EP. 402 | That Listener Mail Episode: “Open Top Bus For SECOND Place!” - Our Most HEATED Games Gone?

0:00Chris Stark: Hello and welcome to that Peter Crouch podcast. Me, Peter Crouch, got Sid and Chris with me. Is everyone okay? You had a photo shoot today, Chris, didn't you? I did, yeah. Sorry, I'm wearing makeup in this. There's a slight. You did look like you were glowing. I did a photo shoot where I had to dress up, I think I can say, I had to dress up a load of 80s clothes. Love that. And it was for the new Rivals show. You know, the new series of that. So do something with that. So yeah, it's one of those. I had to turn up to the podcast today. managed to persuade them that I could get changed back into my own clothes because they were like your car's that's how you need to go you need to go but I couldn't bear the idea of turning up here in a load of 80s club I would have loved that did they give you the option to take it off they did but I just didn't have time love it I do that I keep it on I keep it on as well yeah if I'd worn the 80s club I would have been sat here you know like David Brent when he goes on that date and he's dressed and all the stuff and it's a church meeting.

1:00I would have been that.

1:02Chris Stark: I never really understood makeup, really, for when we do it. You know, we do it for TNT and things like that and TV. You know when we do it for TNT? I'll sit in the chair and I don't think there's any difference. I agree with you. I think they just do. Mainly the one that we get is anti-shine, isn't it? That's the anti-shine. and then they might just touch up a bit under the eyes if you've had a heavy couple of days I don't think it's your job to look good I don't think you need to I think that's how I'm in radio do you know what I mean it doesn't matter what you look like I think and then I think you can have too much makeup sometimes but with you guys I do think it's a bit odd it's like I assume Martin Keon gets makeup he does and I think that's a bit weird the worst part of getting makeup done when you're doing the puncturing and stuff is that sometimes you're on a pitch and you've got a whole fucking stadium around and the girl come over and do your makeup and you can hear everyone, obviously the comments and a few people shouting and you're just pretending it's not happening.

2:07Chris Stark: Just a little touch up. Yeah, a little touch up. It's not a great place to do that. No. It's also, it's not you requesting it. It's from the TV people. They decide you're right. I think you shouldn't look so shy. I allow it to happen, but I just think don't take any more than 10 seconds because if it goes any longer than that it's going to get louder even that even that is still enough time for someone to get their phone out and turn the picture that's it isn't it I've got a bit of a I need a bit of makeup I've got a bit of a gammy eye to be fair lads I don't know if you've noticed it it's a little bit puffy a little bit swollen pink eyes well I'm hoping it's more of a sty than pink eye yeah potato potato that isn't it yeah yeah maybe I need to look into it partial are you partial wow

2:59Chris Stark: or Stey still own over here Steve Steywell Steve Steywell oh god come on come to the comments let's go come on alright okay Steve Pinkwell yeah but you don't know how it comes about it's annoying that because everyone you never know everyone would look at it with suspicion and they'll think foul play well but I tell you what it's hay fever oh yeah yeah that's what I think it's the season yeah that's what I'm blaming on it's starting to happen isn't it now how's your polyps they're good actually fantastic yeah I've told you I've won a little bit of medicine at the moment really really helping with my polyps thanks for asking yeah how's your bollock

3:48that's alright actually thank you yeah it comes into its own this sort of season as well. Yeah.

3:55Chris Stark: Well, you've raised great awareness. Thank you very much. I'm just raising awareness of polyps as well. Yeah. And pinkeye. And pinkeye. That'll be what they're writing. Dear polyps, bollock and pinkeye. We do it to ourselves, you know, we do it to ourselves. It's our own fault. You know, we wonder why people are shouting these things when we're with our families. I can see it now. I can see it now. Me walking down the street in a couple of weeks. Oi, pink guy. Oh, no. We created it ourselves. It's our own fault. Jesus Christ. We were all on the train the other day. We were going to the pub and we'd finished up the podcast here and we went to go have some drinks, didn't we?

4:36And we were on the underground here in London to get to the pub. And you made a very valid point, Crouchy, which is, you know, sometimes when you're on the train, people come up to you and they're listening to the podcast at that moment. Imagine you're listening to the podcast and us three, Pollock and Pink, are kind of walking through. Yeah, just crawling through.

4:56Chris Stark: Right past you. Well, that's what I was thinking, because we were all together and it was only us three. And lots of people do listen on the underground. It's probably like where, you know, quite a lot of people listen. And we, I just, it was strange when we were just walking past and a couple of people were going, I'm literally listening to you and all three of you were like walking past. Yeah. A bit of a mad one, isn't it? It's crazy. Brilliant though. All good fun. Yeah. But yeah, Lewis Holtby. Did he slide into your DMs? Yeah. Or was it yours? Yeah, yeah, yeah. So we had the bad accident on the shin.

5:23Well, he did the shin. He was the guy that did the shin, yeah. That was it. So we reached out to him and said about sending some shin pads out, which he said, brilliant, loved it. And then we sent him out and he's replied. Yeah, he did.

5:35Chris Stark: He said, thanks for the, thank you guys for the lovely gesture. Bit big for my shins. But I love the design. I'll give them a go next week in training. He's never going to learn. What do you mean a bit big for his shins after that? Massive gash he had on that leg, wasn't it? awful yeah a bit big I mean if I'd suffered that I'd be wearing crickets yeah I've got a question for you boys actually came from a listener John Noons on Instagram just in light of the news of Ipswich getting promoted from the championship yep John Noons on Insta good question is is a is a bus parade for Ipswich coming second games gone I think it's a tricky one isn't it I believe I believe so I understand there's an incredible buzz around the city you know getting to the Premier League is a massive massive achievement but I just think you've got to win it for an open top bus I think we could maybe even have a bus tour but just have a roof on it oh genius do you know what I mean like you're just sitting there everyone can see you but you just just have the roof on yeah second place yeah no wave out the window that's it that's all you need to do just one of them we did great lads You've nailed it.

6:50Open top bus for first, closed top bus for second. Yeah, coach. Still getting a bus parade. To coach or something. Yeah. And then, okay, so then my question would be, based on that, where do you stand on, you get to Wembley, you playoff final, and you get promoted. Really, you're coming third place there, aren't you? Yeah. You might even win the playoffs from coming fifth. Yeah. Sixth. Sixth? Yeah. So where do we stand then on a bus parade through the relevant town? Yeah. Does it need to be open top bus, bus, and then, I don't know, car convoy? I think, if I'm honest, I think with that one, it is the best way to go up.

7:32It is. And I don't think you care what vehicle you get in, because you will be in no state to even worry about. It's such a special way of going up.

7:40Chris Stark: It's better than second, but you can't guarantee it. So you obviously take second every day of the week, but if you could see into the future, you would go up while the playoffs. Oh, yeah. Day out of Wemblev on there. What a day out. Massive. Trophy lift and everything. I mean, that's the thing. You're so right. Coming second in the league, one in the hand is worth two in the bush, isn't it? Yeah. I think. I think I've used that phrase, right? Yeah. You take second, but it's not ideal. It's a safer option. Safer, isn't it? I think the only way it's acceptable is if it's your first time time or in the club's history of going up.

8:20What? To have an open-top bus parade? Yeah, like, you know, because Ipswich have already done it. They got promoted, then they got relegated, then they got... I think it was someone like Lincoln City, for instance. If you've gone up second... Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, I get what you're saying. I think that's the only... And that's a tiny bit of acceptability. I think Crouchy's rule about open-top only for first is... I totally agree. No, 100%.

8:45Chris Stark: It's not an open-top bus tour. it's just a bus tour great hope that answers your question alright great question though this is great yeah I sent this into the whatsapp group didn't I lads just I was doing some filming for Paddy Power actually and I bumped into the Willstone Raider what I loved about it is the picture here what I loved about it so much was he messaged you Chris didn't he he did yeah I got a message from the Willstone Raider yes I've got his number whilst you're loading that up Just a quick question. When he walks into the room, what do you say to him? Oh, radar. Yeah. I was calling him Wilson for a while, which I realised was just a place.

9:29Chris Stark: Do you know his real name? Yeah. So then someone said his name. Yeah. Do you know his name? Do you know his name? No. Gordon. Yeah. Is it really? He is a bit of a legend. I think, look at the career he's had. Lovely guy. Longevity as well. Yeah. It's unreal. I mean, this is over 10 years. I got a message from the Wheelstone Raider. So Crouchy's not mentioned that he's seeing him and he's fired him with a picture of him and Crouchy and he's put underneath, I don't need you now.

9:59I just thought it was unbelievable. I've been dumped by the Wheelstone Raider. You're dead to him now. I don't need you now. And I think he means that. He's gone straight to the source. I put, where did you find him? He puts on, I'm filming with him. You've actually, this is good. Sorry, Sid. He says, I've left now, but told him he's promised, he's promised me I can be on his podcast. Yeah. He kept saying that he really wanted to come on. Well, I'm sure we'll find a way. Of course we will. Well, you've called him on this podcast before. Yeah. He gets involved occasionally. We love getting a Willstone Raider on and no doubt at all, when we do our next big celebration and we're wearing blindfolds, he's, he'd be great personally.

10:42Come in, you know, do something. Without a doubt, he would be. But what guy? I mean, you think about his longevity in the game. It is unreal what the Willstone Raiders achieved when you think about it from an argument. Well, I take it he must have an agent, though, that gets in these gigs. Do you know what? He's actually... The odd time I met him, I mean, don't quote me on it, but the odd time I've hung out with him, I've seen him do something awesome because so many people come up to have photos still. And I've been in the same pub and I've seen him occasionally at, say, where Willstone have played Maidenhead and I've been at the game and so many people go over in the pubs before to have photos with him and he does it all for free but he which you know obviously I'm sure people say obvious but what he encourages people to do is go over and put like a pound in the charity pot in the pub or put a five for a naze I'll do as many photos but put the money in for charities that kind of guy that's nice do you know what I mean it's a nice nice thing to do

11:35Chris Stark: yeah he's a really nice guy actually yeah he's good cool okay list of mail let's get into it

11:45Chris Stark: This next part of the podcast is in partnership with England, believe it or not. Right, lads, it's very, very exciting news. England has launched a new app to give fans access to all areas of their England teams. Yeah, that's right, Crouchy. So if you go to the App Store and search for the official England app, you will have everything you need ahead of the FIFA World Cup this summer. The app will be the first place where you can see Tuchel's World Cup squad. and get this, if you guess Tuchel's squad correctly, you can be in with a chance to win a signed shirt from the official squad. Yes, this is very exciting.

12:20So I've got the app right here. Me and Sid's been having a little look. Crouchy, you've got the app in front of you where you are as well, right?

12:26Chris Stark: The squad selector is go. Squad selector is go. Nice. Okay, I think the aim with this, we have to remember when we're trying to pick the squad is you have to maybe not even think what you necessarily want. You want to try and guess what the England manager is going to pick because that's how you'll win the England shirt. Put yourself in the England manager's shoes, basically. Although it is kind of exciting to pretend to be Thomas Tuchel here for a bit, isn't it? He must do the same. Is this how he does it? I have no idea. I'm sure we'll soon find out. Well, you tell him he does it on the app.

12:58He does it on the app. Yeah, I mean, I don't see why not. It's all kind of laid out in front of you here. So it's done by goalkeepers, defenders, midfielders, attackers. we need to pick a squad of 26 so Crouchy how many goalkeepers would you like?

13:13Chris Stark: We're going to have three goalkeepers in our squad right well listen we are Thomas Tuchel for the minute now Sid you could be Anthony Barry I'm going to go with we're going to go with three goalkeepers we're going to go with Jordan Pickford Nick Pope and Dean Henderson yeah I think you're right I do think it's a shame I mean Tuchel loves a sort of he's a bit of a party guy isn't he I would think Ramsdale would be good in there just for a bit of fun great character Ramsdale isn't he yeah he's a great character they're solid goalkeepers then aren't they the three that you're happy with that alright yeah nice one okay so dead easy you just select them and then you can add them into the squad okay defenders Crouchy let's not muck around we believe as a podcast he will be taking eight defenders we've got Konza Gay James yeah Stones, Lucia, so we've given it so we're allowed I reckon we can have three more You've got to have Nico Reilly, surely Nico Reilly, 100 % Nico Reilly, 100 % Fine, I love how much commitment you give to this Crouchy always always What I love about this app is you can sit with your mates in the pub and just have a bit of fun with it unless you're with Crouchy, in which case this is going to be an all day thing I think he wants I think he wants to sign shirt it's not fun it's business it's a serious game it's business I love it you're competitive with this it's mental okay okay so far we're only on defenders my god okay Luke Shaw John Stones Rhys James Gay Konza and we've got Nico Riley are we not are we gonna put Harry Maguire in there I think you've got to bring Maguire in so yeah let's put Harry Maguire in then and Lewis Hall.

15:10Lewis Hall. Okay, fine. That's eight, right? I like that. That's eight. I like that. Mix of experience, youth. I like it. Yeah. So, so far, Crouchy, on our squad selector, we've got 11 out of 26 places. We're not even halfway. Shall we move on to the midfielders?

15:31Chris Stark: How many midfielders are we putting in? I'm saying, Crouchy, I reckon eight midfielders. If you want eight midfielders, right, straight off the bat, Jordan Henderson, Declan Rice, Jude Bellingham, Cole Palmer, Cobby Manu, Adam Wharton, Morgan Rodgers, Elliot Anderson. Seven, one more, Elliot Anderson. Blimey, that was confident. That was good. Morgan Gibbs, he's done really well. That's a really tough selection, isn't it? That's a good pool of midfield players. So Alex Scott's missed out. James Gardner's missed out. Curtis Jones has missed out. Morgan Gibbs-Whites has missed out. Connor Gallagher's missed out.

16:18Chris Stark: Ruben Loftus-Cheek has missed out. Yeah, they have. But I'm more than happy with our selection there, if I'm honest. Okay, let's go on to forwards then. 19 out of 26 selected. Okay, so that leaves us seven attacking players to pick. Seven. Seven. Okay. Harry Kane, Marcus Rashford, Phil Foden, Saka. Saka, yeah. Jared Bowen, Anthony Gordon, Danny Welbeck. Left in, if you want to confirm Foden, I'm just going to say, you've still got Dominic Solanke, Phil Foden, you've got Calvert-Lewin, Harvey Barnes, Ollie Watkins, Ivan Tony, you've still got Eze. Crouchy's put in Phil Foden, but you haven't clicked him on the app.

17:09So we've got the chart, we've got basically your, I feel as though you're stalling on Phil Foden or Ollie Watkins, Chris.

17:17Chris Stark: Yeah. But I'm putting Danny Welbeck ahead of him. Danny Welbeck's in currently. You put Danny Welbeck ahead of Ollie Watkins. Yeah. Okay, yeah, so you've gone for the striker. Okay, so you no SA for you Crouchy well who are you going to put him ahead of you're going to put SA in ahead of you know I've got Cole Palmer I've got Bellingham I've got Morgan Rogers you know all that can play in that kind of 10 role ok mate so I'll click select and fill Foden and that is 26 out of 26 here I'm actually more than happy with that you happy with that Pete I'm happy with it you know there's listen there's I've made some big calls in there but I've enjoyed every minute of being Thomas Tuchel Pete Sid congratulations on the squad that you've just selected and yourself well myself but I'm more facilitated the app stuff really if you're happy with that guys we can submit let's go press the button here we go it says ready to submit this is your final squad you won't be able to edit it after submission this feels big I wonder if that actually what it feels like when he has to give the official paper in I hope the messages have gone out it's gone it's gone and look what's quite cool is you get the sort of squad all in the England font do you see what I mean like it's there like you would see on social media normally that's the squad so yeah you can give this a go for yourself it's the kind of thing you could bring out in the pub I reckon be good fun really good if you want to be in for a chance to win a signed England shirt and get all the latest World Cup news search for the official England app on the app store.

18:57Chris Stark: That's it. Right, go download it and let us know who you're going to pick. Come on, England. Okay, we've had so many. I mean, I think it's the success of the last few podcasts. I mean, some of the guests, obviously, the club, Liverpool one, we had Ben Foster on, James Milner. So much to talk about. We've been inundated with people messaging into the pod. So today's episode, we can get through some of those, if that's okay. Louis Claire says they've written in previously as a cruise a cruise line entertainer who often docks in Vanuatu yes yeah it rings a bell Cardi P Citizen Starkey I've returned from my global cruise travels and I've brought from Vanuatu a football shirt it's the local tribal market and it's definitely not shall we say FIFA approved but it will look great in the Chumbawamba all the best boys keep up the positivity love this so we've got a shirt here it's from Vanuatu oh I love it this is going to be great oh what a shirt that is you got that Sid yep here we go it's the local Vanuatu tribe look at that that is a shirt isn't it wow does it say Long Longood what's that say Longood Yumi Stanap can we google that please okay Longood Yumi Stanap is the national motto of Vanuatu didn't know that the Melanesian nation is in the South Pacific.

20:21Chris Stark: It basically means with God we stand or in God we trust. Brilliant. What a shirt. Brilliant. Amazing. What a gift. Thank you so much. Lovely gift. Should we just keep that there for a little bit? Yeah. Good shout. It's great. Superb. I love that. Do you know that is there? Festival shirt. It really is, yeah. Do you know what? Why don't we all sign that and we'll auction it off for, when I say auction it off, we'll just give it away to someone who, you know, we choose okay so what we'll do we'll just put a post out we'll all sign it and I mean there's only one of these certainly in our bar anyway I was going to say globally but I mean that's a good idea let's give it to someone who's make sure you're following the socials you know Instagram get up to date on your admin make sure you subscribe on YouTube and if you do both those things and you're picked then you will constantly receive one of these great idea fantastic great for like Glastonbury or something like that brilliant festival love it Okay, good day, Dubai, Dez, Bonfire and Womble, regardless of your families.

21:21Chris Stark: While striving to work this week in sunny Townsville, North Queensland, Australia, we've opened off in Vanuatu and now Australia. I passed by an absolute belter of a name for a caravan. And after researching the brand's website, found it wasn't the one model that would have, Avi's eyes rolling. The vacationer caravans specialise in off-road and outback caravans. fittingly so as the model I passed was called the Rough Rider and its sister model is the Endura. With my focus on vans, I wondered in what position would you have these Aussie icons in a down-under Vanarama? Okay, so let's get to that second part in a minute.

22:06Chris Stark: Cheers, boys. Keep up the great marks. Mark, expat from Congleton. Yeah, my granddad had a butcher's in Congleton. There's a lot of information. Just been hit from all sorts. I'm so disappointed you didn't read any bit of that in Australian. But you've got to do it. I'll read the last bit. The last bit in Australia. Quickly on the granddad in Congleton. Oh, where's Congleton again? Congleton's like Sandbatch crew. Yeah. That area. Yeah. But yeah, I mean, I used to work in there. I used to go and help him in there, yeah. I think it was more Sandbatch than Congleton. And when you say help, what extent of butchering would you do?

22:46Chris Stark: Well, I'd go into the, you know, the freezer and I'd bring out the meat and stuff like that. And he would cut it all up and things like that. But I'd just bag it up, serve the customers sometimes. Weirdly, I can see that. This is breaking news. I don't know if no one knows this. I've never heard this. Yeah. I was a Terry once in my time. Terry Butcher. Did you have the full clobber as well? Would you wear? Yeah, the white hat. Sometimes the little hat and the hairnet. Oh, wow. Did you know the different names for the various bits of a cow, for example, your mum? Or was it just a... No, I'd know bits and pieces.

23:23Chris Stark: But, I mean, listen, I was nine, ten years old. You know, on the school holidays, I just remember it had been freezing in that little room. That is a young age to be working in a butcher. Yeah, but, you know, I used to love it. My granddad was, you know, it's one of those granddads often heroes, aren't they? And I was like, what, my dad goes in there and, like, throws cows around. Proper butchers, was it? Proper, like, yeah. You know, when the butcher's proper, when they, you know there's all the meat and the display right and then you get something say whatever you want Sid's from the butcher's tell me what it is is it like a bit of steak or do you want some sausages or what is it no I can have some minted lamb cutlet yeah doesn't matter what it is whenever the butcher gets it out they have to get it out and they have to just slap it don't they they go yeah that's a good bit it's always they just slap it so true that is so true only in butcher that is so true don't they know it is yeah just to show you the quality of the rum.

24:13Look at that. Yeah. Just slap. There might be something in the sound. We don't know that. The sound might be... It's sad. The other one is... Have we said this before? You know, in garden centres, I can't walk past the thing of compost without slapping it. Yes. I can't. That's just... No, you're so... You just have to slap it.

24:39Chris Stark: That's so true. it's so satisfying

24:47Chris Stark: they're all piled up aren't they you have to slap it that is a shout that garden centres do a good day out aren't they there's a lot going on in there there's a velter not far in Surrey isn't there is it Longacre or something we've been there that's worth a visit there's one yeah we go to Nutfield Priory that's a good one that's tasty is it expensive as though. Yeah. Okay, I'll do the next, I think it's a, it's a Vanaroma. Yeah. In an Aussie accent. Yeah, it's promised. With my focus on vans, I wondered in what position would you have these Aussie icons in a down under Vanaroma?

25:31Wow.

25:33Chris Stark: Elf, Elf Stewart from home and away, Toadfish Rebecca from Neighbours and a late Steve Irwin

25:46there's three of the buggers for you it's a great Vanarama wow I never thought we'd be getting an email about Alf Stewart Toadfish do I remember Toadfish yeah two big in big in the game in the soaps

26:03Chris Stark: let's be honest though if you think about that they're all men's men yeah do you know what I mean no one's putting Alf Stewart in a passenger seat are they were you home and away or neighbours I was a bit of both you do both more neighbours yeah I was more neighbours I was more neighbours yeah I think you need to have Steve Irwin on the wings because if he sees something he's going to be he's out he's out he's going to get it if he's in the middle you don't want him in the middle no you're right actually Steve Irwin in the window seat you know if you are in Australia there's animals everywhere Steve can be determined out the window yeah and take care of it for you yeah Alf's not in the middle there's no way Toadfish has to go in the middle it's a youngster yeah it's probably about 58 now please okay let's move on Owen Grieve here good evening beanpole fucking hell

27:03I don't know if we just need to do You know, like when you have to restart a computer, like a factory restart of this podcast. It's outrageous.

27:17SIDS. Talking to the microphone.

27:21Chris Stark: We've lost SIDS here. We've lost SIDS.

27:27Chris Stark: Good evening, Beanpole, Firepubes and Onepole. You're so funny.

27:36Chris Stark: oh god a quick message for Chris actually recently had a bit of a sore ball myself and I got it checked out I had a scan this morning luckily got the all clear it's class you've been so open about it and encouraging men like myself to get checked if anything is not right with themselves fortunately I'll still remain two balls so all the best Chumbawamba yeah Chumbawamba my friend loved it very good and thank you for sending the email Owen because I do think every time we mention it on here it hopefully gets one other person checking themselves. Obviously be aware if you're listening in public and doing that.

28:11But do make sure you check yourselves. And if there's anything you're not sure about, go to a doctor's. Because that was the thing with me. I put it off for ages. I didn't really check myself properly. And, you know, we've done a whole podcast about this in the past if you want to go back and listen. But, yeah, we'll keep talking about it. You know, as we've said several times, just make sure you better check yourself. well I actually think we spoke about this briefly last week didn't we about getting like a full MOT yes I think there could be something around that where we could do like a little ep on that in terms of having our bloods done prostate you know because it is you get to an age where you do need to have it checked and I think we could do it in our own like way where it would send a message out to a lot of people also it's like I kind of think you've got to do these things and have a bit of a laugh with them as well you know we've got to take the stigma out of this sort of chat and, and it is awkward.

29:07Um, you know, having to check yourself, get someone to check yourself, but it's not, it's not that bad. It's not, it's awkward, but it's not, it's not like you, you should just go do it. Don't let that put you off that it's awkward. So I think you're right, Sid. So I think the more we do around this sort of stuff, hopefully you guys listening will, will join in with that as well. And, uh, and continue to call us, you know, fire pubes and one ball and that sort of thing along the way. Yeah. Sorry.

29:33Chris Stark: Enjoyable. Okay. Dubai Dez was Starky one ball and no tourist SID. I was the one who messaged regarding the situation between Little Chef and the sex shops. Yeah. On the A1. On the A1. Yeah. As a little fun side note, I'm a big Liverpool sport from a big Liverpool sport family and I was born on a match day. So I was named after the 1979 Liverpool team. Keep up the good work. Love the pod. Listen to every episode from day one. so this is this is his real real name this can't be true yeah I know someone like this yeah his name is Steve Ray Phil Alan Avi Avi Cohen that's right that's a big shout for me Colin Graham Terry Jimmy Ray Sammy Kenny David Frank yes that's my real name is it Avi Cohen wow that is non-profit that was a big shout huge that was big sorry so this is a guy with 11 11 names all of them from the 1979 Liverpool I know someone like this a player Charlie Oatway really Charlie Oatway played with him at Brighton he was born in Shepherds Bush big QPR family he's named after the whole QPR team is he really yeah that team so he's called Anthony Phillip David Terry Frank Donald Stanley Jerry Gordon Stephen James Oatway yeah known as Charlie Oatway yeah that's unbelievable brilliant isn't it I've never even thought of this as a concept what a great shout I wish I'd known this before my son was born what a brilliant idea I'm just trying to think which era of Watford team I would want for him it had a name thinking about it yeah that's mad yeah I'm sure there's more out there but let us know it's quite rare still wow I mean I think I'd need to see ID to believe it do you know what I mean so maybe show proof does that have to go on their passport yeah wow think about the birth certificate as well that's aggro it's great but it's aggro that isn't it I also think for two parents agreeing to do that like if I suggest that to my wife she wouldn't go anywhere near this sort of thing no no woke nonsense

31:58Chris Stark: game's gone game's gone okay Lee Ryan I'm not sure if it's the guy from blue but he says forfeit for one ball for losing the football league run next year's London Marathon in fancy dress in shin pads full kit wanker football kit thoughts oh it's quite a big shout isn't it the marathon well we could do like a park run 10k park run or like a 5k I can't run Marathons are big stuff I've never ran Marathons are big That's silly Is there a half marathon Have you been in a half marathon It's still 13 miles That's what I was saying A park run 5k I think There's loads You get down A load of people Support you And stuff like that No that would be nice I would love to do a marathon I would I would really like to do it I just don't think I'm built for that But then you see People doing it in all sorts of you've got a pancake in you son do you know when you're really struggling you could pancake it round do you know what it would do it would sort me out I could do 5k I reckon it'd also give you an excuse to batter it you know what I mean go for some training dressed as what we could put some accessories on there get you in a Vanuatu kit couldn't we with some shin pads what's you did the marathon last year didn't you yeah but you're one of those I don't think you really trained for it did you you just did it no I did I did train you could do a marathon I mean sorry you could do a marathon you could if you really wanted to you could anyone can I couldn't no no no no no what I meant was saying like with training you can't you can't just say you could do a marathon no no no I don't think that it is tough but you could well let's see how the league pans out because it isn't quite over yet it's not it's not but I don't know I think the marathon idea I don't know if it's physically possible it would be an amazing thing to achieve a half is a great number to do yeah but no one no it is an amazing thing to do I'm not saying it's not an amazing thing to do it doesn't it's kind of like yeah you'd rather do the full one yeah okay if you do it I'll do it wouldn't yeah no I'm just a little bit I'm just not really that interested in doing it ever yeah but I've congratulations to everyone congratulations to everyone that does as you can see I've got my hype team

34:27Chris Stark: I applaud everyone for doing it. How it worked for Rocky Balboa, wasn't it?

34:34Chris Stark: You've got Mickey and Polo. She's not that interesting. It's not that interesting. It's amazing, you know, and I'll do it in lots of ways. I can. But if I can do it without doing that, then I will. Yeah, it's a great day. But good luck to you, Chris. All right. Yeah, good luck. Okay, this is from Paul Hanvey. He just says, I've just rediscovered the best tweet ever by a footballer. We miss this Twitter era. And we do, I think. When people were tweeting stuff and they didn't know what they were doing. I think when they were sending a WhatsApp or something. This one's by Victor Wanyama and he says, I had spaghetti.

35:15Chris Stark: It was very nice. I enjoyed it. there's clearly a message that was sent for I assume he thinks that just family were reading it or I don't know I reckon he's just gone you just someone said to him you just say whatever you think you know say you know like people say something about politics or they might say something about the weather and he's just gone do you know what I'd love your spaghetti there well it had 18 ,000 retweets get on that that's the most that's the weirdest thing about it if you see now like people are you know the retweets you get like it's all about you know it's all like anti this anti that no one's talking about spaghetti anymore bring back spaghetti bring back spaghetti do you remember like Rooney and Ferdinand on their arranging lifts that kind of thing pick you up in the morning yeah yes that's really what it was it was like footballers for some reason particularly didn't understand how it worked and it was all the better for it the best will always be in my head when Moira Stewart joined Twitter for the first time.

36:24She did, I think it was one tweet that just went, hi, another tweet that went like test. And the third one just said Fiona Bruce. And then that was done on Twitter. That was it. I think she was searching for mates on there or something and didn't realise she was just tweeting. I was just tweeting it out. Could have been worse than dangerous.

36:44Chris Stark: let's wrap this one up right with an absolute cracker that's coming here from Craig Richards right guys here's my mega list for the games gone bored I'm a middle aged man who is grumpy so strap in he's got to great lengths here by the way oh okay I love the first one number one is referees with trendy haircuts what the fuck no one has come to watch the ref so true trendy haircut refs yeah like fresh skin fade you know like a lot of players they've done the refs now so true kind of feel like they all have now yeah yeah rare that you see like a Roger Milfield haircut well I put into our group the other day didn't I there was a referee I can't remember his name who's done a photo dump on Instagram of all his stuff and there was a question about whether that was games gone I did see that actually yeah might have been Scottish one was he okay he then says number two goal XP hey 0.6 goals should be scored well good luck scoring 0.6 goals you nerd

37:49okay

37:51Chris Stark: it's quite valid yeah I quite liked it number three is big chances who chooses if it's a half chance or a big chance that's a nerdy with the laptop again keeps hammering he's so angry this person but yeah I know what you mean though like how did you differently I suppose yeah number four booking the shirt coming off in a goal celebration you score last minute in a big game you can have my wife let alone my shirt Jesus Christ apparently it's because we've wasted time hello VAR how can time wasting rules be enforced when the referee's taking two, three, four minutes to look at the screen nailed it yeah he's nailed it is that really why you get booked for the shirt off is it originally for time wasting I don't know because we well I understand because you can take the shirt off at the end of a game with no booking.

38:44Yeah,

38:45Chris Stark: I don't think it is for time wasting. Yeah, you're right. You're right. Yeah. Do you know what I mean? Yeah. Number five, buying young players. Simon, I'm a last in the Villa fan and we just bought a 19-year-old Brazilian. I hope he's good. But we have let go a lot of decent young players over the years. How much better is he compared to the academy players? And if the gap is that big, why have the academy at all? So he's getting into quite a deep scenario now. I kind of, I see it. Like where he's going with that. I like that you should, every football team should have to have an academy player in its team.

39:19Yeah. I like that. I like that as well. That would be wicked.

39:22Chris Stark: Agreed. The word contact. New fans coming to the game moaning about contact in a tackle. For fuck's sake, it is a contact sport. Get over it. Yeah. Well, we are slowly going the other way, aren't we? You said earlier about it, there'd be no hitting soon. No, I don't. And I don't, I've got to be careful what I say here, I think, because it's not that I necessarily want that because I grew up in an era where heading was such a prominent part of the game. I think increasingly there seems to be a lot more chat around not doing that. When my kids play football, there's no heading at their level and stuff like that, which no doubt is a good thing whilst bodies are developing and all that sort of thing.

40:07So a bit of a mix, but I just guess if I'm leaping 10 years into the future, I wonder if I could see a situation where it's not I agree

40:13Chris Stark: well at least I'll be able to keep my Guinness World Record up there that's true for most headed goals no one's beating that if they start banning head in that's true okay so he finishes it with number 7 people in the media are asking for players to show personality then moaning at them that it's too much or a player showing passion and personality and being forced to do an interview then being fined from the FA or Premier League for doing so at least keep it interesting when all the other interviews are at the end of the day you just make sure just what you said it's like being a shit player it's like a shit player interview bingo apart from that keep it up lads great work Craig so yeah you want to get personality from your players it's like the managers you want to come out and say what they really think I think you should say what you want in an interview yeah 100 % 100 % because what like why not?

41:10Like, as long as it's not illegal what you're saying, why can't you have passionate opinions?

41:16Chris Stark: Yeah, I think if you're not creating a huge, like, say the ref, for instance, you're creating like a big for all, where everyone wants to get him. But that's the only example I can think of. So let's say they come out, a manager comes out and hammers the referee's performance. By the way, let's just for the sake of argument here say the ref's had a poor performance. My thing would be, does it not then have a conversation around that whole topic? You can't just not have conversations about things for worrying about upsetting. So I think if you're abusive or anything like that, you'll rightly get punished because people will respond in that manner.

41:52But you shouldn't be scared of saying or criticising or critiquing or voicing an opinion, positive or negative, about anything really. Great. Charlie Austin comes, springs to mind. He's won after a Southampton game. It was a really passionate rant, wasn't it?

42:10Chris Stark: there's been a few, isn't there? But they get fined, don't they? Like managers, now they say, you can see they're fuming and rather than talk about it, they go, I can't talk about it because I'll get fined or banned. And then someone says their point for them. So then what happens is it then zooms back to the panel match and they're going, yeah, he obviously didn't want to talk about it, but he's clearly annoyed with the referee. So you've just said exactly what the person could have said at that point. So it doesn't solve anything in my opinion. Yeah, agreed. Yes, valid points there. Yeah. We'll take them all on board, Craig.

42:40Chris Stark: Well done, Craig. I'm really angry now. That was good, though. Like that, Craig. Some good ones.

42:50Chris Stark: Right, let's get into the Football League, lads. Chris, it happens that your missus is far better than you at football predictions. She's better than you. She's better than you. She is. honestly I would like to say I'm surprised but I'm not I've had the most points I've scored all season all because my wife predicted the results um so I'm in a crisis situation in this league anyway everyone's expecting me to have to do the forfeit so now I'm thinking I might just give it my wife to the end of the season you're treating her like she's Sam Allardyce the savior the savior has been pulled in at the end she is she's a specialist in this area i think she's exactly the right person to get me out of trouble you know not for the first time so um so i've got to give her i think to end the season based on what what's happened this weekend fair enough i mean listen she's gone for a correct score she's got you the bonus points which is the Paddy Power bonus points.

44:02Chris Stark: So you got a total of four points there. Obviously, the big one was the 3-0 victory Manchester City that she got actually on the nose. So that puts you with four points plus the bonus of five that Paddy Power give you. That's 65 points. Massive. Ab did reasonably well with two. So I'm with 72 points. Chris and Sid, they're both on the beach at the minute anyway with 91. one that puts you in a in a serious position here with seven points behind me with with a couple of games to go yeah a couple of games to go uh the right manager in charge i think and there could be a bit of a drive on here at the end it's meal crouchy and to be fair i'm still a few points behind but these chaos cards that paddy power have introduced could mean uh anything any week so I'm fascinated to see how this plays out I do feel the crowd once again want you to do the forfeit Crouchy that's generally what people come up to me and say on the street so look seven points behind it's still a hell of a gap but you never know I think there's always that back end of the season where you get the team that just gets a bit of momentum and obviously you are a team here and back the team that's on the run Yeah, yeah.

45:20I agree. Wind in the sails, why not?

45:22Chris Stark: Right, lads, let's get into it. The next part of the podcast is supported by Paddy Power. It's the big weekend fixture. It is, of course, the FA Cup final, Chelsea versus Manchester City. City are obviously favourites at 7-10. Chelsea, the underdogs, as you'd expect, 10-3. I was actually at the Liverpool-Chelsea game on the weekend, and I thought there was big improvements from Chelsea. This is not a foregone conclusion because Chelsea obviously, I suppose you could say not one in seven, but had six losses in a row. I think they stopped that with Liverpool the other day. And I have to say, in a one-off game, you never know.

46:05It's the FA Cup. It is the FA Cup. It's totally true. I don't think you can rule it out. I'm going to be there. I don't know if you're going crouchy.

46:12Chris Stark: I'm not going to be there, unfortunately, no. Okay. You're going to be there, Sid. I'm going to be there. I'm taking my father-in-law, who's a big Chelsea fan. So I'm getting some real son-in-law points there. That's good. I'll hopefully see you there, Sids. We'll have a few beers. We'll have a few beers, I think. But yeah, most importantly, I think you're right, Crouchy, in that it's a cup final. It's the FA Cup final. I just, I don't know. I don't think this is clear cut. I've not made any predictions in this game because I've decided to outsource all of this to my wife again. so just let me know when you want me to fire in the voice note and i'll give yeah i'll let her decide what i think we're all we're all on the same page i think you are right it's a one-off game um chelsea on their day have got top top players uh i think man city are probably slight favorites to win this and yeah man city piss me off sometimes though because it's just like just say it really like it's annoying how many times i've gone to wembley and watched Man City lift a trophy, even with teams that I don't support.

47:18It's amazing if you're a City fan, right? But I would love to go to Wembley and not lose to Man City. And I guess I have to back Chelsea. I know it's quite an obvious thing to say, Crouchy, but it's just so many times. Yeah, I totally agree.

47:33Chris Stark: I totally agree. Listen, before we get into the predictions, right? Let's hear from Paddy Power's Minister of Mischief. You sent another letter in. Oh. Okay, Crouchy, Chris and the Notorious Stop the presses, sound the klaxon Chris has finally delivered Decent week All it took was Rhea stepping in to stop The rot, if only she could make Your picks every week, we might have had a little Title race on our hands Crouchy, wasn't a bad showing From you and Abi Eva, two points Is a solid effort, unfortunately it wasn't Enough to clinch the bonus points, and the gap Is down to seven And Sid, just one One point for you and Chrissie.

48:13Chris Stark: It seems you're both on the beach already. But when you're 19 points clear at the top, who can blame you? Still just two weeks left of the season. It's time to raise the stakes again. Up until now, the chaos cards have given you the chance to gain extra points. But this week, we punish failure. Oh. That's right. This week's lowest scorer won't just be missing out on bonus points. They'll actually be losing five points. I actually quite like it. You prefer the stick to the carrot, do you? That's ironic.

48:48Oh, had a good week, have we? So well. Okay. Shots fired.

48:54Chris Stark: He's had one good week. The thing is, at the moment, I look like the stick as well. The stick and the carrot. That's both of you. That's great. We should write a kid's book. That would be funny. Okay, no, I actually like this. Well, potentially, Crouchy, now that I've got my missus totally fired up on this, she makes a couple of good predictions. You just need one little slip up here and you are getting punished, my friend. Losing five points and me getting two, three points is proper cat amongst the pigeons. Sid, are we allowing this managerial change? At the end of the day, it's me, you, and we're supposed to be playing against Chris and he's just drafted in as a temporary manager.

49:45Yeah, I see where you're going with this. Yeah, I look at throughout the season, I mean, he did call upon a lot of listeners, wasn't he? You had a lot of DMs that you were going to as well. So he's kind of had an assistant near enough the whole way through. Whereas this one I think now is basically caretaker manager. This one's coming. Yeah, let me get this right.

50:05Chris Stark: So let me get this right. he's basically sacked our entire listener, our entire listenership. Yeah. And replaced him with his missus. Well, and myself. Yeah. Yeah. Honestly, it depends on your views on it. I could pretend that she's assistant manager or I can't, you know, I'm just being fully transparent here that I've handed this over to my wife in the interests of me scoring points. I suppose it's how you want to call it. You're right. I could take control. but if I'm honest with you, it will be my wife predicting the results at the end of the season. Right. Listen, without further ado, let's listen to the, let's listen to Mourinho.

50:50Mourinho. Mourinho. Mourinho. Mourinho. Mourinho. Mourinho. Mourinho. That's so good, Crouchy.

51:01Chris Stark: Okay, listen, before we get into Mourinho, the other two games as well are Manchester United versus Nottingham Forest then we've got Newcastle versus West Ham please enlighten us okay here we go hello hi Pete hi Sid regards to your families okay Chelsea and City I think up final oh oh I think it's going to be a one-all but Chelsea will win an extra time or penalties please um bold maybe the next one man united versus forest i think united one forest nil and newcastle versus west ham i saw west ham last night and they were yeah they looked like they had a bit of fight in them so i'm gonna back west ham on this one.

51:58I feel like they need the points more. So, I'm going to say West Ham 2, Newcastle 1. Bosh. Bosh. It was a little bosh at the end. It was a bosh at the end. My wife just boshed. I didn't know she boshed. She doesn't normally bosh for me. I just want to say, I just want to say that was ultra professional, efficient. That was seriously

52:23Chris Stark: professional. Studied homework. Yeah. Yeah. That's a shout for the FA Cup though. One all. I think Chris, potentially she could maybe replace you on the actual podcast. Don't start. This is... Because you know what you're doing now. I do think there's definitely something in a wives special. One week we just let... Like the whole podcast is just them. Especially if there's a guest like we bring in a pardew or someone like that just to interview.

53:03Chris Stark: Oh, brilliant. I think we should do it. Can you imagine? Whoa. Okay, so that's her thing. So Sid's, Chris, I mean, listen, I think they're great, fantastic predictions, I have to say. Sid, where are you going to go with Chelsea Man City? I do like that shout, one-one, from my wife. One-all, yeah. Yeah, the draw, 1-1, yeah. I think I'm going to go, I think Man City might just edge this. I think they're probably more than slight favourites. I think Chelsea do turn up, but I think City get this done. And I'm going to say... It's 90-minute score predictions though, isn't it? Yeah, I'm going to say they get it done in 90 minutes.

53:48I'm going to say 2-0, Man City.

53:51Chris Stark: Okay, I'm going to go lean towards Manchester City as well. I think it'll be a tight game. I think one goal in it City might score first I'll be 1-0 and then I think Chelsea might throw caution to the win later on and City go and get two more I'm going with 3-0 Manchester City 3-0 in the FA Cup final wow yeah wow so as well Crouchy I don't know if you knew this as well that the FA Cup this weekend they're showing it from 9 o 'clock in the morning like it was in the olden days are they? So I believe TNT are live from nine and they're going to do, I don't know what they're going to do, but like how it used to be when we was growing up.

54:35I hope there's some desperate padding throughout that. That was my favourite. And I want helicopters following the bus from the Grove or wherever they are all the way to the stadium. I want a helicopter. How good would that be, yeah? Totally unnecessary, following it down the motorway. Yeah. I used to love that. I want all of that.

54:55Chris Stark: You know what's so good about the, when you see the bus, like, around Wembley, is, like, I grew up not far from, so I'll go, oh, there's the Mackies there. Or, like, you know, I could, like, I could tell you exactly where they were and how long they were going to be to the stadium. It's very exciting for me. Well, you probably saw the helicopter going above and everything. You'd hear all the sounds of it. Do you know what I mean? You'd see on TV. Which was on the top floor. I could see, we could see the Twin Towers from his bedroom. yeah brilliant how cool is that love it love it great day that that sounds really good sid yeah um a whole day of fa cup coverage we need to make it great again i know we've said this with shin pads but the fa cup final needs to be fully respected as a national day in my opinion i think it's a day it's one of those it's kind of like the day off isn't it like for no nothing else should be done other than what yeah i agree and also can i just say abide with me I don't know I think we've mentioned it a few times in this podcast but I still think when you hear that at Wembley or you see it on TV and you say I love that I love that about the FA Cup I don't know why it's the anthem of the FA Cup and there's dare I say it's a shout for a national anthem for me I would say that would be you know if we were looking at sort of throwing a new one in I would like to look at a bit of history there I wonder why that is you are right the anthem of the FA Cup why?

56:18Yeah it's brilliant because yeah anyway it's very emotional

56:22Chris Stark: please let us know I'm sure there'll be people out there that will 100 % know I think most people will probably know why it is the anthem they pick up but please write in and let us know moving on Sid Manchester United versus Nottingham Forest you got a prediction for me? yeah I think Forest have struggled of late I think United get this one done have to give Carrick the job they have to go and give him the job I think Man United win this one did you did you really say 1-0 on this one? 1-0. Yeah, I'm going to say, I'm going to say Man United win this one 3-1. 3-1 United. 3-1 United. All right, I'll go for a missionary, Manchester United 2-1.

57:06Missionary 2-1 for culture.

57:09Chris Stark: Okay. Love it. To Newcastle versus West Ham. This worries me from a Tottenham point of view, this one. I think they're like... I'm leaning towards what Ria said, actually, with regards to West Ham need it more. And I think they might get a result here, but can they win? I think you're right, though, Crouchy. And I think they've shown in these big games, well, you know, obviously we're talking about Arsenal here, and in this sort of fight to stay up, that they can fight and they can, you know, they can potentially get a result against anyone. Yeah, I think a win might be a bridge too far, but I'm going to say 1-1 all.

57:55Okay, I'm going to go for... I'm going to go for a West Ham win. I can think they'd get this done. The Geordies won't be happy up there. Wow. I'm going to go West Ham 1-0.

58:10Chris Stark: All right, lads, listen, we can't forget the Paddy's boost. This is where we each pick a leg of the Crouch Pro bet builder. One of the odds of the vet builder, boosted by 20%. Put on the special section of the website and app. I'm going to go first. Player to score first, Jeremy Doku. Nice. I like that. Okay, player to be carded, Enzo Fernandez. Okay, and a player to have two plus shots on target. One choice, really. I've got to be Erling Haaland. Solid. The odds are correct at time of recording. Please gamble responsibly. All right, lads. Great pod there. just before we go obviously there was a Games Gone that was actually fed into the group by Sid's this one's really angered you Sid's hasn't it yeah I think it's angered a lot of other people no it was who was it was it like the assistant referee that was on match of the day match of day 2 and he and he come out and said about not having players in the penalty in the penalty area first of all 6 yard box oh sorry yeah it was a 6 yard box for corners and then he went on to say the penalty area before three kicks was taken as well.

59:18I mean, what absolute drivel. Right? Waffle of the highest order. I mean, I had to comment on it on their socials, BBC. Oh, did you? You nibbled? Yeah, I did, yeah. He's nibbled on it. Yeah, I've nibbled. He's nibbled on it. I don't know. Steve Sidwell doesn't like.

59:37Chris Stark: He didn't like that. What did you write? Absolute waffle. Wow. What, you know, kind of these sliding doors moments, if they had brought that in through my career, number one, I don't think I would have had a career. And number two, we certainly wouldn't be sitting here because I wouldn't have had a podcast because no one would know who I was. If I was not allowed in the penalty box for crosses or a six-yard box for a corner. So this is all from the Arsenal, to stop the thing with keepers, right? Being in their keepers. Yeah. Right. So just to be clear in football now, no one's allowed to touch the goalkeeper.

1:00:21Is that where we're at? Well, that's what he's trying to say, isn't it? That's why I put it up there. Put it up on the Games Gone board. I tagged in Pete Crouch Podcast. It has to go up there.

1:00:32Chris Stark: Do you know, like on Soccer Saturday, you know a Soccer Saturday game where people love them drinking games and stuff like that, right? I think now in a live game, you have to have a shot if someone says, it's like UFC in it or it's like WWE wrestling. That's now become the buzzword. I found myself saying it on the Liverpool Championship game the other day. And then I went, oh, please don't say that because everyone's saying it at the moment. But yeah, I reckon everyone has a shot if someone says that on the weekend. Yeah. Get your eyes peeled. I can't believe it angered you that much you commented by the way match of the day my morning commute nibble you're normally so chilled with everything I'm hoaxing sorry a morning commute nibble SIDS get back to the likes mate alright okay sorry lads we'll see you next time

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