The WORST Away Ends in Football & Crouch’s Forfeit REVEALED!

0:00Chris Stark: Hello and welcome to that Peter Crouch podcast with me, Peter Crouch, Notorious S.I.D. and obviously Chris Stark with me. As usual, it's been a while since we've done this one, boys.

0:13It's bringing back very happy memories of COVID times during the podcast. Yeah, we're all remote. The Crouchy's on holiday. Where are you, Sid? You at home? I'm at home, but if you could see behind my camera, you'd think I'm in a murder scene. I'm literally about to move house. I've got sheets up. I've got things being covered. I've got a vacuum over there. I've got disinfectant over there. The TV's off the wall here. Yeah, it's a bomb sight in here. Not good. Not good.

0:47Chris Stark: It feels like it's tough times for the podcast at the moment because obviously these pink headphones were on last week's episode and I got a lot of grief. I got a little bit of grief for them. And the shout was, surely the pod that's been going for a few years now, they can afford some headphones. So Crouchy doesn't have to use his daughters. But unfortunately, they work and they're out here and they look great, I think. Yeah, I think they look great. But it's a different pair of headphones every time. That's the funny thing. It's always your daughters. but a different pair every time. So rocking the pink one today should start with, so I've got to start with an apology really.

1:31We're a bit late starting today. I'm at home as well. So I've had a nightmare. I've had a proper sort of parents' summer holiday nightmare here. My wife's in hospital, right? Cut her finger on a fucking avocado.

1:47Chris Stark: Hold on, hold on. Surely a knife. The knife cutting the avocado. You can't cut yourself an avocado, surely. Yeah, it's a technicality, but it's a very important one. You're right. For reasons I don't... And do you know what? I've got the blame for it because I've got these new knives and they're sharp. The knives are too sharp, apparently. Get this. I'm not even joking. Crouchy, she's in hospital at the moment. She's gone to cut the stone or something. Anyway, mate, next thing she's shouting, Chris, come in. There's blood everywhere. Honestly, I've had a shocker of a day so far. So apologies for being late.

2:28She's in hospital. Obviously, I didn't want to miss the pod. So I stayed at home to do this.

2:34Chris Stark: Is she all right? It's not a serious injury. She's fine. She says she can't feel her finger. So I don't know, really. We'll see. All going to plan, they'll just stitch it up, won't they? And she'll be on her way again. but it's just, I've got the kids here, they'll be sort of turning up at some point, I'm sure. I've tried to kind of put them next door. And then we've got like, we've moved house as well, Sid. We've got a load of beds arriving in the next 20 minutes or so. I just want to apologise now for the state of this podcast. And I'm going to be back stronger. And we will get back to normal, properly before too long but you know there's just stuff going on there's a lot going on just a quick one just a quick one sorry before we talk about state of this podcast just quickly pete when you logged on um you had you had of the pink headphones on you had no shirt on and uh you had a pair of swim shorts on so i just want to know what is more red or pink them headphones your chest or them swim shorts to be fair I was an entirely pink outfit my grid my headphones my chest and my swimming shorts incredible soon anyway it's a lot of pink going on yeah you're all good I'm loving it I'm absolutely loving it Chris I saw I saw recently you vibing at the big festival yeah I was I was DJing at the big festival in fact I'll tell you what I was doing I was sort of hosting the main stage.

4:11It's this festival in the Cotswolds. I've been down there. Yeah, it's good fun. It's Alex James' festival. So I'd never met him before. But this festival's in his garden, mate. I thought your gas was big. This is another level.

4:27Chris Stark: It's outrageous. It's unbelievable, isn't it? I remember going there once, yeah. And it's, yeah, in his back garden. It's like a big farm, isn't it? Huge farm. It was amazing. There was obviously so many people who listened to this podcast who came over and said hello, which was great. But I was hosting all day. And the problem with that is by the time you have a few beers, it's dangerous being able to have a microphone after sort of like eight hours of drinking. But yeah, very good fun. Everyone was asking about you boys. A lot of people coming over to talk about the podcast. does remind me we do need to get involved in a festival with the podcast there is a demand for it yeah it certainly is agree agree we'll look into that won't we Crouchy we'll make that happen we'll make that happen the wheels are in motion

5:24Chris Stark: alright lads shall we get into into our league bit of a horny draw this weekend it was 1-1-1 Correct results We had Bournemouth to win You had Bournemouth to win Chris And so did you Sid Useless in the other games As by usual We expected Villa to beat Brentford And we all expected City to beat Spurs But congratulations to Spurs I thought they were fantastic Deserved Very, very well deserved I think the way that City come out on that first day I know that it was a bit of a tight game We were expecting goals but fair play for Spurs. They went toe-to-toe, didn't they? They pressed them high, set the backs coming in.

6:09Yeah, and they deserved it. They deserved it. I don't want to get too excited for Spurs, but they've got to do, obviously, better than last year. But I don't. If they keep this up, they could be there or thereabouts. I thought Villa would have done better against Brentford, to be fair, but a massive result for Brentford. Keith Andrews needed that as well. So, yeah, Crouchy is still in the lead. He's got a nice, healthy lead at the moment.

6:35Chris Stark: Yeah, just on this, because we've started a new league now and I haven't done a forfeit. Obviously, I was bottom of it last year. Developments are, we've had confirmation from Farnham Town FC that we will be able to provide Crouchy with a full mascot match day experience. So good. It will occur on September the 6th at Farnham's home ground ahead of their clash with Schoeling FC. Crouchy will take your part in some pre-match meet and greets. He will walk out with a player, a halftime show and dinner with the other mascots. Great. Great, great, great. So pleased we can make this happen. So, yeah, the forfeit is going to be that you are going to be a mascot for the day.

7:27It's just brilliant on so many levels. And Farnham Town have agreed to get right behind this. Also, you know, that's quite a big crowd. I was amazed that a team of this level were willing to let us do this.

7:44Chris Stark: Yeah, it is a big crowd. But not just that. So are you telling me I'm going to have to run out with the players, like holding the players' hand? Yeah. Yeah, but wait there though. Let's rewind a bit because you're going to have to be there. this is a proper match day experience so um for one you've got to be wearing the kit for one full kit as well okay and then you've got to get there before kickoff and get um signatures of the players because that's what mascots do yeah and then you're just gonna go have a bit of lunch um pre pre-match lunch with the other mascot kids um and then like 10 year olds i've got lunch 10 years old yeah yeah yeah and then have a little kickabout on the pitch with these mascots and then you've got to walk out with one of the players I mean what a day that's going to be this is brilliant it's every football fan's dream and you're going to get to live it it's going to be great my only issue is I'm 6 foot 7 and I imagine the other kids are around 4 foot 4 foot you know 4 and a half either way the reason we wanted to give all the details on the podcast is if anyone is keen to witness this live like do come along it is going to be awesome and you've got to really embrace it you know what i mean like kids this is every kid's dream what you're getting to do

9:14you know you you really make sure that you enjoy it on behalf of you know on behalf of the kids and also it's a great place to go and watch football

9:24Chris Stark: yeah to go and watch not to not to go out and have a kickabout with nine year olds you deserve it you deserve it this is what happens it's going to be so good well I don't know whose hand you're going to be holding on the way out but I'm assuming they're shorter than you so it's it's just going to the whole thing's going to be great alright okay alright it's what it is you're going to make a player look like a mascot. This is the crazy thing.

9:59The poor player. What player, by the way, is going to come out, right, focused, ready to play? Peter Crouch has stood there with his hand out.

10:11Chris Stark: I hope they'll be well briefed on this, because it's just, it's not ideal, is it? It's great. It's going to be awesome. It's going to be awesome. All right. So it's Farnham Town. What day is it? September the 6th. September the 6th. Yeah. Great. Great. We'll be there as well. Won't we, Sid? Oh, 100%. Beer in hand. It's a good place to go down there. It's good food, good football. We'll grab a few beers and watch Pete enjoy himself. Yeah. Like proud parents. That's what we'll do, Sid. That's it. It'll be great. Yeah. I appreciate that it's fucking out it's just it's dawned on me actually what's about to happen Jack Greenish is back good to see him back I have to say you know we love him on the pod here great great lad and good to see him back amongst the assists and look like he's enjoying himself again yeah yeah I love Jack we all love Jack and And yeah, good platform for him to go.

11:21Showcase it all. Big World Cup coming up end of the year. Let's hope he can get back in the fold for that. But I think the Meverton fans are going to love him. I love watching him play. Yeah, brilliant. Brilliant for Jack.

11:34Chris Stark: Yeah, good to see him back. And yeah, the Liverpool-Newcastle game was unbelievable. Did you watch that? Oh my God. It was so good, man. So good. What a finish. What a great goal that was, the last one. Unreal. at least for the kid as well. 16 years old? What buzz? Yeah, 16, yeah. 16, yeah. What buzz? Imagine coming on in a game of that magnitude and scoring your first Premier League goal. An exciting game. And also, just before that Liverpool goal, though, Newcastle were still attacking. It was 10 minutes. They could have at that point. There was a couple of examples where they could have just put it into the corner, like run down the clock a bit.

12:22Bear in mind, they're 10 men. And the way they carried on attacking, trying to win the game, I just thought it was brilliant. And as much as obviously Liverpool take them three points, I just thought it said a lot about Newcastle and how they're going to come at it this season. that they get those goals back and still go on to try and win the game, you know, with less players as well. I thought it just said a lot about Eddie Howe and what he's doing there. Yeah, that's what he does though. You know, Liverpool scored against the run of play. They was at it. When they lost the ball, Newcastle players, they was getting the ball back because they're trying to get it back as quickly as they can.

13:07The energy levels were high and that game always just brings up entertainment towards the end. You always knew there was going to be a chance at 2-2. You knew it was going to be a chance. And Crouchy, what a finish because when Sir Bozlight does the over and when that ball's coming towards him, in real time, it's obviously a second. But in his mind, that is like 10 seconds. And it's so easy to just put that one over the bar or wide or at the keeper or be a bit safe. He's just slotted it in the far corner. What a finish.

13:38Chris Stark: Brilliant. The kids, these kids now, like, they haven't got, they haven't got any fear. When I see them coming through now, like, Max Dalman obviously came on Arsenal, didn't he? Like, was he 15, 16 years old? Like, it's just taking the ball, just going past people. Like, it's, you know, Rio the same, like, like, just no nerves, it feels like. Unbelievable, to be fair. It's great to see. Yeah, just on that as well, that Max Dalman, that was, that was great to see and that was the player that you boys had told me about him a few months ago and said he was the you know the one to watch the next one coming through for him to get his debut and get that almost out the way it really does feel like from what everyone is saying sort of mirrors what you boys had said to me a few months ago that he he potentially is something just very very special but with that comes expectations I guess yeah it does but you know there's a buzz around the Emirates like already when he's on the ball like the kids the kids I don't think I don't think he's even 16 yet is he?

14:46Chris Stark: 15, 16? Like insane really you know he's getting assists and going past people like they're not there he's going to be a serious serious player Yeah I think I might have said it before he's on that conveyor belt of Paul Gascoigne Joe Cole Wayne Rooney like you know when you heard about that player long before you see him like we all knew Joe Cole was going to be a talent and then like you said there when he when he played it was fine like oh this is him same as Wayne Rooney this is going to be the same as Max Downman but yeah it's all the pressures and stuff that come with it now as well for him because it's going to be a it's like a whole life-changing experience just the whole thing school going out everything now but he's got a good family around him so no dramas there right let's get to the games lads some crackers here this next part of the podcast is supported by Pally Power the big weekend fixture is Liverpool Arsenal unbelievable fixture Liverpool favourites as you'd expect evens and Arsenal are five to two I mean this could be the top two I think many fancy the top two there's only a few of us who've got hatchets in this fixture so it's always a difficult one.

16:08Chris Stark: It's not always difficult for all of us, but for some. I don't know where to go from that. I'm just looking at the stats and stuff. This game, this is big already. We've got two games, three games going to be into the season. This throws down a massive gauntlet, I think, not just to the other team, but to the rest of the league as well, or the chasing pack. Arsenal, Eze's gone there now. You know, look at the walkout. I mean, the way he just strolled out at the Emirates, you know, it's like he's at home already. How good was that stroll out? The little smile. I think it's the best walkout ever.

16:51Chris Stark: The little smirk. Yeah. I think it might be the best one I've ever seen. Yeah. Yeah. And it's just him, and you're so buzzing for him as well. So, And Liverpool look strong, but I still think defensively they... I can see Arsenal scoring some goals in this. I can see Arsenal scoring. I don't know. I don't know. Who wants to kick this one off? Well, I know they're not favourites. I'm going to go... Annoyingly, because we're all remote and doing it like this, I've not been able to bang this out on Instagram like normal. So I'm having to go by my gut instinct, which is never good. On his own. But I'm going to go for an Arsenal win here.

17:30Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Yeah, I think I am. But what a game. It's exciting. What are you going for? I'm going to go... Well, in honour of my new bed arriving, I might go missionary on all of them today. I'm going to go... I'm going to go 2-1 I think 2-1 Arsenal Yeah Oh Okay

18:09Chris Stark: I like it Alright Fair play I like it Yeah I'm going to go I'm going to go for a 2-1 draw Oh God Yeah I was going to go for a 1-1 draw Okay I'm going for a Desmond okay okay I'm going to go for the sake of the pod I'll go for a Liverpool win then and I'm going to go for a 2-1 Liverpool win right love that that's huge beautiful yeah this is big right we've got Paddy's boost each pick a leg of the the CrouchPod bet builder odds on that would be we would be boosted by 20 % put on the specials on the Pally Power website and that. I'm going to go for a player to be carded. That's Canate. I think he struggled a little bit at the start of the season.

19:06Chris Stark: Canate to be carded. Okay. I will go for Gekpo to score first, actually. I'm going to go for a player to have two or more shots on target. I'm going to go Salah. Okay. Odds are correct at time recording. Please gamble responsibly. Moving on to a West London derby. the Steve Sedwell derby Chelsea versus Fulham what's your thoughts Sid? Thoughts so this one Fulham struggled on the weekend they just lacked a little bit up top Jimenez come on changed the game Smithrow come on and Wilson they changed the game they got back into it got a draw against Man United which they probably Man U probably deserved to win on the edge of it Chelsea look good Chelsea do look good I as Chelsea at home I know Fulham got a win there last season.

19:58It was a bit of a smash and grab. They won 2-1 there last season. The first time they won at Stamford Bridge in 40 years, believe it or not. I just think Chelsea are going to be too strong for this. I'm going to go for a Chelsea 3-0 win.

20:19Oh, convincing.

20:21Chris Stark: Yeah. Yeah, Chelsea 3-0. yeah a little bit more optimistic for them I'll go for another draw here 1-0 oh and he now 4-0 draw nice yeah obviously Chelsea will be favourites I accept that I've thrown it out there but I think Fulham I think they'll be alright I like that I think that's that's a good shout I'm going to go I'm going to go no I'll stick with my 2-1 so I'm going to go Chelsea 2 Fulham 1 you can have a good weekend ok moving on to Manchester United vs Burnley what did you make of Bruno Fernandes' penalty when the ref got in the way so again I was at the game he was getting a bit of stick before that the dog abuse actually from the crowd and I'm not too sure about this referee bit I think he's a bit more with the fans and I think he's absolutely tried to stick it right in the top corner to sort of show off to the fans more than the referee sort of saga.

21:27And I think he just blamed that on him. But yeah, I mean, he should just stroke it in. I think he's just a little, I don't know. I don't know what he had, a bit of a mad sense. But did you see it, Chris? Did you see the penalty flashed over the crossbar? Yeah, I did. Yeah, yeah. I didn't fully understand all the drama that was there before it. and also he's just always in that mode isn't he he's always like agitated chatting yeah like at the ref so it's it's hard to know really um how much it actually affected him are you all right there crouchy sorry mate sorry yeah sorry i assume you were doing something which required you to be off camera

22:13Chris Stark: yeah yeah I was just off camera for a minute there it was a it was a private moment Horny he's Horny I was desperate he's Horny Horny I was so desperate so I was so desperate for a piss I just had to go mid-conversation yes but I was listening I was I was I was listening I was listening and Bruno Fernandes obviously walks into the referee and he said the referee didn't apologise and that to be fair to him he didn't blame the miss on him but it definitely affects him in some way is that what you said did he actually come out and say that he said yeah he's just a real stickler for for manners no you know what like really hot hot on manners no you know like your routine is important to you isn't it really and I think the referee the fact that he kind of bumped into him although it was an accident.

23:14Chris Stark: It's obviously, he's obviously fuming with the fact that, and does that give him an extra bit of more adrenaline to then put it over the bar? Yeah. Interesting. Yeah. It's one for, for Mr. Abrahams who we had on last time. A little psychology. This is Man U versus Burnley, is it, at Old Trafford? Man U versus Burnley, yeah. Okay. Burnley got a good result on the weekend, beating Sunderland. He did that. Yeah. Big win that. Two promoted teams at home as well. That was important. But I went first last time, so I'll let you boys go. I don't know if we're going to see the same old United as last year.

23:58Chris Stark: I think they definitely improved. But, you know, going forward and stuff, like the opening day, I saw some good signs. obviously disappointing disappointing on the weekend but Burnley surely can't go you would expect to Old Trafford and get a result I don't know I do see a potential what's the phrase a potential banana skin here I can see Burnley doing this I can see a big old away day I don't know I've just got a feeling about it I just don't know if I want to back it myself I'll back Burnley I'm going to say 2-1 Burnley oh my god you've got the banana skin in the missionary position wow wow oh my gosh

24:55go on Pete I'll let you go first next

24:58Chris Stark: I like it I mean I thought 1-0 Burnley could have been a good shout but But I'm going to go completely opposite to that and go 3-0 Man United. I think it's one or the other. Because I think Burnley, I think, can get a result. But I think once United score one and the pressure alleviates, I think then they can go on and score three. But if Burnley keep it tight, 0-0 to the latter stages, I think it gets really, really edgy inside the stadium. and then Burnley could end up nicking the result. So I can see both sides. I think it's convincing United or Burnley nick it. Yeah. So I'm going 3-0 anyway.

25:45Okay, I'm going to go for a edgy Man U victory. I'm going to go for a 1-0 Man United victory. Love it. Shall we get into the pod? Let's do it. Let's do it.

26:03Chris Stark: Right, lads, what I want to get into today, I was thinking, just because of, you know, I know Ross went to Everton's new stadium for the first game, and the Hill Dickinson Stadium just got me thinking about stadiums in general, really. Obviously, we're going to miss Goodison Park, but I think it was a success, the new Everton Stadium. Speaking to Ross, I think he looks, you know, he likes, I think it looks, he looks good. I think it's a nice home for him. West Ham fans aren't so happy with their new stadium Upton Park was, you know, I think they really missed that But stadiums in general, Sid What would be your favourite that you've played in?

26:44Yeah, I mean, look, I think when you get Especially into the Premier League, Crouch You automatically look forward to playing I think the biggest stadiums I think they're the ones you want to play in Because you're not used to playing in front of that next step of 50, 60, 70, 80 ,000. So Old Trafford would obviously be one of them. You know, that was great going to play there back in the day. Ultimately, you'd take probably a 2-0 defeat straight away and get out of there. And the clubs that I was at anyway. And get out of there.

27:17Chris Stark: And get out, take a 2-0 and get out of there. Take a 2, take a 2. Your arse is just a little bit of a slap and then you're out. Not a hiding. Do you know what that's reminded me of, Sid? That's reminded me of, were you in the Stoke team when we went to the Etihad against, well, it was one of the best Man City teams we've ever seen and we won 1-0. 1-0, yeah. Well, I was there. I was up in the stand watching and that was a smashing grab if I've ever seen one. Oh, my God. Mate, Chris, you wouldn't believe this game. We all got back in the changing room after the game, right? bearing in mind I don't think I reckon they must have had 38 shots right you know 26 on target we I reckon we got in there half twice in the whole game we camped and Manju ran the length of the pitch and scored and I remember getting back in the dressing room after right we got back in the dressing room and just went everyone started laughing we all started laughing going how the fuck have we just won that

28:27Chris Stark: Unbelievable I mean that was some place to go some place to go that the Etihad at that time made the pitch look big it was the same as Man United when you know when you had freaking you know Beckham, Giggs, Scholes, Keane they just made the pitch massive and you just couldn't get near them They're making that bigger aren't they now as well Are they? Yeah behind the goal they're putting another a tier now on the left hand side yeah I think the bigger ones don't always generate the biggest noise do you know what I mean which I think will be different for Everton like obviously we've opened up with Everton with them going to that new one I just think that fan base and the stadium looks awesome as well and now they do it all acoustically and make sure it all stays in I think they could nail that one.

29:16That's a massive part of it now isn't it like as I understand it that's all thought of with the design like it's it's designed to be noisier they really think through the acoustics but i often think that as well like even just down to the sound system like it's unbelievable how crap the sound systems at some stadiums can be yeah yeah they sound like trade announcements well you know your stuff don't you like

29:44Chris Stark: i'm kind of used to it i suppose i'm used to a shit announcement because all I've ever had at football grounds is is shitty announcements that's been my life yeah but I guess there's there's a kind of a joy in that as well you know I was at the Maidenhead game a couple of days ago and uh and it was almost it was almost impressive how bad the sound quality was on the announcements but but then that was kind of the more I think about it there's kind of a joy in that and not quite being able to hear what is being asked. I was at Fulham on the weekend, Fulham Man U, and they had the goal disallowed.

30:24And it's now, you know where the referees have to talk now to the stadium? You can tell they're nervous. I don't know if it was, but he'd give it a little, but he was obviously, his mic was open and it went around the stadium straight away. But you can't really hear what he's saying. you can't really hear what he's saying it's going to go wrong it's going to go really wrong at some point because it happens it's like whenever you host a TV show or do anything like that I'm always so paranoid that your mic is actually going out and it's going to happen at some point they're going to accidentally leave it on a bit too long yeah actually where was your you've done Anfield obviously played there I've done it as an away team but where was your favourite stadium to play at?

31:13Chris Stark: Do you know what? I loved going away in playing for England and in the Champions League, obviously. But even the UEFA Cup and then eventually the Europa League. Like UEFA Cup, we went to some amazing places in Portsmouth, just places you'd never visit normally. I remember Braga. I don't know if you remember Braga, or if you've ever played there. You've got two massive stands either side, And then you've got like a big, massive kind of mountain behind you where people are just standing on a mountain watching the football. Like things like that just did absolutely insane. I think like certainly the big ones, like for me, obviously, Italian football was massive when I was growing up.

31:56Chris Stark: So to play at San Siro was just like it's an amphitheater. You know, it's like it's like the Coliseum. And it genuinely is like the Coliseum, like, you know, with those corner things. and it's just like, I can't believe I'm kind of here. You know, I've watched this my whole life. I've watched, you know, the Rude Hullet, Rijkaard, Van Basten, Capello era of football with AC Milan winning everything, Franco Beresi, Maldini. And I'm thinking I'm now, they've run on this pitch and I'm here. Just, I mean, that was special. The Bernabeu as well. I played in the old Bernabeu. But even Wembley, you know, Even the prestige of playing at Wembley was fantastic.

32:39Chris Stark: But I remember in my first season, I think QPR, even those, I remember going to Cru Alexandra, going to Grimsby, places like that. Like, you know, the Rotherham. We used to get changed in port cabins. Remember Rotherham. You had to walk that kind of, Rotherham, you know, that kind of gauntlet where you just get absolutely abused by the fans. You're basically walking past the pie shop, you know, like literally, and they're just getting absolute pelters from the fans. And you go out and play. Like, I actually love that kind of real football as well. You know, like, that's the sad thing about Upton Park, you know.

33:21Chris Stark: That was a special place to play football. And like, as horrible as it was, same with Goodison. If you're playing for Tottenham, for instance, and you're at West Ham, or if you're playing for Liverpool and you're at Goodison, there's something special about the hatred and the kind of intense rivalry atmosphere. And unfortunately, I know the game has to move on. It's just a real shame that we have to lose those special grounds. Yeah. But then I guess the flip side of that is it's also quite sad when you go to a stadium that you've been there, you know, when they've been in another league and it's been full and it's been bouncing.

34:05And then you sort of see the kind of, I guess the example that sticks in my head at the moment was when I last went to see Reading. I think I saw Burnley against Reading. And fair enough, it was a cup game, but it was so quiet. And I've been in that stadium when it's been so full. It just felt like, I guess, a bit of a fallen giant. And I think it's such a shame when stadiums head that way. Well, it's pretty similar to Stoke as well, I suppose. Like, Crouch, you'd have seen it year in, year out when you was there. And when I experienced it as a player that's gone to visit, but also as a home player, that was a fortress.

34:44You try and make the fans count and that 13th man, as they say. But when you walk out of Stoke, especially for your away team, and for somehow they've got this little bit of a wind tunnel, that corner flag right in front of you is just doing this. And the opposition team, they're like, I don't fancy this at all. At all. And then the crowd are like, they are on it. They are on it. And the crowd makes a big difference. It doesn't matter what the stadium is. Like the crowds are one. And it has to be said, I'd say the Northern teams make it more of a fortress definitely than the Southern teams.

35:19Chris Stark: Yeah. When I think back to those Stoke times, Sid, you know, like that place was jumping and we had a good team. You know, like when we had a few kind of, like when Zonzi came, we had an out of itch. We had good players, Bojan. Yeah, players who could play out. We kind of, there was that great mix of the steel with a sprinkling of quality. And we used to rip teams up at Stoke And we were better than we got credit for at times because we were kind of moving away from that ugliness. We still had a bit of it. And the crowd was just jumping and it was a great place to play football. And you just saw teams just come and crumble.

36:06Chris Stark: It's a horrible, horrible place to play for an away team. Do you think that needs to get played up a little more? Do you think teams need to kind of actively try and make their stadiums a bit more horrible for away teams? Because I guess now you've got a situation where clubs like Chelsea, they make a big thing of the teams arriving. They call it, is it a blue carpet or they make it sort of, you know, there's a DJ, there's a presenter. All the players are named as they come off. What is your thoughts on that? Is it a bit woke nonsense for you? I saw it at City as well. City do it as well. They all get off the bus, they announce them, and there's people dancing, and the DJ, like you say, in announcements.

36:55Chris Stark: Utter woke nonsense, Chris. I thought you'd say that. Crouchy, what's your take on the fanfare bits outside? Because you do a lot now for TNT for the early games, so you're there for about an hour before kick-off. I've seen you do one at Forest, I've seen you down at Palace do one as well. what I mean how have you seen the transition of them because obviously players won't see that so it's all for the fans and a big build up so what's your take on that and also what is the best one that you've seen look this is let someone in this is amazing sorry lads I just love I love these at home podcasts you see so much don't you there's so much going on my mother-in-law's here to um just just lend a hand but i i was listening sorry sid uh the fan fairs outside yeah what have you made of them the last few seasons and what's been the best one you've that you've been in do you know what right there's there's lots of things that you know i'm a bit old school in some ways and i'm like oh woke nonsense but obviously the carpet announcement stuff not for me but the those fan fan parks right they're actually i get that like people are going there early you're you can see the stadium so if instead of being in a pub miles away and then having to scramble to get into the game last minute you're in these fan parks they're playing a few tunes you're mixing with your own fans you're having a few beers like and then you walk into the stadium, they actually work.

38:33Chris Stark: They really do. Chris, as players, we obviously can't pick and choose, or you can pick and choose where you want to play. But as a fan that you've travelled to, where would you say is the worst? When you've gone to much water?

38:54I'm never a fan of the QPR away end. it's just too light are you not high I don't like it SIDS I'm afraid it's like the bar that they've got there you can only get you basically can't get to the bar at half time you can't do it because it's too shallow so they crammed everyone in and then you try and stand last time I went to QPR I stood literally behind a pillar it's like a giant concrete pillar in the away end I just thought this is shit I love QPR be careful here Chris

39:35Chris Stark: because QPR for me is I absolutely love this road for me is right up there top three I love the club so as a kid because I grew up not too far away the coolest party I always remember Bobby Ellington did a tour of QPR for his birthday party I thought it was the coolest thing. I had such a good time. But I just mean going there as an away fan, it is a bit woke nonsense all around QPR now because obviously you've got Westfield, you've got all these fancy sort of places you can go. I love that the stadium just stays strong. It's uncompromising. It's the same as it always has been. However, I've just got to say that away end is just not the one for me.

40:23It's just sadly crouchy. it's just not

40:26Chris Stark: do you know bizarrely I've experienced the away end at QPR obviously I went to QPR a lot I grew up just down the road and we used to pay a fiver to sit in the lower paddock to watch a Premier League game can you believe that Man United had come to town and we paid£5 to get in the lower paddock and watch the best players in the world it was incredible we'd get the tube from Broadway to White City and go and watch but I remember my mum's side of the family all Man City fans and they wanted to go in the weigh-in. So me and my dad went with them to the weigh-in and we were up in the upper tier in the city end.

41:04Chris Stark: That's the first time I've ever experienced it. But I know what you mean, but it was a great view. The pitch, we were kind of like upper tier overlooking the goal. And I remember it was one of Les Ferdinand's first ever games and no one had even heard of Les Ferdinand. And I was only a kid. And I remember he scored a header right in front of us and I've seen nothing like it. he ran from like the halfway line and bulleted this header in like Les Ferdinand we knew, but no one knew who he was. And I remember one of the lads turning to my dad and saying, where did he come from? As in like, you know, where did they buy him from?

41:41And my dad just went, straight down the middle.

41:47Chris Stark: Describing the goal. And I was like, I'll always remember that for some reason, that little comment of like, where did he buy him from? Anyway, they just came straight down the middle.

42:00Chris Stark: I think he brought him from Hayes, didn't he, or something? Was he at Hayes? Yeah, I think he might have been. He might have been. I think he might have been. Yeah, amazing. But I think you can't judge a whole stadium by the away end. It is unfair of me to probably say that. But then again, there's some places that you never expect to be quite as amazing as you are until you're there. I remember going to a Stockport. I can't remember the name of the ground, though, Stockport. And it was... Edgley Park? Yeah, sounds right. And what an experience that was. What a place. And you just don't really expect it.

42:42Do you know what I mean? I love that. I love when that happens. You're sort of surprised by a ground. Yeah, for both reasons as well. I mean, the worst... Well, if we talk about being surprised by how bad it was, Bradford was pretty bad. Bradford was, I don't know whether it's improved now, but the dressing rooms, did you ever play at Bradford Crouchy?

43:02Chris Stark: Don't think I did. Don't think I did. I swear the dressing room is the smallest dressing room and it's in the corner flag, by the corner flag, and there's stairs that go up to it as well. But I think Bradford would be up there for me in terms of the worst dressing room. I've changed him for sure. but pitch-wise it's quite big yeah pitch-wise it was quite big uh i'll tell you what i did i noticed the other day i see it come up it's really it's mad how we've spoke um chose this topic to do today there's a few things i've wrote down i see a thing come up yesterday and you touched a crutch you touched it there about playing abroad and it was fenerbahce's um stadium announcer that announces the teams and he's in a glass box and he's announcing the team like player by player and he's got a boy next to him this kid must only be five five or six years old and he says i think i think the commentator says one name and then he says the other and then the crowd which has got a big window next to him they're screaming like the after bit and this kid has got so much passion he's only young i'll fire into the into our whatsapp group they just do it they just do it differently out there didn't they you know that noise as well when there's like a foul or when they score, it's either a whistle or a jeer, isn't it?

44:26It's just like Turkey, for instance, is just off the scale noise. It's mad. No, mate.

44:32Chris Stark: It's the best I've ever played in. I absolutely loved it. I played Galatasaray, I played Besiktas and Fenerbahce. I didn't play Fenerbahce away, though. But yeah, Besiktas for me, it was insane. You walk out, I remember walking out with my programme and I was walking out before the game with my check suit and I walked out and the whistles were deafening, absolutely deafening. And I went like that in my programme just pretending I just walked straight back in again.

45:05Chris Stark: Carnage. They just do it right. The atmosphere is absolutely electric. And their stadium announcers. I think that's a really kind of underrated job in football, Sid. like when you get a good stadium announcer it makes the atmosphere yeah because they properly build up with it as well yes at Watford I always feel for the stadium announcer who has to because sometimes they separate it so we had a voice that was like for for the Watford fans and would announce the Watford players and then it was another guy who'd then be the voice of the opposition and I always thought that was a bit of a tough gig for him because he was he's obviously a Watford guy, but he was like the voice of, yeah, I guess the voice of the opposition.

45:52And I always got a sense that he wanted to break through and be the main guy, you know, and he wanted to be the voice of Watford, but he'd only ever get given the away team to talk about.

46:04Chris Stark: That is a blow, that. You know, talking about stadium announcers there, like Liverpool's, the Anfield stadium announcers is just like iconic. It's the same with Old Trafford. I think it's the same guy who's been doing it many, many years. I mean, what an amazing thing to be able to do for your football club, especially if you have been doing it for decades, you know. You become part of the stadium as well. So, for example, if West Ham had the same stadium announcer, I'm not sure if they did, did he then move to the new stadium? Do you keep that stadium announcer? Oh, you have to. Yeah, you've got to.

46:43Got to. Yeah, because like Crouchy, you said there, they're the ones that generate, especially the start before kickoff. I remember at Reading, the chap that used to do it there, I don't think he does it now. And if they had a picture of him, it would be like a picture of Leonardo DiCaprio in Wolf of Wall Street, you know, like when he's got the mic and he's talking to everyone. And I remember just before kickoff, we'd all literally be ready to kick off and he'd still be on the pitch of his clipboard. And as he'd be walking off, he would say, what did he used to say? He used to say, right, kickoff.

47:16Kickoff is approaching. So back the boys. I made some noise. Come on, you all. And everyone, the whole, and everyone, it just picked it up. It made you get, like, give me goosebumps there now. It just gets you going. Brilliant. Chris, I reckon you'd be a good stadium announcer. Yeah, it is good. I'd love it. What a job, though. I think it's an important part because you get the atmosphere right. It affects you guys playing on the pitch. It is such an important job. I don't know with football clubs where they spend so much money on every element of the team. I don't know if we're in a world yet where it might head that way where we start to see stadium announcers being scouted and transferred between clubs, that kind of thing.

48:06Because it's like you get a good one. it changes the atmosphere if the atmosphere is bouncing you guys pick up on it and play to that it's perhaps one of the most underrated or undervalued positions in football surely

48:26Chris Stark: I find it it's going to be straight this World Cup in America, I don't know if you watched the World Club Championship you talk about hype man Michael Buffer like introducing it like that that whole american sport thing like i remember going into basketball and it was just like a show in the crowd and then there's like a game of basketball going on as well do you know what i mean it's like it feels secondary to to the actual what's going on there's people pinging t-shirts kiss cams fucking like there's fucking there's the hot dog guy the peanut guy there's a beer man they're all got like beers around them you like pick him one off and everyone's chatting to each other and you go like, is anyone actually watching this fucking sport here?

49:11Chris Stark: It's mental. But that final, that final was where it's all going to go. They had a halftime show as well. It was the first time we've seen a kind of, a bit of an effort put into a football halftime show. I think a Coldplay during the halftime show amongst others. It was a bit much, I thought. But that's what I'm saying. This World Cup, mate, This is going to be, I think, bizarrely, I think it would be class. I think it would be a lot of fun. Yeah. But I think it will be very different to a lot of the World Cups that we've seen in the past, put it that way. But do you think that's creeping into the Premier League, though?

49:51Like, as you said there, you've got the fan parks outside before kick-off now. Now you've got the referees talking to the stadiums. Are we going to see people pinging T-shirts and, you know, throwing peanuts around in the stands soon?

50:06Chris Stark: I think yeah I don't know I mean these t-shirts I reckon you might get might get the t-shirt thrown back at you to be honest if you stop digging them in but it just I mean they do they do things differently and there's definitely some there's an element of it which is good and a lot of fun but you know you can't you don't want to take too much away from the game that we love no I agree you've got the to protect the quite shit half-time traditions that we have in this great nation of ours as well. You say there, Chris, you know, like, you know, Coldplay. Would you rather have Coldplay or would you rather have, you know, someone dressed as a banana trying to chip the crossbar?

50:55Exactly, yeah. Halfway line challenge but you're spun around ten times before. Yeah, yeah. You've got to protect this sort of stuff. Yeah,

51:06Chris Stark: yeah, watching a group of five-year-olds play a five-a-side in the corner of the pitch is far, far more entertaining. Yeah, but you've just got to be careful. There's a place for cold play. There is. But I don't believe it's in the half-time of a football match. Yeah, I mean, watching a pissed-up fella taking a penalty in a pair of loafers for me will always be better than cold play. Yeah, especially when they then go and celebrate in front of the home fans. Do you know what I mean? Take it upon themselves and give it some. I'll tell you what's progressed. I was at Fulham on the weekend, sat with Sean Davis, actually.

51:48We'd done a bit of hospitality together. He said to say hello, boys. The hospitality at Fulham in the Riverside stand. Oh, my word. You have never seen. it's the best in the Premier League by a mile let me just say this possibly in Europe so the Riverside stand now is finished, it's completed, they've got a walkway on the back of the stand that goes along the Thames, that's open again for all the fan parks and stuff, but when you go inside the downstairs part is called the dugout and it's a bit more social, a bit more relaxed, big plasma screens. Then you go out and your seats are right behind the dugout.

52:38But then when you go upstairs, two-star Michelin restaurant, they've got the, it's like, it was like being on a cruise ship. Honestly, it is the best. We've got to get down. They've actually invited us to go down there and do a podcast down there. We, we have got to go down there and see it. Honestly, Crouchy, when you do a piece at Fulham next, you've got to get out there.

52:58Chris Stark: They've got a swimming pool on the, on the roof. You know, you know, when Roy Keane started talking about prawn sandwiches, right? You've got people in the Riverside stand doing backstroke and a bit of foie gras.

53:14Chris Stark: Backstroke and foie gras. I've never heard anything like it.

53:21Overlooking the Thames. It sounds lovely, Sid, but again, I'm just not sure. You've got to look after our kind of slightly shitter tradition. Hey, Sid, you can't – hold on a minute.

53:33Chris Stark: Listen a minute. You can't see the pitch from a swimming pool. You can't actually do breaststroke whilst watching Raul Jimenez. No, so the concept come from – because – who's the Fulham chairman? Can't. So he owns the – Jacksonville Jaguars. That's it, Jackson. And they have got an infinity pool around the back of their goal inside the stadium. So you can sit there in your swim shorts and literally have your elbow on the glass, getting a beer, watching the game. So I think he tried to bring that concept. Can you imagine that? Well, they tried to bring that to the Premier League. And on the Riverside stand, they've got the hotel on the corner and it's got the pool on the rooftop.

54:28so when you're in the pool I don't think you can see the game, I don't think you can but listen I'm all about football heritage it's nice to experience but yeah, get me in the mix and get me a hot dog and a beer and I'll be happy with that This idea of watching the football whilst submerged is an interesting one though because when you're looking at what you're building with a new stadium you naturally think well we could build a terrace section but imagine a whole stand as a swimming pool for example like you'd you'd you'd get loads of people in right but imagine just bobbing around like with the force it would be phenomenal because you couldn't have a whole stand the only reason

55:16Chris Stark: with that i'm sure there's lots of reasons why you can't have a whole stand as a swimming pool but one of the main ones is i remember the old wembley and there was floods of piss all in the in the aisles like floods like literally rivers rivers of piss at the old Wembley I think if you have a swivel could you imagine how much piss would be in that I often think that when you see the pool parties in Ibiza and you have to remind yourself it's not pleasant in there is it no I think I've seen this happen once or twice uh I'm not sure what ground it is that does it but But don't they have a sort of bed of the week or something like that?

55:57Are they sponsored by a bed company? It's something like that, isn't it? Yeah. Man U have definitely done it at Old Trafford, where I think they get maybe like a legend or a previous player that was like on a sofa. It's like they've got their own kind of VIP living room. What are you going to say? A jacuzzi there? No, no. I haven't seen a jacuzzi.

56:17Chris Stark: Imagine it was a jacuzzi. Imagine it was though. Imagine it was Fergie in the jacuzzi as well. Just sitting in there with Steve Bruce and a couple of lads. I'm all for it.

56:32Chris Stark: I'm all for that. Yeah, Chris, I've come to you on this one, actually. I was going to ask you, obviously, I don't see loads of it as a fan. You'd see it more than me. But, you know, it used to be the old pie and bovril. I used to get I used to get a cheeseburger at half time and a Bovril when I was a kid like what what do you make of this I mean you can get like it's a lot there's a lot of various different choices now and I'm not sure I agree with it all I feel like it should have been do you know what I mean yeah I think it's I think there's again it comes back to what traditions we want to keep with it like I always remember being at Vicarage Road and then one season they had they had uh it was like from the same stand suddenly you could get like a they had a lump of ham that they were carving with a knife uh onto a bap and i thought that was controversial at the time i was like bloody hell they've really gone through it here haven't they i just want to pick you up on something you um you said they're crouchy when you were a child did the cheeseburger and bovril combination which is a classic football meal but did you drink bovril as a child Oh, yeah, yeah.

57:49I was drinking bofferal from like eight years old. See, I don't think kids are at the moment. I don't think they are. No, they are. I don't think they are, and I think it's a problem, and we need to get our kids back on them beefy drinks.

58:04Chris Stark: You've got no chance. I genuinely think that the chance we've got at this day and age is the kids aren't drinking bofferal. No. Well, that's because you've got like outside stands now or inside the stands now, You've got wood fire pizzas being blown up and you've got poke bowls. I mean, there's no poke bowls at the football. It's mental. Do you know what's happening now? There's a serious lack of Bovril, right? Kids are walking in there now and they're ordering chai lattes. Well, skinny frappuccinos. You know who's to blame? It's KSI and the Sidemen, of course. Like, you know, kids are drinking prime.

58:45You know, they're dominating the market. They've done incredible things, those guys. What we need is almost to be the side men of Bovril. And we need to, I don't know, like bring it back in anger, I guess. And kids should be drinking Bovril at the football. Honestly, you'll struggle to find a child drinking Bovril at the football.

59:10Chris Stark: I'm convinced of it. Do you know what's amazing with the Bovril you get at football grounds? I don't know if it's the same now. I imagine it's moved on. But you had the big cup, plastic cup, and then you had a little silver thing that you pulled. You pulled it out, and then they poured the water in. Piping hot water as well. Piping, scalding. Number one, you need a cold cheeseburger with a scalding hot bovril. Oh.

59:42Chris Stark: Maybe it's for the better. I don't know. yeah look we can see i think we can see and it's a lot of like oh good old days and stuff like that but i think there is something nice about tradition i think you can over complicate stuff at the football i do think it's great having food options but for me the variation should be what pie filling it is you know i think a chicken bolty pie should be the sort of most exotic of of foods and there should be limits put in place yeah and i totally get catering for all but you know there should be a vegetable option of pie yeah well no because i think veggies eat pies don't they they just don't eat you know they just don't want a meaty one so we say pies pies for all you know you get you you you could be as woke as you like with the most niche um food dietary requirement but you can eat a pie can't you you can have a gluten-free pie as well do you know like i don't know if you can okay i probably can't tell you because it's pastry but i'm sure there's a way of doing it no they'll they they do it with it all now crow cheek they'll be they'll be a gluten-free pie no doubt about it okay bring back the bovroon pie very quickly though just just very quickly on the bovroon thing i think that is definitely if if i was looking at a kind of dream collaboration for this podcast, it would be Bovril, wouldn't it?

1:01:10It makes sense, actually. It's the ball heritage. I'm sure they need it as well, don't they?

1:01:17Chris Stark: I've worked with Bovril before. I've done lots of work with Bovril. Obviously, based in Burton-on-Trent, really great guys. You know, sponsor Burton. Yeah, the stadium. They're a big part of Burton in general, really. Yeah. But great drink, fully endorse it. Thumbs up for Bovril. Great, thumbs up for Bovril. And that's the slogan we can run with, you know. And let's encourage people. A lot of people listen to this podcast, maybe on the way to work or on a drive, that kind of thing. Do away with, you know, just one day a week, do away with your tea or your coffee and get a Bovril. Makes perfect sense.

1:02:04that's so like an advert there makes perfect sense

1:02:13Chris Stark: well as i just want to get into a few few messages now uh got one here uh hi guys really enjoyed this chat because i've been a season ticket holder with my dad for uh west bromwich albion since 2015-16 but then he stopped after 21-22 and i kept going on my own and made friends with the two brothers who sit next to me. They must be around 30 years older. Sorry if you're listening, lads. Despite chatting every game and enjoying each other's company in the concourse pre-game, we've never asked for each other's name. Is this normal for football fans? I know their names simply because they say their names.

1:02:50Chris Stark: They talk about each other. Should I introduce myself or keep the mystery? Keep up the work. Great work. The laughs help my shit job a lot. So thank you. Chumbo, that's Rowan, 22 years old. This is something obviously we chatted about last time. It's like when people renewed a season ticket. Obviously, as players, there's that one fella who abuses you the whole season. You just think, day one, you're getting abused again. You think, fuck, he's renewed. But this one, this obviously, you know, you create bonds with people close to you. But you only ever meet at the football match. yeah you're right and and because because it sort of slowly builds over time you know you're seeing these same faces and and it just becomes it becomes routine it becomes tradition as we've been said yeah i guess the thing with it there's never that opportunity really to ask their name because it would be weirder say eight games into a season to go to to then introduce yourself do you know i mean you've already bonded by then so it's an it's an interesting one this could it's not just rowan here i think this could be football fans all over the the uk who who see these same people every week but have never bothered to ask their name and maybe this is again something that we can encourage you know this weekend when you go to the football doesn't matter if it's been x amount of years that person that you always see why why don't you go and introduce yourself why don't why don't you ask them their name i think this i think this is a man thing as well isn't it because like i can imagine now every male supporter that goes home like to his partner whether it's girlfriend or wife that she would go oh who'd you sit next to and they'd be like i don't know they'd be like you don't know the name of that person like you probably sat next to him for the past four or five seasons and it's just a it's just a a bloke thing to go yeah but we just get on yeah well he's fine he's a good lad

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1:05:52Chris Stark: that he hates Ken Moncal, but you don't know his name. Yeah, exactly. You know that he always wears the same scarf. You know, he always does, even in sort of warmer weather. You know he eats at half time. You know he bets on before the game. You know his little fiver before the game. He always has first goal scorer. You know these little things. But you don't know where he lives. You don't know if he's married. You don't even know his name. what are we saying is the cut off what are we saying is the cut off for that are we saying how many games into the season I don't think there is six because I don't no I think what we've got to do is basically because Rowan's really touched on something here which is you don't arson out I think what we've got to try and do is encourage people to go although it is kind of weird isn't it if like logistically walking up to someone and going you know I see you around there quite a lot my name is Peter.

1:06:51Chris Stark: What's your name? Let me tell you, I think at most football stadiums, I'd imagine that. I think they just turn around and go, what? Fuck. Regardless, I've been watching you for the last five seasons. I know everything about you, but I've realised I don't know your name. I've just noticed that you and your brother come to every game. I know I've seen you around here. what is your name?

1:07:26Chris Stark: There's no way to do it, is there? No, it's not. You just say, well, what do you want to know that for? So keep the mystery. This is what we're saying, yeah? Yeah, I guess so. I think Chris is right. Like, it would, the world, it would be a much more pleasant place if you did say, how are you? what is your name but there's no way of doing it without looking weird all right rowan so so i guess yeah i guess rowan it's i don't know maybe you be the social experiment rowan go and say hello go go find out the names and let us know how it how it all plays out yeah like definitely do that just say like yeah just hi um we've been sitting together for five years we have such a great time what is your name just see how it goes and do you know what we might we might be it might be able to change the dynamic at football grounds you know we could we could all just get on better yeah well you've just reminded me at Vicarage Roads there was one season or two season I can't remember but you could pay to have your your name on the seat uh so in the rookery you'd you'd get a a little almost like a, as if you died, but, but you hadn't, it was, you just have your name on the, name on the seat.

1:08:43It was, it was a lovely, lovely touch. I think that's quite a nice gesture that. Yeah. Yeah, but great. And also it made you really feel like you owned your, your, your seat, you know, I don't know what happened with that because they're not there anymore. So I assume one season they, they did away with it and then also removed all of them with, which feels a tad harsh, but, but yeah, I'm not against that idea. as well and then it's very easy to get people's names you know i i always i know like i'm getting

1:09:13Chris Stark: i'm probably getting a bit a bit deep here but i always think that with life in general you know like you think that you you own your seat but someone will sit there eventually again and you feel like you own your house or your car and you think but you don't because someone else will live in it when you're gone no it is it is quite deep that that's the sort of quote that i really hope someone takes that audio and then i see it on other videos you know and tiktoks and things like that um it is quite deep crouchy but but everything is just borrowed yeah yeah even time chris yeah oh well i came to this world with nothing and i leave with nothing but love everything else is just borrowed wow isn't that a street song where have we ventured into and yes it is a street song well done okay alright got a message here from Nick from Shrewsbury he says dear lads you don't need nicknames you need to give a player that would look great in a kit they never played for many curveball is honoree at Newcastle yes please so it's not necessarily the actual club it's just what he's saying it's the kit like what player would look good in the kit they never played in or played for.

1:10:39Yeah, or a bit of both, Siddy. It could be. I mean, the one that immediately comes to my head is Alan Shearer in a Man United kit. Mate, I cannot believe you just said that.

1:10:50Chris Stark: That's exactly what came to my mind. Alan Shearer, you know. I can't picture that. I just, you know why? Because obviously he was, he's obviously, Alex Ferguson's talked about him going out, Shearer's talked about. I just would love to have known what he would have achieved there. I know I totally get why he went to Newcastle and, you know, he's had an amazing career anyway. But I would have loved to have seen what that looked like. Yeah. I just cannot picture him. I know Southampton played in red and white stripes, but I can't picture him in a red kit. I just cannot picture him at all. At all.

1:11:31Chris Stark: it's an interesting one though is it like would he would he score as many goals would he score more like I don't know like because I just feel like that you know you probably you're playing with a better team so you'd imagine him to get more goals but I think at Newcastle like he it was geared up for him you know I mean I think I think would he yeah would every would everything go through him you know what I mean would he be on I know he'd definitely be on penalties and stuff but I don't know he did probably get more goals but 260 is a lot of fucking Premier League goals yeah yeah well does he score more does he get 300 if he's at United I don't know that's a yeah and I just think like you remember all the noise when he had that transfer and the money involved and what a turning point it felt like in football and just a prestige striker at Man United at that time would have been just an interesting one to imagine, isn't it?

1:12:39Chris Stark: If you had Beckham on one wing and Giggs or Sharp on the other, I'm pretty sure he's going to bag some goals. You'd think so. Okay, so what about players that have played like a one-club player So someone like a Carragher. I know JT went to Aston Villa at the end, or a Mark Noble. What kit could you probably see them? I mean, Jamie Carragher. Let's see. That's a hard one. Yeah, this is a fun game, actually. You're right. This is proper 3am game. But imagine you could swap Lampard and Gerrard, and they were in their respective kits. So you have Lampard in a Liverpool team. and you have Gerrard in the Chelsea.

1:13:31It's like a sliding doors thing.

1:13:34Chris Stark: Why don't you just do that age-old debate of Scholes, Lampard and Gerrard. Just mix them all up. Put Scholes at Liverpool. We'll put Stevie at Chelsea and we'll put Lamps at Man United. That's just blown my mind. AI. AI can do that. someone out there someone out there can do that if AI can give me a girlfriend AI can put them faces on different kits Brouchy's lost in thought it's just blown my mind I'm just thinking I'm just picturing Lamps at United Stevie at Chelsea and Skulls at Liverpool that's mind-blowing I think I need to move on.

1:14:31Chris Stark: All right. Any other messages? Crouchy Bonfire on the BBQC. The names could have changed by now because I've fallen well behind. Well, regardless of your families, that's still in play. As an avid listener from day one, I'm disappointed in myself for falling so behind, but I'm chumber-wumbering my way back through them all. I've not listened to the nostalgia episode and feel that there is so much more to talk about. I've not long listened to the nostalgia episode and I feel there's much more to talk about. The one thing I want to mention, and maybe this isn't as nostalgic for you as it was for me, as you would have been playing, but I think the winner stays on Nike advert is the peak of all football adverts.

1:15:17Chris Stark: Don't get me wrong, I love Yoga Benito, the airport Cantona's cage match, But winner stays on to me is where it peaked. If anyone ever wanted to explain why they love football, I believe they just need to show you that advert. Hope to hear this email in the future as I chumber-wumber my way through. Cheers, Canal. Well, yeah, so lads, I'm not sure about that, if I'm honest. I mean, obviously, I'm older than this lad by the sounds of it. I think that was about 2013. We were playing, you know, we were playing football then. So good advert, but for me, there was better adverts. I mean, it's not a patch on a whole new ballgame.

1:15:58You know, seeing John Walk doing some pectoral curls

1:16:05Chris Stark: with Vinnie Jones in the shower. I mean, Anders Limpar in his garden, was he? Yeah. John Salarco, Andy Ritchie, David James in his garden saving penalties. Sorry, David Seaman. Yes. whole new ballgame the music everything for me that's that's right up there yeah I agree even other Nike adverts as well by the way the like he's mentioned there the airport one even on where Canton are with the flickiest collar up and the as the shot in it goes through the the demon or something cool yeah what about the Hackney Marshes where was it Ian Wright at Hackney Marshes yeah that's a great one yeah fantastic yeah I like yeah I agree with you there I'm not sure that one was a good one the winner stays but not not to the peak of the others there's definitely more in the nostalgia episodes though because it was absolutely phenomenal quick point of information lads my beds have just arrived oh okay so there might be a bit of noise in the background here but but yeah what have you gone for bed wise oh right yeah get on this are you alone super king yeah yeah Yeah, I assume you're both super kings.

1:17:19Of course. Do you know what I imagine with you, Crouchy? I imagine you've got a circular bed. You know, like... What am I sort of picturing here? Yeah, like a circle. Giant headboard sort of stretches the width of a normal room. And then a circular bed.

1:17:43Chris Stark: For a circular bed, it'd have to be the size of the centre circle for me to fit in that straight. Oh, yeah, good point. I don't think that's even possible. I don't think... Like, granted, like, listen, my whole life, I've had my feet have stuck out of the bed. Obviously, that was just the Liverpool song, being as ready as feet stick out of the bed. I can confirm they've stuck out the bed my whole life. I'm in a hotel at the moment, and they are out at the end. Obviously, my own bed is eight foot. But because they've stuck out for so long, I still now, even though I fit in my bed, I still undo all the covers at the bottom and have my feet in air.

1:18:30Chris Stark: Otherwise, I can't sleep. It's like a comfort thing now. My feet have to hang out. Yeah. No, I get what you mean. That's always part of it. When you get into a hotel, one of the first things you do, you've got to sort of wrestle the sheet with your feet. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Sort of wedge it free. What about you, Sid? I've been imagining waterbed. No. No, no, no. Super king. Super king. Can't, like, touch the missus. Just go away from me. You know what I mean? Sneaky mirror? Yeah, I think there's a few sneaky mirrors. Not on the ceiling, though. nothing on the ceiling American psycho no

1:19:20Chris Stark: friend of mine actually swears by a um a water bed yeah yeah there's a I don't know sleeping as well yeah I don't think I'm saying too much it like um uh a lot of couples now they they sleep in separate beds and that's essentially what i'm trying to get to with a with a super king bed here is that we'll be so far apart and then occasionally just sort of meet in the middle i don't think there's you know like people who sleep separately i do think you are getting a better sleep if i'm being perfectly honest yeah um i don't think it's massively healthy for the relationship maybe but maybe it is because you know we don't do it but it would be i think you would have a really pleasant sleep i well i sort of agree like everything about it you i think you think it's kind of the wrong way going about but everyone wins in that scenario you watch what you want on tv stay up as late as you want it's just the problem the main problem i see with it is when you do want to um to to get some how you orchestrate that situation do you know what i mean because it would be really obvious.

1:20:36Chris Stark: It's like you're just lingering in your missus' room for a bit longer, just like pottering around for ages. Yeah, that's what I mean. Night then, should I go? Do you want me to go? Or should I stay for a bit? There's got to be signals. There's got to be like, you both just go to your separate rooms and if the door's been left open, then that's the green light. Can you imagine the buzz when you've settled down for a night on your own and you just hear the little footsteps going up towards your room?

1:21:20Chris Stark: Like that?

1:21:25And it's live. And it's live.

1:21:33Chris Stark: let's get ready to rumble but you know when you have that because occasionally you're in those moments right where you know it's happening but you have to pretend it's not and so you're so right you'd be there so excited knowing what's going on but then you'd have to play it cool you'd have to you know pretend like you don't know what's going on oh you alright everything okay yeah he'll be like that fucking hell I'm fully ready to go and she'll be like I've got a spider in my room can you get it out please yeah listen I almost felt a bit nostalgic that you know certainly talking about kind of stadiums that we've played in being a football fan you know going to the games, the food we've eaten.

1:22:31Chris Stark: And obviously being on Zoom with you boys, it feels very nostalgic, very COVID-esque. Yeah. Yeah, totally agree. Totally agree. But normally, I mean, just remembering those COVID times, we'd have a few beers on the go and it would go on until sort of two, three in the morning, some of those podcasts. Do you remember that one, Chris, long time ago? Do you remember that one where I was so pissed that we had to count the whole thing? Oh my God. it was remember that and bear in mind we were pretty loose on it because there was nothing there was nothing else so we treated it like being in the pub anyway people still talk about these covid podcasts that we did i always want to hear one or two back like some of the chats mate some of the chats but yeah there was one sid's crouchy was so i've been at golf since right and I thought I'll have a couple and then I just plowed on and I kind of, I think I forgot I even had a pod and then someone rang me and just went like, we've got to do this pod and I got on and I went, and I was completely snorted.

1:23:36Chris Stark: I think someone went, I don't know, I think we should. We're going to have to call it. Imagine being too pissed for a podcast.

1:23:49Chris Stark: I get too pissed for a podcast, but too pissed for this. podcast. Yeah, that's what I mean. Yeah. Crazy. I'm up for giving it a go if you want to relive it. So you let me know. Yeah. Yeah, we'll do one of those soon. But it'd be good to get back in the Chumbawamba anyway. We're back next week, are we? Yes. All together? Yeah. Good. Back stronger next week, guys. Regards to your families. What I've just realised here, when I do a thumbs up, it comes up on my screen. Doesn't anymore. There you go. Oh, there you are. Look at that. Oh, go on.

1:24:30Chris Stark: See you next time, guys.

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