How Opening Day Defeats can RUIN a Whole Season...

0:00Chris Stark: Hello and welcome to that Peter Crouch podcast. Me, Peter Crouch. Got no tour assist ID and of course, Chris Stark with me. I'm away lads. I apologise. Hope you're all alright in a chumple one bar without me. So I get a lot of stick for being away, right? This man, this man is a world traveller. he is but he's open about it yours are a bit more on the sly we don't know about it secret traveller by the way Steve Sidwell naturally adopting the king's throne outrageous listen this is the truth you've stitched me there as well why are you throwing under the bus laughing behind the camera we said let's do one on the sofa leave this leave the holy grail but the cameras wouldn't work we actually tried to get chris in the chair and it was a flat no it's no it's a respect thing there's not a chance i'm going in the king's chair not a chance i think you'd think you'd see yeah um so you're on holiday pete which is which is lovely okay but that's that's cool so we make this work and it's a bit of a confusing one because we jump on here for predictions and then um in preparation for peepin away on holiday we recorded a little bit that you're going to hear a bit later on.

1:23It'll all make sense. Just enjoy the podcast. Um, just on the holiday thing, cause we've had quite a few people get in touch who are on their summer holidays as well. I've been passing the pod, which is a great thing. Um, there was one message I saw. I don't know if you've experienced this where you are, Pete, and they were talking about why is it different when you order a steak abroad? Right? So the, the whole grading system changes. So if you want a medium you've got to ask for it well done if you want well done you've got to get it burned if you ask for rare it's it's it's alive yeah yeah have you experienced that out there yet pete

2:00Chris Stark: no i haven't i haven't really got to grips with that um but i i do understand yeah when i've asked for like medium it's come quite rare yes yeah that makes sense you've got to club up with the steaks it should be global it should just be a global rare medium rare medium so do you think world leaders this is the sort of thing that they should be doing so perhaps what they should be doing is meeting once every year just to regrade steaks and beef just to just these are the sort of things that actually are important you know yeah i get exactly what you're saying now because i can i can reminisce i think being at like dinner and the wife saying oh like for the kids upstate you know and then her being saying you know you better off getting it maybe well done just in case this is what i'm saying so just word of warning out there i get it yeah okay all right good advice i get it um just while you are away p i've just noticed uh you've got a wristband on um a question for that is that a all-inclusive wristband or is that from the oasis uh vip gig

3:06Chris Stark: do you know what is it i had a couple of wristbands for the oasis gig and this one was i couldn't get it off so i ended up wearing it and then my little girl went oh that's a cool wristband so i ended up leaving it on um but yeah it's from oasis in dublin um wowza what a gig that was um i was absolutely phenomenal we got we got very well looked after we were spoiled it was it was fantastic, it was where we were the place was jumping I had to get a flight because I went to the Villa Newcastle game, I did that for TNT and then we kind of raced there straight after the game to the airport got on the flight and actually a load of people that went to the game were going to Oasis as well and it genuinely was absolutely sensational, I went to the Wembley one but just I think where we were because we were in the mix sub, it was a little bit kind of on a platform uh it was just perfect perfection oh i think i know where you were so yeah we saw you leaving the game i was i was watching it on the on tv it looked like a proper um you you played it beautifully because you talked about it on tv it meant you could literally just drop a microphone and say i'm off and and everyone was happy i was like kind of thinking is there any way of me leaving early to catch his flight because it was it was so it was touch and go and in the end like they were just like just go yeah listen I made my plane it was all good and one of the best nights of my life it was nice because I took my little girl as well and she's seriously into omniscience now as well which is great well sometimes it shows honesty is the best policy with these things you know whether you're at school or at work or something you want a day off you feel like you've got a feigning illness or that kind of thing and actually sometimes it's worth just being honest saying look i really want to get on the lash in dublin do you mind if we wrap this up 10 minutes early that's what you did that's pretty much exactly how it went chris yeah and then you said you were looked after and were you on that platform at the oasis gig where i sometimes see it is um it's covered and it's right in the crowd and it's sort of friends friends of the band was it one of those ones one of those that's exactly where it was yeah so we were very well looked after and it was just so special but being in the mixer because last time I was right in the back for the Wembley gig so being close to them and seeing them rather than looking at the big screen just seeing them in person it was special it was a moment and I think if you get the opportunity to go to a gig or haven't yet I think it's something that you just don't want to miss out on it because it genuinely is a special special thing I've got to go September when they're back at Wembley yeah September the 27th you're doing the Sunday the Saturday oh Saturday yeah that's what I'm going to try and do yeah yeah yeah well I mean yeah Saturday or the Sunday but let's make it happen Sid okay okay talking of shooting off from the game Pete Villa Newcastle what do you think opening game of the season a little bit disappointed really with it I thought yeah Villa Villa didn't come out of the traps at all.

6:24Chris Stark: Newcastle looked the better side. I thought, obviously, they are missing a centre-forward, Newcastle. But having said that, I think the three that they've signed, well, the three that they played up front, sorry, certainly with Alanga's added the pace with Harvey Barnes and Anthony Gordon played through the middle. I mean, on the counter-attack, they were unbelievable, Newcastle, and that's what they'll get. But with the pace, Villa weren't quite at the races, and then obviously they had to send it off. and then they had to kind of, like it was all hands to the pump. Kamara had to kind of fill it in the centre-half.

6:56Chris Stark: Yeah, a bit disappointing first game. You want to go to a game where there was loads of goals on the opening day and I was at the game with none. So it was a slight disappointment really. But two teams will be up there definitely. There's no worry about them. I think Villa, you know, slightly more concerned for them than Newcastle. but I still think they'll both have good seasons. It killed us, didn't it? That was in our predictions. We all fired blanks on that one. Yeah. Well, it was quite a low-scoring weekend, actually, apart from you, Crouchy. And this is it. The league is up and running. I don't feel we've given it the respect or treating it as seriously as we need to, considering how tight it was at the end of last season.

7:38But three points ahead right at the start. You must be thrilled with that.

7:42Chris Stark: I'm over the move with that, mate. quite often we don't get three-pointers do we you know it's a bit of a dogfight of a league so for me to get off to a fly like that it really does mean a lot and that was obviously the Brighton-Fulham game 1-0 very pleasing for me last minute equaliser as well fine margins I think this is going to be a close one I think on this league I think the first one I can go back to a few of your predictions I think there was a few like five nils and six nils that you threw out. Well, that was, I mean, I remember the first time we did this, it was, I basically used my heart over my head.

8:21Yeah. Often we were pissed in the Chumbawamba and I was making these decisions. And ultimately it doesn't pay out for you. And that's when you end up dancing with cheerleaders at the darts. That's when that sort of happens. You get sloppy, don't you?

8:34Chris Stark: Just touching on that. Firstly, you know, we made up that rule where it was like over four goals. We were just like getting extra points to flow. Like it was an absolute shambles of a league. Yeah. Got sucked into that. For all the people that have said that, you know, I've been bottling my forfeit and stuff like that. I've made conscious efforts now to, to get this forfeit over the line just because I don't want to take any more stick. So this, I mean, it's looking likely that this is going to happen in the next couple of weeks. but can I just be clear on this? You're not designing your own forfeit.

9:05What we've had to do is we've designed your forfeit. We've had to get you involved in slightly facilitating it. basically giving it the big I am, you know, because ultimately a text from Peter Crouch gets, gets listened to. A text from Chris Starr doesn't. So, so, so we've had to get you a step in. I just want to assure everyone listening that this is a fantastic forfeit. Crouchy knows limited details about it for logistical reasons, but it's going to be special. And provisionally, I believe locked in for the next couple of weeks, two, three weeks. All right. So the forfeit is, is coming. Um, there's quite, quite a few fun plans and just, um, whilst we're talking about, um, so what we've been up to of late and all that, uh, I really enjoyed the episode with Luke Littler.

9:55I thought it was, I thought it was a great podcast and I've, I saw a load of the clips going everywhere. I see we've got the darts in the Chumba one bar now. Yep. And what I really liked Pete is, um, I was showing a mate around the Chumba one bar and it's becoming a bit of a museum to this podcast there's some uh turmeric shots up there there's some of henry lansbury's lawn stuff you know it's like it's really building up quite nicely now lute littler's darts you know it's a shame we can't get the little uh the with this i'll say little i believe it might be a big windmill kind of water feature picture from the samurai oh we need to get that can we need to get And then I was thinking like, my only regret really is that we, I didn't ask for my testicle to be put in there.

10:42We could have got that sort of pickled and put. In a little jar. In a little jar.

10:48Chris Stark: Wow. We could have had it hanging from the roof, you know, like a little dice in a cab. That would have been ace, wouldn't it? Just hanging that off. Wow. But let's just all agree, if any of us get any body parts lobbed off, like let's make sure we keep them for the chumbo one bar, moving forward. Fucking hell. people keep like a holding one ball for golf let alone literally a one ball imagine Prince William comes in again what's that that's my bollock your highness amazing like Frankenstein's fucking lair

11:25well we got the hand over there as well it's all going to be Adam's family but anyway we'll continue to do this and then I think we should do guided tours of the Chumba Womba for the odd podcast listener at some point, you know? It's like the odd guest here. It could be fun, couldn't it? Yeah, I like that. Yeah, I like that. So did we enjoy the football being back? Were you watching it abroad then, Pete? Because that's always a joy, isn't it? When the time difference is a bit different and you're in a hotel bar and that kind of thing and linking with the other dads.

11:54Chris Stark: Well, you know what? I was at the games, wasn't I? So I was at the games and I watched the Friday night game. I was at home for the football. And then obviously, you know, I'll come out here straight after but yeah I absolutely loved it it's great great to have it back I thought Sunderland coming back to the Premier League did fantastically well Leeds the other night looked sharp didn't they I don't know if you watched the game yeah first half I thought they were brilliant actually like really came out of the traps Ellen Road looked like the place to be I mean didn't it it was bouncing at the what did Gary Neville say he said other than Rangers Anfield yeah he'd put Ellen Road next he also got caught did you see the clip of Gary Neville being caught oh mate I was watching it live he didn't his mic was on oh no he basically said there's no what was it there's no other fans there's nowhere I'd rather not be it was showing the fans on TV the Leeds fans he was going that's one group of fans I don't want to be I wouldn't want to be I wouldn't want to be anywhere near them yeah that's it hot mic and he was like oh we're back on but honestly they was coming from that rivalry between Man United and Leeds is so intense and I imagine you get a hell of a lot of grief down there well he certainly will now when he goes back yeah yeah I worked the weekend I actually well on Saturday I went back to Reading for the first time in about 15 years and watched them the Wimbledon and then on Sunday I covered Chelsea Palace and I got trained to Clapham Junction and I jumped on a line bike from Clapham Junction to Stamford Bridge and just rocked up as you do and I've done the same going back and then I popped off at the ship on the Wandsworth Bridge for a couple of jars we've got a bit of stick I forgot you're Sid I forgot you're on your own at the minute aren't you I wonder why he's popped in the ship for a couple it's getting hot in here I knew I should have wore this jumper today

14:02Chris Stark: do you know what you know when you're when you are on your own sometimes when you've got and you love your family to pieces as i do but you know like just hopping on a line bike going to the football then going to the boozer when you're just when you're on your own well you think you think you've got a freedom responsibility well you've got no responsibility you've got a freedom that you don't really know what to do with like you feel you have to do something you don't know what to do with it it's it's that same feeling as when you go through um you know the toll and there's no lanes on the road and you just have it.

14:31There's no real reason why you do that. But it's that same feeling when the family are away. Yeah. I mean, my oldest is here. He actually went to the game as well, H, and he drove and I finished and I said, what are you up to? He said, we're in the car. He was with his friend and they went. And I was like, well, I'm on my own. Well, they went to the ship? No, they drove home. And I jumped back on the line bike all through the fans. But he loves a line bike, doesn't he? They're great. You should have your own range, Sid. Orange bikes. That would be great.

15:05Funny, yeah? So funny.

15:09Chris Stark: I went on my first line bike the other day. I absolutely loved it. Someone wrote in. Why are you all on loving bikes? You've not done it yet. I've never done it. Oh, you will love it. Oh, mate. It's that first push-off where you absolutely ping it. Yeah. You go. It's unbelievable. Oh, well, let's do one after the pod one week. We'll jump on a line bike. I still don't really understand how you can just dash the bike anywhere. I don't really understand. No, no, you've got to take pictures of it now. Yeah, park up, take a picture of it. It says, can you take a picture of your parking? And it says, good parking, tick, away you go.

15:43Chris Stark: Yeah, you've got to take a picture of where you've left it now. You can't just leave it anywhere. No. So Sid, you had a bit of a, I mean, that's a Steve Sidwell weekend, isn't it? Two of your former clubs, you go to Chelsea. Yep. Reading as well. How has it been now? I saw a picture go up on Instagram as well. Yep. Got to see a few of the old boys there. A few of the old boys, yeah. See the gaffer, Steve Koppel. Looking great, Nick. 70 years old. Yeah. Dynamite. And then, get this, Pete, it's Reading Festival this weekend as well. It is, yeah. So you'll be, you've told me you're keen. I'm keen.

16:15I'm keen now as well, if you're going. Because, think about it, the King of Reading at Reading Festival. This is going to be like, you know when, oh, who was it? was it Giggs who brought out Drake halfway through his set and everyone went mental. It's one of the best videos. Giggs bringing out Drake at Redding.

16:38Chris Stark: Is that where he runs? Is that where he, does he walk out to the middle? He's running out. Everyone's just throwing everything in the way. It's like feral. It's used as the epitome of an example between UK crowds and US crowds. It's awesome. It looks so good. And he comes out, it's okay, okay. like unbelievable we've got to get Sid's doing that at Reading as well wouldn't that be mad like whoever's headlining Saturday night no no no you'll get Sid's ladies and gentlemen Steve Sidwell he comes up okay okay and the whole crowd just starts bouncing mate it's the wrong crowd there new woke generation new woke generation they'll be like who's his boy band who the fuck is this guy we've got to do it I want to roll around Reading Festival with Steve Sidwell.

17:25It'd be awesome. Okay, let's go. I'm down to go. Oh my God. I've not been to Reading Festival. I met my wife there. Yeah, mate. I've not been there for ages. I've never done it, believe it or not. I didn't meet it there. It was like the first date sort of thing. Went back to her in-laws afterwards. Always remember waking up in the morning and hearing her dad outside the door and thinking, shit. And like looking out the window, you know how you make hungover decisions? looking out the window and he's got gates at the end of his drive and I looked at him thinking like I'm just going to have to climb them I was going to do a proper like out the window and then climb the gates to get out of there and I had to be on the radio that day honestly it was so stressful hold on just rewind this one second so you met at the festival it was like it was like first date sort of thing so first date met her before so you stayed at her house on the first day in-laws on the first day no Rudy's I did try I'm not saying that but there's still some going that is yeah because

18:32Chris Stark: does he know this now does the father-in-law know this now well he knew I was there at the time yeah because I could hear he was not he was not happy no he wasn't he was not happy and I just thought rather than have to go onto the landing here and deal with me you don't want to meet the family day after Reading Festival do you no no no you don't want to do it I don't want to meet anyone the day after the Reading Festival so I contemplated a down the gutter over the over the gate sort of vibe but then that would have been weirder with hindsight because he knew I was in there so that would be weirder knowing that I was in there and then I've he looks outside I'm dashing it over a gate he'd probably become prepped with a cup of coffee for you he's the soundest bloke though he would now that's the thing he'd welcome me well I'm married to her so it's different

19:24if he doesn't you're in trouble it's funny how it changes isn't it like you you look then and now it's like it'd be dead sound because they live near reading festival so it'd be dead sound about

19:35Chris Stark: it i just love it if you'd if you'd still never met him and you're still trying to scale the gates every time yeah mate or once a year is an anniversary tradition i leave via the window over the gate. Brilliant. Oh, go on, lad, let's do Reading Festival. Yeah, let's do it. I've got to have a busy day on Saturday, but I'll come join you in the evening. Just back to the football, lads. I was at Stamford Bridge, I'd done the game. Did any of you see the Oliver Klasner Palace manager and Mark Gahey after the game with the fans? So he's blanked him, Sid, right? You're at the game, what's your take on it?

20:12Yeah, do you know what? It's one of those ones where there's sort of two scenarios on this. So it's after the game, they go and clap the fans. I think Mark Gahey's gone over already to clap and then he's on his way back. And then Oliver Glasner's going over and he goes to call him. I don't know whether to go back over to clap or whether just have a chat. And you can clearly see Mark Gahey look over and kind of sort of do that with his hand and then just sort of blank him and walk straight to the tunnel. And then Glasner, and it's literally the worst thing for a manager. it's on the camera live on Sky so he's got a front here and then he sort of stands here and he goes to Mateta and says like what's wrong with him so I think there's two scenarios in this Palace weren't great in the second half right they were very good in the first half second half they weren't great and probably should have got beat really so whether he's just so disappointed in terms of the way that they've sort of let the game slide because they was in control first half and he was disappointed or there's the other scenario where he's already thanking the fans he's trying to get him back over to do it and he's just said I've already done it but it doesn't sit well and look well on the cameras it doesn't look well but then the angle on it Pete as well when you see it I don't know it looks like you can't quite see if he's said nothing or if he's just sort of very quickly gone like done it do you get what I mean?

21:40unless there's something I haven't seen here

21:42Chris Stark: I think we're we wouldn't read anything into this if he wasn't some speculation around his future it looks you know if he'd done that anyway there would have been nothing made of it it's just the fact that you know was it Newcastle Liverpool lots of rumours circulating he might be he might be leaving yeah I do as well because as well I think looking at him and his personality and his character and what you hear coming out of Crystal Palace he's not going to ruffle feathers I mean they're looking like they're going to try and get a deal done for him to go but he's playing week in week out the World Cup's in the season he's got to sort of play his cards right here and I don't think he's one to just sort of do I don't want to mention it but Isaac can just you know but yeah okay but then let's entertain the idea for a second he has just ignored or blanked or whatever the word is is that like are we reading too much into that even in the worst case scenario here he might not have heard he might not have wanted to speak to the manager on a camera because he knows of this speculation and everything.

22:45I mean, you forget that the players are literally seeing a camera following them around. Like, they're guarded at that point. Maybe you don't want to speak to your manager. You know what the optics are of it. Do you know what I mean? Similar to this as well, but slightly different. I read something. This must be bollocks, but I'd love to know if this is true. Love it. What an opening line. This must be bollocks. Neymar gets a clapping bonus I did see that have you seen this? I think that was when he was at PSG when he was at PSG yeah but a ridiculous bonus as well 200 grand every time he goes and claps the fans can we google this let's have a look no no no he's definitely online he's definitely online I saw this whether it's true or not

23:35Chris Stark: so he'll just go and clap the fans and he gets the 100 ,000 200 bags every time he claps the fans. Yeah. He had a clapping bonus in his contract. I can't. That cannot. That cannot be true. That cannot be true. Seriously. I mean, it's everywhere. I have seen this, but... Google's saying it's true. I wonder if there's a duration where he has to do it, where there has to be like a minimum of a minute or where he can literally just do one clap. Yeah. One sync clap and then go. But you can't reward that. Imagine that. That's... The only thing in our day that might have happened was if, you know, if you, if you returned after the summer without the clap, you get a bonus.

24:25Hey, that's wild. Did you get STI tested when you came back from the summer? No. No. No. Not unless you pulled the doc in a private room, but you could have done. Yeah. Yeah. It wasn't a standard. It wasn't a standard thing. Right. eye test, dental, right, STI. Drug. STI. No, no, no, no. Talking of STIs, talking of STIs, Chris Wood. Yes. Blimey. Okay. What? Chris Wood. Just have a look at this, Crouchy. Sid's his knuckle here. We don't know what he's done with his little finger or where he's been, but he has got some sort of Quasimodo style hump on there.

25:11Chris Stark: Looks like, when you lie flat like that, it looks like a crocodile. That is like a knuckle extension, isn't it? That's like a knuckle on knuckle. I really don't know where that's come from. I was looking for like, because we've got an influx of false widows. It might be a false widow. It doesn't look like I've been, there's a bite on there, but yeah, I don't know. I don't know. The wife said arthritis. I can't believe the old false nine shout has gone to spiders now. We're going to get a false widow now. That's so true. The false two, the false nine out of false widow. We've got to get that in this season.

25:50What else can we get in? We've got to get it into other things. It'll just drop in. It'll drop in. Keep an eye on that, Sid, you know.

25:56Chris Stark: Can I just say, Granit Xhaka as well, led Sunderland to a 3-0 win. Obviously, I'm not sure how much he knew of his new teammates. We raised that in the last episode. But yeah, obviously gone and done a business there with a 3-0 win over West Ham. I did say, I have to say, I did back Sunderland as potentially a team that could stay up. I think they've bought really well and they've started fantastic. I do worry for West Ham though. Yeah, I think you're right. I mean, just on Sunderland, I mean, the home form is massive for any team that comes up and we see that from Sunderland and Leeds against Everton who are poor.

26:38And Joe, you're right. I think you've got to worry for a Brentford, a West Ham. I mean, Wolves, they got done for by Man City who were unbelievable.

26:47Chris Stark: Yeah, but Wolves as well, I think, are in that three. And if you look at Leeds and Sunderland, certainly at home, I think they're going to pick up points. Yeah, yeah, I agree. I agree. Do you think that is more likely in the start of the season where you see a team like Leeds, for example, and that new energy at the start of the season. Do you think that's harder to maintain in the second half and therefore it's vital to get well ahead in sort of this period of the season? For your spot on, Chris, yeah, I think like the energy, I mean, the sprints, the closing down, like the atmosphere, I mean, if they keep that up for the whole season, they're going to be fine.

27:25Chris Stark: I was really, really impressed with them leads. Yeah, we mentioned, didn't we, about first game of the season when teams go to a newly promoted team. When we sit there, we sit on the weekend. Leeds at home, beat Everton. Sunderland, beat West Ham, freedom at home. Burnley go away. Tough place, Spurs. Yeah. Get done. Yeah. Home form, home form we keep, especially that first bit of the season because the fans are flying. They're buzzing their back. Yeah, I mean, the atmosphere every stadium, I think the weekend, just because football is back everywhere, up and down the country. It just seemed like the weather was great.

28:02It just seemed like it was a real buzz for the weekend. Yeah, totally. And shall we briefly mention the Everton penalty as well? The consensus here is that it felt harsh.

28:13Chris Stark: It feels harsh, yeah. I mean, I think it might just hit him just below the T-shirt line, but he's got his arm really down. He's not meant to. And it's took a deflection. How difficult is that to get out of it? I think if he doesn't give a penalty, I think they don't overturn it the fact they did oh I see what you mean yeah yeah but are we in the realm now of if even if you can't physically move your arm it's a penalty if you're sort of in any way leaning towards the ball is that how it is now or like you've got to just stand perfectly erect at all times with your arms by your side why are you laughing why I don't know like that's what I mean because then the game's going to go mental if everyone is stood like like a pencil if everyone has to stand like that to avoid penalties it's going to go mad I think in any walk of life if you lean into something erect you're going to get punished we're trying to have a sensible chat here about the football it's been dragged into the gutter

29:23Chris Stark: right let's get into some games this next part of the podcast is supported by Paddy Power. It's the big weekend fixture. This is Manchester City versus Spurs. City are 2-5. Spurs are 6-1 to go to the Etihad and get a result. So, good odds on Spurs. We fancy it. Listen, they've proved that they're definitely better than last season, I think. Kudus looked sharp, but City looked back to it, I thought. it's one of those where you're like we're only ignoring City for the league title because they were so they weren't themselves last year but you know getting Rodri back Reiner's looks unbelievable player Cherky looks like unreal Harlan looks back to his best they look great John Stones you know like he struggled for fitness last year are we not ignoring the fact that these these these are going to be right up there I think you are absolutely spot on I think there this could be a pep masterclass yeah I think he at some point during last season knew he wasn't going to win the league right and he's just he's just done like a little secret folder for this season right honestly and he's just going to unfold honestly I think there's a chance that City could blow this one away because his team talk over the summer would be listen everyone's talking Liverpool everyone's talking Arsenal no one's even mentioned us we've won the title six years out of the last eight like he's near near enough one a title every time he's managing his career yeah disrespect disrespect and they've just gone and blown walls to pieces right I think this could be a this season Pep could like could be he looked great as well like just on a kind of like just checking with Pep like he looked well this weekend and and vibrant and dare I say it healthy but like he it was interesting the questions that got asked of him how he answered them in relation to the chances this season I think he's well aware of how people are talking about City he's not having to pretend to front it because of last season and I think you're both bang on I think we should be really considering them as coming back this season literally back stronger they looked awesome I did think, obviously, they've got Pep Linders in as well, you know, from, you know, Liverpool Jürgen Klopp's assistant.

31:55Chris Stark: And, like, it looked like they were having a little bromance. Like, it's almost like he's brought something new as well. And, like, he's kind of, kind of, I don't know, opened him up to a little bit of how Liverpool played when they won the league. If you get that blend of Man City's kind of possession football and then the heavy metal football as well blended together. That is some mix. See, Pep Masterclass. Yeah. I think this file, the Pep file. Having said that, Spurs, I'm happy with them as well. I think they look good. Spurs, Richarlison, people were saying that Richarlison, that was his best game ever in a Spurs shirt.

32:35He was electric.

32:36Chris Stark: That's stronger, I would say. He looked like all he needs is a manager that believes in him. Thomas Frank has played him a lot in pre-season. He obviously likes him. I think he's going to love his shit-ousery. And what a finish. You know, Bicey. Yeah. Crouch special. Oh, beautiful.

33:00Chris Stark: We should recap on the league, actually. The current standings are three to me. I got Brighton-Fulham 1-1, correct score. And that was the only real scoring of the weekend. Chris 0, Sid 0. So I've gone off to an absolute fly here. I went with Tucker's 19 predictions last weekend, which was a mistake with hindsight. Lovely guy, I'm sure. And we do need to give him a call at some point, I think, and get him on the pod. But I'm afraid I can't go with Tucker's anymore. I've whacked a picture up on Instagram, as I always do, to get everyone's predictions. Some of the comments are already good. It's only been up five minutes.

33:37Al Brown says, tell Steve Nitzwell, that's a lovely polo. honestly everyone loves you today he said like james norse great names tell fanta pubes he's looking very suave i see your predictions james lewis says never back the early kickoff that's an interesting theory isn't it i've heard that i've heard that quite a bit quite a few people

34:04Chris Stark: say that. And Dan Bishon says, I predict, so out the games we're doing, we haven't said what they are yet, but I'll just give you a little tease. His predictions are ball draw, followed by Desmond, followed by a Wolverhammering. Oh. Wolverhammering. New word unlocked. All right. Okay. Okay. So City Spurs should be a good game this, I reckon. Can I just say Spurs to repeat their 4-0 win? Do you remember that last year? Any takers on that? 200 to 1. Turn against you, 2010. I can't see it happening. No. Go on, Pete, kick us off. You boys go, because I'm obviously leading. You never look down in a dogfight, do you?

34:54Rude. Did you hear that? I did hear that. He's gone early doors. Look at who that...

35:04it's 2-1 or 3-1 according to the people so I'm not sure on that give me one second let me have a quick check in let me have a quick check in Michael Dillon thinks 3-1 should we find someone with a funky name Darren Murphy it's not him but a different Darren Murphy 3-1 do you know what I might have to back this. Joe Treasure. That's a great name. Should I just go with whatever? Treasure, that is what you are. It's a Bruno Mars song, isn't it? Joe Treasure's gone 3-1. I'm going to back him. Okay, 3-1. I'll be honest with you,

35:47Chris Stark: that's what I was going to go for at the start. I won't now, though.

35:56All right, you're going 3-1 to Spurs, yeah? Yep. Okay. What? No. That's poor for me. What? Switch on. That's sneaky. Switch on. So now, you're talking to me like, your coaching badges just came into play there. I'm going to go 2-0 City, which I hate doing a clean sheet, but 2-0 Pep Files. Let's go.

36:26Chris Stark: I'm going to go 3-2. I think Tottenham are going to have a really good account of themselves. Loads of goals. Do I get an extra point? Yes, Pete. What we're going to do, I think we're going to roll that over from last season. So if you do a prediction where it's, I guess you call it 4.5 goals. So minimum five goals in the game plus as your prediction, you get an extra point if it comes off. So potential there for four points. So if you do go 3-2, then that is massive. Yes. that could be huge okay lads we've got Paddy's boost here we each pick a leg of the CrouchPod bet builder the odds are they're boosting it on the website by 20 % I'm going for a player to score first that's Harland I'm going for Harland to score first he's going to have a great season this year alright Sid a player to be carded I'll go with Paulina and I'm going to go for a player to have two plus shots on target I'm going to go Mamouche nice okay the odds are correct as I'm recording, please gamble responsibly.

37:28Chris Stark: Moving on now to an intriguing game here in West London, Brentford versus Villa. How do we see it? A disappointing opening weekend for Brentford. Was it the races at all? Three and a down against Forest. Villa, obviously you see the game, Pete. You said it wasn't. Well, I mean, I watched a bit of it as well. Slightly concerned as well, mate, to be honest about Villa. I think Brentford having lost and Buemo Flecker Norgaard I think they obviously they've strengthened with Kelleher in goal Jordan Henderson's in there but I don't know obviously losing their manager as well Thomas Frank I do worry for them and home form's going to be vital for them isn't it yeah especially home form I don't see anything past the Villa win here yeah I think so and you've got to look at that first game in the context that it was first game of the season and a red card as well in that game, wasn't there?

38:28Yeah, Concer. You know, did all right to maybe keep it at 0-0. Yeah.

38:38Good noises. Do you know what? I've done that before. Who's clipped that before and sent it to me? You did, didn't you?

38:46Chris Stark: We've got to clip all of Sid's little noises beforehand. Get them all together on a compilation. I'm going to go... You sound like a false widow nibbling on your knuckle. Or a snake. I think Villa win this. I think Villa win this. Olly Watkins could go back and score at Brentford. I'm going to go for a Villa... I'm going to go for a Villa 3-1. Interesting. Villa 3-1 away win. Big shout. I think Villa win as well. I don't know if there's as many goals consensus for me is Villa win that's what the people are saying I'm going to go 2-0 Villa oh you killed him he was going to go 2-0 I was going 2-0 ok I'll go Villa 2-1 no one back in Brentford as well it's all a bit one sided these predictions so far boring the crowd are not booing yet but there's sort of that horrible murmur that's happening one or two people getting up and just lobbing abuse towards us a few early walkouts just starting but you've got to be single minded in this game I've realised do you know what I mean I'm not here to entertain I'm here to not to do the forfeit yep it's a dog fight moving on to Bournemouth Wolves again this is another tough one I mean I thought Bournemouth were absolutely superb up at Anfield gotta say they were great loved the manager considering nothing they lost three defenders in the keeper in the off season and still like attacked Liverpool they went for it Cimignol was great Cimignol was obviously was massive for the right He's a player, isn't he?

40:47Yeah. Yeah. And to do what he'd done after receiving that abuse was not on at all, but fair play to him. Wolves really struggled against City. Really struggled. Didn't really see any sort of bright spark from them. I mean, I went... Pete, you can go first on this one.

41:06Chris Stark: Well, I've seen enough of Bournemouth. I thought defensively, yeah, they might concede, but I still think Bournemouth can score goals. I'm going to go for Bournemouth 3-1. Oh, I like that. I think Wolves can nick this. Go on then.

41:27I warn you, I'm going for Bournemouth. But these are the points of difference. Why don't you back Wolves? I don't see Wolves having enough to beat Bournemouth at home. What did you go for, Pete? Two run. Three one. Three one. okay I'm going to go I'm going to go Bournemouth win and I'm going to say 2-0 for Bournemouth yep that's what I was going to do so you've got 3-1 Pete

41:59Chris Stark: yeah 2-0 so then it's I guess it's whether Wolves get a goal for me 2-1 or 3-1 I really wanted 2-0 so I'm going to go I'm going to go Bournemouth 3-0 that's a convincing win that that is a convincing that relies on no goals that would mean Bournemouth have conceded seven goals in two games yeah right there's the league wrapped up for this week good luck gentlemen let's get back to when I was in the Chumbawamba we were talking about pre-season and a return to the Premier League

42:42Chris Stark: Yes, guys. You all just heard me. I was on holiday. I don't really know where I am anymore. I feel like I'm fucking in the Matrix. You're like Doctor Who. You were only just on holiday and now you're back in the Chumper One. But I'm there, but I've not recorded it yet. No, we're just going to have to explain to everyone what's going on here. Yeah, the explanation is we're in a Christopher Nolan film. I don't know who's where, what time zone, what world. Yeah, but I have done some predictions before this, but I haven't done them yet. Yeah. work that out do you want to give an explanation then what you work that out i'm confused and i'm here but are you but are you i'm really on holiday no what's what's happened is um we we weren't a hundred percent convinced uh that we could rely on connecting to peter crouch on holiday um the bit that you've just heard we weren't sure that that was going to happen so in an emergency what we thought we would do is record this stuff in the Chumba One Bar whilst we're all together so that we can add it on to the other podcast and in the worst case scenario if we can't get a hold of Crouchy because he's a bit too pissed or something or the tech fails us we could just play this out instead so you're getting the best of both worlds Pete on holiday and Pete before his holiday basically like Ab was firing questions at me and it was one of the best evenings we had in the whole trip kids in bed and one of the lads sent me a quiz question she saw all deep in thought she said I'm not fucking I've not had enough of this obviously she chat GBT'd it and started coming up with some amazing questions and we did it for hours football questions football questions it was fantastic well there was the two who were the first two Italians in a Premier League to have won the league won the Premier League that's a good one and then there was one other question Crouchy here's a good one this guy has played in the Manchester derby the Merseyside derby North London derby and the Glasgow derby Colo Torre yes yes well done see I thought it was a Paul Stewart one because Paul Stewart's played Merseyside Manchester people forget people forget he played for Celtic Colo Torre North London yeah that's the one that got me do you know who it was Abbey guessed Yaya I swear she went yeah yeah Torre and I went it's Kona Torre that's teamwork for you unbelievable anyway why did she guess that even that as a guess is an odd one well Sid's got it straight away there yeah well and Sid's some people get zoned out there but I was fully zoned in no you have dialed there's almost a challenge crouchy segment here isn't it you've got one of those kind of freaky pub quizzy or 4am what am I favourite the Italian the Italian one's good what I wanted to get into obviously it's the first week of the season we've had the first results How did you find a first game, Sid?

45:42Chris Stark: Is there any first games that really stick out for you? You've had a good pre-season. Yeah. You've got into the first game. Is there anything that really sticks out for you? It's mad, isn't it? Because when pre-season comes, I know we're going to dwell on pre-season, but you can't wait for the rest when the season finishes. Then you can't wait to get back in. The last few days of your rest, you can't wait to come back in and start training. And then when you start going through the years, you kind of know your body through pre-season. You normally have four or five pre-season games so then you know when the fixtures is out August first week in August that you're going to be ready for that game and nine times out of ten you feel good you're buzzing whether you're at home or away nine again it's often shining pitches are glistening good zip on there and then you get pumped there's nothing worse you've created you've done so well the whole summer yeah done everything correctly you've won games you've scored goals you've played well and then you get dicked in the first game.

46:41Yeah, a few of them have happened. One was at Reading when we ended up getting promoted, got beat by Plymouth at home 2-0 or 2-1, got booed off the pitch. Booed first game. Booed off the pitch at Reading, yeah. And then the other one was Aston Villa versus Stoke, away at Stoke when they just got promoted, which I always think is a banana skin, playing a team that just got promoted. Their first home game. And, oh, who was a striker? He flicked the card. Ricardo Fuller. I think he flicked it over. Flicked over Larson's head. The one where he turned the flick. That's an unbelievable goal. Flicked over.

47:21I think it was Larson's head. He could play. Ricardo Fuller. Yeah. And just the roar of Stoke. It was like, well, this could be a long season.

47:29Chris Stark: Yeah, but also you're in a game there. That's the thing. That's a team that's recently been promoted, but you don't realise kind of how good they are. Obviously, they stayed up, you know, and ended up being quite a team in the Premier League. Established Premier League team. Established, you know. But you don't know. You go, oh, there's a team coming up. We've got to go there and roll them over. Yeah. No. But the main thing is, the team talk, we would have all heard that team talk. Listen, don't take these for granted. They're going to come out. The crowd will be on their side. Let's try and flatten the mood.

47:56I just couldn't get a foot over the game. Just couldn't get a foot over the game. And yeah, it's obviously in one where we've won, of course. Yeah, but the opposite of what you're saying there, just on losing it. Is it only then, how early into the season can you know that you might be fucked? I think sometimes it's a little bit of a reset, the first one, where it's a little bit of a, oh, don't get too carried away yet. Like we might have had a few signings come in, you might have thought this would be a great season and then you're brought straight back down to earth. I think after sort of six or seven games, it can linger and you'll find out then, but not after the first one.

48:33I mean, the gap will come in and go, look boys, yeah, maybe a bit of pre-season hangover I'm not sure but if we're going to carry on a plan like that it's going to be a long season for everyone

48:41Chris Stark: nothing worse than that is there I remember being I was at Portsmouth when we played Chelsea and tough game anyway right playing Chelsea we had a good team at Portsmouth we thought we can give these a game was that at Fratton Park Stamford Bridge oh at Stamford Bridge yeah I mean it was a tough game but I mean I think it might have been five or six it was beyond beyond a joke yeah Deco was I thought he was the world's greatest player at that time yeah he didn't really do it for Chelsea did he but in that game I thought what a player yeah best player I've ever seen like the stuff he was doing and I was like we're going to be we're going to be bagging trouble but we end up having a good season yeah do you get straight back into the routine of it or how much sort of does the choreography of the pre-match change season on season do you get do you get spoken to before the game about right boys what you've actually got to do this time now is go parade out and you know salute something or wave to a flag or whatever it is You know what?

49:36That's right, because sometimes when a new manager comes in, you'll have a different route, like it's a different pre-match routine, isn't it? It does throw you a bit of that. Normally it's the same, but sometimes it can be a bit different and you'll learn that routine in pre-season, especially towards the back end of it when you play the final home game, the warm-up game, but then when it's the first game of the season, you run it and there's a crowd and you're like, I'm used to doing this, but this is all different. It can, I know there's a lot of players that are superstitious and they're like, oh, I'm not sure about this.

50:05throw you it does isn't it

50:06Chris Stark: even the new kits and the new boots I didn't like there's players that cope with new boots I didn't like wearing new boots ever did you know I hated it oh I loved it so I would wear one maybe two pairs of boots for the whole season if I could like Jack Grealish scuffed yeah I'd love to I just like them when they're all soft and I know it's a bit old school but the players that wore like JT a change at half time put a brand new pair on I can't I couldn't get my head around that that's not for me and I didn't like even the new kits new boots not a fan yeah but on the flip side there have been times where the kit was revealed and you've done the photo shoot before and you go this kit's nice I can't wait to wear this kit we had a few of them remember that at Fulham actually I think it was the first game it was the first game in a season it was Norwich at home and we beat them four or five I think Mladen Petric who we signed scored too and I had been injured the previous season for the back end of the season quite a while in my groin and come on and scored a penalty in the first home game yeah you come on come on and scored yeah yeah come on which was nice to take the penalty come on literally about 80th minute I think Petridge had gone off and a few of the strikers gone off and we got a pen and no one really grabbed the ball and I was like I love that yeah put it in the back of the net what about straight away I loved it loved it you must have scored on the opening day yeah none stick out in my mind but I would like to think I have you don't know I can't remember how much when you run out scored so many when you run out and you see you know a few seasons in as well how how familiar is it the fans in certain places or do you pick out the same characters or yeah that one got me that must be a nice feeling there was one I always remember there was a couple like at Spurs and I remember one particularly like you speak to some of the boys who played for West Ham like they know some of the season ticket holders that give them fucking stick every week you know what I mean like there was one at Tottenham I always remember it and I there's I think there might be some footage of it happening actually he gave me grief every week this fella one fella I always remember where he was it was like opposite the bench wild lane and lower obviously lower tier so I could hear him and every time I went over I'd just get fucking grief from him I remember walking you know when you do the left one yeah and I think he come down and he said something and I just thought fuck it I lost it a little bit with him and um yeah you know like there's one you speak to Rio Joe Cole like the there's an area there's certain areas you know but on the first day of the season are you running out and hearing that voice that one fella yeah he's that renewed he's like renewed the fuck is renewed he's got his season ticket there he's waving at you he's like we go again Crouchy you useless wanker I swear he fucking hated me Bobby Zamora had one as well I remember Bobby Fulham and he was just one as well he was like he was just right at the goal and he used to give Zamo a stick and he was a big big overweight fella and when Bobby it was a season that I think he was flying in after and every goal he scored you watch back of some of his goals he gets like a burger because the fella's always eating a burger as well in the stand and he's there just doing like like munching a burger in imagine I was like why do you lower yourself to that it gets to right like although you don't like I never ever bit the whole season you know I didn't bite at all until when we I'm walking now and the game's not even on so I've got nothing else to concentrate on and he's still giving me some grief I was like will you fuck off you but they're like regulars in a pub do you know what I mean the odd character here or there whereas you can walk into a pub you might not recognise the same people every time there's something quite cool about starting the season it's reassuring in a way even if they are being a bit yeah well you've all been there in grounds where there's that one person that's just negative also some people's voices in their career you can't explain it they just cut through more than others.

54:33I could shout as loud as I could try, right? And it won't get to the pitch. It won't get there. Yet there's one lady who's three rows behind. Whenever I sit in the rookery, three rows behind and her voice, I don't know if it's, it's not necessarily the volume, it's the pitch of it or something, cuts through like glass. What's it like for fans? So from a fan's point of view, obviously we're on the bus, we're going to the stadium for the first day. Obviously we're excited. from a fan's point of view you're leaving you're buzzing as soon as you woke up I guess

55:06Chris Stark: but also from a fan's point of view when you turn up at the next season and you sit down and that the twat that you sat next to the whole year has renewed you go for fuck it you know what I mean the one that you just don't want to be next to but it's like moving house because you think you're going to be there every week you don't want someone to move in behind you and also if you have a good one and now you have a different one and it's like oh, wait a minute, where's Jeff gone? That's what I mean. It is interesting, but that's the interesting first day of the season. From my point of view, is you turn up in your season ticket seats and it's like, who's knocking around?

55:42It's great seeing the same faces again. And it is like, I always think when the season starts up again, it's like the world's healed a little bit. Can't explain it. You get so distracted in the summer.

55:52Chris Stark: How much better is it when the English Football League has started again? Yeah. Everything's been renewed. Do you know what it is? The Pia Crouch podcast is back. The football's back on. Everything's safe. Even, you know, the first couple of games, I know what you're saying about a manager coming in, but I actually think you're a little bit forgiving as a football fan just for the sake of like, you write off, or you can conceivably write off the first one or two as just go, it's just good to have it back. Do you know what I mean? You're not so angry because you're just happy the football's back.

56:22Chris Stark: Don't you think even the first match of the day, like, you know, get it on, bang. We're safe again. Yeah. You know what I mean? Didn't know where I was before. Didn't know what day it was. It's true. It's so true. I know now it's a Saturday night. We're sweet. We've got to chill tomorrow. Yeah. It's all good. When you come back in as a fan at Watford, have you still got the same season ticket now or have you moved? Yeah, I've got the same ones. And is it the immediate people around you? Are they the same? Roughly the same, I think. I've only seen one game so far in the tickets. Yeah. Because first game, Charlton was away.

57:00which I didn't go to yeah I think it's I think it's roughly the same but that's so lovely as well because you break away from them for the summer don't you you don't see them those are the football friends thinking of the Everton fans as well I don't know how it plays with moving stadium like do you can you sit conceivably in a similar or surround or is it a total shake up of the fans I'd actually like to know that yeah and also as a player I've never gone I've never had that of a new stadium like the clubs change stadiums when I've been there have you ever have you ever had that

57:34Chris Stark: Tottenham moved to a new stadium but I only played at Waterloo yeah I've not done because all your fans all your family are going to be in a different area again a whole new experience I suppose yeah for players I think like get your emails in let us know about the start of the season like are you sitting around the same people has someone new moved in that you don't particularly like or do like ended up being best mates with you know there's certain people that would have sat in the same position 20-30 years and just had a football friend and they don't see outside of the football but you speak to at the game how have you been chat to there even grub or a beer like it might be a certain pie where you go I can't wait to tuck into that pie yeah also you know what they drink they sit down they have a bovril and a cheese slice maybe in honour of Maria there as well we can kind of throughout the season go club to club you know if there is a sort of we'll find you know the screamer of Everton of United well what about the fella at Southampton have you seen his dance moves oh have you seen him yeah yeah yeah he's got these by the way he's got number 69 on his shirt as well have you seen him what's he called Big Mick or something 69 you talk about people in the zone he is in the zone there somewhere some of his moves you could put him you could put him there you could pick him up literally put him in Obeach in Ibiza.

59:01Chris Stark: Wouldn't look out of place. What a legend. Do you think we should touch on the fact that what's it called? The boss. The Ibiza boss. Oh, you want to talk about him? Do you think we should get him on? I know like... He's a Geordie, isn't he? He's gone big time now, hasn't he? The Ibiza boss. What are our thoughts? He's a Geordie, isn't he? Yes. He's a Geordie. He is. I mean, he's going to love his football, that's for sure. He's going to be passionate. If you had to guess where he was on the planet just from that picture on the right there what Chris you got any thoughts on the Ibiza boss it's just it's very confusing situation the world's in at the moment I'm all for him like I really hope he goes out and earns an absolute wedge out of all of this stuff I'm sure he will wild how it catches on but I just think you know you have icons growing up don't you and I just it's crazy it's crazy it can come from anywhere now it feels and really the Ibiza boss is no different than what we're talking about here which is you know a character you might find in your local football club taking a video sending it to us us whacking it up on the podcast and suddenly they're you know standing up with whatever DJ in the middle of Pasha and earning absolute quality I think it just shows you that you know you can be just a regular Southampton fan like this guy have a look at the dance moves on he's absolutely having it P Dawson is it yeah P Dawson 69 people not a care in the world but if you look around him right nobody is batting an eyelid he must do this on a regular occurrence look at him look look at him look at him he's just walking by look at him he's like it's like a like faithless so does he do this before every game do you think he must do if that's something that happens before every game that for me is way preferable to the Arsenal song than the North London Forever but put him in the middle of the pitch and let him do that yeah start of every game what a guy he's your equivalent to the guys abroad that are on that little stand with the like the microphone I just love the fact he's just put a cheeky 69 on the back it's happening more and more you said you said there's something into the WhatsApp group saying there's 69s everywhere at the moment everywhere real resurgence I think we should try and venture that one out as well down to not just 69 but screaming fans and even dancing fans down to lower leagues down to non-leagues oh yeah because we're going to hear them even more there so Mate, every club has a character.

1:01:28It's guaranteed. Our job is to find them. And we want them in the very best possible way. You know, this is celebratory. This isn't a piss take. This is celebrating our great nation of ours. Yeah, yeah. The characters that live in our full stadiums.

1:01:40Chris Stark: Get your emails in and send them in to us. There's this fella at my local club and we love him. Yeah. He's the main man. Get him in and we'll, we'll IB for Boston. We're going to go again for another season. Crouchy, the email address is. I still don't know that group. It's peter.croucheracast.com. It's good to be back, isn't it? Boys, I saw this thing. I was watching Sheffield United against Bristol City. There was a free kick taken for Bristol City by Scott Twine. What a free kick as well. Did you see it? Yes. Great free kick. He goes off to celebrate and tries to give it the knee slide, but his knees dig into the ground.

1:02:26and then all the players obviously crowd in but he looked injured from it and I think he got away with it I'm not too sure on the repercussions of it but everyone was speculating in the commentary it was a bit like oh shit he might have injured himself here awful because it was a you know great free kick has that ever happened to either of you and do you think managers or have managers ever had a word with you about calming down celebrations because it's mad to get injured from a celebration

1:02:53Chris Stark: I heard it I remember it was Bobby Robson pulled Lamar Luolua do you remember Luolua used to do the system backflips yeah yeah I think he pulled a hamstring from it did it? yeah yeah it might have been either at Portsmouth under Harry or Newcastle with Bobby Robson he definitely pulled a hamstring from doing his flips yeah I'll tell you one that got injured with a knee slide Patrick Vieira versus Manchester United at Highbury with the ball come to the edge of the box, you went to whip it. Do you remember you whipped it? On the side of the crossbar, Schmeichel was in goal, done the knee slide. I think he pulled his five.

1:03:33The knee slide, I think. And that was a slippery surface, but that one, that twine one, it's bone dry. I've always thought

1:03:39Chris Stark: about the knee slide. Like, I've never been into it. Like, the thought of me doing a knee slide, I never did it in my whole life. Never. I thought of, just the knee bending down on my knees, it's not good. Genuinely. I can't imagine you knee sliding. No, I never need a knee sliding. Never in my life. It doesn't make it, I can't do it. Number one, I'm potentially get cramp. Yeah. Number nine, like my knee doesn't bend really in that way. When I, even if I kneel down, that's a real, I can't do that for more than five seconds. You've got to land those knees. Like it's a bit like landing a plane in that, you know, sometimes the plane lands and there's a bit of a double.

1:04:18Yeah, yeah, yeah. Sometimes it goes down like that and then you get the applause. You need a nice, smooth... Styrian Rui was the king of it. I was literally about to say that. The king of it. Absolute king of it. He would do it and do it with a bit of a handbrake turn. It would kind of slide.

1:04:36Chris Stark: Was it called drifting? Just drifting. Yeah, but he'd never come out of his pose, would he? Yeah. You know, like he'd never... He'd go down and slide, but he'd never come out of his pose. Do you know what I mean? Whereas I think if I did it, it would be horrendous. And my femur is where all my height is. You've never seen a knee to hip ratio in your life like mine. Why does that sound like a Shakira song?

1:05:04Chris Stark: The knee to hip ratio, you've never seen me like it. I reckon that's as long. That's a 32 inside leg. Do you reckon your knee to hip is longer than my leg? I think it's up there. It's up there. It could be. I reckon it's three quarters of your entire leg. Well, yeah, come on then. It's three. It's nothing longer than your leg. You sit down. You sit down. You sit down. If you sit down, because what I'll do is I'll put my leg out. You know that feeling. Too many updates. Too many meetings. Too many things falling through the cracks. Monday.com was built for that gap. The AI work platform designed from the ground up for people and agents to work side by side and deliver more together.

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1:06:07It's like a crap lap dance, isn't it? Honestly, only on this podcast this can happen. Is that longer than my leg? If you think about it, I'm here. My hips

1:06:18Chris Stark: Go back a bit I don't know if I can bend that way Pete It's close isn't it Let me get a bit I'm up here I'm up here It's close It's close It's about that much There we go That's embarrassing for me isn't it There we go I would love I would love Really long femur If there are some archives Of you Even years ago Just doing a bit of a slide there is one game right my first my second season in professional football my entire family so my mum's side of the family was City fans so we played Portsmouth City at Fratton Park and I'll always remember there's a picture of it actually I scored I think it was Nicky Weaver in goal Richard Dunn and last minute the cross has come over and I've ended up heading it but I remember thinking my entire all my dad's mates all their uncles all their mates they're all City fans I've got 15 tickets and they're all out in Portsmouth that night so they're they're on the beers and I think I've just scored the winner right in the last minute I just thought it was one of the goals where I was most buzzing yeah and I've run and I've fucking I've tried to do like a flip what are you thinking oh so we need to get this it's not a flip it's not a flip we need to get this it's a head it's like a roly-poly it's like a little it's like a child's roly-poly and I think I've done a fucking you know I've done a over Femi Martin in your head in my head I thought just over Femi Martin if we can't get this right we need to contact Portsmouth we have found it lads this is incredible so that's Robert Prozonecki by the way of Real Madrid Real Madrid Barcelona fame what a player he put about I think I scored 19 goals 21 goals all in all in this season he must have set up 19 of them honestly he put them on my head from everywhere and I ended up moving to Villa but this I remember very clearly this goal I scored it and I was so buzzing I thought do you know what I'm going to do over Femi Martins Lua Lua Pia Beagri eat your heart out Hugo Sanchez not a problem do the flip so compare this flip to those players I just mentioned there it is oh my god can I sorry we're going to have to replay that reload that quickly can I can I say what really makes it the hands up before.

1:08:47Hands up. I've never seen. I don't know what I'm going to do. I don't know how this is going to come out, but I'm doing it. The hands up before is like, shit, I'm doing it.

1:08:56Chris Stark: Oh. Oh my God, mate. Like a baby giraffe. What the hell? I just found my feet or something. Phenomenal scenes. What a moment though. Honestly, at that time, I'm going to say, I'm going to say like QPR, I just played up to the year at QPR. Then I moved to Portsmouth two of my best times of my life. The robot's iconic. Why, please, if you're playing football this weekend, whatever level, and you score, copy this celebration. What do you even call it? Two hands up and then a roly-poly. It gives all the swagger of someone who thinks that they're about to do an Aston Merigold or something. Benson Boone.

1:09:41Chris Stark: Benson Boone.

1:09:45there he is look do you know what I love I love you you've still got the trademark kiss and the hand still doing the hand and then it's like I've got to carry this on oh god

1:09:57Chris Stark: it's that moment you know that moment you just paused it out there that moment where I've I've gone I'm of that one that I've gone that's it what the fuck am I doing it's happening that two hands in the air I've committed oh god it's happening Pete I've committed there was so much fun you could have with that you could put them little things where this is the moment he knew he fagged out this is the most underrated celebration of all time that no one's talked about that before and that was just that was all off the cuff that was brain and body that was just I'm really excited and I think I remember seeing they're going to be up there now they're going to love this were you with Abbey at this point God no can you imagine your wife what the fuck I remember with the robot she did say to me what the fuck was that yeah it's bad I was with her now she said what were you what was that what was that dance you did right we're going to do a few listener messages here's Crouchy on his holidays

1:10:57Chris Stark: you got some messages there lads we do should we get into a couple of messages okay how about this one this is from Tom who says he's a Watford fan go on Tom regards to you and yours great to have you back after a well earned a few weeks off for the summer. I'd like to share something new I tried out for the first weekend of the new season. I like to think of myself as creative and always look for opportunities to mix things up and try something new. Let me know your thoughts on this. This may already be a thing that's quite popular. I wouldn't say keep up with the latest. I wouldn't say I keep up with the latest trends.

1:11:30I'm calling it the match of the day challenge. Essentially, I decided to turn off all goal notifications, not check for any scores the whole way through Saturday. Instead, waiting until match of the day to see the highlights of the games. This means I was watching the highlights as if they were live and having that excitement of not knowing what was going to happen next.

1:11:51Chris Stark: I love this. Love it. While it was quite tough to avoid the temptation all day Saturday, I didn't actually watch match of the day until Sunday morning as I've got a 14 month old and there is no way I'm staying up until nearly midnight when it finishes. It felt really nostalgic to experience what it used to be like as a kid when updates from the games weren't available in real time or at your fingertips through a smartphone. I thought it was great and we'll definitely carry on doing this throughout the season for the games on a Saturday at least. Keen to get your thoughts on this. Great idea or utter woke nonsense.

1:12:24PS, aware there are some obvious challenges to this. If the game is on TV or you're watching the game live at the stadium, thanks. Now, that's a good point, Tom. Like it would, in theory, I think be a lovely idea to watch match of the day like a virgin.

1:12:41Chris Stark: I think this is an incredible idea. Amazing. But you can't look at your phone. You can't go on WhatsApp, Twitter, Instagram, TV. You'd have to avoid. I think in this day and age, really, really difficult thing to do. You'd have to just go radio silent on all your friends for the whole weekend. yeah but you'd also need to not have mates talk to you about the football at all and respect your decision to to go completely um celibate from from the football you'd have to wear some sort of badge or sticker to say you know uh please respect me yeah having like said that though that you know when they say at the news before match today you know please look away now if you don't want to see the scores or turn this down down and you know there's obviously so many people that do it but like the thought of actually watching and cheering and go yeah like you know as if it's live happening for match of the day what an emotional roller coaster that would be i actually really i really like this i really like this and and you the thing now is you'll you'll you'll get the gist of match of the day where you know the first game is obviously the most entertaining and the last game is normally a ball draw or one nil so you'd know as the games go by you know the entertainment value is probably going to be lessened but i think i'm saying with pete i think it's near enough impossible you'd have to go literally kayaking for the weekend and if i think if you've got what's what's that group of mates like say it was us three we could speak to each other you know i mean on the whatsapp group because if you're all in on it that would be you all have to do it i'd like to give it a go so it's almost like a vow of silence isn't it you're almost acting like a monk yeah but you literally can't look at your phone you can't look at the TV but that's maybe what you my problem is is outside influences or if you're on a night out or wherever you are it's going to be so hard to avoid if you are dressed up as like a monk or a nun as we've done on the podcast before perhaps that is a way of other people understanding you've taken a vow of silence you know like maybe it needs there needs to be like I think it's great if you can do it between mates but it'd be great as well if everyone also respects it outwardly as well.

1:15:02Chris Stark: Fantastic. Although harsh on nuns, isn't it? Because it means no one will ever go talk to them about football.

1:15:11I just thought of that. I just literally sounded on that. Do you know what I mean? You've got to think of our sisters who listen to this podcast. Yeah, of course. Great idea, though, in principle. Lovely idea. and also if you had a little cheeky flutter to watch it oh that would be exciting and also just whilst we're talking about all of this should we give a quick shout out to I thought Chappers did an excellent job with Match of the Day I you know I think it was a really good line up of them obviously it was Chappers it was Rooney and Shearer yeah and I just I thought it was obviously it's great having a football bat I always get excited about Match of the Day coming back and I reckon well I actually text Chappers that night as well because there would have been a lot of people watching that just to see if it's any different and I just thought it was just spot on yep good shout out he's class

1:16:06Chris Stark: you know I actually saw Chappers at the old your global ball summertime ball Chris couldn't believe it mate because I was I was hosting that and I got a little text from Chappers to say to say he was there I thought it was the most unchappers thing imaginable for him to be at the summertime ball I honestly couldn't believe it he was getting right into it he was sitting in front of me who was he enjoying Benson Boone yeah he's a big fan of Benson Boone by the looks of it honestly for the years I've known Chappas I can't I never would have thought I'd see a day who's at the summertime ball I just I'm pretty sure he's jacked there by his doors I'm literally just visualising Chappas there I think he's got a mean like two step I saw he's got on the locker and the clap and now I'll sink a clap he would have loved it I'm sure great guy great guy alright lads last message hello Crouchy from Bahrain BBQC and Ben Watson regards to your families just sat watching Newcastle Villa and noticed that the ref seems to have footless football socks footless football socks with separate socks underneath ridiculous I think this sock situation is getting out of hand.

1:17:27Now, my question to you, is it justified that the players are chopping their kit up to wear grip socks? I played football for many years and never once thought, do you know what? These socks are doing a shit job. Seems like shit woke nonsense and a fashion thing to me. Also, if the grip, if the extra grip is truly required, why not just put some rubber on the actual football sock? look forward to hearing your thoughts cheers lads graham i don't know what's going on out there

1:17:57Chris Stark: have you seen this uh yeah obviously people chopping up socks and stuff like that like i'll be honest with you i used to put a little bit of a cut back in the day on the top of my socks sometimes i used to suffer with cramp in the in the socks it wasn't because i had rippling calves uh i did used to get cramp sometimes um i did a lot of jumping for headers various bits and that and I yeah I don't know I did do it so I understand why people are doing that but I think it's got too far with the big holes in everywhere referees in grip socks that's woke nonsense in my opinion yeah why a referee can't just put a normal sock on I don't think I just don't I just have no idea what that is that feels like a fashion statement to me and this is this is my problem with the game at the moment.

1:18:50Chris Stark: I feel like a lot of it's about how you look. And I think, you know, when I watch penalties these days, right, I'm watching a penalty shootout and everyone's doing a stuttered run-up, everyone. And I'm like, for me, there's no way in the world that that is a better penalty. There are certain players that can do it. I think Ivan Toney was insane. It was amazing. But now everyone seems to be doing it. And some of the penalties are so bad, they can't get any power on them. And I do think it's all for how cool you can look. It's like, look how cool I am. I can start 500 times. It's like, just put it in a fucking onion bag.

1:19:35I've never heard that phrase before, but it's... Put it in a bag. In the onion bag. Yeah, you never heard that. I've never heard that. That's amazing. Put it in the onion bag. You boys must have heard that. That's so good.

1:19:46Chris Stark: yeah like do you know what I mean I know I've ranted a bit there but no but do you think do you think it's a bit chefy of footballers is it like is it just over complicated for over complicated sake or does it make it look like you've got an art to it because even when the keeper stood in the middle of the goal Troy Deeney would wallop it they'd struggle to get it above him or like through him it's and there was no art to that he just put it in the oven the thing is I do get a started run up I get, you know, the little stutter, have a look, place it. But it's got sort of, you know, stutter, stutter, hop, skip, stutter, skip.

1:20:24Chris Stark: And then they get no purchase on it. I think some of them, like, yeah, if you've got the technique and you've honed it and you've practised it, fantastic. Some of the people are just doing it and not being able to get the purchase on it. It's not good. Love it. what a run that is referees and socks we're just to go back to that you're saying there's a bit too much referees are a bit too fashion forward for your liking at the moment yeah all of it's a bit too fashionable at the moment it's evolving in the wrong direction let's tuck some shirts in let's get a black boot on and let's take penalties properly great podcast today guys yeah enjoyed it cheers guys I will be away actually next week as well but you know I think potentially we do have a special guest coming in Chris well potentially yeah just whilst we've been doing this podcast I think example is floating around he's got a few gigs in the UK big friend of the podcast of course big Fulham fan so it'll be interesting to get his take on everything that's going on there and frankly we've been meaning to get him on for a while so yes next podcast potential example in the Chumba one bar love it yeah incredible I've got a lovely story for you next week as well about something that happened to me on holiday involving two ex-England footballers and me getting mugged off.

1:21:51Chris Stark: But we'll stay tuned for next week for that one. What a tease. Back stronger, everyone. Have a good one. See you later, guys.

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