“The Game Is GONE” - We Need To Talk About Modern Football

0:00Chris Stark: Hello and welcome to that Peter Crouch podcast with me Peter Crouch, Notorious S.I.D. and Chris Stark with me. Great to have the band back together again. A rare treat for the listeners. A rare treat for the listeners. The folk team. Can I just say, welcome back Steve. When I miss one, alright, you lot are on me and you guys as well, alright? But it's alright for everyone else to have a day off and just miss an episode. You're never here. Where have you been? you're like pitbull Mr. Worldwide one day Miami Dubai last week wasn't it cracking time I will say the way he lives it's Stephen Sidwell it's unbelievable the way he lives Steve sitting there Steve Townswell Steve lives well all sorts I was in Dubai for four days I was in Dubai for four days celebrating business or pleasure no anniversaries 20 years anniversary that's amazing that is absolutely amazing 20 years 20 years hell of a career hell of a career yeah it was it was a good trip proposed again to the to my wife you did what so what are you going to do then so obviously the renewing proposed again that's really romantic lovely gesture are you going to do a ceremony again yeah we're going to renew we was going to renew the vows anyway so the wedding vows so is this like a contract re-negotiation is it sort of similar vibe yeah you have one locked in but you just want better terms exactly that yeah exactly that I'd like to agree my terms again and he gets that left that stage where he's like I think we're renegotiating this you've done it you've renewed you've renewed the house I've did renew the house but I didn't have a good agent at the time oh right okay

1:41Chris Stark: I've done my own terms I'm not happy with them so yeah we're gonna we was gonna do it this year but because we're doing the house move and stuff we was gonna do it we're doing it next year but I just made it official so I've done the whole ceremony I went down on my knee in the restaurant So are you, is your current state of marriage, are you unmarried now to be able to remarry again? Do you see what I mean? Like you've, you've reproposed, which to me feels like you've gone backwards to the, you're now engaged. Just keep her on her toes. That's what I think it is. That's what it is, what it is.

2:11It's fascinating that. Is that, does everyone do this? It's a bit of a new thing, you know, I did it.

2:16Chris Stark: And I remember a lot, a lot of my mates and friends, like, cause it was a lovely thing. We did, after 10 years married, we went to the Maldives and we kind of got married again, but it's just friends and family really quiet nice one then loads of my mates were like you fucked us yeah I've had exactly the same you've had the same thing yeah mate I've had voice notes straight away because I've done a little thing on Instagram and people were messaging me saying you fucking prick yeah like literally like that and I was like I haven't even I've been with my missus for 10 years and I haven't even got married once and you're getting married twice in that same time yeah same wife yeah it's uh yeah you can't help being an old romantic though Sid's you know what I mean like I'm the same you know it's just how we are it's in our makeup well so is the is she gonna be like in a wedding dress we're not gonna do a whole new ceremony but no like it's gonna be a ceremony we just need someone to maybe um with us yeah mate well I've done it before I know I've done it before you've done it before you've been a priest yeah friend of mine yeah been a Jason before I can't imagine that did you do it seriously yeah I actually did you know everyone thought I was going to be messing around but I thought do you know what because I think they had quite they did a like a ceremony before but then they wanted one at home and it was apparently the vicar was a bit it wasn't good it wasn't he wasn't great like they yeah so I thought I'm going to do this properly so I kind of read into it and thought yeah I'm going to do this and it went down well did you have a little collar on no I didn't do the collar no I just had my suit which I arrived in but yeah it was a bit of a surprise but I think it went well I think it went well Priest Crouch you might have another go at it I don't know can I come yeah oh great of course I just don't know what to imagine with this whole thing maybe this is more common than neither do we so it's great though it's huge for a party are you going to do this every 10 years do you reckon no 20 years that's it done just the two so yeah that's it done and then great well congratulations we keep on our toes in the next 10 years.

4:24Chris Stark: Do you know what's nice about my one, I thought, was the kids were involved. You know, like so previously, it was all just obviously, you know, all of us, adults and family. But yeah, the kids got to see it and they were all bridesmaids and page boys. It was quite a nice thing. What did make me laugh was one of the comments on Instagram, as you can imagine. And it was actually tagged in. Everyone here was tagged in it and totally parched.

4:56which actually made us me and the wife both have a chuckle so yeah this is great so just talk us through the proposal very quickly if you will because this feels like I feel like we're okay magazine now we've got the scoop Sidwell's second wedding so basically long story short when I proposed originally I'd done it at home we'd done it at home I didn't want to do a big thing. I went all into that. Were you doing it to get out of an argument or something like that? No. I know somebody did that. Yeah, no, no, no. It was at home. I had the ring. I'd just come back from pre-season. I had the ring next to the bed.

5:35I made a card. And then I didn't sort of do the traditional down on one knee, that sort of stuff. So this night on our actual anniversary, I called the restaurant and just said, at the end of the meal, can you do a like a when we have desserts just saying that will say will you marry me so i was like yeah we can do that so we get to this restaurant and it's at the atlantis and really nice restaurant and i get there she hasn't got a clue and everyone's in on it all the waiters are like but everyone's like behind us like everyone like everyone just waiting to waiting basically for this meal to finish and this dessert to come out and it was so funny and uh yeah so the dessert come out and got placed and I went down on my knee and just give a little speech and yeah she was it wasn't all like will you marry me again he was like yes and yeah that was it that was all good did the whole place yeah there was a little kind of little tiny little ripple and yeah it was good a few drinks after great it was nice well done mate you are romantic aren't you you are romantic

6:38Chris Stark: well I should love a party so great that's what we're here for yeah nice Chris I noticed you're wearing trousers yeah so what's happened well I've got another injury yeah you've got another injury so I don't know if you you weren't here Sid's last week but Hal Robson-Karno on it brilliant but it came in a Suarez Benzema kind of no way thing and obviously we asked what happened and was it was it a five year old high five yeah high five to five year old I didn't hear this yeah yes a little stronger than I expected yeah this is what you do in the like up you know where you go give us a five yeah at the side down below when he went to the side it he proper belted me enough to put me in the sort of hospital down the road here no way to go get checked out nothing major I'll tell you what though had a turmeric shot was back good again wrist all fine back stronger unbelievable so maybe there's something in it and yeah today's injury I'm having to wear trousers so I over committed on I'm getting into paddle now I'm really trying to give it some but over committed and I've got quite an old school you know like when you slide tackle It's a brass burn, isn't it?

7:44Routine they have. Yeah, I've had a few of those in my time. Routine. It feels weird having that as an adult, you know? So I've decided to cover it up with the trousers. Yeah, yeah. Just for the viewers, don't get offended. Yeah, fair enough. So you've been busy. But lastly, you've been busy as well. Yeah. Golf competition. Yeah, I was going to raise that. I'm glad you did. Golf competition. I think we need that video to go, because there is a video going around lifting the trophy. And we need that to go viral after your last one.

8:12Chris Stark: See, I was debating about putting up myself, but I thought I better not. But yeah, after my viral shot, which, you know, well, it's up to about 10.5 million people laughing at me now. Yeah, what this podcast symbolises, what this podcast is all about is being back stronger, getting knocked down and getting back up again. Exactly what I did. And I won my golf club's member member competition. Yeah, you put it into the WhatsApp group, this picture, and you look very happy. I was extremely happy. Very happy. it's a great trophy it's one of the best days of my life since I'll be honest with you but it's well out there because I bounced back I showed my character yeah it's massive because you're right you were publicly they laughed at you they laughed people laughed at me yeah but who's laughing now exactly when I picked up that trophy I rubbed it and everyone's faces I said yeah do you know I saw something quite cool I was at Harleyford Golf Club don't know if either of you have played there no you just reminded me of it and they've got a spot right by the entrance there and it says reserved for Tyrell Hatton and I thought that's that's cool isn't it he's got his own car park spot right by the doors to the golf club and you assume no one else can park there it's reserved for Tyrell Hatton only but that's a nice touch you should get one of them I agree I think for the trophy I agree I mean there's a lot of competitions up there to be fair they only give away too many parking spaces but for me that was one of the most prestigious I would say but what about if we ask the listeners so even if it's not a car park space at say the golf club you maybe you've got a space that you can give to crouch at your place of work or outside your house or whatever it is if you've got a little reserve for peter crouch to celebrate his momentous win on this golf day like yes and you'll have little spots all over we can start a little that's better than having one at the golf club yeah like if i could just get one at various places that I visit you know just near enough it's like my mate my mate's a fireman and he's got in central London and he's got obviously Matt they've got all the fire engines in there he said if you ever sort for parking yeah he'll open the big fire engine and I'll just drive in is that real?

10:22Chris Stark: yeah that's all my life yeah this is great drive in there I give him a bell I say Julesy open up sign the big thing I go flying in there there's fucking car parking everywhere it's everywhere because you've got to get all the fire brigades cars in there plus all the engines it's like better than NCP how good is that? central London but this is what you can have I'll stay in there and go to lunch but this is what you can have you can have a little list be all over the UK people listening right now if you can get a space for Crouchy and you can imagine that you'll be able to park you'll always be near somewhere that you can park.

11:02That's massive, man.

11:02Chris Stark: Amazing, yeah. That's massive. That'd be great, that. All right, we'll just get in touch. Let us know if you've got car parking space. Maybe we'll get a little map and we can just put little pins in it, you know, so Crouchy can see where he can park. I love it. Yeah, just get like an app, you know, like when you go to the open McDonald's, like where's the nearest Mackey's? Where's the nearest Crouchy's parking spot? Okay, so this is nice. I'm in Bolton. So if you're a listener to this podcast, are you saying, are you saying, no, is the parking space just for you? or do we open up and say anyone listening you almost we start our own NCP if you will there'll always be a space what's that stupid car club there they take up all the room you know in London they've got like a car club spot I've never understood that there's like bikes and then there's like a car park spot for people that are part of this membership or something it's like that basically but no other podcast is doing that I'm just thinking now it might be if you giving away my address like that but I'd happily have one space on my drive for listeners to this podcast I wouldn't say I can get more than one in there but if it's free I'd happily let someone come park on my drive if they listen to the podcast I agree as long as they're not locking me in well yeah it's one of those if you want to be part of it great create a community of parking we'll be the new NCP that's massive that is big NCP NCP NCP this is this is great only this podcast can do this he's got legs full of his up the benefits of having a space designated for a podcast listener so let us know if you've got a space that you know could put a little reserve for Peter Crouch there preferably with a picture of the actual space yeah good idea that would be fantastic

12:50Chris Stark: alright today's podcast lads we're getting into some interesting topics really I want to call this podcast The Game's Gone because quite often we say that we don't know why it's gone let's dig down into why the game has officially gone running the risk of being grumpy old bastards yeah exactly this wouldn't have happened in my day that kind of thing and like it's not saying there's always problems with our game and there's always something that we grumble about at some stage these are the things I think that we we're grumbling with at the moment is there anything that pisses you off Sid about today's game Well, top of the list would have to be VAR.

13:30Yeah. Wouldn't it? That's what it would have to be, like, in terms of, like, the main one. Because it's changed the game.

13:38Chris Stark: Does it piss you off? Do you not think there's an element of it enriching our game? Do you think there is part of it that's good? I think no. I think there's elements that, obviously, there's good. You know, that's been seen before, where factual incidences have been chalked off or reversed and made it count. But the one that just gets me is the time, sometimes the time on it. And also it's just made it a bit clinical in terms of football celebrations. You know, euphoria, when the ball hits the back of the net, whether you're playing or whether you're in the staff on the side or more importantly, when you're a fan.

14:19To celebrate that and then it go to the big screen and then wait and then you like to celebrate again. It's just...

14:29Chris Stark: I know what you mean. It's taken away from that special moment, which is what football's all about. Like that moment of losing yourself, forgetting where you are, forgetting who you are, forgetting all your worries. That, yeah. But it's like you have to kind of come back to reality straight away. Has it been cleared? Yeah. And then lose yourself and kind of losing that moment. Would you have liked to have played with it or not if you'd be playing i'd say no i get this and i get why it's here right because football now is a business okay and the difference between finishing every single position in the premier league is millions qualifying for europe relegation like there's so much now riding on every game um so yeah it is necessary right but i still i'm still the old romantic and i still believe that over the course of the year it balances itself out but you know like when you're in the pub after a game and it's like you should never have that goal that was miles offside or that was a foul and all them sort of excuses that fans talk about in the rubbish chat really after games that's gone that's gone now isn't it?

15:40Chris Stark: But the only thing is that I think there are still mistakes, this is the problem with it if it was in and it was the automated system like Hawkeye before, you know, when you look at the ball in tennis and it goes out or it's in and you know. Exactly. Yeah, so my issue is that there are still mistakes. We've got a human refereeing, so you can't have VAR whilst humans are involved. Exactly. It's something that in the future will be great because it will be able to do the whole game. But the second you have a human at any point in this chain, it doesn't work. but goal line technology is amazing. That should be it, in my opinion, because you can definitely, like you're saying, it's in or it's out.

16:27But yeah, quite a serious one to top your list. Is that really top of your list for... Well, I mean, in terms of the modern day, that is, like in seriousness, the other thing, the big ick that I've got is camera phones. Go on. Players with camera phones instead of... Players. Players, sorry, yeah. so what are you talking about on the pitch on the pitch so for instance when you see it more often than not in cup finals so was it Palace that won the FA Cup final listen amazing accolade to do first time in the club's history enjoy the moment I'm seeing players on the pitch after with their phones and just take it all in you know

17:10Chris Stark: I might just be an old dare no I did I did wonder I think I saw Mateta walking up the stairs with a selfie stick. There you go. And I thought, there you go. There was an element of me for what on earth is going on here. It was like, is it Disneyland? Exactly that. Exactly that. I was like, yeah, I did feel, I think there should be people like social media team around them. A hundred percent. Capturing everything for them. I get it. Yeah. But not players. Yeah. I don't know. You probably shouldn't be thinking about, but I think nowadays people think something's amazing. This will be great on my Instagram.

17:45Chris Stark: Like that's how people think now. I don't think people are thinking, this is amazing. Let me revel in this. Do you know what I mean? And that is where the game's gone. That is where, well, that's where I think society's gone. Very true. Here's a bigger picture. No, because, you know, if you're watching, for me, gigs is the biggest one. People are watching gigs. I thought you meant Ryan Giggs. No, no, There's footage out there that I can look at that after. Oh, 100%. And the ones that get me at gigs is when it's an iPad. Have you seen the iPad ones that come along? Two hands. They're holding up two hands.

18:21Two hands. Two hands on an iPad.

18:23Chris Stark: At a gig. But I don't understand why you do that. I understand like if you're in it. Yeah. I get that. That's the same as me. Like I go to the Great Wall of China and I'll take a picture of the Great Wall of China. There's better pictures out there than my one. Yeah. Do you know what I mean? I can buy it. Yeah. So why have I taken a picture of the Great Wall of China when I can go and get a professional photographer's one? It's true. But if you put me in it, there's me at the Great Wall of China that makes sense to me I've seen people with you actually take a picture of you so that's so they could google that so this is my problem right people ask me and I have to stand there and I don't know what face to call and they take a picture of me right and I go this is the weirdest one ever and I say do you not want to be in it and they say no no I just want one of you I don't look great I'm like I swear to you there's you can go on the internet and get a better picture of me than that one you've just taken you just literally I can get you one in two seconds and it's better than that one oh god from now on that's it that's another thing we're doing on the podcast this is great if you do meet Crouchy or Sid see him on the note don't get a photo with them just take one of them ask them to stand there once you take a photo of them it's the most uncomfortable it is hold on before this fucking goes out of there in the world can we just say you do have to ask I don't want you people just take snaps everywhere I go like if you say to me I do I get the gag if you say to me hi Peter can I have a photo can I have a photo of you just say pardon me this is great this is going to be like kiss the ring I can feel it This is bad.

20:11Chris Stark: Oh, it's when I'm out with the family and all that. I could just stand there a minute. Like a passport photo.

20:21Chris Stark: But there are people out there. There are people out there that genuinely do that. And I'm like, it is a strange one. I'm like, surely, like I say, if you are anywhere in the world, you take a picture of that without putting someone in it, that is the most ridiculous photo I've ever heard. Seriously. Even a waterfall, whatever. You go like, what's a beautiful waterfall? but put you in the waterfall doesn't it make sense you know where that happens as well just going off track is the boxing how many times do you watch the boxing and obviously they're fighting in the ring and then the people behind they've all got their phones out they're literally just doing that on their phones and that's why I first see the iPad someone doing a bit of an iPad it's sort of strange when you see a two-hander like that the reason why I think the game's gone here is the thing is you can get photos of you in front of a waterfall all that kind of thing.

21:11But AI is going to change everything because if I want a picture of me in front of a waterfall, I can just type that into chat, whatever it is, and it will make the picture.

21:21Chris Stark: So you're saying, you know, should we believe that you're in front of a waterfall? This is what I mean. So the pictures will become irrelevant. So I'm thinking AI will make it, like no one will believe any picture anyway. So maybe they'll start, oh, it's got a bang on time. There it is. Bang on time. Beautiful. Just talk through it now. I love this ice cream on top. So what I'm saying is, I think the photos at gigs and stuff like that will stop because the value of a photo is going to completely go. So what about this, right? I think that what will happen is that there'll be a little AI, there has to be, you know, like when you do something like on social media and you have to say it's an advert or not.

22:05Chris Stark: Do you know, like you have to put a little AI sticker in the bottom right? Do you know what I mean? and it says this has been AI generated. I think it should be a legal requirement. Mate, a girl on my team ran a picture of me through a TikTok filter, which gives you a girlfriend, basically. Hold on a minute. It gives you a girlfriend? It gives you a girlfriend. So what it does is like, so it's just a picture of you and it animates it. So you come to life and then a girl comes out of nowhere, puts her arm around you, gives you a little kiss on the cheek and the video looked... What a video. The thing is, this can get you in all sorts of trouble, can't it?

22:43Yeah, but it also get you out

22:44Chris Stark: of a lot of trouble as well. That's true. Fake. AI again, isn't it? That looks just like you, the partner. Someone's done at first, just like you, you've got your arm around the living. Fucking AI. Actually, Sid, what I'll do is I can run you through the fake girlfriend filter if you want. I don't really understand what you're talking about. So you're saying that he's going to bit this, someone's going to lean in and kiss him and he's going to react to that. All you need to do is put up a picture now. One picture. And a girl will appear. So you're going to run it through the app now, yeah? I'm going to run it.

23:15Yeah, look. So I can, I'll just take a quick picture of you. Here you go. Take a quick picture of you. There we are. Then watch. Frightening this. Oh no. Oh, there she is. Whoa!

23:30Chris Stark: Oh my God! Oh my God! Not in the Jumballon bar. Not on my watch! You guys? No way! What's going on? Oh, God! Come on, look! The human race is... What the hell?

23:54Chris Stark: Fuck me! The game has gone! The game! Oh, my... You've moved your hand and all that's his! Big smile on you!

24:09Chris Stark: It's incredible. Game's gone. That game is fully gone. Should we do financial fair play? I think you might have to after a divorce.

24:23Chris Stark: After the divorce. Financial fair play. FFP. Where do you fly? Where do you lie on that? I don't know yet. I just, I mean, I can't get over that video. I literally cannot. I'm really struggling to get over that. It's just going to be lodged in my brain. But you are right. This is why you need AI written on the bottom of things now to, you know, this is the world we live again. You're watching someone just, I just posted that, just having a great day in the Chumba one bar. Posted that. Yeah. What kind of reaction would that get? It wouldn't be a good one when I go home, that's for sure. Not at home.

24:58Chris Stark: Wouldn't it? Imagine. I mean, that's how dangerous that stuff is. Christ almighty. Right, okay. Well, moving on. the financial bit of play genuinely I know it's hard to think about anything else now but I don't know I just I just I don't like I don't really like it if I'm honest I understand why it came in because I understand why lots of you know teams are certainly like Portsmouth Bury going out of business you know Derby so there's so many teams got in financial trouble through mismanagement of people that have come in and used the club for their own personal gain. And it's still going on to this day, even with FFP involved.

25:39Chris Stark: But what I don't understand is, obviously, the big story is obviously Manchester City with the amount of charges and then being punished. And you look at Everton, not in the forest, to clubs who have been punished. You're like, well, how does that work? How is that fair? Yeah, they've just got deeper pockets to kick the can down the road, haven't they? That's what they've done. Like, to a T. they've gone whatever they've 100 out of many cases yeah so we'll do a case for every one of those cases so they've just literally they've just parked it down the road so I get that and you are right it definitely has structured football in a better place for football clubs to run but there's still ways around it so for instance what Chelsea have done in terms of the contracts

26:30renaming the stadium you know that should be worth X amount but they've times it by 10 so I remember Arsene Vega saying that years and years ago about Man City when they'd done the Etihad I think it was

26:40Chris Stark: I think Mike Ashley was one of the first as well do you remember and it was like everyone was like what the hell they're renaming St James' Park yeah sports director Ian and it was like you know and it was obviously just a ploy exactly yeah but they'll always find loopholes around it but on the flip side to that you could say it's benefited the lesser clubs for instance your Crystal Palace or your Nottingham Forest in terms of this year how well they've done in terms of competing with the top teams because they can't spend so for instance Brighton this last season had their biggest transfer window because other big teams couldn't go into the window so they see their opportunity to go right this is our chance to try and get some good players like recruit some good players but the frustration as well is the fact that you could generate huge profits by selling homegrown players, right?

27:32Chris Stark: Fans of football clubs love homegrown players. If you're a Geordie who's playing for Newcastle, you know, or, you know, just someone who's come through the club, you know, the way the financial fair play is now, Steven Gerrard would be a fantastic asset for Liverpool to sell. Imagine that. Fucking, who wants that? Yeah. John Terry. Yeah. You know what I mean? Like, someone come in, pay 100 billion for him, generate huge profit for the club because you come from nothing. You know, if they're in a spot above and they need 100 million... Conor Gallagher. ...then you have to do it. Yeah, that's what I'm saying.

28:05Chris Stark: Everyone's talking about having to sell kind of homegrown players. That isn't good for our games, is it? Where the game's gone, I think, sort of similar to this, is shirt sponsors. I don't think you can have necessarily... I believe that a shirt sponsor should be from the town that the club's in. It needs to be a business that's associated with the town. And it used to be a bit more like that. And I think that front of shirt sponsor, prominent bit on the kit, should, I think, be a bit more old school. I think it should relate to where... I think I like that. I like that. I think that would be a great rule.

28:47Yeah. There's so many other ways to earn money. Yeah. That I think you almost, on a kit, you want to support it. And I loved those kits where you loved the sponsor as much as the badge is. Sponsor sometimes makes the kit. Yeah. It did, yeah. New key brown ale, that sort of thing, you know. Yeah. Here's one for you with shirt sponsors especially. Is there a limit of where you can sponsor? So for instance, you can have your front done. You can get arms now, sleeves. Sleeves. Sure, is there some on the back as well?

29:20Chris Stark: Well, yeah. Definitely in European countries, there's sponsors everywhere, isn't there? Yeah. on the back and stuff. And on this point, where the game's gone is you now have how many kits? Four? Four or five kits? Yeah. Or obviously really expensive. That's what I think has gone a little mad. You have a kit which the team are probably obligated to wear once, maybe twice in the whole season. As a football fan, you sort of want to keep up with, you know, and be able to feel like you can perch. It's all gone nonsense now. I mean, you never had, you had a home and away kit maybe a third kit did you always have a third kit?

29:58I think only if you had clashed with the home and away

30:00Chris Stark: both clash exactly yeah that was the only time you'd do that you had a fourth kit wasn't only for a fourth I think I don't agree with that no I'm the same no agreed is there anything within the game that annoys you like you know things like I remember diving was a huge issue for a while when Jürgen Klinsmann came over and said oh the game's gone Jürgen Klinsmann's here he's going to dive everywhere do you know what I mean through periods of time Like I know there's a huge, like tactically, very much about possession-based football. At times that does annoy me. What annoys me is the philosophy of a manager doesn't change ever.

30:39Chris Stark: And go, well, you're losing every week, but this is my philosophy. Well, like have you ever addressed the fact that you could change that philosophy just for a couple of games? Or, you know, maybe within the game, you can just go away from those beliefs for a little bit just to potentially win a game. Do you know what I mean? That annoys me. The adaptability's gone. It feels like, nah, this is the way we play. And I'm like, that does frustrate me. And I think it frustrates a lot of football fans as well. Well, I think that was probably possibly the undoing of Ange Poster Coglu. It was like, it's who we are, mate.

31:10Chris Stark: You know, that kind of quote. It was like, well, yeah, but you're getting pumped. Yeah. And I think... Do you have to change it up a little bit? Yeah, just like, some of the best managers I've ever seen. And that's not a pop at Ange because, you know, there were elements to him I thought was fantastic and you know I've always got on great with him as well and I like him and respect him as a man and you know winning the Europa League was amazing but there were elements of that that I think frustrated a lot of people and I think there is a little bit too much of that I think when I think about the best managers from our day they were adaptable like Harry for me he would say we have this way of playing if the foe's playing we have a different way of playing if Peter Crouch is playing that's just common sense I think you know we don't play one way with two completely different players yeah I think that stems from when we've done our coaching badges and they say right you can all have your different philosophy you haven't got to follow like well obviously we've done ours at Wales so it's not going to be the Welsh way but as long as you stand by what you mean then that's fine but it feels like everyone's done that and just sort of stuck to their principles and not gone well I want to be a bit different I feel like we don't have to play whatever 3-4-3 and our fullbacks high and wide and this out why don't someone just go now 4-4-2 why don't someone just go back to two strikers everyone's like got to play the same way I think that's why football has gone a little bit and I obviously know we've done a run on this and you all sort of jumped on me about being entertained but I think this season is not like in terms of contrast of teams do you know what I mean imagine now like a 4-4-2 coming up against a whatever a dynamic 3-5-2 and things like that it's all the same now isn't it the most the most kind of getting on a rant now but it's so simple like I remember playing Swansea Roberto Martinez and he was very much like Brendan Rodgers had Swansea before that Roberto Martins I think it was the other way around maybe but I think it was Brendan first then Martinez and then anyway they're playing around we as a Stoke team we were like Coyle Springs you know they're rolling it out to the centre half right every single time we were on top of them I think we had 10 chances in the first 25 minutes from them giving the ball away and I was being all over them in the final third just setting traps knowing when to press so does that is that a great philosophy right or do you once maybe even roll it out and let us come and just clip it over us once then we'll think oh hold on a minute let's not go you know like there's it's time to play if the team's really deep right roll it out suck them in and play around them.

33:50Chris Stark: I totally get that. That's a beautiful way of playing football. But if they are, all five people are on top of you, you've got five people in your own box. You clip it over them. You've taken five people out of the game. That is not long ball. That is not, it's not rocket science. What's wrong with the long ball? I think there's an expectation and there must be stats to back it up that you, you know, teams play out from the back like they do. But I, maybe I only see the mistakes, but whenever Watford try it, it rarely goes right I never I never understand it and ultimately at some point then the ball gets sent out of desperation rather than choice exactly right and it annoys me when you're playing with players and you go this is my philosophy but you've got two centre-halves who can't play and you're like great that's a great philosophy but get two and do it when you've got two centre-halves you're comfortable on the football I just can't stand two centre-halves who are there to stop it trying to play and get themselves in trouble well then too much goes through them anyway you've got defenders essentially being midfielders you know like what we were seeing with Inter Milan when the two centre-halves were going into midfield and the two midfielders are dropping and splitting you think that I get that I get that they're taking the centre-halves out of the plate and the midfielders are getting on the ball you're the two most comfortable people in possession and if they if they do give it away they can still defend but they're better on the ball and then they just swap once they've played through yeah I agree yeah I get it and you know what sums that up was the cup final Crystal Palace their goal oh yeah with the nice country how good was that that just literally there and some people go old school but he knows what to do he knows yeah okay play play play but then the odd one just go forward and it happened and they scored crazy yeah yeah easy listen I'm not old school and all that there's a there's a element of this pod that can go like oh it wouldn't have happened in my day but it's just it's just common sense I think it's just It's not even long ball.

35:48Chris Stark: It's just sometimes I think that whole philosophy thing, surely you have to have a philosophy for each game. Do you think there's a case of over, it's almost over-complicating sometimes. Is part of the problem now you have, say, set-piece coaches, you know, maybe if we're going to have set-piece coaches, we should have goal kick coaches. we should have you know just for any little bit of the game has its own person who gets up off the bench and stands there and gives a little signal you know that's where it seems to be going and actually maybe you can't look so individual for a team sport maybe that's where it's going a bit crazy I think clubs are looking at every 1 % that's what it is and if that means that they have to go into micromanaging then that's what they'll do but I think you're right you can't nail everything no do you know what I mean and not on like this 1 % thing you hear a lot in football but what you're actually saying is it's not necessarily giving you the extra percent it feels to me that you're you're zooming in too much on every little bit it doesn't necessarily mean that it all comes together properly but again I think it's a wider society problem like it's I saw Russell Cain doing the thing at the moment right I don't know if you've seen it 5am wankers have you seen it no it's one of the best things I've ever seen if you Google Russell Cain right 5am wankers you won't be disappointed it's basically you know all these people these self help people all over your feed they go up at 5am they have protein shakes they work out then they're doing they're on their laptop at like half seven they're working through the day do you know what I mean it's another protein shake they're doing it all before normal people are awake well he does a skit of that and it's fucking amazing he's like we basically get up before we've even gone to bed that kind of thing he's like because I'm a 5am wanker and he goes like my wife's left me but we still get up at 5am well they're the best but like I see it all the time you know like just that let's get the edge and all that are they really doing that is it really helpful to get up at 5am are you not knackered by 7 and ratty I don't know like there's a lot of self-help kind of vibes going on and I think yeah definitely get up be healthy but I think there's a balance there somewhere on the health thing I think more injuries than ever that rule players out for a long period of time.

38:14The reason I say that I think the game's gone in this particular thing is it can't be a coincidence since they stopped using magic spray that these injuries have got worse.

38:25Chris Stark: Yeah, yeah. I haven't seen a tub of deep heat for years. No. Just not using them. How good was that? Strappings. The old school videos where someone's down, they run on, the can goes... It's like a cloud of smoke. Mist appears. The mist appears. Totally fine. So they run it off. I'd run it off and the magic sponge as well just say what they do is put a sponge on your magic sponge and now the injuries are awful since they've stopped using magic spray and magic sponge yeah yeah it's no good gotta bring that back it's no good at all but I also think with that as well getting slightly more serious is the amount of games that they're playing now it seems to be it's quite ridiculous like when I see some of the quite different results in the world club championship I'm like well it's because they don't want to be there yeah and they don't the players as you can tell they don't even the managers it's weird that well they just don't want to be there do they and you look at some of the Brazilian teams and that like they do want to be there like you can see that they want what they're playing against Real Madrid or they you know this is big for them I just think a lot of the big European teams don't want to be there no of course not player wise no no I know I know they don't I spoke to a few of them and they've gone I've got to get this holiday in before to literally recharge larger batteries and I'm flying out playing in ridiculous heat it's like yeah doing that before another big grueling season next season and then a World Cup yeah a World Cup as well I think there's a there's some sort of stat and don't quote him on it because it could be completely wrong but we haven't done any research on it whatsoever but Jude Bellingham and I think Steven Gerrard Frank Lampard whatever if you compare the games they've played at the same age yeah I think it's and they played every game available at the time I think it's ridiculous the amount of games that you've played.

40:14Chris Stark: I agree. I agree. Just one thing, boys. Throw-ins. What's your take on throw-ins? Or maybe spot kick-ins. Oh, kick-ins compared to throw-ins. I like the thought of a kick-in. Yeah. The only thing I don't like is it might slow the game even more because if you had a free kick just inside the touchline, you'd throw the centre-halves forward and it'd take a long time to whip a cross in. Yeah. I think if you time manage that, like if it goes out, if you say if you've got five seconds, you could kick it in. Yeah. But any longer than that, it's a throw-in. Yeah. Do you know what I mean? So you could stop that.

40:54Chris Stark: Yeah, because that would get boring in, wouldn't it? I quite like the kick-in. Yeah. It's got to be quick though. Or if they want to send them up there, they've got to do it in five seconds. Yeah, they've got to pick it up. Imagine that, the two set of rasts. Van de Ven doing 30 miles an hour. you'd have to enforce the time limit wouldn't you you have to but properly enforce it so be because it doesn't really exist at the moment they don't properly enforce the six second rule or whatever it is now do you think it actually needs to be changed when you actually think of it how bad are throw-ins do you think you've got the ball right you're in position of the ball you're throwing it down the line in a 50-50 contest to possibly just lose the ball yeah oh that's actually it's actually a long it's a big part of the game which is crap it is when the more you think about it right let's work the line who wants to watch people work in the line seriously no one not one person wants to see that do they you don't pay a lot of money now season tickets tickets to watch someone work the line no one's going oh it's great working the line you're you're working to throw it to hopefully their attacker or their defender hits it out for a throne for you to just get up the line yeah it's terrible it's so true and it like my little boy played his first five side tournament on the weekend and they're only six but obviously they do the thing where if it goes out they put it down and you can actually run it in right so you can either pass it or it's no throw-ins just pass it or run it in.

42:37Chris Stark: But like the minute the defender turns his back, right? Imagine a winger just going at the fullback. That is more entertaining than working the line. I think there's lots of things they should try. If you're going to introduce VAR, then you've got to try other things as well. I'm a big fan in basketball of the shot clock, you know, forcing someone to have a shot when it runs it down. And then reset maybe when you go past the halfway line again. Yeah. Similar idea. but I do like the idea of it getting down to five seconds someone having to have a go having a pop from wherever they are yeah yeah yeah it's good that isn't it yeah because as that clock runs down more often than not you're going to have to just punt it high and hope a striker gets on it well that stops that sometimes when you watch like so it's like Manchester City or you know teams and I understand why they do it because they've got 11 people behind the ball and it's hard to do you know where they're consistently like recycling it round round yeah then all of a sudden it lands at Diaz and it's three seconds.

43:37Chris Stark: He's got to have a pop. There's something in it. Sure. Yeah, I think if the further you're out, there's got to be like a handicap situation for the keeper that he can't use his hands. It'd be easy for the keeper. He can bring it down with his chest or he can save his head if it's a bullet shot. This is great, Sid. So if it's inside the box, the goalie's allowed to use their hands. The hands are in play. but yeah but any shot from outside goalies can't do it or if it's like just inside the half because if you have a countdown clock and you have to shoot from inside the half and it's on target the keeper can easily just catch it it's an easy shot isn't it the only point with these rule changes is it just takes out history do you know what I mean like so heritage heritage and we are we're a podcast football heritage just takes out you know say someone goes say Haaland goes and scores if you think about it say it would be De Bruyne or someone because he's got a great strike from outside the box all of a sudden his stats go up and he's one of the best goalscoring midfielders of all time you're like well hold on a minute keep us at arms back in the day you know

44:47Chris Stark: yeah

44:51Chris Stark: you wouldn't be Reading's top goalscoring midfielder

44:59Chris Stark: well lads I feel like we've put the football world to rights there. Yeah. Yeah. What's been good is it hasn't just been looking at football and sort of saying about how it was better back in the day. It's also looking forward, isn't it? At what football could potentially do. How AI might affect football or your relationships. Which is well. You know. We've covered everything really. We've got to look forward as well. Listen, this podcast is always open and we embrace the woke generation.

45:32Chris Stark: That was the most un-embracive. What a quote. We embrace the woke generation.

45:47The way you said that so seriously.

45:53Chris Stark: Another classic. You can take that out if you want. Hold on. So just some notes from that. we are embracing, if you are woke and you're out there, we embrace it. We embrace you. Great quote, Sid. That could be as big as Puddings of Matthew. If you are woke, we embrace it. Oh, okay. Sorry. We embrace the woke generation. Sorry. I've got to run off and get an anniversary present today. Is it yours today? No, it's next week. Your second wedding anniversary. No, no, nothing like that. Just need to get some, just have it. Anyway. Crouchy Chris Notorious I don't know I just didn't I don't know why you said that That really just came from nowhere No I just thought of it Just then I'm just thinking What I've got to do today I might go for the school run Yeah Uses Er Bro I don't know I can't compare to them two No no That's me done Oh good alright Crouchy Chris Notorious I do regards your families I'm probably one of your youngest listeners at 13 years old.

47:01Chris Stark: I have a soft spot for Crouchy and I found out he went to Drayton Manor school like my dad. Although my dad is quite a bit older. Anyway, he's got a Vanarama for us. Wow. Fantastic. Pepe, Sergio Ramos and Marcel Desailly as I'm a Chelsea fan. Yours truly, Ezza. That's the big E he calls himself. The big E. Only 13. The big E. The big E. Whoa. Whoa. Great. Vanarama at 13. 13 years old. Well done. Superb. It's great to hear from you. That's nice. Bizarre Vanarama for a 13-year-old. It is. Well, yeah, I suppose most of those weren't born when... I mean, sorry, he would have been born when... Certainly when Desai was at his pomp.

47:42Chris Stark: But, you know, good knowledge. It's a good Vanarama. Yeah, it is. It is. We'll have a look, won't we? We'll have a look. We'll have a look. We'll have a look. Right then, where are we seeing this one? certainly not a Fiat 500 is it no yeah okay well let's break this down then so Pepe Sergio Ramos and Marcel Desailly well Ramos isn't going in the middle is he do you think Ramos I mean was Ramos was Pepe's captain at Real Madrid was he not must be he's saying he's bossing him right yeah although Pepe's a bit of a loose cannon I think he's I think he's bossing him round he's the skipper yep there's IE I mean that's football heritage cool customer Marcel wasn't he cool enough to have his arm out the window I would say yeah yeah I agree Ramos driving I feel like Pepe could be in the middle there yeah we happy with that that's IE on the right yeah yeah I like that great I'm not sure if we're still playing the Barry from EastEnders theme tune anymore but We can have a blast now if you want.

48:54Do you want a quick blast of it? We'll have it now. Here it is. I'm looking for that man in the middle. I'm hoping he can change his seat. Oh, no. Don't think that he can get to the window. Take a look at the van and the driver's seat and go for that change. I'm gonna make that change. Ooh, ooh. Vaneraa, vaneraa, vaneraaama. Ooh, ooh, ooh. Hey. Vaneraa, vaneraa, vaneraaama.

49:35Chris Stark: Gonna make that change. Wow. Wow.

49:47It's good to remind you, you know, it was good that performance.

49:51Chris Stark: I just think sometimes, you know, lots of things happen on this pod. It's very fast pace. Sometimes it's good to remind yourself that we actually did that. Can we, we never really discussed this. So I had to come in especially to be there for the Bowery from EastEnders recording of the theme tune there. now I'd started chemotherapy about three days before it so I was high you must have all day thinking is this really happening I'm sure if this is really happening I just look back on that time and know how ill I actually was and you were running late both of you and Crouchy you messaged me saying do you mind just taking him for a coffee across the road oh you did didn't you and I had to entertain Sean Sean for best part of half hour, 40 minutes or so.

50:42And I just remember feeling like my insides were burning and going like, how's this happened? But well worth coming in for anyway.

50:51Chris Stark: It was great. Yeah, I enjoyed it. It was a great day. And I really like him. I just got odd memories of that time. And I don't fully think I was in the room. It's sort of, I know I was in body, but probably not in mind. but just hearing that back it's like a fever dream anyway Long Knit Barron okay hello gentlemen first and foremost regards to your families Robbie from the Highlands here oh wow loving the pod one day listener day one listener one day oh sorry one day I thought you just listened one day yeah day one sorry day one I've just listened to the episode about rivalries unexpected clashes so I'm a bit behind but catching up fairly quick I've been seeing this girl for a few months and noticed she puts her seatbelt on before she starts the car.

51:39Chris Stark: This led me laughing absolutely hysterically to the point it annoyed her and asked what I was laughing at, to which I proceeded to tell her the story. This all comes as no surprise, as women being women, but she gave me the whole immature lecture. She comes from a wealthy family to the point her strict anal bastard of a dad is a lord. makes sense how she drives in the 10 to 2 position. God forbid if I ask her about reverse cowgirl in the toilet. What an email is this, by the way. Two questions here. It's been a week since this incident and things are still a bit frosty. Can I chumber one but it's back?

52:21Chris Stark: And have any of you or someone you know said or did something stupid in front of royalty unintentionally cheers lads all the best whoa he doesn't leave his name now it's Robbie Robbie for the Highlands I'm surprised he's left his name on that one well yeah so father-in-law okay I know you're it's only boyfriend girlfriend things in but he's a lord right fascinating fascinating I wonder how he's I wonder how he's done that then just getting like the only fours and horses yeah he meets the girl when they go to the big house the chandelier one isn't it yeah the chandelier one yeah just getting that that's cropping up so just can we go to the second bit first anything that you because obviously you guys have met royalty yeah we went to we went to Kensington Palace we interviewed Prince William I said to Prince William because it had gone on a bit longer than we had initially thought it would the chat we're all having

53:40such a nice time that he sort of cleared his diary didn't he he carried on talking so by that point i was sort of three or four pints in and i knew i needed a piss but i just thought oh surely they'll wrap this thing up soon but they didn't and we carried on drinking so at one point i i looked up at prince william and i said are we gonna have another pint um he was like yeah um but if we if we are can i can i just quickly run for a piss and i said that to him do you remember and then it was only really when I got down to the toilet I thought this is mad like the future king is waiting for me to finish up here I just thought that was on reflection a really odd thing to say what did he say when you said come and go for a piss yeah cool but has anyone ever asked him that you know

54:39Chris Stark: yeah probably not odd shout it's interesting yeah I mean I don't think I'd say anything embarrassing I remember I remember playing the Unicef game at Old Trafford and had Prince Harry come in in the change room before the game and he said to me you know how did you bag Abbey yeah he said to me and what annoyed me about it was I didn't say anything back I kind of was rabbit caught in headlights yeah but I wish I'd said you know you can fucking talk

55:19that's a discussion for another time as well is the things that you wish you'd said you know those moments where you look back on it and you go I wish I'd I wish I'd done something there

55:31Chris Stark: so yeah that's our interactions great guys both of them I have to say Harry and William great guys like really really like great great guys we had the best time with them okay and he wants the chumbabamba back yeah Chris this was something you said about me you said I put my seatbelt on before I I even start the engine yeah there's a few things it's become I mean it's really safe but it's become derogatory now isn't it really he's taken the piss out of her for it and she's obviously gone like what are you talking about you indicate out of your drive and stuff yeah things like that yeah well put it on before I when you go out your drive you indicate yeah as you're pulling

56:13someone said you check your mirrors as you're pulling off of your drive yeah yeah

56:18Chris Stark: no you check the mirrors before you start the car you know then it's seatbelt then it's ignition okay so you need to come back you need to come back well he's in a tricky position he's in you know not 19 forever pull yourself together territory here isn't it he's basically seeing a girl who thinks he's a bit immature because he sends emails like this to his favorite podcast and um yeah and stuff like that well i don't know what we can do really because she obviously likes him um but i don't think you have to change yourself for her i think let her maybe listen to one of the podcasts together and i think she'll come around i think she'll enjoy it um she'll have a laugh and you go that's what all I was referring to yeah it's a little gag like that you know I can see you laughing there you know what I mean yeah so let her listen to it and see if she actually laughs along now I get it got ya I get it there you go I've got it and then they'll have one of the biggest chumbawumbers of all time okay on the not 19 forever stuff we've not mentioned Tucker's 19 for a bit haven't we I wonder how Tucker's 19 is and there'll be loads of people starting to get the shirts won't they for the new season kits getting released remember You can get Tucker's 19 on the back.

57:35Yep. He did send a message to me. Did he? Yeah. Just regarding the anniversary. I can't remember what it was, but he did send it. He sent regards to it. Yeah, he did send it. Love it. Congrats to your family. Tucker's 19. Good luck with your royal girlfriend. Yeah, let us know how it goes. Yeah. It sounds to me that just from the impression I'm getting from the email, it's like, he's just very different. he's going out with someone that is just like a totally different lifestyle and that will take some figuring out

58:08Chris Stark: yeah it certainly does okay good day Crouchy from Bahrain Bonfire Bollocks and BBQ C Plus first of all regards to your family God it's hard to know who's who from some of these nicknames now isn't it there's a lot going on massive fan of the pod I've just finished listening to the Duncan Ferguson episode which was a cracker wasn't it which by the way was absolute class what a bloke I really think you're onto something with the big dunk alarm but I didn't have an idea I wanted to run past you instead of a regular alarm sound when an intruder is present I think the alarm should blurt out getty fuck on repeat until the authorities arrive if there was ever a sound that would send you packing it with that I even think the big dunk whispering it might be more sinister but either works keep up the good work and let me know you want me to draw up some examples of the alarm as I'm a graphic designer yeah well please do it was from Dan Ellis regards your families two things amazing about this actually so when we discussed this alarm the idea of a sticker in your window saying this house is protected by big dunk is brilliant but what they've stumbled upon here and I think this is the genius of your email Dan is the idea that everyone's alarms are kind of the same it's a loud siren but how good would that be if say you could have a threatening voice come from upstairs as if like, as if like, if you are robbing the house, you think there's a hard bastard upstairs instead of someone like me.

59:37Do you know what I mean? Yeah. So definitely play with your psyche, wouldn't it? 100%. 100%. Like we're not being logical with alarms. Like if you had the voice of a hard bastard being pumped as if, as if it's a human upstairs, that's more effective. What does that sound like? Well, yeah. Give us a quick blast. Yeah. so it'd be a bit more like hey hey you down there I'm gonna fuck you up

1:00:11Chris Stark: I've got to be honest because I'll be straight in

1:00:19that is brilliant that is brilliant they could be motion it could be a sensor so the burglar gets picked up on the motion thing the little one in the corner blinks. Just automatically. And then a voice from upstairs. That's the genius of Dan Ellis' idea there. And do you know what else is genius as well? It doesn't have to be loud. No. Like the quieter. So say the film Taken. You know what he says. I will find you. If he done that in a loud, like ranting way, it wouldn't have the same effect. Yeah. Imagine that being played out. You, I can see you. I will find you. I will kill you. Yeah. I will find you and I will hurt you yeah eh yeah

1:01:02Chris Stark: full of ideas full of ideas we've got so much going on I was thinking as well like that one you just say like like Abbey hand me the shotgun simple simple perfective yeah do you know what I mean like what are you going to take the risk 50-50 are you coming on bespoke alarms Abigail hand me the shotgun it's a couple of whoppers down there oh okay we could be on to something there alright okay there's a quick 11 if you don't mind Crouchy from Bahrain Notorious from BBQC Plus love the work from day one keep it up he says I work in a prison I've got a belt over a nickname from the inside there's a lad called Popeye at work I know what you're thinking ex-navy covered in tattoos and probably loves spinach well that's what I was thinking he's none of those when I asked him about the nickname without hesitation he popped out his glass eye so obvious but so unexpected work has got me thinking about a crime 11.

1:02:00Chris Stark: Enjoy. Oh, great. Interesting. Okay. Gianluigi Dunarana. Kyle Stalker. He's got Ashley Stoll. Damien Hanclough. Yeah. Gareth Jail. Jack Seelish. Theft Fabregas. Gary Speeding. Nigel Riakoka Dealer. Oh, my God. Patrick Burglar Robbing Vans Robbing Vans Percy Robbing Vans Percy Wow The manager is Arsene Wenger Oh my god Subs Nick Grope Steve Stolwell James Mad James Madden Is on the run Maddy's on the run James Madden's on the run Raheem Stealing Brilliant Alright well you know there's lots of ideas there lots of stuff to go out so much to be getting on with we can't forget any of those ideas write some of that stuff down there's some stuff to do obviously you know we've got parking stuff to sort out AI AI yeah there's lots to go out there so be careful out there you know not as old as it seems

1:03:18do you know what that sounded like? the end of Crimewatch Crimewatch don't have an eye base

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