That Tom Fordyce Episode! - From Memory Lane To The World Cup | EP. 425

0:00Chris Stark: Hello and welcome to That Peter Crouch podcast. It's brought to you by Paddy Power. I'm joined, as always, by Sid and Chris. You okay? I'm alright. I've had a... What was this weekend? This was one of the more powerful weekends that you've... Is this the same golf one from last year that I remember you telling me about? Me and Sid's debut this. So what's allowed to be said about this? It's all good. Oh no, we can go fully in. It's all about board. It's two teams. you've got badgers and you've got foxes Sid is actually a fox I am as you would think and you're a badger and I'm a badger and it's quite a rivalry it's a Ryder Cup affair 40 lads all in Scotland 4 rounds of golf and 4 points on offer for for each player I dream of this stuff what are we talking here jet up no no we were well looked after we played some of the best courses in Scotland, I love in Carnoustie, what was it?

1:00Chris Stark: Dunbarney, Kingsbarns and North Berwick. You sound a bit throaty today as well. We had a conversation at the end and it was... There's the air con on the flight on the way back. And we was... What did we say? We said, basically in four days we've seen four areas and one of them was obviously our hotel room, the bar, the golf course and... The bus. and the bus that was it I didn't see anything else zero nothing about zero that was it we did go out for a meal once for a husky once and then came straight back and what about a prize for the winner I mean it's actually very very like aggressive it's like people want to win this thing like seriously foxes quite often win but this was this was a Badger win and it was a six point lead into the last yes on the last day but it's so funny because the captains are walking around the course like like Luke Donald right Mora give a shout out to Mora yeah obviously I'll skip a flow or Jose Mourinho as he was named more more more how do you like it how do you like it more more more it's annoying when you're not there but genuinely when you're on the bus and you go back to like it's like just like with a black fan football game wasn't it but with lots of beers involved and with golf and I mean I just think you need that in your life it's a little bit of a get away for the boys isn't it so is it a fancy dress sort of thing or is it just a nod to the badge foxes were reds and got a little tail no we got badge it's all badge of clobber black and white in my initiation I got a badge of blazer oh god I don't want to see this I'll wear it in I should have brought it in today.

2:58Chris Stark: Should have worn it. For your initiation? Yeah, so obviously I've been initiated into the Badgers and it was a blazer ceremony. And what did you have to do? Did you sing? No, I was just presented a Badger blazer. It was four sizes too small. Men are great. I fucking love being a badger. He's got a little Badger badge and a PC on the sleeve, stitched in. Nice little stitching on the sleeve. See I saw this comment on the forfeit I've got to say as well thank you for all the comments about the forfeit like you know blown away by by how positive and lovely people are but one of the comments really made me laugh and they they're just written underneath the forfeit on YouTube men are great innit and when I hear your story it's it just works Well that's the thing like I'm coming home I think she's you know she had a slight issue of me not calling maybe as much as she'd liked and Or as much as you would have liked, I'm sure.

3:55Of course.

3:56Chris Stark: I'd love to obviously check in more, but I wasn't able to because there's so much going on. And obviously when I'm explaining to her that, you know, I've got a badger ceremony and... What the fuck are you talking about? Sorry I couldn't speak. Oh, mate. Genuinely saying, I just have no idea what you're talking about. It's just the rules of the badger. You have the ceremony and no fans. I mean, the point I was getting to was one of the finest moments of my life is obviously the win, obviously, with the Badgers stage. But I won Badger's Badger of the Year. So you've heard of players player. Yeah, yeah.

4:38Chris Stark: Badger's Badger. So you were voted by all the other Badgers. Top Badger. Top Badger. I mean, I'm sort of with Abbey now. Have I gone too far? Badger's badger let's update the Wikipedia obviously I'm coming down fast at bay I'm badger's badger yeah well congratulations bearing in mind a big shout out to you as well because we had a match against each other on the third day at Carnoustie second day at Carnoustie which is actually the third hardest course in the world in the world right and he ripped it up did you yeah it was it was scandalous actually it was almost like how it was quite embarrassing at times you know when he's like playing for Bird it was mental played really well BMW Pro-Am next year the podcast needs to make a representation there is no you know please we'll have a look but I'm not there yet but anyway I've got three and three points and then got to the last game and I think that I think so I'm fatigued I'm fatigued well that's okay come on because we've got a fun podcast today just whilst we're talking about families I just want to give a quick regards to your wife Siddy oh yeah I know what's coming I was at an event with Citi last Monday and respective wives were there and they're chatting and they're getting really involved in the conversation and then I've noticed a couple of the other wives around the table have chipped in and they're all talking about this book that they're reading and I just want to make everyone aware of it because I'm very new to understanding what this is about.

6:10Now as I understand it, it's basically fairy porn and it's activating women all over the uk so all over the world all over the world all over the world yeah you know how like you remember when 50 shades came out and it sort of changed the game a little bit sort of b and q were running out of rope and and all of this sort of stuff this book as i understand it anyway and learning from city's wife here um is involves sort of fairies and wolves and um all sorts of make-believe characters we'll have to ask Fordyce when he's in because he'll know something about it. Yeah, 100%. It's called something like A Court A Court and Something Roses.

6:51Yeah. My gosh, mate. It's like I can only thank you and your wife because you start reading this book

6:59Chris Stark: it's like game on. Yeah, it's game on. Is it a game changer? Have a look. We'll have a look. I don't know if I'd like to say this is just something that's but honestly there'll be people listening right now who if if you're either reading it or maybe your partner's reading it will be able to vouch for it it sounds mental do you read it together do you read just a lady read it what do you do I haven't read it but apparently it's men should read it is it racy yes it's very dick racy it's it's outrageous it's addictive I mean like people that again listeners that if they're reading it or their partners reading it it gets to the point where if she's going to make a cup of tea, she will walk and read it while doing a cup of tea or she's making a cake.

7:47It's rocket fuel. Is it really? It's. Yeah. We'll have a look. And we all benefit. We all benefit. Well, everyone's a winner. But Crouch, just to be clear, it's about a magical land and fairies and stuff like that. It makes no sense to us. In many ways, for me, game's gone. I would argue game's back in this instance because fully back. It's about a fiver on Amazon. Honestly, so Sidney and his missus were there. next day I've gone and ordered this thing on Amazon it's turned up a day later, she loves it what's it called? it's called A Court A Court of Thorn and Roses there's a lot of books I think there might be like 12 books or 18 yeah there's a lot I mean I'll tell you what would be fun is you reading little chapters from it it could be a laugh just see what happens to the listeners there's TikToks about it it's massive, it's the new Fifty Shades yeah it's worth it's worth mentioning

8:40Chris Stark: well okay do you know let's we'll dig into that we've got some analysts behind our team of people behind that we'll get them reading a book pass you a couple yeah yeah I know what Gaz is like though yeah that's four weeks oh god's sake they just stuck together and then can I say that I don't know you did you already have keep it in and then what so you're So you're going to treat us to a reading of this next week, maybe? I'd like to treat you to a reading of that. Because some of the listeners, you know, we do have a lot of female listeners as well. You never know, it might just... It's going to tick a box.

9:20This podcast could...

9:22Chris Stark: All right, OK. Moving into a new market, aren't we? Yeah. OK, perfect. Well, anyway, we've got a load of listener mail in. Oscar sent something in. One ball, bonfire pubes from Dubai Dez. As a proud Hovian and a proud founder of the Seagulls, Please never say Hove ever again. Hove is the Robin to Batman. The Ginger to the pubes. Can very much operate without it. It doesn't make it better. Yes. Is it needed? No. Brighton or Brighton Hove album forever. That's the first kind of negative thing I've had. Genuinely, because a lot of people were like, you know, Hove. Hove's a great show. What I'm saying is they weren't tribal with it.

10:04Chris Stark: No. It was like Oscar's taking that one a little bit to heart. We're only offering balance. That's what we're trying to do. You know, there's a lot of lazy journalism where it's just referred to as Brighton. All you're trying to do is stick up for the little one in that. Yes, exactly. And they are flying at the moment as well since you're giving them the hype. Absolutely. Keep it going, honestly. Keep it going. The way brand's working. The way brand. We can't argue with the results. You can't argue with the results. You know what I mean? It feels like everyone we've got behind over the years has gone on to greater things.

10:35Chris Stark: like this listener for instance I mean he's gone to this one and he says you love a holiday so I've got a duty for 11 oh yeah he thinks we'll be all over it you've got Brad Taxfreedle yeah Matty Cashier love it Lewis Drunk nicely done yeah William Sale Bailey's yeah Salibre's Salibre's Salibre's William Salibre's Leighton Shades Steve Sigswell that's a new one Matt that's a good one that's a good one Joe Blarone Billy

11:15Martin

11:16Chris Stark: Martin Love it that's good Scott Skincare Flight York nicely done Junior Hoilet Hoilet Hoilet Hoilet Hoilet yes got me and of course you've got managers jürgen shop i loved he loved city um city you do love a holiday don't you just very quickly before we get into the main bit of the podcast i was um i was at a party more than me this is disgraceful i was at a party i was at a party on saturday yeah and there was a lad there uh called george and he came up to me because he's a big fan of yours big big fan yeah now he was a mascot when he was younger um and he wanted to be your mascot this was at reading but he landed michael dubry okay um which is absolutely fine yeah but he wanted you he's sort of fellow ginger and he wanted me to ask you at the next recording of the podcast is there any way we can recreate this at some point so what i was thinking if you're open to it is we bring him along and we just sort of redo the the mascot walk outside what we do with this there's a little cafe over there, right?

12:27Chris Stark: I think, Sid's and this lad come out from the cafe, walk up the stairs and sit down at the ballpark. You can send him on his way, give him your jacket or something and let him run off. That's good. Just give him a pat on the head. Imagine you give him his jacket and just run off. Off you go. Off you go. Exactly that. Give him his jacket and then he can go back to the train station. Enjoy the game. Enjoy the pod. Do you want to do that? I'll do that. I just wanted to see if you'd be open to the idea. I know it sounds mad but I think for him it would just be sort of correcting a wrong from his youth and I said I'd ask I'm all for that okay great George if you're listening we'll try and make this happen George get in touch yep come and be a mascot for the day mascot for the day we're going Everton Legends now aren't we no we might catch on you know seriously like seriously we start having a mascot every week all three of us walk out with different pod listeners from the little cafe that's it oh my god I reckon people might be keen on that I reckon people been keen for that.

13:26Chris Stark: Yeah. That's a good one. Let's do it. All right, shall we get into Fordyce? Mm-hmm.

13:42Chris Stark: Okay, joining us in the Chumbawamba today is the man, the myth, the legend, Sir Tom Fawskine. Do you know what? Fordyce, sorry. I've seen this place, Chris, so many times on the pod, and then I've walked in, and in my head it was massive, and it was real. To see it like this is a little bit of a shock. You've just shattered the illusion in your first sentence. Yeah, I mean, I almost thought the chairs might not be real, because nothing else seems real. You've got a lovely armchair, by the way, haven't you? Yeah. This one actually was propped up before with like a combination of books. Was it? Yeah, it's been fixed now.

14:17The worst of all, Tom, is when you get like a big dunk or someone like that there. And you can feel it, can't you, on the sofa. You sort of end up sort of moving into either side of it. When you've got a big dunk there or a big sort of defensive player, it gets quite intimidating.

14:31Chris Stark: We had a few issues with Big Duncan and Keown was another one. We had to incorporate the other chair. Knees rubbing. I was going to say, the feet are very close here, Chris, aren't they? So Big Duncan just starts massaging your shin with his foot. Well, he did. He rubbed my knee at one point. You know, I didn't know what to do. I mean, I think the usual with Big Dunk is do what Big Dunk wants. Absolutely. Absolutely. But welcome. I mean, I can't believe it's your first out into the Chumbawamba. It's quite emotional, actually. Yeah. It is very emotional to be back here. Obviously, we caught up during the World Cup.

15:01We caught up in February time, didn't we? Off pod. But this is the first time that I've been sitting next to you holding a mic, Chris, for a long time. Yeah. Special moment. Yeah, I've been sending Crouchy a couple of pictures from the old days. Nice. And it's amazing. You know, on your phone, you can just type in a name and it shows up all the pictures. It's an amazing gallery of snaps. I think it really is. I mean, if we get into it,

15:23Chris Stark: I mean, we talk about the World Cup stuff as well. I mean, what Chris sent me was, it was basically us with tits. Oh, yeah. I've still got that mug. Do you remember that? I've still got that mug. Yeah, so the mug that went up was basically, there was this company that were making mugs with basically footballers, how their boobs would look if they had boobs. football is a tits so before you show Siddy it does feel quite ridiculous this now but if you were to imagine each one of us what if you had a pair of breasts what they would look like what would you imagine if you can match up to what the artist came up with it's outrageous what would Chris's tits be like I can't believe I've been here I've been here for about three minutes we've already descended into the gutter we've got a good football chat straight away brilliant we'll get into all that but this is first I mean job is just show you yeah show Sid see if he'd agree this is basically I've still got that mug at home myself yeah I have they used to send them in but there they are there who's done the best now can you see why I was excited to see Fordyce again everyone who's seen mine Sid says there is no way in the world you would have a set as nice as that that's a great rack it's good isn't it It's great.

16:44People say Steve Sidwell likes. It is, yes. Are you all lopsided? Yeah, mate. Well spotted. Yours are pretty cute.

16:52Chris Stark: They're all right. They're cute. They're cute. Penelty Crouch. It's nice. They're cute. I'll take you. And then there's another picture of us all dressed as nuns. Oh, yes. I've been trying to force that agenda for a while now. We do the odd episode dressed as nuns, but... It just rolled out it was very you, because you were very non-heavy, weren't you? Yeah, I had some non-interest in that, and that episode of the Pod allowed me to explore them. You were the mother superior. We were just two novices, weren't we? There was a certain part of you, it's not too far from me that we went to. I don't know why we were in one of my locals, but it was when we recorded in the back room, don't you remember?

17:36Chris Stark: But then it got to the point where I had a few beers and we had to go to the toilet. That's right. We all obviously barge into the men's taurine dressed as nuns at the urinal. And there was a lad, I knew, who came in and was like, what on earth is going on? There was also practical issues, Chris, weren't there? Because none of us had had to stand in front of a urinal wearing a habit before. And you go to the urinal when you need to use the urinal system and then suddenly you're like, you're in a habit. You know, there are no flies on a habit because they're generally worn by nuns. So there were issues, weren't there?

18:10Yeah, so it's like you are lifting up. But three nuns. Three nuns. You all look really young in them pictures. I've seen them pictures. Yeah. Just go for a show of the OGs that you are. We've been doing it a long time, haven't we? We had our eight-year birthday anniversary.

18:25Chris Stark: Eight years or two. We had 200 episodes. That's amazing. Eight years this week. That's insane. I forgot another milestone. How do we not get this build up a week prior, please? It's always on the week. It's true. or it's gone so hold on you said this week it's the 8 year that is insane because we had no idea did we you didn't know what a podcast was we'd just done your book and the publishers had the idea of doing a podcast to help promote the book you didn't know what a podcast was we had met maybe the night before we had a night out in Alty Market didn't we and then we gathered at the Mir Hotel which is where a lot of footballers stay we like the Mir yeah nice golf course very good and we were in a massive room that was way too big for a podcast, so we had to try and squeeze into a corner.

19:13And there was a woman from publicity, the BBC, who had some slightly quirky ideas, Chris, didn't she, for how we should publicise the podcast. We had about 40 minutes with Peter at this point. They were being very strict on it. So they had me and Tom basically ready to go for a quick photo with a big man, which would end up, I was told it was just a one-off thing, but then ended up being just a picture for the best part of three years. And we were dressed as the Funhouse twins. like a red and blue little number in walks pete and then i i it was it is mad i do remember that time i remember the aura when you came into the room crouchy and uh i remember we did that little podcast i was told it was just a little you know they'll see if they like it and next thing we know it was it was beginning and it was it was it was going so big so quickly it just it did didn't it

20:06Chris Stark: I mean, it really took off. It was a mad time in my life and I suppose yours as well. I mean, what were your favourite moments across it? I think it was those ones. There was the episodes where we just felt like it was the three of us sitting around talking nonsense, where you'd go into a pub and then you'd order a drink and then the person next to you would go, love that story about boom, boom, boom. Yeah. And then you thought, hang on, this is more than just the three of us sitting around. Crouchfest was ludicrous wasn't it the point where Liam Gallagher walks into this tiny dressing room and he was full on Liam like he wasn't just like behind the scenes of Liam he had a massive vodka tonic like a sort of quadruple vodka tonic didn't he and the point where we walk on the stage the crowd don't know that Liam's coming out and then they spot him in the wings and he comes on the noise then and also those weird little things we've talked about this before Pete where on stage at Crouchfest Do you remember we had those inflatable balls behind the sofa?

21:06And we started booting them off into the stage like we were Rod Stewart or something. And I started knocking some crosses over for Crouchy on the far side of the stage. Obviously, I'm not professional football. My delivery was poor. And I sent one miles behind you, and Pete just adjusted his body in a flash of an eye, swiveled and hit this beautiful side volley. I remember thinking, fucking... Oh, yeah, he's a footballer. That is trademarked. Play for England, yeah. Play for England. See I don't I remember on that night One of my favourite things was George who was sort of Producing the whole thing At the time Going into my ear And saying just fill Like we've had to Cancel the net Just fill And it was like But it was a good 15 20 minutes Of filling And we just got you To go to the front With a card machine Oh yeah And it was basically If the crowd could guess Yeah Sid was there Yeah I was in the crowd Yeah we were in that one I was watching that one Yeah because we met Backstage didn't we Afterwards Yeah I remember producer George Saying mate because the idea was that if the crowd could guess Crouchy's pin number, you would buy a drink for everyone.

22:06Chris Stark: For everyone in the stadium. Which was a risk. It was a risk. It was a risk. It was a massive risk. But then Abby started getting involved and I thought she was going to tell people what it was. And then George went mad, didn't he? He was like, this cannot happen. That's the most serious I ever heard him in our voice. This, do not put that number in the card machine. Do not do it. We were like, well, it's fun though, isn't it? yeah i think the overall memory for me and i don't know if this is the same for you chris was just we were in absolute shambles you know we didn't know what we were doing you didn't know what podcast was um the live stuff when we did the rehearsal for cratch fest was a calamity you know when we were trying to go through the script we couldn't remember what we were doing nothing worked and we thought this is gonna i was a nervous wreck it was an absolute shambles you know with I was there and I remember thinking, that was shit.

23:00Chris Stark: What we just did there when we went through the rehearsal. I went, that was terrible. And then it just all came together at the time. And we had that point, Sid, and you were there so you saw it. Do you remember backstage where we had a moment which for me summed up the madness of the pod, which is you had Liam Gallagher, one of the greatest front men in rock and roll history, standing next to Piss Off Carl. with their arms around each other. And there was no other way, no other way in the world that could have happened. That whole Carl scenario still lives on. It's like Carl with a K. I get it all the time.

23:38Chris Stark: Hi, my name's Carl. And then they go, with a K. That's the thing. Even if the podcast ended tomorrow, I do think we've all, it's the same with your nicknames as well. It's like there's these little things I feel we've inputted into the world of football or like the general culture around this podcast. It is cool. What were your favourite sort of nicknames for yourself, Tom? There's only one, isn't there, really, which is a strong nickname. Well, we gave you a bit with the cycling stuff as well. Are you still cycling? Still cycling. Yeah, got back into it actually this summer. The weather's been ideal for cycling, Chris.

24:13As in the full cleats? Full cleats, the Lycra. I think if you're going to do it, you've got to commit to it properly, haven't you? The cycling is still going on. I think the other thing thinking about the memories from the early days of the pod there was something else that happened at Crouch Fest where I think I was trying to explain something to the crowd we had a game based on something we talked about on the pod and I was doing this slightly convoluted explanation and as I'm explaining what we're doing I got this massive wave of recognition back from the 2 ,000 people and I thought oh yeah they know

24:45Chris Stark: they know they know what's happening yeah because you don't realise do you I suppose when you sit in this little room how many people kind of goes out to. What about you, Sid? So you know when you go around the place now, like, there must be people shouting things. I saw a couple were on a recent golf trip. Any good ones? Well, apart from bonfire, fire pubes. The biggest one for me was when putting this massive. That was a great one. And people were shouting out, oh, I'll be in the odd restaurant and then getting served and sort of the other waiter all the way to just go and put it in the massive just dropping that one in but actually the moment and I think he's going to be staying strong for a long time is regards to your family yeah regards to your family is big that's really really cool on that one there was a real turn around that one time we had to slightly change the narrative between behind what was being shouted yeah and actually it has been quite respectful you know since since I saw you last week I've obviously lost a bollock as well yeah that was a pretty major thing but we did we spoke you're right we went and had a couple of drinks not too long ago didn't we dougsy as well yeah and yes you met my mate dougsy yeah it's true i think you might have met him before but i guess what what would be interesting as well is kind of what what you've been up to i know there's a new joe marler book which i saw your name on there is a new joe marler book yeah which is out this week actually yeah joe's that you well you know joe you know joe you'll get to meet you've met joe i've met joe oh yeah of course you did yeah when he was late that time very late yeah um so what have i been up to yeah doing a lot of books uh so we've got a book with joe coming out i did a book with boris becker last year which is oh there's a story christ when we retire after this pod and i may have a beverage i'll tell you the story the story we probably need to set aside for 25 minutes or so for that story is it worth 25 minutes of your time is it in the book it couldn't it couldn't be in the book it couldn't be in the book wow it should be guys the eyes and it should be it's a multi-layered story so a book with boris um book with joe obviously did a podcast with joe for a long time podcast with garry and so it's been it's been a nice time but do you know what it's been quite strange in some ways because time has flown by since i was in the pod so i was i was checking out the last episode i did on the way on the train down here it's 2021 well that seems impossible that it's been five years five years wow and this part you know it's it's such a big thing and watching what you boys have done with it it's been fantastic keeping on it watching the adventures you've been having watching all the guests watching all the all the japes and you just feel this or i just feel like this sense of pride that you know i was part of the pod at what you boys have done it's really hard to keep things successful over well this is the ninth year and it's it's still amazing people still love it don't they people still love it yeah they do i think we all love it don't we that's the thing that sort of it's not really a job sort of pretend to the missus off to work yeah but ultimately we'll get to catch up have drinks and obviously we flew back like late last night 11 o 'clock and everyone's talking oh what are you up to tomorrow and stuff and he's like work yeah we're all going yeah quite at work again aren't we yeah not really is it so it's probably the world cup they have a nice time out there obviously guide for you not to be out there Chris you know do you know I would have loved it it's so hard because it would be my dream come true to go to a World Cup and some of the stuff, I think going and seeing there, being in the England camp, I think no other podcast was there.

28:22I think that was extraordinary, really, seeing you get your Legends cap. All of it from afar was amazing and it was a kind of intriguing World Cup and doing the games at very unsociable hours was kind of an odd one. But my God, I would have loved it. It looked fun, Tom. We missed you. we did miss you because you know you're talking about work there it was one of those things where i'd get back and people go what was it like and i had to say initially i would try and pretend that it was hard because you feel like you have to oh yeah i've been away at work and then i was like well we were sitting around in the sunshine talking about football and we when we weren't sitting around in the foot in the sunshine talking about football we were playing paddle or we were going to a number of excellent bars playing a number of extraordinary games and none of it felt like work.

29:08So we missed you out there, Chris. Did you get much cycling in, Tom? Do you know what? On the final day, I did manage to get a cheeky little ride in. There's some bikes at the hotel, went for a little ride, sent the boys a video. Are you never fancy it?

29:22Chris Stark: No, not for me. I just said, let me know when you're back. Not for me. Do you know what, Chris? I don't know if you've played paddle. Every sort of man between the age of 20 and 60 in the country Yeah, I'm into it. So it would have been great to have you out there for the paddle. Not least so I wasn't alone as the only non-former, non-professional sports person because the competitiveness, the quality of those morning paddle games. I mean, that game against Casper, the one that went down to the final volley at the net. Proper games. We were getting up early. It was nice, actually. Casper Schmeichel was around.

29:58Chris Stark: Rio Verna turned up, didn't he? Robbie Keane. Robbie Keane pulled his calf. He did. He was a basketball player at one stage playing with us, didn't he? Yes. What position sort of is the better paddle player, would you say? Does it favour a goalkeeper? I feel like Kasper really improved his game over the course of the... That suggests he was a bit shit. No, no, he was good. Strong backhand. I think he got very, very good by the end. He's ruthless as well. There's a point where he targeted my face. Yeah, I remember that. He did. Player's player, badger's badger, that sort of thing. Badger's badger.

30:32Chris Stark: essentially that's good because we were Casper was very much involved in our group wasn't he so it was nice to yeah nice to have him really good lad alright Tom we've got you here weekends football do you want to talk about the weekends football action lots going on Chelsea losing mental game at the Etihad with Man City Sunderland take on it well the train I've just got down from the north west of England there's quite a few Sunderland fans on the train because obviously they would have stayed over in Manchester last night and you've never seen a load of a fan so happy to have conceded five goals.

31:05It looks absolutely delighted. They're all talking about Brian Bobby. I think it was one of those games, wasn't it, where sometimes you look at a 5-3 and you think that's chaos. Sometimes you look at a 5-3 and you think it's got to be a thriller. And this one was somewhere in between the two. Because suddenly we're never out of it. This new city are really interesting, aren't they? Because they've got some elements of the Guardiola City, but they're much more open. They haven't fully clicked. a bit chaos what do we think a couple of big chances missed there as well that you'd probably expect them to go I predicted before the season started didn't I I think one of my was it like quirky predictions wasn't it what's going to happen this season and I said there's going to be like an 8-1 or a 9-2 5-3 is not far from it but I think we're going to be seeing a lot more of this so why is that Sid I don't know I just think he's more open now for this season for some reason I just think he's a bit more like well it's been a bit clinical I think players are just mentally changing as well I don't know why I think there's definitely going to be more entertainment this season than any other season I also think teams like Sunderland

32:08Chris Stark: as well they go to the SCI have a go I remember going there with Stoke and it was disgusting you just know where you could break us down you still got battered didn't you we were absolutely battered but Mum Jouf ran up the other end of the pitch and we scored and then we went back to being disgusting and it was like right we nicked a 1-0 but But, you know, I think now Sunder go there, he's scored three goals there. You know, there's more emphasis on the attack and I think less care, really, and sometimes pride in defending. I'm not saying that from Sunderland's perspective because they're defensively good at times.

32:45Chris Stark: Obviously, I just think there's less, like, kind of emphasis on defending now. Do you think? Yeah. Yeah. And also, I don't think where a few years ago you could kind of sort of put your hat on a certain result I don't think you can now people are saying now about when Man United go to Brentford or Brighton or you know whoever it is even Sunderland you know you can't bank on going oh yeah that's three points now like everyone's sort of at a range where anyone can be anyway it's just kind of slowly turning into the championship kind of thing isn't it well yeah especially when you put that alongside the Arsenal result from the weekend you know it suddenly suddenly looks very interesting If you look at Brighton and Brentford as well and you think of, you know, Manchester United, Chelsea losing their, the top four, you know, maybe Spurs back then, Liverpool.

33:37Chris Stark: Is there a potential for a team like that to even go in the Champions League? I think so. I mean, you've got to consider that. Well, I just think they're not what they were, the elite teams. No. So you'd probably say, I think probably all of us would say that Arsenal and City are guaranteed Champions League places quite apart from anything quite apart from the title but when you look at the teams that might otherwise fill those spaces if you look at Liverpool if you look at well Spurs are nowhere near if you look at United there's flaws in all those teams Chelsea are a work in progress under Alonso so there is absolutely an opportunity for someone might be Brighton might be Brentford could be either of those teams someone to get into the top four no question at all and it's exciting it feels like this you know sort of wind in the sails with Brighton that actually could see them get through and you can't you can't be a big name big brand my apologies thank you for correcting me Hove well done Hove but Hove are flying why not why not we discussed we just discussed Hove then for ages without realising just shows you how institutionalised who would you of all the teams if you could have a season ticket for any of the Premier League clubs let's assume you're in neutral okay which one would you go for so you've got to factor in here entertainment you've got to factor in all those things of watching that team the excitement around that team at this point in the season who would you go for I'd go Sunderland probably would you yeah I went to watch Chelsea the other day yeah and it was that was a great game yeah that would be mine Chelsea only because they'll ship goals and they'll score a load of goals.

35:25They've got that new hospitality bit up there as well. What's the brand? It's only about the hospitality bit. We will have a look at that. We will. I want to get your thoughts on the Sunderland striker as well. What a guy. Broby. I mean, what a name. What a character. Loved him for ages. What a striker. Am I right in this? As you'll know, is it first hat-trick scored in like 19 years or something? where you're on the losing team. Incredible. It'll be something like that.

35:57Chris Stark: I saw Matt Letizia come up and say, welcome to the club. Is there anything about it? I bet he hasn't done it twice though. Do you know, when you saw Bobby leaving the pitch with the match ball, he stuck it under his jersey to give the pregnancy look. That's a practical thing because you can still shake hands with people. Is there anything about scoring a hat trick in defeat though where you don't really feel that you can walk off for the match ball giving it the big one? it's almost like you've got to pop it up I want to keep it but we've been well then you Mike Dina get it in the back you could actually Mike Dina Mike Dina pure Bance Haaland was Haaland was walking around the pitch being called a shit brobby as well that was the crowd I think he quite enjoyed it there was one game in particular this weekend which felt like Premier League throwback felt like we were back in 1995 when you look at that fixture.

36:54And it was quite nice to me, the Forrest Coventry one.

36:57Chris Stark: Oh, nice. Yeah, Forrest Coventry. So you're thinking of like... Steve Stone. Steve Stone, maybe even Teddy Sheringham up front. Yeah. Against Craig Bellamy. Marcus Hall. Marcus Hall. Yeah. David Burrows. David Burrows. Give us a few more names here. Forrest. Forrest. Ian Wohan. Brian Roy. Oh, yeah. Yes. Is he ready? Yeah. Colin Cooper. Colin Cooper. Gary McAllister for Coventry. Scott Gemmell. Oh, there we go. This is like one of the guys. This is like being back in the States, is it? This is like being back in Los Angeles at three in the morning in a bar. Yeah, but it wasn't them. It was the new breed, fair play.

37:40Chris Stark: I mean, Forrest were booed off at home. Not ideal for them. Glasner's a funny one for me there because with all respect to Forrest, who are obviously a proper club, got a lot of mates with Forrest fans. When you look at what Glasner did at Palace, Chris, I really felt like he had quite a wide range of options. And Forrest are a massive club, great support, but you look at their owner and the rate he gets through managers, it's not really a secure job. Were you slightly surprised he's gone for Forrest? I kind of feel like you're sort of accepting you've got to bend the knee from the start with him.

38:15Because we've all seen how he reacts on the pitch. God knows what it's like, you know, off it. But he must know what he's signing up to there. And I assume he's been incentivised in other ways. True. Very true. Very true indeed.

38:31Chris Stark: Spurs, Stogled. Again, disappointing start for Spurs. Bottom of the league? Yeah. Three or two down as well, they were. Yeah, they were, yeah. But this phrase, it will come good, it's been used quite a lot now. When does it become panic? I keep saying a few of my powers the other day. I'm not concerned. They'll click. They'll click. when there's not been much clicking so far is this the week it's it it really is turning on a sort of Spurs and United front really is that where it really could be I mean if you think about the draw at Fulham for instance for Man United I know it's not great but considering where United are in the world I think last year that would have been an okay result not all but like it felt like the fallout from it was like bad you know this is terrible I mean, Gary never called it the worst 15 minutes he's ever seen.

39:23Chris Stark: That's a big shout, isn't it? I mean, they are managed by the Spanish Ryland, aren't they? At the moment, full of... The Spanish Ryland? Have I not heard this? He does, doesn't he? Do you know, we were watching this at home. There was a couple of people like, he looks good, this fella, doesn't he? I played with him. Of course you did. What was he like as a character then? He's quite quiet, actually. yeah it was never a shouter or he got on really well with the Spanish lads but he you had a real Spanish group didn't you yeah a real Spanish collection of players well as someone who's played for Fulham like you look at what Fulham did under Marco Silva they're another one of the overachievers really I mean that in a good way they're one of the overachievers in the Prem when they've gone for Arbeloa bearing in mind his track record what happened at Madrid were you like is this a good fit?

40:17Are we going on the name here? Are we going on his actual coaching credentials? I mean, they have recruited well in terms of previous coaches. You'd like to think they would have learned lessons from before. They've slowly become a really established Premier League team. They always want to improve on that. I was worried for them before the season. I didn't think they was like, as in relegation, like down there, I thought they would always be sort of above it, but it's not been a good start for them. Great result, good performance against Liverpool away from home. They showed world character. They followed it up, I think, the week after.

40:53They got their first win. And then, I mean, a point against United at home is decent, but I think the Fulham fans aren't overly impressed at the minute from what I'm hearing. I haven't been down there yet. I haven't watched them, but I'm not sure.

41:05Chris Stark: Yeah, marring time for Manchester United as well. Yeah. Shall we get into some predictions? Yeah.

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42:36Chris Stark: Right, the next part of the podcast is supported by Paddy Power. We've got our Football League. And in our Football League, Tom, I've been having a bit of a torrid so far. But this week I didn't. You were very pleased with yourself. I'm very pleased with myself. I got a correct score, which was Newcastle Hull, 2-1. I got four points. Chris, you got two and Sid's got none. I've just leapfrogged Sid's. As we talked about the Crufts, potential Crufts forfeit. That would end up being a slightly mid-season forfeit. This is the idea that's kind of been floated. Very good cross-nomish. I think we might have even floated this idea when you were involved, Tom.

43:15It was, you know, the full Crufts experience, dressing up as a dog and being led around. Claire Balding, looking on. You know, proper commentators.

43:24Chris Stark: We potentially suggested that we would lead Sidds out on his run. But it might be funny if his missus does it. why have you mentioned my name well I'll just say because you're bottom of the moment oh okay or me I I actually really don't want to come bottom of this I know I know I know no one does but after we're quite fresh after your forfeit and it actually and it's only going to get worse and I'm thinking I do not want to be bottom of this no it's not even about winning it's not even about being top it's it's being second that's why it's the greatest league in the world it's it's all stick no carrot it's the only league in the world where finishing second, you're happier than being top.

44:09Chris Stark: Because you've just got away with it. Before we get into the predictions, lads, obviously the Why the Football Not campaign, Paddy Power's campaign, I wanted to talk about Brighton fans, oh, sorry, my God, how dare I? Take your privilege, please. Yeah, I'm so, so sorry. Hove fans chanting, are you Tottenham in disguise at Arsenal good shout great shout why the football not yeah it's where would you put that what category it's not childish it's it's Housery it's Housery it's your classic Housery isn't it yeah classic Housery it is I feel this whole why the football not thing is really working quite well for this beginning part of the season anyway we've had all the the different chants now it's all rival I mean this is this is kind of what TikTok and Instagram is now it's just different fan bases doing stuff for each other I suggested some more last week yes not yet caught on I think we were slightly ahead on other people on this front as well we had a quarter ahead of the curve I've yet to see the whole stand do you know you're getting sucked by the toffees that's nice no we've not done that turned by the potters there's also there's other chance I was at Wednesday Stockport game the weekend the referee had a you know difficult game and people were accusing him of being someone who pleasures himself.

45:33I know, it's the classic. And I was thinking... Pleasures himself. I was thinking this is the most hypocritical, Chris, of all chance because almost everybody in that stadium who is accusing this referee of doing that thing has done that thing themselves. It's a bit like accusing the referee of breathing. Good point, actually, yeah. That's such a valid point. Who can hold their hand up in a particular fist gesture and not say they haven't done the thing that they're accusing us of. Let's not get into it.

46:01Chris Stark: Sure there's a few of us who've never done that.

46:06Chris Stark: Just with regards to Mauled by the Tigers, you know. Is that what you were going to say? No, yeah, no. We went on a golf trip recently. It was Badgers versus Foxes. And the, well, I suppose the boss, really, of the lads that they work for, he's a whole fan. and because he's a fox the song is he's getting he's getting mowed by the badgers we were doing it we were doing it on the weekend on the golf course these idiots are at the back of the bus you look back because the tiger the fox you see at the front and the badger at the back it's called the badger arms and you look back while they're singing and they're all doing this it's a nice morning gesture actually but I didn't have badger could mowed which I only did on the weekend.

46:58I actually like, out of all of them, the popped by the cherries one is actually good because it's quite football related. Because you know when the LA's come out, you know, especially if you're at Bournemouth, getting popped by the cherries, popping the ball around. Yeah, I know. It's nice city, but you want to see a crowd of people doing it. You know, you're seeing a lot of just sort of solo videos of people doing this. I want to see whole stands embracing it. Is it, what's it like at home? Do we know? Is it, I assume more people are embracing this thing now. Oh, it's really cool. You'd want that.

47:28If you've got a ticket for the match day there, you want to do that at some point, don't you?

47:32Chris Stark: I think so, yeah. It's kind of part of the experience now. Three quarters of the stadium now doing it. At the away end. You've got a double, interesting, you've got a double-handed mauling. Yours was a single-handed. No, it's only because I was holding my hand. Oh, I see. You've got to do it properly, Tom. It's a... You have to. That's like a tiger on an exercise bike. Yeah. But you have to extend it though, don't you? That's the maul, isn't it? That's where a pouring becomes a maul, the reach. Click this up. Meemness. Meemness. Why the football not? Why the football not? England, Spain. England, well, eight to five.

48:14Chris Stark: Spain just edge it at six to four. I mean, they are world champions. You would expect that. I don't know where you see it. I mean, you haven't got to make a decision on this, Tom. well can I borrow Tom can he can he play for me I think on this one you can because the internationals is I'm joining yeah but the internationals is you know we don't know who's going to pull out who's going to be arrested who's going to be travelling for Spain it's a bit of a lottery well it always has been isn't it when have we actually now it's a total lottery this it's a silly season yeah do you remember we've said about this before it's like you know if you ever go through a toll and then there's just no road markings and everyone just goes on a fucking free throw.

48:55Oh, that's what he called. Wacky races. Wacky races. That's the international break, which, by the way, is three weeks. Three weeks international break. It's a doubler, isn't it? Yeah. And it's exactly the right face. It's exactly the right face. It's the point where on a Saturday morning you've forgotten it's the international break and you get up all excited because it's Saturday and you're waiting for the early game and then you realise and it's... Yeah, it's just that little... Get back into Maidenhead a bit. We'll do non-league. Non-league, yeah. Should we go down the non-league? can we finally do the periscope thing at Maidenet?

49:25Yeah. That'd be nice. We'll have a look at that. Because the rules are weird there, you know, with the booze, you're allowed to booze on the sides, but you have to do it behind a fence. It's that sort of situation. Hence the periscope. Actually, I think you can booze there now. I think they got relegated again, didn't they? 11%. Yeah.

49:42Chris Stark: Okay, England-Spain. Yes, I'm going to this game. I'm taking my boys to it, which I'm very excited about. In some sort of work capacity? No, no, just purely for pleasure, yeah. Is that the legend's cap? You just doff that on the entrance and you get straight in? Yeah, it gets me straight in. We're a plus two. We're a plus two.

50:06Chris Stark: Oh, yeah. Kind regards to your families. I don't know what we're going to go with. I'm going to go with... I'll go in. I'll go England 2-1. England 2-1. I think we'll just edge it I think with us being at home big game for Thomas Tuchel yeah it's not the ideal game you'd want after the World Cup it's really not so it's a weird one because you know the odds are obviously favouring Spain here yeah however as you say England at home the Holy Dwarves Paul Palmer potentially not playing just before we recorded this I saw that minor injury there you can list Tom Fawless as your assistant today so what would you like what do you fancy my feelings here Chris I don't like going against England I know I know, I know.

50:50Well, let me be the excuse to go against England because Spain are world champions, European champions. They are a superior technical team to England at this point. Why USP? We can hear you. No, I like this vibe. Confirmation that you can concur. He thinks that builder working on the water is an England fan. I like this vibe. It gives a kind of Rocky and Mickey situation.

51:15My journey's here are 2-1 Spain. 2-1 Spain, all right. All right. to where what? Yeah, go on then. Two on Spain. I'll be honest with you. It's probably the right choice. I'm a proud Englishman

51:25Chris Stark: who was about to do that himself. I'm going to go for the draw then. Cow amongst the pigeons, 2-2. A 2-2, good game then. We do have Portugal against Wales next. Slightly disappointed, weren't they, Portugal? I mean, is Ronaldo still playing? Is this happening? He's done, isn't he? He's done. I think so. Did he announce his retirement? Are we not ahead of the curve here? It's all changed, isn't it? Because Martinez has gone. Right. Did you see the free kick? Have you seen this Ronaldo's in defence, right? And he calls one of the players off the wall. I assume this is from last weekend. I just saw it before we came in.

52:11He calls one in his two-man wall. He brings one of the players back and then whoever's taking the free kick just puts it in round the side. and Ronaldo's just stood there like this. It's kind of like that's a mad situation at that club where he's kind of taken charge of everything. I don't know how Ange is sort of dealing with that situation. Oh, he's in the squad.

52:32Chris Stark: I didn't think he'd retired. He's nuts. He's in the squad for this World Cup. I don't know. Craig Bellamy still at Wales, isn't he? He's done a very good job. A really, really good job. Still personally don't think that they can get anything from this game. No, no. I'm going to go for 3-1 Portugal You're going goals, goals, goals I'm going to go 2-0 Portugal See I was tempted by 2-0 or something like that Tom I think Portugal winning this one Chris it depends whether we go 1-0 or whether we go all in with it Okay Higher Yeah And it's international so 1-0 it could end up being quite that way It could end up a bit disappointing Why are they whispering to each other?

53:11It's conspicuous It feels like they're on a game show Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, we've gone on.

53:19Chris Stark: We're going to go 1-0. Family fortunes. They've gone for 1-0. Moves us nicely into Italy, Belgium. Good game. Feels like a good game, but is it a good game? That's what I'm saying. Now I'm Bruce Forza.

53:38Chris Stark: Which is interesting, because we potentially might have a quiz at the end. I don't know. what do you want to go for guys what do you think Chris my gut here Italy obviously a big miss in the World Cup Belgium went further than most people thought they would but are still ageing this feels to me very much like a draw Chris horny draw I reckon 1-0 yeah lovely horny draw I'm going to go for a Italy win I'm going to go for 2-1 are you Sid is astonished I am astonished are you yeah they've got to bounce back Chumba Wumba no not qualified for the World Cup again. It has to be absolute. This is their game.

54:15Chris Stark: It's back. In front of their own fans. Italy are the Spurs of the national... They are them. I can't know. Spurs off. I could get backlash on that. What? The Azzurri and Spurs off. Do you want to piss around with the Italians, Sid? This is outrageous. Well. Let's get off this. 1-0 Belgium. 1-0 Belgium. Let's get off it. Okay, please remember the odds are correct at the time of recording. Please gamble responsibly.

54:56Chris Stark: Well, Tom, you know, this Chumbawamba is not just our Chumbawamba, it's your Chumbawamba. You are welcome any time you want down here. We all created the Chumbawamba, didn't we? Nice. it's always open for you you know that thank you Pete and it's a delight to see you it's been lovely to be back we obviously hooked up in the summer we hooked up in February to sit here in the Chamba Wamba pints on the go with you three is an absolute joy yeah I'm sure it won't be long till we do it again yeah please send regards to your family very much so

55:34hi pod fans Max Russian here from the chart topping Guardian Football Weekly Podcast Don't like to crow If you enjoyed the World Cup with us you'll be glad to know we're back for the new Premier League season Expect three episodes a week questionable predictions and the biggest stories in soccer from the Premier League to the Champions League and beyond Watch now on YouTube or listen wherever you get your podcasts