Boy Talk: He AI’d my BODY for Instagram?!

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1:20And you can book a therapy session in minutes and begin in as little as two days, not the national 48-day average. See if you could pay as little as$0 for therapy in seconds at growtherapy.com slash ACAST. That's growtherapy.com slash ACAST. growtherapy.com slash ACAST. Availability and coverage vary by state and insurance plan. This is what he's asked at GBT. make her so it looks like they're on a hike they're on a beautiful scenic hike she's in leggings make her bum look way better

2:01yeah make her bum look way better oh my god is what he's asked no he hasn't and she's put in the before before you're looking juicy got a better bum than mine that's for sure before is looking juicy okay here's the after oh my fucking god you are joking this and also like Sarah your bum looks so good before

2:26hello divas are up yes divas are up diva two reporting diva where that's me yes divas one and two reporting for action how are you honey well i'm very happy because yeah we've got in the studio today what on earth is this as a can honeys okay what does it say sophia it says the girls bathroom perfect head matcha latte diva period divas are up this week you guys okay we are if you cut us into yes down the middle what would they find a piece of banana bread honey oh yeah i'm green you'll find green and banana bread honey my veins are running green honey my veins are running green my belly's full of banana bread for us to do a banana bread matcha with perfect 10 in a can we have matcha here every week so we thought this was very fun that we have a girls bathroom matcha it's just so cute everyone actually take a look at that and it's in tesco like it's so handy yeah on the go in the fridge she's just she's pink she's green she's banana bread flavor we worked hard on the flavor and we love it so much you went through a lot of different rounds guys everyone in the studio tasted it yeah oh we had all these like 11 cans.

3:3711 cans. We were like, ooh, that one's a bit fiery. that one's a bit smoky. fiery, yeah. But we love this one so much. We landed on the perfect flavour. So we hope you love it. At each sip you take, you could admire us on the back here. Absolutely. That's a little cartoon of us there. Yeah, admire our beauty. Absolutely. Ceremonial grade, vegan friendly, glue and free. But as matcha aficionados, we hope you enjoy the delicious sweet taste of this banana bread can. How fun we're in the supermarket. I know. That's diva. And Tesco, we always do sing Tesco's praises. Oh, blueberry sat there. Oh, my little baby.

4:09Thank you. Should we crack her open? I'd love to. I'm just going to give her a once a shake. Oh, yeah. Just make sure there's no... Flavours in there. Right, let's crack her open, Sophia. Divas are up. Right, divas are totally up and high right now. Oh, yeah, baby. Yeah, period. Cheers. Okay, listen. Cheers to you. I can smell it already. Honestly, cheer to you, honey. Smell that banana. Let's give her a sniff. Ooh, banana, banana. Bananas in pajamas, diva. Let's go.

4:35smooth very smooth and sweet very smooth and sweet but still got that little match of flavour honey yeah she's going down a treat it's very autumnal as well I think it's the perfect time for a banana bread can like this me too it's kind of cosy it's very cosy we love it I hope you love it too I need to stock my fridge up now I hope you love it too as well no no no I hope you love it no honestly I hope you love it more than Sophia but yeah we're in tesco so period divas we need to go tesco because seriously as we're recording this it's in tesco's today today so we need to go and there is a tesco express i'm gonna send fiona in to do a weekly shop oh yeah because there is that big tesco yeah so swing by that drinks aisle pick me up so we need to go and suss that out yeah we actually took it through the airport to new york oh yeah we did and um the guy it flagged up in my bag and they had to take the And he was like, what on earth?

5:34Banana bread in a can? What on earth is this? And I was like, oh, it's just a match of flavor. Old white wrinkly man. Yeah. I was like, it's actually our can. That's us on the back. He was like, no, don't believe you for a second. Don't be silly. It was like, don't take the piss. Don't take the piss. Yeah. I thought we just want to take our drinks to New York. He's like, why are you traveling with this banana bread? Yeah. He didn't understand the concept of a flake. He didn't get it. Well, number one, he's not going to understand. Back in his day, what was canned? They didn't even have... But it wasn't if it was in glass bottles.

6:04So the concept... He wasn't that old, was he? He was. The concept of a can... He was about 55. The can was probably like a revolutionary product to him. Yeah, to have a beverage in. He's probably never even had a matcha. God forbid it being pink. He probably doesn't know what it is. I think at the end of the day, it was because we were women. Let's talk about it. Yeah. Let's get deep. Let's take it there. It was a pink can and he didn't like it. That was it. Yeah, he was. But he let us take it through. Yeah, true. He did. He didn't confiscate it. That could have been bad. yeah well we got our matcha fix cheers divas up shout out big day big day really wow what a day when we see it in Tesco we'll be like what the fuck because I think because right now it's just been something we've had it's just been in our fridges I want to see it in the shops me too and I want to see you guys drinking it and it'll be like I want to say to I want to check out say to security guards yeah that's me lady on the desk that's me on the back that little cartoon have you got the girls bathroom perfect head matcha yeah no we haven't but they will because it's in Tesco stores they will well Divas are up Divas are here right I mean the good news keeps on coming this morning because apparently we've got someone doing our question of the week and we don't know who it is yes we've got many surprises so should we take it out of the way it is surprise after surprise I'm a bit it better be Harry Styles yeah who is it I'm totally too impressed can we have a clue I'm really confused by this right Anisha's playing us who's doing our question of the week who the hell is it should I be nervous oh hello to you miranda

7:32what wait sigh again sigh again i'm not listening are you joking are you joking what are you joking how did you get that this is better than harry styles wait this is our favorite celebrity in the whole world we were just talking about for a whole hour I'm so sorry, Bluebee. Wait. Oh, my God. Clap incoming. Clap incoming. Start again. No, I'm going to cry. I'm just going to cry. Hello to you, Miranda here. Here's my question for you. I am all about reminding adults to play, to do things just purely for pleasure. You're not being productive. You're not doing it to win. You're just in the flow. Sorry, Bluebee.

8:16Your pleasant thing worries go out of your mind. you know there's really fun playful joyful sometimes childlike things um games you know like i don't know traitors for example just at the top of my head that sort of fun game that's obviously a game i've played recently so i want to know she's the best what do you do for pure play and joy what are you i also love lego for example cycling swimming my favorite thing really into ping pong at the moment i'm all about play makes you happy and healthy and um adults just forget to do it don't they yeah so i want to know what you do for play which is a bit euphemistic as well so let's just let that go um thank you i'm rabbiting on now so i will stop i always think this angle's a bit weird my eyes look odd oh she looks she looks really good so great video great video Miranda all going very well goodbye thank you Miranda Diva-licious she's the original OG diva she is our icon and one of our favourite celebs of all time she is the diva of all divas and the day Miranda finished was a sad sad day I've still got all the DVDs though but I don't have a DVD player anymore Miranda I know that was so cool well answer her question I drink matcha I drink and march up.

9:45Well, I read. I read my books sometimes. Yes, you read your books. That's my thing. I like to read. I watch a lot of YouTube. I walk my dog. I like to eat. Yes, I eat lots of food. I'm really sorry for the scream. Like that probably... Oh, baby. It was just a shock to us all. It's okay. I know. You look so comfy up there. I'm really sorry. I know. I'm sorry. It was real piercing scream from me. Have the audience answered this? Shall we? Okay, right. Let's see what they say. Oh, blueberry. Probably a bit more exciting than us. Come here, baby. Yeah. I mean, this girl's hit the nail on the head.

10:16Yeah. Pretty relevant. Going to the big Tesco in my PJs. Yeah, nice. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Absolutely. Oh, well, there's something else you can pick up in Tesco. Getting ice cream for the ice cream van. Yeah. Yeah, that's a joy. Oh, that is fun. Oh, God, this is great. I've not had one of these in a long time. Having a Nutella sandwich. Oh, fucking hell. I did this the other day. Buying lunchbox foods. Lunchables, cheese drinks, dairy dunkers. Yum. Absolutely. You know what? I'm going to try tonight actually. Do you know that lady on TikTok? I don't think you would have seen her but she's that American lady and she was a teacher.

10:50She teaches British literature but she makes the most incredible food. She was a lady who invented the sweet potato with the cheese in it. She invented that. That was months and months ago. She invented that. Remember when everyone was doing that? No. Was having a baked potato and putting cheese in it? No, I've never seen that. But I'm going to do that. What kind of cheese? Just a stick of cheese. It was this specific cheese that she used, but people were just using cheddar and it was, looked delicious. That sounds so good. But she, she's American and she always makes a roast and, but she's like really, she makes like delicious looking things.

11:23Last night she made, well, no, it was the other day. She said it was a Southern thing. Southern. And it was a, it was a white bread. She did two mayo sandwiches, mayo and bananas. Ew. and one mayo and thick white onion she's like oh my god it's delicious guys to be fair the mayo and the onion i could probably do really no it was thick onion this fucking thick raw not cooked yeah raw yeah i mean i'm not in white bread but that is more appealing than the banana yes on bread well yeah i just don't like that but i'm not like i don't like bananas on toast I'm not into bananas like that. I like bananas on porridge.

12:09I like banana bread. And the fucking banana bread. In the drinks. But a banana on like white bread. No, no, no. Yeah, sliced. Too slimy. Yeah, I know. Can you believe it? But yeah, Nutella and banana would actually hit so hard. Oh yeah, that would hit. Sorry. Spaghetti hoops. Yeah, absolutely. This is a hobby that keeping us children alive. I love that. Doing the kids' colouring pages at a restaurant. Yeah. I love a colouring book. That's why I loved colouring. I had that colouring phase. That was really lovely and really reconnected. You should get back into that. I do still have my pencils and pens.

12:39Okay, you should do that. Spaghetti Hoops, I said that one, watching Tracy Beaker. Yes. Yeah, classic show. Playing Sims. Oh, the good old days. Oh, yeah. Getting on the swings at the park. Oh. Love that. Licking the bowl after making a cake. Yes. I need to make a cake. I lick the plate anyway. I don't remember when I last made a cake. Make a cake. Yeah, I will do. I made a little mini cake, didn't I? Not that long ago. I need to get just like cake ingredients. ingredients in my cupboard. Just get a cake mix. You don't need to do it from scratch. Just get a Betty Croc. Yeah. And then you just put the milk and the oil and the butter in, you know?

13:12Collecting jelly cats. Yes, that's what I do. Yeah, that's your hobby. Sunny angels. I really want more New York ones, but they're so rare. I can't find them anywhere, guys. At least you can't find them anywhere. Having a sleepover at my parents' house. Love that. Oh, that's cute. Watching old Disney films. Beautiful. Oh, that's me every night. Collecting shells on the beach. That's beautiful. Oh, I love that. Marianna still collects fossils when we go to the beach and stuff. Oh, that's really nice. Fossil hunting. Getting pick and mix every Friday. That's beautiful. Oh my God, that is so fun.

13:43We got this big bag of Swedish candy in New York and it was just so fun having a bag of sweets on there all the time. It was great. There's something so fun about that. It's the same as like... So fun about pick and mix. Running up the stairs on all fours, classic. Classic. Oh, you still love that. Playing club penion. oh club penguin yeah love swearing everyone loved that on that railroad game yeah taking a lunchbox to work that's really fun really cute really diva that's really fun i saw a lady on tiktok yesterday she was packing a lunchbox to take upstairs yeah oh my god she was like just beside the beds i've got things you know so i have to go downstairs and upstairs oh my god i thought very very smart eating smiley faces period yeah it's very divaish behavior chicken dinosaurs yeah bringing the duvet to the sofa to watch TV diva ups Sunday energy having sleepovers and matching PJs always diva ups incredible divas are thriving amazing yeah I hope that's given everyone some good inspo for some weekend plans you know absolutely let's get our duvets let's get our smiley faces oh my god I need to get my hands on the Percy Pig blind boxes at M &S oh yeah wait I've seen these yes yeah we need to go and get them but I never go in M &S I need to go in there's one over there I know but I never go in well we could go in shout out Catherine Turner Shout out.

15:01You're a genius. Have you seen the Iceland lady trying to do Catherine Turner? No. Oh, it's not quite hitting the same. Or was it Farm Foods? No, it was the lady of Iceland. Farm Foods. I forgot about that. She was like, I'm the product developer at Iceland. Let me show you. It's like, it's not quite hitting, is it? Oh. Yeah. But she's obviously, you know. And all the comments were like, you're not quite Catherine, are you? No, Iceland is great. I used to frequent Iceland. You know what's coming up next? Cotton Hill, Iceland. Yeah. Our first live caller. Oh, my shit. We've got, it's a busy episode this week.

15:32I'm really getting very hard. Trying to keep us on track. We've got Perfect Head, we've got Miranda, and now we've got a live caller. So we're very excited about this, guys. This is our new podcast segment. So we are physically calling a lady and she's going to tell us her whole dilemma live on the call. We can ask her any questions that we've got. So whenever there's a problem of, shit, oh, I wonder if like... We can ask. Exactly. And so if you missed it, we now have a TGB hotline. We do. So you can, we now have a WhatsApp. We have a number. So you can message us your like dilemma. You can voice note us your dilemma.

16:05And then we will get back to you. And then, yeah, we're literally hearing from you live on the show. So hopefully you guys enjoy this. I'm very excited about this. We've got our phone in front of us and we're going to have a live convo. Obviously, we're going to keep her anonymous. Anonymous. Hello. Sarah, hello. Sarah, hello. Are you there? Hello.

16:28Sarah, welcome to the pod. How are we today? We're good. Yeah, we're good, Diva. How are you? I'm good. I'm just getting my dilemma up. Okay. Oh, perfect. Can you hear us okay? I hope you're ready for this. I'm just going to put you on speaker. Oh, brilliant. Yeah. So this is my dilemma. The guy that I'm dating is going to be in Ibiza at the same time as me next week. But so is another guy I used to speak to and he's invited me on a yacht. Nice. Oh, be careful though. I think they know each other, so what do I do? Okay, wait. Wait, what's the problem? So, so, right. Basically, I've spoken to both of them.

17:04Right. But one's a bit more serious than the other. Okay. But I found, I noticed when they went to a Paco Rabanne event that they had a picture together. Would you like a picture of them? Yes, we'd like a picture, please, Sarah. Wait, so are they like models or influency men? Both influencers. Oh! I need to see the picture right now, Sarah. I do. Who's got the yacht? So I'm going to send you the picture now. Okay. Okay, wait a second. So is the guy, is the yacht guy, is he the least, the less serious guy? Yes. Yes, I thought so. But I don't, it's not his yacht, is it? No. No, no, no, no, but he's booked it.

17:47He's got it for the day. I see. Okay. But they're... I want to do my screenshots there. But Sarah, they're confirmed friends, are they? Because we've seen this picture of them together. I'm so nervous about this. Right, here we go. Okay. Right, let's see this picture then. And then we can... Oh, I can't wait to put a face. Wait, Brian is who we're more serious with. Is that correct? Yes. Right, let's have a look. Okay, can't wait. Steve is your boy. Yeah, so he's six foot eight. Fuck off. Wow! What do you fucking mean? I'm five eleven, by the way. Oh, divas. Is it Peter Crouch? Oh, handsome boy.

18:26Oh my God, they're literally side by side. I know. But this picture, it's not giving that they're actually friends. I was in my room and I was literally pulled up Instagram. That's the first post and I was gobsmacked. That would not be sick. My mouth was on the floor. Oh my God. Wait, so these guys don't know each other. Wait, is Brian Blue, sorry? Yes. Right. Because Steve is giving me better energy, if I'm honest. Me too, I like Steve. Yeah, to be fair, I don't know why I didn't take things a bit more. serious of him but he has got good energy yeah because brian is giving me like it takes himself a bit too seriously steve's got a lovely smile i like that he does he put like he's an influencer so like he gets uh like all of his content outside my building i mean yeah okay i'm voting for steve and steve's got my vote is steve also an influencer uh yes he is what does he influence so they're both like kind of fashion boys but he's a bit more serious so like fashion boys not as like into cars where the other ones motorcycles and cars okay he's got a niche right I'm just looking him up just so I can get a vibe that's okay but like oh yeah okay okay I'm just seeing if he's gonna oh my god okay yeah ooh I mean 17 people are following him that I follow ooh so he's obviously a man about town So he's going on a yacht with a brand.

19:51Oh no, he's booked the yacht, sorry. Yeah, yeah, he's just got a yacht. Like, we're all like... Right, fuck it. I posted that I was going to Ibiza on my story for my friend's birthday. Okay. But he popped up and went, oh, same. Oh, fucking hell, all right. I'd get on that yacht, Sarah. Yeah, as long as you don't get seasick, I'd be getting on that boat. Yeah, has Brian offered to see you in Ibiza too? Or he's just going to be there? No, thank God. Fine. Because I was trying to keep it separate. it but that's fine you've got your plans with steve yeah i mean do we need to make sure brian doesn't get an invite on this yacht it could well be possibility that brian's going to be there too i know imagine like i show up like but then no but then i think that's good because it's like i'm a desired woman people want me yeah sarah i think that'll be fine you just gotta own it you're laughing it like i'm sorry i'm sure i'm sure there'll be loads of other girls there that they've slept with all i've fucking been dealing with you're not doing anything wrong no you just laugh at it like how many so have you been on a date with brian oh yeah we've been on a few okay you've been on a few have you been on a date with steve um we we kept organizing but we didn't we we almost caught each other and then it was my fault i kind of like last minute okay do you like brian like have you had good dates um kind of have but like they've just mainly been talking about like skincare routine.

21:12Oh my God. You're going on the boat, Sarah. I think Brian's a dead end now. No, listen, Brian does take himself way too seriously. And what, he's just talking about his bike? If you need to know what SPF2 is, just, you know, ask him. Oh gosh, yeah. Was he asking you questions, Sarah? He was. Yeah, he was interested. But he was mainly talking about his skincare routine. I don't know. I feel like it's more of a friend. Like I am more intrigued to see what Steve's got about him. There we go then. You've literally answered your own question. It's perfect. I think it's being handed to you on a platter go on the yacht see what vibe steve is on like he might be on some weird vibe you're like actually he's a weirdo that was weird whatever or you might have a really fun time then pick things back up in london and it's so fun yeah and make sure your friends can go on the boat as well and also chances are you won't see brian like we're just getting out we're just overthinking it like we ain't gonna see him ibiza's a big place like and also that pic they don't even look like they're mates it just looks like they were forced together in some pics well that's what i thought I just couldn't believe they were picked together.

22:07That's crazy side by side like that. Do they follow each other? Oh, actually, that's a good question. I don't know. I didn't check that. I feel like they're not following each other. If they're following each other, then it's like, okay, they are mates. Or just acquaintances. Yeah. Yeah. Who cares? But I don't think they're going to be following each other. I think go on the yacht. Make sure you bring a friend. Are you bringing a friend? Yes. It's her birthday, so I am going to try and get us on the yacht. Okay, so you guys can keep each other safe and then we can get off the yacht if we need to, yeah?

22:35you guys can swim 100 % yeah make sure we're close to land and we can swim to the yeah let's stay by the shore but I'm sure it'll be all fine he looks friendly and worst case scenario I've got his name on Instagram now so you just drop me a message oh my god we can come to the rescue yeah and we can call the Ibiza I'll be keeping a lookout for you guys yeah it's gonna be fine oh have the best time Sarah yeah when are you going we're going literally next week shut up have fun then oh have the best time Ibiza's still open keep us posted about the boat divas are up I know good luck thanks for listening Sarah I hope you have a good snog or something oh thank you I hope the boat's nice it better be a nice boat yeah send us a picture of the boat oh absolutely I'll keep you updated and I'll send you an updated dialogue oh yes please divas love you thanks Sarah bye bye bye oh that was a thrill what a thrill god the two boys stood side by side imagine going on your feed and seeing that I'd be like I'm enjoying the real stalking of this like fear through me.

23:36I'm on Steve's Instagram. I'm going to see who he's following. Let's see if he's following loads of girls. Yeah. He is. Of course he is. Many a girl. I mean he's a single model man inviting girls on boats. Oh my God. It's just exclusively women. Okay. Well Sarah's a smart cookie. Yeah. She's not stupid. Yeah. She's just getting her and her friend on a yacht. Going to get those pics on that yacht. Yeah. Getting that freebie. Oh yeah. He loves following. I mean but he's not following his Sophie. A bit offended. That's a bit rude. Did we not make the call? A bit rude since he's following 2 ,000 women.

24:05But that's absolutely fine. But yeah, good luck, Sarah. It's going to be great. Thanks for ringing in, Sarah. That was so funny. See, how good was that? We could just get info like on the spot. Yeah, because she does need to see if they're following each other. I don't think they are. Think these men, they're going to so many events. They're meeting so many men. They're just following random people. They're not even remembering. They're in pictures just to be in pictures. Do you know what I mean? Boys don't move like that. No. Oh, right. What a thrill. Now we can officially... Yeah, I can actually read the next dilemma doll Blueberry's a bit overstimmed She doesn't really know what's going on There's been a lot going on this morning Yeah, you're okay Do you want to rest now?

24:41Sorry about that

24:47Just before we get into it Quick disclaimer Just to say We are not doctors We are not professionals We do not actually know What we are talking about This is a light-hearted space Okay Don't take what we say literally Because we could be wrong Yeah, and if there's anything serious If there's anything you feel like You're seriously struggling with Please contact a GP a professional because that is not us we're just girls girls and boys just like you we're just trying to get through life as well not professionals enjoy the episode

25:14okay well we're back to i'm a bit hot regular scheduled programming take a breath i've got it from here well this girl's asking did i ruin my own relationship oh i mean let's see and this is boy talk. I need an outside opinion on a relationship slash situationship that has genuinely turned into one of the messiest situations of my life. I think it's best we get out then. He's 28. Right. We started seeing each other in January and things became serious really quickly. We fell in love, spent loads of time together, met each other's friends and families and I became really close to this family, particularly his mum.

25:52I genuinely thought this was someone I was going to have a future with but in june everything changed sure so we fell in love i was close with his mom we were together my boyfriend told me that his friend was cheating on his girlfriend and sleeping with other people i knew the girlfriend and although i knew my boyfriend had told me this privately i couldn't sit there knowing another girl was being cheated on and let her carry on completely oblivious so i told her okay as you should yeah morally i felt like i was doing the right thing by another woman. My boyfriend saw it completely differently.

26:27To him, I'd betrayed his trust and shared something he told me privately. That decision basically became the beginning of the end of our relationship. We broke up, but for the next three months, neither of us properly let go. We argued, stopped talking, missed each other, reconnected, and became intimate again. We both admitted we still loved and missed each other. We'd cuddle, kiss have sex and deep conversations about our relationship but whenever it came to actually committing again he would say he wasn't ready oh god we even spent a weekend away together where we basically behave like a couple again holding hands cuddling sleeping together talking about us he told me he'd missed us and acknowledged that we were right for each other but again said the timing wasn't right why is he this is getting really cruel from him yeah this is selfish and I was like, actually, at the end of the day, Brian, you were the reason why we kind of, but also like you were the reason why we broke up.

27:24Like I was just defending a friend. Yeah. And like you told me something you could, like, I wasn't going to live with that piece of information. Yeah. Then a few days later, he literally raised his drink and said, cheers to our situationship. Towards the end, I started feeling like he wanted access to me physically without actually wanting the responsibility of being my boyfriend. Yeah. It sounds like he was enjoying this little situation he's got going. He's got the perks of you, but he can also go out at the weekend and shaggo wherever he wants. He could sleep with me, cuddle me, tell me he missed me, have all the intimate parts of a relationship.

27:56But when I actually asked what was going on, he would pull away. Meanwhile, I was doing everything I could think of to save us. I apologized. I tried to give him space. I tried communicating. I wrote paragraphs. I wrote letters. I tried suggesting that we didn't even need to jump straight back into a relationship. we could take things slowly, privately, rebuild the trust and see where things went. Like you're really grafting for this Sarah. And also, but you didn't do anything wrong really Sarah. Like you did what you thought was right. Yeah. And that was that, like you don't need to be doing this to win him back.

28:26He, yeah. I genuinely fought for us until I had nothing left to give, but our communication became a horrible cycle. When things became emotional, he'd shut down and withdraw. When he withdrew, I would panic and chase communication even harder. Eventually I I became extremely emotional and impulsive because I couldn't understand how someone could tell me they loved me and behave like my boyfriend and then shut me out. Yeah. Well, now like he's driving you insane because he's saying one thing, doing another thing. It's like you say you love me, but we're in a situation ship. Like what? It's very cruel.

28:58Eventually, everything exploded. Arguments became nasty. Family members got involved. Things were said on both sides that shouldn't have been said. Shit. He blocked me. I repeatedly tried contacting him Because I desperately wanted one calm conversation And some closure Looking back I know I should have stopped trying to get a response Much sooner Eventually we mutually blocked each other And went completely no contact And here's the part that I genuinely Cannot get my head around Remember the couple whose cheating situation started all of this They're working through it Typical mate The girl I told that her boyfriend was leaving With other people is still working things out With him meanwhile three months after everything happened my boyfriend decided he couldn't get past what I'd done and ended things with me I think that's giving excuse yeah isn't it it's it's giving kind of that like because it's like really you want to hear this but it's giving like he was never that sure and he latched on to this as like boom that's my reason I'm taking this I'm driving this one hard and I'm getting out of here I agree like that's my reason that's what people do like you're looking you need something and it's like boom there it is i'm running he wanted you but he didn't really want you but this is his reason to kind of we're broken up but i still love you because he could have been like oh shit like okay i would have appreciated you telling me that you were going to tell her and we could have spoke about it but like i get you did what you had to do like i'm gonna own up to my mate and told him that yeah that came from me because i told her like at the end of the day it was his mistake he didn't need to break up with you because of that It was his mistake.

30:34So that is giving like he was looking for a reason to get out. It was his mistake for telling you that like was the demise of the relationship. But he just needed an excuse. He just needed a little excuse. So I lost my relationship partly because I couldn't watch another girl unknowingly be cheated on. But also Sarah, sorry, a point is he would have found something else I think to broke up with you for. Like that was just the thing he latched on to like Sophia said. But I believe he would have found something else because he's, this guy is untrustworthy. like you're breaking up with me just because no so i lost my relationship because i told her she'd been cheated on and that couple are now trying to repair their relationship while mine completely fell apart yeah that is crazy this week i found the last of my ex's belongings in my car his t-shirt his lip balm his vaseline whoa and his ring i posted them back to him by signed delivery okay good normally i'd have included some huge emotional letter and i actually did write one i had pages of things I still wanted to tell him but I took it out of the parcel I'm proud of you for the yeah sometimes just getting it down is enough I don't actually need you to see this I just need to get it out yeah and sometimes not saying anything is is more powerful more powerful than like this big para that he's just gonna be like oh fuck off like yeah sometimes silence is the kicker for the first time in three months I didn't beg over explain myself apologize or try to convince him to understand me i just sent his things back good so my dilemma is did i ruin my own relationship by getting involved in something that technically wasn't my business even though i genuinely believed another woman deserved to know she's being cheated on was my ex justified and never being able to trust me again or after three months of telling me he still loved me sleeping with me and allowing me to keep fighting for us should he have genuinely tried to rebuild or let me go much sooner he treated you so unfairly i think yeah i think he was kind of using you towards towards the end.

32:23I think he did not need to break up with you over that. Yeah. Like I said, like you could have had a conversation about it. You could have handled it differently, but that was not a reason for a breakup in my opinion. So I think that shows that he was kind of waiting for you to do something, which allowed him to be like, right, that's why I'm breaking up with you. I'm getting you gone. And yeah, I think he was just using you at the end. And I think it's really cruel. I think he probably enjoyed feeling like you were the one in the doghouse and he was nothing wrong sarah you're there begging and writing letters and being emotional he loved your heart and being on your best behavior trying to show him and prove to him and he's just there getting to sleep with you whenever he wants and like have a nice time he's got you under his thumb and then he's like yeah actually not bothered about this anymore like i'm gonna go and find someone else i think that was really cool he fucked up in the first place because he felt like he'd fucked up his friendship with his mate because yeah oh god now because i told her yeah that's why he was angry in the beginning that's why he panicked took it out on you you know said it was all your fault because he'd fucked up his friendship yeah took it out on you wanted to feel something wanted you to be the one who was begging begging begging which yeah in time you did and it was just a whole power play for him yeah but i don't think you were to blame for the breakdown of your relationship no way you would have found something else yeah i think to use against you to kind of break up with you and it would have played out the same i think because ultimately like this is something that you guys could have worked through like you guys didn't cheat on each other like nothing really went down between you two yeah it was just so yeah he was gonna find something else he did not ruin that at all also this is not someone you want to be in a relationship with like we're gonna go through things in life and like if this if you're just gonna break up with me at like the drop of a hat because of your fuck up basically this was your fuck up you broke up with me no i did i did what was right i told susan what was going on your friend was being shit sorry you've got shit friends yeah like don't break up with me because of it yeah like like if she's forgiven him he couldn't handle that exactly he couldn't handle that so he doesn't deserve you you're too good of a girl I think it's a blessing in disguise I think you will get to the point where you will look back and be like I'm so glad that he actually broke up with me because I found someone else because I was never going to break up with him so I'm really glad that he broke up with me because you will meet your person they do that though they want they want you to feel like it was your fault and that you need to beg for it back and that you're to blame and then it it's that desperation within you that kind of comes out fix it i want to prove it i want to make it because you feel like you were you you feel like you yeah like you're asking us did i cause this was i the reason that this relationship broke down and it's that kind of desperation but nothing of the sort he's just made you feel like that bringing out that desperate side that kind of you know begging for him back and all that but you did nothing wrong you'll be better off without him i'm glad you're out of that situation that was on to the next and a great time of year for a break up absolutely and i'm really proud of you for not sending that big paragraph with that stuff yeah that was kind of the final say it's like i'm actually done you will never hear from me again and stand by that and i think stand on business oh gosh finding the right size rug can be hard enter ernesta designer quality custom sized rugs cut to the exact size of your room and delivered in as little as two weeks not sure of the size or the material?

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37:01Oh my God, you're joking me. What? Right, sorry. I'll just do this really quick one but I've just read the next one. It's fogged. Oh my God. There's a lot going on on this Wednesday. Just really quick, you answer this for us. Me? Yeah, really quick. If I'm stuck between two guys, does that mean neither of them are for me? Yeah. Yeah. Pretty much. Yeah. Pretty much. Pretty much. Right. And if it's going to be anyone, it's going to be... The second guy. Yeah. Yeah. Because? Because like we had wandering eyes when we were with the first guy. Yeah. If the first guy was really all that, you wouldn't have wandered to the second.

37:38Yeah, divas looked in. But I would say neither. Yeah. Listen to this. Oh my God, what? This is really scary. And this is getting out of hand. I'm being scared too much. I'm over it. We've had crazy pilots in Patreons this week. We've had men acting all sorts. I didn't need to hear about the pilots to be honest. Ignorance is bliss. What can I say? That's actually, no. I'm never going to feel the same on a flight ever again. I'm never going to feel the same when I see a pilot in an airport ever again. My respect for them is gone. Their name's been dragged through the mud this week. Yeah, freaked out.

38:04So what's happening now? he AI'd my body and shared it to Instagram so he took a picture of me edited me to then post it oh I thought she meant her naked body no it's just I'll show you he's edited my body how do boys know how to do that that's not well he's obviously ass-chat-GBT oh my he's not gone on Facebook but he's like is he stupid? do you not think I know what I look like? yeah I've actually not had a BBL so but like I've not got this but that is the scariest fucking thing that is so scary so what what's wrong with my body why did you have to alter my body before you shared it to your body that is so scary can I see the before and afters yeah is this your boyfriend okay obviously we've not read your dilemma we've just gone straight to the screenshots it appears that sorry to get ahead but it appears that she's gone on his phone and gone on his chat GBT and kind of scrolled up and this is what he's asked chat GBT make her so it looks like they're on a hike they're on a beautiful scenic hike she's in leggings make her bum look way better

39:18yeah make her bum look way better oh my god is what he's asked no he hasn't and she's put in the before before you're looking juicy got a better bum than mine that's for sure before is looking juicy okay here's the after oh my fucking god you are joking this no i'm also like sarah your bum looks so good before look how good her bum looks before juicy are you fucking joking ass glutes that's a dump truck you've got back there honey yeah wait so what's the after that so that's what he deems wait and go up again there's not much in that all it is is hip dips all it is is some hip dips fucking not bad prick as if.

39:58Right. That's terrifying. He needs to go to prison. And he's not exactly a look of Sarah. Sorry. Let's see him. Ew. Make my boyfriend look way better. Jesus. Give my boyfriend hair. Put some hair on my bald boyfriend. And some muscles. Fix my boyfriend's receding hairline. Oh my God. What a twat. Right. This is, I hope, this is grounds to fully break up. I hope you know that. Yeah. At least. Hi girls. Love the pod. Be okay, boobalyn. Saw you in Nottingham a few years ago Hope you come back soon Shout out yeah I'll be there in a few weeks Got my niece's birthday party Oh there we go My dilemma is something I haven't heard before And wanted your expertise No this is crazy Sarah You need to like get rid of this man ASAP Because look we're evolving with the times And with the internet And you know all these times Our grandparents didn't have to deal with this shit you know But this is 100 % Like we need to break up over things like this This is really scary So look my dilemma is something I haven't heard before And wanted your expertise I mean I've not heard this before either we've never in our whole career had a boyfriend editing their girlfriend to then share it body, face, whatever me 33 and Brian 40 oh Brian you're disgusting I've been together for two years and it hasn't been easy sailing but as cliche it is when it's good it's good today we went for a long hike in the Peak District I've been on one of them, it's beautiful Yeah, it looks stunning.

41:26And whilst we were out, he took some pics of me. Like, lovely, you know, taking some pics of me. Cute. I'm not a big picture person, but I don't mind a few, you know, memories. Yeah, we made it to the top. Absolutely. To have a hot chocolate. I was wearing a pair of leggings. They're a little looser. And I commented that they weren't flattering. I think you look great, Sarah. In my honest opinion, you look great in these leggings. Yeah, you do. These are good leggings. These are good leggings on you and you look good in these leggings. And also your bum looks good in these leggings. Seriously.

41:57I'm being dead serious. So we finish the hike and head back to our separate homes. Okay. I get back and see he's uploaded to Instagram a nice selfie of us and then a picture of me, of the back of me overlooking the view. But it doesn't look quite right. Oh my God. Fucking go to fucking Specsavers Brian as well. Did he think that you weren't going to realize? How fucking stupid are you? Yeah, go to fucking Specsavers. Like, I do actually know what my body looks like. Yeah. Are you joking? Idiot. I'm actually really angry. Did you think you were just going to, like, why did you need, what? Oh, I'm really pissed off at this guy.

42:32I don't understand at all. Who the fuck do you think you are, bold man? Literally. So something, like, doesn't look quite right. Yeah, something's off. The more I look at it, the bigger my bum looks. Like, I was just really confused. I asked straight away, replying to the story, asking if he'd altered me. He said no. I said, are you sure? to which he didn't reply because he's been clocked. Yeah, he's been clocked. Like, I've clocked it straight away. Are you fucking stupid? I've clocked it straight away. Like, no tolerance. You're a fucking idiot. But it's like, what are you ashamed of, you fucking freak?

43:03How dumb are you? What are you ashamed of? You've got a good looking woman here. I tell you that for free. And you're 40. Best you're going to get. So I'd wind your neck in as well. Yeah. Like, how old am I? Yeah. You've got seven years on me, you old man. Yeah, you're bold. I'm 40. And you've got the audacity to edit my body. Are you fucked? what is wrong with you you fucking loser yeah so I've clocked it straight away it's my body I know my body you're not bad you idiot I'm pissed off mate are you alright like what is your thought process well like a dumb twat I hope you know you've ruined the entire relationship and we aren't together anymore yeah like I hope you know that and I'm really excited to hear his excuses for why he's done it I'm really excited oh my god so he's not replied because he knows he's been clocked yeah because he's a pussy not bad I then asked twice for the original pick Yeah.

43:50Yeah. It's like, I know you've edited this, except the original. So I asked twice for the original picture, to which she said no. In the end, I asked outright again and asked him to be honest, to which she said yes. He had altered it. Also, Instagram had tagged it as AI. Oh, well, now you've just embarrassed me as well. Because now it looks like I've asked you to do that. And now you've just exposed me. Altered with AI. Not bad. Oh, my God. What an idiot. He removed the pictures immediately. I asked him if he would be comfortable if I uploaded a picture of him with bigger biceps and he said he wouldn't mind.

44:24Fuck off. Oh, shut up. Yeah, so you're thinking, how the fuck would you... Do you think that's made me feel? Do you want me to alter you on AI? No. To make you deem more attractive for my followers? No. Yeah, and obviously he's... Oh, well, I wouldn't mind. Well, I wouldn't mind. He's just doubling down. Oh, insecure prick. Yeah, he's just doubling down. So I asked him why he did it. Yeah, come on then, what's he saying? And he said it was because the leggings didn't do me justice. the leggings are making your ass look so fat i'm so confused don't try and get this all like oh your bum looked so good before what are you on about you get who's blaming the leggings yeah these are great fucking leggings and also sarah they fit your bum looks very good so your bum looks amazing your bum looks huge it looks great the leggings don't even look baggy to me they don't look baggy look this is the before they are caressing perfectly shaped where are they baggy they are caressing the whole bullshops amazing i'm so confused by this knobhead right so obviously now he's panicking oh the leg is justice and i had said they were so and i had said they weren't flattering so he was just trying to make it look the way it did in real life oh please so ladies what are your thoughts here this man is i've attacked the pictures and the prompts he said he used i listened to this prompts he said he oh my god so he's saying oh it was the leggings they were baggy the leggings la la la but his prompt he asked ai make her long long her bum make her bum look way better yeah that's what he said there's no mention of leggings yeah mate not you can't even spell like get rid of the wrinkles in the leggings no that i would have let pass get rid of the wrinkles he said make her bum look way better as if i haven't got a good bum in the first place oh my god i hate that's all she's given us yeah right well you're obviously going to break up with this man we have to we have to because also it's so much deeper than that like this is so much deeper than just really scary is the fact that he is looking at you with a critical eye yes like that is terrifying like you're supposed like i bet you don't look at him with a critical eye you think he's the most handsome man in the world you think he's like you look like you think he's gorgeous like you can't fault him like that's how you feel about your partner yeah i look past all your fault he is looking at you being like be better if it was like that yeah if it was like that and like you're actually altering me to then post me on your instagram like it's actually fucked yeah it is so fucked that you are looking at me and thinking about what you would change and what you could improve like i'm not a fucking barbie doll that you can add different attachments to like this is my body that i love is that fucking deep like why are you altering like that is why because what are you trying to gain from that you're showing off to your friends like what who the fuck are you posting this for who is this for no one asked you to post it so he's posted for his little boyfriends a hundred percent his little boyfriend's like what like he's trying to like i don't know what it is like you're 40 it's a weird boy fucking thing like trying to I don't know I don't like it I don't get that at all like he wants these men to think that you've got this big you know dump truck in the back which you do but I just think very insecure scary man things I would break up with him because I think it just goes so much deeper I know for a fact Sarah if you took a picture of him oh look at my handsome beautiful boyfriend oh you're not asking fucking AI to alter the fact that it was even a thought process for him to put that picture into AI ask AI to alter it like that's not a normal thought process for a guy to have about pictures of his girlfriend like it's just not we've never heard that before for a reason that is not normal and that is not how my boyfriend our boyfriends are moving my boyfriend who should love me unconditionally whether i gain weight lose weight whatever happens it's irrelevant it's turned into a fucking worm it's irrelevant you love me and it's unconditional yeah you shouldn't be looking at me with a critical eye and wanting to change things like that it's fucked you need to break up with him immediately I've got no patience and no tolerance he's gone 100 % he's gone 1000 % no bold ass man that is mental we've never had that before prick I'm really angry at him who the fuck do you think you are bold man I hope these people like why yeah anyway he has to be gone Sarah get him gone seriously because he didn't even apologise also he didn't even apologise he's just making oh it was the leggings no no it was the leggings I was trying to make do you just like no No.

48:53Nuh-uh. Oh, my God. I'm just seeing it with my own eyes. I can't believe that. You're gone. You're cut. Go get a boyfriend.

49:10Okay. Chintz, you can answer this one. I really fancy my boss. Do I act on it? Quick fire. Yes or no, honey? I mean, how much money is he making, honey? oh it's gonna get messy this is quick fire yeah oh i need more info base yes or no yes or no quick fire i mean how big is this boss it's quick fire baby does he own the company i don't have that info uh how much is he making is is you know come on is he yeah do it why not brilliant thank you for your answer okay but listen listen hr is gonna get involved are you ready for that but then I guess if he's the CEO, but is he just the manager? He's not got that much authority, do you know what I mean?

49:51Or is he just your supervisor? I wouldn't go there. Again, I'm sorry, I've not got that information for today. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Next dilemma. Yeah. Oh, God. Interesting. Well, I need way more from that. But yeah, moving on. My brother-in-law, let me get my head around that. My brother-in-law, yeah, wants us. Sorry, I've not got my head around that. Your brother-in-law. Who's that to me? Mariana's boyfriend. Ah, got him. wants us to pay for the baby shower. I thought you were going to say something hot, terrible then. Just baby shower talk. Sorry, wants us to, whose baby shower? So I think. His baby shower.

50:30Yes. Am I fuck not? Okay, interesting. Dear girls. Does that make sense? Am I fuck not? Yeah, I like it. I love the pod. I live a pretty normal drama-free life. Nice. And I've never really had dilemma worth writing in until now. Who's pregnant, sorry? my sister i think so yeah yeah so here's my question is it normal to ask guests to contribute money towards the cost of a baby shower i'm going with no a baby shower is optional did our mums have baby showers no they weren't doing gender reveals baby said none of this no this is this is a new age thing yeah this is a modern thing if you want to throw a baby shower that's at your that's at your dime we'll all bring gifts yeah of course that because that's what we do there but it's a modern thing.

51:15No. And I'm not talking about the gift. I mean, actually asking everyone to transfer cash to help cover the cost of organizing the event. No, we can go out for a roast. That can be a baby shower. Like it doesn't need to be this big hoo-ha. Here's a situation. My brother-in-law is organizing a baby shower for my sister. Yes. Okay. My sister is quite diva. She loves beautiful places, fancy restaurants, very aesthetic settings. Every event she's ever hosted from her wedding to her 30th the gender reveal has been in a gorgeous location and meticulously decorated so she's got high standards she's expecting the best of the best she's also a bit of a control freak and is notoriously difficult to surprise so when my brother-in-law told me he wanted to surprise her with a baby shower i initially thought it was incredibly sweet but the more involved i became the stranger the whole thing started to feel right he decided to organize a brunch at a lovely countryside hotel about two hours from the city center oh quite far really for a lot yeah for a brunch that's a lot for one hours for a brunch four hours of travel yeah that's a lot and to be fair the location is gorgeous i was actually really impressed with his choice yeah my job was to design the invites and set up the group chat with all the girls nice Then a few days later, he messaged me and said, do you think you could ask the girls to transfer 50 pounds each this week to cover the food and drinks?

52:41I don't think it's fair that I should pay for everyone. It's your child. It's your child. And your wife. And also like respectfully, you haven't had to do much up until now. But also like this was your idea to throw a surprise thing. We don't transfer for baby showers. And I was honestly shocked. I told him I didn't think it was reasonable to ask everyone 50 pounds on top of asking them to drive four hours. Because you know who'd be horrified by that? Fucking Sarah. Yeah. She would rather have planned it herself and paid for it. This is not, yeah. She doesn't want to know that everyone's been asked 50 quid.

53:11I think she'd be horrified. These girls are already driving two hours each way, spending money on petrol, giving up their entire Saturday and presumably buying a baby shower gift. to me asking them to transfer an extra 50 quid just to attend felt weird yeah in my opinion the whole point of a baby shower also that's a very steep brunch very steep i can go and get you know some waffles nice avocado toast for nine pounds so why do i need to spend 50 pounds on brunch in my opinion the whole point of a baby shower is to have one final hangout before the arrival of a child it's an optional event and can be organized at a low cost for example at home Yeah.

53:48It's up to each individual to decide where they want to organize the party. And in my opinion, the host should cover the costs and the guests bring a gift. Yeah. He completely disagreed. His argument was basically that it's not fair for him to pay for everyone. This was your fucking bright idea, mate. It was literally your bright idea. I didn't tell you to do this. Sarah didn't tell you to do this. And also, everyone's going to be bringing a gift for your child. Yeah, for you. Like you are doing this for your partner who's grown your child whilst you've just sat there. And you're just saying, oh, it's not fair for me to pay.

54:25This was your fucking bright idea. You're just shocked at how much it's costing. That's why. And you're thinking, I wouldn't have signed up for it if I knew it was going to be this much. And you're panicking thinking, oh, well, let me try and squeeze 50 quid out of each person. So his argument was not fair to pay for everyone. And if someone doesn't think the baby shower is worth 50 pounds and they simply don't have to come. He also pointed out that the actual cost per person would be much more than 50 pounds. so he's already subsidizing part of it. What is this big bash with Rowan? I think you can subsidize it all, Brian.

54:50We have some tea and cake at home, don't we? Like, what's going on? And now I'm wondering, am I being unreasonable? Would you expect to contribute towards the cost of a baby shower if you were invited as a guest? No. No. It's an optional event. Yeah. Is this something that's actually normal or am I just completely out of touch? I've been to many baby shows. I've never been asked to pay Sarah. Yeah, not at all. And more importantly, what would you do if you found out that your husband was privately messaging the guests and asking them to transfer him money for my baby shower? Sarah would be sick.

55:21She'd be so embarrassed. She'd be so embarrassed. She'd be sick at this. Because I genuinely don't know whether I'm being sensible or whether I've accidentally become the difficult one in this situation. Yeah, she'd be, Sarah would be so embarrassed. I think have a chat with Brian. Because it could just be M &S cake at home. Yeah, I think have a chat with Brian and just say like, look, it doesn't have to be this big extravagant thing we can do a lovely thing at home we can bring decorations yeah we can get some catering market we can go to mns and get those big fucking sandwich plates and all the cakes like we can go and get all the stuff all we need to do is get some bunting on amazon and go to the supermarket and just say like and for the record brian i think the guests would rather that i don't think people want to travel four hours on their saturday in one day for a brunch yeah that is not no one's having fun there that's way too much to ask of people but they're they're happy to do that as long as they don't have to pay 50 quid right do you know what i mean so it's one or the other they're not good i understand if he doesn't want to pay all of this x y and z fine let let's organize something at home yeah we don't have to do that like we don't oh we do something more local we don't have to have this big like wedding but you can't ask people for 50 pounds and then expect them to travel a four-hour round trip and get you a gift and get you a gift for your child, Brian.

56:35No. Like, I don't know what planet you're on. No. I know you didn't expect it to be this much, but you fucking brought this on yourself. We didn't ask you to do this. Yeah. So adapt, figure it out. So I don't know what planet you're on, mate. I would definitely speak to him about that. Agreed. Because also, it's easy for him because he's saying, would you mind asking the girls? But also like, he's never been to a baby shower. Like, it's not, because it's not a thing that he's gaining from, really. He doesn't see that the presence he's getting, for some reason he's not seeing these gifts that are for his wife and child are for him and he's being selfish being like well why am I going to pay for something that's not going to benefit me it's like all very selfish and I don't like it like no pay for your wife to have a beautiful baby shower if you can't afford it let's cancel it why are you even planning this or do it at home yeah we'll have a bit of tea and cake gosh

57:35Oh, God. Oh, God. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I want children. And I thought he did too. Oh, God. Nine years in, he's changed his mind. What do I do? That was fucking rhyme, Sarah. Did you know that rhymed? Oh, God. Hi, Chintzia and Sophia. Whoa. Whoa. Hey, Diva. Long time listener here. Love you lots. Love you too. Love you, girl. I'm hoping you might be able to give me some advice about something that's been weighing on me quite a lot recently. Before we read, at the end of the day, you want different things now. Yeah. And if you still want those things, you're going to have to find it elsewhere if you can't give to you them.

58:13It's like Richard and Monica. They had to break up. It is. Because Monica wanted children and Richard didn't want children. They loved each other, but at the end of the day, Richard didn't want kids. Yeah. And the longer you stay, the harder it's going to get. Exactly. And Monica eventually found Chandler, who wanted kids too. Yeah. And it all worked out. And they got the twins. Yes. Spoiler alert. I'll call my partner Brian We've been together for just over nine years We're both in our 20s I'm 26 and he's 27 Perfect Perfect You can Out we get Nip on out of that We're only 26 We're young The world's our oyster We bought our house about a year ago And generally have had a really good relationship And have built a really good life together We bought our first fur baby together last year We've obviously been together for a long time Which is partly why this situation is making me feel so unsettled The issue is children Having children has always been one of my biggest life goals.

59:04My priorities have always been along the lines of buying a house, having children and getting married. And honestly, I would happily have children before getting married. I've always said that I'd like to have a child before I'm 30. Although I completely understand that life doesn't always work out to plan. If I didn't have a baby by 30, I wouldn't consider that a disaster. What matters more is that I would have started trying around 20 or 29. so you really want kids this is your life goal this is something you've always wanted you've always been certain on that there's like been no wavering there recently his sister who was 31 has become pregnant and it's made me think more seriously about our own plans my partner has always said that he wants children when he's 30 so i've always had that in the back of my mind so he's 27 right now is that right i think she was 27 i'm 26 yeah yeah yeah okay fine Fine, fine.

1:00:01The problem is that now we've actually started talking about it properly, his feelings seem less certain. Right. Well, yeah, because that's three years. So now it's getting real. Well, yeah, he's like, that's actually three years ago now. And like, that's pretty soon. A few weeks ago, he told me that he doesn't really want children, but would have them for me. When I brought it up again recently, he said that he doesn't want children yet and wants to enjoy his 30s. Well, not having kids with this guy. Wants to enjoy his 30s. Yeah Right so You're not having babies with this man He doesn't want kids He's gonna He's retreating Big time Like Even if you got pregnant Do you think he's gonna do anything for that kid?

1:00:39No He ain't gonna be a good dad He didn't want them He's gonna be gone Yeah He's gonna be out of the house It's all gonna be on you And then he's gonna say Well you know I never wanted kids Yeah It's gonna be fucked You can't have kids with him Yeah Is he just spiraling Because he's seeing his sister having a baby You're then saying that like Oh when are we gonna start And is he just getting like freaked out? like is this panic mode or what i think i think the reality is you want a kid so like what's the big switch up well maybe he's always been like yeah you know like you know i guess everyone is getting a bit more real yeah because i bet when he's younger it's like yeah everyone has kids like yeah one day i want kids you know like yeah one day like sure but then the realities of it is like oh shit that's actually a big fucking deal oh i don't think i'm fucking ready for that yeah and yet you are ready for that and then saying to you well yeah i'll have them for you okay but i don't want that though i want to have kids with someone who also wants kids yeah like this isn't a favor yeah like like i need your fucking support yeah like you can't just be like if you want no because it doesn't work like that and i don't want it to work like that like i need your support his plan is is that our current mortgage deal finishes around 2030 when i'll be around 30 and he'll be around 31 he wants us to move into a bigger house first then start trying for a baby so he's saying like when we're in our 30s those days that could potentially mean i'm 30 or 31 before we even start trying and potentially older by the time we actually have a baby i understand he wants a bigger house we could afford to move and have more space and i know having a child is a huge decision but personally i don't feel that we need to wait for another house I think our current house could comfortably accommodate one baby.

1:02:23We're planning to have our kitchen renovated next year, which will be a major piece of work and expense. Once that's done, I feel like the house will be a really good position for us to start thinking about the kids. Ideally, like 2028 or 2029 to be the point where we start trying. I'm not saying we need to put loads of pressure on ourselves or that I expect to become pregnant immediately. In fact, I'd be happy to just stop preventing it and see what happens. If it took a couple of years, then that's obviously something we'll deal with together. I know people have children in their 30s and 35s all the time.

1:02:56I'm not saying that that's too old. This is more about my own feelings and the fact that I've always wanted to start trying, like now. I'd rather have some time to find out whether we can conceive than leave it until I'm 31 or 32 and only then discovering that we might have difficulties. The thing that scares me the most is not actually that he wants to wait. it's the yeah he's giving that he he doesn't ever want to really in my opinion it's kind of giving that you you're obviously on different pages and i'm just worried like is he just trying to push this down the road and make it a problem for another day yeah i think so like if you actually don't want do you either not want children or are you just not ready yet i think that's a very different conversation i think he's seeing it as something that you really want and he's like i don't really want that but i don't i don't really i can't really tell her that so in my mind okay yeah let me just push it back and say yeah down the road new house new house like yeah 2020 yeah 2030 like when we got a new house new house yeah but he's he's telling you i want to enjoy my 30s yeah he's literally saying i don't want kids i want to i want to i want to enjoy my 30s is what he's saying yeah and you've got to take that as like i don't think you're feeling maternal and that you're wanting to have a fucking kid.

1:04:11So you're panicking a bit. You're thinking, well, I don't - Well, naturally. You've been nine years. You're thinking, what? Yeah, I don't want to be trying when I'm 30. You know, there's all those factors that you're considering. At the same time, I don't want to pressure him into having a child he doesn't want. Yeah. Yeah, that's the last thing you want. You do not want a child with a man who doesn't want a child, please. I would never want him to feel like he had to become a father just because it's what I want. If he genuinely doesn't want children, then I need him to be honest with me. Yeah, exactly.

1:04:38Even though it'd be really difficult for me to hear. I also struggle because whenever I try to have this conversation face to face, I feel like he shuts it down and doesn't really engage with me. Well, you're going to have to start engaging, mate, because like this is life now. And that's kind of scared me. I can't accept that at this point. That's kind of scared me because I think that to me is telling me he doesn't want kids, but he can't bear to tell you. Doesn't want to tell you, yeah. Because he doesn't want to break up with you, but he knows that this is going to be the make or break for you.

1:05:03Beginning of the end, yeah. Because he knows that time is nigh. I find texting much easier because he can read what I've said process it and then respond properly I've actually already sent him a message about all of this I suppose what I'm really asking is how do I move forward from here how do I know whether this is simply a case of him not feeling ready yet or whether he genuinely doesn't want kids and how long is reasonable reasonable for me to wait for someone to decide when having children is such an important part of my own future I love him and I don't want to throw away a nine-year relationship over something that might eventually work itself out big risk sarah but at the same time i don't want to ignore something that is such a fundamental life goal for me and then regret it years down the line yeah i'd really appreciate your perspective because i feel like i'm going around in circles in my own head pics attached and our cats oh this is the baby this is the couple really gorgeous lovely stunning lovely very nice beautiful image honestly great dress stunning baby oh wait the The cat is Gorge.

1:06:00The cat is Gorge. He's going to have to start answering some fucking questions is all I'm saying. He needs to grow up big time. Grow the fuck up. Like if we're going to have adult conversations, big conversations, you need to like meet me here and like actually communicate with me. Yeah, because I can't wait around in four years. You can't just drip drab and like leave me hanging on these comments of, oh, I would if you wanted or not till I'm in my 30s or when we've gotten bigger. Like, no, no, no, no. Okay, we're going to sit down. It sounds like he's just sworn a sweet, sweet, sweet, sweet. Yeah, he doesn't want to talk about it.

1:06:31Yeah. And I think it's like, no, no, no. We're going to sit down. We're going to have a proper conversation about this. We've been together for nine fucking years. I think you can chat to me, mate. We don't have to do this on text. Like, you're a grown up. I think you can chat to me. Nine years, we can communicate. I think you can chat. And if we can't communicate, we've got different problems. Yeah, I think you can chat to me. And I think he needs to be really honest with you about what's going on in his head, whether he does not want children, whether he's not sure if he wants children, whether he actually wants children later than what you guys originally thought you wanted and it's as simple as that and it's that's it it is actually simple he just has to be honest he just has to communicate and then that is the like that's the least he could do communicate what he's feeling and then you guys can move forward or not move forward from there but to be all like oh yeah maybe but no but if you want like that's too vague for something that is so binary like we're having one or we're not in my eyes he's already said i don't want a child but i'll have one if you want one that but then he's saying when we move house when i'm 33 you'll be 31 the fundamentals of that is that he said i don't want a child i'm only going to have one because it's what you want yeah that to me is saying do not have a child with this man yeah me too please i'm begging you it'll be a nightmare you do not want that man to be the father of your child like you cannot yeah like that it's to me sounds like no no no run run this isn't a topic that he can avoid and not speak about when in my eyes you can find someone in two years time who's going to want a baby straight away and really it's going to be really excited about being a problem yeah no problem and then bingo we've met someone who actually wants to be a dad really excited about it really really wants it and it's gonna be a great dad this is a big topic that we need to discuss is giving like i don't want to be a dad i'm just doing it because you want to do it not gonna not really bothered not i'm not really gonna be a great dad yeah kind of thing and i'm not really gonna support you because i didn't want this in the first place so i'm actually not gonna be here for you really because this is what you wanted that's what that's giving to me and i'm a bit scared of that you've got lots you're gonna chat down chat down you're gonna sit down with him and say whoa whoa whoa hey so clarification needed i want a baby do you want a child be fucking honest with me because i think i might have to break up with you if you don't but i need you to be like honest with me and like he needs to answer these questions honestly that's it yeah because you're not having a child with a man who says i don't want a baby i'm only having one if you want one no no no way even if it's been nine years doesn't matter please please and also like we're not just waiting around for five years just to see if you want to just to see if he changes his mind because that is giving your it's not no that to me is saying that you don't want a child you're just saying that to me to keep me around for a bit longer that's what that's saying because I think you know have your conversation Sarah you need to really get to the bottom of this I think so don't just let him like brush it off and like tell you to speak like no no no we need to chat now you're only 26 Sarah you can move on with someone else world's your oyster absolutely and yeah I think you don't need to stay with this guy just because you've been with him for nine years at the end of the day you can move on and you will be okay and meet someone better suited take the cap who aligns with your future endeavors goals you know you can find someone who's gonna align you don't have to stay with him just because it's been nine years keep us posted on the combo definitely let us know if you get anywhere he needs to grow up and be honest what it's giving is that he doesn't want kids because he can't because if he wanted them he would say you would just say so he's being avoided I feel like what's maybe happened here is you guys have had chats a few years ago probably yeah when you were really younger saying that you wanted to try have him try for a baby when you were like 26 27 that time has now arrived and you're thinking okay well your sister's just had a baby pretty good timing let's get the cousin on the way like here we go yeah and he's now panicking thinking whoa whoa whoa well he's going oh actually no i'm actually not sure about this anymore um i need a few more years to think about this and you're thinking what do you mean a few more years we always said years ago that we were like i think you he's just not being honest and he he's just not willing to be honest because he can't have a child if he doesn't want a child it's unfair on the child and unfair on him too like he shouldn't He wouldn't be having kids he doesn't want to have.

1:10:43Exactly. Like he owes it to himself to be honest. If you don't want to have a job, that's fine. But you just need to speak. But you need to tell me. Yeah. Because you can't impregnate me. We need to get back on the same page. Yeah. And then be like, well, I told you you don't want to be a dad. Like I told you I wasn't really going to be a great father. I didn't really want this. You know? No. You can figure this out, Sarah. Don't panic. Just conversations. Open communication is needed and some honesty. And you will figure out what's meant to be will be. And be serious with him. Be like, you can't.

1:11:07like this isn't the text convo please should we have our star of the week please oh my god what a week wow what a week hey divas oh divas love you ladies and the pod so much I would like to nominate Lucas as star of the week star of the week my Brian and I are long distance blueberry nose star of the week means we're wrapping up I'm in York he's in London I always talk to him about all the food spots you guys go to how delicious they all look and how much I want to go. Last Friday, I got the train down to see him. He picked me up from the station with a bunch of flowers and wouldn't tell me where we were going.

1:11:44Shut up. Lo and behold, it was Cafe Knack. Shut up. Shut up. However, the queue was ridiculous. Yeah, that queue is big. Oh, I'm so sorry. I wasn't moving. I had all my bags. I told him, don't worry, we can just go somewhere else. I felt bad making him wait. He made sure we stayed in the queue, carried all my bags and would not let us leave as he knew how badly I wanted to cry. I'm going to cry. That's really sweet. Listen, And we've been in that queue and it is a serious queue. It's a rough queue. It doesn't go down either. It's a rough queue. It took us about 40 minutes, but we got him. Okay, 40 minutes.

1:12:11It was the most romantic evening, amazing food and showed me that he really, that to be loved is to be seen. Is to be known and seen. That's really considerate. He really is the kindest and most generous and loving man I've ever met. That is beautiful. Shout out to my Lucas. Lucas. I love you so much. Shout out Luke. Love you girls. Thanksgiving me entertained. Pics attached. Shut up. Oh, Sarah and Lucas. Is this from Cafe Nerd? no but lovely no they're not a cafe knack but you're looking gorgeous guys oh so he listened to you yeah he heard you he made a note of it and then he made an action and took you somewhere I hope you got the fish sliders oh and that vodka pasta the fish sliders yeah they are we had them for tea did we yeah yeah oh my bad I'm making things up I hope you had those they're the best thing on the day yeah oh I actually am craving I think we picked the cafe knack well we love you guys so much we do please email your dilemmas to hello at the girls bathroom dot com absolutely and your star of the week entries and I guess message your hotlines.

1:13:04Let us know if you liked the hotline. We want your feedback. Text us, send your voice notes in there. We are ready to go. We'll see you next Wednesday and on Monday. Love ya. Bye.

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