EP. 404 | That End Of Season Episode: We CALLED Declan Rice The Morning After Arsenal WON The League

0:00Chris Stark: Hello and welcome to that Peter Crouch podcast. Most of this podcast won't be remote, but I've been called away urgently, lads. Unfortunately, I'm not going to be there, but I have got Chris Stark and Sid holding four in the studio. Is everyone okay there? Not really, mate. Not really. I've never been in anywhere hotter. The Chumba Womba is... Honestly, as we're recording this, I believe it's the hottest day of the year. It's hot. It is roasted. Not just sweating, man. There's no air con. Because it's a podcast, every window's got to be closed as well because you're not allowed to hear anything else.

0:33Even Sid, who, you know, as we all know, loves a holiday, thinks this is too much. Really? God, if Sid thinks it's too much, Jesus Christ.

0:41Chris Stark: I mean, I'm full of air con here. There's loads. So I do feel for you. Well, that's the main thing. As long as you're cool, you know, that obviously is the overwhelming priority in this situation. Thanks. um very quick one just before we kick things off i went out uh on the piss i'm gonna say how it is with clive tillsley yesterday and it was so funny just hearing the voice that has soundtracked uh you know some of the biggest games of football the voice of football ordering a curried goat it was just real sort of life goals that you never knew you you needed it was amazing really how does how does he order a curried goat like does it feel like a commentator ordering it yeah because also i think because a couple of people in the pub started to recognize him a bit obviously he then he brings out his personality a bit more and he snaps into commentator mode and And even things like there was a DJ on and the DJ went through this period of some really good songs on that he liked.

1:50And then it all got a bit heavier as the bank holiday progressed. And at one point, Clive sort of started doing analysis of the music and the DJ. And it was just it was just so surreal. The whole thing. Amazing. I wish I wish we could do it. We need to take some of these people out on the piss, you know, and just activate them a bit. because it's great fun. It looked good. Food was good. Food was banging, mate. Food was banging. But yeah, how was your bank holiday? Pete, you sent me a video of your barbecue area. I mean, gosh.

2:21Chris Stark: Yeah, well, obviously I have moved house and obviously the previous owner had a Boister BBQ of Dreams. I'll send you a little video of it. Sid's actually been around and seen it, but he'd come around for a beer on, I think it was the Saturday. And then, yeah, Sunday I did a big barbecue, mate. it's some setup it's some set up let me say i need to bless it i think it's got everything it's got like the flat the hot plates is it hot plates it's got the rotisserie it's got a pizza oven it's got a i don't know an eight grill barbecue do you know what you're doing with it though crouchy is this yeah no idea i've had a little listen but yeah i'll be honest with you it's very much all the gear and idea.

3:09Chris Stark: I mean, half of it is completely wasted on me, if I'm being totally honest. It's not my setup. It's the previous guy's setup. It's obviously a BBQC himself.

3:21Chris Stark: So I've just kind of inherited it, but I'm really pleased with it. And listen, what I'd like to do is kind of invite the podcast as a whole, really, not just you boys and, you know, the wives and the podcast team. I'd like to invite, you know, everyone around to my house, but we'll just, we'll do maybe an episode from there. Yeah, great. From the barbecue area. I love it. Love it. Amazing. All right, then. Where do you want to begin? So we've got a good episode today. It's going to be a good one, but we're very keen to record this bit of it as quickly as possible, just because we are melting. Right, so we discussed an end of season episode, really, in the main bulk of the podcast, and that was all in the studio.

4:02Chris Stark: But that was prior to the actual games, which is very like us, really. We kind of recorded an end-of-the-season episode before the end of the season, which is very similar to our 401st episode when we realised that we'd hit a milestone on episode too late. So, yeah, not ideal. But what we can do is reflect on the fact that mainly kind of Spurs stayed up, West Ham went down. but the biggest talking points for me were substitutes getting guards of honour and there's thoughts around that really, that's kind of where I wanted to start It's come up a lot hasn't it I've got tagged into a lot of this Do you know what, it's so hard because the players, I take it we're talking about John Stones and Bernardo Silva aren't we, legends they've done so well for the club and you want to give them the proper send-off and it is it is touching it is fitting but just feels a little bit too stretched oh it's not it's not good it's not good for the game I saw Rooney being quite passionate about this he was quite passionate about it but I'll be honest I'm pretty passionate about it myself I think Bernardo Silva and John Stones have been fabulous players like he had won everything I totally get it but I kind of understand it to some degree with some players you know like if it was um like totty at roma or like maldini and i'm not demeaning them like demeaning them as players because they've been brilliant for the club but i don't i don't know if where do we where does it end is my problem you know like well that's it because it's all relative isn't it every club has their own totty i mean are we doing this for troy deeney when he left watford where do you draw as you said where do you draw the line you know every club will have a legend my problem with this is it will almost look disrespectful if you don't do it now well that's the problem this was a bit like when when we had that first hundred million pound player then suddenly all top players needed to be valued at north of 100 million yeah jack greelish or all of that yep it sort of sets new new norms in the game and look obviously we're overanalyzing a guard of honour here.

6:22But I just don't think there's much need for it. You don't want to piss around too much with the actual in-game stuff.

6:27Chris Stark: I just think there's so much time. There's so much time before the game and there's so much time after the game to, you know, give them the send-off that they all deserve. During the game, I think, should remain kind of sacred. Yeah. Do you think it should just be left to one club man and it's done? but if you're there for the that one club for the whole of your career then you deserve a guard of honour then you get the guard of honour but why can't we do the guard am I missing something here why can't we do the guard of honour after the game why has it got to be in also sorry can I just step in there why do we have to have a guard of honour at any point because oh okay yeah it like I have never ever liked it the players that come out are like it's it's embarrassing for the players walking through you know the players clapping feel like twats no one in the crowd wants it who who's at home going there must be a guard of honor do you know what i mean no one wants it i think end of season you know we've we've got a routine that works you know final game fans get told if you enter the pitch you're not going to have the parading of the wives afterwards we then do the parading of the wives and then we you know we all go about our summer and i think there's a nice routine with that it's something we all understand you know yeah yeah for me i'm saying if you want to if you want to celebrate someone maybe whack them on a bus and bring them round the ground or something before the parading of the wives there's plenty of time no one's going anywhere yeah i'll be honest with you i just want to see i want a four-year-old i want to see a four-year-old score a goal at the home end and i want to see a parade with the wives and then you know and then a little clap as they do a lap and then I think we're job done there, aren't we?

8:12And a role on the World Cup. Absolutely. Love it. Brilliant.

8:18Chris Stark: Yeah, I think before we move on, lads, obviously, you know, congratulations to Arsenal. Congratulations to Hull, obviously, going up. That was a good result all in all, I think. That's a villain you overlead. I think, really. The whole thing. I mean, right now, me and Sid's are sweating more than the FA during that playoff final.

8:38I mean, that was kind of the ideal result.

8:41Chris Stark: I actually saw the FA. I think it must have been supporting. I reckon it must have jumped up when Hull scored. But it can't possibly have anyone else going up. I mean, I've never seen before the game, it flashed up on, I think it was BBC Sport, it flashed up. Before the game, bear in mind, Pete, if Hull lose, they're going to take legal action before the game. There's only one outcome. It's outrageous, isn't it? Yeah. Yeah. What a time to score though. Wasn't it like 94th minute? I think it was. 94th, 95th minute. One of those at Wembley. Bosh. Yeah. Amazing. Unbelievable. Just a couple of things before we move on.

9:25Chris Stark: Obviously Spurs staying up. That was, you know, a big relief for everyone. Lots of people that I know around me. West Ham going down. Felt for West Ham a little bit. You know, I know they would have been so pleased if Spurs had gone down. But West Ham as a club, I don't know. It should be the privilege. It's a shame they've gone down. But yeah, obviously, if that was to be at Spurs' expense, I'm glad Spurs have done it. Just regarding the celebration, I wasn't sure. I mean, Sid, you actually put it in a WhatsApp group. The vicario parching of the Derby, for me, was, I mean, that was a new level of parching.

10:00Full parching, wasn't it? It was as though, because it was one of the ones where the header's gone first, so he's gone to celebrate with him there. then he stopped he's checked to see if he's gone in then he's looked at the gaffer again it was proper man marking tight wasn't it we we do need a va parched to to sort of check some of these parchings going on because that was that was unreal and then did you see when a manager's trying to pick the ball up to belt it into the crowd yeah but he couldn't do it because obviously he was on his back yeah parching away i mean at one point he had two legs off if If you really look at it in slow-mo, you see it.

10:37Two legs off the ground on his back. Unbelievable parching.

10:42Chris Stark: I mean, it was just, it was like Martin Keown stroke Chris Perry in his heyday. I've never seen tighter marking of a manager in my entire life. It was phenomenal, phenomenal scenes, really. And it's actually, we don't want to see that in our game. You know, that's something we need to really kind of try and eradicate this kind of parching. The other one was El Paccio. obviously Aaron Ramsdale he's kind of marked our card on Martin Odegaard's parching of Arteta and obviously one of the first persons that Martin Odegaard has FaceTimed was obviously Mikel Arteta trying to get him down with the lads to the party straight at the game again another parching I did comment on the post actually you know I got some good numbers back there really agreeing with me and you know with the El Parchio shout yeah just give him half a yard i mean just let the staff and the manager celebrate and then you have your your own time but you know yeah it was just one other thing i noticed in you know at the end of the season there uh there was someone quite high profile someone was talking about um they had a couple of drinks and said that they couldn't function the next day and they gave the reasons for it and how much you know they did something about their whoop and something else and you know how much a couple of drinks really affected them and i just it was just the comment underneath this post really really tickled me it was it just basically said Ollie Watkins has been on the piss in Istanbul for the last three days then he scored a brace at Man City so I said you know some of us can function after a drink yeah I've always thought that of you Crouchy your ability to reload is unbelievable really and since it's often been the same you know yeah there was definitely something in that it's a fair play the players who've celebrated that's such a good point actually and still managed to go about it puts a bit of rest to school silence yeah right let's get into the end of season review just before the end of the season

12:51right lads

12:51Chris Stark: so the season is officially over now and it takes you back to kind of when we we finished season wise like did you did you stew on things? You know, like say if you'd had a really good season, would you be lying there and going, fucking hell, I'm fucking awesome. Or would you, you know, if you've had a shocker, you go like, oh, fucking, it should be fuming all summer. Like, does it affect your summer is what I'm trying to say. Yeah. I think for the first, if you, if you go away straight away, it did. But then you, I think my mind, your mindset normally then goes into family time because like, it's a grueling season, isn't it?

13:28You know, mentally it's, it's tough. and then it's about spending time with the kids. It's about, you know, just having a beer,

13:35Chris Stark: just having chill time. I had some stiffness, you know, or I had a couple of scars from like, from the season and you look down and like, you'll have a memory of the season, do you know what I mean? Like if you've played a lot of games and your legs feel heavy and you just get on a sun lounger and think about some of the games you've had, that's what I used to do. So silly question, if you're training every day, do you then, you're then totally out of that routine, almost immediately after the season. I did, yeah. You say goodbye. Well, we were told to completely rest, no sport, nothing for like two weeks.

14:08Chris Stark: Just total mind and body detox. Yeah. That's if you had a long, you know, if you had a World Cup, for instance, the lads have got this year, then, you know, that's difficult to do. You've got to continue through, haven't you? But then how is it worth for Arsenal at the moment? So they've just won the Premier League, right? And then they've got this unbelievable celebration, 22 years, but they've got the Champions League before too long how much time are you allowed to enjoy that time with no limits or is there any time off? no no no no if you've got Champions League they'll be training the whole way through there'll be no break they might have a day or two off they've won the league so I imagine they'll it looked like they had a little bit of a party it did didn't it?

14:47Chris Stark: it looked that way mate I was at the radio right I'd gone to sleep gone to the radio and then as I was on my way into work I saw that the Arsenal lads had turned up at the Emirates. At five in the morning, they'd turned up there. They'd been out, haven't they? That's pretty cool. But they looked quite fresh. Yeah. I think the deck was a little bit hoarse. The others were just... They were good, weren't they? And there was a few fans as well knocking around. Yeah. They had a few pictures at that time, but they must have... It looked like they was all at the training ground, were celebrating, maybe watching it all together.

15:21Yeah. And then a breakaway, whether they've all gone out or a little breakaway, I've just gone, are we out out? I think what was so special with the fans was the time lapse of seeing it all get busier outside the Emirates because as it started as the game started from what I could see there was relatively few people but there was a few people there that wanted to watch on phones with other almost like minded people and then you just see as the time goes through it as it goes through the 90 minutes it just gets busier and busier then a police fan arrives and then just everyone seems to turn up and then fast forward to 5 in the morning Saka Rice like there was a little bundle of them wasn't it brilliant wasn't it it was so good have you spoken to him since who Dec yeah I did throw him a message to congratulate him I didn't hear back from him yet so I assumed he obviously went out do you want to give him a try now should we give him a try

16:11Chris Stark: let's why don't we just FaceTime him and just see what he's up if he's up to you know he probably won't answer will he we'll try it's a cold call are you doing a call or a FaceTime let's FaceTime shall we Oi, oi, oi! Oi! Oi, oi, oi! Oi, oi, oi! Oi, I'm going for nine holes now.

16:39Chris Stark: Nine holes. Mate, I'm going to play nine holes now. I'm sat home, mate. I'm thinking I've got to go out. I've got to go play some games. Have you got a day off today? Yeah, we're off today, to be fair. and then I'm going to go over I do I'm going to go and play some golf brilliant have you been to bed I went to bed for a few hours but I can't believe it I don't feel real so pleased for you mate you deserve it honestly it won't sink in for ages but yeah incredible how do you feel mate because you've had a load of pressure now it's done now it's like you can just it's done come on you're a Premier League you're a Premier League winner mate I know that's what I mean it's like mate it's mad because when you're in season and that all you think is obviously with all the small narrow losses we've had throughout the last few years you just think it cannot happen again after leading for such a long way it's obviously in the back of your mind and then with obviously how good City have been and how good they are we think bloody hell but we knew once we'd lost at Man City away we knew still like we took so much on that day we was like yeah we're gonna we're still gonna do it we still believe so mate we're just buzzing we're just buzzing love it superb son superb mate can't believe it hey listen get yourself down there play nine holes mate enjoy it I'm telling you now **** about to see

18:11enjoy it man alright mate take it easy what up mate

18:16Chris Stark: what a guy what a guy I've got no allegiance to Arsenal whatsoever as you know, right? I, you know, it doesn't bother me if they win the league or not. I don't, you know, but deck is one of the greatest. He makes me love that team. What a great player. And, you know, possibly the best player in the Premier League this season, you know, like he deserves it more than anyone. And we see him about it, don't we? And he is the nicest guy in me as well. To be fair, even, you know, he mentioned it there, even when you look at that City game and you saw, you know, he's on the ground and he's literally saying it's not done it's become a bit of a meme and you mix that with the Haaland but you know he was right ultimately wasn't he?

18:59he was right and you've got to give credit to that credit where credit's due and I think a lot of that goes to Arteta because he when he went in there he made some big calls early doors changed some names got some big players out changed the environment changed the culture and they've come close a couple of times and they haven't done it probably elegantly this season but they grinded and they got it over the line and that's what you've got to do

19:28Chris Stark: yeah I think there's been like there's there's a massive disrespect for Arteta I think and has been for a long time now and you've got to say at the end of the day he's finished second so many times that shows consistency and then they've got over the line this time round right so yeah but there were shouts of Arteta out I mean there's some people that you know without naming any names, you know, producer Jamie, who said he would rather not win the Premier League and Arteta leave. And he said that, bearing in mind, he said that three weeks ago as well.

20:02How do you feel now? I feel you need a right to reply on that. Yeah. If I speak, I'm in big trouble. Oh, what a reply. Good reply.

20:10Chris Stark: If I speak, I'm in big trouble, if you didn't hear that. all right, well, you know, it is what it is. Yeah. With regards to Liverpool, I mean, even Xabi Alonso going to Chelsea, mate, is a mad one for Liverpool fans to take. And they're losing kind of Roberts and Salah. Salah. Off the back of last year, losing, you know, Trent and Diaz, Jota. You know, even Nunes, to some degree, felt like he was missed this season. I don't know. Liverpool fans, you can understand why they've been a little bit disillusioned at the moment. I don't know what you made of Salah's comments either, but it's a pretty damning on the manager, isn't it?

20:53Chris Stark: Yeah. Did you ever feel at any point, you boys, I'm just trying to think of our old stories as well, were joining great teams at a time where they'd just experienced greatness and you were being added in? I'm just trying to look at it rather than almost just being reflective about the Liverpool team as it was and imagining all those players that have now moved on when you look at that squad from, you know, four years ago, for example. Did you have personal experiences of joining the team at that moment when another team was doing well? Or were you generally brought in when a team was underperforming?

21:28Chris Stark: Yeah, mainly. Mainly underperforming, really. Having said that, I went to Liverpool when... After Istanbul. But then, having said that, I still don't think that squad was probably the best Liverpool squad to... No. I think it was probably got stronger, not because of my arrival but because of certain other players that came in around that time after that Torres being one Reign I think it got that squad improved you know what I mean Aga Skrull people like that improved the squad even though they'd have such an amazing triumph in Istanbul yeah you feel like I know what you mean it feels like there needs to be a big summer doesn't it for Liverpool yeah like with players coming in players that have left over the last last year and last season this season the Salah one it feels like a massive relationship broken down with the manager wasn't it really it's been the biggest sort of outcome for me even the manager I don't really know it's not really been cemented is it is he going to stay is he going to go like there's a bit of a disconnect so and the fact that you know that he's coming out with Salah feels like he can come out and speak like that I know you know there's a lot of people like liked it as well do you get that confidence when you know you're leaving a club and you're just comfortable.

22:44Maybe you're a little bit older as well.

22:46Chris Stark: It's a bit of those. He's just dropped a bomb in, hasn't he? Yeah. Yeah, it's just left a bit of a sour taste, hasn't it, at the end of the season, which hasn't been a great season for Liverpool. It just feels like it didn't need to. But having said that, though, Sid, if you are on the inside and you feel strongly and care about the club, then maybe it is the time to do it, you know? If you don't want to leave the club in disarray. Do you know what I mean? You feel like this actually, nah, this needs to be said. Yeah. So you could look at it at two sides, really. What did you make of the championship playoff game?

23:23Chris Stark: Do you think Southampton deserves to be thrown out of the playoff final? Where do we start? Where do we start with this? This is a complete, this is a mess of a situation, a mess of a precedent. I've got questions for you boys based on this. Like, just imagine you're part of a team let's even just go hypotheticals there's so much discuss like it's it it's cheating probably by some technical definition that i can't quote right now but there's probably some agreed rules and that's how it's been done on technical basis but let's just take that to one side for a second there's a punishment here which is so so massive and then there's a lot of discussion around that but then also other teams have been rewarded by that situation and other teams equally have been punished as well because they're not allowed in the final.

24:16There's so many layers to this but then there's the player point of view which is what I wanted to ask you both. If you're part of that team, that Southampton team, right? And this has nothing to do with you. What do you do in that situation? How do you feel?

24:32Chris Stark: Well, I just, the way you say this so many layers, what if you miss out on, what if you've been relegated by a few points or you've just missed out on the playoffs by a few points and you find out that they spied on you? Those three points or two points could have been the difference. Well, why did Middlesbrough go to the final? And you're rewarding one semi-final over the other. I appreciate it was Southampton. Middlesbrough, yeah. But Middlesbrough lost the game as well. You know, I'm not saying it's right or wrong, but Middlesbrough lost and they're in the final. I just don't I just can't yeah I just but there's the amount of analysis and data and stuff in football now I don't see what they would have got out of it do you know what I mean like I know that there might be the odd set piece but you can find all that out and you can see what Sid you get the finest insight on this podcast into football right are Southampton cheating if they listen you know yeah as they get us three you know spot on opinions oh my god listen we have three games every week and majority of times Sid has won it by two points to one.

25:35Chris Stark: Do you know what I mean? Three games. I've got question marks about what you've been looking at. You know, have you been around my house before your binoculars? We've all got question marks about what you've been looking at.

25:48You know. So going back to this, right, you're a player on the Southampton team. Hypothetical here. You find out you are now longer, no longer, you're no longer in the playoff final because of this whole thing what are you saying to each other? So you're basically saying that you've been robbed of playing the Premier League for one and possibly the increase of wages. I doubt, yeah I believe there's an issue with parachute payments that are going on so some of them are potentially taking bigger cuts because of that, again not sure, but even just on a kind of, let's take the money out of it for a second and just go on the purely like wanting to play in the Premier League and that.

26:33How are you boys feeling about that? Like, because you probably don't have anything to do with this situation.

26:39Chris Stark: Yeah. Think about the players, right? A lot of them, the players at Southampton, they probably don't know. That's why I mean. This is happening, you know, they don't have a clue. They're full, is it? I mean, one of them was doing the binoculars celebration. Oh, yeah. We'll part that to one side as well. It's all a bit of fun, isn't it? My biggest one would flip it onto Middlesbrough that have got knocked out that are now back reinstated by the way. So they got beat by Southampton. As a player you go in probably the next day you get your boots you probably have a debrief listen lads we come close we come back next season here's your off off-season programme some of them might jet away straight away they might be on holiday and they have to go whoa whoa whoa get back we're playing we're in.

27:21Chris Stark: Do you know they'll go and win it now I don't know. Oh imagine that. imagine that there's so many layers to this there's more to this that's going to come out there's more to it in some way shape or form this is the problem now with the internet and we've been hot on it this season I saw a picture of Carrick signing as permanent boss at United as well yeah that's not that's not we've been done with Fergie next to him I think that was AI is it with Fergie next to him with Sir Alec what what we've seen me have an AI girlfriend I know in this very my mate sent me on the way here my mate sent me a picture of him and Dua Looper today and I I fucking went hook, line and sinker because he works on film sets he does ads and things like that and I thought he sent me pictures like pre-AI of these things and then he just went too far I'll show you it guys I mean that's up close and personal look at the that is him and Dua Looper in my opinion that looks real I do like doing it she's great yeah it looks like she wants to be there yeah and look then he sent me on with Brad Pitt can you ask him how he's achieving that that Brad Pitt one looks like he's just got off the street and then and then then it was he had one with his mate and me and I thought well now he's taking a piss because I'm in yeah that is scary oh you had to check it wasn't you yeah that's scary yeah so can you really like that's mad isn't it That one looks so real.

28:56It's a great picture. Hey Joel, that is there. It's a screensaver. But then why don't we start embracing the technology a bit more on this podcast? Maybe next season we'll have to, because this is what we're up against. We're competing against. There's a gap here. We'll get more clicks on this podcast. If we superimpose Dua Lipa into the middle of it. Should we do that? I think we might have to now. There'll be people that we just did it for. I'm going to be.

29:23Chris Stark: do the terry butcher let's do the photo let's do this week's photo take a slap of that three two one

29:32I don't know what the rules are anymore

29:34Chris Stark: the game's gone the game has gone actually I don't know AI in it so you're saying it might have been an AI Fergie well I don't think Fergie is going to be in the signing picture oh I loved it because the picture of it as well was proper you know that Cat Stevenson father and son it was you know it looked like that it was a bit you know I was once like you were now and I know that it's not easy there's a couple of things Xavi Alonso and Jose Mourinho Xavi Alonso going to Chelsea and Jose Mourinho are just dismissed as AI I'm dismissed seriously there was one recently as well like Valverde and Tumani they were having a fight in the dressing room and someone had like been recording it to me it looked like that was the footage because it was grainy a little bit as well and they were just beating each other up and I went oh my god I can't believe it's been released and the other one was underneath it was like it's just AI it's fucking that's the mind for it out there it's wild mate it's wild what about the Mourinho thing then what's your views on that just quickly there before you answer that question the other thing was you notice straight of Hamous yeah here we go I love this podcast so much but you don't know what's incredible just everyone one second like when you watch this on YouTube right what I always find funny is if you want you can scroll through the bottom of it and it has little headlines for what's been talked about I've always thought that's quite neat this is my view crouchy on the straight of her loose is not one I expected to pop up to I've got an opinion yeah so what I read again I wasn't sure was AR or not So I read that the military were training dolphins, right, to track for...

31:24Chris Stark: Mines. Mines. Yeah. I don't even think. So they've trained them to go down and find mines, come back up and tap the boat, and they've got little cameras attached to them. There is potential that there are dolphins going down. Yeah. And sussing out these mines. Well, I've seen Russian... Fucking hell. You don't get this on CNN. I've seen Russian interference, I believe, with, I think the chat was that whales, but the smaller whales. The country or the animal? No, no, no. The animal in Norway. And I believe that some of the whales have had, say, cameras attached to them and things like that. and they're going and scouting around.

32:17Ken can't be sure if it's AI or not.

32:20Chris Stark: This is what I'm saying. What I'm saying is, you know, when I've raised that point is, I don't know what's going on here. Feels like an April Fool's Day about the dolphins. There was a picture of a military guy flicking him around like that as if he was in SeaWorld. And he had a camera on him. So Crouchy, are you saying there's an army of dolphins out there? Apparently so. All I'm saying is I don't know what to believe anymore. My mate was with Dua Lipa before. Yeah. And I was reading about dolphins. I don't know where I am is what I'm saying. I just think as we move into another series, this podcast is good.

32:56We're going to have to adapt so quickly. So quickly. Talking of, just quickly talking of things I don't believe. I got a message from Lewis Lineker yesterday. No, today. Is that a sign? No relation. No relation. So it says, Siddhas, love the podcast. Big fan. I'm a Spurs fan and just won a competition by the club to present the Spurs fans player of the season. Feel like I should just walk off and keep it to myself. Was thinking, when I have it to hand it over, should I just hold on to it real tight? Going to be cameras and recordings everywhere. What would Crouchy do? It's this Friday morning.

33:37Chris Stark: So he's got to give it to one of the players and he's going to he's going to just hold on to it really tight he just said what should I do Lewis Lineker I don't know whether this is AI I don't know if this is real firstly did you say Spurs yes so he's kind of a weird one this season to have to award a fans player of the year yeah I think that's what he's getting at isn't he I don't think anyone wants to no one deserves that yeah he was just looking for a bit of advice I think even the players would agree like that's an it's awkward receiving awards off this season well yeah I remember we ploughed on at the Stoke Awards when I think we'd been relegated and everyone was like the awards all the players were like what the fucking hell is this you can't you can't have an awards evening no we had the same at Fulham yeah do you not think if you get relegated you should go the other way around should be players reward given the trophies to the fans do you know what I mean like you just you'd have to totally reverse Uno the situation yeah or Dolphins giving it to Fern okay so present yeah you might as well he is right you might as well have some fun presenting the award you know some levity in what could be the equivalent of a wake that's literally it it's embarrassing isn't it when you haven't performed it is I'm trying to think what he could do but I can't get the dolphin thing off the board if he goes and presents it like a dolphin with the trophy in his mouth that could be the thing is the players will be embarrassed like I don't think holding on to it is going to be I know he wants to hurt them as much as the player he thinks the players have hurt the fans but well if he does let him maybe he messages in and lets them know what he done what he decides to do it's a hard one I think in that moment you're just going to have to play it with a straight bat and just hand the trophy over I think but perhaps just lean in and give him a back stronger or something that's what you do exactly that you just lean in and you say back stronger back stronger that's it that's it okay then let's get into the league for the final time this season

35:49listen

35:50Chris Stark: I just want to announce the final scores of our football league it was kind of writing was on the wall Sid you finished with 90 points congratulations champion of this year's football league our football league 71 points I finished with unbelievably Chris you only missed out by two points. I know. And I am urging, I'm urging anyone listening to this to go through every podcast this season and count the scores again, just in case. Well, you've ended up with the magic number of 69. Did I? Did I finish on the 69? I didn't know that. You finished. It was a great way to finish the 69. Wow. Wow. All right.

36:35Well, I take it we'll be talking forfeits sometime soon. I look forward to that.

36:39Chris Stark: We're going to talk forfeits now, unfortunately. Okay, lads, this part of the podcast is supported by Paddy Power. For one final time, lads, here's a letter from the Minister of Mischief. It says, hi, Crouchy, Chris and Sid. Well, well, well, that final chaos card really set the cat amongst the pigeons. But just like that, it's all over. Another season done, another league settled. and if we're being honest, another year in which Chris has brought deep shame upon his family. Bloody hell. Forgive me Sid, but I won't congratulate you again. Enough has been said about the impressive manner in which you wrapped up this year's league.

37:17Chris Stark: I await your title defence with intrigue. Crouchy, squeaky bum time for a minute there but lucky for you, however badly you stunk out the Chumbawamba, Chris was always on hand to stink it out worse. this has been written by a child which brings us to the main man of the moment Mr Stark himself where do I begin there's flashes of hope Rhea's tactical intervention the final week points swing a brief period where there are whispers of an unlikely comeback but alas here we are once more staring down the barrel of another stomach churning forfeit and all this after last year's title win how the mighty have fallen.

37:59Chris Stark: Unfortunately for you, the falling hasn't finished just yet. All will be revealed with this week's forfeit, this year's forfeit. Stay tuned to next week where I reveal all. For now, I'll leave you with this. It's been a pleasure stirring the pot this season, lads. Regards to your families as always. The Paddy Power Up Ministry of Mischief. P.S. See you in America. Lads, we have one more surprise and that is we have a prize for the winner. Could we now please give SIDS his prize? Okay. Someone is approaching the Chamba One Bar. Do you want to come sit down? I'd shake your hand, but it's a very sweaty hand.

38:36Okay, Pete. Kane has just sat down in the Chamba One Bar. He's bearing gifts. So, Kane, you've made this for the winner. Yeah, so this is for SIDS. It's a championship ring. Yeah. Wow.

38:47Chris Stark: That is something else. Look at that. This is a championship ring, like an NFL championship ring. Yeah. Yeah, it's got the Crouchy Pod logo on the front of it. It's one of the most blingy sort of things I've ever seen. This is incredible. It says, kiss the ring on the side. That is phenomenal. And on the other side, this is, did you make this cane? So basically it's got four carat 20 total of diamonds in it, yellow diamonds for obviously the colour of the podcast and then white going around the room. 2025-2026 league champion Mr. Stephen Sidwell Kane do you want to do the honours and present so hold on is this officially a ring I can put can I just say like hold on a minute like what in this day it's month like the prize is phenomenal the prize is phenomenal Crouchy wow okay god this feels like a ceremony oh my gosh Sid takes the ring in one hand it's weighty boys it's the real deal I'll just commentate over the top here as Sid inserts his finger into the ring oh the insertion of the ring into the ring look at that and he's in crouching wow look at that mate good luck walking home with that look at that I need to put that in a box or something mate this is look at this that is top level that I love it you've got your name engraved on the underside of it Oh, name engraved.

40:23Look at that. That is one of the coolest things I've ever seen.

40:26Chris Stark: Thank you very much, mate. That's so good. Absolutely awesome, mate. Nice dress. I actually want to win that. Yeah, I know. I wasn't aware there was a prize. There's only ever been punishments on this podcast. Yeah, but I'm quite excited. At least we know now that it's worth winning. And then if you see, Sid's will wear this all the time now. you'll be committed to do so if you see Siddy out and about you can kiss the ring can't you? I'm wearing that ring as a mark of respect to the champion well you're going to wear it surely all the time I'm going to wear it but when I don't wear it I mean there's no other better places as we insert the ring onto the rubber finger of the hander pod oh man fantastic Cain great work mate thank you thank you so much mate that is absolutely awesome is this what you do is this your job?

41:18So basically I work for a jeweler's nine to five during the week and then I've got my own thing on the side, which is Kane a jeweler. And yeah, I just made it myself. So yeah. It's incredible. So you find you on socials, all that sort of thing? Yeah, I'm on Instagram. It's at Kane a jeweler. Yeah, that's it. Okay, great. That is incredible. That is, honestly, that is a work of art. Thank you so much. Thanks for having me. All right. Boys. Very good. Yeah.

41:47Chris Stark: Okay, well, listen, lads. I've loved the Premier League season. We know there's going to be some incredibly exciting things during the World Cup. We're not going anywhere. We're going to go bigger and better in the summer. But I've enjoyed our Football League. Congratulations, Chucids. At least we know now that there's a fantastic prize in store as well as a forfeit. And I feel like a winner as well because I've finished at mid-table. It always feels quite emotional at this bit of the season, wrapping up the podcast, doesn't it? I remember last year, Crouchy, you just gave us your final thoughts.

42:17It was like, do you remember Springer's Final Thoughts? Yeah, Springer's Final Thoughts, yeah. Do you want to just bless us with one of those, just something nice and deep?

42:25Chris Stark: Yeah, I haven't got anything really prepared, but what I will say, it's been emotional, you know. There's been some real roller coasters this year. You know, on the couch there, it was interesting having Terry Butcher on it, you know. You know, we went quite deep with Terry. We had some laughs with Gary Oldman. You know, we've had a lot of music, with a lot of interesting music this year. And we've had a lot of fun along the way. And what I'd just like to say is, for the World Cup, obviously we'd like to be back stronger and Chumbawamba. Just even the other day, someone said to me, regards to your families, and if you do see us around over the summer, please say that again, because it really perks up my day.

43:09Chris Stark: And if you see SIDS as well as me, or even Chris, for actual fact, please continue to kiss the ring. even on these hot sweaty days regards to your families everyone buying furniture for your business can be full of compromises confusing choices and little support national business furniture is here to change all of that we believe that every business deserves furniture that lasts service that cares in a partner who gets it at a budget that works At National Business Furniture, that's our commitment to you. Find the right furniture for you and your team at National Business Furniture. Visit nbf.com and use promo code POTEN to save 10 % now.