The Madness of Loan Moves & Why We NEED a Fourth Official Appreciation Day

0:00Chris Stark: Hello and welcome to that Peter Crouch podcast. Notorious Society and Chris Stark with me. How are we later? All good? Really good. Really good, yeah. We had a good weekend. I was down at our friend's, friend of the pod, Mike White. I was down at Dorkin on Saturday. Down at Dorkin, yeah. What's your lad playing? He was on loan at Dagenham and it was 0-0. We had a great game but it was good. Do you know what? I love non-league football. How good is it when you go down there? You can have a beer, you watch the game. It's just a throwback. I thought that when we went to Farnham. Yeah. Just what a great day out, you know.

0:31Hang on, Mark was managing the other team to where your kid plays. Yeah, he's on loan from Wimbledon. My Harry's on loan from Wimbledon to Dagenham Redbridge. He's quite a vocal manager, isn't he? He got booked. It's quite noisy there, right? Dork in there, they've got a good following. I think there's about 1 ,600 people down there. And you could hear him from the other side. I was on the other side on the other stand. And he got booked. He got booked in the game for a bit of dissent. But it was good. I love a bit of non-league football. Sorry, I've just mentioned something as well. I had the boots on last week.

1:05I'm doing a little initiative for Jameson and the EFL. So we're going to give a Sunday league team, they can go out now and try and apply for this, the chance of having a proper EFL matchday experience. So I'm going to basically sign for a Sunday league team and they're going to get the commentators, the pundits, presenters, all pit side, analysis, physios, referees, no VAR. So it's going to be brilliant. But do you do all of the roles? No, I'm just playing. Okay, so you're the player. I'm playing. I thought you were like a one man, I'll do your punditry, I'll do your... No, no, I'm not. Yeah, I think the EFL are sending the whole shebang down there.

1:53So someone listening, if you're playing in a Sunday league team, you could end up playing for them. Yep. That's class. Anywhere in the country. So yeah, I think they can go on to the EFL or Jameson or somewhere and apply for it all. But yeah, I was looking forward to it. It's good that to be fair. It is good. I've done a little promo the other week at Millwall and yeah, it was good to get the boots back on. It was good. I'm excited to see the results of that. I worry you'll be a target. yeah I mean I have to sharpen the studs I'll sharpen the studs I'll be alright I'll be alright there you go how was your weekend boys yeah good mate yeah you Chris yeah good I'll tell you why I'm buzzing it's feels like we're into soup season now oh yeah and I know you love a soup especially Crouchy but I'm all year round Chris you know so love soup I know we've previously talked about our wives making a sandwich that never end up happening I don't want this to be a competition your wife makes the best soup yeah that's true I went round Crouchy's once for soup and he didn't just come round for soup you had soup while you were there right yeah but my memory remembers it as the main event I'm not just saying it I fucking hate Stilton and Abby put it in some soup like some vegetable things she made wild class oh it was she likes broccoli can we make sure we get that facial there as well in a slow-mo because that was so real.

3:24Oh. It was. I've thought about it so often since. This must have been about a year ago. I remember you saying you couldn't believe it, could you? It is sensational. Is it? She does a good soup. You've got to try her soup. Maybe we do it half-time in the next podcast you whip out a little thermos. I'll bring a little flask for us.

3:44Chris Stark: But please send my regards to her. It is a good soup. Isn't it mad? Maybe. That's a good mushroom one as well. Is she? Yeah, Broccoli and Stilton's definitely up there. I think she could be the new Aunt Bessie of soups. Like, R-Ab's soup. R-Ab's. What could it be? Like, there's got to be a name in there somewhere, hasn't it? But Clancy soup. No, that sounds wrong. But it needs a name and it needs bottling and give the people what they want. Okay, all right. We'll look into that. We are in soup season. we're looking to do you enjoy the games I was at the Mercer Derby on the weekend I see you enjoyed it I did enjoy it yeah yeah got stitched up a bit there didn't I you know what like I couldn't believe the seats so I'm in between the benches right I'm literally sitting next to Joe Gomez on the bench and like the bench is there it was it was amazing what is that just like TNT get allocated just two or three seats for you guys usually like behind the bench but this was like row one next to it next to the bench yeah I've put myself in that scenario again like I want to come on and make an impact here you know like I was putting myself on the bench mentally were you?

4:58Chris Stark: yeah did you almost hold yourself a bit differently yeah I was like I had a bit nervous energy like oh he's going to he's going to give me a nod here but did you he's going to turn around he sat gone instead so what I couldn't work out when I saw you there is could you could you interact with the manager like when the manager turned around to talk to the players where you're sort of in there. I was just listening to what you're saying. You're in the conversation. You know, it's like, Alex, go warm up. He was like, he's right there and he's going, it's just amazing to be right in. And you can hear everything that they're saying.

5:32Chris Stark: Yeah, he's like, do you need a couple of minutes or can you go on now? You know, like one of those, he said, he went out and warmed up. Like, I felt I was involved fully. They don't mic up the bench properly. And that's one thing, when you see all the changes of ref cam and stuff like that, I'd love to hear some of the conversations that, obviously the players wouldn't would stop conversing probably which would be the problem yeah but getting the angle you had would be amazing to see it really was good you know the fourth official just he still gets loads of loads of grief who would be a fourth like seriously may the fourth be with you may the fourth be with you come on nightmare for those but I think we've got to stand up for the fourths you know they're getting a lot they're getting a lot of grief out there don't they do you know what they are they're the it's like they're the you know what's the one the community officers they're like community you know they're not the ref they're not the police yeah they're just trying to help out yeah and people just give them a bit they haven't got the respect for them I think they should I think they deserve a bit more respect how do you how do you solve that though sorry we're very practically driven on this podcast how do you solve that though what do you do is it a PR thing do we need to get them out and about a bit more doing stuff you know being seen maybe do we need to make celebrities of them do we need to get them on reality shows like do we need the public maybe i wonder if we can get one on here on the pod just for a little segment to say listen honestly in your shoes what's it like and tell us what's the worst abuse you've ever had but but you almost want you see done right what you want is kids wanting to be a fourth official like that's the best possible scenario that can happen you know that the perception of them changes to such.

7:18And then you grow through a generation that obviously, you know, the next generation will have...

7:23Chris Stark: What do you want to be when you grow up? Yeah. A fourth. Well booked day, stuff like that. Dressed up as your favourite fourth. Maybe we make a day. God, it's always... It only takes two minutes into the podcast before we... Maybe we need on May the 4th or like another fourth. May the 4th. Everyone, everyone... it's like a big fourth official day you go to work as your favourite fourth official out of interest favourite fourth official Simon Hooper no doubt hoops no doubt no doubt in my mind Simon Hooper is he's the Mbappe of fourths for me we just need to get everyone excited about fourth officials don't we maybe we set up a website only fourths

8:16Chris Stark: Anyway, all good ideas. It's all good, yeah. We'll look into that. We can get into that, can't we? Now we set up that OnlyFourths page. You think? We have a body cap.

8:34Chris Stark: What about if you just posted fourths on OnlyFans, but posted just pictures of fourths? Do you know what we need? the number four just to become way more prominent in everything so like I'm not promoting graffiti here but like just everything now let's get four everywhere it'll just become a thing you know what I mean unless it's got that's got other connotations or something I don't understand in which case row back from that quickly but

9:03I don't think it's only a number I don't think so I'm proposing it in support of the fourth official yeah yeah of course that number's in the number four as well a dart a sign See It's a sign Start to the number four Okay

9:17Chris Stark: Okay Alright then We'll look into that Please support your fourth This weekend Wherever you are Yeah obviously I wasn't just You know Gab Just taking things in On the side of the bench I was actually doing the game Great game It was an interesting game Liverpool played really well Yeah And then Everton Fair play Got back into it Second half played I thought they did really well Jack Grealish was Very good I think the two wingers They've got It's just the only forward I just struggled up front I think who Everton yeah that's the only problem I think solid defensively wingers are good not much of a cutting edge a lot being said this opening what are we four or five games in now yeah so Liverpool not firing really leaving the game still late not convincing wins but it seems like they're getting back what did you make of I don't know if you saw this Dewsbury Hall getting booked for taking a quick free kick I heard about this oh I didn't see this so believe that he tried to take a quick free kick got booked for it so is that this was near the end of the game was it was this near the end of the game so he's got so he's got booked for what exactly not respecting the whistle yeah you can't get booked for that can you apparently you can unless the referee has said to him wait wait and he's gone and then he's gone yeah I think that's obviously what's happened but everyone was a bit dumbfounded with that one wasn't they it was a bit mad you could hear Moyes obviously my you know mole role that I was in I was earwig and everything Moyes was like get it out to get it out to keep feeding him basically that's all he was doing and he got booked for it what was the other bizarre behaviour I saw this weekend was it was it the Tottenham game where the lad sort of run around the goal to get around the other side of it alright so this was at the weekend this was another bit of freaky behaviour I see so look this corner comes in and then can you see the player just running round so Lucas Bergvot is trying to get away from his marker he's running round the back of the goal to get away from him I quite like the idea do you know what it reminds me of really quickly have you ever seen the film Field of Dreams yeah you know if they go into the cornfield they obviously they can't return yeah the Brighton fellow who's marking him just puts the brakes on doesn't he it just doesn't go over the line he doesn't know what to do he's like where is this clown where are you going it's brilliant so he runs around but the ref blew up on this one and then I think it's because you can't leave the field of play is probably the official rule yeah but then where do you stand with Gareth Bale in that goal yeah what do you run off the pitch and then come back on that's a good point it's almost like if it's done with flair it's allowed if you're in possession of the ball that is a good point bit pedantic but just on a technicality they're both examples aren't they of leaving the pitch I don't want to do away from what he did there because it was phenomenal Yeah, another obviously one of the massive fixture was Arsenal versus City, what did you make of that?

12:24Chris Stark: Sure, there's a lot being said about Pep's tactics on this one Yeah Deep line, get behind the ball I think Harland said that he wanted to come off as well, said he was tired because they played Champions League on the Thursday, didn't they? So it wasn't a quick turnaround. Arsenal are good. Great result for Liverpool, by the way. The draw. Great result for them. What about Highland as well? That goal was a machine, wasn't he? He was off. With that pain, the pace of him. You just can't catch him, can you? You also know he's going to finish. Yeah. Machine. Yeah. I don't know. Not a title decided already, but Arsenal are good.

13:04Don't write off City yet either. Do you think we're already getting stressy pep though? sort of already it's the schedule stuff's been brought up. Then again, I saw a couple of these interviews and it's journalists bringing it up to Pep, but then often the clip is just Pep talking about the schedule. He can't, he's been asked a question. He's been asked, like you've had a busy run of games. Yeah.

13:28Chris Stark: You can't win, can you? I don't know. Just in fairness here, you know? Yeah. What was with the plaster on his face? I couldn't, I was watching it without the sound. I couldn't hear what was going on there. Don't know. He seems to have scratches on him last season and then this plaster appears. It's just... I'm sure it's nothing, but it's just a bit odd, you know? A bit odd. Yeah. And then I'm always fascinated by that dynamic at the end between Arteta and Pep and how much the rivalry there is and how much love there is and interesting when you see him there. It seems like there's a lot of love.

14:05I think so. It seems like there is. It was a nice embrace. I think you know he's a winner listen ultimately it's about winning but but it wasn't over the top lovey do you know what I mean it was still felt like there's a bit of a yeah

14:19Chris Stark: he's his own man now like Arteta it feels weird that he was ever an assistant to Filipe now you know what I mean it does feel a bit strange that now yeah right in the league obviously the best league in the world Chris you've got Harlem numbers at the moment three three points again that's three in three weeks yeah three three points yeah I needed a bluey I was falling way behind and then all of a sudden it's just it's all come good so look I've just got to say thank you to everyone who sent in these predictions for me the awards speech I'm happy I'm Pep on a happy day you know I'm just loving what we're doing it's a long season incredible mate so you've got the correct score of 2-1 in the Metside derby to Liverpool you've also got the draw Man City and Arsenal Arsenal.

15:08Chris Stark: Obviously, me and you said we got the Liverpool win. Just the one point, unfortunately. So that puts Chris Storm in to lead on 14. Me and you languishing on 11. It's a long season. I'm not worried. I'm not worried yet. Legs 11.

15:29Chris Stark: Right, let's get on with the games. This next part of the podcast is supported by Paddy Power. This is a big weekend fixture and it's Newcastle versus Arsenal. struggling a little bit for goals at the moment, Newcastle. They are. I like them. A great side. Yeah. Playing well, but, you know, the ESEC situation is going to keep rumbling, It is. He got off to, he got off the mark, didn't he, Voldemort. Yeah. Voldemort. Voldemort. Yeah, great head that was, wasn't he, the other week against Wolves. Didn't start him in the Champions League, did he? No. And then, they struggled at Bournemouth, so, I don't know, I'm not worried about it because I think they've got enough artillery there, haven't they?

16:12Anthony Gordon, Barnes and stuff.

16:14Chris Stark: So James' Park as well. It gets them going. It's class, isn't it? 23-10, Newcastle and Arsenal are 23-20. So yeah, expecting Arsenal to win. Arsenal to win to nil, 13-5. They look good, Arsenal. I know, like, they'll be frustrated to lose, to obviously, it feels like a loss to join with City. I was a little bit disappointed with them because they were unbelievable against Forest when I was there such a good side, so much talent as well I feel like he's a little bit cautious maybe will he be cautious against Newcastle I think he'll have to be up there They're not having many goals scored against them though so even when cautious you know, cautious in attack they're not leaking defence are they it feels like quite a solid proposition with Arsenal at the moment Oh yeah, they're good at the back Just on Arsenal just really quickly attacking options they've got loads do you reckon they've got too much like they've got Mudwiki Saka Eze Trossard Martinelli's done well Martinelli come on scored Giorcres obviously he's the focal point up top but I just think I don't think Arteta knows he's he's all out attacking best line up but then is he doing that to adapt per team that he plays against maybe yeah maybe he's quite into that sort of way of thinking isn't he it's a bit different to what's going on let's say United or yeah it was just the Eze one really I thought he would have started yeah the City game but I don't know where'd you where'd you put him did you put him in a number 10 role I think it was quite an app for him on the to start really on the weekend I think he went with three kind of three in midfield but yeah he could have played Eze Central yeah so I was thinking this would be a good game this though this This feels like it's going to be end-to-end.

18:07Yeah. Newcastle Arsenal.

18:08Chris Stark: What are you going to go for? Chris, what's the population saying? We'll have a look. Oh, there's the ice cream van. We're back. Still going. Still going. So we're officially in autumn now. Fair play. Fair play to him. It's been a nice tradition, this, every week. Yeah. Every week. It's always when we're recording, isn't it? Unbelievable. He's still going. Every week, you know. Every day. Every day. it'll be interesting to see how long he carries on on this podcast do you remember we had one just on the pod one brilliant do you remember we were eating a sausage once throughout the pod we were just moving the sausage around in Devonshire you looked at us dirty on the ice cream as well you done the slow-mos you done us dirty on that one I remember seeing that clip that's good it's still going alright hello to I'll just go through the DMs do a few shout-outs here we've got Sam Childerly Michael Jones Dewey Williams Dewey Williams Adam Discipline

19:09Matt Chubb He's hard Ben Ben Sage Oscar Petit Who are you drawn to? Adam Discipline Let's see what I'll bet he's gone for a nil-nil He'll enjoy it He'll enjoy it by being disciplined What a name eh Adam Discipline What has he gone for?

19:28Chris Stark: He sounds like a Mr. Man Mr. Discipline it says regards to the family chaps uh he's going newcastle one arsenal two missionary i can see that that's quite good and matt chubb whilst we're here he's gone for he's gone for an arsenal three one great name mate great name also his bio is great and just thought i'd have a quick look so it's matt chubb and then his bio just says big in japan the big in Japan go on chubby he's gone for an Arsenal 3-1 win Arsenal 2-3-1s I see what you did there see what you did there I like that yeah I would say mostly mostly everyone here James Talbot here Arsenal 3-1 Don Buckley Arsenal win 3-0 it's mostly people going an Arsenal win here I don't know it's a hard one this one because as you say Newcastle at home as well what are you going for Sid?

20:32I think Arsenal will win it I think I don't know whether I think Newcastle are struggling to score but I just can see them getting one if I was the do you want me to go first? I want to go first I'm going for a 2-1 oh you bastard what Arsenal win? Arsenal 2-1 did you have a look at my thing? no no no I just think Arsenal will win and I just I don't see it being a higher scoring game for Newcastle point of view so I can see him getting one no do you know what do you know what I don't see him scoring I'm going to say 2-0 2-0 Arsenal final answer dinged you want 2-1 there yeah yeah but no you go 3-1 Chubby do I back Chub or do I back what did he go for 3-0 or 3-1 Chub on discipline okay Okay.

21:26It's such a good point. I'm going to throw it open to the team now. What did Chubb want? Let me just quickly check. Matt Chubb. I think 3-1's ambitious. So people are actually giving him predictions that he's not even using it. It's 2-1 or 3-1. So Chubb, what would you rather, guys? Chubb or discipline. Chubb or discipline. Chubb. Chubb. Chubb. Chubb. Chubb. Chubb. Chubb. Go on then, Matt Chubb. Let's do this.

21:53Chris Stark: 3-1. Well done, Chubby. 2-all I'm going to go for oh Desmond why not Arsenal they're tight they're defence you know I know they are they are disciplined they are disciplined yeah okay I'm going to change that I'm going to go 1-all you've got my head there you've got my head there if it's 2-all now I'll be fuming but I'm going 1-all okay we've got Paddy's boost here this is where we pick a leg of the CrouchPod bet builder the odds on that bet builder will then be boosted by 20 % and put on the special section of Paddy Power's website and app I'm going to go to score first Jokeres Chris what are you going to go for?

22:29Okay player to have two plus shots on target Eze Okay I will go for a player to be carded Jolington

22:38Chris Stark: Okay odds are correct at the time of recording please gamble responsibly Okay moving on Chelsea versus Brighton Chelsea sixth in the Premier League eight points from five games good moments obviously the sending off at United the other day kind of killed killed the game How about the rain in that? what old school the weather the rain it was unbelievable yeah I was actually travelling back because I was watching it in the car travelling back from I wasn't driving travelling back from Liverpool was you caught in the rain it was lashing down lashing down on the motorway loved it but yeah it was good old school Brighton again letting goals in slipping you know they're getting themselves in front they just can't hold on at the minute do you need to sort of have someone in there sort of like you know like James Milner where they can just govern people just say listen we haven't got to win this 3-0 2-0 is good enough or when it's 2-1 it does have to be 3-1 they're just letting letting teams come back into it at the moment it's not it's not really working out again I think this is going to be a good game at the bridge Gio Pedro special I guess as well oh that would be interesting yeah that's going to be because he's going to get a frosty reception I think from the from the Brighton fans is it is that how it was left well he kind of he kind of forced the move didn't he he done listen he done he done really well for Brighton towards the end there was a few things that he was doing that he kind of forced the move and got the move that he wanted so I think there'll be there'll be a mixed reception from the Brighton away end okay I'd say but yeah good game this Pete what are you going to go for?

24:13I'm going to sneak in a missionary here please guys Chelsea Chelsea 2 Brighton 1 he slipped in slipped in a missionary just to get things moving Chelsea 2-1 Chelsea 2-1

24:23Chris Stark: I feel like Brighton can get something out of this Every chance I'm I'm going to go for another Hawley draw I've gone Hawley for draws this week 2-1 I was going to go for 1-1 Were you? Yeah Oh Right I'm going to say 1-1 Okay I'm going to say 1-1 Okay let's move on to Leeds versus Bournemouth Good result for Leeds on the weekend It's good to see Calvert-Lewin scoring. What a header. Yeah, it was a brilliant header actually, yeah. Aye? Yeah. Considering it took a little deflection and he's just old school, bang. He's a top player. If he stays fit, he's got a great signing there. Leeds. Yeah, with Bournemouth, started the season strongly.

25:10Chris Stark: Great manager, isn't he? Yeah. Aurelio, yeah. 10 points from five games. Yep. This is Leeds at home. Yeah. Tough, strong. Tough place to go. Strong. Yeah. and Joe what Leeds Sunderland and Burnley have all got to be looking at this season going we've got a great chance of staying up looking at someone like Wolves and West Ham as well so I think all the home games are going to be key for this but I do like Bournemouth okay you go first this time I am going to go with a Leeds missionary performance 2-1 Leeds win I'm going to go for a Bournemouth missionary 2-1 I'll do it you are worried about the points I can tell yeah I can tell you said you weren't worried at this bit of the season but I've seen I've seen the game you're playing now I'm not worried about the points I'm worried about the forfeit obviously yeah okay I'm going to go Bournemouth oh sad I'm in Leeds later this week as well so I feel I should I'm going to go I'm not I'm going to go Bournemouth 2-0.

26:23Leeds not to score.

26:25Chris Stark: Sadly. Yeah. Okay. All right. Good luck, gentlemen. Let's get into the pod.

26:38Chris Stark: I thought it was interesting doing the free transfers last week. But this week, I wanted to get into loans. Yeah. I like it. It was very beneficial for me. I don't know. if you feel the same. Yeah, of course. I think I ended up doing three loans. One was non-league to Dulwich Hamlet when I was 17. I went to Sweden, 17 as well. And I went to Norwich. And all of them were really beneficial for me. But I think when you look at some of the players like, you know, when Defoe went to Bournemouth, do you remember him on that mad goal-scoring run? Is that a record? Yeah. 10 in 10 or something? 10 in 10.

27:17Chris Stark: Crazy. Scored in every game, didn't he? Yeah. That was some loan move By the way Yeah But you know like Harry Kane He went to like Millwall To Norwich Didn't he Leicester as well Leighton Orient Leighton Orient He had like four loans Before he Kicked on You know I think it's I think it's very beneficial Obviously At the moment We're highlighting Because Grealish Has done so well And he reignited his career And For me personally I went I was at Villa And I struggled to get in Game time And I went on loan to Norwich It just Reignited my career But you're talking from a personal level, from a sort of player level of doing things.

27:54Does it come down to what the intention of the loan is from the club's point of view as well, as to how you feel in those situations? As in, I suppose you could be loaned out to kind of get you more game time to be able to come back a better player. Back stronger. Back stronger. Exactly. But then equally, some loan moves could be because you're not going to be playing at all. and almost that might be what you pick up on it. You're having to go... Do you see what I mean? Different intentions.

28:24Chris Stark: I knew because Graham Taylor signed me at Villa and David O 'Leary came in and didn't fancy me. I knew that straight away. And I was kind of farmed off there. You know what I mean? I think it was like, you're not going to play. Even at a young age? Yeah, I mean, I wasn't... What was I then? 22 maybe? Yeah. But I went there, yeah. So when you were on loan, you weren't alone in the mindset of going I'm doing this to get away from Villa or was it a mindset of going if I actually go on a mad the phone run then sure they've got me going well that was my ultimate goal was to go back to Villa but I ended up winning league with Norwich in the championship and we went up it was brilliant I mean myself Darren Huckabee and Kevin Harper came all at the same time and yeah it was it was quite a big impact we had it was good we all played really well when does going on loan i like the stories where it must surprise you so you go on loan and you're there for one reason it's you know for whatever the manager but you end up sort of falling in love with that club or you you end up achieving something with them like you did and then they sort of become your second team or they surprise you and then later on your career do you then choose to go back to that team just because the experience you had on loan maybe that surprise that you get in some of these situations must be there's something weird about being on loan because you're not you're not settled are you you know like you just go there like i stayed in a hotel the whole time i said even moving to apartment or anything i was just in a hotel felt so weird you know like just being in a hotel for like three months yeah because you're you're a part of it but you're not fully no in like you're but you're giving everything for the club still, but you know at the end of the season or at the end of the three months or month, how long it is, that you're going to go back probably to your parent club.

30:22Sometimes you end up doing signing for that team. Yeah, it's a strange feeling, isn't it? Because you're in there. I think when you go alone when you're young, it's a different mindset because you're going out and it's all new. It's all new. It's all right, I'm going to go out to get first team experience. I'm going to look forward to this. The team experience. what it's going to be like playing on a Saturday at three o 'clock with meaningful points, whether it's washing your own kit and, you know, the whole... But then when that happens in the middle of your career or later in your career, then it can start feeling like a bit derogatory or is this the right thing?

31:02Do you know what I mean?

31:03Chris Stark: Well, going to Dulwich for me, like as a 17-year-old, I'm a big advocate for it because young lads going out and playing rather than sitting in academies and think you're playing big games and you're playing like a North London derby. It's not real football. It's not really a North London derby, is it? I mean, it's not like proper men's football. And I think that genuinely helped me no end, the antidote. But it's funny being like around, when I went to Sweden, like I'd never moved away from home. And all of a sudden I've got a flat and a car that they gave us over there. And I was with one of the lads from Tottenham and we had the time of our lives.

31:39You've said about it. You really have. I often think about your Swedish trip and it wasn't even me it was great isn't it

31:49Chris Stark: it was amazing he stitched me up he's got a girlfriend out there that's no wingman shocking so disappointed in him great trip though did the girlfriend was she a lone girlfriend or did it progress to full time signing No, it was a... It was a low knee? It was a short period, yeah. Because that's an interesting side to the low knees as well, isn't it? Out of postcode, it's... Well, I think so. It's a bit like you're in... It doesn't count. No, I'm not proposing that necessarily since. I just mean more the transient nature to being a low knee, you know? You're not there long. You're there a couple of months.

32:33You're in the new... But you are sort of living there. It's like you're in, but you're not fully.

32:39Chris Stark: I remember going like playing a game winning a game obviously coming back and he's in his bedroom like watching a film with his new missus is this really happening?

32:58Chris Stark: what the earth are you doing? are we not going out? I can't believe it we're out with a load of Swedes that you know didn't really were they yeah You know when you're a lone player, do you do all the same meetings as the rest of the team? Do you get exactly the same insights? You're not... Yeah, you're one of the players, aren't you? When you're in the building, you're fully in. But there's never a feeling that you're going back to another club, so you're sort of kept back from some things. I suppose you can't be a lone and be captain, for example, vice-captain. No. No, that's... I don't know if that's been done before.

33:37Chris Stark: I wonder if that's a good point. I wonder if they look through the record books there. That's ever been done, coming in Captain's side. It's a low need. It's a low need. I suppose if you're a big name, going to a smaller club, maybe it might be seen as a kind of role model. I do think that they was very much like if you came from a big club to a smaller club. It's very much like don't get too big for your boots kind of thing. There was a lot of that, I think, which is good in some ways. Yeah. You learn that when you're younger as well. Yeah. I mean, my first loan move, I went to Brentford. I think I was about 18.

34:13How was that? I loved it. I absolutely loved it. So I went, I never forget. So the phone call happened on the Thursday night. I trained on the Friday at Arsenal. Went in, Liam Brady and I said, you're going to go on loan tomorrow to Brentford. They're playing Bournemouth tomorrow. here's Steve Koppel's number give him a call the contract's been done called Steve Koppel and he said yeah you're going to come on home tomorrow get on this I was 17, 18 he's gone we're leaving Griffin Park at whatever time half eight to go to Bournemouth to play you're not in the squad but I'll need to travel with the team to get used to the players so imagine I've had to turn up at the stadium not met anyone everything not met enough i've got no tracksuit in my own gear not met nobody obviously i'm a young kid these are all seasoned pros so awkward yeah tell me about it so when i got there yeah so i got there i've said this story before i got there i got there early early because i'd never drove to brentford so i got there like eight o 'clock in the morning at sort of drifting off and then at the corner of my eye i see like a bus go past but it was like the team bus but it was like a minivan so again I'm thinking I don't know what these guys travelling so I've rushed out I'm thinking I've missed the team bus now I'm like so I've gone inside to get into the into the stadium Wally Downs who was the assistant manager like he was inside having a shower he was probably on the razzle the night before having a shower and he's going alright kid and he goes I was like yeah I've missed the team bus he was like no no no he said that was the youth team they're going to play wherever Peterborough or somewhere he said we're leaving in a bit so again so now I'm about to sit on the team bus first and all the players come on one by one looking at me, don't know who I am.

36:05I've just been given a track suit. I go to Bournemouth, we win and then I play on the Tuesday night. We left Griffin Park, Brentford Stadium and we picked the manager up on the way to Bournemouth, a service station. I know, so the managers separate? Yes, so managers and players. So yeah, so some managers and players can meet well it's quite common is it you can meet up at a service station if you saw a room do you want to meet

36:32Chris Stark: at a hotel or do you want to meet at training ground quite often say we were playing Man United and we were playing for Stoke a lot of the players lived in Manchester so it's like do you want to meet at the hotel maybe the Mir maybe we meet at the Mir or you can go back to Stoke so quite often most players got off at maybe Knutford right and and then There'd only be like four or five left on the bus to Stoke Training Ground. Yeah. I just thought it was everyone all at once. No, it's quite common that. And the manager, so the manager I would have thought would have to be there the whole time. Well, you think this is what I was hoping for as a young 18-year-old.

37:16But I've got half the team that I've got on, like don't know who I am. I've had to introduce myself. the manager the other half of the team have got on a service station on the way down towards Bournemouth and yeah I was shitting myself they was yeah they was great they was like I was just obviously I've just said I'm on loan and one of them Lloyd Owusu you know Lloyd he's a great guy he took me under his wing to be fair and he was a bit of a big cheese there and it was a young it was a sort of a youngish kind of team mid-twenties good lad so it wasn't but I was nervous I was really nervous but I loved my time there and I loved Brentford I loved it I loved it really really good and again you grow up don't you so again coming out from Arsenal underfloor heating kit washed it was basically there's your kit wash it every day bring it in you know so does a manager treat you differently as a low knee

38:14I think you do feel

38:16Chris Stark: a little bit different don't you a little bit yeah I've actually had a little look at the has anyone been captain while they've been on loan? Has this tickled your brain? It has a little bit, yeah. There's a couple. What about when Bellamy went to Cardiff? Was that a loan? And then did he get the captaincy for that? I'm half tempted to say... Maybe. I've got Jack Colback, Newcastle to Ipswich on loan. All the captains aren't bad. Here's one for you. Yves Van Campo from Real Madrid to Bolton. What's the gift of him? Because he won a loan, I think, first. Connor Cody went on loan to Everton from Wolves.

38:56Chris Stark: Yeah. Captain several times. Yeah, I can see that. Yeah, that's a good one. Mkhitaryan was on loan to Roma, occasionally captain. And Odegaard, when he was at Real Madrid, he went to Vitesse and Ralph Sosiedad. Wow. Next question then. If you're a player in the team, how would you feel? And a loanee comes in and takes captains. What are you saying there? that's parched like times 10 isn't it I think the fact that he's not like in the group as well it just makes him more parched yeah mega parched seriously parched I mean we've discussed this about Odegaard before haven't we yeah but it's a bit parchy I get it if he's a big hitter you know like if it's if it's a big big player that comes in and does it then I get it but yeah I think you're ostracising yourself a little bit from the other players.

39:51It's like a manager doing a, like, bring your own captain. You know, like, you bring your own booze to some restaurant. It's like, he's literally, manager's literally gone around and gone, none of you. I'll just bring my own in. Fair enough. Do you think that is fair enough? I think that's, do you think that's, I would say that that's quite, like, that's quite harsh on a team that's probably quite well established.

40:17Chris Stark: Yeah, no. Yeah, no. It's like there's no leaders amongst them. Yeah. It's probably a bit of a sort of damning indictment as well as a team. I think the best sides have someone who's been there a long, long time as a captain. I think when I was at Southampton, Jason Dodd had been there 100 years. And he knew everything about the club, knew the way it was run, knew everyone there, would welcome you. That kind of thing. I think it's always better if it's someone who's been there a long time Did you ever have a discussion with going back to Norwich out of interest? Yeah, because they came up it was one of those to go there but I ended up staying at Villa and my players actually did alright that season I got back in the side playing a few games I ended up having to move to Southampton but I kind of did want to do it I think they ended up signing Dean Ashton Oh, yeah, from crew.

41:15Chris Stark: He did well for them, yeah. Yeah. But, yeah, it was definitely, because Huckabee signed permanently, and he's, you know, a bit of a ledge down there. Did the only other time you'd have gone on loan would have been Burnley? That's a good point, yeah. Did you go on loans Burnley or did you sign? Well, you signed for them. I actually signed, yeah. Right. But it was a six-month deal, because I went in January from Stoke. it was only towards the end of the season so Burnley felt like a loan yeah that's what I mean that's an interesting position isn't it especially in January yeah yeah but you didn't know it was going to be am I misremembering this you didn't know it was just going to be that time like you it was a mutual agreement but yeah but I wanted to go you could have stayed on yeah I think I could have but I ended up retiring at the end of the season that's what I mean so it's a different mindset yeah yeah you're trying to enjoy the last can't remember all you were saying it was a bit toxic there at Stoke it wasn't great we got relegated we were in the championship wasn't a great dressing room went to Burnley it was the exact opposite it was like a really good dressing room it was in the Premier League I didn't play a lot but it was a good buzz to finish it was a proper buzz I remember when that was announced that was such a good time I remember when you said you were going there it was it was class it was such a laugh wasn't it it was brilliant of course you're still doing the podcast we did it in my room in the Northcote it was so fun mate it was so fun and it was just great seeing you back in you know back in the it was just wicked the whole feel about it all well that's the mad thing isn't it because like that's that's a loan move that's gone well for both parties really but then you get loan moves that just go horribly wrong don't you like if you actually think about it you can't you can't really get a loan move wrong really should you really I'll ask it down to the player if they play but if clubs do their due diligence on the player the player obviously wants to go to that club it should it should be a match the worst thing is if you take a drop down and don't you don't play that can leave you in a real sticky situation because you're expected to you know when I went on loan to Dulwich Hamlet like I think I only scored I didn't score that many goals but you're expected to rip it up right That's non-league.

43:43Chris Stark: I'm trying to play for Tottenham. You expect to go there and do what Defoe did. So, yeah, I did okay, but I was like, fucking hell. It's even worse if you go on loan to play and don't end up playing. Some managers as well with loans, they have special relationships with clubs. So at Watford, for example, there was a period of time where we got quite a lot from United. Yes. Danny Webber, Tom Cleverley, Jimmy Davis, rest his soul. I always find that interesting as well, that you have these managers who have preferred choices for where they send loan players. I guess on the assumption that that's coming from the kind of place where you're almost the right word, I think, farming them out to come back better players for your own squad.

44:32So you trust the set up. So you have a good relationship with a manager. The communication's good. They're not just throwing you out somewhere and just see how you get on. I think that's how it must be. Yeah, I think originally when it come down to it, the loan system would always be, they would put you somewhere that plays similar to what the team planned at the time. So I'm assuming Watford at the time were probably playing similar kind of formations or football or attractive football than was what United were doing. Well, the mad thing was we had a few loanees that obviously made our team so much better, but we're a great team of loanees in themselves.

45:13Because in amongst those two, you had Lansbury, Jermaine Pennant, Helgeson was full-time at Watford, to be fair. But interesting when you have that many players that have been brought into the club.

45:28Chris Stark: If you think about a player like... Making a team of themselves. ...that went out and went on loan. You know, like David Beckham went to Preston, didn't he? Yeah. Rio was at Bournemouth. There's so many players that went out and you don't even remember them being there. No. Or you only remember their last one. So for instance, a lot of people go, Conor Gallagher, Crystal Palace. Yeah. I remember going along to Cholton before that. He had two or three. Tammy Abraham went to Swansea, Bristol City. He ripped it up at Bristol City. And then he had a belt at Villa, didn't he? That's it. They only see the last one.

46:04I mean it's all it's all of the learning it's all the like the journey it's all part of the journey basically but you only ever see the last one Jesse Lingard

46:12Chris Stark: went to West Ham he absolutely tore it up I always thought he should have signed at West Ham yeah he ended up going to Forest didn't he not working out I think he was more financial yeah but I just think you know when you do so well at a club like that fans love you you kind of got back in the England squad and stuff didn't he yeah sometimes it's when you watch old games that you know some of your favourite games most memorable games and you see the lineups again and you haven't seen them for a long time and you spot some of those players that were on the bench they're often the ones you mentioned one earlier Harry Kane Harry Kane at Leicester on the bench against Watford in that playoff semi-final wasn't Harry Kane Vardy and Kane on the bench for Leicester I don't know where for that there's a picture of them sitting next to each other you think about why didn't you bring them on isn't it crazy though eh so 350 Premier League goals between them that is actually mad when you think about it isn't it yeah there's been some mad but Joe one I thought of the other day sorry this morning it was Henrik Larson do you remember he went to United United on loan yeah I played against him that's a mad one well that's a mad loan like Falcao did Chelsea and United oh my god that's a strange one isn't it yeah yeah David Becker went to Preston so Falco's spell both those clubs were was loaned yeah was loaned was it yeah I remember him more at Chelsea I don't remember him at United at all I don't remember at United at all was you there with Michael Owen I was there yeah he came to Stoke didn't play I think he was shell-shocked did he not play at all Really What was up in there then Was that Tony Pulis Yeah Yeah It didn't It didn't It didn't go well for him It's a shame Because I think he retired You think about the career he's had I think You know It's a shame He retired That's stoke really But It didn't work out for him When I was at Fulham We had We had Gal Kakute Do you remember Gal Kakute From Chelsea Yeah yeah Youngster He'd come on loan I think Frimpong come on loan from Arsenal and then we had Ida Good Johnson as well he comes to Tottenham on loan when I was there yeah how good he's brilliant Tottenham got him really well with Ida I love Ida I like him as well yeah but it's right when you get like a little bunch of misfits that come together yeah they just kind of blend in that's what I mean it just makes it work I thought it was quite cool that sometimes you think of loan players just in isolation ones and twos and that but then when they actually form quite a good team of mercenaries, I guess.

49:01Chris Stark: Yeah, like, quite cool. When I went to Norwich, obviously, myself, Kevin Harper and Darren Huckabee, like, we were all in the same hotel together, so we'd, like, going out, we just became a little, like, trio. And I'd be like, I think Darren Huckabee might have moved into an apartment quite quickly, but myself and Kevin Harper were constantly down and having dinner in the hotel. It's like a little, like, married couple. Do you know what I mean? You're bonded by your sort of... Yeah, loan. Loaned experience to a town. Some random town that we didn't have a clue. But I was so bored. I was going on random drives.

49:37Chris Stark: I went to Great Yarmouth once for no reason. On my own. I was going, I'm going to go for a drive. I've heard a new Great Yarmouth was by the sea. I went there and I parked. Didn't even get out of the car. Just looked at the sea for a little bit and I drove back. Just to say that you've been there. seriously I did I did that mental oh my god I remember doing that around around the Belfry when I was at Villa as well so I was so new to it I went to Villa and I lived in the Belfry for three months because they said you've got a three month period and then you get an apartment right but I was that stupid I just stayed in a hotel for three months I didn't think about getting a place well I've got to stay there for three months yeah because obviously it was the maximum of three months.

50:25Chris Stark: That's right. People move out, you know, in a few days. I did the whole three months. You took full liability. Ridiculous. I was having roast dinners every day. Roast dinner, like a carvery buffet, you know, in about every day. Yeah. What was I doing? It's strange to live in a hotel for that period of time. It's quite Alan Partridge, but just on another level, isn't it? I remember when I, when I signed there, they gave me this room overlooking the, one of the greens. at Velfry with a roof terrace. It was phenomenal, right? And then once I'd sigh and they'd put me in a broom cupboard, I'm not joking, it was, you couldn't swing a cat in there.

51:04Chris Stark: Well, I certainly couldn't. Honestly. They actually moved you rooms. Yeah, moved me. Right. The ink's dried. Get him out. That's great. But I stayed so strong, didn't, I didn't budge. Stayed in Velfry. Worst thing is, didn't pick up a golf club for three months. yeah that's the three courses the range yeah like no interest the Ryder Cup was at the Belfry and they said to me do you want you've got to go out because the player's going to stay do you want tickets for it I said nah you alright I might drive to Great Yarmouth instead

51:44Chris Stark: how mad is that it's the one where I think it was McGinley jumped in in the was it McGinley Darren Clark maybe jumped in the in the lake It was that one, Belfry, like 2002 or something. And I didn't go. I was bored, single, didn't play golf and didn't watch the Ryder Cup. Who was I? Someone that's driving the great armour. That is a confused young man there, isn't it? Weird character. That's fucking hell. But it shows you how different you are. Yeah, you're finding out about yourself. Yeah. In every way. Yeah. Weird. I was focused on the football, like, fully. but yeah bizarre just eating roast dinners and not playing golf fuck strange man do you know what the bizarre the bizarre loan moves are that I get you know someone that's on like the equivalent let's just say Wainbridge when he went to Brighton I think let's say I don't know what his wages was but let's say he was on a hundred grand a week at Man City wasn't playing they went to him out he's gone to Brighton he was in the championship and I think they they end up paying I think£5 ,000 of his wages and Man City of Pan obviously the other chunk of it they're the mad ones that I can't get my head around sometimes them loan moves the split arrangements between the two clubs on the money yeah yeah because the player just obviously the player just it's one of the ones where it's so toxic where they just want to get the player out they go you can't even be around you know it's probably a little bit like Raheem Sterling is here at the minute at Chelsea you know he's not even involved he should probably try and get out on loan but he can't get out alone because no one's probably willing to touch his wages and Chelsea don't want to take a drop but there's got to be a bit of give somewhere they're the mad ones where someone's gone alone to somewhere to play but they're not even taking a hit they're just taking the club's taking a massive hit yeah yeah yeah just wanting them out the door yeah did you have any did you have any loan moves where a player went on to be big like when they was younger oh someone who came so someone come on over at Stoke and then went on to be I had Ficaro Tomori the Chelsea he's on AC Milan now he came along to Brighton when he was a young star it was outstanding was it really really good yeah and was only with you for what a season a season yeah yeah and I think I think he was only young and at the end of that season because we went up the chairman took us to Vegas and he was under 21 he could have still come but because he couldn't do the casinos and the clubs he didn't he didn't end up going bit of a blow that isn't it yeah supply but I mean on the other end of things you're driving a great Yarmouth and on the other hand you know it's it's not all good being under 21 or it's a strange one that isn't it yeah strange character you actually can't believe when you actually dissect it you're like what was I doing then it's the same with me and Ab when we think about our wedding stuff like that like who were we then yeah do you know what I mean I walked into the dinner to Nicki Minaj.

54:49Did you?

54:50Chris Stark: Yeah. Moment for life. I wish that I could have this problem. Who the fuck am I? Who was that? I haven't listened to Nicki Minaj before or since. Hold on, you walked down, do you mean like down the aisle? Into your dinner? No, into the dinner. Oh, into the dinner? Yeah. What, you and Ab's walked in? Yeah. What the fuck was that about? I reckon everyone, I reckon my dad was like, what the fuck is this thing? You would have been well into it as well. Yeah, I was buzzing for it, yeah. what an imbecile you've had the gun so yeah I've given it all that what was your first dance sometimes you can't make it on your own yeah you too you too cracker absolute cracker underrated that song love it love it what was yours mine was Lufa Van Dross it was never too much no never too much it was Lufa Van Dross and Mariah Carey what one was it Is it My Love?

55:46My love You're only in it A bit more, Sid

55:51Chris Stark: Give us a little bit more, son You're only in the day My first love Oh, yeah My first love Endless love No, not Luther, Van Dros and Mariah That can't be right Is it not Luther? Lionel Richie? Yeah Endless love My endless love Endless love I think, yeah I think the one we might have done was Unbelievable vocals Incredible vocals What was yours? Elton John Your son Got him with this Had to be Had to be How have we gotten to this? No no no Hang on I do want to get this right though Is it Lionel Richie? I thought it was Luther Van I think they'd done a remit I think it's Lionel Richie Is it? And was it Mariah Carey?

56:40I mean Mariah Carey I'm sure it's Luther Van der Ross Look at that There we go So Lufo Did they cover it? Yeah they covered it yeah That's so cool I bet that's good I don't think it was my decision It's another podcast song To add to our playlist So good How does it start again? My first love There's only you In my life Did you sing it to each other? Nah we were really young when we got married like look back pictures now we were kids we was 22 yeah but Old Souls if that's your song yeah yeah I wouldn't pick it now yeah that's what I'm saying different people yeah but what did you do for the renewal did you do another first song or did you do that one so might you choose a different song oh yeah for sure alright let us know what you want people just drop us an email peter.crouch at acos.com

57:39Chris Stark: what song should he pick Endless love Okay Alright lads Well last I think that's Loans sorted Yeah Enjoyable going back Through those periods This kind of Periods that I've not forgot But It's nice to go back And revisit them you know No it is And when you say about Loans going well Isn't it great When it works out I remember It wasn't that long ago Sid was on loan To this podcast Yeah It was a strong loan period Didn't he The crowd loved him Yeah He really got it and I think you fell in love with the club as well and then before you know it it's a long term basis well I'm not resting on my laurels I'm treating every every no every episode it comes yeah you're totally in now don't think you can do it I mean when you've like when you've been come from on loan you still need to just have respect as long as you don't become captain that's the main thing I mean I've sat in the chair

58:39it's me having respect I'm sat in a chair it is now

58:44Chris Stark: alright let's do some messages

58:49Chris Stark: right let's get into some messages lads I've got this one here I took a screenshot of it because I got an email back from Gary Knight and he he's at Etsy giraffe and custard you heard of this no I don't know anyway he works for the basically do you remember Fanny Fart Lane oh yeah can we forget Sorry, now you make sense. Well, obviously, I went to buy a road sign from Etsy. I just got a lovely email from Gary here. Thanks for the order. I've seen you've requested it. I would say it. I've seen you've requested it for Paddy Park Lane. It's the main text. No, not even bothered about that. He just says, I also need something for the postcode area and the red text at the bottom.

59:38Chris Stark: Without a sign, it will look incomplete. regards Gary so kind regards to Gary he totally ignored the fact I went for Fanny Park Lane there's two things on this that I want to clear up one is do you think he did that come through like your personal yeah it was my name yeah right so do you actually think he's gone is this the real Pete Crouch I need to get to the bottom maybe to see if this is legit but then you'd ask wouldn't you or you'd say like was he trying to be half professional He's been professional because he's totally ignored the fact that... He wants five-star rating. He's completely ignored the fact that it's Peter Crouchy, man.

1:00:17And secondly, that Peter Crouchy is requesting Fanny Farlane. He's done this with utter discretion.

1:00:25Chris Stark: Total discretion. So I said, please, can you put W1 on it? I don't know. I just thought of both shows. I just put W1 on it. Yeah, he basically said, it's not gone through this time. I was too late on the reply. So unfortunately, I haven't got the sign. so Fanny Fart Lane's off it's off for the moment if you want it I'll try and revisit it yeah you can do or if you happen to be someone who works in a company that makes road signs and can get us a Fanny Fart Lane to be fair if you're going to have a postcode get number four now for the fourth official it should be down the corner and we can put it up in here look we've got loads of them yeah true put it up in the bar R4 yeah R4 yeah yeah yeah yeah well if someone can make money that'd be great oh yeah we do ask a lot of you guys listening but um yeah if you can make a road sign for fanny farlay it'd be much appreciated i can't remember either got an email here from christian uh says on your free agent podcast and work related issues uh i just want to let you guys know this is something i'm currently facing I'm a quantity surveyor for a resin flooring company I was at one of the big boys one of the top four I was there five years worked my way up and then left to go to a smaller firm championship level everyone thought I was mental for going but I've done a great job in the 18 months I've been there I recently got contacted by my former employer to come back on a higher salary because they've seen the work I've been doing I'm now in a better position to negotiate a better contract.

1:02:04Do I stick or twist? Kind of what we've been talking about today, being a lone player. He's taken a gamble. He's gone and put himself out. Maybe a slightly smaller team, absolutely smashing it out, this resin company. But naturally then, big ones are sniffing around.

1:02:20Chris Stark: We've been inundated with these, by the way. People put themselves in football scenarios in a normal work. It's great. I love it. What he wants to know, should he stick or twist? Should he stick with the smaller club that he's smashing it? So let's say he's at a championship level club, but he's a big fish. This guy's absolutely smashing it. Or there's no interest from above, but I still don't think they'll... I don't know, because they say never go back, right? But I remember I was at Tottenham for a youth team, never made a first two appearance. You know, they couldn't get noticed. Went out, played, you know, went down maybe a couple of levels, back up, end up back at Spurs.

1:03:00Chris Stark: And it went really well for me. Yeah, but do you suggest this person, do you suggest this person, okay, maybe looks at the higher team, but goes back, but always be suspicious of them and aim to go even higher than them. Get top three. I disagree at the minute with Crouchy. I say, he's only been there 18 months. Yeah. Ride the wave. Your stock's high. Go again. You might not get another chance though, Sid. When a big club comes in for you, I think... Top four resin companies, Sid. It's top four. you can't turn your nose at that there's me saying I went to Chelsea when I was at Reading but then you look at say a Jack Grealish situation and go you could be a legend at your say top 10 resin company or or you could yes you can get some more money but money's not everything what about the pride you're at Man City and you know people aren't putting you in the same regard what's his company I'm having my driveway done in a minute I wouldn't lose them they're not top 4 always get in touch if you're in a kind of work or relationship situation or something like that that can be talked about in football terms yeah yeah we love them okay I got a message here it says I was listening with joy to the last pod and he discussed the French road with a particularly filthy translation in English it's the one we've just discussed well check this bute out from the village of Ludford in Lincolnshire huge fan of the pod better than the other one Crouchy regards to your family that's Graham from Lincoln oh amazing wow okay this is fanny hands lane fanny hands fanny hands lane what are fanny hands in any context yeah I don't know fanny hands I mean that could be anything fanny hands what is that it could be what are you imagining well it could be the excess baggage oh I'm just I'm real I'm just saying that's what I'm thinking the thing is what's so great about English road names is obviously they're much better than the American ones like when you say like 43rd Street and you know on the corner of 52 you know Fanny Hans Lane you don't get that in America do you know what I mean like there's usually a history behind it like what do you know what I mean who's Fanny Fanny will be a person won't be in this one it's not what you it's not what Sid it's Fanny Fanny Fanny would have been a big business around there I reckon do we know what town this is so Fanny's Ludlow no yeah Lincoln yeah yeah it's one of those like you know when you're putting it in when you have to say your address it's like it must be so difficult look just say it quickly watch your address it's number four Fanny Hands Lane

1:06:00hold on a minute no because more often now you have to put your postcode in first when you're on the phone they go put your postcode they go wherever it is and they say is that Fanny Hands Lane you go that's the one yeah so that's perfect

1:06:15Chris Stark: I don't mind that because then they have to say I think Fanny Hands Lane for some reason is better than just straight up Fanny or anything it's just like it really throws you the hands part That part is insane. It's just, have you seen that app that what three words or whatever it is to give you a location? It's genius, right? So have you seen this, Sid? So it's an app where, let's say we want to meet each other and you're on the other side of town. You can go on the app and it will give you three words and that will pinpoint to the nearest, I don't know what it is, like five metres or something like that, where you are.

1:06:50but you these three words vary across the whole of the world i think it is at least the uk but i think it's the world i'm totally lost so if i said to you oh god how do i explain this so if i say to you um pete um i'm on the other side of town you go i can't find where you are i can give you three words that you put into an app and it will bring you to me to like a meter around what words would you give them? So it could be any...

1:07:20Chris Stark: We've got a sign to already. They gave us more three words to sign. Nice. What?

1:07:28Look at that. So, so them three words at the bottom there. Well, don't say where we are.

1:07:38Chris Stark: It's fucking mental though. Is it?

1:07:44Chris Stark: Apology. That's why I didn't say. Yeah, but I, I just don't believe believe that's true if this ever stays in beep out one of them words just see it for beep them all out i think shit so them three words there are just purely for this location this little few meters that we're here and then every bit of the uk is mapped out because if you think about it you can have all these different combinations of words so the idea is if you're lost somewhere so let's say you're up a mountain it's hard to get that exact location where how do you describe where you are like it's i'm stuck i'm up a fucking mountain but then you say you know uh

1:08:29that's exactly it oh i love when i tell you boys tech stuff that you haven't heard is you need the app it's good because it it it's sometimes hard with sat navs and things like to say well this is where i am but this app just you go on it and it tells you exactly where you ask you can say it to someone else they put it in the app and they'll come to that point okay

1:08:50Chris Stark: interesting that it's interesting i had no no clue about that good evening regards to your families i don't know if emailing the pod or messaging uh is best but my wife is nearly 40 weeks pregnant with our second and i've torn my achilles so no driving she's fucking fuming so with that in mind would you be happy to ask the lads their funniest injuries they've had in their careers this was a DM I got. I also had the pleasure of watching Crouchy get an England hat trick. I also had the pleasure of being in the stand when he smashed that pen over in the same game. That's from Rob. I'm so close to getting a compliment there.

1:09:29He's got a great name. He's called Rob Tip Lady. Tip Lady? Yeah. Which sounds like a what three words thing, doesn't it? Rob Tip Lady. So yeah, so look, he's torn his Achilles. Bad time to get that injury. with the pregnancy drive coming up. But yeah, sort of biggest injuries that... Yeah. What about his, what about like Rob Tiplady here? What's the one injury you got that had the biggest effect on life outside of football?

1:10:07Pete?

1:10:11I remember, well, my biggest one was when I did my spinal surgery, which obviously I had to finish with football. But I remember once...

1:10:25This message is brought to you by Cologuard. If you recorded songs off the radio for a mixtape, it might be time to screen for colon cancer. The Cologuard test is non-invasive, requires no special prep or time off, and you start screening right from your home. It's just three simple steps. Set up, sample, and ship. If you're 45 or older and at average risk, ask your doctor about the Cologuard test. Available by prescription only. Learn more or request a prescription at colaguard.com slash podcast. Do you remember in the championship? I don't know if they still do it now. I don't think they do.

1:11:00Do you remember they used to play the games on a Saturday? Is it the bank holiday? Saturday and Monday. Is it in April maybe? I remember being at Reading and we played on a Saturday and it was someone's birthday on a Sunday at my mum's house or my cousins or someone. Lovely summers that Easter weekend, Sunday was out. Bouncy Castle. I got on the Bouncy Castle mucking around, tweaked my knee. Had a game on the Monday. Right? And I was like, not bad, but still played. Anyway, we played, went to a tackle, done my knee bad. Was going to come off at half time, got into the dressing room. Dave Gitson come off with concussion Kevin Doyle come off something else and someone else three subs were made Gaffer came in and said you can't come off you've got to stay on I had to tape my knee up played the rest of the game should never have played I was out for the next like 10 games to have done like a whatever it was grade one or two or partial tear of the that would be such a good build I've never been on back on Bouncy Castle no I've not well let's let's let's let's make that happen

1:12:10Chris Stark: yeah Can we get one outside here? We need to get him back on a bouncy castle. One more bouncy. You know what I was doing? George, look at him up. You don't know what you're missing. Do you know what I was doing as well? I was on a bouncy castle and I was in goal. And everyone was at the bottom of the garden smashing balls and I was diving around. You're hilarious. Have you seen that clip of that lady on this morning who's afraid of snowmen? And then the snowman comes out and she's like, Cracker Have you seen that? Oh you guys That's SIDS with bouncy curses Let's get him on this morning To talk about this phobia Have you got a phobia Of bouncy curses?

1:12:52I haven't got a phobia I mean if I see one I just walk straight past it I don't go on it But you won't look at it

1:12:57Chris Stark: Will you? If the kids are on there I don't watch them

1:13:02Chris Stark: I'm telling you You've got to see this To believe it If you haven't seen The snowman woman On this morning get out there if we've got to play if you're listening to this on YouTube we've got to play this one out here she is have you not seen this I've not seen that I mean obviously phobias are phobias oh sorry yeah

1:13:24obviously it's terrible but just to make you feel better about having a niche phobia about bouncy cars watch

1:13:35Chris Stark: no give us some volume is there any volume it's the way they close the curtains look how scary she is yeah it's not it's not easy oh no look oh she genuinely is really worried it's good to face your fears like it's I think the only reason we're laughing is obviously it's ridiculous to be fair I mean like to be fair if you if you add a band to castle there I'll be like I think if you decide it's a shame they're not together because we could book Eamon and Ruth and recreate this but we're sitting and bound to castle behind the curtain let's let's recreate this moment I'll be aiming you can be rude or recreate it alright great alright that's on the to do list bit of sport this weekend to be fair um Ryder Cup Ryder Cup can't wait for that I've actually got a game of golf on a Sunday and then I'm going to watch it oh nice that's great that's immersive it's immersive yeah I feel like I'm involved yeah that's that's good I might barbecue as much of the weekend as possible just have it on I've been getting into the NFL a little bit this year have you seen it yeah it's not normally my vibe but I've been watching it a bit I can't get my head around it's the kickers coming on and just then kick it and go sit back down again it's mad that that's their only job isn't it yeah it is yeah that would be like you being brought on just to kick a ball once or head it that was happening towards the end of my career to be honest I was brought on for five minutes just to try and hit it is that what happens there's a I don't really watch NFL there's a position where if they get a kick they can someone just comes on kicks it and they just ping it over yeah Clive Allen did that I think towards the end of his career yeah but when we were at Farnham recently you you were trying to get the crossbar to be fair you didn't even really practice it and of the three of the shots like inches away which makes me think if that was your only job you'd probably be alright at that I'd back myself I don't think anyone could do that do you think?

1:15:43I think so alright

1:15:46Chris Stark: hopefully there's no snowmen and bouncy casters on the way home for you Sid go safe enjoy the Ryder Cup yes yes and Oasis on Saturday I'm hearing rumours you're going for a third time. I am going to go, yeah. Three times. Three times, yeah. First time for you, Sid? I can't wait. Yeah, first time. Yes. I can't wait. All right. Enjoy it by being disciplined. Missed the discipline. Back stronger, regards to your families.

1:16:28This message is brought to you by Colaguard. If you recorded songs off the radio for a mixtape, it might be time to screen for colon cancer. The Cologuard test is non-invasive, requires no special prep or time off, and you start screening right from your home. It's just three simple steps, set up, sample, and ship. If you're 45 or older and at average risk, ask your doctor about the Cologuard test, available by prescription only. Learn more or request a prescription at colaguard.com slash podcast.