. And a lot of even broadcasters and presenters, what they do is they start off very strongly. And then as they get near the end, they forget. I mean, it goes off. It fades. Yeah, it fades. I don't fade. And people who communicate don't fade. You've got to keep going to the end.

59:53Right. Do you, and this is a stupid question, do you practice? Do you use your voice when you're on your own just to make sure you've still got it? No, not to make sure I still got it. I sometimes, I talk to myself because it amuses me. Right. And sometimes, you know, I really like doing voices like that, you know, because I've known a few people like that and I like to put on that voice sometimes. when I'm talking, you know. Just to yourself? Yeah, to myself. Because I don't want people to think I'm making fun of them because a lot of people talk like that and it's absolutely serious. And I'm serious, but I think it's friendly.

1:00:37That is friendly. Is there a British accent you don't like? What's your least favourite? No, there isn't one I don't like. It amuses me to do very upper-class sounds because I don't think Mummy wanted me to sound... You know, like that, because it makes... I always say when I do that voice, it's as if people were crying. They're not crying. They're just squeezing it through slightly flattened epiglottis. But there's something about it that makes me laugh very much. You have made me cry with laughter when you impersonated a very lovely lady. I know that she was a lovely lady who collected you when you were going to be a guest of the King.

1:01:24I think it was at Sandringham and somebody was dispatched to pick you up from the railway station. And she was absolutely... She was a lovely person, actually, Valerie Pitts. Right. Who married the conductor. Oh, right, yes. The Covent Garden conductor. Yeah, yeah. Sir George... Oh, yes, Schulte. Schulte, Schulte. And she was like that and she said, I'm so hesitant. And I didn't understand one word from the station at Kings Lynn to Sandringham. But I knew her heart was good. Yes. And you can tell that, actually, can't you? Yes. Somebody delivers. Yes. Speaking of regal matters, do you have a view on Harry and Meghan returning to the UK?

1:02:12No, I don't. And I think it's cheeky to have a view of people that you know nothing about. Oh, Miriam, that's never stopped cheeky. No, I'm sorry. I defend my position because I talk about people I know or I know something about. I know nothing about them. I don't know anything about him. I've never met him. I know his family and I like his family. I love his father. But I don't know anything about Prince William and Kate, Catherine. I don't know anything about them, so I won't give an opinion. When I know people, I'll give an opinion. And I love the king and I love Queen Camilla. So do you think that the king, I mean, Harry is his son, that he'll be glad he's back?

1:03:03I don't know because all I know is what I read in the papers. Well, OK, let me put, I mean, you're being... I mean, what do you think? What do you think about it? There is a family, two members of it are terribly ill or have been terribly ill with cancer, which is an affliction I wouldn't wish on anybody. The son decides to marry somebody that comes from another world and he goes off back with her. I mean, there's a division in the family and I don't want to make things worse because I love the dad and stepmom or whatever they call the queen. I feel fond of them and I don't want to make things worse and I don't know anything.

1:03:48So I think it's not sensible to ask me for an opinion. No, no, I absolutely... If I may say so. No, no, look, you can say what you like. One of the things I didn't agree with in the book, because I do take issue with some of your opinions. Good. Yorkshire pudding. You really are a guest. I mean, I don't understand this. You say Yorkshire pudding. It takes up... A waste of space. Well, it takes up the whole of your plate and gives you nothing. Well, I don't like Yorkshire pudding. I don't enjoy it. I love my food. But you get this great mound of crust. And it's brown and it promises something. It's golden brown.

1:04:24Golden brown. Lovely. And it kind of smiles at you as it comes towards you on the plate. And you think, I'm going to have fun with this. Nothing. Nothing. I know what you mean. But in isolation, it's a grim prospect, Yorkshire pudding. But combined with gravy, horseradish, oh, I think it's a taste sensation. I love horseradish. Yes, it's very underrated, I think. I love horseradish. But I'm sorry, I can't lie about Yorkshire pudding either. No, you haven't. It's just not spoken to me. There is a little bit of flatulence in the book, inevitably, as we are dealing with you. Talking of wind, my goodness, when you come out of the taxi this morning, my goodness.

1:05:06I'm blue in here. Yes, that's because of the really weird wind tunnel outside this building. It is. No, honestly, even on a brutal, hot summer's day, that wind tunnel was still in operation. Actually, I must ask you, how have you coped with the heat? Not terribly well. I have fans and I put the fans on. I've got two on each side of my bed and I turn them on. That, for me, is... I don't like aircon. Why not? I can't control it. It just blows, and it blows usually from where it's at down to me, and I want to be able to control it where I want it. On a really hot night, you should just have come and slept outside this building.

1:05:48You'd have been absolutely fine. That's what you would be freezing. Along with all the other poor souls. Yes, that's true, and that's not funny. You do say in this book that there was a troop of professional... I had to write this down because I couldn't believe it. A troop of professional farters, you allege, really were hired to perform for the High King of Ireland. Apparently. Where did you get that from? Oh, I probably got it from Wikipedia or something. Right, okay, yes. Because I do believe in Wikipedia and I donate to Wikipedia. You've established your connections, yeah. I deserve some respect for that.

1:06:26Oh, you deserve respect for a multitude of reasons. Actually, that's interesting. So in terms of modern tech and relatively new organizations, Wikipedia is something you do put your faith in. Yes, I do. Yeah. I do. What about Apple, Meta, Instagram? I don't like them. You don't? I'm on it. I'm on Facebook and I'm on the Instagram because I was told that that's how you make your product known. And this is the problem that you and many other people, including me, we do face that if we are going to be in modern media and try to communicate, it's all very well being snooty about these organisations and these platforms.

1:07:08But we do have to use them. Yes, I think you do. I think you do have to use them. And I want to make money. And you make money through Instagram. I've got merch. I've got merchandise. You know, I've got T-shirts and mugs and things that I sell at my venues. Now, I don't charge 75 quid like Oasis did. I charge, I think 20 quid I charge, but it's 100 % cotton. I only have the best stuff. I won't muck about. I don't cheat the public. You didn't go to the Oasis gigs, did you? No. I'm a bit of a snob about music. Oh, so not popular? I'm not a popular music person. I love Janis Joplin. She was for me.

1:08:01And I love Dusty Springfield because she was gay and gorgeous. And I liked her music. But if you played me Taylor Swift and I bear her no ill will, I just wouldn't recognise it. I don't listen to that. But if you played me Cecilia Bartoli singing Vivaldi, whoa, that is something. Right. That I love. Yes, I'll take that. I wanted to end actually on just a reflection. Are we over? Oh, I've mucked about. No, no, it's only because I just looked at my watch in a very unprofessional way and realised that your car was coming very soon. Just to end on a slightly reflective note, because I know you are concerned about the young and about how life looks for them.

1:08:46I want Britain to be better. Yes. We're not good enough at the moment. And we were better when I was young. And the young deserve better. Now, I don't have children. I've never wanted children. Had my womb out when I was 34, I think. So if I had a child now, it'd be a bloody miracle, wouldn't it? But I don't want children. I want children to be happier, have a better chance than any of the politicians seem to be giving them. But honestly, if you look around the world, where is better than Britain? Nowhere. There isn't anywhere that's better. It's all a pile of poop. That's the trouble. The world has gone sour and we've got to try to make it better.

1:09:31We can do it. We can do it if we're kind. And that's my last message. And that's the end of my book. Be kind. Who else but Miriam Margulies? And it's not a bad thought, is it really? We should all just try to be a bit kinder than perhaps some of us have been. Let's work on it. Miriam, her book is out now. It's called Miriam's Full English. And I think it's going to be in many a... No, I'm not going to say it. Christmas stocking? God. Oh, my God. You said it. No, we can't mention that until we get past the Halloween. No, actually, you're right. Who's our guest tomorrow? Our guest tomorrow is the TV critic and writer Scott Bryan.

1:10:14And he has written a book called Out Now. And it's about watching television as a young queer man. And it's really fascinating. And actually, do you know what it made me think, Jane? So he talks a lot about Section 28 because he was in school when Section 28 was in place. So he wasn't taught that it's completely normal to be gay. And actually, I think we should have asked Ian Dale more about that yesterday. In fairness, well, of course, Ian Dale, I say, of course, Ian Dale is gay himself. And he does mention that in the book. Well, he does, actually, yeah. And you're right, we should have mentioned it.

1:10:55We were juggling yesterday because Andy Burnham was on the television. But I did think, actually, it's such an important part of Thatcher's legacy. I mean, Section 28, and I'll talk about this with Scott tomorrow. if you grew up and you weren't you didn't see anything in your school that confirmed that you were fine how awful that is i mean you can't go back and relive your childhood again and section 28 was just dreadful it was a dreadful dreadful thing to have been imposed so yes we should have talked about it more i'm just saying mayor corpora here yes okay well we've both done a couple of apologies i'm telling you we've thrown a few thrown everything at you right uh and we're back tomorrow.

1:11:39Please be a part of this. Jane and Fee at Times.Radio

1:11:59Congratulations. You've staggered somehow to the end of another Off Air with Jane and Fee. Thank you. If you'd like to hear us do this live, and we do do it live, every day, Monday to Thursday, 2 till 4 on Times Radio. The jeopardy is off the scale. And if you listen to this, you'll understand exactly why that's the case. So you can get the radio online on DAB or on the free Times Radio app. Off Air is produced by Eve Salisbury and the executive producer is Rosie Cutler.

1:13:06Apple Watch Series 12 For general wellness purposes only. Not intended for clinical use or to detect, diagnose, monitor or treat medical conditions. Requires iPhone 11 or later. Listen to this A-Cast show ad-free on Amazon Music with your Prime membership. Or subscribe wherever you get your podcasts.