“If I’d gone to Istanbul, none of this happens!” - John Bishop on Liverpool story Hollywood loved

0:00This podcast is part of the Acast Creator Network. hello and welcome to that peter crutch podcast um i'm dubai des and this is uh chris stark yep how are we very good yeah no sidwell here uh and also we're kind of in unfamiliar circumstances here today uh we're in a fancy hotel suite uh just ahead of a chat we're going to do with john bishop today we thought we'd get him on the podcast well he's he's he's a a Hollywood movie is being made or has been made based on his life written by Bradley Cooper. Which sounds pretty random. I mean, to me, that already sounds like an... No offence to John, it sounds like an FA Cup draw.

0:40No. It's like, we're going to do a story about John Bishop written by Bradley Cooper starring dot, dot, dot. It's amazing, isn't it? Anyway, we've wanted to get him on the podcast for a while so this seemed like a good excuse to do it. Annoyingly, Steve Sidwell's on another one of his holidays. No, I mean, yeah. he's on more holidays than me he's taking piss now but that's fine but you're the you're the original Dubai Dez and just on that can you talk about what happened in our WhatsApp group yeah yeah I just put something in this was great it was amazing and obviously I'm going to reveal this but I don't want him to get in any trouble so I just want to put this cleaner in this service is the service I want basically my car went back and I got a message from someone who was picking up the car and he says, this is from the person who's picking up my car.

1:29Obviously, my number's been given over. Dubai Dez. It's so-and-so here from the car team. I'm looking to come collect your car and later this afternoon, I'll confirm an exact ETA when I'm about an hour away but currently looking at 2 to 2.30. Regards to the family and likewise for one ball and balls I since.

1:51Now, I know some of you have been thinking, cool, that's not very professional. I'm going to go the other way and say that is ultra, ultra professionalism. He's tailored the service to my every need. And did I feel that that was too familiar? No, I want more of that in my life. This is what I want from people that are, you know, working with me or, you know, I'm paying them to do a service. Or I enjoyed the personalised message. Well, it's massive from him, isn't it? Because he's got two decisions there. So he knows it's you. So he's either got to kind of do that thing where he pretends to not know it's you and just act completely anonymous.

2:29Quite missionary and boring in reply it could be. Yeah, it's one of those, you know, like you get called Mr Crouch. Yeah, Mr Crouch, but almost written as if he doesn't know who you are. And the reality is he knows who you are. And by the sounds of it, likes the podcast. Or if you're going to go the other way, you go fully the other way, shoot your shot, and it seems to be that he's gone with the latter. Well, he has. and I think because I encouraged it, there's more. So I've obviously done laughing emojis and then, you know, got back to business of, you know, I'll make sure someone's home between those times, basically.

3:05And he's just come back with this. Hi, Phil. I'm just leaving my previous drop now. I'm exactly one hour away. I'm assuming it won't be you are San Marino. and there's going to be there at the house to hand over. So if there's anyone you'd prefer me to contact, just fire over the details, mate. Cheers, buddy. Absolutely massive. So Sam Marino's got to mention. And he's trying to play this really cool as well. The idea that, and if it's not you, I assume it's Sam Marino, just fire me over her number while she's at it as well. Fire me over Sam Marino's number. I absolutely loved it and you know what it just I think it puts a smile on your face you know that could have been a really mundane job that you know it could have been like oh I've got to speak to the guy who's collecting the car you know but instead it's put a smile on my face I think we should have more of that it's great yeah yeah and obviously we'd like to encourage it even more by all means great you know if you have any dealings with Crouchy out and about you know feel free to say that you like the podcast and go for it good week other than that yeah really good mate yeah yeah all pretty relaxed yeah I didn't do any football this weekend so I was pretty I was pretty chilled nice time with the family got to watch my little boy play football and I took them two boys to golf as well which was fun are they playing golf now yeah got them playing yeah oh god hitting it better than me already oh it's worrying isn't it I wish someone had started me on golf early I've got to be honest when I was young when I was sort of five to ten years old I thought it was the most boring sport ever you would just watch it I had no interest in it whatsoever I'm totally with you Chris I had no no interest to the point where I stayed in the Belfry and the Ryder Cup was there and I I didn't and I did not pick up a golf club or go to the Ryder Cup yeah that like they offered me free tickets because the players were moving in to the hotel and I said no thanks and I drove I drove around you know random places in like out just outside Birmingham like I went to Litchfield just just cause yeah and I thought you know I'll have a look around at some places to live and stuff and the ride the fucking rider cup was going on it didn't matter how it changes and that's the thing even if your kids don't like it now you should force it on them you know if you do force golf on them now because they'll come a point in their life it's a bit like the Lion King this it's the whole circle of life you know Simba pick up a seven iron and play you know like you do need to you will enjoy this when you're older and you won't understand until you're slightly older and looking for means to escape sometimes.

5:51My weekend was interesting, so I went to the Watford-Milwell game. Two things about this. Watford have been on good form lately and have fucked it up in the FA Cup. And you know, I went on a big rant on here about how important the FA Cup is, how highly I regard it. Once again, just didn't really commit. Got absolutely thumped by Bristol City. and then it meant going into this league game against Millwall I feel like they kind of took the wind out the sails and all momentum has gone lost 2-0 to Millwall which is so annoying when you're on a kind of promotion push it feels like we could be getting playoffs and all of that just on the Watford thing something really interesting happened in the game though it was a shit game but one of the things that happened was in front of the away end the ball boy accidentally caught the ball on the pitch so the ball was going out I think it was for a Watford throw-in right in front of the Millwall fans and the poor ball boys just put a foot onto the pitch and caught the ball and then obviously the whole Millwall away-in they're on him you know you're getting sacked in the morning no way I felt so bad and it was a Watford ball boy I kind of understand why the Watford ball boy is closer to the pitch than the away fans if I'm being perfectly honest I just thought That poor lad, like, if you were going to make that mistake in front of any team in English football, the away end of any team, you would not choose Mill.

7:22So anyway, the Millwall fans start showing you. They're all like, because the guy's going to... And then it's a really odd one, because I don't think there's any rule around this. The ref doesn't really know what to do. Interesting to know what you would do there. So it's going out. Technically, I think, was going to be a Watford throw-in. I think the Watford captain has then decided to kind of let Millwall have it, but then fair play would be Millwall throw it to the Watford goalkeeper back and then the game kicks off from there, which they didn't do. They just played on. But the poor lad then had to sit down.

7:53All the Millwall fans, you're getting sacked in the morning, but then obviously the Watford fans want to back up the ball boy. So then the whole stand's going, he's one of our own. He's one of our own. Oh my God, the poor lad. It was madness. Do you know what? I think ball boys in general at the moment, and I don't know if you watched the AFCON final the other day. You know, the towel situation was... I couldn't believe what I was seeing. You're throwing the towel on, then he throws it back, bearing in mind the game's still going on, and then they're trying to lick the towel off him. Well, Mendy's in goal, and you're so right.

8:26Because there was so much stuff to talk about with that final. A lot of it's been discussed. But you're so right to shine a light on this. Ball boys are on a madness. So they were trying to, I think, steal Mendy's towel. so the reserve Senegalese goalkeeper had to come and almost guard the towel guard the towel but he's hiding it and they're still trying to get it off him even when the reserve goalkeeper's holding the towel he's being chased by ball boys chased by ball boys he's getting chased by ball boys I mean you know and then the drama of the final I mean the entertainment value was phenomenal I thought for the final I don't know listen it's not ideal they're taking the team off the pitch and then when the play reconvenes he tries a Penenka I mean come on he tries a Penenka and the keeper saves it unbelievable scenes as a Penenka wanker yourself oh I really am but you know what you know in my what it is defence right I think once that all that happens that they take the the whole team off the pitch you know Mane's getting get everyone back on they all get back on I think if ever there's a time to do a Penenka I think no one's going to think apart from Mendy himself who saved it I think the blood's rushing you know the keepers everyone's blood's pumping for me definitely diving and I think it's actually a good time to do it but fair play to the goalkeeper there he saved it and he looks awful but mate it's been 20 minutes where the players have been off the pitch and then you've got the mad situation where the Senegalese fans are trying to get onto the pitch to protest and it's really kicking off to then go and do a penenka of all things.

10:08Balls of steel. Unfortunately, I do think it's balls of steel, but you know, and then obviously the manner of the victory for Senegal as well. And then the press conference, there was drama in there as well. Half of the Moroccan press conference left when the Senegalese manager walks in. There is a kind of balls of steel award that we need to be introducing every week, especially maybe it's the one ball of steel. Yeah, but I think you've got... The ball of steel. you've also got to score the Penenka to win that award unfortunately so shall we offer the ball of steel this week to the ball boy at Watford because taking on the Millwall away end I think deserves huge respect from us huge respect right we're going to chat to John Bishop I believe that you know him a little bit and you've got an amazing story involving him coming to do some stand-up comedy for the England team once it's unbelievable

11:04All right, John, well, thank you for joining us, mate. It's an absolute privilege. It's mad, isn't it? It seems mad, me and you. Because I don't think we've seen each other, really, since the hour of this show. Yeah. I love doing that. It was a great show. I don't know why it didn't. This is the one with Gabby Logan. Me, Gabby, and John, right? And we had some great guests on it. It was called Back of the Net. We had a laugh, didn't we? Yeah. And they went heavy on it first. I think we did something like 20-odd shows. and it was just before Amazon started showing the games. So we thought, well, they'll show the games and carry on.

11:38But, you know, Amazon being Amazon didn't deliver. We were saying, I think it's funny, it's, I guess, a circle of life thing, all this, in that Crouchy was telling me that you've known each other a long time and obviously throughout, you know, we'll get into where you first met and all of that. But when you were just starting out and now you're part of this whole madness, there is a film loosely based on your life and Crouchy's the one interviewing you. Yeah. It's funny how it all plays out. Is this thing on? How does it come about, John? Well, it came about because I met a guy called Chris Tricchier.

12:16You know Chris? Married to Claudia. Chris Tricchier is a film producer, but he's married to Claudia Wilkman, so a lot of people have met him via that or associated with that. But he's a producer of loads of films. and me were in you know Gabe Turner and those lads so we were we were both invited to a film about Usain Bolt documentary that our mates had done about Usain Bolt so we went to that and then afterwards there was like a sort of after party in a nightclub somewhere around here and we were like we had two middle aged blokes sat in the corner of this nightclub thinking what are we doing here and it was because it was all full of cool media types and he just said to me, how did you get into comedy?

13:01So I told him the story about splitting up with my wife, going to do some stand-up and then they're eventually popping in and now it all transpired. And he went, that'd be a great film. And I said, well, I'm trying to make, I'd written a Radio 4 play that was loosely based on it. I said, I'm trying to write, but I just can't, I can't seem to get past, if you're never trying to do anything about your own life, you can't get past your own story. and you keep on thinking, that didn't really happen that way. And they'd be pissed off if I said that. And I said, I just can't get past it. So he said, let's see if we can get someone else to write it or work with your honour.

13:39And we bounced about, never got anywhere. And then he was working with Will Arnett on Riviera, the Sky programme. And we'd been invited to Amsterdam for this hotel opening in Amsterdam. So I was in Amsterdam, Chris was in Amsterdam, and he brought Will Arnett. he said tell will your story so it's all well and he went dude can i write it so i said fine because he works with mark chapel who's who's you know a good english comedy writer and so on a good film writer so they so for a few years we were backwards and forwards with the script we sort of had the development deal it was going and covid happened that slowed everything down and then And then a few years ago when he was making Maestro, Bradley Cooper was flying on a plane with Will.

14:32Bradley Cooper says, what are you working on? He said, we're just trying to finalise this script. We've got searchlights who are going to launch it, who are going to produce it. And he said, can I read it? He read it. Will handed it over to him as a mate, really, to sort of say if you've got any notes on it. And Bradley Cooper came by and said, I love the story. can I direct it so then I get this phone call going Bradley Cooper wants to direct it what do you think which is like you know what I mean it's like you've got a five a side team and someone says Steven Gerrard wants to play and you go alright then you know what I mean and so all of a sudden you just it moves on to another level then a completely another level and all of this you know like we're in the middle of a press junket all of this this becomes then a nice film becomes a Hollywood film and you know Laura Dern gets involved and Andrew Day and Cairn Hines and you've just got an amazing cast a brilliant script and a good story.

15:32And how how true is it to your own life like I'm you know I'm sure there's it's been Hollywood in places but is there is it a true reflection and are you happy with it? No to be honest with you Crouchy that's the thing that the Hollywood bit hasn't really happened it's anything it's been toned down and And we did a screening at the weekend in Liverpool with all of our friends and family came to it. So people who were on that journey with us. So for people who don't know, I split up with my wife, went to a comedy club, didn't want to pay the cover charge, put my name down and ended up getting called out and went on stage.

16:10So I never had an intention to do it. And then I started doing comedy. And then at some point, Melanie comes to a club, finds that I'm there, we end up getting back together. So that was the genesis of the story. You know, everything that happened afterwards, the fact that this has become my job and it's been, that's not in the film. That's not what it's about. It's about these people finding each other again. And the way it's been filmed and the elements of our story that are contained in it are so authentic. When I came away from first watching it, I just went, the three words for it is that it's real.

16:48it's authentic and it's honest and it's you know it's an adult rom-com anyone who's had a relationship will relate to this film but yeah just I don't know where about this sits in that point in your career but give me a couple of minutes just to explain I don't know if I've told you this about when I met you John when I was playing for England it was 2006 I think I was early on in your your career right and you know I didn't know John the John Bishop we see in front of us today and then all of a sudden Gary Neville's organised for us to go out in Manchester and see some comedians this is the England team this is the England team David Becker Wayne Rooney the 2006 England team yeah Ashley Carl John Terry when they were playing because Wembley was getting done wasn't it so they were playing at Old Trafford yeah that was right so we're staying in the Lowry anyway Rio organises a night out he said I've got three comedians to come we'll all go to Circle Nightclub it'll be hired out we'll just watch these comedians anyway there was I don't know if you know the guy who's from Manchester right he's got up and he started hammering Stevie a little bit.

17:50He started giving him a bit of grief about the Liverpool-Manchester thing. So we were like, I'm not going to laugh at Stephen Jones. So unless Stevie laughs not... Well, I was looking at Stevie and he didn't look happy about it. So we've all just gone quiet. And I've got to be honest, he was dying on stage. And then I remember John was up next and he comes out and instead of kind of taking the mic, you put it down and he sat on stage. I'll always remember it. And you just started talking to us. You just like, look, you know, a sort of stuff in there. Let's just have a chat. This is a tough environment for me.

18:25You know, let's all just have a chat. And you just got every, you pulled everyone round. And everyone then started laughing. We all started having a good time. And what had gone on previously had kind of been put to bed. And that's when I first saw you as a, you know, as a comedian, as a stand-up. And I just thought that was, to pull an audience like that around, Was incredible do you remember that? Still not been paid

18:56Said the real cuz the other lads are struggled that was my own cap areas for that I won't be very specific man United support you. Well, I watch you play shit You still get paid So so in the end in the end of the course over there about this years later and he said I said you still are painters and he said look I can pay you not the others I said no yeah I can pay everyone so none of us have ever been paid the type bastards no I tell you what the truth is I'd like to know your side to that ok well the truth is you'd sign up and there was there was me Justin and Trevor with the other comics on and brilliant comics Justin Justin Morales was particularly very good Trevor was sort of host and he was real mate uh it was more of an actor than a comic but but but you know and it was meant and he went on and tried to do the banter with stevie and and and obviously the difficulty what people don't realize is comedies it's it's not about uh it's not about how many people are in the room it's about the atmosphere you create in the room so if you walk onto a stage and there's like 12 people there, that's harder than there being 120, which is harder than there being 12 ,000.

20:13Because if 60 % of 12 ,000 people laugh, 7 ,000 people laugh and everyone else joins in, if 60 % of 12 laugh, you've still got five people going. You know what I mean? So that makes it awkward. And also, you've got to remember, we were all job and comic circuit comedians, and you're walking around, and you've got the England squad, the England squad in front of you. And so obviously that's, you know, these are your heroes, these are people you pay to go and see. So that sort of makes it a little bit more nerve-wracking. Yeah, but also I guess you lads haven't, you've all been told to go along to this really, haven't you?

20:59It's not like you've bought tickets. No, yeah. Exactly, so sometimes when you do a corporate do, someone says, oh, we'll book this comedian because I like him. You turn up, you think, I have these people in this room, don't know who I am, don't like comedy, aren't into it. So there's an element of that, but also you've got to look at what's the demographic of the England squad. Well, they're primarily mad fit men in their 20s. So, you know, saying, oh, what are teenage kids like? They're going to go, I am one. so you've got to look at the demographics of them you've got to look at their world experience because again as a comic you pull on things there's no women in the room they're just lads so there's loads of things that are set against you and also John said he kept on trying to push the physio I was right so Bill Blood the physio he does stand up but he's awful but he just laughs you know like he just laughs so he'll tell a gag but he'll laugh that hard he's in tears it's not a great game but he makes it funny so this but he's one of them so he's in it so we're all outsiders in it and I remember I remember going on and just thinking well I'm nothing to lose here and you know I hadn't been on telly no one knows who I am so I just relaxed into it and that's what I've always found with stand up comedy in fact when I used to do the comedy story I sometimes used to walk on and go right before we start has anyone got any questions and then people would shout stuff out and then that would be my act now if you look on social media everyone's sort of playing that but that's what I used to do because I never it's funny I've played the charity football games and done the soccer aid and played at Anfield and stuff like that that's meant more to me sometimes than doing some of the big gigs because I never thought this was a job I never thought it was going to be that important so it's like anything if you're more relaxed about it it's easier so that gig i remember that gig massively remember it because because it's like a challenge and then i remember going right this is the only way of doing it don't try and win them over just relax and allow them to relax and that's it and then and then they'll come to you and so what i've got and i was clearing out here stuffing me wardrobe recently and i got i got a shirt an english shirt with a ticket on i mean i had no nothing for the lads to sign but i got a piece of A4 piece of paper and I rose on it to Joe, Luke and Daniel your dad was a better player than me the England squad I live all side you showed me that on the show yeah oh mate superb I think that winning over a crowd that's such an interesting I think a lot of people have to go do presentations and stuff like that and it's a tricky position to put yourself in because you want people to like you and you want to impress people and it must be much harder when you're a comedian having to try and make people laugh.

23:59But this idea of just going in and asking questions at the start. Oh, it was good. It was really good. That's actually, I quite like almost the sport of comedy that you're talking about. Yeah, it is. And the techniques that you can do to win over a crowd. And there are techniques. There's all, but like all sports, all comedy, all performance, it's all down to being relaxed. The more relaxed you are, the more confidence you exude the more confident you are the more the person you're playing against is intimidated and also the people playing with you have confidence in you confidence is everything listen John we're a football podcast right and well loosely I was going to say I don't know what we are to be honest you've had a few years I've had a few years but Liverpool right so how do you get into supporting Liverpool I want to get into what Liverpool like back then and Liverpool now like how do you become as big a Liverpool fan?

24:59I think 90 % of people are giving it hard you don't pick it you know I always find it odd when someone says oh I support Chelsea because when I was 11 I decided to what you wasted 11 years not knowing what to do for us it was kind of giving me that support at Liverpool so we supported Liverpool I mean at that time and I think it's still relevant to an extent but definitely at that time families were split in Liverpool it was Liverpool or Everton and like me dad's twin brother is an Everton supporter so that's how split our family is I can't remember his name but me dad's twins are an Everton supporter and that was a gag by the way that was it that was it that's what he was I was just thinking I see that's an old family you don't know your own uncle's name that's how hard this comedy is see I had them in the palm of my hand I'll put them right back to 2007 that's why I never got paid stick your feet wait till I tell Rita about it so yeah yeah so so be done I've got to tell you this because this is funny about that split in Liverpool and er I, so what happened?

26:23Me dad, so we grew up as Liverpool supporters and me, you know, me uncle Freddie and that side of the family were ever the supporters. And then, Kenny was manager of Liverpool and I'd gone to a charity auction with Marina D 'Aglisha's charity. One of the prizes was four seats in the director's box at Anfield for the Derby. Right, so I thought, right, I'm getting this, I'm getting this. So I'm bidding and bidding and bidding. Got it. Phoned I already up. I said, listen, don't ask me what this has cost. But I've got four seats in the director's box at Anfield for the Derby. I said, it's going to be me, you, me dad and me Uncle Freddy.

27:04And I already went, God, that's amazing. He said, of all the things you've been able to do, this new life that you've got. He said, what a dream. I said, I'm going to phone me dad. So I phoned me dad up. I said, dad, don't ask me what it's cost. I said, but I bid in an auction. I've got four seats in the director's box for Liverpool against Everton. So I'm going to take you, me, Art Eddie and my Uncle Freddie. My dad went, I'm not going to match with him. He said, I'm not going to match with him. I said, do you mean you're not going to match with him? He said, no. He said, we made an agreement.

27:37I think it was 1971, Liverpool played Everton at Man City's ground in the semi-final of the League Cup or something. He said, that was the last game we went to together. He said, he was in the Everton end. we were in the Liverpool end he said I came out I saw him he said something to me I said something to him he started fighting started knocking ten bells out of each other and afterwards he agreed never to go to the match together I said dad you're 75 for Christ's sake surely you can go to the game he said no it's Freddie he winds me up I said dad you're 75 for Christ's sake so I ended up convincing him to go to the game so we go to the game and we're in the boardroom you know the old boardroom and I'm having a big round table and we're sat at this table we can't believe ourselves we can't believe ourselves there's me me dad my uncle Freddie Alan Hansen his wife I think it was Ronnie Wheel and his wife and I think it was Ian Rush and his panel we're all sat at this table anyway Liverpool legends like that and we're sat there we're having dinner Sunday dinner Sunday lunch in the late night I'm looking at my dad going not everything has to be a buddy it's okay we're sort of trying out on our best behaviour But Alan, Alan's obviously, at that time, was just finishing a match of the day.

28:53And so, so my dad goes, Alan, what score do you think it will be? And Alan Hansen goes, oh, he said, I think Liverpool will win by at least two goals. And my Uncle Freddie went, oh, fuck off! And my dad said, told you not to bring him. They're like, look at him, you shut up, you're embarrassing. You've been back in the director's box since? I was there on Saturday. yeah we went took Will Arnett because Will Arnett who plays the character based on me in this film amazingly as a Liverpool supporter and Mark Chappell who wrote it as well as a Liverpool supporter so we went yeah it wasn't as much fun this time I've got to be honest yeah that's unusual going to a football match with someone who's playing you in I tell you what when you say it's unusual I bet that's never happened ever who's ever been into sporting events with somebody who actually plays a character based on them in a movie.

29:50Yeah, that's a good shot. I reckon you'll have a film of your life one day. Well, I'd like to think so. That'd be nice. Yeah, Greg Davis could be you. Mackenzie Crook. I'll get Gareth from The Office all the time. I've had it before, yeah. That would work. Yeah, I think, you know, who else? Stephen Merchant? Yeah, Steve. But you know, when you look at it, like you look at your life and we all look at our individual lives, but sometimes when you find yourself in the public eye, and particularly, it's sort of an easier reason why you're in the public eye as a sports person, but then when you develop a career after and you look back, you think, this film's about a moment in my life, but there's been moments in everyone's life where you think, oh my God, just that essence of that story is unique.

30:39I just think you're the ultimate example of, you know how you come up with an idea in a pub or say, oh, we're going to start a podcast, something like that. You've got this one moment in your life that genuinely has become this film, this whole reason that we're here today. I mean, you look back at that moment or that little time in your life, which by the looks of it was kind of as happy as it was sad. And what an amazing thing to come from it all. What does your wife think of it? Well, Melanie was at this, we had a screening in Liverpool on Saturday. So after the match, we had a friends and family screening.

31:15And it was, I think the reality of it hit us more there than it has done in all of these build-ups because people were in that room who lived it. You know what I mean? Bridesmaid from the wedding, best man, mates, all of that stuff. Mick Ferry, who's the comedian who introduced me on that first night, was there with Dave Perkins, who ran the club, the Frog and Bucket. and the film's set in New York and the film's about someone called Alex Novak who splits up with his wife and starts doing stand-up comedy so it doesn't say John Bishop all the way through he's not got my accent he's not saying my jokes but he's living my life there's so many little moments in the film where you go oh my god that was the way it was did you get much of a say on it?

32:06because there's one bit where there's the old chant the little chant Yeah, yeah. Which must have heard it. I was singing it on the way in. No, you know that. So, that wasn't in the script. So what was happening is the film's developed, I'm getting scripts and I'm sending back comments or notes and that wasn't in the script. When we first went to see a version, that wasn't the final version, but it was in the screening room around here before they were doing all the lockdowns in the edit. so what happens they do a screening and then you send notes and you do another one and then they go this is it now this is how the film's going to be so we saw what are those and I saw it in there you know and I'm like so what's that and so I got in touch with Will and what had happened Bradley Cooper we were talking about this yesterday me and Will Arnett Bradley Cooper does these workshops with all the actors before he does films.

33:06And it's all about, you know, things that make you happy, get them settled so that he can start getting in touch with their emotional reference points for what their character's going to go on through the film. And what had happened with that, that's the moment in the film when he's first gone on stage. So he's gone on stage, didn't expect to go on stage, then finds himself in the toilet thinking, oh my God, what just happened? So then he starts singing this, this Liverpool song. He starts singing it. The reason that he's done that is that that's what Will in all these workshops was kept on going back to because Will's a Liverpool supporter.

33:41When he was saying what makes you happy, he was singing that. We conquer the whole of Europe. He's singing that to this film crew in a comedy club in New York who haven't got a clue what he's doing. So when they were in that scene, Bradley had the camera on him and the toilet in this comedy club, by the way, is tiny. He's got the camera on him and he just went singing and he started singing it and they've kept it in the film. So it had nothing to do with me, but one of the best things that happened on Saturday is Jamie Webster, who wrote that song. I got him to meet Will Arnett yesterday in Liverpool at the weekend.

34:16How was that for them both? Oh, mad. Like Jamie Webster sat in a cinema, watching a film, seeing someone singing songs, because for Jamie, a mad passionate Liverpool supporter who became into prominence, singing to the Liverpool fans, Liverpool songs, has now got an incredible career as a singer, songwriter aside. He'll always have this thing that will live forever. Yeah. Yeah, when you see him, I think it was in Madrid when he was playing in the fan park. Oh, he's amazing. I've never, this fan park, there's like, that was incredible, wasn't it? Yeah, yeah, yeah. With the flares and the amount of people there.

34:55Yeah. And just him, because he's a, he's a true, scouts two Liverpool supporters through and through he'd be singing that to six people he'd be singing it to himself he's just all of a sudden come up with something that's given the whole career and I think that's but then it's mad to imagine that even Bradley Cooper must have come away from that going ole ole ole ole ole it sticks in your head yeah it's amazing it does I mean there are some epic songs though aren't there Liverpool songs there are some crackers what do you make of it this year with Varner Slott with the team with what's happened I think it's very, for the start I've got tickets, so my dad goes to every game, I go obviously when I'm not working, so I've been to quite a few games down at my tour finish this year.

35:43It's the pace of it, we've gone too slow. There was a bit at the weekend with Sir Bozai sort of breaking and then he held back and sort of went sideways. I think the pace of it slowed down recently obviously we had to stop getting beaten we've gone there's now 11 unbeaten or whatever it is but it's not that's not what we're about and and i think when you look at the teams that were were you know like sat at the end of the day champions we should be beating the team who's second from boss with the league you know 32 shots is great in a game but it's still there's something missing so i think a little bit of energy i also to be honest with you think there's been a lot of changes, you know, like losing Diaz is a big thing, but also losing Trent.

36:30I think Trent gave Liverpool another option and often unlocked things that we just haven't got. But ultimately, I'll still be there next year. So many will, right? I know. Do you ever involve yourself with the club? Do you ever fire off a message to whoever on the board? Are you friendly? Yeah, you're friendly with anyone. I'm mates with Billy Hogan, the CEO, and a few other people in the board and stuff like that. And I know the people in the club. But I'm a supporter. What's the point? I'm not going to say anything, am I? I'm not going to say to anyone in the club, I'm a comedian. Unless I'm telling them a joke, I've got nothing to contribute.

37:20The other 60 ,000 people in the ground. I think I think you've got to step back and go they're professionals you know what it's like you know when you played you could play a game on Saturday and on Tuesday some fella in a pub is telling you what you did right and did wrong and that's not there's there's a 1 % difference between those people who are elite sportsmen and those people who aren't and that 1 % is is very hard to capture I think that's another thing with Liverpool this year. What happened with Diego Jota, they're young lads at the end of the day, young men in the dressing room. They've lost their mate in incredibly sad circumstances.

38:07And they've been asked to carry on a physical sport where you have to... 1 % difference matters. And I just think we all need to give them a little bit of grace and say, let's just get through this season. and Arnie I think we were spoiled with Jürgen I think for Liverpool supporters we need a more forefront style of play we need more excitement I don't like the tippy tappy trying to get through I think we need a little but I also think it's in there I think it'll come right Who's the other than me obviously who's the best you see in the red shot I can't see Yeah, the rush was alright. You know, like, oh.

38:57It's, I think for me, you know, I had, I was the generation of, you know, loving, well, when I first fell in love with Liverpool, it was, you know, as a younger kid, it was like Phil Boseman and people like that, who I loved. And then you get into that next generation of players, and I always like the work but I like the Terry McDermott's I like the Graeme Sooners and Sammy Lee's but then you see the flair of Kenny and Kenny's always going to be a legend but for me I think Liverpool's best player will always be Steven I think it's so difficult to see past him because he's such a complete player such a complete player and he laughed at your jokes as well yeah he pulled me out on that game but you always talk of Stevie G we talked about this on the podcast of him being almost the test you know if you won him over you were in if you didn't it was the opposite well yeah I mean even in that comedy we've looked round there and like you think about that team there they're all Galacticos they're all top of their game they're all winning trophies getting to Champions League finals winning Premier Leagues FA Cups and everyone's kind of looking I think if Stevie was laughing I think a few people a few others might have laughed do you know and I think that's just the aura he has about him leadership leadership right and I think I say I was fortunate to have played lots of good players but I always say he was by far the best and I think a lot of the England players in that would say but why though I think he had everything yeah I think he had everything he could play right back left back up front centre half and always be the best player on the pitch yeah you could trust him as well that's something I think you don't hear much about him but it's kind of like he was a leader in the sense that you trusted his opinion but also he was very good at fostering that team spirit right where you trust it was a circle of trust with that you never really hear people badmout I think it as you know that's him as a person that's him as a man and you can be a great athlete but not have those attributes and he's got those attributes but from a supporter's point of view you knew you know it was important as important to him as it was to you and obviously being a Liverpool lad you know that had another element to it.

41:18But I think if you take him and say at any stage in Liverpool's history, he'd have got in the team. Yeah. And you couldn't say that with even some of the players. Now the style of football has changed. He was such a complete athlete player. He could play at any time. And as you say, he'd be the best on the pitch. It would have been nice to see him in the Jurgen Klopp team that were dominating. Champions League, finals leagues, it would be, you know, I mean, poor fella was playing with the likes of me and, you know. You did it right, didn't you? You did it right. Were you in Istanbul? No, mate.

41:59Istanbul. Everyone's got a story about Istanbul. Yeah, yeah. Well, Istanbul, I'm sat here partly because of Istanbul. Because what happened is I had the ticket for the final. so I've been doing stand up comedy for four and a half years I had a ticket for the final because I'd been to the games and then and then I was waiting for a pharmaceutical company and it was the American was it American or international I think it was the International Society of Immunosuppression and Transplantation Conference was taking place that sounds loads of fun exactly you try to say that exactly was taking place in Seattle at the same time.

42:43And I was the sales and marketing director for the UK for a drug that stopped people rejecting their organs after the transplant. So my boss said, obviously you're going over to this conference. I said, no, I'm going to the final. He said, well, the final's not paying your mortgage. This is paying your mortgage. This is the biggest conference for us this year. You've got to go. You've got to, the Japanese you're aware for are offline. So in the end, I was on and on. And I thought, I've got three kids. I'm married I just go this is me job stand up's a hobby this is me job so I went to the conference and in the end I couldn't find anywhere to watch the game and the conference was over five days and on the fourth day was the game and I managed to get my flight changed because I could at least get home to England because in Seattle it was going to be on at one o 'clock in the morning no one's showing it at that time so I flew home 20 odd hours it took me to get home got into my house house full of kids because all my mates had gone to match so all their kids and wives had come to our house so I'm sat and the only one interested in the game there's little girls doing cartwheels in front of the telly and I have time I'm thinking best decision I ever made imagine imagine giving all this up to go to that at the end of the game I'm like I'm a bit I've jet lagged I can't sleep I'm walking around the streets at 3 o 'clock in the morning my mates are on the phone to me from the airport in Istanbul with the stuff and I remember and this sounds mad but I remember thinking no one is ever going to tell me when I can and can't go that's so cool and so I went that's it and within two months I'd ended in my notice wow I said I'm going to be a stand up comedian and my boss went what?

44:28I said no I said I want to be a stand up comedian I want to be able to decide what I'm doing oh because some girl was cartwheeling in front of the team exactly imagine just imagine if we'd have got beat I'd have gone you know what this is a good job this and you wouldn't be here now exactly you know you did that stand up comedy for Crouchy and Bex and that generation would you do it ahead of the World Cup for the for the current lot would I do it it depends if they pay me an advance we'll get real the fixer oh mate listen good luck with the great It's just great spending time with you. Great to see you, mate.

45:10Great to see you. And yeah, it's incredible what's happening and good luck with it all. Now, I hope people get to see you. It's a good film. Yeah, and I can say that because I'm not in it. I'm going to be honest.

45:26All right. Just lovely chat with John Bishop there. Really was. You've just come straight back into the room. Straight back, yeah. I really enjoyed that. It's great chatting with you. I really get on well with him. I think he's a lovely fellow. and, you know, good luck to him with the film. Can we just touch on the first one? First, poor Corboys. Saying goodbye. It's all about port. It's all fine. We just turned around and just briefly, myself and Ross both just turned around at the same time. Chris, went for a handshake. It's because you didn't love it. Left it hanging. No. Problem is, we'd already done goodbyes.

46:03You went again, didn't we? No, you just wanted to go again. which was right to do because you two are pally but because I was stood right behind you I've then tried to follow up you basically were heavy petting with him and I've tried to follow him behind with the same sort of energy because it's progressed from a handshake at the start to what I thought was quite pally and he just completely air bleeds I don't think he's but the awkward thing was I caught the eye of both you and Ross here and unfortunately we weren't going to let that lie so that's so that's not ideal at all ideal at all do you know what it's actually when it was actually Rosler brought to my attention um Arthur as well when uh another awkward thing it's a similar scenario when we're in a lovely hotel let's call it Steve Claridge's and um

46:49just reminded me just taking us out of our comfort zone I we're not in a Chumawamba my pits have gone my brads are getting leaky because we're away from home you know I'm in Steve Claridge's I'm finding it difficult and then it just you know he just we brought it back to my attention about Idris Elba. When I walked into Idris Elba and we were all setting up, I walked into the toilet and Ross is having a shit in there. Pre-Idris shit. I mean, it's unbelievable, isn't it? Pre-Idris. We rarely do these sort of, they're called junkies, in case you don't know. I love them. But these happen every major film, every big TV series that comes out, they put all the actors in a hotel and the world's best film and TV interviewers go there and you know everyone's on their best behaviour because you're either in Steve Claridge's or you know any of those hotels and the last time we came Ross is having a shit unbelievable today your pits are leaking unbelievable we're all over the shop it's just I love these these ones because it's so much goes on and we know we shouldn't be here I mean even like even right now if you're watching this on YouTube right we're in we're in a hotel they give you a hotel room to set up in, right?

48:04All the cameras here as if we're about to film some sort of OnlyFans. Oh, yeah. It's very cocky behind the camera. It's very cocky. The lads are all there. They've been setting up the cameras. Sort of furniture pushed to the side a little bit. The lighting as well. It's just unusual being in a hotel room with this camera set up. At least for me, anyway. Yeah, well, it's just not if you're partial. No, I'm not, you know. You don't knock it so you've tried it. I do think we're at home in the Chumbawamba. We are. But every now and then, I think when we go out and about, I mean, for instance, I want to go to Fosse Way, you know, where I delivered my paper around.

48:40And I want to go to where Andrew Cole went to. I want to go to the house that I delivered the newspaper to. Well, I want you to turn up because I doubt that house knows, obviously, unless someone who's listening to the podcasters knows the house. They won't know the house. I could go there and tell you the house. And I was saying we need to get a blue plaque on that house. Certainly. you know and I think that's on our list isn't it yeah great it's on our list so we will get that done at some point but yeah John Bishop what a bloke this new film as well sounds great doesn't it well worth a look good luck to him with it and you know I hope it goes well yeah mad what he was saying about Istanbul though basically if it wasn't for if it wasn't for Istanbul he wouldn't he wouldn't be the comedian that he is now the knock on effect of missing a game or going to a game.

49:32Just a sliding doors moment, isn't it? The butterfly effect. Yeah, it really is. It's mad. I bet you there's some people now that have either missed a game and then end up meeting their wife or whatever it is because of it. Or if they hadn't gone to a game, wouldn't have dot, dot, dot, and goes on from there. There's loads of moments in my career that I always think about, like, what would have happened, you know? I went to QPR, for instance, for 60 grand from Spurs, never played a game, wasn't looking to play a game that season. And three of the forwards get injured, cruise ships. And you're like, well, now I'm, I remember saying it was sink or swim.

50:12And actually, I don't know if I've said this on the podcast, but I remember that was what I said to my mates. I was telling this story about sink or swim and I ended up getting player of the year and I was top goal scorer. And I think I said, it was only between my mates. And it was, you know, it was sink or swim. And I said, I came out doing backstroke.

50:35I'm not that type of person to say that, but it was funny because it was between me and my pals. And I remember when I got player of the year at the end of the season, my mates loved it. Then we had a laugh with it. And they said, when you receive it, you've got to do backstroke, right? And I remember I got it on the pitch and I think I missed the last game of the season. But, you know, I got the suit and tie on and I came on to get the award. And I lifted up because what was so good about Loftus Road back then, like my mates were always there. 10 tickets every game. First goal scorer. And if I got it, then we were out that night.

51:15I mean, the tenner on it, 70 quid for the night, right? For my mate, they were buzzing, right? And I kept getting the first goal. So we had such a good laugh at that time. We were 18 years old, living the dream, local club. It was brilliant. And I remember I got the award and I did. Onto the stage? No, so I'm on the middle of the pitch just doing back, pretending I'm waving the fans, but I'm doing backstroke. And obviously, you know, all the lads are buzzing and we go out again. So this was pre-Robot. This was the original celebration, really. Yeah, yeah. It was a bit of a cello, yeah. But, you know, it was hard.

51:51You should have continued with that, mate. Imagine that every time you scored. Backstroke. Backstroke. Would have been amazing. yeah it was all good fun but then if you'd never done the robot you know think about it we wouldn't have these mics see sliding doors sliding doors alright great should we do this week's predictions and get into the league and all that sort of stuff lots to talk about okay well into our league now I know Sid isn't here but we'll get his thoughts and predictions I think he sent a few voice notes in he has well Well, no one predicted the Manchester derby as expected. I don't think anyone kind of saw that one coming.

52:32The new manager bounce. It's so annoying because we did talk about it on the podcast and, you know, the idea was floated, but then we decided to go sensible. And I don't know, it's kind of one of those annoying ones that when it happened, I thought, fuck, why didn't I do that? It's an annoying one because we did mention it. I just don't know. I mean, can a manager have that big of an influence on the turnaround? Because obviously Fletcher's come in and it didn't quite... No, but don't you think it's better? I think the noise around this one, don't you think it's just thrown the onus on the players here?

53:06And as a player, I think you're forced to step up at that point. Pleased for Michael Carrick, anyway. Yeah. I was really pleased for him. I know him, I've been around him, you know, right from under 18s all the way through, you know, same age. Played against him, played with him. Great guy. And I really wish him well. I hope it goes well for him. It was the way he had to play it cool in the interviews afterwards as well. Not even a little smirk at times, just to try and make out, no, this is it, it's a work in progress. This is it now. Enjoy it by being disciplined sort of thing. Even though you just know inside, he was like, fucking come on.

53:45He must have been, you know, in a way I'm so pleased for them because it does feel if they can maintain that energy, then it makes this Arsenal game that's coming up very, very exciting. A couple of things with Michael Carrick that spring to mind here. When I think there's under 21s, myself, Joe and Michael tried to buy a car from Autotrader. It was a long camp. And yeah, we did it in a... I think I did it in a Geordie accent or a Welsh accent. I was buying a car off this fella. So they wouldn't know who you are? No, just because we found it hilarious. we never got we never got round to buying that car and also Abby met Michael Kerrick's family in a pub and we had a nice dinner together and and I remember they said oh I didn't realise you were Geordie's and then she said oh tune away she's like what obviously it's a way to tune you know she said tune away she's got it completely wrong they all said excuse me what was that do you mean away to tune

54:54so forever since then I actually don't know which way around it is anymore because I've said two and away for so long but anyway back to the games well yeah we ruined our score predictions with that none of us none of us batch united and that's to our fault there yeah and that puts you Chris on 33 I'm on 39 and Sid's is flying with 46 well it was low scoring this week so you got a point in the Leeds Fulham game yeah you got a point as well and you had Chelsea beat Brentford. I think me and Sid had the draw there. So Sid's actually got no points, but you know, and we just kind of broke even. New Chelsea manager.

55:30I know he's a friend of Sid's. I think you know him a bit as well. He's, I don't know. There's a lot of people sort of going into his managerial style. A lot of sort of comparisons with Will from the in-betweeners, that sort of thing. A lot of quotes from him. I think that I've, you know, I've been taken out of context or... If it works, it works. You know, if it works, you've got a good result on the weekend. You know, we've got to give that time. I think he's a good young coach. Everyone around the place that I've spoke to speaks very highly of him. And I think if it works within the dressing room, then that's all that matters.

56:09It doesn't matter about all the outside noise. And I think he will kind of block that out. I think he's that type of character. He obviously believes in himself and good luck to him. I think literally any manager now, it's almost like there's a battle on everything to find memes for every... I mean, there's literally not one manager that that would happen to. Well, you've got to work very hard not to, haven't you? In this day and age of, you know, you say one thing wrong or, you know, that's slightly funny or cringe, mate, it's all over the place, isn't it? Yeah. It's a difficult time to be a manager.

56:45Okay, so look, we need more points. I need to somehow kind of really it's not really about Sid Sid is so far ahead that him not scoring any points doesn't really mean anything me and you he's literally on the beach literally he's literally on the beach you know when he's saying figuratively you know he's got the flip-flops on he actually has I mean he didn't even say last week that he was off this week I mean you can't book a holiday that far away can you so late in the day I think he's Stephen Sidwell he can do what he likes I think he does he does what he likes Steven Siddwell he does what he loves the thing is I wonder if he's going to be away a lot now that we've we've sort of signed him up to doing this what's the Senor Sidd Senor Sidd I can be a Siddwell baby I think should we get his take on Arsenal versus Manchester United yes this part of the podcast is supported by Paddy Powers the big weekend fixture is Arsenal versus Manchester United let me give you some odds right Arsenal are favoured as you'd expect 6-10 a draw being 14-5 a United less fancied at 9-2 even though they've had a big win in the Manchester derby exactly that and strange dynamics what with Arsenal I can't even say Arsenal but it's not really a dip in form but you know a draw well it works and suddenly well you know Villa lost City lost and Arsenal have extended so you have to say it's a great week for them yeah you're right they've extended a point they've extended their lead but then it's the other take on it you know, a draw in that game, does it give any...

58:21Could have been worse. You know, Villa were at home and they've got a fortress at home. Everton, you know, you wouldn't expect really to get points there, although they've got a good record away from home. They were brilliant, Evan. I thought they played really well. Deserved it. Fully deserved it. So we don't know yet if we've got a different Man United and we don't quite know if Arsenal can sort of bounce back from a draw to a win. We'll see. But either way, it makes it exciting. Steve Sidwell is on holiday. Before we get his prediction, shall we just let him check in with us? He's sent us a voice note.

58:52Here we go. Hola, amigos. ¿Qué pasa? ¿Cómo estás? Señor Sid here. Sorry I'm leaving a voice note. As you'll probably know, I am not with you boys in the Chamba Womba today. So I decided to take a few days out. Bit of R &R, bit of golf. Just about to tee off in about 10 minutes. So I'll just leave a quick voice note for my predictions. hold the thought up well lads and I will see you next week so he's about to tee off just about to tee off yeah why not yeah is he 10 points clear it's Monday you know there's a slight suspicion of on a slot last year you know like when they went to Ibiza yeah during the season yeah feels like there's a hint of disrespect there to the rest of the well I think so the rest of the players you know I think in all his priorities you'd think this podcast would be right up there yeah well it just appears you know you take the year after ball for a couple of percent in this league next year you could pay the price for that is what I'm saying we'll say they'll be this year we'll see okay would you like his prediction for Arsenal vs United I'm sort of hesitant to play he's in first because it means he gets to decide but either way here it is right first prediction Arsenal vs United Arsenal at home you've got to fancy them be favourites and strong.

1:00:15But United, a great win against City. I think Arsenal get this done. I'm going to say Arsenal 2-0. Okay, he's gone for Arsenal 2-0. A rare backing of Arsenal from Sid's there. Well, you know, he's had a lot of grief from Arsenal fans considering he started at the club as well. He's not mucking around with his voice notes either, is he? He's banged these out. He wants us off the firm quick. So you're getting paid for this. This is wild. He's in and out. He's teeing off. It's like we got John Bishop today, isn't it?

1:00:56Okay, all right. All right, so he's going 2-0 Arsenal. I mean, to me, that feels like the sensible choice here is just whether, for want of a better phrase, Michael Carrick can maintain this bluey that they're having. Yeah. Yeah, they want a bluey. They are, right? I don't mind. I'm happy to go next. If you want to. Go on then, mate. I am going to go United to carry on. Right? I don't think they're going to win, but I'm going to go with two all. I want to do that. That's what I had in my head as well, mate. You love a Desmond at the moment. I love a Desmond. It's not really working for me. I'm going two all.

1:01:32I think I've thought about one all, but I'm going to go for two, two. All right, nice. So just having a quick look on Instagram. so we've got David O'Sullivan Ronnie's brother Kieran Hunter Milf's sister

1:02:00sorry Ollie Jorgensen is Des booking his next Dubai trip Solly Lipschitz might be pronouncing that wrong sorry well he can't be called Sonny Lipshit he can't oh he is yeah he is Sonny Lipshit let's see what old Lipshit's on the wall

1:02:27when I get pulp common people when I came round to call you didn't know Lipshit's on the wall

1:02:41All right. He's going for a United 2-1 lip shits. I personally think that Desmond is a really good shout. I can really see it happen. Is it Weasel right if I go 1-0? Weasel right? No, I think that's for 75. Or do I go United? Oh, you fancy him to win? That'd be a cat. The odds are against me there. That'd be cat amongst the pigeons, wouldn't it? It wouldn't. Carrick will firmly be at the wheel then, wouldn't it, if he wins that? it's at Arsenal this as well isn't it oh no no no 1-0 ok yeah 1-0 he's going with 1-0 yeah horny draw ok ok ok Chris let's do the Paddy's Boost here right this is where we pick a leg of the Crouch Pod bet builder the odds of that bet builder will then be boosted by 20 % and it will put on a special section of the Paddy Power website and app I don't know how it's going to work because we haven't got scissors with us but maybe I'll do two I'm going to go first The player to score first, Bukayo Saka.

1:03:40Okay, yep. Player to be carded, I'm going to go Casemiro. Two shots on target, Victor Jocherez. Fine. Okay, the odds are correct at Tyrone Corden. Please gamble responsibly. All right, moving it on, Chris. We're going to Bournemouth versus Liverpool. Bournemouth have scored 11 goals in the last five matches. Haven't kept a clean sheet in five. Do you expect there to be goals? Slightly disappointing from Liverpool, I think, against Burnley. Great goal from Burnley's point of view. And well played to Burnley, as we'll have to say. I think they defended really well. Liverpool just don't feel like they're clinical enough.

1:04:17Obviously, they played really well. There's an incredible amount of shots. Loads of attacking players just didn't have the finishing touch. What's going to happen? What does Stephen Sidwell think? Let's have a look. Okay, Bournemouth versus Liverpool. Bournemouth at home. They've shaken a few up this season. Liverpool, I've had a few draws from what I can see. I think Liverpool might just edge this one I think this could be a tough away fixture for Liverpool I'm going to go for Liverpool 1-0 interesting because I'm sort of tempted to go the other way oh really which seems madness doesn't it do you think the cherries I think so yeah and actually looking at the DMs that I can currently get through because Steve's wifi is Steve's struggling with his wifi Really pissing me off right now.

1:05:07But from the few messages that I've managed to sneak through, there's a bit of backing here for a Cherry's win. 2-1, 3-1. Jack Fowler says 3-1 here. Lipschitz has gone 3-1. He's gone 3-1 as well. I don't know if I want to go 3-1. I can't follow Lipschitz but I might I might go 2-1 I'm going to go 2-1 Cherries 2-1 Bournemouth it seems insane alright lovely oh someone's just peaked around the corner I'm going to go I love I love recording away from home so much going on just never know what's going to happen do you that could have been Steve I'm going to go okay I'm going to go the other way. Liverpool to win.

1:06:022-1. I think it'd be tight. I think it'd be nervy. Eketike, winner, last minute. Game. Game on. All right. Cool. Right. I'll tell you what we're going to do because it's been a busy but very good podcast so far. Shall we whip through the next fixture? If we have time, we can get another message or two because we did promise we would do emails this week, Crouchy, and I'm concerned we haven't done any. Yeah, no, we've got to do the messages. I always love the messages. Crystal Palace. I mean, God knows what's going on with the manager. They've lost their captain to Manchester City. Can I just touch on that?

1:06:35I don't think, I think, I understand from a club's perspective, right? They're going to lose him in the summer for nothing. 20 million is not to be sniffed at. You know, in this day, for Mark Gay, it's not what he's worth. He's worth more than that. But, you know, it's 20 million pounds, right? You know, and I think it's the manner of maybe before the game and the manager's kind of fuming about that, losing, he's lost Jose, Elise, Mark Gay. It's difficult for a manager. I understand that, but I do think, you know, that is really where Palace are, aren't they? They are unfortunately, they haven't built on the FA Cup win.

1:07:14They're getting into Europe. They haven't, I think from a manager's perspective, he's thinking, right, we can kick on here and we can become a European team on a regular basis. And unfortunately, the powers above him haven't seen it that way. it's more about staying in the league but then what is the obviously we don't see a lot so we're just second guessing here but but then glasner comes out and says he's going to leave at the end of this season how much of it's his choice as opposed to to what he's been told or what the plan is there and it it's it's a confusing situation because he's kind of put everyone in a bit of a holding pattern there now and as much as it's brave for him to come out and then start saying we've been held back, you know, they feel that the transfer policy's been, they've almost been abandoned, the players and the manager are abandoned.

1:08:05The fact he's already said he's leaving, I don't know, does it just put Palace in a difficult situation? Very much so. Has he added to the kind of uncertainty around the club? Yeah, I mean, if you're, like I said, I think, you say someone like Brendan Johnson that's coming to the football club as well, you know, like, how does he feel? And I think, yeah, the ambition probably hasn't been matched, you know, but, you know, you do have to look at the club as a whole and think, you know what, if you're the owner as well, you do have to balance the books a little bit as well. You can't keep bringing players in, you know, they've got a good structure at the club, bringing players through and buying good players and selling them on.

1:08:48And that's always been the kind of case. I can't tell if it's more noble to have your manager, say, give a lot of notice to say, look, I'm going to leave at the end of the season and almost that's in a way quite endearing that they're kind of, they're being, it feels like they're being honest and transparent about where they're at and what they're doing or if actually, if you really think about it, it's just, it's just putting your club in a whole more difficult situation. What a horrible situation for the fans to be in. They've gone from being, you know, probably the best moment of their career watching Crystal Palace win that FA Cup, going into Europe being so excited and then this all unfolding towards the end of the season losing games we talk about the FA Cup you know we talk about look the various different viewpoints of importance on the FA Cup and we said at the beginning of this episode Watford for me personally it feels like didn't do enough in the third round get dumped out then we're losing our next league game and it feels like a certain amount of momentum that we had is kind of being lost and you look at Palace you know they won the FA Cup they go out to Macclesfield it's great getting them lads on by the way it seems like a big response to that it's just like how the hell Palace have just changed around and anyway is what it is there anyway we haven't touched on a little bit sad to see we haven't touched on Chelsea enough there but we'll go straight into the scores oh shall I get Senor can are our Palace going to dig deep here and do something that no one no one can see you know what I mean it feels like there's a lot of turmoil going on at Palace certainly with the manager can they get a result here okay Senor okay and last prediction Palace versus Chelsea so under new manager Liam Rossini's had a decent start and got some wins under his belt as well so Palace Glasner I mean I don't even know what's going on there at the minute he's come out of that press conference and said he's bit so he will even be in charge I do still fancy Chelsea on this one so I'm going to go for a Chelsea away win at Palace.

1:10:55I want to say 2-1. You just know at this point he's turned around to, I assume, John Terry and the other lads there, that crew, and gone, right, let's go. He's gone, yeah. That's shut there, Mark. Let's go and have a crack, eh? All right then. So, predictions there. Do you want to go? I do. I'm going to go with Josh Bryant here I've just found you in my DMs Josh says what's it pubes long pube one pube regards to your families here are my predictions and he's gone for a couple of draws before and then he's gone 2-0 Chelsea he says on the Liam train he's on the Liam train choo choo I'll go I'll go 2-0 as well that's what I was going to go if I'm honest so 2-0 and 2-1 is gone okay I'll go with 3-1 Chelsea alright there you go

1:12:03okay should we do a couple of messages yeah let's do it we have promised them right afternoon lads Starkey Crouch and Red Red Redhead yeah yeah yeah okay I'm sat listening to your New Year's Eve podcast after listening to every episode from day one love you guys despite not being a great football lover I just enjoy the chat that's nice isn't it yeah we get a few messages like that from people that don't have fucking clue what we're talking about with the football which actually says a lot about us yeah no it's good we're inclusive of all yeah don't have to love football mate I watch Springwatch occasionally and enjoy that and I know nothing about I like Countryfile you know huge fan of Countryfile you know I'm so happy I'll take the one that I listen to sometimes which is mental like genuinely don't know what's going on but i find it the most calming thing have you ever listened to the shipping forecast well there's i know the where they have the bands in liverpool i love the shipping forecast i watch miles kane there mate i urge you like midnight one o 'clock in the morning what the shipping forecast on in bed and you lie in bed and it's it's all the kind of um warnings to all the boats out on sea and then all you do is you sort of you've sort of imagined you're on a little boat somewhere it's so hard to oh no I get that bizarrely I totally get that like I'm just imagining myself when you said that just on a boat it's a really calm sea and just think oh I hope he's avoiding that one

1:13:41I'm going to get you on it I'm going to send you a link to the shipping forecast we'll get your thoughts for next week the other one that I we were going to message Sarah well I'm in a position where I don't have a fucking clue what they're talking about and it's not necessarily that I enjoy it but I'm intrigued by it is you know when you're at the dentist and they're in your mouth and they're going B1 fine C1 yeah like G what's the code yeah like why are you and then I start because I'm really cynical I start working out which is the bad numbers or like because they're talking to their little assistant aren't they matey on the chair and C1 fine D2 ruptured like this sort of thing I'm like shit I've got a ruptured D2 yeah but they never talk in sort of normal anyway we'll get a dentist on at some point you just triggered sorry Sarah but you just triggered something off of me there I used to know someone who was a doctor's assistant yeah so you talk about the dentist assistant I knew someone who was a doctor's assistant and they were quite they were quite open with the local neighbourhood you know like Deborah's got general awards again

1:14:50and I've been previous conversations so if you think your doctor's assistant isn't talking be very aware is all I'm saying there you go anyway Sarah okay she brought up the first date Sarah brought up the first date yeah oh yeah the doling alley first date which has recently cropped up in conversation i had a guy i dated recently please let me know if i was out of order on the below and apologies if this causes offenses to any delicate souls i've been unsuccessfully dating for five years this could well be one of the reasons why i haven't locked in a boy yet but for me if a guy loses uh to me in a game of bowling i will fancy him less totally agree uh it's a reaction out of my control and i must point out that uh It isn't a judgment on his manliness, only how much I fancy him.

1:15:45I feel the same for darts, Paul, and anything, and even going down the range. Thoughts, signing off, bumpers down. Yeah. Totally agree. I mean, for instance, if someone's taking you out on a date and he says, he goes for bumpers up, just fucking walk out of the place. Hold on. It's not acceptable. But if bumpers are down, you mean the bumpers are on? No, bumpers up is bumpers on. So bumpers down would be... Okay, bumpers down means no bumpers. No bumpers. Yeah, fine. No, no, no. It's like I say, again, if a fully grown man puts his fingers in an eight and tries to throw one down there, has to be 10, 10 minimum.

1:16:25Sarah's made an interesting point. It's like, it's not, this is not a thing about manliness or anything like that. It's just what you personally, there's something that you can't quite stomach, you know? Yeah, my sister, I remember I was away with a family once and my sister had a game and she's very good at table tennis, right? But she had a game of table tennis with her husband and she battered him. Did she? And I watched it unfold and as he got up to walk out, you know, he didn't seem too disappointed, he was disappointed, but he didn't seem too disappointed. I went, are you all right with that?

1:17:02Can you? Are you okay with your missus battering you at table tennis?

1:17:09you've got quite a competitive well I just didn't I just thought I was flabbergasted really that for me I don't know unless you're going out with you know the world table tennis champion I don't think it's acceptable to be losing I don't know I think it depends on the circumstance I think a nice couples game of table tennis if you're a few beers in there's barbecue sort of thing sometimes if it's not competitive I don't know if you're on holiday though there's normally other people around isn't there did you ever go on holiday and you'd end up playing table tennis, but there'd be other Dutch kids, French kids, like, like all of that.

1:17:44Or you'd have the campsite football match and it got really fucking lively. Yeah. Like the England lads would line up in their England shirts, you know, and we're all camp. It was like Euro camp or something or Haven. Yeah. And it would get treated really seriously. Those kinds of situations you can't lose, but I don't know, man. Like I think on a date, is it really competitive? I just think Sarah's talking my wavelength here really is. She just says, I don't know what it is. I don't, if I beat him, I'm going to fancy him less. And in my opinion, I would agree with that. If I got beat, I would expect, I would expect to never see her again.

1:18:25I think there is a link between, if you're good at bowling or you're good at these things, it's there's there's like telepathic signs or whatever it is that suggest you're good in bed as well i think if you have a bit of flat you can tell a lot i could tell a lot about you uh and what you'd be like to sleep with i think by getting you to do say three sports i could probably give a quite quite accurate assessment of what you would then be like and I think those three sports could be bowling table tennis probably and then what could the third be? Ice skating as well yeah but yeah I'm very bad at that but like you know I wouldn't expect the man to be better at ice skating I know this is very general I know this is very general but I wouldn't expect that if I went for a date I would expect the lady to be better at ice skating I don't know listen this is just me you know i'm not generalizing you know whereas rollerblading i went there's certain things that they i would i just expect that you know the female's better at and bowling is not one of them i think i feel like if what sarah's saying as good as she is i i would try my bollocks off to to win if if i if i was a couple of down to sarah i would i'd have to make sure that i won unfortunately just very quickly as well i went to that lapland you you know, over the Christmas period, and they've got a little ice skating rink on there.

1:20:02I can't ice skate. I can't either. I just, I've never been able to. There's always one twat that goes round backwards. Like, I'm there holding onto the penguin. I'm so with you on this. There's a Canadian near me, right? You know, and you're like, every year I see him going backwards. He's like, we all know you're Canadian, mate. I think if you're going backwards on an ice skating rink in a public session, you are a balance.

1:20:38And just to clarify here, if you don't think that, everyone else does. So put out your pipe. quite an angry answer to the podcast it feels because it was really quite friendly with the John Bishop stuff it's ended quite aggressive I'm worried you know what I just think it's nice to have a balance alright we'll see you next time this episode is brought to you by a load of pricks.net we are the experts in selling houses Chris couldn't sell his house what did you do Chris? I couldn't sell my house for love nor money Crouchy three different offers I had all at the last minute fell through I turned round to my wife and said, what can we do to sell this house?

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