Cheryl Strayed and Oprah on the Conversation That Could Change Your Life | Super Soul Sparks

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0:30Hi, it's Ashley from OWN. I used to think great work was about being in the right head space. Then I found a TikTok video that made me think about my physical space. An interior designer explored how things like ceiling height and room size might influence how we think. Now I wonder how much of our environment shapes our work without us noticing. Now I'm looking at my workspace asking what kind of thinking I'm making room for. On TikTok, one idea can change how you see something you thought you knew. Your next discovery is waiting on TikTok. Hey, sweetie. Look at you! You are in your wild boots!

1:06I'm wearing my wild boots, in your honor. Cheryl Strayed's best-selling book Wild captivated millions of readers and inspired an Oscar-nominated film. But in a twist Cheryl never even predicted, many of her words have sparked an internet phenomenon. When people take a quote, they're making it their own. You know, I wrote it, but it belongs to them. Four years after the enormous success of Wild, Cheryl's powerful, deeply personal quotes are some of the most shared, tweeted, and memed on social media. Cheryl calls quotes mini instruction manuals for the soul. They are the heart of her latest bestseller, Brave Enough.

1:48Quotes at their core almost always shout, Yes! Yes!

1:55Cheryl's memoir details her harrowing 1 ,100-mile trek on the Pacific Crest Trail. Her quest to reclaim her shattered life after her mother's death resonated deeply with readers. I said, I have to bring back the book club because I can't keep it to myself. I just can't keep it to myself. I need to shout from a mountaintop. I need to shout on the web. I need to tell everybody I know about this book. Four months after Wilde was published, Sheryl released another bestseller called Tiny Beautiful Things. It's a compilation of the popular online advice columns she wrote under the pen name Sugar. Sheryl's willingness to reveal her own struggles in order to help her readers won her a passionate and devoted following.

2:45With Brave Enough, Sheryl honors that connection by collecting the quotes her legions of readers told her they found most inspiring. During this whole process of writing, did you change the way you were able to express suffering? Because I had read that at one point that you thought that that was... Like, don't tell that story. Yeah, don't tell that story. Yes, absolutely. Don't let anybody know. And now you feel completely different. That in the sharing of the story. Yeah. Well, I would say that that's the lesson, you know, one of the most important lessons I learned through the success of Wild is that it was such an affirmation that if you take that risk, if you take that chance, if you tell the truest, hardest, deepest story you have within you, you're not going to step into the light and find that you're there alone, that you're going to be surrounded by people who are there with you.

3:37And say, me too. Saying, me too. Me too. And when you take that, essentially you're risking vulnerability, you're risking showing your truest nature. Yes. And, you know, here I was writing about the death of my mother. You know, as you know, my mom died of cancer when she was 45. It was the greatest loss of my life. And it was that story that I had to tell over and over again. I've told it in all of my books. And there was a point where I felt like, okay, Cheryl, you need to shut up about this. This is, you know, a lot of people die of cancer. Quit complaining about it. Quit moaning about it. But I had something really true to tell about that loss and also what came after that loss, that me finding my way back to life through remembering the love that my mother gave me.

4:24And I ended up, when I did take that chance of telling that very specific story, speaking with a universal voice, that's what I found. Because I wasn't just talking about myself, I was talking about all the people. All the people. And people around the world, not just here in the U.S. That's been astounding to me. I went to India, and I was giving this reading in this packed room in Jaipur, India, this tent at the Jaipur Literary Festival. I've been there. Hundreds. Were you there? I've been there. Oh, yes, I saw a picture of you. Hundreds of people. And I looked out, and I thought, I was terrified, and I just thought, I'm going to do what I do.

5:02And I finished my talk, and I went and sat at my little table where I was to do my book signing. and those hundreds of people all lined up. And they all said to me all the same things that people say to me in Ohio and Los Angeles. In your hometown, yeah. Exactly. The same things. And again, we are more the same than we are different. Do you think that every person has that truth within them to speak, whether they can write it or not? I do. I do. I mean, obviously, you know, the work I do is as a writer, but the life I have is as a human. I think that every time you take that, that you find that strength to show your truest self, you know, risk showing that self that makes you feel a little uncomfortable, a little like you might be, you know, found out to be the weird one after all.

6:00That almost always when I take that chance, whether it be in small talk or in a book. Well, not just risk, be brave enough to break your own heart. To be brave enough, that's right. To be brave enough to break your own heart, which is your quote. That's my quote. Hello, brave enough. And what that's about is being brave enough to risk intimacy, to risk rejection, to risk failure. And all of the best things come when you do that. Because it's about really, when you risk all of those things, you are really daring to be more human. You are. You are. And I think that sometimes you learn things the hard way and you never forget it, do you?

6:36And you never, ever, ever forget it. And so being brave enough to break your own heart is about being brave enough to make the decisions that end up being really right for you. And also brave enough to sometimes make a decision that wasn't the best one on the end, but you learn from it. Well, there's no decision that you can't learn from. That's right. Yeah. That's right. Hi, it's Ashley from OWN. This episode is sponsored by Dispatches from the Divide, a new limited series podcast. When conflict pushes us apart, what does it take to choose compassion instead? Dispatches from the Divide shares powerful true stories of ordinary people facing extraordinary divisions and finding unexpected ways to leave with empathy, courage, and humanity.

7:20It's a moving look at what can happen when we choose curiosity over conflict, even when it's hardest. Find Dispatches from the Divide wherever you get podcasts. Hi, it's Ashley from OWN. We recently renovated our garage and turned it into a flex space. It's now an office and a guest house, and it's my new favorite place on our property. I needed a nice sofa bed that can fit a good amount of people while not taking up too much space and serves as a comfortable bed. I found my dream sofa bed on Wayfair, and I couldn't be happier. Whatever you need for your home, I highly recommend Wayfair. Use filters, customer photos, and more than 20 million verified five-star reviews to confidently find the right fit for your home.

8:02Shop thousands of products across every style and budget, whether you're simply replacing an appliance or transforming your home from top to bottom for the holiday season. Find pieces made for real life and get even more value with Wayfair Rewards. Join Wayfair Rewards today to get 5 % back on every purchase. Head to Wayfair.com to shop all things home. That's W-A-Y-F-A-I-R dot com. Wayfair, every style, every home First of all, can you finish this? I feel the presence of God when? When I'm in natural, beautiful, wild places. I experience love when? Mmm. I breathe. Mmm. The purpose of forgiveness is?

8:51To move forward, to have a whole life. Mmm. And I'm living my purpose when? I'm loving and giving and writing. And you believe the purpose of a soul is? I think of my soul as my center, the repository of the deepest truths, the thing that has guided me since the moment I was born and will guide me to my death. Do you have a hope for your legacy? Yes, I hope that people find solace in the words that I've left them, whether it be in my writing, in my books, or in the conversations we've had together. What do you think is the biggest obstacle to peace? The biggest obstacle to peace? I think it's scarcity.

9:51The idea that we don't live in an abundant world. I think people get really afraid when they think something's been taken from them. You think that's the same thing as the force of rage? Because, you know, events in the news, over and over again, we see the violence and we see the rage. What do you think the source of rage is? The same thing? I think it is that scarcity. I think that people feel very afraid when they feel threatened that their power has been taken away or that other groups of people have been granted some sort of power or access that they don't have and that becomes rage and violence.

10:30And the root of racism is? Oh God, so deep. I think the root of racism is in this false notion of the other, us and them, that kind of divide that maybe we're not born with, but that we're taught so early on. Again, it's interesting. It's connected to scarcity. It's like we are this tribe and they are that tribe and these people are this and this. And that idea that we have to hold power instead of share love. That's really good, Cheryl. And so who've been your greatest teachers? My mother. My father, not a positive teacher, but he taught me things about the world and humanity that are actually negative.

11:27But I do think that that has, you know, learning about some of the difficult things has been useful to me in my life. My kids have taught me a lot, my husband, and people who guided me on my path as a writer. And real success is? Knowing that you did the best work you can possibly do, that's the only measure that matters to me. If I can say, yes, I gave it my all, yes, I did my best, that's success. This is perfect for you because you already wrote about it. What advice would you give your younger self? The thing that I really wish I could travel back in time and tell myself, and I think I'm not alone in this, is just to say to my younger self, you are okay.

12:12You're doing good. Just keep doing it and you're going to learn. You're going to relax. You know, just relax. And don't worry so much about, you know, finding the answers and finding love and finding, you know, success. Just do your work. Live your life. Be kind. Be good. Pay your own electric bill. It's going to turn out okay. Yes. If you do that, have integrity. Trust your integrity. Don't trust, you know, what somebody else thinks that you should be doing with your life. Trust your own integrity. Trust your gut. Yeah. Which is, you know what? I ended up doing that and it ended up working out, didn't it?