Growing Your Career: Why we choke under pressure -- and how to avoid it | Sian Leah Beilock

0:00With no fees or minimums on checking accounts, it's no wonder the Capital One bank guy is so passionate about banking with Capital One. If he were here, he wouldn't just tell you about no fees or minimums. He'd also talk about how most Capital One cafes are open seven days a week to assist with your banking needs. Yep, even on weekends, it's pretty much all he talks about. In a good way. What's in your wallet? Terms apply. See CapitalOne.com slash bank. Capital One N.A. Member FDIC.

0:33This episode is brought to you by LinkedIn. Running a small business means every hire matters. A bad hire can cost you time, money, and momentum. A good hire, they can help grow your business. But finding great talent isn't easy, especially when you don't have the time or resources to sift through piles of resumes to find the right fit. That's why LinkedIn built HiringPro, your new hiring partner that screens candidates for you, so instead of sorting through applications, you can spend your time talking to candidates who are actually a good fit. With HiringPro, you can hire with confidence knowing you're getting the best talent for your business.

1:16In fact, according to LinkedIn, those hiring with LinkedIn are 24 % less likely to need to reopen a role within 12 months compared to the leading competitor. Join the 2.7 million small businesses using LinkedIn to hire. Get started by posting your job for free at linkedin.com slash tedbiz, spelled B-I-Z. Terms and conditions apply. This episode is brought to you by Parloa. Look, most businesses want their customers to feel heard, not stuck waiting around for someone who can help. Nothing makes you feel less important than sitting on hold for hours, explaining the same problem to the fifth person who picks up.

2:02But here's the thing. The bigger you get, the harder it becomes to show up the way you want to in each customer interaction. Parloa solves that problem. Their voice-first AI agents handle customer conversations in a way that feels natural, personal, and helpful. They work 24-7 across voice, chat, and email in any language with zero wait time. Plus, your team gets access to features like Lens, which flags issues in real time, and Navigator, which figures out why those issues are happening and what to do next. It's secure, scalable, and built to serve the customer. When AI works well, it shouldn't feel like AI.

2:47Unhold your customers with Parloa. Learn more at parloa.com. That's P-A-R-L-O-A dot com. Hey, listeners. We're dropping another playlist this month, and this one is for anyone who's on the job market right now. Making a career change is never easy, but I think a lot of us are finding it especially hard at this moment because it can feel so impersonal. There are more AI screenings, more trying to connect over Zoom. it's like the human part of the process is slowly getting filtered out. That's where these talks come in. I've picked out a lineup full of tricks and tips to help you stay calm, stay true to yourself, and advocate for what you want and need.

3:32The job hunt can be opaque, overwhelming, and anonymizing. So let's shed some light on it together.

3:43there. One of the most humiliating things that you can say about someone is they choked. And boy, do I know that feeling. Growing up, I was an avid athlete. My main sport was soccer, and I was a goalkeeper, which is both the best and the worst position on the field. You see, when you're a goalie, you get this special uniform. You get all the glory for a great shot saved. But you also get the grief when you land a shot in the goal. When you're a goalie, all eyes are on you, and with that comes the pressure. I distinctly remember one game in high school. I was playing for the California State team, which is part of the Olympic development program.

4:35I was having a great game until I realized that the national coach was standing right behind me. That's when everything changed. In a matter of seconds, I went from playing at the top to the bottom of my ability. just knowing that I was being evaluated changed my performance and forever how I thought about the mental aspect of how we perform. All of a sudden, the ball seemed to go in slow motion, and I was fixated on my every move. The next shot that came, I bobbled, but thankfully it didn't land in the goal. The shot after that, I wasn't so lucky. I tipped it right into the net. My team lost.

5:30The national coach walked away. I choked under the pressure of those evaluative eyes on me. Just about everyone does it from time to time. There's so many opportunities, whether it's taking a test, giving a talk, pitching to a client, or that special form of torture I like to call the job interview. But the question is why. Why do we sometimes fail to perform up to our potential under pressure? It's especially bewildering in the case of athletes who spend so much time physically honing their craft. But what about their minds? Not as much. This is true off the playing field as well. Whether we're taking a test or giving a talk, it's easy to feel like we're ready at the top of our game and then perform at our worst when it matters most.

6:31It turns out that rarely do we practice under the types of conditions we're actually going to perform under. And as a result, when all eyes are on us, we sometimes flub our performance. Of course, the question is, why is this the case? And my experience on the playing field and in other important facets of my life really pushed me into the field of cognitive science. I wanted to know how we could reach our limitless potential. I wanted to understand how we could use our knowledge of the mind and the brain to come up with psychological tools that would help us perform at our best. So why does it happen?

7:16Why do we sometimes fail to perform up to what we're capable of when the pressure is on? It may not be so surprising to hear that in stressful situations, we worry. We worry about the situation, the consequences, what others will think of us. But what is surprising is that we often get in our own way precisely because our worries prompt us to concentrate too much. That's right, we pay too much attention to what we're doing. When we're concerned about performing our best, we often try and control aspects of what we're doing that are best left on autopilot, outside conscious awareness. And as a result, we mess up.

8:04Think about a situation where you're shuffling down the stairs, and what would happen if I asked you to think about what you're doing with your knee while you're doing that? There's a good chance you'd fall on your face. We as humans only have the ability to pay attention to so much at once, which is why, by the way, it's not a good idea to drive and talk on the cell phone. And under pressure, when we're concerned about performing at our best, we can try and control aspects of what we're doing that should be left outside conscious control. The end result is that we mess up. My research team and I have studied this phenomenon of over-attention, and we call it paralysis by analysis.

8:48In one study, we asked college soccer players to dribble a soccer ball and to pay attention to an aspect of their performance that they would not otherwise attend to. We asked them to pay attention to what side of the foot was contacting the ball. We showed that performance was slower and more error prone when we drew their attention to the step-by-step details of what they were doing. When the pressure is on, we're often concerned with performing at our best, and as a result, we try and control what we're doing to force the best performance. The end result is that we actually screw up. In basketball, the term unconscious is used to describe a shooter who can't miss.

9:35And San Antonio Spurs star Tim Duncan has said, when you have to stop and think, that's when you mess up. In dance, the great choreographer George Balanchine used to urge his dancers, don't think, just do. When the pressure's on, when we want to put our best foot forward, somewhat ironically, we often try and control what we're doing in a way that leads to worse performance. So what do we do? Knowing that we have this overactive attention, how do we ensure that we perform at our best? A lot of it comes down to the prefrontal cortex, that front part of our brain that sits over our eyes and usually helps us focus in positive ways, it often gets hooked on the wrong things.

10:25So how do we unhook it? Something as simple as singing a song or paying attention to one's pinky toe, as pro golfer Jack Nicholas was rumored to do, can help us take our mind off those pesky details. It's also true that practicing under conditions that we're going to perform under. Closing the gap between training and competition can help us get used to that feeling of all eyes on us. This is true off the playing field as well. Whether it's getting ready for an exam or preparing for a big talk, one that might have a little pressure associated with it, getting used to the types of situations you're going to perform under really matters.

11:12When you're taking a test, close the book. Practice retrieving the answer from memory under timed situations. And when you're giving a talk, practice in front of others. And if you can't find anyone who will listen, practice in front of a video camera or even a mirror. The ability to get used to what it will feel like can make the difference in whether we choke or thrive. We've also figured out some ways to get rid of those pesky worries and self-doubts that tend to creep up in the stressful situations. Researchers have shown that simply jotting down your thoughts and worries before a stressful event can help to download them from mind, make them less likely to pop up in the moment.

11:55It's kind of like when you wake up in the middle of the night and you're really worried about what you have to do the next day, you're trying to think about everything you have to accomplish, and you write it down, and then you can go back to sleep. Journaling or getting those thoughts down on paper makes it less likely they'll pop up and distract you in the moment. The end result is that you can perform your best when it matters most. So up until now, I've talked about what happens when we put limits on ourselves and some tips we can use to help perform up to our potential. But it's important to remember that it's not just our own individual being that can put limits and that can perform poorly, our environment has an effect on whether we choke or thrive.

12:42Our parents, our teachers, our coaches, our bosses, all influence whether or not we can put our best foot forward when it matters most. Take math as an example. That's right, I said it, math. Lots of people profess to choke or are anxious about doing math, whether it's taking a test, or even calculating the tip on a dinner bill as our smart friends look on. And it's quite socially acceptable to talk about choking or performing poorly in math. You don't hear highly educated people walking around talking about the fact or bragging about the fact that they're not good readers, but you hear people all the time bragging about how they're not math people.

13:29And unfortunately, in the U.S., this tends to be more so among girls and women than boys and men. My research team and I have tried to understand where this fear of math comes from. And we've actually peered inside the brains using functional magnetic resonance imaging of people who are worried about math. We've shown that math phobia correlates with a concrete visceral sensation, such as pain, of which we have every right to feel anxious. In fact, when people who are worried about math are just getting ready to take a math test, they're not even taking it, they're just getting ready, areas of the brain known to be involved in our neural pain response are active.

14:16When we say math is painful, there's some truth to it for some people. But where does this math anxiety come from? It turns out that math anxiety is contagious. When adults are worried about math, the children around them start worrying too. As young as first grade, when kids are in classrooms with teachers who are anxious about their own math ability, these kids learn less across the school year. And it turns out that this is more prevalent in girls than boys. At this young age, kids tend to mimic same-sex adults, and at least in the U.S., over 90 % of our elementary school teachers are women.

15:02Of course, it's not just what happens in the classroom. Social media plays a big role here, too. It wasn't so long ago that you could purchase a Teen Talk Barbie that when the cord was pulled, it would say things like, will we ever have enough clothes? and math class is tough. And just a few years ago, major retailers were marketing t-shirts at our young girls that read things like, I'm too pretty to do math. Or I'm too pretty to do my homework so my brother does it for me. And let's not forget about the parents. Oh, the parents. It turns out that when parents are worried about their own math ability and they help their kids a lot with math homework, their kids learn less math across the school year.

15:55As one parent put it, I judge my first grader's math homework by whether it's a one-glass assignment or a three-glass night.

16:07When adults are anxious about their own math ability, it rubs off on their kids and it affects whether they choke or thrive. But just as we can put limits on others, we can take them off. My research team and I have shown that when we help parents do fun math activities with their kids, rather than, say, just doing bedtime stories or bedtime reading, they do bedtime math, which are fun story problems to do with your kids at night. Not only do children's attitudes about math improve, but their math performance across the school year improves as well. Our environment matters from the classroom to parents to media, and it can really make a difference in terms of whether we choke or thrive.

16:57Fast forward from my high school soccer game to my freshman year in college. I was in the chemistry sequence for science majors, and boy, did I not belong. Even though I studied for my first midterm exam, I thought I was ready to go. I bombed it. I literally got the worst grade in a class of 400 students. I was convinced I wasn't going to be a science major, that maybe I was dropping out of college altogether. But then I changed how I studied. Instead of studying alone, I started studying with a group of friends who at the end of the study session would close their book and compete for the right answer.

17:46We learned to practice under stress. If you could have looked inside my brain during that first midterm exam, you likely would have seen a neural pain response, a lot like the math-anxious individuals I study. It was probably there during the stressful study situation as well. But when I walked into the final, my mind was quiet, and I actually got one of the highest grades in the entire class. It wasn't just about learning the material. It was about learning how to overcome my limits when it mattered most. What happens in our heads really matters. And knowing this, we can learn how to prepare ourselves and others for success, not just on the playing field, but in the boardroom and in the classroom as well.

18:40Thank you.

18:56Talk about how most Capital One cafes are open seven days a week to assist with your banking needs. Yep, even on weekends, it's pretty much all he talks about. In a good way. What's in your wallet? Terms apply. See CapitalOne.com slash bank. Capital One N.A. member FDIC. This episode is brought to you by Capital One. Capital One's tech team isn't just talking about multi-agentic AI. They already deployed one. It's called Chat Concierge and it's simplifying car shopping. Using self-reflection and layered reasoning with live API checks, it doesn't just help buyers find a car they love. It helps schedule a test drive, get pre-approved for financing, and estimate trade in value.

19:39Advanced, intuitive, and deployed. That's how they stack. That's technology at Capital One. Hey, this is Elise Hu, host of TED Talks Daily. This episode is supported in part by Choiceology, an original podcast from Charles Schwab. Hosted by Katie Milkman, an award-winning behavioral scientist and author of the best-selling book, How to Change, Choiceology is a show about the psychology and economics behind our decisions. Hear true stories from Nobel laureates, authors, athletes, and everyday people about why we do the things we do. Listen to Choiceology at schwab.com slash podcast or wherever you listen.