Julia Roberts: Daring and Vulnerable, Part 1

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0:30Hi, it's Ashley from OWN. I used to think great work was about being in the right headspace. Then I found a TikTok video that made me think about my physical space. An interior designer explored how things like ceiling height and room size might influence how we think. Now I wonder how much of our environment shapes our work without us noticing. Now I'm looking at my workspace asking what kind of thinking I'm making room for. On TikTok, one idea can change how you see something you thought you knew. Your next discovery is waiting on TikTok. I'm Oprah Winfrey. Welcome to Super Soul Conversations, the podcast.

1:06I believe that one of the most valuable gifts you can give yourself is time. Taking time to be more fully present. Your journey to become more inspired and connected to the deeper world around us starts right now. Julia! Oprah! Oh my gosh. How are you? I miss you. I miss you too, honey. I do. Where are you? Mexico? I'm in New Mexico. I'm in our little guest house that I don't think you've seen that Danny built since you were last here long ago. And it's quiet and it's the place where the phone buzzes the least. Wow. Welcome to the podcast. Thank you. Can you believe it? We're podcasting after, I don't know, I was trying to count, add up how many interviews we've done.

2:01I think it's like 18 or 20. Really? That's a lot. That's a lot. I remember when you were, the first time you were on with Tom Hanks, the first, you know, it's incredible. I remember when you were pregnant with, I think it was the twins. Yes. And there's a picture of me that I think is at the Smithsonian now with me holding my hand on your belly. It was so sweet. That's when I first came out. I don't think anybody had seen me sort of in person. I mean, people, not obviously you, friends, but just to kind of be presenting myself in this public way. It's this pregnant person. It was so kind of funny and exciting.

2:42And, you know, I dare I say I was near Giselle that day, I think. Right. which was horrible. But yeah, and now I have those babies are teenagers. I know. It's incredible. And I actually don't know of a more involved, engaged woman who has held the sanctity of having a child and children in a more sacred space than you have. I actually saw you become like a different, more flowered, evolved, open human being with your first. Wow, what a thing to say. Thank you. It's true. You know, it all really started when I met Danny. And you realized you thought you were so clear about the compass of your life.

3:39And then you go, oh, wait, no, there's more. There's more depth. There's other things here. and that was sort of the big jumping off point I think of my interior evolution as a person. Would you say that that's when the trajectory of your life changed? I would say for sure of my personal life which of course has that ripple effect on every aspect of your life but yeah just this incredible sense of really supremely deep fulfillment yeah I can see and feel it in you so we're doing this interview first of all thank you for even thinking of me to do the interview with you after Well, I'm always thinking of you, Oprah.

4:35That's the truth.

4:39So this came about because Harper's Bazaar is doing you on their cover, which I just saw that cover. Have you seen it? No. How is it? How did it turn out? What is the cover? Oh, my gosh. The cover is you hanging off of a cliff, it looks like. You hanging off of a cliff in an evening gown and sneakers. Yeah, that sounds about right about what we did. That sounds about right. How did that happen? I know that their issue, the Harper's Bazaar issue this month is about daring. And so you actually decided you were going to do something daring because you were afraid of heights. That's what I heard. Is that correct?

5:24Well, I am afraid of heights, and it's funny because I've always been afraid of heights. My father was very afraid of heights, and it becomes one of these things that you say about yourself. Oh, I'm left-handed, and I'm afraid of heights. And about seven years ago, Danny and I had been invited on this hike. Hike is a sophomoric way to term what we were invited on. but I'll just say hike. And I thought to myself, gosh, I'm so afraid of heights. And then I thought, am I still afraid of heights? Because I never put myself in that position. So how do I even know? It's just this thing that I say about myself.

6:07Well, I'm happy to confirm for you that I am afraid of heights it was the most harrowing uh maybe seven or eight hours of my physical life and if it had not been for danny truly lovingly talking me through one foot in front of the other i don't know what i would have done because it really it's this thing that takes over your whole body. It's not like, oh, that's scary. That looks so high. It's your throat closing, your body just breaking down. I mean, it's a real thing. So yes, I am afraid of heights. Yes. You know, I was with a friend once. We were in Telluride doing hot air ballooning, and Mary Kay was in, for some crazy reason, had said to me, I'm afraid of heights.

7:05And I go, oh, it's a hot air balloon it's not like you're hanging from a string and in we got up in the air and she starts trembling and says I'm afraid I'm going to jump over I'm afraid I'm going to jump over and I said you're not going to jump over because I'm going to knock you out before you jump over because if you jump over it's going to upset this this this whole balloon basket but anyway that's the first time I I recognize that it's a real thing it's not just oh I'm afraid of heights that I could see somebody trembling and really afraid. So Danny talked you into it? He talked me into it and he talked me through it.

7:44And so we did live to tell the tale, fortunately. And there's a very... See, it's one thing to do it, Julia, period. But to do it in a pink evening gown, to do it in a series. Well, and I was never, you know, of course, they're not going to put me in incredible peril. And, you know, we did things that were just high enough and sort of just scary enough where I could still smile and throw my dress up into the air. Yeah. Yeah. But besides this cover shoot, what do you consider one of the most daring things you've ever done?

8:27I think, you know, I don't know. It's not, I think probably just believing in myself. Well, you know, I've interviewed Brene Brown many times. She's the author of the bestselling Daring Greatly and the famous TED Talk that has millions, millions of views. And Brene says that Daring greatly actually means to have the courage to be vulnerable. So when do you think you are most vulnerable? Does vulnerability come easy for you, or is it something that you push against? Well, it's sort of my job, really, is to be vulnerable almost at all times at work. Yeah. because it's this funny thing where when you do present your performance for whatever it is, the first take or the first performance of a stage play or whatever it is, you're kind of all you're waiting for is the response to it and the response might be positive and encouraging and reassuring.

9:42And it might also be, okay, well, that was terrible. And so really the hard part is the next take or the next performance or the next day to still be able to go into a place of exposing your feelings for what you're doing and showing what you think is the truth of what you're trying to perform and setting aside the risk of failure. So that's probably... You are so good at it. You know, I've known you for so long. And as a friend, it's one of those things that I just sort of not take for granted, but just accept that you are a great actress. but I was just recently watching your new series for Amazon, Homecoming, and your vulnerability just sitting in a chair really makes my eyes water right now.

10:46Your ability to just be so open and giving of yourself and of that art when you're just sitting in a chair. and you're just sitting in a chair listening. The things you do when you're listening, I think, are equally as powerful as when you actually speak in your work. Well, you're giving me butterflies in my stomach. My hands are trembling with joy. Well, and, you know, let me tell you something because, you know, it's one of those funny things where, as actors, we get appreciated on these singular levels. You know, you get handed an award for something that really 117 people put together. And I will say that in Homecoming, enough cannot be said about what I accomplished without saying Stefan James because he was amazing to work with.

11:59He is just a terrific human being. He's so professional. He's so ready. And to just sit and really listen to him and just take in what he was offering me at all times was, you know, I was really halfway there. I just had to really tune in to this young man and what he was bringing to his performance. Wow. He's terrific. Yeah, you both are incredible. So let me just say, what was it about the series, Homecoming, that drew you to this part, this role of Heidi? Were you a fan of the podcast it's based on? I had heard the podcast before it came out. my agent had sent it to me and I listened to it and got so sucked into it I was like what wait what you know they they just each one of them ends on these incredible and it was very well done I thought that the performances were great and just even like the sound production was amazing and a fair amount of time went by, and then I was told that they were going to do it as some kind of a series, which intrigued me.

13:23And then the most intriguing element of all was when they said Sam Esmail, who wanted to talk to me about it. He is Mr. Robot. He is really the... And made the unusual move to write and direct every episode himself. Yes. Well, at my great urging. Because I feel like where I come from in film and theater, you know, there is only one captain. There's only one director. and I had sort of experienced television through Danny, who had done a series for Amazon called The Last Tycoon, which was created by Billy Ray, this incredible writer-director who Danny and I had both worked for in the past, and they had different directors almost every week.

14:19And Matt Bomer, who's a friend who's in that show, and Lily Collins and just sort of hearing a little smattering of not criticism, but just what that takes to gear up each episode with this new person and everybody getting up to speed and everybody understanding everybody. And I just thought, wow, that seems like a lot of work. And for me, the idea of having one person's vision bring it all together, because this is a very complicated story. And there's so many, it's kind of, it's very insidious in a way. You know, it's like something that's coursing underneath. And that sort of intricate building I felt needed one set of hands, really.

15:13And so I had said to Sam the first time that he and I spoke, and I just said, I would really want you to do all these episodes. And he was just sort of like, oh, well, I think, well, for sure do the first one. And then all the weeks after that, he goes, oh, well, because he's super busy with Mr. Robot and he was about to get married and he had all these things going on. And he said, well, let me think about it. And he came back a few weeks later and said that the people at Mr. Robot had graciously created a space for him to be able to do this so that we could do it together in the way that that we both felt would be the most creative and fun and he's just a spectacular uh creative individual I can't imagine having done this with any he's like this happy genius you know I heard he's known for having a very strong unique vision so he's working with a A happy genius makes you happy too, right?

16:14Well, you know how Mike Nichols, you know how, right? Always happy. Mike Nichols. Always. And to work for him and to be his friend, you know, he's always happy. Just to say his name. Positive. It makes you smile. Yes. Yeah. And. You just loved being around him. And, you know, I never, unlike you, remember that time we had that meeting in his apartment? Yes. Yes. I mean. You, me, and you know who. That's still a great idea. It's a great idea. talking about doing a project together, but just the idea of working with him. I mean, I love working around people who are stimulating because it makes you more stimulated.

16:51And he just always found so much joy. I mean, I feel like my experience with him, I saw him as a person who was living his dreams and perfectly aware of it at all times. And that is what I strive for. I mean I think he would sit next to Diane at dinner and think this is the woman of my dreams look at her you know and when you get work this is the place of my dreams to be with these creative people making this project and so I feel that Sam has that same attitude about going to work and being at work and and asking everyone to do their best and then a little bit more than that every single time.

17:38And, you know, I'm going to write that down, living, living the dream and being aware of it at all times. You know, just, just this morning, I was sitting out on the back balcony porch, having breakfast with Stedman, you know, just some boiled eggs and some avocado from the trees. And we were just, and Stedman just said, we're making dreams, babe. We're making dreams and memories right here. I mean, isn't this a moment? And we're literally just looking out at the backyard. But I just thought, yeah, and it's so good that you actually recognize that that's what's happening right now. And it's so nice when somebody says it out loud because it's almost like you don't want to pop the bubble by saying it out loud.

18:21I love that Stedman just said it because then you're able to just fully be saturated in it. And especially when you're working and you can recognize that because it is it's not the the effort that you want people to see you want them to see that it almost is effortless and that all that effort takes place when no one's looking you know yeah that's what I was thinking when I was watching you in the series to the effortlessness of it all it's just I mean that comes from actually being in a good space within yourself don't you think I think it does and I think that for me it was a lot to ask of my family to take this job because it was a longer period of time than I normally work and it required a lot of homework on my part just a lot of dialogue to learn every day every day more and more and more and more and it was relentless in that pursuit and I felt so supported by Danny in a way that was um absolutely my greatest inspiration I thought if I'm going to you know leave all of this in his hands to take care of I better come home with a triumph you know just come home without feeling like I can't say what a great day because I think that happens too where you go off and you work and someone is home and doing the 10 ,000 things that it takes to keep a home going plus their own workload and to feel that you're allowed to come home and say I had a great day and not feel that you should somehow discount your experience because you feel guilty I never felt that did it take you a while to get here because I mean I know you have a new film coming out in December so that took time homecoming took time it looks like you're working more than you did for a period it was just a it was it's chance it was just chance okay that it all kind of happened.

20:37And in a way, I was a little concerned to have these jobs so close together. And now that they're behind me, it was perfect because I just feel like I did a lot of work in this one enormous period of time. And now I finished as summer began, and we had this beautiful family summer, and the kids are getting ready to go back to school, and I'll be in the carpool line.

21:08Okay. And when you were doing this role for Ben is Back, I hear you play a mother dealing with her son's drug addiction, who's played by Lucas Hedges. He was the kid who was nominated for the Academy Award, right, for his role in Manchester by the Sea. Manchester by the Sea, yeah. So was it difficult for you dealing with such a heart-wrenching issue for so many parents? You know, drugs are their biggest fear? Or did you think, I'll never have to go to this space for my own life? Well, for me, the thing that I really liked about this character and this story, the story is, I mean, unfortunately, this is lived out every day, every hour of every day by a family, by a parent, by a child, all over the world.

21:58And especially in our country, the way we mismanage it is, you know, it's one of those rabbit holes that once you go down into it, you just think, wow, how do people find their way through this? And it takes place in 24 hours. and I just feel like this particular mother is in one of those situations that I know many parents, many people find themselves in where it's that constant reevaluation of what is the right thing to do right now for this person. Is it to love them and believe them and hold them close? Is it to not believe them is it to be hard on them is it to be easy on them and it's this constant shift and change of knowing the best thing to do to support in this instance her her son her oldest child so it was uh definitely one of those situations that at all times just trying to manage the idea of her intention and what's the best thing to do.

23:15I mean, it was so incredible, the story, and so interesting to research the story and to read things and hear things. And, you know, I mean, that's where really the Internet is such a great source of people's sharing, where you find all these forums and you find all these articles and things of people that have gone through this. And Lucas did, you know, an interesting thing for Lucas to play my son is that his father wrote and directed this film. And so here I was between these two men and trying to form my individual relationships with each of them. And Lucas and I fell into a very immediate rapport and had a very close relationship and a shorthand and an understanding of each other and a way to support each other that I think was ultimately so invaluable.

24:08He came and stayed with us for a while. He spent Thanksgiving with us, got to know Danny and the kids really well all before we started shooting, which I felt was important for my kids to know who I was going off to pretend to be their mother. Oh, interesting. Well, Henry had said to me, So, Mom, why in movies when you go play somebody's mom, why is it always a boy? Hi, it's Ashley from OWN. So I was looking in the mirror recently and I thought, hmm, my skin used to look better than it does today. I've got to make some changes. I am a skincare fanatic and I'm so happy I discovered GU. Making sure my skin stays clean and moisturized is the key to maintaining my glow.

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26:45interesting because of course yeah I have you know wonder I have a daughter it's mainly the story about the Sun and in Venice back I have other kids but it's mainly the story about me about the Sun and I said why I don't know I said but you know you know what Lucas we're gonna have Lucas come over and you guys are gonna meet him and Lucas came over Catherine Newton beautiful Catherine Newton, she plays my older daughter, she came and I would just send them and my kids down to the beach, go for a swim and I'll see you guys in an hour and I'll have lunch ready. So that brings me to what do those, what do your children think of you as Julia Roberts, the actress?

27:25Because you have been such a hands-on, you know, mother in their lives, in every aspect of their lives. I've witnessed it for myself. So when they finally, do you remember when they finally first realized that you were Julia Roberts, America's beloved sweetheart, actress, I don't think they ever will have a true sense of that because just like me, my sense of myself comes so far before the kind of work sense that people have of me. And of course for them, I'm just their mom as loving and probably annoying as every other mom long before they even realize what I do for work. So I mean, I really can't know the full grasp that they have.

28:25I mean, I think I told you once when it was this kind of thing when they were starting to kind of figure it out And it was like, so you're famous. You're famous? Well, I mean, yeah, I think a lot of people probably, you know, might have seen a movie that I'm in or might know who I am. Huh. And then maybe an hour goes by. Are you more famous than Taylor Swift? It's like trying to, you know, in their mind, figure the measurement for what does this mean. And I think ultimately it's like, okay, I don't really know what it all means. We're just going to keep moving on the way we've been going. So what of your movies have they seen other than Wonder?

29:12They have seen not much. They've seen Hook. They've seen Aunt Bully, which is animated. Charlotte's Web, which was a little boy. Oh, and you were in Charlotte's Web, too. Yep. not a lot of things that's it not a lot of things we did start watching um I don't know why we oh the Mexican I think was on tv and we were looking for something to watch and so we stopped just nostalgically Danny and I were like oh god you know I think it was just starting and it was not long into it that Henry goes um I don't think I like that people are crazy things are going on and it was like yeah this is bad parenting right now we just need to to come off of this but it's um do you imagine a day where you all sit down as a family and watch pretty woman

30:10um no i imagine a day that we all sit down and maybe watch my best friend's wedding or not. Steel Magnolias. Steel Magnolias. Oh my God, yes. We could do that. You could do that. But then it's also funny for me to say, hey guys, no, we should watch tonight. A movie with mom in it. Yeah, it's kind of funny. um so do you believe that um your unconditional love will be enough to carry your children into the world that we live in today

30:57well anybody's i mean yeah it is a i mean remember when we were kids and you know people would say it's a big bad word out there you got to be careful you know and now it's like it really is a big bad world out there and i think if i can just be part of a family that our love and our closeness keep the five of us in a place of being undaunted by the bleakness that you have to keep moving forward in love and kindness and hope that if we can keep that engine of the five of us going then that will be the great accomplishment of our family love because I think that has to be the daily goal yep that has to be the daily goal that you all have sort of as a family mission right is there an unspoken family mission or vision that you all have for your family well you know I think for Danny and I especially because now it's like being a parent in a world that wasn't our world when we were their age it's different than when i might have said to my mom like oh mom you don't know what it's like to be a teenager today and even though probably didn't she probably did but danny and i because the world wasn't that much different yeah so we really don't know what it's like to be a teenager today we really don't so we don't it's you know you try to be open you try I mean sometimes I'll just go to him and say I keep saying no to so many things to the point where I don't know why I'm saying no except to say no except because I don't really know what they're talking about and so sometimes I just say to them I'm gonna say no and I'm gonna look into it because I don't even know what we're talking about so do they have phones yet okay Henry's 11 so no so how what was the age they were allowed to have phones well there was a school kind of requirement about phones and about having you know these devices to be able to communicate with teachers in a way and access schedules in a way that I wasn't really so so you all didn't have to so that got answered for you I know for a lot of parents I know somebody right now going through their daughters turning 12 and they're like we want to hold on to 13 I don't know if the and and you know since I don't have this as an issue I don't know if the age number is a thing or the maturity level of the child is what should be taken into and also So I was saying to these other friends that when you hold out so long, then your child becomes completely ostracized because your child is the one child that doesn't have a phone.

34:16Yeah. Well, there are times where Hazel and I will be talking about an issue of a 21st century teenager, and she'll say, but mom, I don't know why this isn't allowed when I know that you trust me and that I am trustworthy. And I say it is not a matter of trust within you, within this household. It's about everybody else out there. It's like driving a car. You know, you can be an exemplary driver, but it's about everybody else driving a car. And I feel like it's the same with, you know, social media and phones and all these things. it just becomes very as long it just has to be a constant and open conversation and okay so here's the thing how do you manage you know I just you know I lived in the tabloid Stedman and I for so many years and it was hard on his family members and some of my family members I couldn't imagine if we had children and every other week, you know, there's some story about him leaving me, me getting dumped, me leaving him.

35:34I mean, all the time. And I know you have experienced the same thing. Are you all able to keep that away from your kids? I mean, if I see again, you know, I think I've seen 97 times that you and Danny Motor are splitting. Are you able to keep that from your kids? For the most part, I mean, sometimes we are in the grocery store and I won't even know that something is out and we'll all be standing there like, oh, that's uncomfortable. This is really uncomfortable. But it's one of those things that it still can hurt my feelings only because I'm so proud of my marriage. I'm so proud of how much fun we have and how much joy we put into it.

36:23And, you know, we just celebrated being married for 16 years this Fourth of July, and there's just so much happiness wrapped up in what we have found together that it's such an insult to that when they just put us through the, you know, the relationship mill of he's leaving me he's dumped me he's found somebody else or you know the i what i like is when they write the 150 million dollar divorce and then a week later a different tabloid says 275 million dollar divorce i'm like well somebody got a paycheck in the last week this is good you know um but and they do i mean hazel's asked me a couple of things and what it feels like.

37:12And it's an interesting conversation to have with someone who only has love for you and only has the best interest of their parents at heart and says, what is that feeling like? So what have you told them? What have you told them? What do you actually say to them? Like people make up stories? Yeah, that it's, I mean, for the most part in my experience of those stories, they are 98.9 % fictitious. So names are right. Maybe some of the places are right. But that it's kind of this, I guess I've likened it to when they come home from school, how was your day, and the first story you tell is a story of something negative that happened.

38:01and that grabs the attention and the interest of your mind and I feel like these things are the same things they're the negative concepts of people's relationships and lives and it's sort of a sport a very unkind sport and um you know people see it as a type of folly and the interest of people's feelings are beside the point. Yeah. Well, I know. It was so hurtful to me for so many years. I can't even, I don't even know when I actually got over it. Maya used to say to me all the time, you're not in it, you're not in it, that the person who sits down to write the story isn't even thinking about you, your heart, your feelings.

38:49They don't know you. It has nothing to do with you. It has to do with, you know, what can sell. Even knowing that, it still was hurtful to me. And you're so right that there would be one kernel of truth. I remember there was this story about supposedly Stevan and I had this big brawl, big fight, and he left me, and I'd stormed off, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, in my father's barbershop in Nashville. And the only thing that was true was that I was in my father's barbershop in Nashville. Right. Yep. You know? so yeah it's it's so funny the way the the world works but that that does still exist i mean it's just incredible so steadman and i going to visit my father at his barber shop in nashville obviously not a good enough story but you know so i i i empathize and you know offer you my you know highest regards for the way you've managed to handle it because it's not pleasant and certainly not easy with children.

39:53Well, and so much of it is learning just to put your energy someplace else. I mean, I really, I don't, I don't like it brought to my attention. My friends would never say, oh my God, I was in the grocery this morning and saw, you know, blah, blah, blah, headline. They would just never do that because I don't need it in my, my orbit. Yeah, but I love what you said earlier about how proud you are of your marriage and how proud you are of what you've been able to create with your family. And, you know, as you were saying that, I was thinking, now that could be, that would be worthy of a story every week, because that's really what people want to know is how do you do that?

40:40How do you do that? How do you have the inner workings of your life and your family with the fame and attention that you obviously earned and managed to stay so effortlessly real? That's a story worth hearing. But would people want to hear that? I think, I mean, sitting at dinner with you and Gail and Diane and, you know, yeah, I would, you know, but I just don't think it holds, you know, there's too much, there's too much content, first of all. There's just too much truth and weight and content of that kind of a conversation as opposed to the kind of cotton candy, weightless, pointless destruction, breakup.

41:40I mean, the thing is, Danny Motor. You know what? Yeah. Go ahead. No, you go ahead. uh you're mentioning danny motor so i have to stop well because the thing about it is is that he is he is a grown-up man who has married someone that he has never at any moment gotten frustrated with me for being who i am in the world because it's not like i can control it and so anything that happens happens to us it doesn't happen to him which i don't know how i don't know how he i mean now you know we're kind of the old married couple we really don't get picked on by the tabloids that much but it's um you know back in the day when we did he just had so much depth to who he was.

42:40He was so sure of who he was that to be, you know, he just never got caught up in that frustration. And that was a great lesson to me and really quelled my frustration and my acknowledgement of it at all, where we just... Means you chose well. Means you You chose well. You know, we watched you go through your, you know, various relationships. And then when that finally landed, I mean, the moment I saw Danny Mulder, I knew. I just, and you know, we always have to say Danny Mulder. Danny Mulder. What is the number one quality you've taught your children that you can see they've learned?

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44:29I think we have really taught them that they are safe, that they're in a safe space in this family. and we really do share and talk about things and that the truth is really the most ultimate thing you can accomplish in sharing and learning and growing as a person. It's just being really honest, honest about what you know, honest about what you don't know, and truthful at all times. And I think that they really, all three of them have really beautiful characters and compassion and empathy. And I think Danny and I both are very clear about the fact that while we are their parents, the five of us are all teaching each other things all the time.

45:34It's not just the one-way street from the grown-up to the younger. it's really, I mean, sometimes each one of them have done things or said things or observed things and shared it where I just think, wow, where was I? I did not even see this happening. It's so illuminating and just the amount of wonder that kind of surrounds a young mind that's shaping and that's constantly sort of tabulating the world around them. It's really fascinating to be a part of.

46:11Well, well done to you and Danny Motor in the raising of those beautiful children. Well done, because, you know, that doesn't happen by itself. It doesn't. They get to be those kind of people because that is reflected to them as little people in the world. And I've seen you do it. I've seen you do it. I remember coming when you were in Chicago, you'd done the show, and then I came back to the hotel, and there in the middle of the Four Seasons or Ritz-Carlton or wherever it was, there was this big sheet tent where the kids had made. Remember that? And there's and I just I mean, I stood back and watched that because I just thought there's not a moment where they are in your presence where they don't know that they are also important no matter what else is going on in the world.

47:07and you know having been with so many girls at my school and you know having about 20 of them now as regular daughter girls who come to the house and are here all the time and Thanksgiving dinners and stuff I know that instilling a sense of worthiness is the most important thing you can give to your children them growing up feeling seen heard believed valued safe as you say that that's the gift and that's because you and danny were able to do that well and we all want to feel that way that's yeah that's what everybody wants you know it's it's like i remember saying to a girlfriend one time it's like i don't know why we hold our children to a higher standard than we hold ourselves i don't want to eat broccoli every day i don't i don't want to you know i don't want to always you know be left with an hour of sort of quiet time in a book like why do i think that they want to do that every day and so i think having those sort of realizations that we really we all want the same things we want to as you say be seen we want to be heard we want to feel that we're loved we want to feel that we're useful in this place that we live with these other people it's so important that we all have a man and you know what I know I know this is what I know for sure the world is screwed up in direct proportion to how people don't feel that all the craziness that we see that's being shown to us in every area of our society is because somebody didn't get that it gets so it gets so hard to understand sometimes it gets so hard to understand when i think about the things that keep me awake at night and that i'm scared of i think how is this even part of our humanity that these are the kinds of things that we're scared of here comes finn motor hi Hi, babe.

49:06How are you? I'm talking to Oprah. Hi, Finn Motor. She said that's awesome. She said hi, Finn Motor. Our conversation will continue in the next episode. You can listen by downloading Part 2. I'm Oprah Winfrey, and you've been listening to Super Soul Conversations, the podcast. You can follow Super Soul on Instagram, Twitter, and Facebook. If you haven't yet, go to Apple Podcasts and subscribe, rate, and review this podcast. Join me next week for another Super Soul Conversation. Thank you for listening.