Lisa Rinna

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0:43So instead of juggling a dozen apps and spreadsheets, you can actually enjoy getting married. Get started at thenot.com slash audio. The Knot. Let's plan your wedding together. Life was never the same. That show was never the same when that happened. It changed everything. Lisa Rina, welcome to One Night Stand. Thank you. We're so thrilled to have you here. Thanks, I'm happy to be here. We're going to talk about some of your favorite books as well as your incredible new memoir. You better believe I'm going to talk about it. Have you always been a big reader? You know, I'm not a huge reader. Interesting.

1:16I wish I was a better reader. My husband is a voracious reader. Yeah. And I just think you're either born with it or you're not. Yeah, I agree. And I liked to read more in my teens and 20s. I think what happened for me is once I became a mother, I couldn't sit down and read a book because there's no time for 20 years. Yeah, that's so true. Like literally. So I do listen to a lot of books on tape now. Because also my eyesight is not as great as it used to be. And so I find listening to books is more enjoyable. Yeah, I get that. What was teenage Lisa reading? what was teenage Lisa reading? Oh, you know what I loved?

2:01First of all, Nancy Drew books were my, that changed my life. Those books literally, because I grew up in Medford, Oregon, that was like going on a journey. And I love those books. Those were my favorite books of all time. Yeah, that is, that's major. I think the books you read as a kid are truly the ones that you sort of like always remember. Those were the ones I had every single Nancy Drew book. And And those were by far my favorite. Did you try and get your daughters into reading them? I think I did at the time. And they were like, no. I know. You can't force it with kids, though. I see it with my sister's kids.

2:37We try, but they're just like. No. You know, my husband, this is really cute. You know, when the kids are little, you read to them. He started to tell them stories. And he made up these Sam stories. So he created a whole world for them. and they loved going to bed. That was another real, like it was such a smart thing because he would tell Sam stories. And Sam would go on all these adventures for like a couple of years. I mean, you need to get him a book deal. I know, he should really do that. He should do a children's book. People love that. He should, and he taped them. Oh, sweet. So we have them recorded.

3:13So like, let's say he had to go out of town. I would play them because they didn't want me. At that point, they were like, we don't want you to read me a book. We want a Sam story. So for a while there, I would come up with a Sam story. And then he started to tape them. And I would just play them. Oh, my God. I love that. Isn't that cute? Yeah, I love that. Also, just like delegating it. I love it. Get the helpers. We've got to find those. I want to find them and listen to them. Yeah, you really do. Get them. I mean, people will play them. Yeah. It's a good idea. It is a good idea. And excited for that.

3:43OK, well, let's get into some of your favorite books. So we can start with The Road Less Traveled by Scott Peck. Tell me about your love of that book. Well, that was probably, I read that maybe when I was early 20s. And that was the first kind of spiritual self-help type of a journey I ever was on. And ever opened a book that was like that. And it changed my life. Wow. It like opened that whole, you know, door up in my brain. Yeah. Is that when you were still living in like San Francisco? I was. Yeah, I was like moving from San Francisco to L.A. Yeah. That I read that book. Wow. And it was very life changing.

4:24What specifically about it do you think really like helped you change at that moment? I can barely remember the book at this point. I just know that it was life altering for me. It was just a different way to look at life. Yeah. With that book, it talks about how everyone has sort of different maps of reality and that you sometimes have to. it takes time for your brain to catch on to a new reality. Have you found that with Leaving Housewives? Has it sort of changed your like sense of reality in any way? Yeah I mean I think life is about changing your sense of reality at all times right? So that book probably has served me very well.

5:07Every time you leave a job that you've worked at for a long time and especially in the entertainment industry if you're working on a show then you don't get to see the people as much and it really changes and it's all about you know evolving and then reinventing and so it happens all the time yeah I was struck when I read your memoir the section about Amsterdam where you talk I mean it's at the very end in the epilogue I think you talk about how you watch that back now and you think who the fuck is that and is it is it sort of weird that one of your like most sort of I think widely known sort of like iconic moments is a version of yourself that you don't really identify with anymore yeah I will I never identified with that person.

5:43I don't know that person. I've never done anything like that in my life. I'm not somebody who likes conflict, is ever in conflict. Like that was one of those explosions of a moment that I could never have imagined. So I have no idea who that person is. That person is a mama bear that was protecting her husband and her family, period. And she'd never come out. But boy, was I surprised. And did you like, how did it feel after? Were you in, did you, did it sort of feel like an out-of-body experience even then it was really upsetting yeah like we were really the whole group of us was really devastated it was like you know it was like a car accident had happened or something really really major and we were all in shock yeah from it did you sort of have that experience of like a line having being crossed or did it just just feel so yeah big line being like life was never the same that show was never the same when that happened it changed everything What specifically do you think it, did it change the dynamic between you all or just the sort of how it felt working with the producers or just, you know?

6:44I think everything. It just changed everything. Because first of all, I never knew I had that in me. Second of all, it affected all the women because they were there. It was a life-altering, life-changing moment for me, for the show, for everybody. Like it changed everything. Have you been back to Amsterdam since? I haven't, but I'd like to go back. I loved it there. It's beautiful. I'd like to change it because the narrative of it obviously is not super positive for me. So I do have it on my bucket list to go back and like have an enjoyable time in Amsterdam. Yeah, totally. I mean, it's such a fun city to be out and about.

7:22Oh, I love it. It's beautiful. It's so beautiful. There's great shopping. Yes. Really good like designers there. Such good fashion. Yeah. I was also struck in your book. you talk about how when you first started on Housewives, it almost requires a type of like therapized external processing IRL. Was that like a weird thing to have to try and turn on? You know, I didn't ever think of it in those terms, literally. It was about, you know, we had a producer that came on, came over to my house right before I did the show. And he said the key to doing this show in reality television is you need to think out loud.

7:58That's the only direction I ever had. Yeah. And I'm good at taking direction as an actor. So I did it. Yeah. I just did that. And that can get you in a lot of trouble because imagine if you said everything you thought. Well, that's one of the things my therapist always says to me. She's like, not all thoughts need to be thought about of that idea of like, they're not all like little crumbs of gold. Yeah. You can kind of say, go away, go away. I don't want that one. I don't like that one. Exactly. Yeah. Well, that's actually a kind of theme in one of the other books you've chosen today, which is The Secret by Rhonda Byrne and this idea of like you attract what you think about.

8:35Tell me about your love of that book. Well, that book, again, really changed my life because I think growing up, you know, I was not taught about feelings and expressing them. You know, I grew up in a time where you did not talk about your feelings. You just swept them under the carpet and you just made the best of it. That's the British way as well. That's how I was raised to be. Right? Yeah. So what I love about that book is it taught me how to manifest in a positive way. It taught me how to change my negative feelings, my negative thought pattern. It taught me how to get what I needed out of life and create the right energy.

9:16Yeah. Yeah, that's interesting. One of the themes in the book that the writer talks about is that all of the experts she speaks to meditate. Are you a meditation person? I try. Oh, you try. very difficult. It's hard, isn't it? It is so hard. I always feel better when I meditate, but it is just so challenging to take that time. But I do feel better when I do. I know. Like I do other kinds of meditation too. When I work out, it's a very meditative state for me. So let's say if I need to like really sit with something, I'll go to yoga. Yeah. I'll go horseback riding or or hiking or something where you have to focus for that amount of time for say an hour.

9:57Yeah. And that helps me not go all over the place with my thinking. And that can be a meditation too, I think. And a bath, a bath can do the same. I love a bath for that. I also loved in your book where you talk about all the people that you've worked out next to in LA. I'd be struggling to meditate next to, is it Woody Harrelson who did yoga next to me? I did. Yeah, I did. I was like, dang, I'll be like, oh my God. I've, you know, I started working out in LA when I first moved there and that was kind of my way of meeting people too and I've done every single workout like known to man like all of them and yeah Woody Harrelson was in yoga uh Beyonce and Jay-Z were in SoulCycle that must have been incredible I mean what kind of music with what kind of class did they go to what sort of music was it uh it was this great teacher Angela okay they followed and what would happen is you know it's dark in there yeah so they would bring them in at the last minute and they would kind of usher him into the back and it's set up to where there's some bikes on the side they were always in the back but if I was on the side I would have to just force myself not to stare at them I know I'd be staring at them too like keep your head down but come on all you wanted to do is I know watch them I'd also just be fascinated like which songs they bopped to and like got into it where they like shouty so the songs were all great and they were into it like they were they were into it like we all were so it was fun yeah that is fun soul SoulCycle is such a vibe.

11:18I love it. Yeah, me too. I miss it. I haven't done it in a while. I went recently and had such a, I don't know, it's just like such a, it can be such a euphoric vibe. And a release. And I like how private it is. It's a release because you're in the dark. Yes. So you can kind of, you know, I cry a lot when I do SoulCycle. Yeah. It somehow releases whatever song, whatever it is, it releases something. I mean, I found myself crying a lot on my bike. Yeah, totally. there were some bits in The Secret that I was a bit like about where the writer talks about you know positive thinking for like health and stuff like that do you just sort of like read around parts like that or you know you believe it I think what you believe is what happens to you interesting I really do yeah I think that we create absolutely everything that happens to us wow I really do subconsciously sometimes yeah But think about it.

12:13If you're vibrating on a low vibration, which we tend to at times, or if you're vibrating at a high vibration, very different things come to you. You attract very different things when you're vibrating in a low direction or kind of like picking off low hanging fruit. Or if you're high, vibrating. And how do you switch from low vibration to high? yeah first you have to be able to acknowledge it and you kind of have to be able to really self-reflect and that's why all these books I think I'm drawn to is I am big on self-reflection yeah I think it's the most important tool that we have because it's so easy to point fingers and blame totally you did it you did it they did it my job my boss yeah this and that and the other thing but when you start to take responsibility for what part you played because we've played a part in everything that happens yeah it's not just one thing I love to kind of look at that and break it down in a scientific way yeah I get that with um when you are on traitors how did what was that sort of experience like from a like did you feel like you were on a high vibration while you were filming that well it's like a fever dream yeah you know how you feel when you're in a fever dream so your your senses are so heightened and you are in fight or flight because they keep everything secret yeah so you never know what's going to happen to you like you walk out this door you don't know if they're going to have like boogeymen out there you don't you have no idea so you're in fight or flight the whole time gosh which is not very healthy no and your and your adrenals are like shot so I mean I literally went to bed for three weeks after to recover oh yeah I know that like some of the other classmates they were they They were like, she's too quiet.

14:02She's too quiet. Does that annoy you when people sort of react that way? Well, it annoyed me in the sense that it was connected to, I expected you to be a housewife. Yeah. Quiet is one thing. Yes, I'm dramatic. Yes, I can be loud. You know, yes, this and that. But when you're a traitor, or a faithful, if you're too loud in that game, you go. The quiet ones are the ones that go till the end. So I knew there was a very fine line. I couldn't be too loud. I certainly couldn't give. And I wasn't going to. I hadn't been a housewife in three years. Yeah. And that isn't my persona. I mean, what you saw in the traders is really who I am.

14:43Yeah. And so going into it, I was like, I'm going to be my authentic self. And I know they're going to be like, where is your housewife? Yeah. And I'm going to be like, that's not who I am. And so it's always a bummer when they clock something that really isn't pertinent to what is going on. But it's funny because they didn't show this part. Another thing they clocked about me. We have a lot of downtime when you're sitting waiting for things and everyone's together. And you can talk about things, but you can't talk about the game. So for how many hours can you sit and like chit-chat with people?

15:19Yeah. And not try to save your energy. so I would go in the corner and do yoga and like stretch and after a while people started to get onto that and be like why is she so comfortable why is she over there doing yoga which had nothing to do with me being a traitor it had you know for me it was like how do I like keep myself awake how do I keep going and but they started to clock it like I was being weird yeah that's interesting And then that's kind of like you just existing in your own space. But I suppose everyone's looking for anything to put her on. Anything. You could blink wrong and they would be like, she's a traitor!

15:57Fascinating. Did your daughters and your husband feel like watching you on Traitors, they were like, oh, that's her, the true her, do you think? Well, I haven't asked them that question, interestingly enough. I mean, they see the true me. Yeah, of course. They all know that the housewife, Rinna, is not the Rinna that they live with. I mean, the housewife, Rinna, is someone reacting to what she's getting. Yes. Yeah. And I don't have to do that much in life. No. But on Housewives, you do. Yeah. And I did that. And so they don't know that person either, really. No. You know, they know me as mom and the one that is on Traders.

16:35Yes. Yeah. Interesting. In terms of like staying on a high vibration, when I read your book, I actually cackled out loud at several points for some of your like, my favorite was your description of Sutton, where it said she's frumpy, there's no sex appeal about her whatsoever and she's got a weird body. In a classroom of sodas, most stay quiet. Then there's Mr. Pibb. Sweet cherry, bold outbursts, the kind of flavor that gets attention. Bold kick of cherry. And you're Mr. Pibb. Get in the game with the college branded Venmo debit card. Wreck your team with every tap and earn up to 5 % cash back with Venmo Stash, a new rewards program from Venmo.

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17:36You're the first one to mention that, you know. Really? Yeah. Well, I thought it was such a lie. Tell me about like when you, you know, obviously we're trying to think positive thoughts, but sometimes those ones just get out. Sometimes they just get out. But it really just made me laugh because I was like, you know, in everything else you're being so sort of like, you're very magnanimous about a lot of stuff really. But then there was just that flash and it really made me chuckle. Good. I'm glad it made you laugh. Were there any like lines like that that you took out during the editing process?

18:11You'd be surprised. I really didn't take much out. I really know. I really didn't. I felt that I did take a couple of things out. I took a couple of things out because I had mended fence. I had mended fences with people and I didn't think it felt right to say certain things because we had moved forward and grown. Yes. So I did take a couple of those out. Yeah. But not much. No. I thought it was really reading it. I felt like you were really sad still about the Yolanda thing. like in that relationship i could feel like you felt you felt like there was some grieving going on about yeah and that was wrong on every level and that's the only thing i really regret because none of us should have gone there yeah the show pushed for it um and i was too new at the time to really be able to be like no like i was there to make a tv show anyway i should have said fuck no i'm not doing this no but often you don't know like where the line is until you've crossed it That's like a lesson in life.

19:09Yeah, I learned that lesson a lot. Yeah. I'd like to stop learning it that way. I'm trying to learn it without crossing the line. I know. I love it when people are like, it's character building. I'm like, I think my character's built enough. Me too. I don't need to cross lines anymore. Exactly. Try not to. Well, given that book is also about the laws of attraction, and I loved your line about how your style has evolved and how when it's all about body, body, body, that's the way to get a man and procreate, which is the line you like, love that. Yeah. What advice would you have for those of our readers who are single?

19:40Because the dating market, I don't know if you like, is awful. I'm single. I can't imagine. It's awful. I feel sorry for you guys. I do. Because how do you meet people? It sucks. Other than DMing or like TikTok meeting, that's a no-no, I think. But I know my girls do that. And I'm like, wait, you met him on TikTok? I have one daughter in particular who meets him on TikTok. And I'm like, girl, what would you do if you're like a 30-something like me who's single in the city. Here? Yeah. What would you do? Can you go on Hinge or is that like a gay thing? I'm not sure. No, no, Hinge is... It's Hinge for everybody?

20:15Yeah, yeah. I'm on Hinge. I would be scared though to meet people that way. What if they're like serial killers? Well, totally. That is always a risk. So, bars, going to bars? Like, but... Friends of Friends is a good way, so that's the... But a lot of it is through Instagram now and DMing and stuff. See, in acting class, we used to be able to meet people. Oh, yeah. Or like workout classes are good. Because you see them on, like, let's say you go to a spin class three times a week. Then you start to see the same people. So I think kind of like that, maybe that would be good. Yeah. Start trying different exercise classes.

20:52Yeah. Yoga's good because everyone's got a great body in yoga. So true. They do. Those are the best bodies, by the way. And the men are kind of cool in yoga, I think. They are. They're a little bit more like self-aware. I don't know. Try some exercise classes. Okay. Good advice. Yeah, mix it up. I love that. There's a lot of different ones here. There are. There's so many. And there's always a new one. So try that. There's always a new one. Okay. This is good advice. Look at me matchmaking over here. That's what we need. I wanted your advice on that because I was like, I feel like you do just sort of have to put yourself out there as well.

21:20Did you ever do like, I feel like a lot of women who are dating have like the fear of rejection. Is fear of rejection something you've ever wrestled with? Well, I mean, I have it in my career all the time. Yeah. Like that, the career is rejection. Well, that is acting, isn't it? I mean, it's sort of relentless. So I never really had fear of rejection from people. It's just my acting. Yeah. Because there was so much of it that you get used to it, sadly. Yeah. But if you want to be in this business, you just have to get used to it. So that's not really a fear of mine because I live it. Yeah. But I think that you do have to walk to the other side of that and be like, I don't care about being rejected.

21:55It's the only way. You have to. Yeah, totally. All right. Well, let's talk about the power of positive thinking. My favorite of all time. Yeah. Tell me about your love of this book. You know, I feel like books find us when we need to read them. Yeah. Like there's sometimes I read books. I'm like, I'm not ready for this. And then 10 years later, I'm like, oh, my God, I'm ready for this. Yeah. Power of Positive Thinking. I don't even know when it came into my life. But I have the same copy that I've always had. And, you know, it's quite religious. It is. It's very religious. It's very religious.

22:28And I was religious growing up. I loved to go to church. Church for me, and my parents didn't go to church. So I went with like the other families in the neighborhood. So how did you first end up going? Just you decided you wanted to. I would, you know, let's say I would sleep over. And I would go with them to the Catholic church because I grew up an only child. So I loved this family, the Boilers, who had six kids. And my mom used to live with Patty in San Francisco, the mom. So they've been friends since they were in college. So I would go to their house, and they were very Catholic and very religious, and on Sunday we would go to church.

23:05And I loved the feeling of community. I loved the message. Even Catholic Church, which is hard to understand, and it's long. I just loved it. I felt positive. I loved it. And so when my parents, like they went to Presbyterian Church or Episcopalian, I think, a couple of times. and then I met the Joneses and the Joneses went to the Presbyterian Church and they had four kids and I would like to go with them because afterwards we would go get chocolate eclairs. Oh fun. So I just loved the life of it and I felt like I belonged to something and so the power positive thinking when I started to read it the religious part did not bother me.

23:50I thought it was great. Yeah, no, I think it is. My parents met at church, so I also went a lot when I was younger. And the community part is really nice. I love church. Yeah. Do you ever go as an adult now? No, but I'd like to. Well, you also mentioned in the book that you studied, I don't know how to pronounce it. Kabbalah. Kabbalah, yeah. When did you do that? I studied Kabbalah. I still study Kabbalah, but probably in my early 30s. Okay. And I went to the Kabbalah Center. It was when Madonna was studying Kabbalah. With the little red. I still wear it. Oh, you still got it. I still wear it to this day when it falls off.

24:28There's three of us. So two of my other girlfriends and I, we went to the Kabbalah classes. We started in Kabbalah 1, 2, 3, and we studied for a long time. We'd go to the center. It's just a beautiful message of positivity. Again, it's about how to be better, how to use things that are happening to you and transform them into something better. And it's about protection and it's just about giving back and being a better human. Yeah, I love that. How can you not love that? Yeah, totally. Obviously, that book's very much about visualizing the things that you want. What are you visualizing for your next sort of era?

25:09well I want my children to be healthy and happy and my husband to be healthy and happy and safe and um what am I man I just have there's so much I want to do more acting oh yeah yeah I have another good role in me I feel I think so too a real good juicy one yeah oh yeah there's gonna be acting you know I love to do so many things I want to travel the world more I want to go to Egypt. I want to go down the Nile. I want to scuba dive in the Red Sea. Like there's so much I want to do over and over and on, on, on, and on. And so I think you have to manifest that. You have to continue to think about it and be very specific in your manifestation.

25:47That's the key. My daughter, Amelia, is one of the best manifestors I've ever seen in my life. Really? Interesting. Well, look, she became a supermodel and she just made that happen. She was like, that's what I'm going to do I'm gonna do it she's so specific she writes down exactly what she wants and then she'll go back after she gets it and see it in her journal oh that's happened over and over and over again it's mind-blowing I saw her work the Tory Burke show at fashion week she was amazing amazing go online today and watch her she just walked Demna's first Gucci show oh oh that's sad you couldn't be there oh I know I was gonna be but here I am no no it's brilliant and sometimes it's better for me not to be there because then she can do her thing.

26:33But Delilah, our oldest daughter, was there. So Sissy got to see Sissy. It was so cool. That's so fun. I hope they can go and have a big bowl of pasta after together. They're going to the Gucci party, I'm sure. Real good time. Talking of the acting, I recently did an Entourage complete rewatch and I loved that episode. I think you're so fun. How great was that episode? It's so good. I love that it's called Malibuti, that episode. It's so fun. Tell me about that. Okay, I'm going to tell you the story. So I had, I think, do we know what year that was? It was like the early 2000s. Okay, so I just had Amelia.

27:03Yeah. So I have two young children. My agent calls. I read the script. I go, I can absolutely not do this. It's too raunchy. I can't be saying these words. I can't do it. I'm a new mother. He goes, you're doing it. I go, I can't do it. You're doing it. Trust me, you'll never regret it. You're doing it. So I was like, all right. and I did it it was time of my life it's one of the greatest things it was so funny those guys are so funny Colleen Camp and I it's one of the greatest scenes I've ever gotten to do it's so fun it's so funny and it's it's just so brilliant the comic timing or sort of like they were so good those guys yeah I bet what an honor and well look such an iconic LA show right and like when you popped up I was like this is brilliant and we're like smoking in the hot I in the hot I mean oh god it must have been such a fun filming day yeah I'm glad he made me do it yeah and nice when you after you've had kids to kind of lock back in and remember I can do all this stuff like you know yeah and you know I looked way better than I thought I would have I was like I can't I just had a baby I look fucking hot in that so hot you look so hot I was like what are that's the thing you know people ask me a lot now because I oddly enough I have a lot of people a lot of fans in their 20s yes yeah crazy and they say like what would you tell your younger self or what would you tell me you know in my 20s and i would say don't worry so much and everything is going to be okay yeah that's great advice well your final book that you selected is capote's women by lawrence lima tell me about your love of this book i don't know why I'm so fascinated with Truman Capote.