Why Everyone Thinks They’re Good at Bowling & Darts Of Destiny Finale Drama! | New Years Eve Special

0:00This podcast is part of the Acast Creator Network. hello and welcome to that peter crouch podcast uh notorious srd and chris stark with me this is the this is the new year's eve edition of the of the podcast so so basically no one's listening so we can just have a beer yeah and kind of kind of just have a laugh really we've been in this situation before i remember we've released a podcast on new year's eve and we we called it do you remember we called it uh pod money yeah uh and we did that you know like uh oh pod money yeah we did call it We did a Podmini, wasn't it? And it was like, do you know what?

0:31There are some people that actually do like to listen over Christmas. So this is for them. And if you are listening, you're a diehard fan, we appreciate you. So what we do is just do a few listener messages, I thought. Let's go. Yeah, nice. And what about like some sort of, I don't know, we should finish on some sort of rousing speech, perhaps, one to think about here just to inspire people into the new year as well. Yeah, we've had a great year, haven't we? It's been a great year. Think about like, I think Rod Stewart was a definite highlight of mine. Yeah. Enjoyed doing that pod. Do you know the image from that, I can't get out of my head, by the way, is when, because I arrived a tiny bit later than you boys, because maybe it's from the radio or something, and you informed me that he's got a running track.

1:16Yeah. And then you went and showed me the running track outside. But you can see the motorway from the running track. So people must be driving down the motorway, they don't know if they'd look to their left and it's a straight line this running track it's the idea that Rod Stewart does 100 metres just sprints all out for 100 metres and then has to walk back he's only a second or so off the world record for a man of his age which is staggering but the idea that you could be driving past and look left and you see Rod Stewart doing 100 metres I just can't I just can't get that out of my head that and his train set as well well that was what he's in the model model city I hope he does the record He was getting all out for it, wasn't he?

1:56It would be amazing if he did do it, yeah. What a great fella. That was a great day. That was one of the days that we've had. We've had some crackers. When you actually go through the names, like Big Dunk, Luke Littler, Gary Oldman, Ashley Cole, Joe Cole. The journey home from, I'll record with Luke Littler in Manchester. That was a high point. Which I don't know if we've ever talked about. That was a cracker, wasn't it? If you encountered us on the M5, that was unbelievably loose wasn't it oh wow yeah we were out the windows and everything that was a fucking absolute disgrace can I just say that we weren't driving by the way no no no no and a big shout out to Lee who drives for us yeah who's a legend he was in the front I mean he didn't know what hit him no we came in hot we'd been it was a long wait for Luke in the first place in the pub and then we had a couple after some investment opportunities isn't there oh yeah down the line oh yeah yeah Yeah, yeah, and the SIDS was discussing.

2:56Yeah, so we can reveal maybe more next year. Yeah, it was a piece. I mean, we've built businesses before, you know. We've had the low, we've had spironase. This one might be a bit of tweaking. Yeah, I mean, it's a lovely idea. Yeah. You know, there's a lot. My main concern with it is how you roll it out of Soho across the country, but that's one to discuss at another point. Yeah, yeah. They've kind of got a monopoly on that game at the moment, and it's a difficult one to kind of roll across the masses. but let me get a prototype and I'll try and yeah see what happens listen we'll keep you posted maybe with you next Christmas you can buy it for your loved one

3:33but yeah so into the messages if you don't mind lads great Crouchy Notorious and Stark in regards to you and your families I hope you're having a wonderful Christmas Toon fan here after seeing the recent pressure put on Eddie Howe to swap Pope with Ramsdale I was somewhat sceptical that Pope's injury was legit and got me thinking that it was a good man, good man management by Howe to say it was an injury to take Pope out of the firing line and to relieve the pressure from both goalkeepers. Pope not dropped for poor performance and less pressure on Ramsdale as he selected due to injury. So my question is, have you ever been in a dressing room where the manager has said a player was injured just to take him out the firing line and take some weight off their shoulders?

4:15Would that even happen? Maybe Pope really is injured. I love the show boys keep it going side note I just want to say a big thanks to Starkey I've recently had some issues with my prostate and I was bricking it about going to the doctors and I remember how open and forthright you were about your condition it relaxed me to the point where I thought fuck it I'll just get it checked and I did and thankfully there was nothing sinister so I can now stop my mind spiralling and enjoy the festive season thanks again that's from Paul that must make me feel nice that's lovely that and that was another big thing this year as well obviously and also just great to hear Paul because if you are getting your prostate checked you need a relaxed mind you do yeah yeah don't you you can't be tense going into that you do not want to add stress to that situation good on you for going and getting sorted in and yeah we do make light of it a bit but that's only because we've had a year of it and and and that's what it's all about it's better to talk about it all isn't it 100 % have you known anyone Sid's that has been been kind of taken out of fire I was going to say Joe, well, I don't think it can happen because players talk, players in the dressing room, you know if someone's injured or not.

5:27I personally haven't seen this. And you'd get the feeling, you'd get the vibe, you could smell it. If it happened, you could smell it. You'd never come up, you'd certainly never go to the manager and say, look, I need you to take me out. No. Because I'm feeling, you'd never say that. No. The manager, I couldn't really imagine him saying that. He'd just drop you. He wouldn't. Yeah. Yeah, he's not here to fluff it up, is he? He's not trying to make it look good or bad on anyone. It's just, I don't, I think because there's so many narratives and so many people within a training ground, especially just let alone the dressing room and the coaching staff.

6:06I don't think it's something you could do. I have been pulled out. I remember not playing one particular game and it wasn't because I was injured. It was something personal. Yeah. and it was private to me that I was taken out of the fire line not because I was struggling on the pitch something that happened off the pitch that was a private thing and then yes I was taken out of the fire line to that degree before but not because I was playing shit I just go I think that was on you and you've got to go out there and make it better yeah and not at the expense probably of another player because although team players you are all like the idea if you've got a spot and you're relinquishing it and then agreeing to go along with a lie would probably go against every instinct, I imagine.

6:52Did you ever play, Sid, where you were like, I probably shouldn't be playing now? No, no. Injury-wise. Loads of times. Loads. And to actually tell you what, more often than not, I actually played well on it. I think it's just because you're, you know that's when in months where you're just, there's no pressure on you because you don't tell what, if I get through this, it'd be a miracle on its own. And then you just kind of forget about it and you just play well. It kicks on. Yeah. Same with me though. I remember being so ill with like, maybe a cold or like some sort of bug and feeling like absolute shit.

7:23Like if I lied in bed, I'd have stayed there all day and felt like shit. But I get up and thinking, I've got to play a Premier League match here and actually doing really well. Like you come out of the game scoring or, and obviously injury wise, if you speak to 90 % of the Premier League saying how many games you were fully fit for, like a handful. Yeah. when you get towards the end of your career you're feeling stuff all the time aren't you? Yeah, I played on injections everything, like knocks, I had a grade one what's the, grade two on my knee to just strap it up and play not good, I'm not advocating it at all but yeah, it's tough one that, tough one but I think you're right, it's much, and as well with a goalkeeper as well, I think there's a hyper focus on that position alone especially when there's changes being made so you've got to be really careful with that agreed good question though moving on Mr Crouch Chelsea's number nine on the one ball regardless of your families recently you opened the 147 hole in 19 data debate we did whilst it seems you're all fairly set in the order of difficulty I wonder where you would place the perfect 10 pin bowling game in that list 12 strikes in a row to score the magic 300 are harder or easier than the three listed it's got to be the easiest hasn't it bowling so 10 that's 10 strikes in a row yeah yeah but you can turn up for bowling on any day right and get 3 strikes can't you 4 strikes bowling I think bowling makes people feel way more impressive than they are yeah I agree I agree and a couple of I used to play I used to bowl a lot when I was at Villa.

9:13Me, Lee Hendry, Gareth Barry, J-Lloyd Samuel, the rise of Seldy on time. We'd all go and play and we got good. And Hendry's got to the point where he was nailing 200s on a regular basis. And the difficulty here with me is a hole in one, I genuinely think anyone could get one. It's a shot. You could thin one right through it, it could come off a tree and go in. any of the others you can't do that yeah but bowling I think you can but with bowling I think it's definitely but it's definitely harder to get a hole in one than do that I think what do you think if you I know we've naturally pivoted to our wives before this but if you stood there do you think you would get a hole in one quicker than you would get 12 strikes so just on that one I'd more chance to get 12 strikes really so I don't know a lot about bowling with professionals would they would they get 12 strikes like they'll clean up they could do that oh really I think it's like if they don't get it it's a bit like if they don't get a strike with one bowl they're a bit disappointed yeah which means then it is it's doable yeah it means on a balance you don't look at a golfer and they go they miss on a par 3 a hole in 1 you don't go oh shit they fucked it yeah that's a good point but then equally you only need one in golf don't you rather than 12 that's the thing because it's a hard thing to navigate because you're having one shot and anyone can hit one really good shot anyone even if you've never swung a club before you can still get one that could go in a hole if you use the you know roll the balls down you know like I get my kids to roll it down oh the thing like that you strike me as someone who's never let your kids roll a ball down.

11:11No, no. It's you. If you can't lift the ball, you're not playing. No bars, no bars. If there's bars, you're not playing. The safety barriers are out. No, it went down the gully. If it's going down the gully every time, we'll fucking learn then. So we'll go down the middle. What's the biggest ick, do you think, to a girl, right? If you're going on a date and doing any one of these sports, including bowling, is it just nailing it into the gully in bowling? Is it... No, picking up a six. It's picking up a six. If you pick up a six with small fingers, you're under small finger six. Well, you can't even get, you can only get certain fingers into it.

11:47If you're a girl, if I'm a girl, and I see my man, pick up a six with the tiny finger thing. It's a question. He has to go right there. Because you're having to lift that with a little finger, aren't you? No, that's got to be the biggest dick in the world, surely. I don't even mind if you hit the gully you've got to have at least a 10 yeah but you can't you can't yeah but do you ever club down to look stronger well because I think all men are expected to be able to lift yeah because if you're not if you're not if you're barely moving the 10 do you know what I mean at least go down to the 8 but you get a 6 out you just don't want yeah but there's nothing worse than a couple of strides with even if you're holding a 12 whatever it is right and just nailing it into the side there and then turning the worst bit of at all, it's the moment you turn around.

12:37Same if you get a strike. The worst moment, well, if you get a strike you turn around, you think you're God. When you turn around, they're all looking at you. Everything goes slow-mo. Whereas everyone sat down thinking, The problem is, even with a strike it's not good, because you turn around and you're expected to do a silly dance or something. Or like a big smile. Whereas you just want to kind of sit down and plough on. Humble, humble breath. I often just like the sympathy if you won, like you turn around and it's like, like, yeah. I'm not great at tipping bowlers, to be fair. What about, what about, let's say you've left two pins up there, right?

13:15Do you, dissecting bowling, there's so much to go at though, because it's often, it's often a first date kind of vibe, you know, especially when you're young. Yeah. If you've left two pins up there, right? Do you go for a heavier option, but with less power, I guess, but you know, it's going to go roughly in line. or do you go lighter but you're absolutely smash it down no I'd go to heavier I'd go heavier as well would you? I think my initial thought would go light and just absolutely just luzz one down there and just because it's just the noise when it you know like it's still a bit manly if it doesn't hit anything and just rockets and it hits the back it's true if you hit the back with force it doesn't matter because someone down on lane 7 is looking over going oh he's put his fingers in a 6 there on the first date.

14:09Just one more, one more quick thing on the bowling before we go. One more quick thing on the bowling. I've got a bit short if you don't mind. One more quick thing, right? When, when did we all move on from the bowling shoes thing? Now, as memory serves me, you'd hand your shoes in, you'd be given a pair of bowling shoes. What has changed about the world which means my shoes are now fine to bowling? Yes. So I've only just realised this recently. I've holding my own shoes recently. I thought the world's gone fucking mad. It's woke nonsense. What was the danger before that meant we all needed shoes?

14:44And what is that little spray they put in at the end when they really hand them back? What's in that spray? I always imagine it was like mouth spray. So one in the shoe, one in the mouth. Hold on. So you don't need the shoes then? Well, I did. Clown shoes. I don't know if it's everywhere. No, no, no. Really? if you turn out to a bowling alley now you wear your own shoes I remember I was there I never knew that I remember we were at Portsmouth and we went bowling and we all we all had a few beers at bowling and then we all went out in the bowling we all had to the rule was you had to leave your shoes you had to leave our shoes in the bowling centre right you made me go back the next day I didn't go back for mine but we just all went out all out we had a nice outfit on we all went out and bowled and you were saying wait I'm real imagine these boys the moonwalk you could do the moonwalk in a movie I'd love I'd love someone who works in bowling to get in touch with his podcast and just explain did the government come in and say like you know we're moving on from this we're moving like what what's changed about the world because the perception I had as a child was if you don't wear bowling shoes you're fucked you cannot you cannot bowl you can't cross the line you're not allowed absolutely not and what was the danger here that a bowling ball would land on your foot no no I think it was more like if you bring dirt from the outside to the bowling zone was it well I thought I would the worst one because they were they were always very slippy kind of you could slide with them couldn't you kind of thing whereas if you had grippy and also you could mark the turf that's why I would have you ever been to the end on a bowling alley have you ever have you ever gone down to the bottom yeah I always imagine it's like you know when Willy Wonka where they walk down the corridor and they get to the tiny door that's what I imagine it would be like for you oh yeah to get through into that where everything's chocolate I watched Mark I watched Mark Kinsella and Steve Staunton fly head first down there that's a fantasy of mine they came in a bit hot we were on a pre-season in Villa and they they walked in like it was a team event mate if there's a bowling alley that lets us do that that for me is up there top five fantasies

17:16also like what where do those pins go and how do they get back up like where do they go there's so much going on behind there that I'd like to know it's the ultimate chumbawamba and they rarely miss and if they do, they somehow correct themselves. And yet you can't get 4G in Wrexham. Yeah, it's so true that. It's so true. One last question. If you are a girl or have been on a date to bowling, what is the worst thing a man can do at bowling? Is it put his fingers in a six and throw it down there or is it missing? Is it hitting the bar? Is it falling over? Is it turning around and doing a funny dance?

17:54What about ball on the other lane? Yeah, ball on the other lane. that's happened yeah one straight through when the ball's down crack it through isn't the fact that he's taking it too seriously bringing his own ball I think there's a lot there's a lot of shine her up Joe I think the worst thing that could be done and the date's over straight away when you're doing the names and if you forget her name oh yeah oh yeah that's game over that's gone you're out that is game over I know you want us to move on but I'm sorry the bowling really I'm very quickly just is it the last one I promise is it the only sport in the world where it's slightly embarrassing getting the sports equipment out of the boot of your car 100 % because golf clubs absolutely fine tennis racket but what's it about a bowling ball which if I saw you know fucking you know someone go to his boot right and pop the boot and get his bowling ball out with a little like fluffer or stroll into the local Hollywood bowl with that you know with his missus and even kids sometimes like what are you going to do with that in the house this is the other thing that blows my mind with bowling is they do the finger food so you see people they're getting they're putting their hands into the bowling ball then eating their chicken tenders and then licking their fingers and putting them back in the bowling ball it's the whole world you know we've not discussed it before I'm pleased we've discussed it at length this New Year's Eve this has gone on to a new level they put their fingers in but at the time when we were playing foot hot hygiene was imperative so you took your shoes off they had to get sprayed but your fingers not a problem get them straight in there do what you want do what you want you might as well just be licking the balls because because and yet they give you fake shoes it honestly there's so many alright well we did have lots more to get through there but unfortunately we just spent most of it on on the bowling it's a nice marker for 2026 and perhaps I would say we do a live pod bowl bowling that's a great idea it actually sounds like you two are quite decent I like it I used to play a lot and I've enjoyed it I've had some great bonding moments over the course and I've had some some bad dates no I think we should go I think we should book out a bowling alley could you have him would you win I think everyone thinks they're good at bowling I think everyone does I'm not.

20:24100 % not. Bumpers down, eh, Sid? Always bumpers down. Happy New Year, everyone. And remember, we've still got our Darts of Destiny. Five points to play for. It's coming up.

20:43This next part of the podcast is brought by Paddy Power. Well, here we are. The grand finale of the Darts of Destiny. It's what they all wanted. And here it is. it's not as easy as it sounds. If you think you could hit 180 or more with nine darts on stage at the Alley Pally, you could win£180 ,000 and donate to Prostate Cancer UK and enter now at thedartsofdestiny.com. At the moment, Chris, you're on 106. I got just under that. And Sid, you got the opportunity to take the title here. I actually need you to take this title, really, because if he gets five points, I'm bagging trouble. whereas I can't wish you to mess this up more this is what darts is all about really some people wishing you the very best some people wishing you the very worst and that's what we're going to see here today at the Darts of Destiny remember if you do want to take part Darts of Destiny at Alipali you can get free entry via the website which Crouchy said dartsofdestiny.com winner will be selected at random UK and Ireland only enter before January the 1st, 2026 eligibility and TCCs will apply 18 plus please gamble responsibly and I'm very excited please take your place on Yockey for the Darts of Destiny so Sid you don't need 180 but you do need to be at 106 to beat me I feel like if he does take the 5 points it's game over it's a massive lead for him massive lead foot behind the flower please in the Chumbawamba carpet I'm going to go upstairs Oh, he's got to fuck about his miss about it.

22:24Here we go. Five. Five. 20. 30. Have you got this? We've got 30 so far behind the flower. Don't let him get in your head, sis. 20. 20. Oh, is this 20? Oh, triple one. Triple one. So that's 41. So 43. so where are we up to 73 okay let's quickly do the maths on this then please so you need what 36 no 33 to equal 34 takes it behind the flower no you can't say this stuff like behind the flower though you can't say that you can't talk to him while he's on the hockey when should I tell him it's already been behind the just rule that darn out if you didn't like it boom oh that's massive 20 20 5. One second.

23:25What does he need? You require... He can't stop his throw. Go on, throw. 7. He requires 7. So just Sid, know what you could do here. He brought your attention. There could be a cluster of these, 7, 8 and 16. I think this has been iffy. Well, what was that? You stopped in mid-dart. I was ready to go. You stopped in mid-dart. now we've you said let's work it out so we've worked it out he should aim round here nine to win

23:59he's got the nine what's that? he's got the nine nine to win

24:06can I recount my darts from week one as well because I was suspicious about that fuck I was fuck as if he's nailed it by one that's outrageous he was just showboing so is that five points yeah pending review that's fine we'll have a look back at the var we'll have a look in the new year all right well listen enjoy it right little bit of admin for you guys if you are enjoying this top quality content if you like a de goods then make sure that you hit subscribe right now okay we're trying to gather an army here first thing you can do to be part of this podcast is hit subscribe do it now this episode is brought to you by a load of pricks.net.

24:46We are the experts in selling houses. Chris couldn't sell his house. What did you do, Chris? I couldn't sell my house for love nor money, Crouchy. Three different offers I had, all at the last minute, fell through. I turned around to my wife and said, what can we do to sell this house? Every estate agent is failing us. Then I told her, let's go to a load of pricks.net. But Chris, what did a load of pricks do for you? They were brilliant, Crouchy. They sold my house right away. The sign had barely gone up when a well-dressed gentleman came along and offered me twice the asking price. Chris, would you use a load of pricks again?

25:18I'd use them every time, Crouchy. Go to loadofpricks.net. They will sell your house like no other. Load of pricks, loadofpricks.net.