Julia Roberts: Daring and Vulnerable, Part 2

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1:13That's store.teneco.com. And use code TENECOSOUL to unlock an even better Black Friday deal with an extra 6 % off on top of existing offers. Clean less, live more. I'm Oprah Winfrey. Welcome to Super Soul Conversations, the podcast. I believe that one of the most valuable gifts you can give yourself is time. Taking time to be more fully present. Your journey to become more inspired and connected to the deeper world around us starts right now. Welcome to part two of our conversation. You know there's so much going on. I remember speaking at graduation for USC and saying to the students there, just pick a problem.

2:03You can look at anything in the world that's not going well, choose that to align yourself with, give voice to, speak up for, and I know you've been very vocal in supporting Break Bread, Not Families, which works to end family separation for immigrants. This family separation thing has got me just absolutely, I mean, I don't even know how, I can't even get my mind around it. I cannot get my mind around it. Me either. Me either. Me either. So what was it that you saw or heard that made you say, I have got to do something? well it's i mean it's one of those things i try not to get caught up with where do you start because that can be the end of something for me if i get so paralyzed by i don't even know where to start i don't even know who to talk to first i don't know any of that stuff it's um so it's just trying to, in all the different places that I get to go, all the different people that I get to meet, it's starting the conversation and seeing what other people think or are doing, or, you know, Sean Penn is a lovely friend of mine, and he's doing some incredible things in the world, and this is one of them, and then I was lucky enough to be in the presence of the amazing Ethel Kennedy, and...

3:39Right. I heard you were at the compound this summer. She is such an inspiration. And did you go there specifically for breaking bread, for break bread, not families? I didn't, but it came up in conversation. Because I think this is our responsibility as citizens of the world, is to start these conversations everywhere we go. What do you think? What are you doing? What do you think I should do? So that there is this constant dialogue, and so you are bringing that, which we get so overwhelmed every day with a new set of problems, a new set of global issues, just a new low every day, that there does come a point, I think, where we all are just silent in our despair, and it's about— Right, and oversaturated.

4:33You're just overwhelmed by, yeah, that question of where do you even begin. If we can keep talking about it, and so that's how it came up where Carrie Kennedy was working on this program. She does so many remarkable things, and this was one of the things that she asked me to do. And from that, actually, a girlfriend of mine in Topanga now sort of was inspired by that campaign and started her own campaign, a grassroots campaign that I'm now going to participate in with her. And so it's great when you see it is every little tiny bit does make a difference. Every little conversation that you have, maybe those five people go up and have five other conversations.

5:16For every family that's reunited. And every family that's reunited. Well, it's something we never thought we'd see in this country. It's something we never thought. And I don't know how we can all, I can't even, and I won't even allow myself to think about what that would really feel like if I was, you know, I mean, when my kids go to school, I'm like watching the clock. Okay, I just got to get to 315 and then they're going to all come back, you know. So to really be truly, truly torn apart from your family, I can't comprehend it. I hope I never really have to. But on behalf of mothers that are going through this, how on earth can we sit by?

6:03It's unimaginable what they're going through. It's unimaginable. Yeah, and those children will never be the same, particularly the young ones will never be the same. They come back and they— None of them will. Because you could no longer trust. that are working in these detention places will never be the same. Everybody is broken from this. And whatever repair can be done, whatever can be done to reunite the families, just to physically put the pieces back together, it's still, I mean, it's devastating. Devastating. Okay. I never thought I'd see the day Julia Roberts is on Instagram. You posted for the very first time in June.

6:44I saw that and thought, yep, that's you in that shirt with the arrow going through that. That's you with the love shirt on. Social media, you, you who's just remained, you know, Julia mom, Julia work sometimes is now on social media. What made you decide to do that? Well, kind of a few things. I think one of the things, obviously, you know, my kids sort of ask me about it. Why don't you do that? That'd be cool. why don't you do that oh you know so that conversation had gone on for a while and of course in you know the new Travolta said the same thing his daughter talked him into it yeah well and it's also you know it is an element of the way people promote things and work and I didn't want to I thought if I was going to uh do something in that realm I didn't want it to be hi, I've had Instagram and here's a movie to go see.

7:43You know, I didn't want it to hold hands quite like that. So it was a matter of how can I do a little bit of both things, like just sort of participate and have fun and also say, oh, yeah, I worked my butt off last year and here's a little element of that, you know. So it's definitely a balancing act, and it's been tricky to know what to post because I am private, but I am also friendly. I like to share, and there's been for me a learning curve for certain that's been interesting. And I also think it was deeply illuminating for me because one of the things that I knew going into it was I don't have a lot of time to put into something like this.

8:49And I know someone like Sarah Jessica Parker, who is a friend and who I really admire. and she has an incredible Instagram and she has conversations with people. You know, someone will write something and ask her a question and she will answer them. You know, and I'm always like, wow, she's got 5 ,200 comments and she somehow, you know. Which brings me to why are there only, do you block comments? I block comments because my okay all right my my because I've looked on there and there's like one comment I went well that makes no sense well because I'll usually the only people that can comment I guess are the people that I follow so I follow I think like 12 or 15 or 20 people and okay those are the only comments that you would I think you're up to 48 now I think I saw but maybe no it's one of those things where I just didn't want people to be expecting a conversation and be let down because I know I'm not going to have time for that that's not really the point for me and you have a whole nother life hello people I have a whole nother life but what's fascinating to me is um 18 you have 18 followers just looked it up yeah that's 18 When people do comment on things, I'm just going to say it the way that it happened because it was fascinating to me, and I think it taught me a lot about being a young person in today's society.

10:30I posted a picture of my niece and I from one weekend morning. She'd slept over, and we got up, and we're having tea and playing cards and having this beautiful morning. and I posted this picture and it was great I felt great about it and my sweet little niece reposted it a couple of days later and two interesting things happened the first interesting thing was the amount of people who didn't know we were related which was funny just because I think we have a strong resemblance of one another and that it's just been written about a lot and so that was illuminating and then the amount of people that feel was this emma was this with emma okay um the amount of people that felt absolutely required to talk about how terrible I looked in the picture.

11:37Oh, I saw this picture. You're wearing glasses. You're at home. You're at a card table. People are commenting on how terrible you looked? Mm-hmm. That I'm not aging well. That I look like a man. Why would I even post a picture like this when I look that terrible? People saying, God, I didn't even recognize her. This is what she looks like. What on earth? And then the fights that break out within the comments. where someone says, Oh my goodness. You should be nice. Why should I be nice? She looks terrible. And people start fighting within the comments about what people are saying. But I was amazed at what that made me feel.

12:23And I'm a 50-year-old woman, and I know who I am. And still, my feelings got hurt. Because I was so hurt that people couldn't see the point of it, the sweetness of it, the absolute shining joy of that photo. Yeah, that was the Sunday. It was a Sunday morning photo, I thought. Yeah, I mean, it was like 9 o 'clock in the morning. We were having the bath time. And that it really came down to that I'm not aging well and I look like a man. and I'm too skinny and I'm too all these things. And I thought, God, what if I was 15? That's just devastating. Yeah. And it really made me see all the things about hearts and clicks and likes and you realize there is something neurological about this whole system because I just felt like, wow, if I can get bummed out over this and I imagine, imagine, you know what, and that's what you, what, what reemphasizes exactly what you were just saying about if you have teenagers today, you don't know what it's like to be a teenager.

13:54You don't know what it's like. I had a whole, I was so happy that it happened because I had this whole new glimpse into a way of living that I didn't get at all. I could have never have really, you know, you really, you have to go through things to understand them. And I feel like, and this was just a little paper cut of what can really go on on social media. Of the clicks and likes culture. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Wow. So it was a fascinating little experience to have. So the comments were all on Emma's Instagram, not on yours, because yours were only the 18 people you found. She wrote to me and she said, Auntie, you can't believe how many people didn't know you were my auntie.

14:47She had texted me, and I looked and I saw that she'd posted, and I was reading and it was really entertaining that little section of just people like what who they didn't know where have I been and it was funny yeah um and then it got and then you read really not funny yeah yeah don't read the comments does she does Emma ever call on you for advice about the business or what does she ever call on you or what kind of advice have you given You know, she has, but only of late. We have a really great relationship, Emma and I. I am so proud of her as just a person living in this world. She's incredible.

15:30She's very smart. She's wonderful. She has a giant heart. And so work-wise, it hasn't really ever been something that was part of our relationship. relationship. You know, she supports my work, I support her work, but we don't ever really talk about it. And I think now that she is really this grown-up person, you know,

16:00carving out what she wants to see as her, you know, acting tapestry, what she wants to do, what she wants to say as an actor. We have started talking about projects and things, and she'll mention, you know, she has this incredible book club and inspired by the greatest book club, Oprah's Book Club. And she's a prolific reader, and she really has invested her mind in a way that I have incredible respect for. and so I love when I get a chance to read one of her book choices or she was doing a project that was based on a book and or she was thinking about it and so I started reading the book and then she texted me did I have time to talk and she said you know kind of this is happening with this project and it's kind of feeling a little bit more like this than like that and I'm just not sure and have you all just ever discussed doing something together have you discussed doing work together?

17:05Would that be fun? It would be fun. I mean, we've been in the same movie, but haven't done things together. Right. And it would be fun. And I'm sure it will happen at some point. You know, I think her acting interests, her story interests are different than mine in a way that is totally appropriate. But who knows? Somewhere down the line, I'm bound to play her mother. We certainly look alike. For sure. That would be fun. So now we're halfway into this administration's term in the White House, and at the same time Hollywood is still grappling with the Harvey Weinstein scandal, where it seems that new accusations about different executives seem to come out once a month.

17:51What kind of impact has this time in our culture had on you, if at all? Has it had an impact at all? well i think it's impossible not to be impacted by it just even just the the reeling from it is impactful the but you know i will say this out of all the negative things that you know the great thing that always rises is the voice of people who have survived or prevailed or now have a place of comfort and inspiration. I mean, I've said it before that when Donald Trump was elected, having been through, as a family, the presidential debates and watching someone behave on television and speak on television in ways that were so surprising and things and terms and phrases that your children say, what does that mean?

19:09And you find yourself having to somehow define these vile expressions

19:20was a real learning moment in our household. And so when he was elected and I was watching the news, and it was a little after 5, and I had woken up in the middle of the night and seen what we all saw coming confirmed. And Hazel came down, and the TV was on, and it said on the crawl at the bottom, Trump wins. And she kind of gasped. Because, of course, we all had this collective hope or belief that something else was going to happen. And she was so taken aback. And I think that what I saw in that exact moment was the complete need for me as a parent to find a way to make her feel that this wasn't happening to us, that we could still participate in our voice and in our belief system.

20:33that's why we went to the first march in washington was i wanted her to feel like she still had a voice and a place in the world that she could still believe in what she believed in even though someone else was now present and i also told them that they were not allowed to go to school and speak in a way that was derogatory about him because we are a democracy and And Democrats have to support what's happening in their country the best that they can in the way that they can. And so I felt like we all kind of found a way to feel empowered within a situation that left us all kind of reeling. And, geez, what happens now?

21:21and it was very powerful for me to have her in a way be my leader into this space of marching and participating in in being a citizen of this country yeah pretty incredible everything that has happened has really opened up opportunities for people to as I see it be more of themselves standing in the gap for other people, you know. Breaking bread, not families, exists because of the opposite of that is happening, you know. It's an equal and opposite reaction to what is going on. So in 2018, you know, women are still making 80 cents to every dollar a man makes, and this disparity has historically been even more noticeable, of course, in Hollywood.

22:10you know Claire Foy is getting she's playing the Queen she's playing the Queen getting less than the guy who's playing her husband is that true yeah oh yeah that was true there's a big story last year I think yeah well certainly that's been fixed I just read something it may be by now it has been fixed because I just read something about a month ago that said it had not been fixed yet, that you still had not gotten parody. Well, someone needs to call Claire. So here's the thing. You're fabulous. Everybody on the show is fabulous. But it's called The Crown, and you wear The Crown. And if they want The Crown to show up.

22:57Could you believe that? That's incredible. That is just, though, when I heard that, I just thought, that is ridiculous. That show is fabulous, though, by the way, isn't it? Yeah, it is. She's amazing. It's a beautiful show. What are your thoughts on the wage gap, though? What are you? Do you think we're getting closer to salary parity? Or, I mean, that Claire Foy story just stopped me in my tracks. Yeah, well, that is surprising, especially that it's so recent. I mean, I think that what's incredible is that people are feeling empowered by their own voice and their own. And I think people feel safer to speak their truth than ever before because there's just so much muck and lies and stuff, and it's all kind of gotten so murky that you realize either we're all going to go blind or we have to say what we believe, and we have to say, everyone needs to know that over here in my life experience this is happening and I don't think it's right and I don't think it's fair and when someone is able to find that voice and that courage then they bring the like-spirited support that they need to affect change to them and I think that's something incredible that is definitely going on

24:23yep do you feel optimistic about where we're headed as a as a world I mean you always seem so positive your smile lights up any room or any space but do you do you feel optimistic I do because Because for me, there's not another option. I just think that if you're raising young humans in this time and if you... Hi, it's Ashley from OWN. One of my favorite things about the holidays is hosting. The holiday season is all about family and friends enjoying one another. and I take pride in being able to do so at my home. I needed an ice maker for all of the cocktails to come and I found the perfect one on Wayfair.

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25:53That's W-A-Y-F-A-I-R.com. Wayfair, every style, every home. Hey, we're Nick and Jack, hosts of The Best One Yet. Behind every episode, there's research, email, spreadsheets, and our shared Google Doc, The Headline Hammer. With Google Works Workspace with Gemini, Google's AI is built right into the premium versions of tools we already use, like Gmail, Docs, and Sheets. No new tools or extra logins, just personalized AI for the way we work. That means less time on the work around the work and more time finding the stories worth talking about. Get AI tools for work. Upgrade to Google Workspace with Gemini at goo.gle slash workspace with Gemini.

26:32That's goo.gle slash workspace with Gemini. You really want things to change and get better for everyone. You have to believe that it will, and you have to participate in that belief on a regular basis. Okay. I mean, energetically, don't you feel like you have to energetically put it out there? that it's all going to be okay?

27:11Yes. What I think energetically you have to put out is the best of yourself. You know, you banish the darkness with as much light as possible. And all you need is just a little candle light to, you know, open up the darkness. You walk in a dark room, you have a candle. That candle, that room is no longer dark anymore because of that one candle. So imagine all of our candles together. I think times where you have this kind of adversity and divisiveness is the time to look inside and bring out the light that is you, energetically projecting that into the world in every way that you can. That's what I think.

27:51That's so beautifully. And I see you doing that every day in everything that you do. And it appears to be effortless, as I was saying earlier. And you look like I always know that things are not what they look like, that there's always multiple layers. Sometimes those layers are better than we imagine, and sometimes they're not. So I try not to make judgments about other people's lives. But I would be surprised, actually. You would be one of those people. We played this game the other day about, you know, who are the couples that you believe are the real, you know, strong couples. You know where we were?

28:26We were on David's boat playing that game of who's the couples. And I was like, you, you and Danny Motor. Tom Hanks, Rita Wilson, Tom and Rita. And before Mike died, I would have said Mike and Diane. For sure. For sure. Those are the ones I said I would, you know, I'd put real money on. I'd stand in the truth with that. Those are the, you guys are the ones I'd be stunned if something else showed up because the way energetically, vibrationally, authentically you are presenting your life feels like the real thing. And you've been described as a woman who balances it all. Do you feel that you do?

29:12Do you like that characterization? Is having it all in the traditional sense even possible in 2018? Well, I just think, you know, you have to define your terms of what is all what is all for me may not be all for you or all for my neighbor or all for you know the mom that I see at school so I think you know people have to realize that it's all about the definition of what is the quality that you are looking for of all the elements that make up your day or your life or, you know, I mean, you know how you see some relationships, whether it be a husband and a wife or a mother and her children. And I think, wow, that, that wouldn't be enough for me.

30:04I wouldn't, I wouldn't know how to have my child speak to me like that and still have a smile on my face that you know i i need it coming i needed to be a two-way street all the time you know and sometimes where there's like mutual respect mutual mutual it has to be yeah i mean those pleases and thank yous aren't just you know to be sweet when your you know grandma comes over that is that that's the fuel that gets dinner made sometimes you know when and you just cannot face the kitchen. It's like, oh, Mom, can we please have this for dinner tonight? You know what? Yes, yes, we can. Let's see if we can put this together.

30:47You know, it's all those little— Are you still standing in the kitchen making every meal? Are you making every meal and doing the grocery shopping to make the meal? Yes, most of the time. When I'm—that's the perfect scenario would be yes. Wow. Now, obviously, when I'm working, it's not that. And, you know, and it's funny because Hazel has become vegetarian, which I completely support. We all as a family support. We do not align with that ourselves. We're carnivores. She is a herbivore. And, but Danny was the one doing all the cooking. I was away in New York when this started happening. and when I would say to Hazel or to him, so what is it that you, how do you handle, like, Hazel being a vegetarian at night?

31:41You're cooking dinner. What do you do? And he said, well, like, last night I made this and this for me and the boys, and then I made this for her. I said, wait, you made her a second dinner? No, no, just, can't you just modify what you're cooking? He said, no, I just want to make it really nice for her and, you know, as special as the meal that I'm making for everyone else. I was like, oh, my gosh, you are making big shoes for me to fill. Because that's, you know, but it was just to really show the respect and really encourage her new endeavor. And she's been amazing. That's incredible. Yeah, stayed with us.

32:19That she doesn't have to get the leftover mushrooms. Yes, exactly. We had mushrooms for you. Yeah. Yeah. We had mushrooms, and so you can eat that. Yeah, exactly. Wow. Wow. So if you could give a young working mother any advice about this balancing act that you've been able to master, what would it be? Because I know that that is a major, major, major frustration and issue for so many people. And then they see you seemingly do it so well. Well, first of all, you have a partner that's willing to help you. Yes, which is number one. Yeah. But I guess it's also that illusion of mastery because, you know, I can have a great Monday and a really crappy Tuesday.

33:05You know, it's a free-flowing thing. It is not a static thing. Oh, I've got this. Oh, I've mastered this mothering thing. It doesn't exist. And so everybody makes sure that they understand that going into it, you know. You have to be, you know, sweet to your husband every day. It's not just one great day of sweetness, and that's going to last you a lifetime. So for me, it's just knowing that it's freestyle. And I think what some women, we fall into this place, because I know I've done it, where you feel like it's your responsibility to, you know, give everything, give and give and give. I mean, you have taught us more about this than anybody, Oprah, about time for yourself and speaking up for yourself and believing in yourself.

34:03And so there's nothing wrong with saying to your spouse or to your child or to your friend, can I get a hand? Can you help me here? I need somebody else in here helping me do this because I can't do it by myself. I don't want to do it by myself. So being able to ask for help when you need it and even help from your children, expecting a reciprocal respect from your children that you're giving to them, that's what those pleases and thank yous are about, you're saying. It's not just when grandma comes over. I thought that was really good. And the I love yous and the hugs and the, you know, all of it.

34:46It's all so nourishing, and we all need that. Of course, I want to start my day with four kisses every single day. And that is my expectation. That is what I expect. So how do you discipline? How then do you discipline? Because things aren't always perfect. How do you discipline? And who is a disciplinarian? You, Danny, both? We take turns. We discipline in different ways. He is calmer. um i have more of like an explosive like what what am i seeing right now like you know um but i but you know the great thing for me in myself is that i can get mad i can get disappointed i can you know yell at my kids as they would tell you but But I also like to return to that conversation later once everything's calmed down that night, the next day, whenever, and just say, what could we have all done better for that?

35:57Because I know I blew it. I got so mad. But I didn't know what else to do. or if you realize you were just wrong and you were getting mad about something that you didn't know the full story about and saying, I am very sorry that I did not have all the facts before I came down on you or whatever it is. You know, it's just knowing that you don't have to pretend like you've got this. Oh yeah, I did all the right things that you can say, you know what, I blew it. I'm your mom, and I blew it. Because it's a constantly evolving process. And I have seen in your relationships with your children, Maria's relationships with her children, Gail's relationships with her children, I've seen when you give mutual respect to kids that they respond in kind, because they're just little people who haven't had as much life experience.

36:55But that respect factor, insisting upon it from both sides, the mutuality of it, I think is really, really key. And you guys have balanced that so beautifully. How would you describe your personal style, Miss Julia? Do you have a go-to off-duty uniform? Miss Bazaar, Miss Harper's Bazaar cover. It's nothing that you would see in Harper's Bazaar, I'm sure. You know, for summer, it's just a lot of cutoffs, right? Just t-shirts and cutoffs. And, you know, some days I'm almost certain I look adorable. And there are many days where it's just, you know, the summer hot mess express where you're, you know, just you're off duty.

37:44You get to. So it's cutoffs for you. It's cutoff. Yeah. Yeah. A lot of summer cutoffs. You know. Summer dresses. Yeah. Hollywood's always placed this premium on being the youngest and freshest thing out there and it looks like you are in spite of the Instagram posts you are you are aging effortlessly it does it just looks like your smile got brighter and you're just beginning your 50s I have to say I love my 50s and I remember when Maya told me your 50s are all that you were meant to be it's everything that you've been meaning to do and been meaning to be. Have you found that to be true? Yeah, I mean, I would say that 50s are off to a good start.

38:32Did it have an impact? Did that number pull you up? Did you think, oh, or did it have any impact at all? You know, I just, I think it's so much about feeling loved. and my friends and family, you know, especially around birthdays. I'm one of these people, I love birthdays. I love birthdays of others and I love my birthday. And Danny had thrown me this incredible 49th birthday party. and it was just the most magical, best, wonderful, fun party I could have ever imagined. And the next day we were talking about it and we still had friends there. And I said, you know, the one terrible thing that you've done here is you've basically thrown me my 50th birthday party on my 49th birthday.

39:31And we just laughed and he goes, well, what should we do for your 50th? and I said how about this we have five days away with zero contact with the outside world and that'll be 50 and that's what we did and it was so beautiful and wonderful and of course we talked to the kids because it was just the two of us and there was a point that I thought gosh this is kind of weird not being all together the five of us for my birthday the five of you and i was kind of like huh i didn't think this maybe all the way through and on my birthday the day of my birthday we had this beautiful morning in this place that we'd been and then danny said pack up we're getting in the car we're driving somewhere so we got in the car we drove from where we were and we're just driving driving having this great time and we got to a major city and it's a place we've been before.

40:33I was like, oh, this is a great town. We'll do some shopping. We'll eat some good food. This is going to be great, and the kids all had soccer games, and they'd been texting us. Other parents had been texting me scores of games and stuff like that, and so I knew when all their games were over that they would call us, and we talked to them on my birthday, and we went into this shop that we've been to a number of times before. It's a surfing shop, of course, and we go in, and we're looking at surfboards, and we're looking at stuff, and I say to Danny, oh, I'm just going to go use the loo back here.

41:04And I go in the back of the store and I go in the bathroom and I come out and Danny's standing there holding the surfboard. He goes, what do you think of this one? And I said, that's a big board. I mean, what is that for? And he moves it and all three kids are standing behind it. Oh, my gosh. And I, I mean, I could burst into tears right now thinking about it. But they had tricked me so completely. Oh, my goodness. There was no soccer game. There was no, even these friends of ours that were texting me scores of games. Everybody was in on it. Oh, my goodness. Oh, my goodness. And it was so incredible and beautiful.

41:46And that's what getting older is about. It's not about turning 50. It's about turning even more into the person that you have made clear to the people that you love who you are. Ooh, that's beautiful. That was turning 50 for me. It was pretty spectacular. What's the first thing you do every morning and the last thing you do before bed? Kiss Danny. Kiss Danny. Well, that first and last. Yep. Final question. Is there a piece of advice you cherish, you hold close to your heart, the best advice you listened to, and it paid off?

42:34I don't know. The first thing that comes into my mind when you say that isn't really advice. it's just a feeling that I'm glad that I had the opportunity to feel and then I'm glad that I leaned into it when I had it which is my life as a friend and as a co-worker with Mike Nichols he was always so unwaveringly encouraging and and there was just something to allowing myself to be lifted up by that that not to think, oh, see, I've convinced him that I'm very good at my job or I've convinced him that I know a lot about this thing. That it was realizing this is a good, good man and he loves me and is encouraging me because he sees things that are true about me.

43:47that there's no trick there's no pretense and

43:59it was just so valuable to me that I really accepted that

44:08what's happening here Oprah I don't know Mike we haven't seen each other for too long That's what's happening here. Like interview slash catch up. Yeah, interview becomes catch up. Thank you, Harper's Bazaar. Okay, I've got a couple of soul-to-soul questions. You answer them as quickly as you want, so it's not okay. So, yeah, the beautiful, you know, if I were doing this interview, the interview ends with that story about the surfboard and the children are behind it and turning 50. Just a note to you editors, that's it. what has been the most difficult choice you've had to make to fulfill your destiny?

44:53I think to say out loud to people that I wanted to be an actor. I was really, I felt embarrassed. I felt that it was saying more about what I thought about myself than I really did. I found that really hard. Also, coming from a family of actors, I felt like it seemed like, you know, the easy choice. What's the lesson that took you the longest to learn? The lesson that took you the longest to learn that you kept repeating and it kept showing up wearing a different something, but was the same lesson? That I think we as people or as women or me just as myself, who I am in this world, that I had to make myself less for someone else to feel more of whatever that thing was.

45:52That's why I say when I was making homecoming, for me to come home and say to my husband, I had a great day. That's a huge statement of the man he is that I feel completely at ease doing that. Do you have a spiritual practice? I do. It sort of ebbs and flows, and sometimes it takes on slightly different forms, but I do, and it's quiet, and it's my little way of having some sanctuary inside of me that I can go to to organize my thoughts. the solution to any conflict is?

46:47You know, it's usually just really trying to see the other person's side or see the other person, what they're going through, that's making them do or say or be something that's creating conflict with who you're trying to be. because it's that expression, there's only two reasons people fight, to be right or to find peace. So I think in any conflict, you need to know right off the bat what your intention is in this conflict. Is it because you want to prove that you are right or you want to create peace or some sense of harmony in this relationship? yeah that was a big big big lesson for me I learned I don't know when I did but it changed my life the the decision to want peace and not to always be right that was major for for me has your life turned out better than you expected absolutely oh my god or as you expected oh beyond wildest dreams dreams never thought to be dreamt yes And you are most grateful for what?

48:07Gosh, every single day that comes my way, I'm grateful for it.

48:17I love what you said earlier about Mike. Living in the dream every day and recognizing it. That's the real gratitude. yeah yeah living in the dream and realizing it really is the dream while you're in it well I he knows the dream he knows the dream I miss you and I love you so much we gotta do something about this so that we don't get caught up on a podcast okay interview for Harper's Bazaar yeah that's why we're both crying about Mike. Oh my gosh. I miss you, Mike. You're so wonderful to do this. Thank you. And I love you so much. Oh, I wanted to do it. All right, honey. We'll catch up, okay?

49:08All right, sweetie. Bye. Thank you. Bye. I'm Oprah Winfrey, and you've been listening to Super Soul Conversations, the podcast. You can follow Super Soul on Instagram, Twitter, and Facebook. If you haven't yet, go to Apple Podcasts and subscribe, rate, and review this podcast. Join me next week for another Super Soul Conversation. Thank you for listening.

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