Can You Beat Us at This IMPOSSIBLE Premier League Quiz?

0:00Chris Stark: Hello and welcome to that Peter Crouch podcast with me Peter Crouch, Notorious S.I.D. and Chris Stark are with me. Welcome back Sid. Oh yeah. Yeah there's a rumour, Chris and a few of the lads said I'd lost the dressing room. No. That was the rumour. You know what I mean? Because you zoned out a week before, Chris left early if you remember and then you didn't turn up next week. You didn't turn up for two podcasts Sid. To be fair yeah it feels like I've been gone a couple of weeks. How was it in Poland? Poland yeah Chelsea game Chelsea game very good look great good on and off the pitch was it it's my first European jaunt with the TNT group and you've done it a few times haven't you really fun hammer down yeah hammer down they don't even pretend it's work anymore no no no it's you know they were highly professional in there yeah well saw you on the TV I thought you did a fantastic job thanks mate you're very smart very smart yeah yeah very smart brush up alright and then what happened you go out afterwards afterwards out after yeah so we did so the game because obviously we're an hour in front we didn't come off air until midnight got back to the hotel about one-ish and yeah i got picked up at about half five so it went through

1:16Chris Stark: it's good chelsea fans there always nice to have a few beers after the game and i suppose all the chelsea fans are buzzing you know won the conference yeah good performance i actually obviously, all Real Batiste and then Chelsea, I knew when the as soon as they scored one, they was going to be fine. But the atmosphere, it was good. It was good. Nice place as well. What do they say? Beautiful in the daytime and seedy at night. They'll be seedy at night, yeah. Yeah. And then, obviously, we're a week on from the Champions League final, which you didn't attend this year, Crouchy, but you're adamant you're going to go.

1:49I didn't, mate.

1:49Chris Stark: No, no. Yeah, I actually ended up at a, I was at a 30th birthday party and we were dressed as cowboys. That's been quite a common one this year. It's really good, actually. This is the second time this year I've seen you dressed as a cowboy. Well, I don't know. I have time with shoes into cowboys, so you've probably seen me in various outfits. That's what it was. I'm sure I saw you do something in Yellowstone. That's right. Yeah, yeah. We went down to the only working ranch in the UK. We've got to talk to you, Crouchy, about something which, frankly, I think I've been tagged in more than anything I've ever been tagged in.

2:24No, not, isn't it? It's gone massive, mate. this golf just talk us through it

2:31Chris Stark: well I'm at a very prestigious golf course and it was quite a lively day and it was on Friday and it was a good group of us, 30 of us and it was quite a few lads on the terrace and it was quite nerve wracking it was the first tee shot in front of a lot of people and I didn't know but someone was obviously filming it yeah and I've hit my shot about three yards into the bush on the left and I've turned around obviously everyone's buzzing absolutely buzzing I think it's made a lot of people's day and yeah someone's filmed it obviously posted it but I don't think I've been tagged in like into anything more yeah but it felt like the first robot

3:13people were really excited

3:14Chris Stark: I fucked it so what's the story could you because it's filmed from the balcony isn't it it's filmed from there's a bar there at the balcony the terrace is one of the best terraces in golf in golf world golf because you see you see everything and the views is incredible stunning stunning and it was a lovely hot day I was there I was there you was the last group to go out yeah thank god so the lads who I played with didn't see it but they've seen it now right and yeah but the terrace is on a nice day it's full and you can you're in view so if you fire it into the bush so there was it was a lot of pressure on that could you feel it I felt it but do you know what I've had tea shots before I thought you know I didn't feel like loads of pressure I just thought you need to get this one away but we had a few we had a few we had a few jars we had a few pint of Pimses was it the game yeah I had two or three pints pints so that definitely added it but I actually played alright after that played okay well how was your second shot from the bush well no so I just I just reloaded I just reloaded I didn't I didn't I just had three off the tea well there's no way I'm going in there it's like nettles and everything well I was highly embarrassed but you know it seemed to bring a lot of joy to people's faces mate it made me feel so much better because the thing is I always assume you boys are so far ahead of me in golf and then you see something like that and you think oh my god I could be competitive with this sort of standard happens to us all do you know what because I talk about golf so much a lot on this podcast on Therapy Crouch as well I'm referencing golf a lot so then when people that might be some people's first you know that's the first shot they've seen me hit horrendous well I just want to say thank you because I really do feel like you know when I talked about my bollocks it got people talking and it started a conversation you've shown it's okay to hit shots like that you know if you're doing it that made me feel a whole lot better so look just thank you so much yeah I don't want to make it kind of the same same as your thing really it was just a golf shot but if I'm helping in some way then and we're stimulating conversations about golf then it's all I really hope it's like me you get a lot of blokes now messaging you and DMing you just saying look thank you Crouch thanks so much you're making me think I can probably take it up are we going to get a game in this summer?

5:34let's do it we've got to do it we've got to do it I mean there was I don't know I think as a podcast I see other podcasts going and taking part in tournaments and things like that and there's a lot of these sort of what do you call them pro-am things around we can easy do that lads oh yeah easy do that I feel like I mean obviously jokes aside you two are a way different standard but I don't know as a unit we might do alright it might average out okay definitely compared to the fucking rest is politics I'm joking

6:00Chris Stark: absolutely destroy them anyone out there any podcast out there will destroy this is a call out is it Sid we'll take anyone down this is maximum anyone down apart from Jimmy Bullard I was thinking he's got podcasts Jimmy Bullard's got one apart from him even like you know obviously there's a few golf podcast we've got ex-golfers on it we can't do it we'll still give it a go yeah let's take out the news agents news agents down 100 % die obviously I'm dead he's gone yeah trying to think who else is out there ah Linick I'll play against Shearer Micah I'm not sure but Shearer's Shearer's good isn't he Shearer can play yeah he took me down before I think Gary can play as well no we'll take them down I think with our handicaps I think we could take them what about my therapist ghosted me that might be a time one you never know but it's a call out since it's calling out any podcaster wants to take us on it's an enjoyable day isn't it it's a great day out great I'm up for it so today's podcast is a little bit different isn't it we're in this weird sort of summertime before the season starts and we've had this idea about doing a little quiz I'll be honest with you I've had absolutely nothing to do with this Chris I do have a hand in some of the podcasts we do but very little to do with this one because it's been kept secret by producer Jamie.

7:20Chris Stark: This is top secret quiz. So basically you can take on, I believe, us as a podcast. Yeah, so wherever you're listening, we're going to take part in the quiz. You can sort of take us on. What this screams of is you know when teachers scramble for things to do for wet play or like when the weather's shit outside or a little bit like you're at the end of term and they can't be asked anymore. So what they do is they try out a little quiz. or sometimes they put a film on or something and you'll sit down and watch a film we're rolling out a video today we're going to do a quiz today it reminds me a little bit of German Covid we were all doing quizzes I love it what's all that about?

7:59I mean I don't know I love a quiz

8:00Chris Stark: I love a football question for me is really erotic

8:10Chris Stark: you know when someone gives you a really good like a Premier League probably hear a comment like question i do find it really stimulating

8:23Chris Stark: horny for a quiz so horny for a quiz there's a core podcast memory i have of it being say like midnight one o 'clock in the morning during covid and we'd be on zoom doing a podcast and they'd throw in one of these you know there's five footballers whose name begin with a that have scored four or less goals in their first season in the Premier League. Can you name them? And he sits there like this for the following two hours, just drinks, constantly coming until he's completed it. Oh yeah, I'm just saying, yeah, yeah. I've got one. I mean, who was the lad at Leicester when about begins with A? What's the question?

9:01Chris Stark: Akinbahi. Adi Akinbahi. You just made up a question. I just answered. I got an answer. You answered a question. Adi Akinbahi, you said under four goals in the Premier League season. Yeah. Ali Akimboi he said he begins with A fucking hell I mean that's extraordinary look it's a wealth of knowledge I don't know if he if he was under four but I know he went eight months without scoring something like that good chance then well look that's the challenge today you're taking on the elite if you can beat Peter Crouch good luck to you count your score as you go we're going to do it we are a team though lads we're going to be a team well good luck count your score let us know if you beat us in the DMs Jamie hello lads over to you how we doing good so we're going to start with some general knowledge.

9:43So, first question. Who is the only team to keep a clean sheet against Liverpool this season? Oof.

9:52Chris Stark: So that would have been Nottingham Forest, right? Nottingham Forest beat them, right? Did they score? Was it not 1-0? It was 1-0. No, that was against City, wasn't it? 1-0? The Forest beat them at Anfield early on. Forest? Nottingham Forest beat Liverpool at Anfield. But I thought that was 1-0 because Callum Sir Hudson had always scored. I think you're right. And I think that was... I don't know if that's... Or do you think? Because I... I'm so... But then I could be right. I'm 90 % sure that was City. What was their City score? They won 1-0 in that, didn't they? Who did they lose to towards the end?

10:28Chris Stark: Was that Palace? Yeah. I'll ask who, Liverpool. Liverpool. They drew 1-1. They drew 1-1, that was it. You seem confident. We're going to go with Nottingham Forest. That is correct. Oh! we're off to a flyer they can do a lot of heavy lifting at Anfield yes 1-0 at Anfield listen this quiz is going to rely a lot on honesty if you're playing along yes don't cheat you're only cheating yourself I should have got my wife to read the quid no offence we missed a trick there yeah we really did I mean she got a lot of if you want to spice it up Jamie you can spice it up in the voice yeah do an accent if you want four of the buggers maybe on number four you can do four of the buggers I'll try I don't know number two please Jamie number two hit us true or false this was the first time Danny Welbeck has scored 10 goals in the Premier League true true I think that's true bang on true definitely that is true yes that is true nice this is his 17th campaign wow that is mad isn't it 17 17 seasons that is actually unbelievable that was with Arsenal Watford Watford when they were in the Premier League yeah Watford Sunderland Sunderland Sunderland United Man U Man U jeez I mean I remember when he burst kind of burst on the scene I mean I had but like some longevity did well for England as well yeah underrated for England we ready for question three yes please whipping through this we are he's got somewhere to be by the looks of it the ice cream man must have turned up I'll wait for him Arnest Slott won his first three games in the Premier League without conceding a single goal who was the last manager to do that oh Oh, say that one again, Jamie.

12:13Oneslot won his first three games in the Premier League without conceding a single goal. Who was the last manager to do that? No, that's what off. This might need a few arrows thrown in. Okay. This is obviously modern. It's not going back to the Premier League. Premier League era. Is it modern Premier League era? Or is it like, I'm talking like, is it like way back or is it? I'm trying to think of what it was. it's not way, way back, but, okay, but it's quite a while, yeah, somewhat, okay,

12:45Chris Stark: who's the last, one is first three, without conceding a goal, well, I'm just thinking of, massive impact, straight away, yeah, exactly, do you go City, like Mourinho, or City's a good shout, if you think about it, without conceding a goal, I'm just thinking, I think Antonio Conte, because he won the league, in his first season, didn't he, at Chelsea, well yes, I think it's a better shout, because I don't think, he'd bother with a question, that was the last manager and it turned out to be you know in a short space of time I think it'll be closer to what you're saying couldn't be Mourinho could it 2005 that year where they could be barely conceded a goal yeah 15 goals wasn't it but it was his first season though my shirt's just moved there I reckon that could be a sign could be Rafa Benitez

13:36Chris Stark: the shirt had moved well that feels like a sign doesn't it we're a religious podcast now you know ever since Christian it can't be lived for again surely say his name again see if it Rafa Benitez if that moved then let's go for him do you want to give us a clue I'm a purist at this really I don't really like clues feels like this should be for half a point if you take the clue have your answer now if you've got this correct it's a full point and if you get it after this it's a half point yeah I would say you have played under this manager Crouchy wow Pulis Burnley did yeah Palace didn't he keep them up Palace yeah is it the first three games of the season or the first three games of that manager in charge I would believe his first three of the manager the manager's reign well you've played under him so Harry Pulis Raph Daesh Daesh yeah but for Burnley for when he started he started out of all their managers who'd written we'll keep three clean sheets as soon as they go into a job it's got Pulis Daesh Raffled up and that defence was a joke with Carragher should we go with Tony Pulis here?

14:56Chris Stark: I think that's a good shout Palace was a good shout kept them up didn't he? if it's Raffa that was a sign and I believe in God do you want to go with Raffa then? no happy with Pulis go with Pulis do you want to say it because you say it so much better Tony Pulis it's incorrect it's Sven Goran Eriksson with Man City no way oh what a red herring that he played under that was a rouge herring rouge herring herring rouge herring LaRouche no way who was that with Leicester City wow I believe it was with City forget that was the Vassal era wasn't it and that was the same season that he lost 8-1 to Middlesbrough I think last game of the season and he got three clean won three games in a row well if anyone gets that then hats off to you yeah fair play 2007 I think yeah well done alright question number four who broke the record this season for having scored all of their Premier League goals with their left foot that is a weird that's something you should know wow they hold the record for scoring 100 % of their Premier League goals with their left foot.

16:07This season or their record? They broke it this season. It's their record.

16:11Chris Stark: They've only ever scored with a left foot in the Premier League of all time. Strictly left foot. Strictly left foot. 100%. So how have they broken a record then? What do you mean you've broken a record? Well, they scored another goal to beat the person that had held that record before. Oh, so there was a record before? Yeah. Do you know what? This is tickling something in my brain, you know? I think so this has happened this season this season yeah it's quite an interesting record because as soon as they score a goal with the right foot it's over it's over it's like you almost don't want it you'll just keep setting yeah it just goes to zero record yeah okay let's think about goal scorers not even goal scorers because I don't think it'll be that many show me because if you're a goal scorer you score all types of goals it's not going to be like Salah so he scored 100 goals with his left foot 100 % he might score I've scored five goals.

17:05Chris Stark: Do you know what I mean? Yeah, it's hard, that. Someone very left-footed. Couldn't be Matoma, could it? At Brighton, he's left-footed. Oh, I think I remember him scoring one on the right. Oh, he did, yeah. Come on, that one. Good goal, wasn't it? It's not like a Luke Shaw sort of... Someone who's been around a long time. Hmm. Ah. And not scored many. Tough question, that. Hmm. I feel like it's one of those if you've seen it you'd know it if not I think we're going to struggle there yeah should we get a clue? just get a good clue it is an Englishman if that helps English player left footed in the Premier League in the Premier League English player I feel like you'll get it if I tell you who he'd play for English player left footed Premier League so his last 21 goals have been with his left foot yes 100 %

18:01Chris Stark: this might be the worst podcast this is the worst quiz I've ever done I could like editing this is Luke sure not the shout here then when did he last score a goal I don't remember him scoring 21s a lot of goals I think for him I don't know if he'd get that many he's played a lot of games yeah he's been around a long time though what's the answer the answer is Dwight McNeil Dwight McNeil I would never have got that wouldn't have got that really I probably I could have got that if I wanted to suffer he was Scottish I played with him it's a sneaky mutt he was a sneaky he was Scottish that sounds Scottish it does I didn't think that one would be that tough no that's really gettable that was sloppy for me really I played with the lad I feel like it's one of those stats it's one of those stats if you've seen it you would have you would have known it there'll be people out there that have seen that and I'll be on 100 % record now.

18:56Chris Stark: So we need to catch up with them. Justin Kloivert became the first ever player in Premier League history to score a hat-trick of penalties in a single match in a 4-2 win against who? Oh, I knew you were going to say that. That annoyed me. I was doing a game that day and I kept seeing him popping up. Home game, wasn't it? I think it was home game, yeah. Should we just throw one out? Yeah, you can throw one out. do you want to message a few people on instagram

19:32what's Tucker's 19 have to say about this we should have got Tucker's 19 we should have done yeah I don't know do you know I don't know the answer is no no the answer is wolves wolves

19:44Chris Stark: yeah I don't think we'd have got that either just touching on Tucker's 19 I was away somewhere recently and um the the waiter came over to me and uh i'd said it i was it was doing bits and pieces really quietly no one else heard of me she went no how's tucker's 19 he's great no way i love it loved it general passing the pod really i really loved those little subtle ones yeah people just pop over and go piss off carl or something like that they're like just little niche things it's like we it's only us that know it yeah I think as well if you have a chance where you can use a different name go for Tucker's 19 so go for like if you're checking into a hotel and they say what name's it under always Tucker's 19 if you're reserving a table at a restaurant just get it in there Tucker's 19 superb let's see where we can get it Tucker's 19 although whack an exclamation mark on the end of it as well just to keep yourself safe you know yeah nice I wish everyone at home could hear the fact that we've got a pigeon living in our wall of the Chumba one bar has he got a name?

20:51Chris Stark: yeah Lenny Lenny Pidgeley what a shout right are we ready tough questions tough questions I would say the standard's pretty heavy this it's tough yeah if there's any five out of fives out there well done congratulations round three I think you'll have a good chance but round two is facts and stats sounds horrendous right question number one who was the top walker in the Premier League this season so that means spent the highest amount of time in the game walking was it A. Matthias Cunha B. Virgil van Dijk or C. Murillo who's C? Murillo that's yeah Van Dijk plays the game like he's just can't see it in second gear I mean and Liverpool have most of the ball don't they and he'll have a lot of time where he'll be watching people in front of him play yeah Kunia's very kind of relaxed he'll stop and start yeah go again but Murillo I think would be under a lot of pressure yeah like they they soaked up a lot I know they had midfielders in front of them but I still think he'd be shuffling so you think one of the first two yeah I think Big Verge I do as well does he go forward more like I'm just trying to work out how they work out the walking element to this he doesn't really drive with the ball even out does he just gets it passes it he's just no I mean like let's say he goes forward for a corner is that counting as oh that can't that counts that counts yeah yeah that's how I got my stats up for years I only say because I wonder if between the two that might sway it against him a bit because it will come up as because it's imagine percentage of the of your total movement yeah he goes up and so really I'll go up as well wouldn't he yeah I think Virg yeah we'll go with Virg or Van Dyke Virg it's actually United's new man Matthias Cunha yeah 77.1 % spent walking this season are you joking me no I might have to check somebody it's a lot 70 is that what he does yeah just walks about 76 and he's just got moved to Man U for 65 million or something like that jeez Virg van Dyke was very close second 76.6 % yeah we weren't I think what we were correct with what we were saying yep wow he's basically going for a Pascal Chibondo isn't he he is he's basically walked his way into United he's walked to Old Trafford I wonder why that is he's very like he's a class player right yeah I think a lot of these players they conserve energy quite a bit you know watch Messi you know how many times you watch Messi walking around and then get the ball and come alive his qualities aren't defensive are they just give me the ball and I'll make things happen do you think it has a lot to do with the ball was most of the time in the defence you know teams are attacking against Wolves a lot so he's having to do a lot you think that you should be helping your team out the less you've got the ball the more you should run same with Van Dijk the ball's often more often than not that's what I thought with Van Dijk Liverpool are attacking most of the time and he knows He's just watching.

24:11Chris Stark: Just watching the game. He's on the halfway line, just watching the game. All right. Okay. Interesting stats. Very interesting, Jamie. Enjoyed that. So we're going to go for number two. Who recorded the slowest top speed in the Premier League this season? Was it A, Thomas Suchek, B, Bernardo Silva, or C, Craig Dawson? Slowest top speed. Suchek's got to be slow, hasn't he? Yeah. We assume Craig Dawson would have had to trap back at... you must have been kind of out position at one stage the slowest top speed so what it just means at one point basically the slowest player in a full tilt who was the middle one?

24:53the middle one the other man Bernardo Silva this is tough I don't know how they work this out though Suchek or Bernardo Silva that's basically the question isn't it who's the slowest out of them three going full if they gave everything

25:07Chris Stark: Bernardo Silva's not like rely on his pace he's a bubbler no but you I still imagine he'd be faster than Craig Dawson wouldn't you yeah but I think Dawson must be a time where you're out of position yeah he's cracking on a bit though isn't he Bernardo Silva so is Dawson what's down Dawson yeah I was going to say he's about 38 no I don't think he is Dawson I think he is Bernardo Silva ahead of Suchek might have you he's Suchek doesn't have much business running at all if you think about it does he? Into the box to get a goal He's a box to box man he tackles in I can't I can't he's ever really sprinting Let's just if them three were here now and they had to sprint over to that building over there I'd love to watch it I think Bernardo Silva's ahead surely Well should we just stick him in the Valorama first of all?

26:00That's the real quiz Well that's who checks not going in the middle I actually this is another one where they're It's going to be like tight. Well, take your pick then. Chris, I think you should go for this one because it's kind of a lottery. I want to go Craig Dawson or Suchet. Top speed. I think top speed recorded in the league, I think Craig Dawson would have had more opportunities at having to get back and therefore would have clocked up a higher speed because there would have been more chances. So I would say Suchet.

26:34Chris Stark: Yeah, go Suchet. Final answer. I feel like Chris Tarrant. I'm going to go Suchek, please. It's Craig Dawson. Oh, fucker. 18.2 miles per hour. Then Bernardo Silva had 18.72 and Suchek was 18.79. So it was very close. Yeah. That doesn't sound slow when you think about it, but... To run 100 metres. Dawson was 18.2. Yeah. 18.72. So Dawson was the quickest. So that makes him the quickest.

27:09oh yeah you're right Ross what

27:12Chris Stark: how is it not 19 seconds is slower than 18 seconds it's not miles per hour miles per hour

27:24that spun me then we've all learned a lesson I said miles per hour when I gave you the answer as well

27:31Chris Stark: don't say you don't learn anything on this podcast right miles per hour is different to seconds it is facts so we were wrong anyway well we got there yeah so who was slowest Dawson okay next question next question fucking hell right we want to sit up the next one is the next one is who recorded the fastest fuck is this in seconds or miles per hour this is in miles per hour out of them three the shirt's coming got to be van der ven the fucking shirt's give a fuck you now even the shirt slotted I feel like we need an exorcism here okay so who's the fastest out of them lot no no no I'm going to give you some new names so who's the fastest we've got A Matthias Nunez B Mickey van der Ven or C Anthony Alanga has to be van der Ven surely I mean Alanga's up there but I haven't seen many faster than Mickey van der Ven van der Ven I'm sure I saw it somewhere where he clocked up the fastest time unless Alanga beat it since then but Van der Ven definitely held that record for a while he's Van der Ven yes yeah we're back on track lads back stronger 23 miles an hour 23 23 quick do you know what your top speeds were 22 I think no I just made that I was going to say whoa that was quick I was fucking back six miles an hour I think I could be Dawson levels the article here I've picked out says the Premier League's top 20 slowest players Charlie Allen top at 26.72 Peter Crouch comes in at number two with 28.58 kilometres an hour.

29:14Chris Stark: Cesc Fabregas and then Sean Maloney apparently. Sean Maloney, I mean Sean. 17.7 17.7 You're slowing Craig Dawson. Who am I? I'm slowing Craig Dawson. 17, is that top if I'm making this up? Do you know what I mean? It's not as if on the side of the pitch they've got the police with the gun do you know what I mean going like let's get it I'm slower than I am a little slower than Robson Karn Gareth Barry I'm slower than Gareth Barry apparently according to this even Rod Stewart's faster than you Rod Stewart he's 80 Olivia Giroux it's close but is this in one season it must be in one season do you know what I mean I mean I was I was rapid back in the day sorry just on the fastest thing right if you're that fast right that you can do over 20 miles per hour if you were to run past a speed camera at 20 miles an hour would it flash i'd love to test this out good point it's been done come on a nightclub yeah my mate tried to do it he ran he was quick yeah no we did he's just off that cushion you and you're able to go we did yeah it was like 3 in the morning we couldn't get a taxi so we ended up walking and it was like there was a speed camera let's see if we can set this off wow and we all started spinning no joy no we probably felt like we were going 20 but it was probably going like 10 yeah but if you could get the speed would it register a person sure it can't does it that'd be class what a photo that would be unbelievable thank you we actually saw it wow I guess what we need a speed camera somewhere where it's a 20 mile per hour limit.

31:03They're few and far between.

31:04Chris Stark: Isn't there like a 10 somewhere? If there's one... What camera for 10 miles an hour? It's around schools now. Aren't they like 10 or 5 now? Yeah, but I don't think... We'd have to think because I was sprinting around schools. A mad speed camera, wouldn't it?

31:2110 miles an hour speed camera. That can't exist. I don't even think there's a 15. I reckon there's a 20 somewhere though I think it'd be a 20 listen if you know of a 20 mile per hour speed camera yeah but we've got to get Mickey Van Der Ven down there maybe this is what we do maybe we bring a player someone to take it on what was what was what was his time again Mickey Van Der Ven's 23 23.0 23 so we can take a slower player there they've just got to beat well let's go for Van Der Ven and work backwards from there yeah okay

31:55Chris Stark: alright Alright, last question of round two. Who was the most substituted player of this 24-25 Premier League season? I saw one player's barely finished a game. I can make a multiple choice up for you if it helps. It's a tough, tough compliment. Shall we switch from multiple choice format quickly? We need a multiple choice on that. That's tough. Multiple choice, please. Okay. Is it A, Chris Wood, B, Liam DeLapp, or C Martin Odegaard can't be Chris Wood no it's not Chris Wood I don't think I don't think it's Chris Wood I think I think this could be a a rouge heren oh dear so it's not Odegaard and Liam Dallat he's just made two of these up on the spot I know yeah it was quite impressive because I thought he'd give it away Ross has not provided the multiple choice on this one so he's picked two faces he did well you actually did very well you did very well because you've poker faced us yeah Nigel Ria-Coker face

32:56I would say Odegaard you don't want to lose would

32:59Chris Stark: no god it's the worst thing you can do I think alright I'll leave it to you guys no no no I just want you to explain the theory because Odegaard obviously injuries this season right so you're saying the substitution thing is based on managing minutes and that's probably where it's come to because I'm just trying to think on the games he did play because obviously there was a load that he didn't but the games he played I would have thought he there's only one thing to say first part of the season he would have done pretty much 90 minutes it's hip dip dog shit I think you're Odegaard you're DeLap and I'm Wood hip dip dog shit fucking bastard silly git you are not it hip dip dog shit fucking bastard silly git you are not it yeah who are you?

33:50DeLap by your meaning and I think it's DeLap were you DeLat well I actually thought he was Erdogan he thought he was Erdogan but you said to me but you said to me DeLat yeah you did so it was Liam DeLat then yeah what did you say it is Liam DeLat yes yes it worked come on come on that's how it's done that's how it's done that's how it's done that's how it's done very good right subbed off 29 times there you go man like it never fails if deep dog shit never fails unbelievable well this round I think you'll do pretty well I think I'm just sorry just very quickly on the dog shit the what's this dog shit alley that we walk through every day that road there's always like a fresh covering of dog shit along the whole thing do you experience this?

34:38yeah it's like a minefield every time bizarre antics

34:42Chris Stark: not nice isn't it we have had dogs in here previously but I know the dog owners that do bring them into the chum wine but they do they're picker uppers oh absolutely I don't think anyone who listens to this podcast is. I don't know if you need to disrespect that. Yeah. Right, round three. Let's go. Might enjoy this one. It's nostalgia. What's this round called? Nostalgia. Oh, lovely. That's a bit of nostalgia. It's a bit of me. All right. Yeah. You should get this one. Question number one. Who scored the first ever Premier League goal? Brian Dean. It is Brian Dean. Bonus point. Which team? Sheffield United.

35:12There we go. All right. Next question. Which team holds the records for most red cards received by a single team in the Premier League? what's that which team has basically received the most red cards in the Premier League in a season is it over the course of the Premier League yeah on the whole Premier League it's got to be Arsenal who's been in the longest Everton as well Arsenal's a good shout yeah yeah feel like Arsenal Arsenal it is Arsenal yeah 110

35:46Chris Stark: that's mad 110 it's mental are they so good Everton were 109 Everton 109 yeah okay next question which club was relegated from the Premier League despite having a positive goal difference wouldn't be the West Ham team I thought that they were such a good team weren't they but I don't know I can see a lot of goals the most points in there was it 44 points did they that West Ham team think about that team as well by the way Joe Cole Michael Carrick David James Jermaine Defoe Travis Sinclair Travis Sinclair that's mad this is nostalgia as well by the way this is old should we just go West Ham yeah we're going to go with that West Ham team it is West Ham oh 0-2-0-3 one goal difference on 42 points 42 points ah should never have gone down 42 points so what they say 38 doesn't it they say it keeps you up anything above games played aye alright next question which team has conceded the most goals overall in the Premier League which team Everton just because they've been in there for so long you know obviously shouldn't have been agreed I think you're right I think you're right well I don't know they've been it feels like they've been fighting listen they've had some amazing teams but it feels like they've fought relegation more often than not and never been relegated I think you're right but you nailed it shall we go with Everton then it is Everton oh wow there we go We're at the original form though.

37:20Cruising. 1 ,633 goals. Well, Ross didn't make that question. I didn't put that question in. I think he did. Through gritted teeth. All right. Well, we have got one more round, but I think, Chris, do you want to take this one? Is this the round that you told me I'll have a slight more advantage at? I think so. Most of these questions, you will know the answer to. Oh, you crack on then, Jamie. Yeah. I think, yeah. You've done a great job of being quiz masters.

37:47Chris Stark: Let us go first before Chris has a guess. Yeah? Yeah. All right. Okay. Well, we'll go for the first question in round four, which is called the Shinner Takes It All. The Shinner Takes It All. The Shinner Takes It All. Nicely done. I didn't think you liked Tubber. I don't. Fair enough. Question number one. When is Chris's birthday? Oh, that's a horrible question. here we go wow we'll give you half a point if you can get the month oh it was recently wasn't it I can't say let's figure it out what date are we in now it's June I've got a feeling it was recent was it in April all them times you've been working no I've been working together for so long I would hazard a guess he doesn't know mine though yours is the 12th of May is that poker face I think it's April okay April 28th Chris, do you want to give the answer?

38:46I will. My birthday was the 12th of March. You've drawn it from there, Crouchy. I think you've got the 12th thing. The 12th was in there. Your gut was right. I have the M as well. I think if you ask any group of blokes what their mate's birthday is, none of them would be able to say it. No, but the only thing I would say which probably you could have worked out was it was on my birthday that we went to Kensington Palace for Prince William because do you remember we got smashed do you remember that

39:18Chris Stark: yeah we drank two you didn't we I would never have got that month no your January yes do you know when Sid's is no we should know this really shouldn't we we should really yeah I want to say like the 30th of Jan oh he nailed it yeah well done son I remember you saying that contract it's on the Wikipedia yeah I reckon you're like November yeah I was I was leaning more that way, October, November. Therapy's biggest impact doesn't show up in some dramatic breakthrough. It shows up in the smallest moments. You bite your tongue instead of escalating. You put your phone down instead of firing off that text.

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41:10what kind of time October the 4th

41:15Chris Stark: November the 12th December 14th oh I knew it was Winry it was Winry very close to Christmas that one isn't it alright okay what's the best party you've ever had best party I'll let you you can have any point in your life like McDonald's party as a kid or my 21st was good people say I'm on 21st why are you yeah Elysium in London the theatre no nightclub oh yeah the Lion King's there or Mamma Mia Elysium Theatre that's in yeah that's in yeah Covent Garden yeah we're 21st probably it's good it's a good night out next question how many pancakes are consumed in the UK every year on pancake day it's gotta be a lot To the nearest what?

42:06Miles Brown.

42:13I think with this one, each of you can probably give an answer and I'll go with whoever gets it closest.

42:18Chris Stark: Yeah. And what are we going in? Kilograms? Like stone? Just amount of pancakes. Oh, amount of pancakes. I'm going to go 120 ,000. Well, look, you can sort of do the maths here. Every man will eat four. in a year, won't they? At least, on average, I think. Yeah. You're not as prolific as you at Five Aside, surely. I don't think I have four. Maybe I do have four pancakes a year. Maybe more. Are you actually thinking? You got a hundred and odd thousand, right? I'm going to go above that. I'm going to go like six million. I'm going to go higher. I'm going to go... Sorry, was this a year or was this on Pancake Day?

43:01On Pancake Day. On Pancake Day. Yeah. The rules keep changing. Is this on one day? So this is on pancake day? Yeah, how many pancakes are consumed in the UK every year on pancakes? Yeah, yeah. Six million, I'm sticking with it. Fuck.

43:19I'm going to go 500 ,000. Chris, what do you reckon? I'm going to go... That's fucking hell. That's a big gap. First of all, I guess is by one. I'm going to go three million. What did you say, Pete? Six million. you were the closest what's that 117 million

43:38Chris Stark: wow 117 million 117 million what's the population of the UK I've seen Ross eat 15 once wow that's a lot light work wow that is a lot yeah alright well good luck with that one guys alright question number three which barbecue was voted the best all round barbecue in Britain by the Independent in 2025. Well, there's only one man for this. I'd be surprised if you could name a brand of barbecue, to be honest. I don't think I could name it. There is a few, isn't there? You've got Webber, and you've got Komodo. Green Egg. You've got the Green Egg. You've got Fire Black, is it? Yeah. Yeah, you've got your Master Builds.

44:23You've got your...

44:29What's the best though, Chris? I think that's subjective, that. Best all rounder. Best all rounder. Best all rounder. I think you're looking at a kettle barbecue. If you're saying price point, I think it's a charcoal barbecue, reasonably priced. I'm going to go for a Weber kettle. It's a Broilking 310. It's a gas. Hold on, I've got one of those.

44:56Chris Stark: Have you? Yeah. A gas barbecue. Vote for the best barbecue in 2021. Apparently so, yeah. Mate, you've got to appeal to the masses. It was by the end of the day. I think the game's gone. That is disgusting. The game's gone. The game's gone now. No, you see, the thing is here, it's not, you've got to remember, it's not pretentious, you know, people aren't pretentious around their barbecues. It's an all-round barbecue. It's an all-rounder. But it's not, it can't do, can't cook charcoal. You're at a very select, you're like the 1 % barbecue. It's not that niche. The idea of cooking and coals is something ingrained in all of us.

45:28We're all cavemen. that do you think more people cook it with gas or coal I think more people cook yeah I think more people cook with gas but that's you could apply that to anything no I think it's more people just because more people do it doesn't mean you should it's convenience isn't it best all round barbecue that he's distraught with that is that disappointed you no I just don't think that's right

45:51Chris Stark: it's well there's real potential for that as well yeah the listener there are a few questions that we've had to get rid of because we fucked it but this one apparently is right source from the independent the independent newspaper what are they now? have you ever cooked off any disposable one? I have done in the past yeah I used to have a quickie in Pin Memorial sorry did a quickie in Pin Memorial Pin Memorial part yeah we're sort of you know quick one went through a little stage of just having one or two of them in the back of the car and just sort of you know just for when you fancy one but you're on the move but it's not good for the environment no it's not good for the environment you know you shut away from them and also I don't think you're allowed to do barbecues in Penna Memorial Park I think that's the other thing as well yeah do you not I imagine you don't rub your meat before you do a quickie no no that's that's literally like you know if you're driving around you just you know when you just fancy it it's a quick should we pull over have a quick barbecue and then you can those things were great weren't they because you'd literally light it would go straight straight It's good for camping and things like that.

46:58Yeah, exactly that, Pete. But no, I wouldn't, I don't know. Look, it's clearly, I can't argue with the national paper, but I'm not sure about that one.

47:06Chris Stark: Yeah, I think he's disappointed in that. Yeah, that is a disappointment. That's all right, okay. Let's move on. We move on. Next question. Which former Premier League player gifted Chris Stark a wheel of cheese? Oh, no, this one. Eric Cantona. It is Eric Cantona, yeah. Could you remind the listeners of the story of that? Yes, it wasn't actually me who was gifted the cheese as well. It was my mum. Oh, that's the... I remember that. Yeah, for a period of my life, Eric Cantona was sending my mum cheese. I was young, so I don't know quite what she's done to merit that. There was a rumour that Chris was presenting the Eric Cantona's.

47:41No, Peter. Oh, I love Charles. That's a scandalous thing to say. No, but no. I just don't know why you get cheese like that, you know? I think there's, I don't understand the full story here. There was a, I remember one day I was looking through a photo album, right? Because you know, your parents had photo albums. It's not like everything was printed. And we were going through the photos. And on one of them, there's a group of lads. They're at a wedding and they're holding up a football, like a guard of honour with a football for someone's wedding. And I looked at this thing. I must've been about eight years old, nine years old.

48:18I was like, mum, who's this here? and she goes, oh, that's Eric. I was like, that's Eric Cantona. She went, yeah. I was like, that's a very famous footballer, mum. She's like, oh, yeah. He used to play for Marseille. Mum was a French teacher, lived in France for a year. So I don't know what's happened there, but she didn't seem to know that. So suddenly when I realised my mum had some sort of connection with Eric Cantona, I asked her to get back in contact with him. and then some cheese started arriving at my house.

48:56Chris Stark: It's an unbelievable story. It's unbelievable that your own mother can keep it quiet, that there is some sort of... But I've never quite got to the bottom of what's going on. I don't think it was anything nice. No, I'm not even messing with that. You can't throw those sort of accusations around. No, no, no. There's just something that was brought up last time. All the same, mad, because I remember my mum said, can you send my son a little something? so sure enough he sends a box of cheese to my house to my mum and there's a little note in there which I've still got and it says to my little English friend me you know there's a little message there in French from Eric it's just stained with cheese in the corner of it wow what was cheese was it nice cheese must be good cheese I'd like to have tried that cheese you like a cheese boy I like a cheese I like cheese yeah he wouldn't send no dodgy cheese no that's what I mean it would have been it would have been top but yeah really really mad one that my mum seemed to know him or was friends with him but didn't I don't think realised he was playing for Man United at the time or just before amazing it's insane isn't it great story that brilliant have either of your mothers ever been sent cheese by a footballer no yeah cheese very interesting well last question Chris famously got a Desmond for his politics and international relations degree but which university did he intend oh Southampton it was I was going to say Southampton Southampton yeah nailed it right well that wraps up the the quiz quiz day yeah I'm not sure are we done no I think I think it's a bit shit I think it was the whole thing was a bit shit really yeah it was quite shit thanks for trying though James yeah we blame Ross for that one no I think the idea of a quiz is a good one I think it was you know don't be upset about it it was pretty tough I thought you were they were quite hard questions tough ones I think we should have got my wife in to read it again it's no offence to you Jamie I just think it would have been definitely have to do that for the next one yeah listen you know we love a quiz and I enjoy it I enjoyed testing myself hopefully you enjoyed it at home and let us know if you beat us I think if you've learnt one thing from this podcast today then hopefully it's been worth it cheers guys cheers thank you Jamie Cheers.

51:21Chris Stark: Hi, lads. I've got a few messages here. This was, hi, lads. Regards to your families. I thought it was about time we had a Peter Crouch 11. He's got Jan Sommer, Jan Save Our Sommer. That was a show I did. Nice. Virgin Van Dyke. Gianluca Crouch Fester. Yep. Pedro Porro overhead kicks. poor overhead kicks Steve Didwell pulling Abbie Clancy he says Dean Whiteheaded Goals nice Mikel San Marino yes 100 Club Matter nice João Pedro Bot that's good João Pedro Bot nice Don Goodtouch for a big man Don Goodman Dominic Solanke yes Yes. Mostly done. Manager is Girafa Benitez. Cheers, lad. That's from John.

52:20Chris Stark: Nice. Well done, John. Good work. Good work, John. Okay, hi Pete, Chris and Sidz. Regards to your families. After hearing another listener's idea on the pod about adding a second ball and extra time, I remember an idea my dad had years ago. Instead of adding extra balls to play, he had the idea of a golden goal, but with the added twist of removing players. So every three minutes of extra time, each team has to take a player off. and by the end of extra time it could be one on one if it hasn't been a goal it really makes it makes it really tactical 30 minutes as the managers have to decide whether to sacrifice attacking or defensive players or even the goalkeeper it'll never happen but what's your thoughts big fan of the pod cheers guys Nick from Ashington I love that I've actually I've actually had this have you?

53:04do you remember the Hong Kong tournaments yes Hong Kong sevens it was a seven style tournament and all the big teams used to fly out in the season and the later the latter stages of the tournament that's what happened really so there was a time I think it might have been literally five minutes and every minute a player had to come off and I remember Stacky was in goal and he was dribbling out dribbling out and I remember him shooting from like like whatever 25 yards because it was a seven side pitch so I've done this on a smaller scale it's actually really good I think it's great I mean really good that would be good yeah I like it yeah I think it's a great idea

53:43Chris Stark: let's do 1v1 for a Champions League final yeah it'd be brilliant wouldn't it yeah so if you do have 1v1 you'd have to take your keeper off at the end wouldn't you and be your best player on there or not or you end up in a situation where you you sort of do a David James and have the goalie up front do you want me you need that perfect player between both of them yeah interesting it's a great it's a brilliant brilliant idea I like it Nick as you say it'll never happen but it's a nice idea next week we've got we've got an amazing guest on John Obi-Miquel will be coming on I'm just going to formally apologise for one of the worst echoes I've ever produced in my life oh my god yeah remember that remember that yeah I think I've really apologised to him ever I'll say sorry to him but you know he's got lots to talk about I'm looking forward to that one great player looking forward to that a really good player very very good very underrated I know he won a hell of a lot but like when I played that Legends match I swear he could still play yeah easy he felt like he was definitely one of the best players on the pitch top guy as well back stronger next week back stronger let's do it we'll see you then