EP. 395 | Ranking More “Game’s Gone” Moments - Chelsea’s Ref Huddle & Digital Match Programmes?!

0:00Chris Stark: Hello and welcome to That Peter Crouch Podcast. Me, Peter Crouch. Notorious S.I.D. and Chris Stark are with me. Everyone okay? Really good. Yeah, really good, yeah. I'm really good. Yeah. Are you good? Good, mate. Yeah, you're very caring, aren't you? Are you good? I'm good. Good. We're all good. Great. I've had an idea. So, you know, we still haven't sorted this pint glass situation. Oh, it's disgusting. Look at it. Yours is a Ribena glass. Sid's has got a Guinness glass with lager in it. That's poor. It's a mess. It's poor. for a podcast I don't even know what that is I mean that's half acceptable but it's still even now I mean it's still cloudy isn't it it's cloudy for a chance of meatballs so obviously we want to we want to design some glasses and the easy option here is to make Peter Crouch podcast glasses and then we get them and listeners can have them that sort of thing we can have them here they'll look quite nice but I was thinking are we missing a trick not having a bit like the Laute was a selling point because it was one of a kind drink do we need to design a glass that is it's physically bespoke to this podcast.

1:01Do we need the tallest glass of them all?

1:04Chris Stark: Well, like a really thin, tall one. Yes. But a pint glass still. But a pint glass. Yeah, so it doesn't have to be super thin, but a little bit, yeah, thinner than the average. But bigger than a Perot. Thinner than you. That's going to be tall, that. It is going to be tall. Really tall. But normally I was in a restaurant on the weekend and I had a bottle of beer and that went in a thin glass. You had a large Peroni, did you? The large bowls? No, no, no. Just a normal, regular bottle of beer. It was an Asian fusion restaurant and they poured it into it. Okay, yeah, of course it was. And there's me thinking it was pizza experience.

1:39Chris Stark: Cor Chevelle, Nice, Asian fusion. We've lost him. The game's gone. Crank open the Chelsea contract there. Crank, I want to have a look. We've lost Steve Sidwell. We've lost him. The game's gone. No. Asian fusion. Very good. Listen, you've already eaten this restaurant before, all of you, I know you have. No, we haven't. Yes, you have. Never been there. Never been there. Yeah, fuck yeah.

2:07All I'm saying is, a bottle of beer, you can go in quite a tall, thin glass. You're talking about a pint, that'll be, that's like a vase. A pint's worth.

2:16Chris Stark: I think it's similar to a Peroni one, maybe slightly slimmer Peroni, and higher. Ultimately, it's just got to be taller than the Peroni one, so that we can say we've got the tallest. Yeah. And also, do you know what? grabbing it you know about holding it I reckon holding a more a more thinner one it's easier to hold yeah yeah so I mean no one put your hands around a big thick one do you so I don't know I don't know who we need to I don't know who we need to employ to make this happen because we can get glasses printed up on snappy snaps if needs be I'm sure they'll be on yeah but the tall ones you almost need a glass blower don't you you need one of them one of them ones that you know where they're they're giving it the full on like make sure you freeze that double hander you've seen him

3:07Chris Stark: what a double hander have I seen the art of glassblowing yeah I've seen it yeah

3:16that's like the ice cream there is an art

3:21Chris Stark: it's definitely an art to glassblowing there is isn't it But are you saying that this is going to be, are we going to make this like a universal beer? So it's not just for a specific brand? Well, not unless a specific beer brand wants to express an interest. Yeah, no, it's not for a specific brand, you know. It's for maybe at home drinking, you know, because I think, you know, go to a pub. Listen, we can get them into pubs if you're a pub or if you're a glass blower by trade. Get in touch because we'd like to make some bespoke glasses, basically. yeah yeah it'd be lovely or maybe we blow our own maybe we said absolutely love that podcast trip to learn how to the forfeit we'll do some pots as well we'll do some pots come on don't be silly it's a serious job i know it is i've done a way you'd go but get in touch you know if you can teach us to blow yeah I just think a glass to be part of the whole design process would be fantastic wouldn't it really would be always worry about glass blowers as it gets into the hotter months you know I think it's one of them jobs that Jesus because you're there aren't you in the constant sort of spinning it in the furnace yeah oh in the summer in the heat you are in the there's no aircon down there it'd be interesting to see who would make the best one but maybe this is what we do if you're a glassblower get in touch and we might have an assignment for you I always think about that you know when we ask these very random things like there is one person out there going that's exactly what I do always one mate he'll be listening like while he's blowing he won't believe it as well oh my god that's literally what I'm doing now that hurricane is going on exactly he's blowing a glass with one hand he's removed his other one he's tapping out a text to his mate saying bloody hell I think we've got an in here and do you know what he might even be blowing in he might be doing you know a Peroni and he just goes do you know what I can extend that a little bit longer I'll send that in yeah a Peteroni a Peteroni sort of thing a Peteroni we just need to absolutely shithouse him Peteroni a Peteroni glass a part of Peteroni is gagging for us they've got to get in touch some of these brands miss a trip by the way we do their work for them Honestly.

5:50Chris Stark: Honestly, mate. We do their work for them. Okay. I mean, listen, dads, we're getting into a Games Gone episode here. Someone called Glench. Okay. I'm slightly concerned about the word Glench. Yeah. I know what you mean. It sounds like the sort of thing you'd get on the Urban Dictionary, isn't it? Yeah. Guys, can you type that into the Urban Dictionary? Yep. There it is there. He's got it up. Ah, yes. Yeah, don't worry about Googling that. Okay. Well, yeah. okay we're you know names are name that might particularly it might be his name which might be unfortunate the sad thing is with the urban dictionary if you type in any of our names into it it'll come up with something something yeah we probably should have a quick look it's a bit better than Glinch has anyone ever has anyone ever watched the there you go there's Crouch

6:45Chris Stark: so you've got no chance have you that's what I mean any name should we do Sid Sidwell I'll stop I'll take that I'll take that that's very good that's good I can't I'll take that all day that is really good sure about my one no it's an unsullied name at the moment incognito oh there you go

7:11Chris Stark: that might be that might be my favourite one I mean we could we could tell the listeners what that one is I wasn't I wasn't over the moon about saying I don't know you should I don't know we should okay alright well listen do your homework if you want to each of their own each of their own but anyway he's got in touch and he basically rendered a prototype image of the have a look at yourself card which we came up with a few weeks ago so basically what he's done he's AI or whatever he's superimposed a the referee giving a card it's basically a mirror to a player brilliant it's great to see it in action isn't it yeah like if you dive or something have a look at yourself yes for those decisions that you're not going to get punished for it properly but we all know what you've done there yeah sort of thing it's against the spirit of the game yeah it's an embarrassment isn't it it's a to bring them back down to earth yeah exactly right alright lads obviously game's gone it's gone down really well yeah the board lots of people really getting in touch There's lots of suggestions about how the game's gone.

8:21Chris Stark: For instance, this, you know, last week, I mean, we were inundated with this one and obviously I put something up on Twitter about it. I couldn't actually believe it. I was at one of the early games, I think it was when Chelsea did it for the first time where they did this huddle in the centre circle. But I cannot get my head round while Paul Turney, the referee, is involved in it. what can I say what are your thoughts I've got so much that I say at the camera as well ah there is so much I need to go through on this first of all I get what you're saying how was the huddle do you know it is a little bit of an ego trip as well because Paul Tierney is on the football right and they want to do this huddle actually around the centre spot yeah it's you know but it's like a power struggle it's like well who's going to move first but he doesn't move but then there's Cole Palmer Cole Palmer is the way Cole Palmer's looking at him as well is to say, what are you doing in the middle of here?

9:20And they carry on speaking in the huddle. I can't get my roundup. You think they'll break up and then just move them out the way

9:27Chris Stark: or say, do you want to just step out? Number one, right? I've got a problem with this huddle anyway. What is going on? Why are they doing it? Why? Why are they antagonising people? Yeah, he's saying that the players have come up with this and I'm not one for huddles anyway before the game if you're going to do it do it in the dressing room you know and then let that be the last thing that's yeah that's near enough said but why do it on the penalty spot why do it right there but why is the ref not just move slightly I don't know there's no wrong with it the huddle for me I don't like the huddle in the middle of the centre circle I'm not a huge fan of the ref then getting involved in it and like making a stand and then staying in there I just don't know who wins and there's so much wrong with it so what about so is this Chelsea thing always on the centre circle yeah right so if you're on the opposite team now it would not surprise me if someone else is just going to go stand it and try to get in the middle of it as well 100 % that's the kind of thing you would say that's what you do it's shithouse you've got to do it haven't you before the game if I was a manager I'd say I'd get my hardest player right you've got to do if you had Vinny or you know fucking John Hartson or something you stand right in the middle yeah and see if they can move you and just listen to everything they say do you know who would do that?

10:53whose instructions Sean Dyche would say to someone 100 %

10:56Chris Stark: Tony Punis is going to have that Robert Hoof would be straight in the middle of that sure cause it's just made a really unnecessary narrative because that is going to happen isn't it? that's what I'd do there's going to be a special guest in this huddle every week now yeah basically it's the funniest thing it's the funniest thing I've seen all season and I won't see one funny this is comical I've seen nothing like it in my life this is going out to a global audience I know I know lads we've got a quote here from a senior yeah okay I'm going to make this really clear I want to protect my players I'm respectful to the game my players made the decision they wanted to be around the ball to respect the ball and show unity and leadership that is not my decision that was a decision between the leadership group and the team so the manager's distancing himself from this this thing yeah am I right are they always the centre circle yeah that's going to be the tradition I was at the Aston Villa game it's on the halfway line on the centre circle I was at the Aston Villa game it's at Villa Park by the way and they actually played really well that day but they did it then and I could see some of the players the Villa players getting really frustrated I think it was Codden's that wasn't having it and I thought why are they doing that and then obviously yeah it's culminating in this I think it's going to it's going to end in tears I feel right I think what's going to happen is someone's going to just say just go and stand there yeah or the whole team just line up on the line and just it'd be like the hacker yes we said about this before it's like territory to counter it do you start doing things but the mistake Chelsea seems to be making is they're going to do it in the same spot if you want to do the huddle and everything but you can't that's not your land it's not your land yeah you can't can't have those yeah it is a bit like if you want to be petty about it what is that I mean what are the rules are they a huddle thing are they meant to be on one side of the pitch and it just gets ignored and what's the referee's view here why is the ref stood in the middle well the thing is the ref's saying that's my land it's not one team or the other that's actually the centre spot that's my that's my domain it's all a case of you know it's all a case of I suppose you know masculinity really and holding ground yeah it's definitely it's definitely woke I think it's got to go up I mean it's got to go up it's definitely woke it's going up isn't it it's going straight up it's just got to go straight up isn't it it's so much wrong with it so much wrong with it it is how are you defining it it's Chelsea Huddle in the centre circle yeah I'll just put that up there yeah I think that's just going straight up 100 % I've never seen anything like it all my life nope nope Charlie Jones has just wrote in the most unfortunately named footballers games back or games gone as you can see there there's a young wanker number 47 his name's Jacob Wanker would it be Wanker?

13:56Chris Stark: probably yeah might be Wanker yeah might have mispronounced that we've got Jizz Horn Camp here hold on wait there wait there don't go too fast wait there wait there don't go too fast guys his name is Jizz Hornkamp yeah yeah alright where does Jizz play oh yeah Alkma yeah there you go like that Jizz might just mean it could be Jeff yeah yeah okay alright Jizz Hornkamp it's a great name oh no that's not his name that's not his name I think this is the best one so far naughty naughty it's a good name what was that what's the song he's a good naughty naughty very naughty he's a good he's a good he's a good oh yeah he's non-league now is he did I just see that how many clubs he's had Chelsea Mainhead Welling Wrexham Solio Wrexham Solio Dover wow Chorley oh he's done the rounds a bit of US is that how many clubs he's played for yeah fair play And now is it Dagenham?

15:05Wow. Naughty, naughty that.

15:08Chris Stark: Naughty. Oh, God. Christ almighty. Ralph Minge. Is that it? Why is it so silly? It's just coming for it. Do you remember Stefan Kunz as well? Yeah. They used to laugh about that on... What was it? Fantasy Football. Badil and Skinner. Yeah. Okay, one from Ben Pratt. He says, hi lads, love the pod. came across Sky's commentary for the Wrexham game tonight. Owners on commentary. He said, game's gone. I did see the clip of this. Did you see it live? Did you watch it? Or listen to it? Yeah. I sort of saw clips of the commentary afterwards. I don't know, like Americans who quite obviously don't, haven't grown up with the game.

15:52Yeah.

15:52Chris Stark: I find it difficult to listen to, especially in a championship game, you know? If it doesn't feel right, you know, it feels like... It's not one for the Swansea fans either, is it? I don't think so, yeah. Do you know what I mean? Yeah, I kind of get that. The game's gone a little bit. I understand what they're doing. They had Snoop Dogg there a couple of weeks ago, didn't they? Doing stuff at Swansea. Yeah, but this is just the commentary, though. I'm all for growing a game and stuff like that. I'm all for them involved. It's a great story that they've bought the club and stuff like that. Commentary feels like that needs to be left alone.

16:28Chris Stark: Yeah. I think it's good occasionally to have a reminder of how good commentators are. Exactly. It's a skill. Because it is a skill. It is so hard. It's quite underrated. Well, Sid is the, you know, he's doing really well with it now. He's doing really well. It's hard. It's hard. I think you're doing great, mate. Do you think it's hard? Yeah. I have never done it, but I feel like... Did you do the Liverpool game over the weekend? Liverpool, not on the weekend, no. Liverpool-Galatasaray last week. That was it. Yeah, it was tough. Yeah, I mean, I get it. I like the concept of it. and it's kind of like a little bit of a throwback to when they used to get the fans commentating do you remember they used to get like one fan fan zone was it the fan zone they used to get proper they're heated didn't they some of them used to get really as long as they're not like with these American owners as long as they're not sort of throwing like the American terminology of Swansea get the PK yeah you know well this is what done me because I went to we were in Stoke we went to Orlando for pre-season and then my dad watched the game it was streamed played Orlando whatever they're called but we played Pirates no is it Pirates Caribbean Pirates I don't know we played Orlando anyway and my dad watched the game and he was like you won't believe this I think it was John Walter scored and he said listen to this commentary it was he said it to me it was assist assist by Crouch for the Walters power play the waltzest power play I've never heard power play in my life what is a power play but yeah they're just different I don't think it's bad is it I think it's maybe one for pre-season I think it's it's an option great option to have it's a great option but then have your normal commentators and then maybe it should be one rule for one it's got to be more so actually you should have more owners on do you know what I mean do you have an option with like they've all got to do it or none yeah because that'd be interesting I get that just staying on owners really really quickly have you did you see I see what did I see the Coventry owner on do you remember you saying about if you get in early about tickets yeah you're in that's what they've done are they doing that that's what they've done isn't that amazing and I think oh you have to go into this but I'm sure it's that concept where they asked season ticket holders I think a few years ago when they was really in the pits to go right You can either buy a season ticket now and it's the same, I think, for the next five years and they're on the cusp now of getting into the Premier League and their season ticket does not go up from when they bought it however many years ago.

19:08That should happen. Or you're right, if you can't have it for life, which would be what I advocate for, but if you can't have that same price for life, it should be a five-year thing. It should be, it should have a good time on it. Because you're investing in a club at a time where they're not Premier League. You shouldn't be bound by the same people that come in when they're Premier League.

19:29Chris Stark: Yeah. That's a good point. And I think, you know, it was raised on this podcast and it feels like, you know, we're shaping the current football world right from this. Doug King. I think he's listened. He must listen to us. Agreed. Maybe the game isn't gone. Yeah. You're right. You're right. Maybe this is where we need the other boards and things that are actually good about this game. There's plenty. There's plenty that's good. There are. but new innovations in the game that are actually good for the game is good. Yeah, exactly right. Brad Towson says, not having two player kickoffs anymore, game's gone.

20:08Chris Stark: Totally agree. All I've ever done in my whole life is have a... Myself and Jermaine Defoe, get your big man, little man, in the centre circle, only two allowed in, no fucking huddles, no referees. Two, a big man, a little man. One kicks it forward, the other kicks it back to the most creative midfield player who gets the game going. that's how we should play football who had the first touch of the game was it you that you should just roll it or was it JD I think JD would have a little quick one out there and I'll just pass it back I agree but I do like because you can actually score straight you can actually shoot straight away straight away yeah is there a hierarchy on that first kick the very first movement of the ball is that done by the sort of the established striker no I think it's just just communication once you're on the spot there.

20:56What, so you genuinely would share it with Defoe? Or did you do it every time?

21:00Chris Stark: No, I think, no, I think it would share it, yeah. But we got to a stage where I was outwired then, because you know, quite often you go back to someone who'd kind of put a little diagonal and I'd always be there. And you try and set the tone with winning the header early doors. Yeah. Let them know you're there. Let them know you're there. And the first kick has to go forward into the opposition half. Has to go forward, did it? Then it comes back. But then obviously, yeah, when it came to the situation where it was kind of straight back then I was kind of outwired for the Diag yeah but yeah I agree with that to some degree quite like the two player kick off does make sense to not have to yeah yeah well you'd certainly stop the huddles that's for sure wouldn't you certainly would you'd be like yeah yeah who's kick off right you're there on the ball straight away yeah yeah especially if it was like Kenwin Jones and James Beatty up top.

21:57Chris Stark: Doing a huddle around them, are you? There's something so exciting when teams do it, though. When you've got two taking the centre kick, at least two either side of that, just bombing it forward. That's all they've got to do. Sometimes more. I love that. In regards to the game's gone, though, did you see there was two in one week where it came back to them, I think it was Everton, where they flicked it off and just booted it off? Yeah. Yeah, I don't get that. Like, recent this is. It was like an up and under. Two of them in the same day. It's almost like the ball comes... Everton kick off, yeah, it's got to come up, up and under or something crazy.

22:36This is, I think it's Everton versus... Amazing. So they're all lined up on the centre line there. Yeah. So they've all bombed forward. Mate. It's a little flick up. So it's gone, they just blasted it straight up into the sky. It's like you've been watching the Six Nations and have thought, Joe will give that a go you wouldn't have even seen that kick off in the 60s it's back it's the ice cream there we go ice cream run I love the fact

23:03Chris Stark: the ice cream run same time with the podcast brilliant really loud today as well I like that as a striker then you know when that ball goes up in that sort of trajectory and then comes down is that actually helpful for you because there's no it's horrible there's no pace on it it's horrible it's just sort of bombing down I don't think you're there to get actually on the ball though I think you're there just to maybe just get there to put the position off and then you pick up the knockdown so you're closer to there again I don't know why but is the intention then to to try get that next ball forward or back yourself back you know it's not that's hard with that angle basically I think it's on the centre half right and the centre half will obviously be favourite to win it as it's coming down like he doesn't know what's around him so he can't head it back so he has to just head it back to you really you know what I mean yeah because he doesn't know where he can't look he has to keep it on the ball and by the time that comes down you know he's just heading it back to you yeah I think is the philosophy behind him Luke Donnelly talks about the VAR simulator you heard about this?

24:15Chris Stark: oh no oh my god is this a game? hold on is there people playing a referee game?

24:26so this actually is a game that you can draw the lions on it you have to work out if it's a goal or if it's offside it's almost like a quiz and referee simulator it's called there's some games though that look shit on the face of it are good fun um goat simulator it's what it's i hate to say there'll be someone listening to this right now that really enjoys something goat simulator has won. There's a great game where you can pretend to drive underground trains. What like? Do you mean the tube? Like the tube, yeah. Underground trains. So you know what? Well, you know what the ones mean, London Underground.

25:01Yeah, tube. Tube. Sorry, what's wrong with underground? I've never heard something to say.

25:06Chris Stark: Honestly, if Sid said to me, I'd say, are you getting back off? You're going to go on the underground. What's funny about that? It's because you footballers never use it. No, it's the underground train. I've never heard that. What? underground train that sounded weird it sounded weird if you went to me underground train are you getting the cab back are you going I'm going to get the underground train I mean it's not that's chimpanzee in five sides I get what you're saying but I've never heard it it made me think twice I think does he mean the tube here both of us said does he mean the tube two more games one where you can mow a lawn which is good actually weirdly satisfying one for Lansbury there and the other one is all over that and the other one is jet wash you get a jet wash and you jet wash different things on the game yeah but because my kids play it's like they say it's like it's satisfying that's the word they use all the time it's when they like kind of clean things or it's like the fidgets and things like that it's satisfying when you jet wash something it goes goes off yeah that is satisfying have you mowed your garden yet?

26:14I have have you? twice got the raked it raked it first got the moss off take a little picture of it I didn't know and I need to go again it was wet I need to get to be dry it's all riveting stuff

26:32there's going to be a warm one this week so you might want to get out I'm not joking it's one of life's pleasures it's the first moe of of the spring season yeah you're getting into the new yeah the new summer it smells good it's there it's yeah I love it yeah no I'm the same I'm the same

26:49Chris Stark: you're not bothered not really no no okay David McCath says who wants to dress like a referee game's gone says here get match day ready with your with your referees merchandise so that's the ISA Irish Football Association is that Northern Ireland Football Association says here get match day ready the official kit layers accessories at the IFA referee shop free delivery on orders over 75 quid who's spending 75 quid as a fan on referees equipment unless you're a ref I've never seen that no no take your game to the next level this must be for young aspiring referees that wanna look the part or ones that wanna bunk into a little match you know when they do the England games for the World Cup do they do they also announce the referee kits around the same time for the World Cup do you know what I mean do they do is there a reveal I've got what you're saying if we go to the World Cup in some capacity could we potentially get some referees kits yeah and go and support the ref so you know for instance if we go and watch I don't know Ghana versus Panama should we go and support because we're not we don't really care who wins yeah could we go and support the referee?

28:16Chris Stark: That'd be great make a sign you know can I have your shirt please? Yeah we've got history we've been supporting the 4th and stuff yeah 3rd 4th be with you yeah I'm excited about the World Cup now I'm excited about the things that we don't know about it yet in the sense that you know like the weird stuff that you can't predict until you're there like there's too many crickets or mosquitoes on the pitch or there's Vuvuzelas so I was doing the old glass blowing again. Yeah. There'll be so much of that as well. You know, like, because it feels like the Americans will have something mental before, you know, some sort of presentation that happens every game.

28:55Chris Stark: You're like, why is this happening? I think it's going to be mad. Half time. I saw a football being delivered onto the pitch the other day by plane. It was like a plane or a drone and it literally just hovered. I'm just trying to say it was like a Delta Airlines thing or something like that and it brought the football on and just released it on the centre circle and flew off. Amazing. I think there's all sorts of those things. There'll be loads of that. Come on. I don't know why you've just reminded me of that. Have they all seen Carlos Tevez's house? Oh my... Have you seen it? Have you seen it?

29:24Chris Stark: No. I think Patrice Evra, right, has gone to interview Carlos Tevez and Carlos Tevez has just showed us around his house. Get on this. Look, look. That's a water park. Yeah. He's going to the Atlantis.

29:43I couldn't believe it when I see this. That's him in the Man City jersey.

29:532008 Champions League. Champions League, yeah.

29:56Chris Stark: But yeah, I mean, there's so much going on. There's an indoor pool here. He's got the, look at this, spa area. Feels like there's a lot of people. Oh, look at this barbecue. Barby, I knew you'd be all over that. I imagine it's in Argentina, but... Has to be. I mean, that's so cool the football table but with stands around the football table I've never seen that one before okay Blair McAnally says you could now buy a souvenir ticket stub for to a match for£5.95 a bit of paper that used to be free games gone um see the man thing is there is gonna be a need for this isn't there I say a need there is gonna be a market you want but you want the ticket if anything it's trying to bring the game back to what it was yeah because people are just using phones now.

30:42Chris Stark: It says here, look, for all booking supporters, you have the option to purchase a souvenir ticket at checkout for£5.95 per seat. Note, this is an optional charge. But the thing is, I think what the issue is here is you've paid for a ticket and you're paying additionally for the stub, whereas you should just get the stub sent anyway. Yeah. Yeah. But you want your ticket, you want a ticket stub for a big game, don't you? Of course you do. I've got tickets from when I was a kid from cup finals, England games. I've got loads, yeah. I collected all of my tickets. So did I? I was at Arsenal. Programs as well.

31:14When I was at Arsenal, we used to go after youth team games, so the first team games at Highbury. I've got a ticket stub at home, mum and dad's house, and I've got Sir Bobby Cholton on it and Sir Axe Ferguson. Signed? Signed. No way. Arsenal Man United at Highbury. Any chance of getting this in a Chumballon bar? I'll find it. It's at my mum and dad's. I'll find it. There's a draw. Get it in. Yeah, brilliant. I find that

31:39Chris Stark: but yes I think like I say I mean I've got my ab hates me for it but I've kept programs from god my first game must have been like late 80s you know programs from that well Watford have stopped doing programs when I go there now what? I know get it up they've stopped programs it's like a digital program oh fuck me I've heard this this is a new entry where's the yellow bar straight in get that yellow bar off again please Jamie you were brilliant at last time yellow bar please what I've been doing programming yeah unless I've got it wrong but I don't think I have it's like I turned up at the beginning I think it was beginning of the season and it was just like oh are we getting the program they're like no no we're not doing programs anymore it's like no you're not doing programs anymore what it's odd isn't it well you know the manager's notes yeah you know you've got like the fixtures the back there just so fill it with adverts like that used to be I used to love reading the adverts I'm shocked just after random two people like models that are modelling the kit do you know what I mean you could sponsor the back of player's shirt in shows on the mascots mascots I used to read the info for the kids yeah it was all part of it all part of it yeah you know the mascots name you know it's Jeremy Evans from Northolt devastating yeah I don't know I don't It must be a cost-cutting thing, or I don't know if programs cost so much to make now that they can't...

33:12Do you know what I mean? You'd have to sell it for a ludicrous amount.

33:15Chris Stark: I suppose like newspapers in some way, you get newspapers now through your phone or your iPad. But you want to keep them. They're collectibles, aren't they? Well, that's what I used to think. I think you've got to do it for big games. I think, I might be wrong, Watford have a service where you can get one. Like, there is one that's available, but you have to pay for the printing, something like that. I don't fully understand it. feels like the game's gone it is I think for whatever reason it is a bit games gone though isn't it yeah look at this this is true football's club scraps printed match day programmes Watford says it's sold just 455 copies at one game and will focus on digital content instead wow to be fair I would like to see the ratio of programmes sold at games do you think it's high I think they say you've got 60 ,000-seater stadium.

34:06Would you buy more? Would more people buy it, potentially, if they thought they were losing it? Do you know what I mean? Have we taken it for granted a little bit? Yeah, I think they would. But he's another cost. Football's expensive. Going to football's expensive. It is, but it does feel sad that they lose them. Let's get that up on the board, though, because even if the government subsidise it, it should be there, shouldn't it, really?

34:26Chris Stark: Well, I'm going to put that up, Chris. Please, yeah. Programmes, is it specifically at Watford? I mean it feels that way we are all about football heritage and nostalgia on this pod and that goes against everything doesn't it well lads I mean there's so much to get through here we've been in on days so I'm going to try and rattle through these a little bit quicker now Ryan Littler says starters and finishers grow up and call them subs please yeah totally agree yeah I agree can't be a starter and a finisher can you like come on if you're a finisher you're a sub yeah when I finished playing and went into coaching at Brighton, we kind of adopted that.

35:05And it was like a bit of a collective thing. Yeah, because you're a team. Yeah. But also it was woke. Yeah. Next gen that is.

35:15Chris Stark: Yeah, not for me, unfortunately. Centre backs diving. Trying to kid the refs. It's happening too often. Yeah. Old school scary centre backs are things of the past. Club, the clubbers. The assassins. You know. Assassins. Scary centre backs. big scary you know when you go fuck have a look at the size of the centre half yeah as I set it forward the first thing I do I'll have a look oh my god I saw one I saw one playing for Mansfield a couple of weeks ago in the FA Cup no it was Maidened against Mansfield oh and was it Mansfield no I'm talking about Maidened against Maidstone Maidstone apologies yes Maidstone big guy yep tattoos everything yeah you want a hard bastard at the back I think it kind of feels mandatory it should be a rule being a hard bastard set it off armband that looks like it's going to snap you know what I mean I agree well Callum Curry says here it's along a similar vein here he says the first foul is no longer a freebie oh yeah woke nonsense yeah I think you go in and you fucking take someone out yeah and the ref goes it's his first one yeah he is his first one yeah I agree well what if your first one is 20 minutes into the game you gotta make sure it's in the first 2 or 3 minutes first couple of minutes first 5 minutes it's the first tackle usually fall back on a on a winger just letting him know Pierce v Peter Beagree do you know what I mean scythe him down yeah that's what you're getting in future and I'll get a yellow for it yeah Tony Adams was the master at that first one Tony Adams and he would never get booked always had the referees the elves yeah always touching them brilliant these are along the same lines these two so I'll read these out Steve Pan has said the game's gone with players wearing too much product in their hair doesn't move all game looks like a Lego helmet I noticed this with Jokarez recently just does not move does it oh yeah yeah very stationary who else would there be it's quite a few stationary barnets now yeah get in touch with your stationary barnets also Ben Grace he wrote this in because this was an interview with Ari Hutchinson after the game he said basically the conditions were awful and they were awful it was raining quite a lot but he complained he said he couldn't quite believe it he couldn't quite see because he had face cream running into his eyes can I just say his skin does look glowing though it's great it's great it's great it does look glowing but is there it's not for me is there a kind of skin glowing games gone do you know what I mean there is a relationship between the two yeah but also you know you do have to look after your skin you still on the Nivea money?

37:59No, no, no.

38:01Chris Stark: It sounded like you were there. I'm just, I'm a pro at now. When I was playing football, I didn't know interest at all, but now I'm older. I've always thought it's a myth, personally. Do you? The moisturizers and that. No way? Really? Yeah. Yeah, I'm stuck. Well, no, I'm not a total conspiracy theorist with it. I've recently started using it a bit. Okay. I've always been into it. You're a creamy man, aren't you? I mean, he's got legs like a dolphin, doesn't he? Like to dabble. yeah and I've always I've always are you always groomed yeah I just yeah I mean for my opinion I think he's probably making a joke maybe or I don't know but I think when you're having a tough time as a football club anyone wants to you know that would have been funny if it was someone flying you know at the top of the league but because it's not it's it's anything to throw throw stuff at them I suppose but face cream in the eye is not ideal no next gen again isn't it you brew the football but you know players have always used face cream I've noticed who's the hardest player you know that uses face cream everyone a lot of people do you mean you finish the game before the game after every day every day every day in training you get your wash bag out deodorant really creams a bit of aftershave there you go no it's just not what I imagined isn't I mean they probably didn't back in the you know the 70s and 80s but I think certainly when we were playing towards the end of my career I mean a lot of people were putting face cream on yeah yeah I mean listen lads let's go through as it stands obviously we've got woke deadline days that was one of the first that went up because that was around deadline day we got VAR in the Wrexham Chelsea game there was someone fuming about that who was it?

39:48Chris Stark: Harry Wilson it's Harry Wilson who's fuming about that Cockney Reds from Danny Dyer he's just not having the fact that he can't be a Man United fan of Liv and be from Surrey Chelsea Huddle in the middle of the centre circle I think that's definitely unless you're a Chelsea I don't even think Chelsea fans are enjoying that no and certainly the ref being in the huddle again is is even more nonsense digital match programmes yeah match programmes for life it's not just for the internet

40:22Chris Stark: I think we concluded it quite well all valid as well I don't think anyone can argue with that maybe apart from maybe a Chelsea player

40:35alright lads

40:35Chris Stark: well I enjoyed the games gone our board's looking pretty healthy now obviously Chelsea had all I think in all honesty I hope they fucking carry it on it's entertaining isn't it yeah it's awkward I mean it doesn't make any sense it's woke nonsense but it's gone up anyway and did your match programs yeah i actually looked into it delve deeper into it chris um they really have gone yeah at watford it's it's crazy and i was at the watford game at the weekend i had quite an odd experience when i left as well so i was uh i was walking from the stadium to get because i was getting the train into london i was walking to watford junction got the watford junction just as i got the watford junction station uh i noticed the man city bus parked up outside ahead of the cup final obviously which was happening on the Sunday and I was with my mate who's an Arsenal fan at that exact moment all the players started going on the bus walking onto the bus well the Man City players Man City players yeah should I show you what for Junction what for Junction yeah yeah so they've just get the train down from like most of them live don't they oh sorry kind of say I don't know go from Maccasfield or something yeah I was I was thinking of whether they was at the hotel or have a look at this so you see so you see them all going on oh look at that Best time ever.

41:49Bear in mind, my mate's an Arsenal fan, my mate Callum.

41:57Come on, you've got it!

42:03Chris Stark: Can't help himself, right? Couldn't help himself. Couldn't help himself. Lost two now. They did. They did. Yeah. All right. Well, superb. Yeah, so this weekend, I'm playing in the Legends match, Liverpool Legends. Dust in the boots. looking forward to it that's the boots off got the shin pads ready brand new shin pads for it obviously make shin pads great again how's that going to be when you put them on in the dressing room you won't be embarrassed or anything I'll be full of pride that's it wear them with pride and you know what you do if you celebrate they're coming out whip it out this is it I'll just say now I will be I will be getting the shin pads out I was thinking about this because this is a campaign of ours right to make shin pads great again we want them big we want proper shin pads on players the ones we've made look great I want kids turning up at stadiums now with signs can I have your shin pads please yeah that's what I want to see next yeah or going to games in shin pads or going to games in shin pads that would be any level over their tracksuit bottoms yeah or over jeans and things like that yeah I think yeah giving away the shin pads might be I think shin pads are more personal than shirts yeah I know what you mean you don't get many shin pads do you and you wear them all season yeah sometimes I wore mine for years yeah so did I there's scrapes and scars all over mine exactly the same and I think you know that saved my shin there and I've still got them but it's the only bit of kit you probably reuse on everything right yeah even the boots you switch up probably a bit more yeah the pads stay but maybe we get to a stage where you swap shin pads at the end of a game maybe we change the culture of it yeah nice let's do it so who are you playing Joe are you playing it yeah Bruce of Dortmund oh mate Jürgen Klopp's the gaffer oh mate that's going to be brilliant that'll be good Steve Evie's playing.

43:47Chris Stark: Oh. Got some Pepe Reina's back. Got some good... I think there's eyes on you on this game, mate. Yeah. Especially after last time. That's insane. He scored two, didn't he? He scored a brace. He scored a couple, yeah. What good goals. Yeah, they were good. They were decent. I got up. Yeah, I'm struggling a little bit with my knee at the moment. So, yeah, just a lot of ice. A little bit of physio this morning. Game's gone. Woke nonsense. Is it? Physio week before the game. Why don't we do a Rooney? Or was it Bex? I can't remember which one. we'll print out a picture of your leg and we'll get people saying prayers to it every evening yeah well I'll just get my knob on a piece of paper and people can kiss it so do you know what Ab said to me so I was getting a bit of treatment at home the other day and um she she went your knee that looks like like the normal one you know because it's a bit of swollen yeah that looks like how my knee should look like he got a bit of like even my thigh's a little bit bigger yeah looks like how probably you know a little bit more normal might do might do a bit more power on the volley a little bit more well you've got two days two three days to get this right so yeah if you are listening right now please send your prayers and thoughts to crouch his knee and maybe just the power of positivity we can get that knee I feel like it got me through it last time you know I was a bit nervous about it last time I hadn't done a great deal of training went into it I hadn't played much you know so I went into it kind of blind really and it all went really I have to say it was probably one of the best days I've had in the last ten years yeah honestly that good because it was just you know 60 ,000 people at Anfield you know little boy never seen me play a score and then we had the best night we had this like sky bar in the middle of Liverpool afterwards just for the teams Chelsea and Liverpool best night ever it was great felt like he was a footballer again yeah really did but you went everywhere on that one I remember seeing it pop up you went massively viral they're good goals one of them was a header weren't they yeah one a header yeah another little lob that was it yeah yeah super alright mate go on I might come back in I've done my crew shit or something but hopefully hopefully touch wood hopefully it goes well you'll be fine but I hope this goes well this is the football league this is sponsored by Paddy Power the big weekend fixtures here in the special league we've got obviously it was a bit of a low scoring week I think it's Chris I only want to get a point yeah I mean I didn't see the Spurs one coming I thought I thought they'd beat Forest I really believed in that Newcastle I thought essentially get a win against Sundland I think we all did really and then and Leeds-Brentford it was a poor game was it the Brentford game I watched about 15 minutes I watched it all yeah did you watch it all?

46:26all of it yeah oh yeah you've done well there you've done really well

46:29Chris Stark: yeah well I had one eye on it let's be honest this next part of the podcast is supported by Puddy Pound it's the international break this is a free for all in my opinion it always has been isn't it I don't think I'd love to see how many points we've accumulated since it started with the international break. I reckon we've got that at zero points. It's hard. Okay, big weekend fixture. It's the Czechs versus Ireland. Big playoff game this one, Sid. Ireland are underdogs, 14 to 5. Tenner on that will get you 38 quid. The Czechs are favourites at 19 to 20. Yeah, the last meeting was one all. That helps you.

47:05Chris Stark: But it was 2012. So, fucking years ago. But I'd get up on that then. That's that at you anyway. Obviously, this is a one-off game, right? Yeah. You know, they've been drawn away. I still fancy them to get through, but maybe not in normal time. I'm going to go for 1-1 after 90 minutes. So you're going to go for a horny draw? A horny draw. Ireland to go through. Look all right over there. No, I'm just reading the messages. I don't think anyone in my DMs right now has a clue. what to predict here. Someone, Danny's message though, saying just, if in doubt, Christianry all round and I'm tempted. Danny says, I'm Vodafone Network and One Ball is on a redemption.

47:54Back stronger in regards to your families. I really want Ireland to do well here. I really want to, but I just don't have to get a result. I'm going to go check, I think. Are you really? Yeah, I don't want to, but... Check yourself. I'm going to checkmate myself here. Petter. I want to get... This is not good. We know a lot of Irish lads as well, don't we? We certainly do, yeah, yeah. Play with a lot of Irish players. You've got to be welcome in Devonshire, are you? Do you know I'm 85 % Irish?

48:21Chris Stark: Are you really? I did the Ancestry DNA thing. No way, 85 %? Yeah, I've come back 85%. Very high, you know. It is, yeah. I rang my parents to give them the DNA results and did it sort of Jeremy Kyle style. Did you? Yeah. How did it go down? Yeah, it was quite fun. Your dad nervous? Mum nervous, no? I was like mum, dad I can confirm I am your biological son and there was even though they know they were fine there was just a moment I think where they were like what's happening here oh fucking hell exciting Jesus right come on Sid okay I'm gonna go gonna go one nil check okay you've gone one nil so I'm gonna I'll back Ireland yeah two one Ireland we're doing it I'm going Christian Rea.

49:11I warn you now, it's Christian Rea all the way. Fair enough.

49:15Chris Stark: Right. All right, let's do the Paddy's Boost then. This is, we each pick a leg of the CrouchPod bet builder. The odds on that bet builder then be boosted by 20%, put on Paddy Power's, the special section of the website or app so you can go there and get it. I'm going to go player to score first, Troy Parrott. Yeah. He's on fire, isn't he? He's on fire. Listen, it was massive. No. He's become the talisman, surely. 100%, yeah. Okay. I'll go player to be carded. I'll go Tom Suchek. And I'm going to go player to have two plus shots on target. I'm going to go Patrick Schick. Schick. Tricky name to get right, that one.

49:52Patrick Schick. Schick. Yeah. Patrick Schick. And it's Schick with the shot. Patrick Schick shots. He scores six. Patrick Schick shots. Patrick from Patrick Schick. Patrick, Patrick Schick shots.

50:12let's hope that don't happen I'm actually going to watch this game now literally for that course I have as well okay chic

50:21Chris Stark: okay the odds are correct at the time of recording please gamble responsibly we'll segue into Wales versus Bosnia here yeah alright listen we spoke to Harry Wilson about this about this game he was confident wasn't he yeah yeah well more so because it's being at home I think that's definitely because they've got There's Italy North Line as well. They play the winners of that, right? Yeah. And that's at home as well. Yeah. Big chance, Wales. Yeah. Huge chance. I think they get through this one. I'm going to bang it out nice and early. 2-0 Wales. Oh, I was going to say that. Yeah. You're going 2-1.

50:55I'm going to go 2-1. But just on that score you just gave, Crouchy, got a message from Bradley here. It says, regards to the families, absolutely love the pod. Sat round the lunch table with the lads for Fulham 21s at Stoke Awe. Here's what we've come up with. So it seems to be a group effort from the Fulham 21s and they're agreeing with you, Crouchy. Two-nil Wales. Harry to score. So that most of them are on Talk Mobile.

51:20Chris Stark: Oh, brilliant. What's Talk Mobile? Talk Talk. Why is it... Quite a lot of them have to be like the same letter again. Talk Talk. E-E. Yeah, GIF Gaff. GIF Gaff. It's all a bit double-barrelled, isn't it? it must be a marketing ploy yeah that's what I mean it's all a bit Neville Neville imagine that was a network yeah but it feels like it should be JJ Ococha yeah it's a double barrel thing isn't it what's all that about alright so they're saying they're saying 2-0 so they're agreeing with Crouchy yeah I know I really like that you've gone 2-1 actually I think I think they're going to be more than 1-0 but I don't see it being more than I don't see him getting to 3 so let's go with 1-0 Wales 1-0 1-0 Wales okay I guess moving to Italy versus Northern Ireland okay this is in Italy yeah wherever that makes a difference right I think this is going to be tough one I think this is going to be tough Italy at home to Northern Ireland again this is a playoff game isn't it I'm just going to go straight out there and say Italy win this I know they're not I don't think they're they're in form as what they used to be Italy you'd like to fancy them at home against Northern Ireland I'm going to say 2-0 to Italy okay I'm going to go 1-0 Italy 2-1 Italy fuck absolute Christianry you could have took his 2-1 there I could have done but you know what I don't mind what would you have done if you listed 2-1 I would have gone 2-1 as well yeah love it ploughing through ploughing through go on you can't stop okay well that concludes the games good luck good luck to all those nations big games big game for myself yeah good luck mate good luck thank you very much and obviously you know we've talked about Ireland there we've got Dermot Kennedy on next week he's going to apparently he's going to bring his a cooey he's going to he's going to try and help you out Sid I need help dear we've not really checked in with you for a while on this one.

53:35Well, I'll give it a go. I'll show you next week, but just don't laugh. That's what I'm going to say. No, not at all.

53:39Chris Stark: I was impressed by your video that you sent us the other day. Okay. Well, we'll see. Okay. All right. Well, that concludes it and we'll see you next time. Do you want your soccer analysis more direct than an Arsenal set piece? Join me, Max Rushton, and the Guardian's expert soccer journalist for the latest action and news from the Premier League to the Champions League and all the way to the World Cup. We'll have chat more out of the box than a Dominic Sobersly pre-kick, more panelists than Chelsea have players and unlike VAR we know where to draw the line for fine margins fun debates and full-blooded tackles Football Weekly listen wherever you get your podcasts and watch the full episodes on YouTube