4 Inspiring Ways to Live Out Loud w/John R. Miles EP 498

0:00Coming up next on PassionStruck. Mark Nepo once said, One of the most important things that we can do is to let each other know that we are here and that our voice matters. What does it mean to live out loud? It's not just about using your voice. It's about expressing your true, authentic self. Living without fear, embracing who you are, and making intentional choices every day. In this episode, I'll explore why reclaiming your voice matters. for your personal growth, for society, and even how science shows us that living authentically transforms our brains and our lives. Ready to live out loud?

0:35Don't miss this empowering conversation. Welcome to Passion Struck. Hi, I'm your host, John R. Miles, and on the show, we decipher the secrets, tips, and guidance of the world's most inspiring people and turn their wisdom into practical advice for you and those around you. Our mission is to help you unlock the power of intentionality so that you can become the best version of yourself. If you're new to the show, I offer advice and answer listener questions on Fridays. We have long form interviews the rest of the week with guests ranging from astronauts to authors, CEOs, creators, innovators, scientists, military leaders, visionaries and athletes.

1:17Now let's go out there and become passion struck. Hello, everyone, and welcome back to episode 498 of PassionStruck. A heartfelt thank you to each and every one of you who come back to the show every single week eager to listen, learn, and discover new ways to live better, to be better, and most importantly, to make a meaningful difference in the world. If you're new to the show, thank you so much for being here. Or you simply want to introduce this to a friend or a family member, and we so appreciate it when you do that. We have episode starter packs, which are collections of our fans' favorite episodes that we organize in a convenient playlist that give any new listener a great way to get acclimated to everything we do here on the show.

1:52Either go to Spotify or passionstruck.com slash starter packs to get started. In case you missed my episodes from earlier in the week, I had intriguing conversations with Hala Taha and Michael McCourt. Hala is the host of the Young and Profiting Podcast and a powerhouse entrepreneur. Tune in as we go into our journey from corporate ladder climber to media mogul and discover the secrets behind her success. Get ready for an episode that's packed with insights on hustling with purpose, building your brand, the secrets to success on LinkedIn and living life on your own terms. Don't miss it. Michael McCourt is the CEO of EpiOne and the post-chair of the American Cancer Society.

2:31He's also a visionary in the fight against cancer. From his roots in West Berlin to leading groundbreaking innovations in early cancer detection, Michael's journey is one of resilience, personal loss, and unwavering dedication. Discover how his mission to revolutionize cancer diagnostics is making a profound impact in so many people's lives. And if you liked either of those episodes or my solo episode today, we would so appreciate you giving it a five-star rating and review. These are so important because they bring more people into the PassionStruck community where we can help people live lives that truly matter.

3:04And to that end, let me recognize a listener who put in a review this week. Elena Lopez writes, I have really enjoyed this podcast and finding it so informative and applicable. Almost every episode makes me want to share it with my friends and family so that they can learn these important things too. Thank you so much, John. Alina, thank you so much for being a regular listener and most importantly, for that incredible review. Before we dive into today's Momentum Friday episode, I have some exciting news to share with you about my book, Passion Struck, which won Best Business Book as well as Best E-Book at the International Business Awards.

3:39The IBAs known as the Stevie Awards are the world's most premier business awards program, drawing entries from 62 nations and territories. For context, the Stevies are like the Oscars in the business world, celebrating outstanding achievements on an international scale, and we were so humbled to receive those two Stevies. It was such an unexpected surprise. In addition to that, the book hit number one on Amazon in multiple categories, as well as hitting number seven overall on the book charts, making it an international bestseller. Lastly, I also learned that the book won gold medal at the Global Book Awards in the category of business life and silver medal in the category of self-help.

4:22Thank you so much for all your support and for purchasing the book and all these accolades. For a very limited time, the book is still 99 cents. It won't last long, so go buy your copy today. Now, let's talk about today's episode. There's no greater agony than bearing an untold story inside you. These powerful words from Maya Angelou speak to the deep, often painful experience of being unable to express who we truly are. For many of us, the fear of judgment, rejection, or failure causes us to keep our true selves hidden, muffling the voice inside that wants to be heard. But what happens when we decide to live differently?

5:01What happens when we choose to live out loud? Living out loud is summoning the courage to break free from the constraints of fear, shame, and societal expectations. It's about letting our voice, our authentic self, be fully known and expressed in the world. Whether through spoken words, creative endeavors, or how we live our lives, it's a bold affirmation that we matter, that our perspectives and stories hold value. Maya Angelou's life is a testament to this power. Having endured personal trauma and silence as a child, she emerged as one of the most powerful voices of the 20th century. Using her words to inspire, heal, and lead.

5:41In her journey, we find important lessons on how to reclaim our voices, live authentically, and make an impact. In today's episode, I'll explore the process of finding and using your voice through the lens of Angelo's remarkable life. We'll delve into the psychology and science behind why so many of us lose our voices, and what we can do to start living out loud again. Thank you for choosing PassionStruck and choosing me to be your host and guide on your journey to creating an intentional life. Now, let that journey begin.

6:18Maya Angelou's journey to becoming one of the most influential voices of the 20th century began with a profound silence. At the tender age of seven, she experienced a traumatic event that would change her life. After being sexually abused by her mother's boyfriend, Angelo told her family what had happened. Shortly after, the man was killed, an act of vengeance that left Maya feeling burdened with the unbearable guilt. In her young mind, she believed her words caused his death. Convinced that her voice held destructive power, Maya stopped speaking altogether, believing that withholding her voice could prevent more harm.

6:54This self-imposed silence lasted for nearly five years as she withdrew into a world where words were dangerous and better left unspoken. This period of silence was not just an external quieting. It was the internal repression of her identity and emotions. Angelo's muteness is a powerful metaphor for how many of us, after experiencing rejection, fear, or trauma, suppress our own voices in an attempt to avoid further pain. We silence our thoughts, emotions, and truths, convinced that doing so will protect us or those that we love. In Angelo's case, her silence became a shield against a world that felt dangerous and unpredictable.

7:34But like so many others who quiet themselves in the face of pain, her silence also became a prison, locking away not just her voice, but her sense of self. She lived as a caged bird, her voice stifled by fear and shame. Yet, Angelo's story does not end with her silence. The journey back to her voice was gradual and required the intervention of a loving and wise mentor. Mrs. Bertha Flowers, a family friend, saw the brilliance in young Maya even through her silence. She introduced her to the world of literature, encouraging her to read aloud and connect with the beauty and rhythm of language. It was through books and poetry that Angelou began to find her way out of the darkness.

8:16The words of Shakespeare, Dickens, and black poets like Paul Lawrence Dunbar sparked something within her, an understanding that her voice, when used with intention, was not a weapon of destruction, but a tool for healing. Slowly, she began to speak again, realizing that the power of her voice was not in causing harm, but in expressing truth. As she spoke, she came to understand that her voice, far from being destructive, was a tool for healing, not just for herself, but for others as well. Writing became a form of self-expression, and through it, she was able to fully emerge from the silence that had once imprisoned her.

8:55As Maya Angelou grew, so did her understanding of the power of words. She eventually channeled her life experiences into writing, becoming one of the most celebrated voices of the 20th century. Her first autobiography, I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings, was a groundbreaking work that openly explored her traumatized childhood and her journey to reclaim her voice. It resonated deeply with readers, particularly those who had felt the weight of oppression or personal hardship. Through her writing, Angelo gave a voice to those who had been silenced by trauma, racism, or societal constraints. She continued to speak out for justice and equality, becoming a leading figure in the civil rights movement and a poet whose words inspired action and reflection, impacting the world for good.

9:42So now that we've gone through Maya Angelou's story, let's go into the science of silence. Why we end up losing our voices. Maya Angelou's years of silence after her traumatic experiences reflect not only her personal journey, but a broader universal struggle that many of us face. While our experiences may not be as extreme, the act of quieting our voice occurs in various forms and for different reasons. Whether it's due to societal expectations, the fear of rejection, or the weight of personal trauma, we learn to suppress our authentic selves. But what happens to us when this silence takes over?

10:20And why do so many of us, like Angelo, feel driven to hide our true voices, exploring the psychology and neuroscience. Behind this loss can guide us on the path to reclaiming our voices. From an early age, we are often conditioned by society, family, and educational systems that suppress our authentic selves. Much like Maya Angelou, who was silenced by the trauma of abuse, children are commonly taught that conformity is more important than expression. In schools, we are rewarded for compliance and punished for deviation from the norm, families may reinforce these expectations by encouraging behavior that maintains harmony and discourages individuality.

11:01This early life conditioning shapes our behavior and pushes us to quiet our true selves to fit in. In behavioral psychology, this process is explained by B.F. Skinner's theory of operant conditioning, where behaviors are shaped through reinforcement and punishment. Positive reinforcement encourages behavior that conforms to societal standards, while negative reinforcement discourages nonconformity. Over time, this social conditioning leads many to internalize the belief that their true voice is either unacceptable or irrelevant. The result? A deep-seated tendency to hide our authentic thoughts, emotions, and desires.

11:39Psychologists like Carl Rogers, who championed the concept of self-actualization, have noted how these suppressive forces create a conflict between our real self and our ideal self, shaped by societal expectations, leading to alienation from our authentic selves. Trauma also plays a significant role in silencing our voice, as seen in Angelo's experience. When traumatic events occur, they disrupt our cognitive and emotional systems, often resulting in a retreat into silence as a form of protection. Psychologist Judith Herman, in her work on trauma recovery, describes how survivors of trauma frequently withdraw from the world as a way to manage the overwhelming feelings of fear, shame, or guilt.

12:24In Angelo's case, the belief that her voice had caused harm led her to stop speaking entirely, a classic example of trauma's ability to override normal functioning and enforce silence. Neuroscience provides further insight into ways that trauma affects the brain. The amygdala, which is responsible for processing fear triggers the fight-or-flight response when danger is perceived. In the case of trauma, this response can be heightened, causing individuals to retreat inward and silence their voice in an attempt to protect themselves from further harm. Angelo's prolonged silence can be understood as her brain's survival mechanism, shielding her from the emotional pain of reliving the trauma that she had experienced.

13:08Many individuals experience a similar reaction to emotional wounds, silencing themselves as a way to avoid future danger or hurt. Shame is also a powerful force that often keeps us from expressing our true selves. Renee Brown, a leading researcher on shame and vulnerability, describes shame as the deeply ingrained belief that we are unworthy of love and belonging. This feeling convinces us that our true selves are not good enough, leading us to suppress our voices to avoid rejection or judgment. For Angelo, shame and guilt were deeply intertwined with her silence. She believed her voice had caused harm, and this overwhelming sense of responsibility kept her quiet.

13:51Many people, like Angelo, remain silent out of fear of being judged or being misunderstood. This often leads to self-censorship, where individuals suppress their thoughts, opinions, and emotions, preventing them from living life authentically. Renowned psychologist Albert Ellis posited that, irrational beliefs about self-worth and the fear of judgment can drive this kind of internal conflict, ultimately leading to the chronic suppression of one's voice. When we continually suppress our voices, the psychological toll can be immense. Social anxiety, depression, and feelings of invisibility often result from long-term emotional suppression.

14:32Clinical psychologist James Pennebaker's research on emotional suppression suggests that keeping feelings unspoken can lead to both psychological and physical health problems. The act of silencing oneself often leads to isolation as individuals began to feel that they are unseen, unheard, and unimportant to the world around them. In Angelo's case, the internalization of her trauma and guilt led to prolonged silence, but it also became a catalyst for her eventual awakening. The same holds true for many of us. When we suppress our voices for too long, the tension within often builds to a breaking point.

15:11For Angelo, the breaking point came when she reconnected with literature and mentors who encouraged her to express herself. Her silence and initial response to trauma ultimately gave way to powerful self-expression that would define the rest of her life. Angelo's experience reflects the universal journey many of us must take to rediscover our voices. The psychology behind why we lose our voices, whether through societal pressure, trauma, shame, or societal anxiety, offers important insights into the forces that silence us. Psychologists like Carl Jung have emphasized the importance of individuation, the process of becoming one's true self through intentional healing, self-compassion, and courage.

15:55But as Angelo's life also shows, reclaiming our voice is not only possible, it's vital. To live out loud is to defy the forces that seek to quiet us, to step into our truth, and to affirm that our voices matter. Maya Angelou's journey to reclaiming her voice began with an essential and often overlooked process, self-acceptance, and self-love. After years of silence, Angelo began to realize that her voice was not a weapon of destruction, but a tool for healing and empowerment. This realization marked a pivotal moment in her life when she began to realize that she was not the cause of harm, but a person who could profoundly influence change.

16:36Through self-love, she redefined her relationship with her voice, learning to view it as an integral part of her identity and a means of positively contributing to the world. Loving oneself, as Angelo did, is crucial to the journey of living intentionally and loudly. When we cultivate self-compassion, we create a foundation that allows us to overcome the silence imposed by fear, shame, or societal pressures. According to psychologist Kristen Neff, self-compassion involves treating ourselves with the same kindness and understanding that we would offer to a close friend. It's this compassion that Angelo embraced, allowing her to forgive herself, let go of guilt, and begin to use her voice without fear.

17:20In episode 131 of this podcast, I shared the courageous story of Sam Burns, using it to highlight the fact that accepting yourself is the key to creating your best life. By accepting yourself fully, you will begin to unlock the power to speak your truth and live your authentic life, ultimately inspiring others to do the same. For Angelo, creative expression was a lifeline that helped her reconnect with her inner voice. Writing, poetry, and public speaking became the outlets through which she could explore and articulate her thoughts, feelings, and experiences. Her autobiography, I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings, was a personal catharsis and a bold declaration of her reclaimed voice.

18:00Through her writing, Angelo was able to express the pain of her past, the resilience that she discovered, and the hope that she held for the future. The act of creation became a powerful form of self-expression that ultimately allowed her to live out loud. Creative expression is more than just an emotional outlet. It's deeply rooted in the science of how our brains work. Engaging in creative activities, whether through writing, art, or music, activates the brain's reward system, releasing dopamine, and fostering a sense of well-being and resilience. Studies in neuropsychology have shown that creativity can enhance emotional processing, improve mood, and even build psychological resilience against stress.

18:43For Angelo, creativity was not just a means of expression, but a pathway to healing and empowerment, helping her to transform her silence into a powerful, articulate voice. Throughout her later life, Angelo demonstrated the unwavering commitment to speaking truth to power, even in the face of fear and societal pressure. Her activism during the Civil Rights Movement and her eloquent poetry were acts of living out loud, using her voice to challenge injustice and to inspire change. One of the most iconic moments of her public life was reciting the poem On the Pulse of Mourning at President Bill Clinton's inauguration in 1993.

19:22This moment was a literary triumph and a powerful statement of resilience, courage, and the enduring importance of using one's voice to advocate for truth and justice. Living out loud as Angelo did means confronting and overcoming the fears that keep us silent. It requires us to speak our truth, even when it's uncomfortable or controversial. Angelo's life teaches us that our voices are powerful tools for change, capable of influencing our lives and the world around us. By embracing her voice and using it fearlessly, she became a beacon of hope and inspiration for countless others, showing that living out loud is not just a personal victory, but a transformative act that can echo across generations.

20:08As Maya Angelou exemplified, living out loud is about actively reclaiming your voice and expressing your authentic self. It's a practice that requires intentionality, courage, and consistency. The following steps can help you to build the habit of living out loud, providing actionable strategies to integrate into your daily life. The first step to living out loud is to develop self-awareness. Maya Angelou used writing and reflection to reconnect with herself, and you can follow a similar path to uncover your true voice. The more aware that you are of your thoughts, emotions, and values, the easier it becomes to express them authentically.

20:46So what are some steps that you can use to practice self-awareness? The first is journaling. Set aside 10 to 15 minutes each day to write freely. Focus on what you're feeling, the challenges that you face, or the things that inspire you. Over time, you'll start to notice patterns, revealing areas where you may be suppressing your voice. Use journaling as a way to process emotions and identify what truly matters to you. Next, meditation. Dedicate at first just five minutes a day to mindful meditation. Sit quietly, close your eyes, and focus on your breath. When thoughts arise, observe them without judgment.

21:23This practice helps you become more present with your emotions, making it easier to recognize where fear or self-doubt might be holding you back. Third, if you're struggling to reconnect with your voice, working with a therapist can be invaluable. A trained therapist can help you dig deeper into past experiences or emotional blocks and provide tools to overcome them. Once you've developed a habit of reflection, start practicing mindful speaking. The act of consciously using your voice in everyday situations. Angelo gradually regained her voice after years of silence. And you can do the same by starting small and building confidence over time.

22:01So here's how you can start practicing mindful speaking. Begin by expressing your opinions in low-stakes situations. This could be in casual conversations with friends or colleagues. The key is to practice speaking up in moments where you would typically stay silent. Second, practice asserting yourself by setting small boundaries in your personal and professional life. This could be just saying no to a request that overextends you or expressing a need to those around you. You can also reinforce your confidence by using daily affirmations. Statements like, my voice matters, or I have the right to be heard, help to shift your mindset from fear to empowerment.

22:40Affirmations can be repeated in the morning, before a difficult conversation, or anytime you feel self-doubt creeping in. Third, creative expression is one of the safest and most powerful tools that you can use to rediscover your voice. Angelo's journey back to herself began with writing, and creative outlets provided a space where you can express thoughts and emotions that may feel difficult to verbalize. So how do you engage with creative expression? First, choose a form of creative expression that resonates with you, whether it's writing, drawing, painting, playing music, even cooking. The goal is to find a medium that allows you to express yourself without judgment.

23:20Second, schedule regular creative time, even if it's just 20 minutes a few times a week. Treat this as a non-negotiable part of your week, moments dedicated to solely exploring your inner voice. And then, it's so vital to share your creations with trusted friends or a community. Sharing your creative expressions can help you build confidence in using your voice publicly, much like Angelo did with poetry and books. And then fourth, reclaiming your voice is much easier when you have a support system that encourages you. Maya Angelou had mentors who recognized her potential and encouraged her to speak.

23:56Surrounding yourself with people who respect your voice and help you grow is essential to living out loud. So what are some steps that you can take to build a supportive network? The first is to take stock of the people in your life. This is something I go into in my book where I call it the mosquito principle. Who uplifts you? Who listens to you without judgment? Focus on building deeper relationships with these individuals. Second, don't be afraid to ask for encouragement when you need it. Share your goals with trusted friends or with family members and ask them for their support in helping you use your voice more freely.

24:31Third, seek out communities where authentic expression is encouraged, whether it's a creative group, Toastmasters, an improv class, a book club, or an online space where they focus on personal growth. By intentionally incorporating self-awareness, mindful speaking, creative expression, and building a supportive network, you can begin to reclaim your voice and live out loud. These actionable steps, inspired by Maya Angelou's story, offer a clear path to expressing your authentic self in everyday life. Through consistent practice and reflection, you'll build the confidence and resilience to use your voice powerfully and fearlessly.

25:10Living out loud, as Maya Angelou did, brings a profound sense of personal fulfillment. When you reclaim your voice and live authentically, you unlock a deep well of confidence and joy that permeates every aspect of your life. Angelo's journey from silence to one of the most influential voices of her time exemplifies the transformative power of authenticity. As she found her voice, she not only healed from her past, but also connected more deeply with the world around her. This connection fueled her ability to uplift, inspire, and advocate for others, enriching her life with purpose and meaning.

25:48Angelo's later years spent as a celebrated poet, author, and civil rights activist were marked by a vibrant, intentional life. She was passion struck. She lived fearlessly, embracing the power of her words to affect change and to inspire millions. Her life shows that by living authentically, we not only enhance our lives, but also have the opportunity to make a lasting impact on the world. Maya Angelou's journey from silence to a powerful voice in literature and activism might seem distant to those who haven't faced similar trauma. But the essence of her story, the resilience, the search for identity, the courage to speak out, is something that we can all relate to.