The Zante Goalkeeper Calls Out Crouchy, Opening Day Mauling & The £2.5m Maradona Ball... | EP. 421

0:00Chris Stark: Hello and welcome to That Peter Crouch Podcast. Me, Peter Crouch, Chris Stark with me in the Chumbawamba and Sid is with us. But Sid, you're zooming in.

0:08Tom Fordyce: I'm zooming in, guys. Sorry, yeah, it's another one where I'm away. I don't like, I hate it. I get FOMO not being there.

0:16Chris Stark: I really do. I'm sorry. You look like you're really hating it when you're riding that bike around the Maldives on the way to work, Sid. Looks like a real struggle for you.

0:26Tom Fordyce: tell what someone's got to do it and yeah I've been very very grateful this last 10 days it's been really good Jill Scott has actually just arrived she's doing the next week's camp so we've had a good a good couple of days with her and then we're just literally linking over and I'm back back back stronger for for what the the second game is it the season it feels like yeah the weekend just gone yeah second game it's the second game of the season so and then hopefully back in the chumper one bar with you boys mate absolutely yeah well we look forward to that i mean he's traveling more than infantino at the moment yeah he is yeah unbelievable but i've just got back from holiday myself you just jetted in as well have you mate literally just turned up luton airport not ideal for a watford fan you sort of have to close your eyes as you're walking through it but it's sort of near where i live so it's um you know one of those and uh we uh yeah we we we uh touched down then I came straight to the chumber one bar.

1:24So I'm a little bit late. At the time of recording this, we're just before the Chelsea game as well. So we haven't been able to have a proper look at Chelsea yet, but it's been a fascinating weekend of football. No, certainly.

1:35Chris Stark: It's great. It's great to see that football's back, isn't it? And Premier League's back. I mean, that's really exciting first and foremost. So this weekend I've been right amongst it. I took myself to the Brentford Spurs game, which was great. My two little boys with me. It was brilliant. I asked for tickets for a Spurs game from Spurs and they looked after me really well and I ended up being you know sitting next to some of the players in the direct box it was mad so my little boy was like sitting next to Van de Ven and and it was Xavi Simmonds Kudus and and Porro right next to us and I remember I was saying oh my god I couldn't believe it literally couldn't believe it and my little boy Johnny was like that's Porro because he went to the World Cup final he went I remember like Poro from the World Cup I was like yeah that's him there can you ask him if he's got Laminia Miles' number fair question he said do you reckon he has and I went I reckon he might have yeah that was the question unbelievable which of your boys asked that no it was Johnny oh was it Johnny yeah little Jack made quite the impression of my little girl last week really yeah she said can I say this this is amazing she said yeah he was showing me his football cards and saying my dad's going to buy a load of his own Peter Crouch football cards, sign them up themselves, and then he's going to flog them.

3:01Chris Stark: My little girl was like, he's exposed me. My eBay racket. I've been doing this for years. Side hustle. Absolutely blew me up in a side hustle. He's earning a killing to her. Unbelievable Impressive stuff Impressive stuff Well how was your trip son Where have you been Oh it was good I went to Spain I went to Estepona Oh yeah Lovely Never really been there before It was basically Just four days of eating Ruffles And sitting on a beach You know It was lovely Can't you tell by my tan Oh yes glorious I hate sandy beaches I've got to say Like I know This is going to go Hand in hand With the whole Half and half Scarf chat I know I'm going to Draw heat for this Give me a stone beach Any day Really absolutely stone over sand there's nothing that a sandy beach offers that can't be done on stone beach I swear down Brighton beach is I put that against any sandy beach don't you have to wear shoes though you know what I mean but I like that I don't like sand going everywhere I don't like it in my kids eyes them complaining it's 35 degree heat I'm dealing with kids with sand in their eyes and sand in the food and stressing trying to get a sun lounger.

4:21Do you know what I mean?

4:22Chris Stark: I think the beach with young kids is a tough ask. I think my kids are kind of just over that now. Anything where you're carrying so much, the amount of stuff you need on the beach, plus carrying your child as well. But you can do any of that on a stone beach. Yeah.

4:40Tom Fordyce: Yeah, but what about when you go into the sea? Like that walk where you're tiptoeing into the sea. Painful. no no chris come on you're better than that you're better i know you love the feeling of sand between your toes i mean that's evident but but i honestly i don't know i really want to enjoy going to the beach like when my missus goes oh we can do a beach day today inside i'm like yay like i dread it the amount of things you've got to prep for it i'd want i'd way rather just sit around the pool and chill do you know what i mean i i stress on holiday i stress in the heat i i i find i need shade you know and i can't get i can't get it very easy yeah no no i distress you

5:27Chris Stark: make a value you make a valid point i mean here it's up it is up in the socials you know just just just hit us back with with sand or stone it'd be interesting to know i'm going to be out on my own here i worry that you know once again it's one of those things where if you admit to preferring a stony beach, you're going to get absolutely clobbered in the comments. You know, I can see him already, but I've got to speak my truth. Well, that's all we can do. We can go stand, stone or none. No beach. Yeah. I think you'll have a few people with no beach. Do you reckon?

5:57Tom Fordyce: Yeah.

5:57Chris Stark: Yes.

5:58Tom Fordyce: Yeah, yeah. Yeah, I agree. I agree. I have got a little update for you boys though. So, you know, I spoke about on the holiday chat, I spoke about the Zanti goalkeeper. Oh yeah. And I said that going quite big on TikTok at the moment, loads of Brits. If you're on holiday in Zante, you pay, I think it's a euro. You take a penalty against this goalkeeper. This goalkeeper is pretty unstoppable. So obviously we talked about this. The Zante goalkeeper has heard about our chat. Has he really? Yes. And a rep who works out in Zante called BJ has. Male or female? Male. He's a bit of a legend of Zante. Right.

6:41even when I've DJed there back in the past he was knocking around then BJ's fired me a video from the Zanti goalkeeper and I want to play it to you shut your mouth

6:51Tom Fordyce: oh wow seriously the Zanti goalkeeper yeah yeah yeah wow okay I'm gonna show you whilst you're loading that is the rep basically sort of side hustling to be his agent is this is this like what he's sort of getting into are you trying to get him a move it's happened before hasn't it like we talk about something on the podcast there's sudden interest in it it's Matt I had quite a few messages about this I can't tell you his name but yes I love the idea you don't even mean an agent for sort of you know the fact he's getting a bit of an air of celebrity at the moment you mean in footballing terms like genuinely yeah we can try

7:28Chris Stark: and get him a move I can't even imagine the sandy goalkeeper starts for like Eastleigh or something like that you never know that's what I'm saying we get your son to put a word in Sid it could happen he scored another good one I saw at the weekend as well Sid

7:43Tom Fordyce: Sid yeah saw that I know yeah Mini Sid he's doing well two goals in three games now yeah he's doing all right another goal another goal yeah so maybe he could stick one past the Zanti goalkeeper let's see I've got to warn you the video that has been sent back to me from BJ of the Zanti goalkeeper is quite aggressive is it really towards you

8:05Chris Stark: towards me is he is he coming do you want to do you want to say this alright hang on

8:20Chris Stark: well that feels like that's a challenge accepted right wow can we pencil out some some time for for me to take on this zante goalkeeper come to zante you piece of shit you're you're fucking shit you'll never score three penalties he's past me what a man I don't know what I just envisaged like a young lad like you know rather than doing shots he's doing goalkeeping it's a fucking local

8:55Chris Stark: oh no wow it's like it's a hustle isn't it they're earning so much money off people because he's genuinely quite good what's he saying there I've got to take three pens and score all three is that what he's saying I think or do I get five and score three. I think he said, Crouchy, you piece of shit. Come to Zanty. I got the piece of shit bit. It just couldn't work.

9:21Chris Stark: Tell me I was fucking crap.

9:28I think it was like, I bet you can't score one penalty. I reckon you get three chances. What to score one penalty? Do you fancy it? I don't think. I think, listen, I think, I think we have a bet.

9:41Chris Stark: We have a, we have, we got to go. We got to go do it. Yeah. I think we do it on his turf as well. We'll go away. Oh yeah. You know, we'll beat him in his own backyard. We'll go over there and we'll get this done. Yeah. It's about a four hour plane. Is it? It's four hours. I think so. Yeah, I'm sure we'll tie it in with getting lashed on the foot. We'll tie it in with drinking fish bowls down the fucking, wherever they do it in Jante. you've got to put him to bed I've been there for years

10:10Tom Fordyce: it's a great excuse

10:12Chris Stark: Crouchy you've got to put him to bed

10:13Tom Fordyce: you have to put him to bed road trip put him to bed on and off the pitch and then we'll get back home just imagine how massive that would be Crouchy like the crowd that would get drawn on the Zanty strip Crouchy versus the Zanty goalkeeper

10:30Chris Stark: brilliant alright let's get that on guys right mark that down right let's go in the diary we're all going over my wife will be thrilled we'll bring them they could be shot girls for the evening

10:51Chris Stark: see if we can draw them in

10:55Chris Stark: alright well I was going to chat about the Premier League season but his anti-goalkeeper seems to have taken president there obviously that great start to the season again a few shocks as well Hull beating Man United deserved to win got mauled by the Tigers got mauled by the Tigers don't give me that one what we what we I mean this not fan of it what are we saying what are we saying it was this one the mauling

11:18Tom Fordyce: yeah what are we saying about this come on that can't be won you're getting mauled by the Tigers yes mauled by the Tigers it's better than that you've got to give it claws as if you're clawing at it it's a double

11:31Chris Stark: oh come on do you know what it reminds me of have you ever seen Madagascar where the lion does the show and he goes

11:41he goes

11:42Chris Stark: oh they love it see I don't think there's anything better than a few thousand adult men clawing at another stand I don't know I mean you you mentioned there's a few games gone situations this weekend I don't know if you I don't know if that's I don't know if it's acceptable more by the time I know it's very PC isn't it but Do you like it? Yeah. All right. Well, listen, I'm really pleased with Hull. I'm really pleased with them. There are a couple of Games Gone things to bring to your attention, boys, just for contention for the board. I don't think I should go on Games Gone personally. I like...

12:19Chris Stark: It's too early because we all like them at the moment. You know, they've come up and they've destroyed Man United. And, you know, brilliant. I'm pleased with them. I think they've just got exactly a massive win. I think they've got to hit it with more confidence now. You can't have a few people... You nearly got to double down with the mauling. Have to. Have to. Roar as well as you do it. You've got to. Too many people going, oh, what's this? I was a bit taken aback by it, I'll be honest. You've got to back it. You work all week. Yeah. Pretend to be a tiger on the weekend. You know, back later, we'll get a takeaway.

13:02We'll whack on Ex-Fans. Give me three hours, right? I've drafted all week. I just need a bit of me time going to the football. If we're on a good role at the moment, I'll maybe bring a child with me or something like that. To then go to a stadium and maul.

13:17Chris Stark: I just think, how brilliantly British. I love it. There's something special about it, isn't there? Just going and losing yourself. You might have a really boring job, something really straight. We have to be really serious all week and then go and be a tiger at the weekend. And I want other clubs to embody, if you are an animal based club like that, you've got to get involved a bit, you know, the shrimps. Do you think you should? I don't know the shrimps. You wouldn't necessarily do. I think if you are, you know, if you have an animal as your mascot, you are nicknamed an animal, you need to embody that a bit better.

13:53A bit better, yeah.

13:55Chris Stark: They've shown the way, haven't they? Anyway, what have you got for Games Gone? Okay, Games Gone. there was Neil who spotted this and slid into my DMs. Crouchy, I think you're across this as well. It's from another league, but the reason I want to put it on the Games Gone Board is I just kind of want to nip it in the bud before it becomes the norm. It's some fans, as the referee after the game is moving into the tunnel, it's some fans shouting at the referee asking for his yellow card. Yeah. you know the same way you might ask a player SIDS for their shirt no yeah yeah he was and the worst thing is he was shouting what he was shouting at it was outrageous it was like rules ref rules I love rules good job refs I love you you guys did a great job I love rules get up hell yeah

14:53Chris Stark: yeah thank you I love rules just to be clear what's happened here Sid is the referee is walking to the tunnel this guy shouts you know can I have your card I love rules the ref has then turned around produced the yellow card as if he's about to book him actually he's done it one handed and everything you know as if he's about to slinging one and has then climbed up on a chair to pass the yellow card the only reason I want to put this on the game's gumball potentially is this is in another league. I worry if this is the way it's heading, we're not far off kids turning up with cardboard signs, you know, ref, can I have your card?

15:34Chris Stark: I think we nipped this in the bud like a couple of years ago. It was creeping in, wasn't it? True. And then we had, you know, we had full turnaround and supported the fourth, didn't we, for a little while. He gets a lot of abuse. And we need referees, don't we? But I just think that might be a step too far. The other one as well, Wolves have, released a statement saying they're going to ban the Liquidator before games because of the fans swearing in it. Hold on. So who's banning it? Chelsea? Wolves. Wolves play Liquidator as well? They play Liquidator as well. Do they? Do they? Apparently, yeah.

16:10Didn't know that. It's what I'm reading here. It basically says that they've banned...

16:12Tom Fordyce: I thought it was, oh, I know. Wolves are ampton. Everywhere we go. Obviously, the Liquidator is very,

16:18Chris Stark: very Chelsea-oriented. Is it wrong to tell?

16:26Chelsea

16:26Chris Stark: and if it was fuck off someone I think this is the part fuck off I'm trying to remember it but it was fuck off someone Tottenham maybe fuck off Tottenham is that Chelsea fuck off West Ham fuck off Chelsea West Ham oh okay that's what they say oh so they're like okay yeah I'll have to get back. I'm not really across that. Obviously, I know the songs that are very much played at Chelsea. I think it's the fuck off bit that they have a problem with in various contexts. But you're going to struggle to police that. Are you going to is swearing banned from football stadiums? No, I mean, has it been? I actually don't know.

17:11I don't know. I don't think it's, I think what it is is you can't encourage it necessarily.

17:16Tom Fordyce: Yeah. But there is, you know. Well, I'm just thinking referees away, you fat bastard. Exactly. These are staples.

17:25Chris Stark: These are institutions. It's a hard one to put on the Gamescom board, though, isn't it? Are you going to tell me now that, you know, people can't sing You Fat Bastard if someone's eating a pie in the stand? I just think the game's moving away from that now. Really? Yeah. I don't think you should. I'm being told. No, yeah. I don't want to shame anyone in anything. No, no, no. You mean it more in a celebratory way, don't you? I don't know. I just don't know where we're going. You know what I mean? I just don't... it's only week one of the Premier League season. These are all just things. They don't necessarily have to go on the board at the moment, but they're things that we just need to keep an eye on because there is a marker of where this season's heading.

18:02Chris Stark: Just monitor the situation. I don't want, you know, I don't want anything abusive at all in any way. I don't want anyone to feel bad when they leave a football match. No, no, no. But I do think that there is a time and a place where a swear word comes in. I mean, we use it sometimes on this podcast. We warn you before you listen to it, but sometimes it is needed. For certain things. Clive Tillsley said it to us once. He said, how we'd love to improve commentary for football would be that you're allowed one swear word at the right moment. Because one swear word in the right moment can be, you know, so powerful.

18:36Chris Stark: Well, I think, like, if you... For instance, I'm just thinking that Gerald Olympiacos strike, right? You know, instead of, ah, you beauty, you know, oh, fucking belter. Exactly. what a fucking strike yeah in his voice imagine that yeah you imagine I mean that'd go on in the ages wouldn't it for the ages yeah you know something incredible yeah or you know listen you know it's all stuff to ponder isn't it again it's only week one it's only week one anything that took your eye Sid over the course of the games a few eye openers I thought Liverpool looks a bit off it I thought Tottenham were miles off it Arsenal look good don't they poor Covins and Villa Villa was a Brian Puntin 33 minutes I think it was 4-up 4-up yeah

19:34Tom Fordyce: and yeah doesn't look good at Villa does it Oli Watkins that was a bit of a strange one wasn't it about him not being strong and they asked him about the interview after and they just said call him ask him as if he's going to sort of he's basically throwing him under the bus isn't he massively he did that he did quite I mean there were so many sort of memeable moments if you wanted to give it that phrase from this weekend including the Tottenham fan who just had his arms out I was in a bar in Estepona watching that going that's going to be played all season you know he's just there looking at them like but you know amazing but the Ollie Watkins the moment Emery goes silence you know what what an answer

20:16Chris Stark: yeah yeah you wouldn't want to cross Emery would you I think no I really like him I do so really like him do you remember you walked in on his office and he was watching the podcast unbelievable couldn't believe it the level of detail went into that I was interviewing him wasn't it and he obviously wanted to get to you know understand what I was about and he was watching the podcast and I just shudder to think what he was fucking watching there I mean can you imagine imagine me doing a penis 11 and he's trying to study. There was a spell where we were doing vagina 11s and stuff, you know, like what?

20:53Chris Stark: Can you imagine in his office he's watching that? Shattered to think. But anyway, you know, it just proves that he does his homework, right? Yeah, absolutely. On the Oli Watkins thing, so we haven't got all the information on that and I assume it will become more apparent this week. Am I right in thinking they've got, have they got Arsenal next weekend as well? So, It's a bit of a, it's a kind of horrendous timing thing if this isn't dealt with now, because it doesn't feel like they have many other options in that position. So it's clear that it wasn't a sort of club position to not have him there.

21:31Emery was clearly frustrated. If Watkins has gone and decided he's not playing, where do you stand on that sort of thing?

21:41Chris Stark: It's a difficult one with that. Like I think, I mean, it's Saudi, right? that's potentially in for him. There's no doubt he probably picked up the phone to Ivan Toney, you know, seed. Ivan Toney bagged about 25, 30-odd goals last season, didn't he? I mean, he's kind of done really, really well later in his career, Ollie Watkins, isn't he? And it's a huge payday for him, maybe. You know, it's, well, definitely. And you've been in this position before, though, where you have to, in a way, force an agenda. Do you know what, Chris? I would never I would never down tools I'm not saying Oli what because I know Oli a little bit I've met him a few times I wouldn't say that he'd be that type of person to do that like he's a good character you know but I always found that I always still trained hard always worked hard always been available for every game even if I wanted to leave there was a certain time at Southampton where Liverpool came in for me they'd just won the Champions League in Istanbul and we'd been relegated and I remember Harry and Rupert Lowe at the time who's the chairman, said that I couldn't go.

22:46Chris Stark: And I was like disappointed, as you'd imagine. But yeah, I still came in and trained. I never stayed at home or like I never downed towards. I don't think, you know, I think the club in general, like, you know, they reignited my career, Southampton, you know, like from nowhere. I wasn't sure if I was going to be a championship player. And then all of a sudden, Southampton gave me that lifeline, produced and ended up at Champions League Club. And I think that, you know, you can't lose sight of the fact that that's happened, right? Yeah. You kind of, they need to be respected. And I think Olly Watkins is the same, but I'm not saying that as a slight on Olly Watkins, because I actually think that he is a good lad.

23:28Chris Stark: We've not heard his side yet. Exactly. We've not heard his agent's side as well. So it's very unclear. But yeah, there seems to be some miscommunication.

23:36Tom Fordyce: How do you see it, Sis? No, I'm exactly the same. I probably see it in quite a diplomatic way where he's probably saying, look, because Aston Villa have had to sell a lot of players, big players as well, that we've seen in recent weeks. And then Villa, there's obviously, the transfer is the saga where it's the money. Villa will always say, look, there's a price tag. If they meet the price tag, we'll let you go. And then he's probably saying, well, look, I don't want to put myself on the pitch and play and possibly injure myself if there's a potential move to happen where you're just waiting for the transfer fee to be kind of accepted because I'd imagine that everything else has been kind of agreed, I'd imagine, really.

24:20Tom Fordyce: So I think he's got every right to go out the firing line. Okay, there's what, a week, 10 days is there before the window probably shuts to say, look, I'm going to take myself out the firing line. I don't want to get potentially injured and then scupper this move. If it all falls through, then fine, I'm here. I'm an Aston Villa player. So I think he's just basically stepped aside, which he's got every right to do as a player. Is that true? Is that, look, obviously I've never been in this position. You can just step aside like that, though. Because he is a player at a time where it feels to me they need that position.

24:55Chris Stark: Has that ever happened to you? Have you ever been in a position where you're like, you know, down in tools? Listen, I've trained with you since I know that even when you were kind of out the picture, you still trained harder than anyone.

25:08Tom Fordyce: Yeah, no, no. So the biggest problem for me was when I was going to Chelsea and I knew I was going to Chelsea towards the back end of the season when I was at Reading, I was still playing every single game and I was still playing every single game like it was my first game. So just because probably one, and I was being told actually from my agent and other people to go, look, you don't need to play these games. You know, the deal was done. You know, you've had a great season. Just see it out. If you get injured, then this could, you know, potentially the deal is done, it's broken. and I was like no no no I owe it to the club I owe it to Reading I've been a good servant and they've been good to me and you know I just I played how I just played how I trained and went through it whereas other people and we've seen them other people crouching you see all the time and they just go look I'm injured not playing and then that's when it starts becoming a little bit murky but I just don't get that mentality you know

25:59Chris Stark: do you I just don't get that mentality of like because even if you're just keeping you sharp for like the for the next game you know just being around the games and you know the minute you kind of take yourself out of it you can get a bit lazy a bit complacent it becomes a bit easy like i just think you're best just given everything like so it's better than training isn't it like you're training on your own well this is what i think we saw over the weekend you see these teams that were promoted having a real proper go and and getting results from it as well is that is is that is that a little bit of what you're saying there is in some teams maybe being a bit complacent in getting going at the start of a season versus the kind of fight of these newly promoted teams and the excitement of it.

26:47Or is there something a little bit deeper going on there? Like, should Tottenham fans be as worried as what we've been saying? Do you know what I think?

26:55Chris Stark: I think this is like physicality now in the Premier League is such a big thing. When I was at the Spurs-Brentford game and I looked at how strong and quick and the desire and the attitude of some of these Brentford players like credit to the manager and obviously recruitment as well like the players players they've got all of them are like massive strong quick like they all got the hunger desire do you know what I mean like it goes a long way like you can have all the talent in the world you know at your disposal but if you if you haven't got those things then you're going to struggle in the Premier League now look at Arsenal the best team in the Premier League now like you're not bullying them are you you're not they're strong like talented all of them are built and fitness, like they're real fit.

27:39And I think if you don't have

27:42Chris Stark: that physicality now in the Premier League, it's always been the case, but I think now more than ever, because, you know, there was this period where I think where Arsenal, you know, dominated and they had quite a lot of kind of smaller players, technical players, Man City dominated for years. But I think now, now more than ever, it's the physicality in the Premier League is so important. Yeah, you saw, I mean, you saw it with Hull as well. And obviously, naturally after I tipped Man United to win the Premier League they'd go on to lose in that manner as well it was written in the stars it certainly was yeah but I mean exciting are you are you saying though in terms of a marker for how the season could or probably would play out in your experience when you start the season does it take a bit to get going do you know what happened right so we we this whole podcast right I know we've talked a lot about the opening day because it wasn't really interesting but this podcast originally was going to be about the first day of the season you know like our first days and stuff like that and I actually did a little bit of research on the way up here today yeah and I was fucking dog shit on the first day of the season yeah yeah I played 17 Premier League matches I think I won too really yeah yeah I couldn't believe it I know the draws and I don't think I scored in the opening day ever no yeah so yeah I was I was useless because I think there is a massive crowd expectation in that first game to see what your team's about you know with the changes that have happened over the summer Sids and the hope exactly yeah

29:12Tom Fordyce: it's every fan's dream it's every fan's first moment before a ball is kicked at whether it's 12.30 on the Saturday or the Friday night game or the 3 o 'clock on the Saturday before your first team first team's game of the season is that one bit of glimmer that one bit of hope where are you going to be the next Leicester is your team going to survive that season? I always found that I think I've done it a couple of times where I played a newly promoted team the first game of the season and when that fixture has come out and we'd play whoever got promoted so for instance, Hull v Man United as a Man United player I would have been That's the worst one It's the worst one 100 % It's the worst one

30:01Chris Stark: Well, it's a part of this carnival. It's carnival time, isn't it? All the fans are up for it. There's scarves, atmosphere. Players are steaming into tackles early doors. Fans are mauled. Oh my God, you get mauled everywhere. It's actually the worst one to play, isn't it?

30:17Tom Fordyce: It is. I've been on both sides. So when we got promoted at Reading, we played Middlesbrough at home. We was 2-0 down at half-time. We're thinking, blads, we've not even laid a glove on these yet. and then was it 2-0 down? I think it was 2-1 2-0 down and then we come back we won 3-2 so and again the atmosphere in the stadium is brilliant we're obviously going on a high leaving the stadium going brilliant first Premier League game you know debut got a win I scored on it as well it was like great feeling this is what I was waiting for you to say this is the important bit here that's the difference between them and SIDS SIDS will always score first yeah we will we will so be fair I've actually scored I've scored a few on the opening day yeah that's true yeah it's true do you guarantee one every time Sid on opening day I'd have to look at the records but I've scored a few on the opening day of the season I've scored one at Reading I've scored one at definitely scored a couple at Reading I remember Ipswich away I scored opening day and it's always that one as well sometimes where you know where whatever a broadcaster is where it's a matter of day they have that sometimes where they just they have that shot of the thermometer next to the pitch and it's like it's a hot day here today pitch sign is 42 degrees

31:41Chris Stark: oh my god do you remember the thermometer every time it's so good it's a scorcher at Craven Cottage yeah exactly what the oh that's another one Fulham

31:50Tom Fordyce: where's that gone Fulham I scored on the open day at Fulham against Norwich I've scored I think there's three go to the hell I've scored a few on the open day He's rattling them off here. He does. Every time he guarantees you one goal, one sweet goal.

32:04Chris Stark: No way. Opening day, yeah. I struggled when I was looking for it. I remember the worst opening day was Portsmouth. We played, we had a great pre-season, really good. And we went to Chelsea and we got absolute, I think, I reckon we had about 10 % possession and they absolutely destroyed us. I think it's 4-0. It could have been, it might have been, it might have been more than that. but Deco do you remember Deco yeah he I thought I thought this this this Valeria is the new Maradona he's the best player I've ever seen in my life he was doing things just absolutely dominating like killing us he was just popping up in areas you couldn't control him at all it never really happened for him Deco did it Chelsea but no

32:47Tom Fordyce: no he didn't get going didn't get going I don't think you can read too much into the first game again previous experience we at Reading this season that we went up from the Championship to the Premier League, we lost the first game of the season to Plymouth 2-1. And if you'd have asked for any game in the Championship, Plymouth at home would have been your banker, really. It would have been the equivalent of Man U playing Hull, probably vice versa, at Old Trafford. And Plymouth beat us, and we got booed off the pitch. And we're thinking, I'm coming off there thinking, the first day, booed off the pitch at Reading, and we had a big sort of influx of players as well, players left, players come in.

33:32Tom Fordyce: And I remember looking around going, this could be, this could be a bad season. And then we go on a massive unbeaten run, you know, get promoted record points. So I still think people are finding... Do you feel that maybe the players' attitude and the fans' expectations weren't matching up and that very quickly had to change for the whole team? did it give an intensity or was it just horrible? No, it was horrible it was horrible and luckily enough you know what it's like in a championship we played Brighton about three days after on a Tuesday away at Brighton and we went there we smashed them and then that just put us back on the road really but yeah I think you'd like to get off to a flying start if you could score great if you're a striker or if you're a midfield player to try and get a goal but I still feel you're finding your feet the first two, three games and after that you should be then into the zone.

34:32Chris Stark: Quite often you haven't played, you might have only played 190 minutes the whole pre-season. You haven't played loads of games, have you? Especially if you come back, like if you play for England for instance, you come back quite late and you miss a lot of the pre-season so then you're catching up and it does take you a while to get going. I wouldn't read too much into it. I think I'm pleased for Ripsch, pleased for Hull. You know, some great performances, Everton, they did well. But I wouldn't read too much into the opening day. Very quickly, the display at St. James Park about Kevin Keegan with the Newcastle fans and the Liverpool fans was one of the greatest things I've seen.

35:17And especially for an opening weekend. Incredible organisation. what a moment

35:24Chris Stark: but I mean you know isn't that amazing the two two sets of fans and two clubs that he touched like insane amount like those two I mean what a player and manager for the clubs you know certainly with Newcastle obviously and I know Liverpool he's an absolute legend as well so it was a good send off for him I think you know a man who's an absolute legend in the game yeah

35:54Chris Stark: okay should we move into some uh some messages uh alan lake uh 257 he says uh hey fellas blakey the blue nose brummy here uh great to have the threesome back in the chumbawamba it's just a two-some at the minute um just missionary at the moment uh i've got a joke here for chris uh it's one I heard many years ago. Obviously, Chris is doing his stand-up comedy routine soon. Looking forward to that? No. Great. That's the whole point. Why do monkeys have red balls for camouflage in cherry trees? Then when no one laughs, you follow straight in with, what's the loudest sound in the jungle? Giraffes eating cherries.

36:37That's really good.

36:39Chris Stark: I mean, do you think that's really good? I mean, yeah start with that then have you go I don't know I don't know I think this comedy thing has got mixed up into like no one really knows what the fuck it is comedy yeah but when you go see a stand-up comedian they they're not just reeling off jokes are they no I mean they're not no they're telling stories it's like they almost trick you into thinking these you're just having a chat with them do you know what I mean yeah but what I think you're angling for me to do here is just read little jokes which is fine we can do that it's going to be horribly awkward no listen it's your set don't let me get involved you know what I mean you just do what you do yeah enjoy it go out and enjoy it me and Cins will be supporting you all the way all the way okay well Patrick Rowan says Chris doesn't need any more jokes to use that is in his stand-up show.

37:42Chris Stark: The crowd will piss themselves when he says, man, United will win the league. I should have just said Arsenal, shouldn't I? I knew what you're trying to do. You know, it's the clickbait vibe. I understand what you're trying to do. It's the world we live in, mate. It's the world we live in. You were thinking, I can't just go boring. You know, people are going to switch off. Let's spice it up. And you know, you did spice it up. It was great. So well done for you. You put your neck on the line there. put your head above the parapet get absolutely shot you're absolutely shat on I've got another joke from Ben Regan if you want to hear it he says a man walks into a bar pulls out I've heard this one he pulls out a tiny piano from one pocket and a one foot tall man from his other pocket the tiny man starts playing the bartender asks where he got him from and the customer replies there's a nearby genie granting wishes so the bartender goes outside and asks the genie for a million bucks.

38:37Chris Stark: He walks back to the bar surrounded by a load of ducks. The barman says, that genie isn't very good. I asked for a million bucks. He gave me a million ducks. The customer replied, do you really think I asked for a 12-inch pianist?

39:00Chris Stark: No, I think that is the type of gag. Like, I think, you can mention Ben Regan here. it's really funny that's a story it goes to different places and it ends well but what are you imagining then so I'm in a comedy club right and I whip my phone out and say Ben Regan's just messaged me he's man walks into a bar or do I have to do what standard comedians do where it's like you make it about yourself so with Ben's joke here it'll be you know I walked into a bar the other day and then what was the next bit took out a tiny piano from one pocket the one foot man yeah you've got to learn it the delivery's got to be a little bit better than that shall I just do five minutes on the tiny man piano well yeah just talk about the tiny man I mean it's really interesting have you seen the one with the tarmac the man orders two pints what's that this sounds offensive no no no it's offensive just relax relax you're so worried these days just relax

40:09Chris Stark: game's gone here fucking hell this is this is Peter Crouch pod after hours I have to say we are recording this it's 6.45 now and we have had a few bits but it's not gonna be it won't be anything bad man he's got like you know a piece of tarmac under his arm and he orders two points and the barman says wide two and he said one for me and one for the road

40:38yeah you see they're all good jokes aren't they i don't know if i need to do something more like physical comedy do you know what i mean like if i need to do something i like physical comedy i don't know really i mean what else i think i

40:52Chris Stark: need an angle here oh listen listen that's i think let's think about it off off yeah you're We're doing a podcast. Sean Gallagher says, hello, gents. Regards to the families. I'm getting a lot of regards to your families, you know, everywhere I go. Had it on the plane today. Yeah, really nice. I like it. Literally with my family there as well. Beautiful. There they are. That really worked. Regards to them. Because remember where this all stemmed from? I was with my family and someone shouted barbecue. Yeah. Yeah. And I was like, come on, we need to do something. We need to do something about this, yeah.

41:26Chris Stark: were you did you feel did you get to a point where you were like you know my family's suffering here they shouldn't hear this well they shouldn't hear that no they shouldn't but I mean we've all had about 10 different nicknames at the time this podcast it was a different time pancakes you know I mean you've had about 10 yourself do you know what it was really interesting the other day as well like I was actually at the airport and someone just recognised me quickly and just went oh it's do by Des I forgot about that one I find the weirdest could we do by death but the weirdest when people act as if it's like there's no weirdness around the situation so I was in Malaga airport and all of us in a lift and I'm stressing and I'm sweating and I'm pulling this fucking little trunky along you know little trunky my little boy's on that I'm pulling another bag in the thing guy's lift he's like oh floor one floor one to go to the car rental bit as he gets out he goes have a good one Chris it's like why like why don't we why don't we have a chat or something like it's just I like the ones that are just very much like discreet you know the ones like regards to your families yeah and then just shoulder, shoulder off I just I find it it's a touch of class

42:42Tom Fordyce: it is class I got just a quick one lads I got the complete opposite coming out here actually at the airport at the airport in Heathrow in due free was in like the aftershave section and the woman was serving us well me and my wife and my eldest teenager youngest teenager Lenny and someone walked past and went alright fire pubes fire pubes that's it yeah in front of this lady and it was as though she thought like I knew this person obviously I didn't He listens to the pod. And there was a kind of sort of awkward silence and it was just too long-winded to explain the whole situation. But, yeah.

43:33Chris Stark: It's little things like, they know the whole family, you know, like, we'll walk in, you know, it'll be like, you know, Dubai Des, you know, there's San Marino and ours little baby Divrat. Yeah, exactly. I'm like, I'm with them all. They're like, there's Divrat, San Marino. It's so nice because even like with my wife, what was happening, Sid, so just to like refresh on that, was whenever I put up a picture of my wife, everyone underneath was writing, Jason punching, punching, punching, punching, all of this. And we, do you remember, we spoke about it and we were like, look, if you actually want to help me in this situation, like I totally agree with what you're all saying, but actually if you go - It's all factually correct.

44:08If you go the other way with it, it will really help me out. And then it really went the other way. It was all comments underneath every photo going like, oh, how she done that? You know what? she's asking me what's happened here like why am i getting pelters i'm like you're not babe it's just like the books have been balanced and like it's not you don't even go that way as well my favorite were the ones going thank you for lending me your ferrari yeah all this you know thank you for what you did to to like you know the little uh orphanage down the road sort of

44:49Chris Stark: they made you look like phenomenal exactly and and and like the thing is you ask the listeners to do that and the fact that they've actually complied with that i think it's special it's a special group of people we've built here exactly that i always feel like when i if i put up a picture of my wife i always like think oh god here come the comments you can tell who's a podcast listener and and who isn't because the obvious people right on there you know jason punchin you know or even just a boxing glove emoji the real podcast listeners i know will put on something there which will like you know will try and big me up because you know we'll see me for what i am a real bang average bloke from watford like there is nothing redeemingly special about like no there isn't really that's not true no but we've worked on this podcast thing for a while and you know a a few beers in, we can say, I always feel very lucky to be here and all of that.

45:50So when you then get this wave of support, It's brilliant, isn't it? you know, and these false claims of success around you, you know, she must notice it. But you know what?

46:00Chris Stark: Like, even if it starts as a joke, there's a little bit of that, you know, like people like that validation, right? You know, that little, those little comments of like, you've done so well for her. And she might go, there might be one that resonates. Just one. and she goes I have done well she just needs to see a few fellas in going god I wish I looked like him you know you know it sort of trickles a bit doesn't it I just think so I just think it's a call to arms and we can all help each other out we can like equally if you ever need a sort of pepping up or something like that we can pile in underneath one of your pics and just blow you up a little bit you know just sort of you know imagine Crouchy just replies underneath one of your Instagram photos you know where'd you get that shirt little things things little tiny things beautiful pair of shoes yeah where'd you get your shoes from mate looking great today if ever you feel like you just need just one or two little favors from our side of things just tag me sidz or crouchy in on instagram and you never know we might just well i just love your shoes mate yeah we'll just fire a couple in yeah cool fantastic haircut yeah really stylish all right let's get to sean gallagher he says hello gentle guards here's a random one.

47:13Chris Stark: Watching Man United versus AC Milan friendly here. Just thinking, who decides which football gets used in these fixtures? I'm sure the Prem sides want to use their official ball. The same for Serie A, you know, La Liga teams wanted to use their league's official ball. But I asked AI, but it's talking bollocks. So I thought I'd ask the experts. The game may be gone, but the new season is upon us. So the game's back. Cheers. Schoenaldo. He calls himself Schoenaldo. That really is, I mean, arguably going to be one of the best emails we've had yeah fantastic all season what a question do either of you know that?

47:49Chris Stark: there is a I would say yeah I think it would just be a sponsor for that particular friendly yeah

47:57Tom Fordyce: that or I would say they would use if it was at Manchester United I'd say they'd use a Premier League ball and if it was in Milan they'd use their league ball listen Sid

48:10Chris Stark: we played when I played out in America Japan we played various different preseason we would use I remember a couple of times we used their ball first half and our ball second half we'd done like that but also we would ask oh can you use this ball what totally different ball half time yeah we'd done that a few preseason games that feels almost illegal because we'd bring our own balls with us so that'd be like our balls we'd warm up with them use them and then they'd bring their own balls, which would be their league. But I think, like nowadays, I reckon there'd be a different ball for each. You've even spoken about this before.

48:49You would notice a difference between them.

48:52Chris Stark: There's some difference. But that's what I mean. So how can you switch a ball at half-time? That feels, you're making a totally different game. Yeah, well it is. But it's going to benefit the person that's... You're now talking about homing away balls. Yeah, yeah. But there is. Listen, I remember, I was a ball boy at Chelsea and everyone used a certain ball. And Chelsea, remember Chelsea had the Umbro ball years ago? And it was totally different to, I think it was only them and Man United maybe that used it because they were Umbro as well. And everyone else used a different ball. It was weird because that was such a different ball and it felt bigger than the FA Cup ball's different.

49:27Chris Stark: You don't realise how much the ball makes a difference. That's why I'm surprised you'd be allowed, I suppose it's a friendly, so you know, inconsequential, but that you'd switch it up half-time. An amazing question, Sean Aldo. It's a great question, Sean Aldo. I hadn't even thought of that. Also, Sean Aldo, it's a question we haven't got a fucking clue about. But nor is AI. Yeah, yeah. You know, ours and AI, I have no idea. If I could be bothered to look it up, I'd look it up myself. Talking of one balls,

50:02Tom Fordyce: the ball from the Maradona, Hand of God. Have we seen that? just got sold for 2.5 million quid. They were hoping for 10, right? They're actually a bit disappointed.

50:13Chris Stark: I was about to say there, that I feel that's undervalued. Yeah, I think so. Yeah. I do. It's a lot of money, but no one's saying it's not a lot of money and I would love it here in the Chumble One Bar if you want to go for it, Crouchy. But I think 2.5 million, there's a lot of very, very, very rich people who are football fans. I think you can get five or ten in a few years I think that's a good investment yeah two and a half that's too low do you know I noticed I was again I saw this on holiday it was even the sort of local TV that we're watching maybe in between the football and they were talking about this auction and it was almost like a bit last minute they've gone shit we're not going to sell this thing for enough money so we'll get a load of press around it and you know try to drum up a bit of a two million four it is the ball that is touched by the hand of God he has touched with that with his hand yeah that is for me that's better than a shirt let alone let alone the goal that's scored and yeah the other goal do you have a great the greatest though I mean is there real validation on this ball like how much validation is there well there must be it must be authenticated and it must you know I'm sure I'm sure they've I'm sure they can prove it it's not a small amount of money two and a half minute but we're talking about a sport that is worth billions and the most, I mean, what could even potentially be more iconic memorabilia than that?

51:38Chris Stark: Can you imagine, right, if you came in here now, right, and I went, have a look at that. And Maradona scored the hand of God with that. And you bought it pissed online. Seriously, like what? When you were selling your signed cards. I think that's unbelievable. I think that's the best, maybe one of the best pieces of sporting memorabilia. I can't think, even if you were to hypothetically get another bit of sports memorabilia, right? Have a quick think now. Is there anything that beats that? All I can think is they've got the crossbar at Wembley, haven't they? You know, which obviously. Well, Jeff Hurst bounced it off.

52:21Exactly. Yeah. Yeah. Jeff Hurst, hat-trick ball would be,

52:25Chris Stark: would be a good one for England. You'd still go Maradona. I just think worldwide, if you're looking for an investment, you know, in England, that's a massive for us. But I'm talking globally. I just don't know what you can physically buy in football that would be sort of a greater bit of memorabilia. So look, a lot of money, but not as much as they thought. If you are listening and you have bought this ball, you know, you're welcome to bring some security guards in. We just put it up for like, for one day. just have it here and have a look at it it could be a new series isn't it like especially with me having one ball as well it could be like a one ball that changed the game you know and we get we get a few of these I don't know we're sort of brainstorming as we go here basically if you own the Maradona ball bring it in please yeah please that's exactly what you'd like I'd like to just see it and I think it'd be I think it'd be pretty magical to have it it looked deflated on the picture I might say it looked like but then I don't know if you'd want it pumped up do you know what no no no I wouldn't want it pumped up I want it to not used

53:38Chris Stark: right next part of the podcast is supported by Paddy Power saw the new advert by the way very good one no it's good yeah Danny Dyer's amazing yeah I just had a little little cameo in this one I sometimes like it when you have just the little yeah I enjoyed it little but often yeah perfect it was an interesting day really good day out I think Danny had done his little bit before me actually but really hot day and yeah it was the bit where he's filming the training and I'm playing golf and I just say to him why are you filming the whole concept is why do we do this stuff why why the football not and when you think about some of the things that we do as football fans as as players you know for someone who's not into football I think they find it very hard to understand why why we do these things yeah I know what you mean it's this whole why the football not Sid have you seen it?

54:36yeah brilliant

54:37Tom Fordyce: yeah I've seen the advert crouchy acting skills are just second to none I mean they're getting better and better I know this is a small a smaller cameo really compared to what you normally do but I keep saying it you've got to go to Hollywood mate it's got to be a matter of time I think maybe start EastEnders

54:54Chris Stark: I think Hollywood you know we were in Hollywood I think any calls when we were over there for the World Cup but I think a small role in EastEnders could be good 100 % like if you're in the background delivering post or something could be phenomenal well if Emmanuel Petit could be in the bill that's true I feel like I could do this on the advert what I like about this is it's very very us it feels like Like where some people might sort of turn their nose up at some of the weird behaviours that you do when you're a football fan. We're quite celebratory of those quirks on this podcast. As you say, it's a bit like if aliens invaded Earth and looked at some of the stuff we did, maybe this is why they haven't invaded so far.

55:42You know, they go, they're fine. They're not a threat. I don't know.

55:45Chris Stark: I think they're just still observing. They're probably just thinking, you need to understand them a little bit more. you know why are they mauling at man united they're not tigers so does this kind of does this mix with sort of traditions as well like little things people well it's little things like you know like you know did the fandom um yeah listen to your bedrooms uh people why for instance that brighton the brighton fan at the liverpool was dressed as a seagull why it does it does raise the question imagine being that man and going I'm going to wear it I'm going to wear it for the whole game yeah I'm going to be a seagull the whole game so true there's so many little things we all do isn't there I kiss a little what are they called you know with the big heads and the little bodies little Corinthian things

56:36Tom Fordyce: oh the little figures the little yeah the little figures yeah I kiss a little Alan Shearer before every England game do you really yeah just a little one there just give them a little kiss on the head there

56:45Chris Stark: We're like Fartes and... It's just a little... Like Fartes and Laurent Blanc. I just pass him, just give him a quick... Do you? I don't know, it's just what I do. I do others, the England game. Me and my mate did this. Have we ever spoken about this? We did the Candle of... John, it's all coming up now, isn't it? The Candle of Hope ceremony. I did it before a game you were playing in. I always... Did you? Yeah. You did the Candle of Hope? So his dad, so we'd watch it often in my best mate's parents' house growing up. We'd be in their living room. And his dad was a big football fan, Papa Roy is his name.

57:19Might as well give him a shout out. And he'd pick up like a family candle and I'd do a reading of, you know, that Kipling If, you know, the one that's in Mike Bassett, you know, if you do, you'll be a man, my son. We did that before every England game and try and get you guys across the line, you know. Yeah, we did it. They're an England church. Then when my best mate got married, we did it as the best man speech, full on candlelight. These are things we do. Yeah. I feel weird explaining it. No,

57:51Chris Stark: yeah, no. I've got a few weird little things myself. Some I don't want to share really. But, why, because sinister or? No, no, it's actually, it's really, really innocent. It's quite nice in fact. Yeah. But, I kind of like, it's very personal. But I like the feel of what you're doing in this advert because I feel like it's almost a safe space for people to, can almost confess, but bring to the table the things that they do, which probably from the outside, whether it's your missus thinking you're a little weird for it or someone who's not into football thinking you're a little weird for it, but you do it because you love football.

58:27It's for the love of the game.

58:29Chris Stark: Exactly right. If you're a grown man and you put on a specific pair of pants, you know, your missus is going to look at you and think you're a loser. Yeah. To be quite honest. But what we're saying as a football community, and I think at Paddy Power, is that we support that and we understand why you do it. And we want to know more of them. Am I right in this? I think Paddy Powell want to hear more of these stories. That's kind of, you've done the advert. They want to hear a few more of the stories. We're probably the perfect home for that. Why the football not? Why the football not, yeah. I do like it.

59:01Tom Fordyce: So get in touch, guys. Yeah, if anyone's done any crazy stuff, sentimental stuff, I don't know, sold a kidney to go and watch their team play in a cup final, then let us know. That kind of stuff.

59:13Chris Stark: Why the football nut? Well, okay, let's get into the Football League. Chris, you outsourced some points here. I did. Fair play to you. You're on four points. You got a correct score. It was the Arsenal Coventry game. Unbelievable. Unbelievable. I've got to say as well, when the scores go out on Instagram, if you're not following us on Instagram, give us a follow because the predictions go up on there and you can sort of track it along the weekend. All the comments that I saw on there, there were so many sweet comments. So thank you if that was you. buzzing to be off the mark. Fucking great start, mate.

59:46Chris Stark: That's a really, really good start, that. And I had 4-0. And I think they scored early enough, you know what I mean? It could have been 4. I think if they had gone for it, it could have been a bit frustrating there. All right, well, let's swiftly move on from last week, anyway, and get straight into this week. We've got Aston Villa versus Arsenal, which is the big weekend fixture from Paddy Power. Aston Villa versus Arsenal. I mean, Villa's an awful start for them. They've been a massive underdogs now at five to one. Arsenal are the favourites at one to two, away from home. I mean, this will be a test for Arsenal.

1:00:23Chris Stark: Villa, they're no mugs. That was an awful day. They'll react well. I know there's a little bit of kind of chaos in and around Villa at the moment, but I still think they'll give them the game. Yeah. Do you know? You've built it up. No, I'll still go for Arsenal. Oh, it's so... hard this isn't it I don't know I mean obviously we're back to the predictions now we've got to be I've got to be sensible I cannot lose this league again I was tempted to outsource this week to the Zanti goalkeeper but I only thought of it on the plane home I don't want to hear from him again and he apparently his working hours aren't until like 10 o 'clock Zanti time tonight so there just isn't what does he do during the day does he just like sleep in and then just go out goalkeeping at 10pm.

1:01:13This is my new favourite rivalry since you and Alsatians. Yeah. There is some sort of beef between Peter Crouch and the Zante goalkeeper.

1:01:22Chris Stark: Listen, we'll go out there and we'll take it to him. I'm telling you now, we're going to go in his own backyard. It is tricky, this one. I mean, it's very hard to see past Arsenal after this weekend just gone. And they look so confident. So, so confident. All right. Well, listen, you know, it's interesting. We've got Konza as well. who's been stolen going back there I I am I'm going to I'm going to throw one out there right I'm going to go I think Villa will give them a game I'm going to say two all it's controversial I just

1:01:57Tom Fordyce: I I don't think there's going to be a bounce back from Villa they're missing big players they've sold who they've sold Tielemans Rodgers Lucadinha Concer Oli Watkins possibly might not be playing again I think Arsenal are going to have too much I'm going to go Arsenal 2-0 away win I hate this league how have we started up

1:02:22Chris Stark: ruins my life every week 3-0 it's gone 3-0 alright listen we've got Paddy's boost we each pick a leg of the CrouchPod bet builder the odds on that bet builder will then be boosted by 20 % it'll be put on a special section of the website or app I'm going to go first I'm going to say Kai Havertz gets the first goal

1:02:39Tom Fordyce: yeah so player to be carded lads I think let's go for Pau Torres nice and a player to have two plus shots on target I will go Saka

1:02:49Chris Stark: okay the odds are correct at the time of recording please gamble responsibly okay moving swiftly on to Liverpool versus Nottingham Forest I don't know what you made of Forest I wasn't too convinced by Liverpool do you want to go first Sid?

1:03:05Tom Fordyce: okay I will go for not convinced on both I'm going to go for a unconvincing 1-0 Liverpool win

1:03:15Chris Stark: alright I'm going to jump in there Chris Wilde's dallying 2-0 Liverpool take your time please just take your time take your time

1:03:25Tom Fordyce: I'm only 5 hours in front

1:03:30Chris Stark: what else could you be doing? what are you going to do Sid? is it midnight? like that he's naked look at the boy he's grafting his nuts off out there do you follow him on Instagram are you actually on Instagram I can't figure out if it's you or not yeah so I have a peak every now and then I'm not very like I don't I don't really do much on there you don't no no but I do peak I'm a peaker we'll have a look we'll have a look I've seen Sids in Maldives right so have you seen him fishing no I didn't see fishing no Sids I'd had some beers right It's just coming back to me. And I saw you on some sort of canoe fishing, I think it was, or some sort of vessel.

1:04:14And then he's got a smear of fish.

1:04:18Tom Fordyce: Has he really? Prolific. Prolific fisherman. Just got to provide for the family. So that was, quickly, that was sunset fishing. And believe it or not, yeah, I am five hours in front and I'm going sunrise fishing, I swear, at six o 'clock in the morning. No, not tomorrow. It's five hours ahead now. What time is it there, Sid? What time are we? We're midnight. We've just gone past midnight.

1:04:45Chris Stark: Midnight, son. Listen.

1:04:47Tom Fordyce: Yeah. You've done worse than that in your life.

1:04:49Chris Stark: Plenty of time. Of course we have. We'll have a look. We'll have a look. Can you give us a fucking answer? Last game. Slid wants to get to bed. 2-1, please. He wants 2-1. alright we gotta move quickly on to Spurs versus Newcastle always a good game this I don't know I just feel like these are two clubs that entertain me yeah having said that I think it'll be I think it'll be tighter this one I thought Newcastle played well the other day I thought they were a bit unlucky against Liverpool with the penalty and such I think Tottenham were really poor they can't be that poor again they can't be they can't surely they can oh it was real poor oh I don't know it's so weird this situation isn't it because it just feels like the whole narrative is much of the same as last season which feels you know is it a tad harsh because it's one game of the season it's one game of the season right they spent a lot of money but they were one point ahead they almost got relegated last year by one point I know do you know what I mean everyone's saying top four you know because they spent a load of money without doing the whole Jason Cundey sort of encouraging signs thing.

1:06:04I, when I was watching that game, admittedly, again, few beers in a holiday bar, so spirits were heightened. I thought with 20 minutes left to go, they were attacking. I thought, I actually thought they'll get a goal here and then they'll get this back and that would be the story. And actually the opposite happened. They were dead after that point.

1:06:25Chris Stark: I don't know, like that midfield, I think you did, I mean, next to me, you had van der Ven Javi Simmonds Porro Kudus yeah you know they've got to come back in Madison didn't start Benton Kerr didn't start they all came on Solanke came on Kulusevsky's not fit yet they did have chances they just it's not all doom and gloom is what I'm saying I think they will I think they'll get better will they get better you know instantly I'm not so sure you go first Chris I just think it's such a sort of fever sort of storm around this whole thing so I think it is going to continue sadly and I sort of don't will it to I would rather see them rise people shaking their heads at me which is my just say a score shut up listen if you haven't guessed it Sid's got fishing tomorrow Zara Larson I'm in the night's sun just oh mate You've been away every week as long as I remembered.

1:07:33Chris Stark: Look at him. He's just... I've got one already. I've got one already. I've got him. I've got him. What a nibble. All right. 2-1 to Newcastle. All right. I'm going to go for one all. Oh, you mother. Coca-Huntus? I was going to say that. Do you remember that photo of Orlando Bloom on a... On a parapord. Didn't he have his penis out? he had to pull him dong out and everything that's Sid in a couple of hours Sid's in a couple of hours smearing fish Sid's the kind of lad who dives in with a knife in his mouth oh yeah

1:08:10Tom Fordyce: Rambo style right I'm going to go 2-1 2-1 Spurs go on Fishwell Steve Fishwell

1:08:22Chris Stark: alright well listen that concludes I think the Paddy Power segment the football segment the best league in the world please gamble responsibly alright yeah well I enjoyed that one I think we are going to have a little refresher in the Chumba 1 bar at some stage if I look down here and some of the things that I see just you know like there's a mouse a wireless mouse it's like a storage what's that microphone thingy there's a shirt there's things that need to go up here I just think, you know, it feels like we're hiding things behind the camera. Like the wired keyboard just feels like this might need a woman's touch.

1:09:08Chris Stark: Do you feel like that, Chris? I don't know. It feels like there's a little bit of disrespect behind the scenes. Who's the name in kind of, is it Stacey Solomon, the name in sort of tidying and, you know, that Marie Kondo thing? Oh yeah, I'm sure Stacey Solomon's involved in that. My wife tried to get into that. She suggested that it's like, you have a wardrobe but only with five t-shirts in do you know what I mean rather than overcrowding it so you know I've moved house recently and I'm doing up the house at the moment we've got loads of stuff in storage I'm thinking about potentially leaving it there or donating it or something like I've got you know if there's a really long man out there that needs some clothes what do you mean when you say when you say leaving it there well I'm just I'm just thinking like I'm alright do you know what I mean like Like I'm getting by with like five t-shirts and I think I've got three pairs of trousers and maybe three pairs of shorts and a few undies.

1:10:04Yeah, well, mate, there's a really popular show called Storage Hunters, right? If you were willing to let one podcast listener win your storage. Well, I just think it's... And we dump all of it on them.

1:10:16Chris Stark: Okay. It's been a continuing thread throughout today, really, with your cards and the Maradona ball. What about we auction off some of these items for charity? Do you know what I mean? Well, like every week. Yeah. Every week. Like even as a little prize. It could be anything. Like it could be, it could be an England cap. It's a mystery box. It could be an England cap or it could be some old socks. We do, we do reverse, right? You don't know what you're going to win. And we reveal it on the podcast each week. So we pick a name out. Perfect. It's Sean Aldo or whoever it was that messaged earlier, right?

1:10:50Pick a name out of the hat. And here's what you're going to be winning. Sean Aldo. Oh, look, it's so something from my storage box

1:10:59Chris Stark: is one thing yeah is all right but I we can lucky it could be it could be incredible it could be Ronaldo's shirt yeah right yeah okay well if I've got in there I'll we'll go in it and we'll pick something out and we'll donate it I love it it could be a thing wow brilliant right well listen I think we do this right it's happening there's loads of stuff that I don't need I actually don't you know it might be better somewhere else and if you are I think definitely get in touch if you're a tall slender gentleman hunk of a man because there'll be some good stuff the trousers are hard to come by at my height I think it's the unpredictability of it that I really like that you could win something incredible absolutely incredible it could be like something just completely shit but either way but either way it's all good fun isn't it alright well listen I think we're going to create this game through Instagram apparently the youngsters are telling me there'll be a meeting about it it'll all be worked out it'll be worked out there'll be something on Instagram and you could win the contents of my storage box and I think the best thing to do is obviously Sid you coined the phrase Shaniqua's box we could pull we could pull it from Shaniqua's box and the name from her box yeah absolutely that would be the dream and next time rod stewart appears on the podcast the dream would be him drawing your name out i mean don't rule it out don't rule it out all right we'll see you next time chumble one bun regards your families hey guys it's drew from the comment section some days my skin just needs a little coverage and other days i want to go full glam for those everyday moments like running errands or grabbing coffee, I've been loving the Merit Minimalist Stick because it's a foundation and concealer in one that gives me a really natural skin-like finish.

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