EP. 362 | Ask Us ANYTHING! Football Regrets, Best Nicknames & A Big Money Move To The Saudi League?

0:00Chris Stark: I just found out that around 67 % of people that watch us on YouTube don't subscribe.

0:05Tom Fordyce: Proper Carl behaviour.

0:06Chris Stark: So we've got a message for you. Hit it, Chris. Whether you're a brother or whether you're a mother, hit subscribe, hit subscribe. Ha, ha, ha, ha.

0:17Tom Fordyce: Hit subscribe. Hit subscribe.

0:19Peter Crouch: Ha, ha, ha, ha. Hit subscribe. Ha, ha, ha, ha.

0:31Chris Stark: Hello and welcome to that Peter Crouch podcast with me, Peter Crouch. Notorious ID and Gift Gaff are with me.

0:39Peter Crouch: No, we've got to get this right. So you're O2, you're Vodafone now. Yeah. How has it been for you this week? Because I feel like people have really got on board with this whole thing.

0:48Chris Stark: Well, they really have got on board, yeah. Lots of people get in touch. I've had lots of voice notes. Jimmy Bullard was one of them. He let me have voice notes. very excited by the gift gaff chat um love ashley young actually yeah young he texts me

1:04Tom Fordyce: ashley young actually young yeah honestly random ones out of nowhere a lot of friends of mine were just like crying just sending me like the the uh the screenshot of it but young he texts me and was like just like crying faces and just put gift gaff at the bottom everyone's jumping this everyone

1:23Chris Stark: what's it been like for you son how's it been it's been strange one isn't it because like i've

1:27Peter Crouch: had a couple of gigs um over the week as well and uh where people used to focus on the barbecues it now seems to be gif gaff on the mobile phones regards to your network you know it's like we're just in silly season now aren't we i just do love it i just really

1:49Chris Stark: love this podcast like the things it throws up really makes me happy regards regards your network It just shouldn't work, should it? It's a mobile virtual network operator, which is an MVNO that runs on O2's network, meaning it uses O2's mask for coverage. Slightly, they share the same signal strength and coverage, but GIFGAF can sometimes have slower data speeds due to network traffic, and it's a budget-friendly model. Which is great.

2:20Tom Fordyce: It's like bunking on a train. It's like what? Bunking on a train. What does that mean? Well, like you're not paying for a ticket. in what sense gif gaff you're just you're riding o2's network

2:34Peter Crouch: no i'd like to i think the point of gif gaff here is

2:44Peter Crouch: what

2:47Chris Stark: defending your phone network

2:51Peter Crouch: i think you're paying over the odds for what you need on your tariff personally if I was to flick through what you maybe you're an exception but I don't think you need as much data as you think you do

3:02Tom Fordyce: well I've actually just signed a three year new a new three year deal have you really I've just signed a new contract extension with who breaking news yellow bar

3:11Peter Crouch: let's yellow bar it yeah

3:13Chris Stark: let's yellow bar it can we get it on the yellow bar please guys three years

3:17Peter Crouch: since it's pending you three years are you fucking meant three years

3:23Chris Stark: it was

3:24Tom Fordyce: it was an outrageous terms. Worth it? I couldn't take it down. Good terms. Three years, Sid. Yeah, it was a pound more for unlimited data.

3:35Tom Fordyce: It was unlimited for four phones. Me, my wife and the two kids. No way. Yeah.

3:40Peter Crouch: That does sound competitive.

3:41Chris Stark: It's a no-brainer, to be fair. What about you? Are you having thoughts? I'll tell you why I'm having thoughts, right? You know your phone listens to just don't deny it. It definitely does, right?

3:50Peter Crouch: It does what, sorry? The phone listens to you, right? and you get whatever, however it works.

3:55Chris Stark: I got this on the way home from here. Hello, thanks for being a valued Vodafone business customer. Just to let you know, from April 1st, 2026, your monthly plan will be increasing by£1.50. Excluding 20 % VAT. Excluding! Excluding VAT. This may change if you've upgraded since 1st November. Price increases will be pro-rated and applied to your March 26th bill. Stop it. As you pay for your plan, one month in advance, select add-ons, this, this, this bit. Whilst we understand this may not be welcome news, no fucking shit, just increase the money. Why are you increasing it? So after a conversation that we've had.

4:38Chris Stark: After a conversation, right, and they know we're talking about them, they've gone, he's been here 10 years. So I've been here 10 years. Instead of rewarding me with a testimonial, get£1.50 on the top of my bill.

4:48Peter Crouch: And this is what they all do, Crouchy. They don't appreciate you. you need to move to a network that will

4:53Chris Stark: well this is the problem because I'm part of it's part of a global brand aren't I

4:56Peter Crouch: you know what I mean they're paying for Lewis Hamilton and all that sort of stuff Lewis Hamilton's getting paid

5:02Chris Stark: and I'm getting charged 150 more

5:03Peter Crouch: I'll tell you he's earning on Vodafone Roman Kemp that's what you're that's basically what you're doing you might as well cut out the middle man and just go sling him your£1.50 yeah Vodafone

5:14Tom Fordyce: Vodafone went as soon as Man United went really yeah it just it's a contrast isn't it

5:21Peter Crouch: it just doesn't excite me anymore. I used to be excited by them, but there's just nothing about them that excites me anymore.

5:29Tom Fordyce: So you're, hold on a minute. So you're, you're being charged more money for, and you're not getting any, anything else. My loyalty is basically,

5:36Chris Stark: it's like, I mean, it's what you get for the big clubs, isn't it? You know what I mean? If you're performing. Oh yeah. You're flavoring the month.

5:43Peter Crouch: Yeah. And if you're not, but I am, you're a, you're a guy who puts so much emphasis on loyalty. as well. This isn't even a money thing anymore. You know, that's a significant increase there, but it isn't even about the money. This is a principal thing, I imagine, for you.

6:00Chris Stark: The thing is with me now, I know Sid's is happy he signed a three-year deal. I potentially could be a free agent in there.

6:09Chris Stark: All I'm saying is I'm potentially a free agent. I'm not sure I'm going to sign again.

6:16Peter Crouch: You're such a massive name for one of these networks, aren't you?

6:20Chris Stark: Listen, I could become available. I'm in my prime sense at the minute. Well, I'm using a lot of data, making calls. You are, you're travelling a bit.

6:28Peter Crouch: You're travelling quite a bit as well. Data roaming. Bit of roaming. Could be a big coop. This could be a big coop, this one. This could be massive. Did GiveGaff come back to us with... Well, yes, they did. They got in touch with me, actually. Did they? And they said, look, we appreciate your ongoing support. What have you got? I've got SIM cards. there's one for you Sid

6:52Chris Stark: one for you there and it's£10 for 40 gigs you can't argue you can't argue the numbers are attractive

7:01Tom Fordyce: £10 for 40 gigs I was I was paying I think 20 quid for 50 gigs yeah

7:06Chris Stark: I mean it was 20 gig for tenner

7:13Tom Fordyce: that's interesting wow so I think we Look at that. I mean, I'm happy at the moment, but we can always put it to the side. What's Ashley Young on out of the country? Should have asked.

7:27Peter Crouch: Should always ask.

7:28Chris Stark: Always ask, okay.

7:29Peter Crouch: That's what it is from here on in. We need to know.

7:32Chris Stark: Yeah, yeah, yeah. I love the fact that all the listeners got involved in the DMs, didn't they, on YouTube, whatever it is, and just saying what network they're on. I didn't realise quite how many there were on now. Tesco mobile's out there as well, isn't it? That's another one. Let's go mobile.

7:48Tom Fordyce: Yeah.

7:48Chris Stark: Talk, talk. Talk, talk.

7:50Peter Crouch: Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's interesting. A few players. It'd be interesting. I'm really interested to see where you go with all this.

7:57Chris Stark: Yeah, yeah.

7:58Peter Crouch: Free agent in this market is something special.

8:01Chris Stark: Yeah, yeah. I was going to ask you, Sid, do you feel like, no, because obviously you've done the free agent thing at Reading. What, was it nerve wracking? Obviously I don't want to get injured and stuff.

8:12Tom Fordyce: I think you've just got to play it cool. just you know you're in as you said you're in the prime of your life you know I think people will be begging yeah yeah and knocking on the door I think you just don't jump too early

8:25Chris Stark: I just don't want to be at a club for a while you know what I mean

8:28Peter Crouch: I can see why I get nervous in that situation

8:31Tom Fordyce: well it's just difficult if I don't have a club

8:33Peter Crouch: for a while

8:33Tom Fordyce: I think you've always got to stay strong and know what your value is and they will come knocking I'd like to go into pre-season settled if I'm honest

8:44Tom Fordyce: well you could get tied down early then yeah yeah pre-contract coming up yeah okay all right

8:49Peter Crouch: what what's if you're in someone in your position because it was interesting when you got that season at Burnley it was interesting wasn't it because it was like a it was a it made a lot of noise you were a big signing I can't help but feel with with a gif gaff or someone like that you moving to them is kind of that, it's that move. They've got a big name player just at the right, do you know what I mean? You'd be big for them. You would be big. I mean, there's no denying that. As in like putting a well and tree on the map. I think so. But then it's that argument. You might not win trophies with them necessarily.

9:24Peter Crouch: But you'd feel loved.

9:25Chris Stark: You would be loved. Yeah, I would feel it, wouldn't I? I just feel like I'm part of a corporate machine at the moment.

9:37Chris Stark: oh so good

9:38Peter Crouch: oh the best do you know can you if you're on dating apps and stuff like that as well this is this is the question you need to ask this is the conversation style what phone network are you on do you know what I mean like it's it says so much about the person I think

9:53Chris Stark: I think it really does I think you can really tell a person by his network and I think like you say the dating apps maybe should be the first thing shouldn't it yeah like pets single vote folks

10:11Chris Stark: okay well listen lads before we get into the pod next part is supported by Paddy Power and before we get into the football week you know Cheltenham's coming up soon oh do I are we gonna go is anyone gonna go I'm gonna try and

10:21Tom Fordyce: get down there we was potentially gonna be away for it wasn't we but that trip has been postponed

10:27Chris Stark: it's on Thursday I think I'm going down Thursday with Paddy Power yeah

10:30Tom Fordyce: do you wanna come

10:31Peter Crouch: with you yes I remember the videos from last year yeah unbelievable you can go with us I have been to Cheltenham you are like I don't know what happens with Cheltenham you become even at I remember going through Paddington Station your face was like the entire concourse at Paddington Station was it? for Cheltenham

10:51Tom Fordyce: someone said the other day that you're a massive billboard in Dublin Airport with this new how do you

10:57Chris Stark: is there a new campaign

10:59Tom Fordyce: coming out? it's interesting to the interested advert yeah okay

11:03Chris Stark: is it dropping

11:04Tom Fordyce: around Cheltenham time is it around Cheltenham

11:06Chris Stark: yeah okay

11:07Peter Crouch: look forward to that you at Cheltenham I mean last year if I remember right it wasn't there there was something around you got behind the bar at one point

11:17Chris Stark: yeah I had to buy I had to buy a lot of pints I had a bet with Paddy and if the Irish horse won I'd have to buy the pints and if if a British horse won then I was he was buying the pints and he was a banker anyway it was a stitch up really Irish horse yeah yeah it was never in doubt

11:35Tom Fordyce: yeah for that race

11:37Chris Stark: in the Guinness village

11:37Tom Fordyce: that was it in the Guinness village yeah yeah it's brilliant isn't it I had a lot of Guinness that day how good is Cheltenham it's a great day isn't it it's a great day out do you know what I remember once I went years ago and Portsmouth were down there I don't think it was just before your time when you was down there Harry was down there I think like it was Tim Sherwood that sort of era and it was in between races at Cheltenham there was another race at wherever it was haydock or somewhere and harry's tip had slowly gone from box to box to box to box and everyone's obviously got a tv in their box so we're all watching this race before the next one comes on at cheltenham and everything before you know it someone's popped their head in the door harry said about this tip so everyone's on everyone's on and we're all watching it and you can hear this the stand where it was was shaking like every and everyone's roaring this this all's in and it and it it won it won i think yeah and everyone went into the pulse of box and like give harry like a little nod of approval yeah brilliant it was good you know that one when when

12:41Chris Stark: we were at spurs once i think jonathan woodgate organized a the lads ought to go down but on a helicopter right and harry got wind of this and said uh you lads aren't going to cheltenham no away we got a game on Saturday no problem then he found out later that he was going on a helicopter he said the only way you can go is if I'm on that helicopter so we got on so we got on and we went brilliant it's so good it is it's a great day Cheltenham

13:07Peter Crouch: so you'll be there that's you'll be at Cheltenham one of those days on the Thursday yeah oh my god we'll try and get there I'll have to get Friday off but we'll figure that out yeah alright that's mega that's changed that's changed my March That's changed my march.

13:23Chris Stark: That's changed my march. Well, it has.

13:25Peter Crouch: I've DJed there a couple of times. It's phenomenal fun, but everything I see. I do not experience FOMO. It's like Christmas Day for you, Cheltenham. It's unbelievable. And I just see it play out throughout the day. And then because they keep grabbing you for interviews and things, I keep seeing how the day is, let's just say.

13:47Chris Stark: It's so good. The Cheltenham Roar. let's do it alright

13:56Chris Stark: so this episode today lads these quite often are the best episodes where we read the listeners messages we've put out a post loads of people got in touch I mean we've been in a day with questions I think we should get into it let's get stuck in I like this yeah John Phillips says how did you all become friends in the first place and how did the pod begin would love to know the backstory of the pod Gordon Adam from your point of view Chris where did it all start for you because obviously we kind of were put together weren't we we were yeah we were like put together by the equivalent of Simon Cowell

14:32Peter Crouch: but they were at BBC 5 Live we were like One Direction so we were basically

14:36Chris Stark: a manufactured so what it was

14:41Peter Crouch: was Tom Fordyce who I saw recently by the way

14:43Chris Stark: I couldn't believe that yeah brilliant great catch up with him so he said he's going to come on right

14:47Peter Crouch: he's going to come on yeah we're going to do an episode where where Fordyce comes cycling back into this podcast.

14:52Chris Stark: Cycling straight back in.

14:55Peter Crouch: Wheels of steel like it's good it's gonna be great he'll be here in his lycra and there's lots to catch up on uh with him and he was looking really well and um sends his love sends his regards of course uh so let's get him on but I remember you obviously you and Tom were writing your book together. Yeah yeah so we I knew Tom from that really yeah. And what got told to me was uh there's some recordings of you doing that book and they're quite funny um but would i be interested in coming and getting involved at the time this was when it was on the bbc but no one was really doing podcasts it was more they just kind of left us to it um

15:32Tom Fordyce: so it was a new thing new like podcast in general was a new thing no one was really doing them or they weren't well there was people doing them but it was just different it wasn't like everyone was

15:42Peter Crouch: do it yeah I don't think

15:44Chris Stark: I think we were very early really certainly wasn't any football ones that I knew of I don't think there was a couple I think there was Ping Pong and Flintoff and Bullard did that one that was actually really good and Ricky Gervais had one and it was good as well

15:57Peter Crouch: but yeah we did it but I got I basically got asked because I was on Radio 1 I got asked you know because they knew I was a big football fan and they said about Crouchy potentially doing a little series with him would I be up for getting involved in that and and that's kind of where we met for the first time we recorded one it was it was a right laugh i remember you you got bought into this room i remember i don't know if we've really spoken about it but i remember everyone really fussing because you only had like four 40 minutes it was like we had to be very strict with timings it was somewhere in stoke it was a hotel that you're staying in stoke you had limited timings and people walked in and then they were like right first thing you got to do is have a picture together they dressed me and fordice up like the Funhouse twins.

16:45Peter Crouch: Red shirt, blue shirt. It was like that, yeah. If you find the very first picture of us, which whack in if you're watching on YouTube, you'll see we look like the Funhouse twins. That was pretty much the first time we met. And then we sat down, did a podcast, and it was right off.

16:58Chris Stark: Yeah. Do you know what year that was?

17:01Peter Crouch: No.

17:02Chris Stark: We must be coming up to a 10-year vibe. Mate, someone told me we're not far away from 400 episodes. Seriously.

17:12Tom Fordyce: I mean is that right

17:13Peter Crouch: I know our maths is sometimes

17:15Tom Fordyce: That is football heritage I would say you're near You're near 10 years I remember listening to you guys At Brighton And that was like 2016 to 2018 2018 there you go

17:24Chris Stark: So 2018 Wow We started So yeah Two more years And we're We're at a magic test There's got to be a Crouchfest On the 10 year Has to be We've got to do something Yeah We have to mark it somehow Yeah Wow

17:40Peter Crouch: Yeah I think so I mean all ideas for that welcome but like I still think do you know that idea we had about a little tour but of all clubs that you've played for I still think that would be fun we find a boozer that's big enough so we can have a load of people there let's say it's Burnley or we do Liverpool we do a little tour maybe a little tour bus something like that we get into a local boozer get a local artist a player from that team an ex-player from that team and just do a podcast on each one

18:09Tom Fordyce: that's a nice idea isn't it that is good I think that'd be fun as well so like Crouch Fest

18:14Chris Stark: but on tour and in pubs nice yeah basically it's a massive pub crawl I'm trying to justify it

18:22Peter Crouch: in a work sense a national a national pub crawl we're going to booze every day

18:27Chris Stark: it's the Crouch Bar Crawl

18:29Peter Crouch: yeah

18:30Chris Stark: okay and we're going to listen to some music and we'll put on a band in each one or something like it could be a local band

18:37Peter Crouch: could be

18:37Chris Stark: you know

18:38Peter Crouch: one of our friends that this will work I like it this will work something like that something big and new to celebrate you know get planning lads okay alright put that into motion

18:49Chris Stark: cheers for the question though John where did you two first meet though?

18:54Tom Fordyce: we would have played against each other when we was Spurs and Arsenal when we were Spurs and Arsenal definitely and then I think the first team would have been England under 21s yeah England under 21s so we would have been in camp a few camps and then Sardinia was definitely one of them Sardinia yeah that was definitely one of them that was a great one that wasn't it and David Platt

19:14Chris Stark: yeah we're only waiting there because David Platt had a house there yeah how good was that he was the manager David Platt what's he booked we did like a tour we did like a training camp in Sardinia yeah all because his house was near yeah

19:29Tom Fordyce: I didn't know that brilliant amazing so we had a good we had a good group in that yeah and then from there we then we started going out. Yeah. You're seeing you on the scene.

19:41Chris Stark: Yeah. You saw me in my double denim, maybe. Double D's, yeah, my birthday.

19:45Tom Fordyce: My birthday. My 21st. That was it. At Elysium. Elysium, yeah.

19:50Peter Crouch: Is that sounds good? What's that?

19:52Tom Fordyce: No, it was a nightclub. Was it? Good one. Where? It was the, it used to be the, Cafe Royal. Cafe Royal. Cafe Royal. Yeah, hotel. Yeah. And the good thing is, I might tell this story just very quickly. when I was at Brighton on loan, when I was about 19, we tried to get in there, couldn't get in there, me and Bobby Zamora, got literally pied at the door, tried to sneak in, got armed out. Literally two weeks after that, I signed for Reading, and we tried to go in again, and the fella that basically owned the nightclub was a massive Reading fan, and he'd just give us everything. The best table, because at that time,

20:34Chris Stark: everyone was there, wasn't they? All the Chelsea lads was in there,

20:36Tom Fordyce: and like the Reading lads had the best table like the number one on the dance floor brilliant was it

20:42Chris Stark: do you know I always remember this do you remember those little PFA cards that you used to get right so it was like you're a member of the PFA a card you get it in the post so obviously we're in the youth team right we're struggling to get into these places you know someone said to me you've got to just show them your PFA card so we said obviously pioneers again probably still underage and I just went yeah mate footballer mate and that would get you in I'd give a fuck mate I've never seen you before

21:20Peter Crouch: so you'd have a little card to sort of prove that you were a footballer

21:23Chris Stark: stay at that though seriously if you've got to show that you shouldn't get in anyway

21:29Tom Fordyce: but sometimes it did work as well though didn't it and then just give the old sometimes

21:33Peter Crouch: so were you at his 21st

21:35Chris Stark: No, was it 21st?

21:37Tom Fordyce: Yeah, my 21st birthday, yeah.

21:39Peter Crouch: I thought he was younger than that. That's crazy to think.

21:42Chris Stark: Yeah, so that's a long time ago, that. So yeah, we've known it for a long time.

21:48Peter Crouch: I would love to ask more about that night. I assume it was a good one, yeah.

21:53Chris Stark: We'll tell you all about those nights.

21:55Peter Crouch: Yeah.

21:56Chris Stark: They were very good.

21:58Tom Fordyce: Right, okay, Aidan Finn has come along. Lads, let's reverse roles. what radio station would Crouchy and Sid like to present on and which of the teams they've represented would Starkey like to play for that's a good question that is good I enjoy that

22:15Chris Stark: well you've you've done a bit of presenting

22:18Tom Fordyce: Radio X Radio X

22:20Chris Stark: that was it yeah I enjoyed it yeah the kind of best part of my day was when Johnny Vaughan had to hand over to me and he's a legend yeah and he's very quick and funny and i remember i'd sit there and obviously i'm totally new to this thing and i'm trying to do a show on my own and uh he would do something like he like horrendous before i'm about to go on so like they're counting down like five till you go live and then he would say the most horrific thing to me right like horrendous and like put a question so i don't even tell you what you would say. So, so,

23:02Tom Fordyce: so,

23:02Chris Stark: but no one can hear it. No one can hear it because he's just before about to go on air. Yeah. He'll go, yeah. Favourite murderer. Right? So now I'm thinking of like Ted Bundy, Yorkshire Ripper and we're, and, and we're literally like about to go, right? But he knows I'm in trouble thinking, oh my God, like what's going on? We're about, we're on actually live now and then he just obviously clicks back into, he's obviously just messing with, with my, your head. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Brilliant.

23:32Tom Fordyce: So when you were doing that, was you literally left your own devices?

23:35Chris Stark: I had a producer, obviously.

23:37Tom Fordyce: But yeah.

23:38Chris Stark: I played a lot of music.

23:40Peter Crouch: It's a hard job, mate. It's tricky. I think we should do a bank holiday show. Maybe Radio X is a good shout, actually. We should do a little Radio X bank holiday show one time. I think it'd be fun. But you know what?

23:55Chris Stark: It's one of those things. It's like when we do TNT and stuff like that, right? when you see the presenter actually when they're when they're top level it's a real skill and I think you know we're footballers we're not we're not in the media I think we're you know we love doing this I've been doing this a while now and I think we're okay but we're still not your level you know what I mean at what you do it's top tier skill it's all different we all get grouped together

24:20Peter Crouch: I think this is why obviously this podcast is good for a number of reasons it's good that we're all grouped together on this but But I would say you're better radio presenters than I am footballer. I think of the two things. But I don't know what team I would play for.

24:37Tom Fordyce: Yeah, that's... Who would you... The teams that we've represented, who would you like to play for? Obviously, we know you love Watford. None of us played for Watford.

24:47Peter Crouch: I think it would be... If I'm answering really honestly here, rather than just going Liverpool, I'd say I'd probably say Villa there's a few teams oh yeah I'd probably say Villa that was good just because they're so it's like the heritage of it the kit the ground everything would just be a sort of dream as a kid QPR as well even I'm I think QPR for me is like when I was a kid in the playground a load of the lads used to we used to pretend we're in QPR. And obviously I then found Watford. I went to school in Watford and went to a game and fell in love with it. But when I was sort of five, six years old, I was obsessed with QPR.

25:32Peter Crouch: We'd do birthday parties and you'd get a tour around QPR. It was the nuts. So I think being able to play for QPR would be unbelievable.

25:41Tom Fordyce: Yeah, nice. I would jump onto Capital. I'm just saying it because we do listen to you in the mornings when I do the school run. You do message occasionally. We do as well.

25:50Chris Stark: The kids love it, don't they? they're great they are good and you've kept

25:55Tom Fordyce: a bit of heritage there as well because I mean I listened to it all the time when I was a kid when Chris Tarrant was doing it and the Bond game which is still going and I would if I was to do it I would get Les out of retirement and get in his helicopter and I'd bring back the weather report yes and send out

26:13Chris Stark: could you remember what was it the something I

26:16Tom Fordyce: I in the sky and it'd be and it'd be like yeah we're over the junction turn on the M25 and there's a towel back to junk grenade.

26:25Chris Stark: We can do that. Can you bring back the Irones guy and Steve said we'll be that man. But that was like, you know where, it was like

26:32Peter Crouch: where football was different. Radio then, there was, I think, so much money in it that they would just have a helicopter above, I mean, if you really think about it, it's bollocks as well. It's actually a mental expense. But you've got a helicopter over one road, haven't you? I mean, it's not like you can... Can I see the rest of the country? No.

26:51Chris Stark: no it's actually completely pointless for being up there it's totally pointless just call it if you're in a traffic jam yeah there's loads of people listening yeah there's a traffic jam here and then you go I didn't just relay that

27:01Peter Crouch: rather than going you know so so eye in the sky and then some someone's in a fucking helicopter he's got to be up there for the whole show but the money that they're burning

27:15Chris Stark: it's a little different time right

27:17Peter Crouch: but I was changing a class radio back then I bring that back. I would bring it back. Yeah, well, let's send you up, Sid. It's like, these are all great ideas. You're so right when you said, Crouchy, with these episodes, they're great. They are good. Because they're so good for like...

27:31Chris Stark: You know, there's one, Mark Wright used to do club classics on a Saturday night on Heart. Are you partial? Big fan. Big fan. I used to come back from football sometimes and quite after I'd be driving, might be driving back down to London from say, I don't know, whatever I was. and club classics.

27:51Peter Crouch: Yeah.

27:51Chris Stark: You don't talk that much, but you just play bangers. Yeah, but this is what I mean.

27:55Peter Crouch: I think there's a place for us because if you combined podcast, this podcast and some banging tunes, I think we've got a lethal radio station there. Don't you think? Well, I do. Yeah, I really do. Just figuring out how we'd go about that. Because we all love our music as well. We love our music.

28:17Tom Fordyce: bands love these you know solo artists everyone loves his pod yeah i might struggle at four in

28:22Peter Crouch: the morning though yeah that's the thing i get up at four for that do you know one thing we don't have in my work that you have in yours which i think would be an interesting concept for my job and other people's listening jobs as well training like you normalize the idea that you have one performance a week but you do training every day if you really think about it no other job really does that yeah that's true you go on the odd course here or there but you don't every day do a bit of training to build up your job yeah you just play matches every day aren't you whereas imagine like how fucking good i'd be at the radio if i trained every day i mean i'm on every day but yeah but you trained as well i mean no it's just and then apply that to every job every day you had a training session yeah i never thought that wait didn't it yeah

29:11Peter Crouch: I always think like if you're a mechanic or something if you're listening right now and you do that be like oh I've got training I've got training in the morning I've got training in the morning

29:21Chris Stark: I've got a big MOT this afternoon

29:22Tom Fordyce: obviously we would have we would have had appearances right so like when we finished it would have been like yeah 500 appearances or yeah do you know how many shows you've done no

29:32Peter Crouch: well that's a good question you've been doing like uni radio before that no yeah yeah I did uni radio before that and then and then like trying to get into radio you do you take on jobs but I think I started at Radio 1 when I was 22 or 23

29:48Tom Fordyce: that's gonna be

29:48Peter Crouch: a good number you're right and but not just my radio shows the thing is this is the kind of arrogance of footballers as well that you call every time you do your job an appearance like if everyone listening right now just did that with their job do you know what I mean how many appearances have Sally got I get it because they go

30:10Tom Fordyce: they've been working there for 10 years an appearance and you've been paid well

30:14Chris Stark: 30 ,000 appearances

30:18Peter Crouch: I mean let's normalise that

30:20Chris Stark: a Barclays bunk

30:23Peter Crouch: you know I know we ask you to do a lot when you email in but if like you can let us know your phone network and how many appearances you got

30:33Chris Stark: I love I love when we take the football world into real life? Do you know, like, wherever you're working, you know, just let us know how many appearances you've got

30:42Peter Crouch: and service providers. The man, you get paid to do your job, right, and you go and get, it's called an appearance, you're given a cap every time you do your job. Apply that to any other job and people would think it's mental. Yeah,

30:57Chris Stark: it's a bit strange, yeah. I appreciate

31:01Peter Crouch: it's a different world, but it's, you know. Yeah,

31:03Chris Stark: it's a strange world. Okay. All right, good question. Well, I've got one for you here. It says one for Starkey. It says Sam D93. One for Starkey. Shag, marry and avoid. Sam Allardyce, Alan Pardew and Tony Pulis. I'm not quite sure why that one's just for you. Yes, presumably.

31:22Peter Crouch: It's clearly someone needs to know. Someone really needs to know. Sam 93 needs to know there. Oh, God. Might actually be from Sam Allardyce. Have you seen them three in the adverts? they are actually quite good

31:37Tom Fordyce: aren't they

31:37Peter Crouch: together well I'm probably not shagging Sam Allardyce so that comes down to Pardew and Poulis I'll tell you what I do I'll tell you what I do I'm shagging Pardew I'm marrying Poulis just because I know he's a family man he'd look after you he'd really look after you Sadly, it means I'm avoiding Sam, but I think that's probably the right answer. Feels right.

32:08Tom Fordyce: Yeah, I can see that. I can't picture it, but I can see it.

32:12Chris Stark: Well, I've just pictured you shaking Alan Pardew. It's not ideal.

32:18Peter Crouch: The messages continue. We've got one here from Johnny Legacy. What now? I hope that's his real name.

32:24Chris Stark: Can you imagine being called Mr. Legacy? Mr. and Mrs. Legacy.

32:29Peter Crouch: That's something else, isn't it? Sids and Crouchy if you could go back in time and play one game over again which one would it be and why I know straight away Champions League final

32:40Chris Stark: Athens Liverpool v.A. Yeah yeah just it just the hits different when you're a Champions League winner I think I was so close and we could have beat them

32:53Peter Crouch: yeah it's yeah ah

32:55Chris Stark: fuming good that's big that isn't it it's the one it's just the one that got away you know it puts you in another bracket

33:03Peter Crouch: doesn't it if you win the Champions League

33:04Chris Stark: well it does I think yeah you know I've got a fucking Valspar colour sample up there it could be a Champions League winner's medal you know it's a chicken hanging off a hundred goals it's not a you know there's not much I love the turmeric shots Hal Robson-Khanu it's not a Champions League winner's medal is it even the Guinness World Record there oh yeah you'd swap it all

33:36Peter Crouch: it's not a Champions League medal is it you'd swap it all I think you hold yourself differently if you win the Champions League don't you you you become this sort of I don't know it's just so elite yeah

33:47Chris Stark: yeah because there's elite and then there's a like that's big yeah that's huge I think it's bigger than I'd rather that than a Premier League

33:56Peter Crouch: winners medal personally yeah but then you look at an Emmanuel Petit and you look at elite elite World Cup World Cup yeah yeah that's big

34:09Tom Fordyce: yeah mine would be I was yeah I mean you've gone back to Res sort of Resurrect 1 haven't you I'm going to go back to I'm going to go back can I go back to 2 and there was back to back these games yeah and it's when we got promoted with Reading and it was Reading v Leicester away at the King Power and we got promoted. So the journey back was brilliant. You can imagine all of us are young. You just want to recreate that? I'm just reliving that moment. The game was great as well. But the whole day, so you can imagine we're all young. None of us have played in the Premier League before. Some of us have been in academies where we've not made it and we've had to come down the step to go back up.

34:55Tom Fordyce: So that journey back, we had beers on the bus. we all went out as well that night. And then the whole week training was great because we played Derby at home. And if we beat Derby, if we won the game, we was champions. And then we beat them 4-1 or 5-1. And again, after the game, we went up to the director's box in our kits and celebrated with the chairman and the directors. And I somehow, I think there's a picture of me somewhere. I got the mascot, Kingsley the mascot. I had his head, I took his head off

35:25Chris Stark: and I've got it like aloft and again

35:29Tom Fordyce: we all went out as well so that spell was absolutely brilliant and a good time of our lives yeah so I'd go back to that moment

35:37Chris Stark: yeah you see if you're doing it like that as well like I think there's a couple that spring to mind for me like certainly the FA Cup win we won in Cardiff with Liverpool yeah and then we all came back to Liverpool would you have got a bus back there or did you fly I think we might have flown I think because we got back quick

35:53Tom Fordyce: yeah

35:53Chris Stark: because we got back quick to Liverpool and then we went out to Almudicuba.

35:58Peter Crouch: Does it actually get you back quick? So when you get on the plane, you haven't, you haven't got too much fussing it. Yeah, kind of a private,

36:05Chris Stark: terminal private plane. So the bus goes, like, you all just pretty much straight

36:09Peter Crouch: and then the plane pretty much goes. You're up and down. Yeah.

36:12Chris Stark: Up and down. So then we were back in Liverpool and I remember we had the trophy, we carried it in to Almudicuba, medal, still trackies on, went upstairs and all the fans were downstairs and then when we, I've got a picture of me and Robbie Fowler and Gordie actually, shout out to Gordie. And we're leading over with the trophy. It's a great picture. You know, because Robbie Fowler was one of my absolute idols before. And, you know, the privilege to have played with him won the FA Cup. And I've got a picture of me and Fowler and Gordie all looking down at all the fans and buzzing. Amazing feeling.

36:48Tom Fordyce: Yeah. Great night as well. If you could bottle them. Yeah.

36:51Chris Stark: And the other one would be QPR. I think it was like really early on. There was an away game. I think I did quite well. And then we had a few beers, old school days. So four Fosters in the cup holders on every table. So everyone had a few beers there. I remember just going back and thinking like, not that I've made it, but like I felt at home, I was 19 years old, but I was with, you know, Gavin Peacock who I used to watch at Chelsea. Paul Furl Chris Kawamia Carl Reddy Steve Morrow some older players and I'm having a few beers with them and I'm kind of these are players I've looked up to and all of a sudden I'm on the bus with them then they're like do you want to when we got off the bus do you want to come for a few beers with us after the game I remember sitting in the pub just with these lads and going like oh this is amazing I'm one of them I'm one of them yeah love that I was so buzzing yeah like we just had a match there and instead of you know just being a match and going home with my dad or whatever I'm now having a few beers with the lads this is just I want this to be my life so much do you know what I mean special feeling

38:04Peter Crouch: that's class

38:04Chris Stark: I like that

38:06Peter Crouch: it takes that sometimes doesn't it going and actually having a beer with someone or like it helps

38:11Chris Stark: do you know what I mean

38:12Peter Crouch: take it out the normal world

38:13Chris Stark: that was there I just think it really helps you know like someone said this about I saw a clip about this you know like a lot of people now are like a T total and stuff, right? And, you know, of course, the health benefits are amazing. But there's a lot to be said for going out for a few beers with your work colleagues or, you know, some of the best things in my life have happened after a few beers. Some of the best conversations I've ever had are after a few beers. You know, we've fucking made mistakes on a few beers as well. I was going to say, it all bounces out, doesn't it? But I'm just saying, I think there is a time and a place for it, you know?

38:51Chris Stark: And I think certainly work environments and things. I'm all for it. You make friends, you see what people are about. You do. It is a, you know, I'm not advocating. No, no, no, but it's more what, you're not even just talking about the beer there.

39:07Peter Crouch: It's, the thing is having beers and being sat, chatting to people, for some reason it's okay when you have beer. it's more that whole experience and then being able to get out of a work environment and do something like that does bond you with people in a weird kind of way unless someone else invents another way of doing it that's the way it's worked for quite a lot of years

39:31Chris Stark: that's it I mean you know it just I think it's kind of ingrained in our culture isn't it let's go do you want to go to a pub or something like that maybe we should it should be something else

39:40Peter Crouch: when you say do you want to go for a beer it's not even the measurement of beer it's more like it's more like you're basically asking for it's like a quantity of time yeah

39:51Tom Fordyce: trying to go for a chat do you know what I mean but you basically

39:54Chris Stark: then it's not weird if you say go for a beer if I said to you should we go for a coffee you'd think ooh or if I said to you

40:01Peter Crouch: should we go and should we go and consume liquids next to each other for half an hour do you want to do you want to go for a quick sandwich pardon what do you fancy a couple of sandwiches do you know what I mean

40:14Chris Stark: it's odd

40:15Peter Crouch: it doesn't sound right it's not right it doesn't sound right but it's not really any different it's like

40:20Chris Stark: no

40:21Peter Crouch: do you want to come for a cycle with me would you like to come and consume some liquid calories next to me for

40:27Chris Stark: three four hours do you want to come and watch me change my service provider

40:36Chris Stark: alternative bonding it just doesn't feel correct no I don't know no no I know exactly what you're saying I'm with you it's not even advocating

40:46Peter Crouch: because it's hard because if you don't drink or anything it's you know but this is the exact thing like it can sometimes be tricky and awkward and actually fair play if you if you're that person that you know does it it doesn't you know can can be the totally themselves in those quite uncomfortable situations that sometimes get a bit lubricated up to make be made easier it's tricky

41:10Chris Stark: yeah that's all interesting chat isn't it we've got one for you here Chris this is from James Clemens he says do you have a Premier League team that you're fond of let's be honest Watford aren't making it any time soon

41:22Peter Crouch: there's always the playoffs that's what I say all season all season long it's always how many points you're off the playoffs you know until ultimately the end of the season I still think you're happy

41:36Tom Fordyce: being in the championship aren't you

41:38Peter Crouch: yeah I'm I'm sort of happy with it but I'd be happier with it if I felt like we were still in the championship but had a team that it's so clear that we've got a manager and this way of playing and you're just beaten by other teams then you sort of don't mind being in the league that you're in it's when you know you've got potential to do much more so is there a team that you're fond of? yeah at the moment Brentford I just think if you've been a fan of Brentford for the last seven years let's just say you have been rewarded totally with how it is there. And it's just brilliant. They're a prime example of a kind of club that we were playing against not too long ago, it felt like, in the championship.

42:19Peter Crouch: And they've just done everything right at every stage. I think they're so likeable. Great ground. Even the ground move and everything has been done right. Everything, yeah. And within their control, it feels like. And it's almost like they've enjoyed rising through the league, but they've enjoyed it by being disciplined.

42:42Chris Stark: there's never a truer word said than that they have enjoyed every moment but enjoyed it by being disciplined yeah they really have haven't they

42:50Peter Crouch: yeah yeah so I'd go Brent

42:53Chris Stark: I like that

42:54Peter Crouch: yes J.M. Chown hello if that's you what a name J.M. Chown J.M. Chown I've seen a couple of the names come in and they'd get better if anything wow J.M. Chown sounds like some sort of investment banker does doesn't he Who are you with? J.M. Chown. Who's hosting you today, Crouchy? J.M. Chown. It's even that way he's running for president. Mate, you'll be there answering phones on their charity day. You know, that's the kind of thing you do, isn't it? I've seen you pop up. J.M. Chown. Okay, if you had an offer to join the Saudi League at the end of your careers, would you have gone? That's a good question.

43:36Chris Stark: I think with this one, it's all about where you are in your life. I think, you know, if you've got the opportunity to win things, you know, like I think Van Dyke had the opportunity to go, didn't he? Or, you know, Mo Salah or something. I think you've got, you can still win the biggest trophies in the world. You're getting paid really well as well. But, you know, Ivan Toney, I kind of get. 100%. You know, it's like the live stuff, like, you know, with Poulter and, you know, I played with Poulter and Lee Westwood and people like that. Like, they've kind of had their careers. Yeah. It's a massive payday at the end of the thing for them.

44:18Chris Stark: I don't begrudge them, is what I'm saying. No, no, no, 100%.

44:23Tom Fordyce: It's one of them, you only go in there as your last paycheck. You're not going there for any other reason, for football or anything else. So let's get that clear. I think it's one of them whereas when you get to your career everyone's going to have different levels of wealth and when you finish as long as you're comfortable with what you've got I think then that's fine but I think there is a hindsight to this because now that I've finished and I'm six, seven years past retirement I'm 100 % going to

44:54Peter Crouch: the selfie league no one's looked at this question which gets asked a lot from six, seven years down the line.

45:04Chris Stark: Yeah. Yeah. The thing is, what I would say, if you are sitting there in Saudi, like Ivan Toni, right, and he's watching the World Cup and the Premier League and yeah, listen, I'm pretty sure he's comfortable financially but there's an element of you. Even when I left Liverpool, I remember when I played Real Madrid at Anfield and I think they won like four, or something, 4-0 or something like, 5-0, I think Stevie might've got a hat trick. I was like, I could have been there. You know what I mean? And, and I'm like, oh, fuck, you know. Yeah.

45:38Tom Fordyce: I had that bit of like,

45:40Chris Stark: oh,

45:40Tom Fordyce: like,

45:41Chris Stark: they're still playing massive games. Yeah. You know, and I'm still playing in the Premier League, but, I think if you're sitting there sadly, the league's not the best.

45:50Tom Fordyce: Nah.

45:50Chris Stark: And, there's an element of you that would, would, would regret that.

45:55Peter Crouch: Yeah. Yeah.

45:57Chris Stark: Yeah, I do see what you're saying but you're you know financially set up your kids kids kids kids yeah yeah for some of the money for me

46:08Tom Fordyce: if it had been now I I wouldn't have gone if if if if someone was asking me this question at the back end of my career before I got injured yeah I would have said I would have been like nah it's not for me if that makes sense do you know what I mean I'm rewinding when I retired six years ago yeah I get what you mean

46:26Peter Crouch: you're changing the context to the world a little bit but you wouldn't you wouldn't do that you wouldn't do a final I mean I don't know

46:35Tom Fordyce: or actually it's not even a final thing to Saudi

46:37Peter Crouch: it's like I don't know

46:43Tom Fordyce: it depends there's a lot to it isn't it it depends what offers are on the table it depends where you're right if you're like if you're like a Liverpool or where you can still potentially win things or if you're you know just in the Premier League and is that is that enough if you've done that for the 10-15 years you can do you know what it's one last hurrah you're going to get a payday you're going to live in the sun why not if if El Atifak radio

47:08Chris Stark: FM here we go I knew it El Atifak radio coming for you 25 times your wages you've got to go out there and do the radio there less listeners probably people won't hear you much from here 25 times what you earn you've got to stick with capital haven't you

47:27Tom Fordyce: you're just going to stick with capital you've got to stick with capital we've seen what Lility does exactly with Odafone and it gets you nowhere

47:34Peter Crouch: I think there is I've got to stick with capital seriously then

47:38Chris Stark: yeah absolutely yeah well it's difficult because you're at the top there aren't you

47:41Tom Fordyce: yeah I was going to say he's a

47:43Peter Crouch: but you know

47:44Chris Stark: if you're winning World Cups yeah you are winning World Cups I'm winning World Cups yeah I understand I understand the price

47:51Peter Crouch: yeah

47:51Chris Stark: element to this if you're Toby Anstis do you know what I mean you're all day you're all day but he's a veteran he's a veteran of the game

48:01Peter Crouch: he's a legend he's earned he's earned he's been a heart you know and then heart classics and everything he's been he's earned his payday that's what I mean he's someone

48:13Chris Stark: he's been top level for a long time top top top level Chris Evans someone like that like you know he probably doesn't need it does he but he's been in the game a long time is what I'm saying yeah yeah you know

48:27Peter Crouch: I think though if you get to the end of your career right I think you've earned loads of money right and I know it's all relative so this is easy for me to say but you're so highly regarded that you can get top money at Saudi Arabia right or I offer you you can you can pay because you basically you can pick any club and go and play for it and just live out that that dream that you might have had as a kid scratch the itch of you know okay it might not be one of the top clubs but I just mean you can round off your career at the club you started in or you can do something like that I think that chip there is worth a bit more than maybe people realise at the time and then as you say sometimes with hindsight you might go well yeah yeah there's a money side to things but also there's a way if you're able to choose a way to round off your career potentially and it be in your control you can go back and be the biggest player at your boyhood club what's the value in that?

49:22Peter Crouch: I wanted to go back That's QPR.

49:24Chris Stark: That's brilliant.

49:24Peter Crouch: But wouldn't that be amazing? What a way to round it off. And it would have been awesome for QPR. Everyone would have benefited in that. And you give one season just... I would have loved it.

49:34Chris Stark: Just that unfortunately didn't work out.

49:36Peter Crouch: Yeah.

49:37Tom Fordyce: Okay. Next one. Kyle Elwood. Will the sponsored warm-up jackets for Macclesfield be going on sale?

49:45Peter Crouch: I think they will, only because we were promised three of them, and I assume the guys working on here have already got them on eBay. Yeah.

49:52Chris Stark: I imagine so

49:53Peter Crouch: or they wear them

49:54Chris Stark: Ross has got it with your trainers no doubt 100 % 100 % million percent he nicks everything that comes as his obvious

50:03Peter Crouch: it's mad we occasionally get the odd message going did you get the dot dot dot that we sent for your trainers no absolutely not it's just just the way we work now

50:13Chris Stark: so what is going to happen with these we are going to do a signed giveaway nice of the jackets stay tuned and we'll let you know how to get them well these are really limited as well

50:28Peter Crouch: aren't they? because they were only for that FA Cup game one of a kind I don't think a podcaster has crossed over with a football team like that I really enjoyed it, I want to do it again it was so good, in case you missed this Macclesfield, FA Cup against Brentford they walked out wearing these jackets I think they were the only ones that were made was for the team, but obviously we've got a couple that we'll give away.

50:54Tom Fordyce: I think we've actually undervalued this. I think so. We've been part of the oldest club competition in world football. I agree, mate. Well done to everyone. Alright, well Michael Kippen says what's the worst Premier League kit of all time? Oh, that's a good one. Okay, I've got one that comes to mind. Two actually. For me one of them was the Man United half and half. Was it the green and yellow? Oh, yeah, yeah. I didn't really like that one. I know it's a bit iconic, but I didn't really like it. They had the lace-up, did it? Did they have the lace-up? Yeah.

51:31Peter Crouch: It looked slightly jockey, didn't it?

51:33Chris Stark: Yeah. A jockey. Yeah, I did. But there it is there.

51:37Tom Fordyce: I mean, it does remind me of Cantona, but... Good team in that. It was very good. It's just, I don't know, green and yellow. And then the other one was, I know it's a bit iconic, was the Arsenal, old Arsenal yellow one with the like, the bruised, the flicks. Yeah, this one here, like the little V's. Oh,

51:53Chris Stark: I think that's, I quite like that. Yeah,

51:55Tom Fordyce: but it's an iconic jersey, but it's not a nice one, is it? I know what you mean. It's different, isn't it? Yeah. They're the two

52:04Chris Stark: that jumped off the table to me. For me, the Kappa kits, just to fit on them. What's your time?

52:15Tom Fordyce: You had to be ripped to wear a Kappa kit didn't you? Wales. Did you wear it?

52:18Chris Stark: I didn't wear it. Thank God. Oh, I wouldn't have signed. I had Kappa at full. I wouldn't have signed. I wouldn't have signed. No, I just couldn't. Not my body shape. My long body. I couldn't wear that.

52:29Peter Crouch: We'll have a quick look. We're just looking on Google now at what it thinks

52:32Chris Stark: is the worst. Oh, look, here we are. There's a bit of a rascal. Liverpool. Is that Warrior? They were Warrior for a while, weren't they? Yes. White one. That is. It's pretty bad.

52:42Tom Fordyce: Yeah. Liverpool weight. Coming in fourth is Liverpool game.

52:46Chris Stark: third kit there purple and white warrior I think 442 have got a real problem with warrior I had this kit yeah I had that Chelsea kit grey and orange Chelsea kit it's an iconic one it's not great though is it it looks like

53:00Tom Fordyce: it's a two in the morning job isn't it

53:02Chris Stark: when your TV's just gone scrambled it was disgusting at the time yeah it's the girl holding that world you know what I mean the girl holding the world yeah why is she doing that who is she okay Forrester in at two with the bats

53:17Tom Fordyce: I feel like this is a countdown yeah Forrester in a two but I know what you're seeing radio

53:23Chris Stark: who's number one this week kids oh so this was the iconic one

53:27Tom Fordyce: was this the one that they got changed

53:30Chris Stark: at Southampton

53:32Tom Fordyce: Man United grey

53:35Peter Crouch: grey yeah they couldn't see each other apparently sponsored by Sharp View Cam is that a is that a camcorder yeah did you both have camcorders back in the day and would you take them on camps No. No. You didn't?

53:48Tom Fordyce: No.

53:49Peter Crouch: I bought a camcorder on a lad's holiday to Mallia, my first ever. It says more about me. I just loved not filming things per se, but I'd make little videos and spend hours editing them. What? Yeah, it's kind of, I guess, my job now. But I bought a camcorder. I remember being out in the strip in Mallia with this camcorder. You can't even imagine what that looked like.

54:12Chris Stark: Yeah.

54:14Peter Crouch: Walking around the corner for the first time, just zooming in all the reps and like it's a bit weird people trying to get involved

54:20Chris Stark: way way that's what I mean I'd love to see that footage shall I try and get hold of that footage

54:25Peter Crouch: I reckon it's in Loft or something like that I must be able to find it amazing be funny me 17 year old Malia camcorder it's probably good isn't it I think it will be good yeah brilliant

54:37Chris Stark: yeah just a Jay Mitz one here for Sid Mila Kunis or Puddings

54:44Tom Fordyce: come on Both massive. Yeah. I mean, Sidwell likes them both, but Mila Kunis is top drawer in shape. Have you?

54:52Chris Stark: Have you had Puddings? Yeah.

54:54Tom Fordyce: I went Double Pudding yesterday.

54:55Chris Stark: Did you?

54:57Tom Fordyce: Yeah.

54:59Peter Crouch: I did. It's almost like one of them support groups.

55:02Chris Stark: I went Double Pudding. Let's go Double Kunis.

55:10Tom Fordyce: What were the Puddings? one of them was a lemon and mango cheesecake I had a slither slither because I saved myself for the apple crumble it took half an hour did you make both of them? made the apple crumble did you?

55:27Chris Stark: yeah

55:27Tom Fordyce: and then that took half an hour so I went for the I went for cheeky one before you make your own

55:35Peter Crouch: apple crumble?

55:36Tom Fordyce: well not I do Mrs.

55:38Peter Crouch: S does right it. That's good. Custard. Standard. Hot custard. Oh, yeah. No, hot custard. And then just the slither of lemon. I don't really get on with lemon desserts like that. I wasn't

55:52Tom Fordyce: a big fan of it.

55:54Peter Crouch: Yeah.

55:55Tom Fordyce: Wasn't a big fan.

55:56Peter Crouch: And that's Steve Sidwell's put in review.

56:00Chris Stark: Okay. What's the best nickname you ever heard in the dressing room? That's from Graham Taylor. Maybe or not.

56:08Chris Stark: Graham Taylor.

56:10Tom Fordyce: the Graham Taylor best nickname

56:13Chris Stark: I think Fitzall obviously one size is pretty legendary isn't it well I mean there was a particular manager who was called the judge he looked like he had the wig the judge's wig and it was funny because his assistant was then started getting called the magistrate

56:39Tom Fordyce: that was that was a bell to that

56:41Chris Stark: the judge and the magistrate I like the magistrate that was a bell to that was really good yeah for me obviously Ed Still Sniper's Dream for me it's the best foot really one I've heard for a long time yeah Sniper's Dream Ed Still it is

56:59Chris Stark: okay one from Brad's 19 what is actually said in the pre-match huddle? Sid, have you ever given a pre-match huddle? You've been a skipper a few times. Oh, it's been loads,

57:07Tom Fordyce: isn't it? It's all the same sort of bollocks really, isn't it? It's like, come on, lad, like if you're at home, come on, lads, no one comes to our patch and turns us over, first tackle, first header, make sure we start strong and we're going for beers Do you ever giggle

57:21Peter Crouch: where someone's accidentally, you know, we're going to go in hard, we're going to go in firm, like... Yeah, to be fair, I'm not a fan of it on the pitch can I tell you what I think should be on the games gone board on this one go huddles after half time I saw Arsenal do this so they're kicking off the second half with a huddle before don't know where you stand on that see

57:45Tom Fordyce: again I think that's a lot of bollocks just do it in the dressing room yeah before you come out and then it's done no the whole stadium doesn't need to see that no it's a little bit

57:56Peter Crouch: it's a bit

57:57Chris Stark: performative maybe yeah just showing everyone that you're together yeah yeah it's the same you'd have had all these huddles it's the same kind of stuff

58:06Tom Fordyce: isn't it it's nothing really

58:09Chris Stark: I found when we did we did a huddle before the first World Cup game in Germany in Paraguay and we'd never done a huddle in any of the other games do you know what I mean so for me it feels like it's almost like a nervousness like let's prove we're together but then does that

58:26Peter Crouch: not make you when you're on the other team and you're not huddling are you not all looking at each other feeling a bit like oh we all hate each other we look like we

58:35Chris Stark: or you just be comfortable we're comfortable

58:38Peter Crouch: we've got this you ignore the huddle do you yeah do you think there's space in the game to introduce say the hacker or something like that instead of the huddle we start start with that something like that yeah just seeing something a bit more intimidating all lined up along

58:52Tom Fordyce: how good would that be what about all lined up

58:54Peter Crouch: along the line just staring at you

58:57Chris Stark: that would be good that something a bit different so a bit different okay time for one more thing it was one from Colin Stephen hi gents regards to your families just wonder what your thoughts are on the most missionary of all days at the weekend all four home teams winning 2-1 feel like it could be turned into a national holiday where we all commit to very beige acts to commemorate the results missionary at home and how did they stay 2-1

59:20Tom Fordyce: as well by the way yeah it was weird considering I know we're going to go into that part of the podcast but we none of us really had two ones well I got

59:30Peter Crouch: I got one of them and then yeah frustrating because a couple of my predictions were just sort of there or thereabouts United it was just ridiculous how they didn't get another goal in that you were asking

59:42Chris Stark: for a nine pointer so if someone does get a nine pointer we should reward that

59:47Peter Crouch: well this is another question if one of us gets a nine pointer

59:51Chris Stark: is that how many years I was going back spring of sprung oh great

59:59Tom Fordyce: this just reminds me who would stitch us that was it you licking them ice creams you've done us didn't you you done be dirty on that one yeah

1:00:07Peter Crouch: we should get some ice creams on one of these records and because it's I reckon that was probably a year ago since we last licked one on camera was it yeah so we good to good to go again I guess probably was a year either way so yes if one of us gets a nine pointer I think we need to have a plan in place because it's going to happen on a Sunday so part of me thinks we should all run to the nearest airport and head out somewhere like do something or we do some sort of big gesture like a big thing to charity something like that that could be nice you know yeah that'd be nice because that is huge a nine pointer

1:00:49Chris Stark: well it's like a nine darter isn't it it's harder it's harder than nine darter yeah yeah one four seven and a hole in one

1:00:55Peter Crouch: yeah but yeah if we do get a nine pointer something big's got to happen I don't know if we all like you and you listening as well we all just run to Ealing do you know what I mean have a quick pint like Sunday night pint in there and then we'll go back to our own what pub's there oh yeah

1:01:13Chris Stark: Duke of Kent lovely one should we do that should we just say Duke of Kent Duke of Kent yes

1:01:19Peter Crouch: so if there's a nine pointer which likely will happen on a Sunday often everyone head to Duke of Kent in Ealing even if it's just for a swift one and then we'll go back home we'll do the podcast are you talking about listeners as well? yeah absolutely anyone just part of yeah

1:01:34Chris Stark: we'll all be at the Duke of Kent if someone gets a loan we'll all be there if you'd like to come and have a pint with us you can if not don't worry you have to drop whatever you're doing

1:01:43Peter Crouch: do we know the landlord there? no I worry we're signing no we don't well provisionally a pub will get put out on the social but if you don't hear anything just head to the Duke of Kent let's do it alright let's do that

1:01:54Chris Stark: more for that Okay We'll talk about Willink Shall we get into it Yes

1:02:03Chris Stark: Current standings Chris on 47 You had a slight Comeback there Chris Five points wasn't it I just got the one point I'm on 54 And Sid's on 57 Good week for you Sid Chris

1:02:14Peter Crouch: Yeah it was a good one For me yeah As I say So close to getting A couple of extra Valuable points there The 3-1 at United That my I can't remember if my wife predicted that one. But anyway, the 3-1 at United was so, so close. Arsenal as well. You almost had 3-1 there. And Arsenal as well. Yeah. Frustrating. Really frustrating. Because that nearly came off. Especially with both of those games having a red card in. It felt like there was another goal or two in there. But it just wasn't a B. It was a missionary day.

1:02:44Chris Stark: Not to be a missionary day. Okay. We'll get into the games now quickly. Newcastle United versus Manchester United. Yeah. lost didn't they to Everton Newcastle yep United not at their best still still won again

1:03:03Tom Fordyce: still won Michael Carrick's on fire still going brilliant this is at Newcastle as well isn't it Cesco seems to have come good as well yeah he started deserved to start as well great goal great goal how big is he huge isn't it do you know what I like about Cesco is his movement you know when the cross comes in used to be really good at it I know sometimes he used to go to the back to hang up, but he just gets in front of every defender.

1:03:28Chris Stark: Yeah, really good. Love that. Great head of that.

1:03:30Tom Fordyce: Yeah, really good.

1:03:31Chris Stark: I enjoyed it.

1:03:33Tom Fordyce: Newcastle are at home to Manchester United. Man United are up to third, by the way.

1:03:39Peter Crouch: It's amazing what he's done, really. Yeah, especially when you consider the language that was kind of towards United at the start of the season.

1:03:47Chris Stark: Yeah.

1:03:48Peter Crouch: You know? Unreal. Just flicking through the DMs here, obviously we've put the predictions up so Kiara has been on she's saying United 2 Newcastle 1 I've got Cole Davis hello Cole is going for a draw in that game Troy Garden Services is going for a 1-0 Newcastle win Nick here I'll read Nick's message Starkey, Siddhas and Crouchdog Nick here from Dubai amongst what's going on here right now the pod's keeping me laughing I'm on Etis Silat by the way good

1:04:29Chris Stark: good network he says solid you know your phone sometimes changes when you're out there phone changes I go on that sometimes

1:04:37Peter Crouch: he says my predictions for you he's gone 3-1 United in that one keep up the good work and tell Dubai that Dubai will be back stronger so we'll see him soon yeah good alright strong network as well that.

1:04:51Tom Fordyce: Okay, so it's a bit of a mixed bag, that.

1:04:53Peter Crouch: Yeah. Yeah, go on. I'll go with Nick and Dubai there. United 3, Newcastle 1. Go on, mate. Okay, I find this difficult to call.

1:05:03Tom Fordyce: I'm going to go with 2-2. Yeah, see, I like the draw. I like the 1-1.

1:05:12Tom Fordyce: You're going to go 2-2, yeah? I'm going to go 1-1. Okay, moving on to Tottenham versus Crystal Palace. yeah Tottenham having a shocker aren't they lads

1:05:23Chris Stark: well I mean I think they're in it aren't they dropping like a stone the Fulham game was important we called that beforehand and they

1:05:29Tom Fordyce: didn't perform again no Palace it was alright against United but they're still they're not in good form Palace two teams struggling this is I think at the minute Spurs are at home if you want to be a Spurs player do you want to play at home at the minute probably not really the whole thing's quite hostile now well they will be hostile

1:05:47Chris Stark: certainly if they lose this one yeah yeah Yeah.

1:05:50Tom Fordyce: Half tempted by a horny draw? I am all over a horny draw. I'm in the life.

1:05:56Peter Crouch: You do look horny. Horny draw. That's a friend. Dylan in the DMs here has gone for a Spurs 2 Palace 2, which I'm very tempted by. Also says EE, by the way, even though I work for Vodafone. Warmest of regards from mine to yours. Is that loud? Big call, that, isn't it? Wow. I don't know if we should kept your name anonymous there, Dylan, but... Just say it again. He's gone for... Sorry. he's gone for a Desmond I don't know I'm sort of seeing something like that what do you boys think

1:06:25Chris Stark: yeah I know what you mean I don't feels like they can't lose do you want to draw no I'm going to go 1-0 Spurs okay I'll go 1-1 then yeah 1-1's good I'm only for draws I'll go 2-2 then yeah

1:06:46Chris Stark: moving on to what I think what I think will be a difficult game for Arsenal it's Brighton versus Arsenal Brian have picked up

1:06:51Tom Fordyce: yeah picked up of late got some good results Welbeck's still scoring the goal isn't he Arsenal set piece after set piece they're getting battered for it aren't they but if

1:07:01Chris Stark: I can't get over the big games are now decided by set pieces by set pieces like they're getting corners

1:07:07Peter Crouch: and the crowd is cheering yeah like as if it's a penalty

1:07:11Chris Stark: it does feel mad doesn't it the delivery is

1:07:14Tom Fordyce: unbelievable if you're good at it exploit it

1:07:16Chris Stark: and the panic that's set in it does feel like literally like Stoke days. Yeah. I'm watching the big teams do this now. Oh, yeah. I suppose they're just kind of using everything they've got, you know, set pieces, whatever they can throw at them, they're doing. But I don't know. It doesn't sit right with me somehow. Yeah. The big team should be doing that.

1:07:39Tom Fordyce: Yeah.

1:07:40Peter Crouch: Speaking of which, just very quickly on that game, was it a handball, did you think? The Declan Rice, the sort of back of the arm? I don't think so. I don't think so. I don't want to see a given.

1:07:51Tom Fordyce: I don't want to see a given, but if it was given, the current state of affairs, you'd go, that's where football's gone.

1:07:57Chris Stark: So many fouls in the box now. Like, everyone's holding each other. You can't give one a... It's just coming off anywhere, his own goals. It's carnage. Keepers can't get out. It's absolute carnage. And the delivery's been unbelievable. Oh, yeah.

1:08:12Peter Crouch: And then Chelsea scored straight afterwards anyway. I mean, it sort of helps in those situations.

1:08:18Tom Fordyce: Go on. Brighton Arsenal lads Okay

1:08:21Peter Crouch: There's so many people On my phone Saying 1-0 For this I can't go for three draws Though can I Surely not

1:08:31Tom Fordyce: I'm going to go Missionary Arsenal I think they just Pound away Missionary Just get it done 2-1 Arsenal

1:08:44Peter Crouch: I'm going to go 3-0 Arsenal I worry these scores are too punchy this week. I think I'm going to regret this.

1:08:52Chris Stark: All right, I'll go 3-1 then.

1:08:54Tom Fordyce: Awesome. 3-1. Just a quick one, lads. Someone sent me a... This is Ethan Thomas. Sent me a DM. Ethan Skidmark, pass on my regards to the families of Chris and Tip Tapas Charlie.

1:09:09Chris Stark: Tip Tapas Charlie? Tip Tapas. Tip Tapas Charlie. Had a nice tapas after last week's report.

1:09:15Tom Fordyce: Did you? Yeah. maybe next season you could get guests to do the predictions for the league table and if they win as a collective then we all have to do the forfeit so basically it'd be us versus a guest you didn't go on to say I know you don't get guests on every week but I'm sure the Carls behind the camera can work something out

1:09:35Chris Stark: Carls Carls them off

1:09:38Tom Fordyce: I thought it wasn't a bad idea but yeah it was the it was a tip tap ass Charlie tip tap ass Charlie I like that one

1:09:45Chris Stark: yeah skid mark not so funny but there we go alright lads I really do enjoy the host it's great to hear from the listeners

1:09:52Peter Crouch: yeah totally and it always throws up things that you're not expecting yeah and very quickly before we go two things one we need to keep this focus on making shin pads great again we've sort of been sidetracked by the phone network stuff brilliant but you know we're wanting big shin pads out there I think we need a couple of guests on that are playing in the leagues to start wearing shin pads and shouting for us so we need to keep our focus with that and the other thing very quickly how's your guitar playing going? it's alright is it?

1:10:22Tom Fordyce: yeah

1:10:23Chris Stark: I've come a long way in a week got the video we've got a video sent into the group of Sid's actually performing oh yeah that was after a couple of days that one

1:10:30Tom Fordyce: yeah it was it's it's productive I need to start getting lessons I'm going to put it on my socials to see if there's anyone around near me that can get me right up to scratch I mean I'm learning on YouTube

1:10:45Peter Crouch: a personal guitar teacher

1:10:47Tom Fordyce: oh I need to 100 % okay great yeah alright I can't do it on my own yeah

1:10:53Peter Crouch: keep practicing I would say I mean I saw the video I don't know what your I've lost it's brilliant you are doing brilliantly my concern is that in front of say for example a crowd of people it's different

1:11:06Tom Fordyce: I'm on strumming now I was picking are you really? strumming keep strumming away Sid

1:11:15Peter Crouch: we'll get there

1:11:16Chris Stark: yeah love alright mate