Boy Talk: I caught Brian in my MUM’S bed?!!

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1:32Oh my God. Shall I just dive into this? Yeah. We've got a case of, this isn't incest. This is just wrong. He slept. Have you heard this? No. He slept with my mom.

1:53Maybe, maybe they didn't have sex. Maybe they were just in the bed together, but that's still fucking weird. Wait, Do I see him again? Maybe she's got a young mum. Do you know what I mean? Why did your mum sleep with him though? Maybe she's just met him and... No, sorry. This is a girl's bathroom first.

2:18Let's get this party started right. I look like Rooms has thrown up on me. Yeah, I didn't get the memo that we were here at PJ. don't support our brand like the uh the anti uh someone commented on one of my tiktoks one time you know when um uh joey is in the uh in his ferrari yes he's got the hat someone said that's what i looked like but room's version yeah well uh we eat sleep oh yeah but it's my own brand honey so and we are in your own home absolutely welcome what else would you be wearing in your I've had to walk across the communal areas. You know, I wouldn't walk in my dressing gown personally.

2:58That's true. Well, I did intend on putting clothes on. I was actually going to whack on my new Sister Seeker's jumper. Love it. But I thought, do you know what? Let's, you know, stay in the coffees. Let's stay cozy. Look, I wish I was a little bit cosier. In the house coat, if you will. Yeah. You've got your house jeans on. God, look at me. They sat here in denim. Crazy. These are so your flying jeans, aren't they? What's flying jeans? Those jeans you flew in Your Citizens of Humanity jeans No, no, no These aren't Oh, fine Yeah Fine They are Yeah, they're in the wardrobe Are you going to fly in them next week?

3:32Your Citizens of Humanity flying jeans? No Okay I was just suggesting something You want a little fashion show? I actually bought some Citizens of Humanity joggers And they're my new favourite joggers Oh, okay Well, if they make comfy jeans They're a bit of a Absolutely You know Jeans Comfortable enough to fly in Absolutely. Yeah, they're almost like a yellow. Not usually my color, but they're like almost a barrel leg. Again, not usually my shape. Barrel yellow. Okay. Autumn is strange. It was an... Well, to be fair. A barrel yellow. On the website, I thought they were white. They came yellow.

4:08Okay. But I've had compliments. Oh, okay. Which is enough for me. You know, take... Yeah, absolutely. I'll take it where I can get it. I haven't had a compliment in a while, actually. So you enjoy that. Well in real life You guys always shout me with love Cheers to that Love and well wishes and adornments I've got my matcha here today Even though you can't see it Because the road's covering it It is funny that we all wear Like we all choose different clothes every day Like why aren't we just all wearing the same thing? Because we've got personalities Individuality We want to express ourselves What's comfortable on one Might not be comfortable on another It's quite interesting really Like seeing what everyone's chosen to wear Yeah it's quite lovely It's quite lovely Yeah it's quite nice Because it's like, oh, your little brain thought, oh, I'm going to put on the horizontal stripes and the humanity genes.

4:54My little brain went, oh, I'm going to, you know. Do the cozy. It's really quite sweet, actually. Quite lovely. Like, I need to do that. Have you seen the TikTok trend on with the dogs? And you chuck the, what, two toys? Their sexuality, their political party. Oh, what? So I would get, I would write down on pieces of paper, like, all the different sexualities. okay i would chuck them onto the floor and then blueberry chooses which one hers is and she's kind of telling me which one she is is she a lesbian is she straight is she bisexual oh i like that yeah and you do that so i do need to do that on blueberry and then she can tell me a bit more about herself you know character what's she like what's your favorite color is it but you know what's your favorite film like do you actually favorite time of day yeah what is your who's your favorite answer yeah like yeah exactly things like that and like you know where do you like to go what do you like to do you know do you like it when i have friends on the tv or yeah you know would you rather i put something else on is there any music you like yeah like those are all things like smell yeah yeah like do you like it when mummy does this yeah do you like it when mummy does that yeah do you like cute i like that yeah it's this trend on tiktok it's really funny i need to do it well i'm into that i'm into that a lot well i'm thinking about getting into baking would you like me to bake you something i would like um because you know what i'm getting bought for Christmas?

6:14I would like bread sourdough I was just about to say do you know what I'm getting bought for Christmas? Wow a bread maker a bread maker wow very nice my mother-in-law has because she makes bread very very often well doesn't the bread maker just like do it all for you and it's so fucking easy you just chuck it all in the thing and then it just makes it so every time I go to her house the house smells of freshly cooked bread and she's like it's just my bread maker and I'm like respectfully you know me you know I ain't making bread and she has told me I will get you the same machine as me. You do not do anything.

6:47You put the ingredients in. So I'm going to have to get the ingredients, which is going to be the first hurdle, but get the ingredients in. It's bread flour, flour, and water. And then you don't touch it. I thought you'd be kneading and setting and rising and poking and fridge and out and yada, yada, yada. So you don't do anything and it gives you a loaf of bread. Yeah. I've seen it before. It's like magic. It's like the ice maker. It's like you just put the ingredients in, you let it cook and that's it. It's gone. It needs it. it doesn't rip it and it comes out like a really nice beautiful life i know so december 25th yeah i'm gonna be opening a bread maker yeah i would like that so december 26th i can absolutely get a loaf of bread over to you i just need half a loaf get me through okay that's fine half a loaf or something you can put it in the freezer so i'll give you a full i'm not defrosting toast no you don't have to defrost you put it in the toaster you take the icicle that stresses me out like that's the angie thing i'm just gonna freeze the bread i can't deal with frozen bread sorry it's literally a piece of bread and then I'll put it in the toaster yeah then I'll put it in the toaster it'll be frozen on the inside no you click the icicle on the thing but I'll do that and it'll still be frozen on the inside it won't because that's what I do every day three and a half minutes icicle perfect toast I don't trust it well I'll have to bring it listen we'll do this podcast at my house next time and I'll make you a piece of bread and I'll say you're enjoying that I'll say yeah it was frozen three minutes ago yeah but I'm going through bread I can eat it fresh you don't need to freeze I'm getting through it so don't worry about me yeah yeah um well yeah that's just a childhood trauma thing okay frozen bread i'm sorry you experienced that like just put the bread in the freezer like what just get the bread out of the freezer what do you mean like i can't that just and then what no there's something about that it's amazing so but yeah i would also because i've really been cooking a lot we spoke about this most nights now but i'd like to start salmon in the oven eggs on the scrambled absolutely eggs scrambled um but i'd like to start baking well i think step one watch bake off that's step one that's true 100 that is very advanced it's not like i just want a banana no no step one watch bake off okay 100 it'll get your juices flowing you'll see some different flowers and techniques and some different flavors and stuff and i think that is step one just to get the brain ticking because right now no offense creativity i can't see you baking a banana bread loaf what why i've made many in my time have you wow well the way she speaks to me is terrible but i think watch that no it's been a long time since i baked get the pickles i'm not baking lydia baylor solo style let me be clear right but is that what you're aiming for she's not that good so don't worry about it no like i just won like oh yeah here's some banana bread that I've made on Sunday.

9:31Yeah. I'm eating this throughout the week. Well, listen, I used to fucking whip up banana bread all the time. Yeah, that's all I want. It's easy. Can you read a recipe? Yes. Can you? Yes. Can you read a recipe? Absolutely. I'm very literate. Okay. Can you follow a recipe? Yeah. Easy. You can bake. Yeah. Do you have an oven? Anyone can cook, according to Ratatouille. Yes. And according to Remy's cooking book, let's get cooking. Maybe you should buy that. Yeah. It's more like meats and stuff maybe. Less bakery. Well, look, I've become very handy in the kitchen. Jack of potatoes, spaghetti bolognese.

10:07Yeah, I love that. You name it, I can make it. Absolutely. So I'm thinking of merging into the sweet treat territory. What if I ask for some salmon crispy rice? I just don't want to eat that myself. So I'm going to lose the excitement. What if I ask for a breakfast burrito? That sounds good. I actually think I'm going to make one. That sounds really good. It's my blueberry. It's getting the tortilla crispy. What, after you filled it? Yeah. Yeah. It's almost like we need a panini. I think a panini maker would do it. And I used to have one and I don't have it anymore, which is so stupid. Yeah, but you could just put it in a pan and put a hard press on it.

10:48I know. You know, it would get nice crisp. Sometimes it does, yeah, but you have to get it right. Anyway. Okay. Absolutely. Well, we're here live and direct from Chinstee's. Happy Wednesday. For that. we've got blueberry here fully recovered from space surgery we've got water we've got matcha cheers tears the season you guys right I'm going to dive in and you know what the beauty of being at home is if I want another matcha I can pause this right now and go make myself another one okay it really is a nice way to live that's beautiful welcome back take us through Dilemma number one Sophia I've got to do the question of the week first Oh god I forgot how my own show works According to our episode structure I forgot how my own show works Well Speaking of learning new talents Baking Banana breads What is something you absolutely refuse to learn to do?

11:43Chintzy Baylor Solo Drive Listen Listen It will happen one day Everyone just get off my arse It will happen when it happens I'm not worried about it I ain't worried about nothing. I ain't worried about... No, because I'd be more worried if I was behind the fucking wheel. Blueberry! Shh, baby. It's okay. Come and sit with us. Come and settle down, child. Baby, baby, baby. Yeah, driving is one of them ones. I think it will happen when I'm 40. Me too. Like in 20... I think it's cool. In 11 years. I think it's very chic. I think it's chic not to drive. Absolutely. Absolutely. Take it from me. What is something that I'm refusing to learn how to do?

12:29I mean, listen, look, I've learned how to do my own blow dry. So that's true. That's really good steps. So true. What else are things we will refuse to do? I will refuse to... I mean, look, I said I'd never pick up a dog's poo. I pick up poo every single day of my life. That's true. And that's growth. Yeah. Like, seriously. I put my hand right in that poo. That warm, hot poo. That warm, hot poo. Squidgy poo, like, genuinely. Maybe we'll all get inspired. Change attire. Yeah, I ain't doing that Reverse park Yeah, that's not Let me I could give you a lesson on reverse park I don't even know What that even would be I am the best reverse parker There is Wow Well, get on Top Gear then You know, show the people Honestly, I'm really good at reverse parking I'm really happy with you Thank you The phonetic alphabet, of course The sugar Sierra Leone's of a door Oh Yeah The alpha mega The rules of rugby None of my business Rules of rugby, nah Tie my shoelaces properly Okay I wonder how you are tying them If you can get them up in some sort of fashion, it doesn't matter.

13:25It doesn't have to be a perfect bow. Long division. I ain't doing that. No. Cook rice. Yeah, it's not for me. Yeah. Just heat it up in the microwave. I've got my sushi microwave rice. Right, right. Learn how reg plates work. Yeah, I'm with you on this. Is there a way they work? Yeah, there's like a thing to it. I know. The number on it is like how old the car is. It doesn't make any sense. But then why are people allowed personalized number plates? Well, you just got to pay for it. Yeah, but if your number plate displays... Because people don't need to know how old your car is. Oh, I see. Number plates is a really weird thing.

14:02So weird. But anyway, I have this car thing. You're good at this. Build Ikea furniture. When have I built Ikea furniture? You've built stuff. I've seen you built that lamp the other day. Oh, absolutely. Yeah, yeah. I mean, I could have built an Ikea box wardrobe, but I could put together, up to be fair, put together a stool. Console table? Yeah, yeah, fine. Filing my taxes. Oh, well, that's... Changing the time on the oven clock. That's not my business. Even... Play chess. Even my watch is set to whatever time. Yeah, same, actually. I ain't looking down on that watch. It's an accessory. Wait, what did you say?

14:37Matches, what? Play chess. No chance. Yeah, I... Tell the time on an analogue clock. We could do that. We're really good at that. I think England is. It's America who doesn't know how to do that. Yeah, we're really good at 24-hour clock. 13 is 1 14 is 2 13 is 3 we're good at that I like that on our phones it is that it is that I enjoy it me too at 1500 hours I'll see you it's like I think I always think I grasped it because my mum's clock in her bedroom was 24 hour really so I just always used to remember looking at that and just kind of like knowing it as a child yeah like young I think I was just born with this girl yeah I think we just had it but I think if it your mum's very 24 hour clock people but some people just aren't yeah and that's absolutely fine yeah it's in our genes you could say yeah Australians I don't think are either aren't they don't think so I mean I only know like two Australians but I only know two of them so like the whole of Australia I know like two of them yeah learn what goes in what compartment of the washing machine drop yet couldn't tell you yeah I'm free balling that it's a lucky guess isn't it I had that this morning I just chuck it in the base I just chuck it in the base of the drum I've started putting it in the base of the drum I'm getting it all about fans.

15:52Fans? Hands. Put petrol in the car. Yeah. I know how to do that. That's a scary job. Bleed radiators. Yeah. Fuck knows. None of that. Lure my left from right. Come on. We can maybe do that. Marianna doesn't know that. She's a teacher. Marianna doesn't know that. But look, we could maybe do that. That would maybe be good. Yeah. Understanding stocks and investing. Look, each to their own. Change a light bulb. Yeah, light bulbs is something I can't grasp. I could do that. Do you know what? Light bulbs? Not in the ceiling, but I could unscrew it from a lamp and re-screw. Yeah, me too. But lamps are similar to batteries.

16:30Triple A, double A, LED, FA. All I know is I want warm white. That's what I say. I take a picture of the socket and I say to the man, hi, I need one of these. Warm white, please. Oh, I guess that's the hack then. Yeah, it's their job. They've been trained in light bulbs. I refuse to learn how to iron. I mean, yeah, I think it's a common sense thing. It's just like, you know, put the iron on the creases and just kind of go for it. There's not much learning involved. I know there is technique to it, but as long as you're getting the job done, Sarah. Yeah, looks fine to me. Never learn where the bins get collected.

17:04Yeah, red day, green day, blue day. Put the green bin out, put the black bin out. It's green bin day. If you don't put it out today, you're not going to collect it for two weeks. See, I had to learn that. Yeah, I remember. And it's bad if you miss it. Well, I know. Fuck. Now my bin is full and I've got two weeks. It's fucked. See, here we're very lucky because they take everything every week. Whereas in knots, it's recycling week or it's rubbish week. Well, I have something called the bin chute. Well, yeah, I know. It's amazing. Chook it down the chute. Get it down the chute. But do you remember when we had that brief period in that Airbnb?

17:42And we just put it outside. Everything just goes. Oh, every day. Not every day, every week. But yeah, you wouldn't have a bin. No, but it's recycling and rubbish every week. Whereas at home, it's a recycling week and a rubbish week. Yes, yes. And then sometimes I just won't. It's a mind field out there. Sometimes I would just miss the bin, hey? It's like, they didn't even take my bin. I had to wheel it to the front. Yeah, because it's like, God, my bin didn't get collected. Or what the best thing is, is when you've got a great neighbor who puts it out for you if you forget. Oh, that's really lovely.

18:11That's actually very neighborly and very lovely. And it's also nice to put someone else's bin back if you're not crossing in front of maybe a front window. Yeah, that's really nice. Wow, that's really nice neighbour things. Would that have crossed my mind? Yeah, if I was having a good day. Oh, look, little Susan next door. Little Susie. Put that bin back. That's really nice. That's really nice. That's Mother Teresa stuff. Giving myself a manicure or pedicure. I mean, I could do it. I could do it if we needed. Top polish, you know us. My times table. Don't know them. Do not know them. I know that 10 times 10 is 100.

18:49Five times five, 25. 25. Never forget that one. But the ones with fours and sixes. The eights of it all. The sevens and the eights. It ain't happening. Seven times eight is 56. I think that's it. We have a beautiful thing called a calculator. My mum knows her times table. I mean, look, I wish I did. And my granny finds it crazy that we just don't know that. But we try to. I think they tried to teach us. I think we knew them at one point, but we just didn't retain that. Well, we just knew it as like, almost like a rhyme. A rhyme. Do you know what I mean? It's like 20 foot, you know, we knew it as like a, I don't know them now.

19:25But not actually as like a, yes, of course, four times six is 48. What is seven times six? Well, I'd have to go like this. Six. One, two, three. 12. No, six times six is 36, right? Go for the doubles. well i just have to go up this six 12 18 24 30 wow look at me fucking go 36 42 jesus so it's quick because i would go still sharp six 12 18 19 21 22 23 24 right obviously 29 stick to the box not my strong point we've got user can opener look I understand the difficulties there french plat I also understand the difficulties there but we can do that cook chicken I can do that these days you've just got to make sure it's not red on the inside re-pressurise my boiler fucking hell no and play in card games I could do a card game or two a little bit here a little bit there

20:37just before we get into it quick disclaimer just as we are not doctors we are not professionals we do not actually know what we are talking about this is a light-hearted space okay don't take what we say literally because we could be wrong yeah and if there's anything serious if there's anything you feel like you're seriously struggling with please contact a gp a professional because that is not us we're just girls girls and boys just like you we're just trying to get through life as well. Not professionals. Enjoy the episode.

21:05Oh my God. Shall I just dive into this? Yeah. We've got a case of, this isn't incest. This is just wrong. He slept. Have you heard this? No. He slept with my mom.

21:26Maybe they didn't have sex Maybe they were just in the bed together But that's still fucking weird Do I see him again? Maybe she's got a young mum Do you know what I mean? Why did your mum sleep with him though? Maybe she's just met him And No sorry this is a girl's bathroom first How young is your mum? How old is this guy? Well listen mum could have had me at 18 right so then if i'm now 22 yeah how old's mum so the times tables all over again 22 plus 18 is 40 how did you do that so quick listen i am listen i'm fucking sharp she's sharp as a whip so 40 40 is young like that's us in 10 years babe like we're still young yeah yeah that is young god yeah body's right yeah body's right body's right and yeah i've met him too in a bar and i've had sex with him and then my daughter's gone in and also met him right it can happen first time writer i'll get straight into it this is probably and will be my wildest story so i'm currently living at home with my mom but this it could be nothing of the soul maybe he went and slept with her instead of you okay not ideal for a girl in her late 20s especially when it comes to dating usually i don't bring guys back but this time i made an exception oh my god so you welcomed him into your home and he then went to have sex with your mum some mums hate their children yeah and it's really sad and this is an example of that unless there was some grave mistake some grave error and you look identical from the back like that lady like that lady but there's but the fact that the penis entered the vagina is is i'm hoping it was just a head on a pillow and we didn't there was no sexual entering did he enter the wrong room and then it's dark two brunette ladies you know maybe like they were spooning but still mom hello you've got a man in your bed who's not usually in there anyway right mum's off our rocker so she's saying that this time i made an exception i bought a guy back i met a six foot three australian guy on hinge we went for a drink which turned into a few too many he was very funny super sweet and had a lovely time we live he lived on the other side of london so by the time we'd left the bar his last train was long gone i said he can stay but no funny business because my mum is at home kind of a buzzkill when When we were home, one thing led to another.

24:03Cut to 3am and Brian goes to the toilet naked and very, very drunk. What the fuck are you on about, Sarah? What are you about to say? So I brought Brian back. We are having sex. Mum's in the home, but she's asleep. He goes to the toilet naked. So I'm assuming it's a bathroom in the hall situation. So he's gone out into the communal areas, but mum's asleep. So it's like, just be quick. Oh my God.

24:35So he was naked Very drunk Next thing I know I wake up And my mum's standing At the end of my bed Brian is nowhere to be seen She says Susan Who the fuck is in my bed Okay So he wandered into The wrong room Yeah okay Which is an easy mistake Okay mum's got up Susan who the fuck is here I'm disorientated It's late Why is that He didn't know where he was going Right I put the pieces together and scream brian had accidentally gone into my room's mom's room got into her bed naked my mom somehow half asleep assumed it was me getting into her bed and she held this boy's hand and when he got very twitchy feely and cuddly and went to grab her boob she clearly knew it wasn't me in her bed the trauma even writing this that is fucking insane that actually knocked that is fucked so he got in bed they held thinking it was you he went and touched her boob and she was like, wait a second, why the fuck's my daughter fucking touching my boob?

25:32Oh my god, how do we even recover from this? She must have been absolutely petrified. Your poor mother. It's really scary. She must have had the fright of her life. It's really scary. I screamed at him to get out of her bed. He came running back into my room, past me and my mum, holding himself and dived back into the bed to hide. He was shouting apologies to us both while my mum stood in disbelief. I was still very drunk, like naked and confused. Oh, you poor thing. So scared, naked and confused. Naked and afraid. naked and afraid. My mum was obviously fuming with me for letting this guy into the house and she stormed out of my room.

26:04Okay, well look, she's been waking up. So it's the middle of the night. This is a fucking jump scare and a half. It's really scary. Especially, you know, you don't bring guys back to your home. She wasn't expecting it. This is very out of character for you. She's like, what the fuck? Yeah. Mum's obviously thinking the worst of like, who even is this guy? Yeah, it could have been an intruder. It's not safe to be bringing big men back to our house. Yeah, and she hadn't had a, it wasn't like, I might be bringing a guy back tonight just in case, you know, I've been seeing someone new. I might be bringing him back tonight.

26:33Like she was like, so mom's piss stormed out the room. After letting him know how ridiculously stupid he is, he fell back asleep. I'm shocked. He didn't do a runner, to be honest. The next morning, he was very apologetic, embarrassed and confused. He stayed for coffee and we ended up laughing over the whole scenario. My mom also eventually saw the funny side in the morning. Thank God. Okay, so we're kind of fine now. Okay. I let him know. We're not traumatized. He was lucky that she didn't attack him. She's a single mom, so she takes precautions. cut to the next day we've been chatting a bit mainly about how we can't believe that happened and if we ever get married at least he's met the parents it's actually quite sweet i mean it's quite a funny story for the wedding and it's like mum seeing the humor in it yeah i'm glad that we can laugh at this me and my mum managed to to look each other in the eye and went out for food when we arrived home there was a package at the door he sent her flowers and an apology to go with it that's really nice it's really sweet as he should i'd always thought a date would be getting me flowers for my mum but here we are c note attached below um obviously the note says i think it's susan i'm very sorry for interrupting your sleep thank you very much for the something something please accept this as a token of my apology signed brian that's really sweet well yes thank you obviously a ridiculous situation he's asked to go for drinks and see if anything can be salvaged um we did have a nice time on the date and he does seem sweet the flowers were a nice touch but girls my dilemma is can i go on a second date with a boy who's essentially slept with my mom i mean okay i actually think you can go he i think he sounds quite nice slept with my mom is a little bit misleading there a little bit of a far shot yeah any advice welcome no one i know has been in the situation surprisingly look i think we all laughed it off.

28:14Mum saw the funny in it. It's kind of like, oh, yeah. I think he sent flowers. Nice. That was really good of him. And it's memorable. Listen, it's memorable. He made an impression. And he apologized and you guys were getting on and it's like, oh. I think there might be something there. Me too. I think it could be the start of a fun love story. As long as your mum's relationship is still intact, which sounds like it is. He went for a nice coffee or whatever the next day, looked at each other in the eye. He sent you some flowers. Yeah. As long as that relationship's intact We're good to go Look the good thing is We're laughing about this as a team You know we're all laughing about this Which I think is the most important thing It's a great story at the wedding day It really is a fantastic story The night I met your mother The good thing is is that Your mum Sorry oat milk Your mum didn't roll over And start slugging him Thank god Because I thought It was going to be that situation So did I I thought she was going to have Grabbed his penis And got a go But she didn't So we kind of went on a mammoth journey there, but then to end in, yeah, I think we can do a second date.

29:17Me too. You know, it's fine. See how, keep us posted. You could go on a date. You might be wildly uncomfortable, Sarah, and then that might be it. Do you know what I mean? Yeah, there's no harm in a drink. And like, he's not coming back to ours after this drink. Like, we'll just go, like, let's just see if there's a vibe. If we're going back, we'll travel across the fucking other end of London to your place, Brian. Absolutely, yeah.

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30:22Actually, over the holidays, Michael had a dental emergency and seemingly every office was closed. But we hopped onto ZocDoc, found an in-network dentist, had great reviews, saw real-time appointments available, which was key. It was on New Year's Day and booked an appointment in just minutes. It took so much of the stress out of the already stressful situation. ZocDoc makes it easy to search and compare over 250 ,000 local in-network providers across more than 200 specialties. So you can find the right doctor or dentist and book instantly. Taking care of your health just got easier. Download the ZocDoc app today and book that appointment on your to-do list.

31:05That's Z-O-C-D-O-C. ZocDoc.

31:23Okie dokie. Dilemma number two. My 10-year best friend chose lifestyle over our friendship. It's a lifestyle, Brian. Is it drinking and drugs? I put money on drugs. I've heard a lot about She needs the down With pressure Cocaine cheaters recently What does that mean? What do you think it means? People who cheat When they're on cocaine Ding ding ding Well done Yeah just like Kind of men They go and do loads of coke And then that's how They're kind of cheating I'll give you names Offer Well is that their excuse? That's just how They're That's just How they're choosing To go and cheat it's like a it's like a group affair oh shit like a like a you know like a night that's what they're doing yeah cocaine disgusting mountains of cocaine i've heard oh my god who've you been talking to do you have a new friend that i don't know about listen i've got my connects okay listen i'm in the industry okay i learn a lot of things right mountains being in being in the industry you know it's eye-opening okay we've never been around drink or drugs drink yes not drugs absolutely do not don't do not condone drugs of it all no do your dare courses i was gonna i saw a t-shirt on revolve the other day dare with a tiger and i was like yeah make it trendy people need to be reminded the actual logo oh yeah because it's an american thing yes i was like wow bring it back yeah they had it in america didn't they right back in june i moved into a flat with my best friend of 10 years shout out michael montorosso helen shout out drugs abuse leave him alone oh you said him you're the one who took it too far we were both okay let's move on from mr m what a great last name though i do think i would love to be mrs montorosso not with michael such a ring to it.

33:25But it's got a beautiful allure. What was his brother called? Because the Michael and she was called Michelle, the M and the M's of it all was genius. What was the brother called? The mum's one. Anyway, shout out to all monstrosters of the world. I moved into a flat with my best friend of 10 years, Helen. We were both really excited but right from the start there were financial red flags. Helen didn't have the money for her half of the deposit or the first month's rent. Okay, so we're off to a bad start. immediately you've just moved in she's got no money for the rent or the deposit and it's like oh that's hell irresponsible irresponsible have we not agreed that this rent is affordable for the both of us this is how much the deposit is so we're obviously going to split that and the fact that she kind of pulled the wool over your eyes moved in and going oh whoops whoopsie you're gonna have to cover that for me for a moment that's that's cheeky because i trusted her I paid the full deposit and lent her the rent money Tinder swindled you on the agreement she would pay me back £50 a month for context she earns £20k more a year than me why is she Tinder swindling you then?

34:34why is she scamming you she's your best friend of 10 years too she's literally just chosen to scam you and knows you're pushed over and that's like she's just she's doing that just to fucking take the piss we set up a joint account for bills which worked fine for the first two months we were having a great time living together but over time Helen started using the joint account for her personal expenses when she ran now come on now that's for the bills when the actual bills were due she would tell me she couldn't top it up and would pay me back the following month I would have been understanding if she was struggling for essentials but she's always ordering clothes deliverooing daily and buying takeaways multiple times a week oh this is really really not a good situation and also it's like we're locked in here for a year on this contract yeah you're my best friend yeah but you're just taking and you're shitting on me yeah you're you're taking the piss out of me now so you owe me how how much was this deposit two over two grand yeah so you owe me like 1.5 grand it's also just like it's it's very sneaky and it's just it's just really like oh gross behavior that you're going into our joint for your own bits yes when like you earn plenty more than I do it's just it's not fair like that's our built like and then you're saying oh I can't top it up but you've been going shopping and on PLT and ASOS but what it is is she's just blatantly taken advantage of your generosity and that's that she literally taking advantage of your generosity yeah and she knows that you won't say anything kind of thing she knows yeah maybe she feels like she kind of can dominate over you and it's like absolutely but but but that's a basic respect thing yeah we're living together bills are 50 50 yeah you know make sure you oh is that this is really during this time i started seeing a guy named brian he's the kindest most lovely person we went to school together but never really crossed paths back then and on our first date he told me he'd already planned to move to australia in three months right okay sorry i just kind of dissociated then so what we've just met this guy three months ago she started seeing a guy but now Now he's gone.

36:41Yeah. Okay. And she said that she misses him a lot. The crazy thing is I actually grew up in Australia as it has always been my absolute dream to go back there. On that very first date, we did sat speaking about it, laughing and making jokes about how when he finishes his three-year visa, he's going to need a way to stay permanently. Oh, yeah. Green card. Oh, okay. Yeah. Since he left, we've spoken every single day. I've also seen his nan once a week. We go out shopping and grab coffee together weekly, which is just the sweetest thing. How did that come about? That's lovely. Well, it's like, I'll pop in on your nan when you're not here.

37:16You know, maybe he like takes care of his nan. It's like, oh, I'll pop in and see her. When we were in the UK, we were inseparable and spent his last 88 days together. We always tried to make sure Helen didn't feel left out whenever we did anything. She was always invited. And I would constantly make extra dinner to feed her as well. That's really nice. I'm sure you pay for the groceries, isn't it? Yeah. it's my soup it's my soup oh blueberry it's okay

37:45resume resume resume so I'm cooking for hire yeah but we had those beautiful 80 days of passion and love and sex and goodbyes and goodbyes and tears and Helen was obviously present Helen was obviously there for it all not for the sexual part so despite making Helen feel included Helen really struggled she constantly made passive aggressive comments about Brian saying she couldn't wait for him to leave and that she was bored of seeing him tell me how you really feel but also like Brian but also like he's going anyway so just like suck it up for the 88 days like it's just 88 days what's that that's just quite a long time how many months is that wait 88 days there's 30 days in each month it's more fucking times table 30, 60 3 months just under 3 months great it's not that long let us have these 88 days Helen mate Brian never reacted but he gently warned me to watch myself because he felt like she wasn't being a true friend okay interesting fast forward to the week Brian left Helen took 400 pounds out of our joint bills account to pay off her Kalana bill she's very bold the disrespect that you know how the audacity yeah that's very bold and the audacity there is what do you mean you're Klarna Bill like I am the you've got a like you need to pay me back for that deposit I paid for first and that first month's rent what are you shopping what are you buying you shouldn't be Klarna Shmana like that's the last thing on your fucking mind I am the least confrontational person that makes sense how she's been buying all the clothes she's just been Klarna in it yeah and then she's thought oh shit I got 400 quid yeah I'm the least confrontational person ever but I finally had to speak up yeah good I'm proud of you 400 pounds is a lot of money.

39:37That's crazy. I told her I couldn't afford to live like this if I was expected to cover her share of the living costs on top of my own. Her reaction completely shocked me. Instead of apologizing, she told me she'd already been secretly looking at solo flats for the past two months. Okay, get the fuck out of here then. And that she didn't want to be friends anymore. Okay, get the fuck out of here then. It's just because you've pulled her up on her bullshit. Finally. You know? So sorry, now I find out you hate me but you're still spending my money the cheek of that is crazy she's trying to uno reverse yeah i go well wait i'm actually no no no i've got a problem with you yeah she's like actually no no i'm the one leaving yeah because you fucking pulled her out on her bullshit and she's literally trying to uno reverse you so she can go to everyone i'm moving out yeah i'm i've decided to go yeah i've decided you know instead of instead of the narrative of you being like well no she was fucking taking money at the joint account and like i was paying for everything like she's obviously trying to switch the narrative there she wanted to hand our notice in the very next day fine she put the entire blame on brian saying that if i hadn't met him i never would have raised the issue to be fair she's probably but maybe okay maybe he's giving me a fucking voice right and he's empowered me giving me some confidence to fucking say something against you and just some external validation of like i'm witnessing this with open light i can see this Yeah, but what she's doing, she knows she's in the wrong.

41:04She does know deep down, but she's using, okay, right. I'm going to spin it. That it's Brian's fault. Yeah. And then it's all about a boy. The boy broke us apart and she's going to spin it that way. Cause that's her kind of easy narrative and like that. Yeah. To be fair, she's probably right because meeting him gave me the confidence to finally stand up for myself. Great. And the moment you did stand up for yourself, she didn't like it. She didn't like it. She said, I'm getting the fuck out of here. No. That's interesting. Since that conversation, the atmosphere has been awful. She has openly told me she won't be paying for her half of the final council tax, electricity or water bills because she can't afford it.

41:41She also stated she won't be helping to clean the flat. She's already in debt to us. I know. She's already never paid a deposit. Like you were paying me£50 a month back for that two grand deposit. She also stated she won't be helping to clean the flat at the end of the tenancy or contribute to the landlord's cleaning fee. we have five weeks left on the lease but it becomes it's become so toxic I've already moved out all my personal belongings and gone back to my parents house I'm glad you've got somewhere else to go me too but she sounds like a housemate from hell I just got chills here's where I need your advice thanks to growing up there I have Australian citizenship and I've officially booked a one way flight to Australia oh yeah get the fuck out of here just go my plan is to save up at home for a few months and then make the move that's really great I have two questions November December we've got three months of saving which is great perfect yeah no rent to pay for three months on but we do have the additional cost of helen we are in debt helen does that was a lot more than we still we can still save three months number one the friendship how do you navigate a 10-year friendship ending so abruptly over money and lifestyle choices i think look i respectfully i also think you're going to australia outside our mind you know what i mean you're kind of like new environment not going to be reminded of like oh this is where me and helen used to you know well that's clearly had no respect for you your like your finances together like your live like she treated you so poorly you wouldn't even treat someone you didn't like she stole money from you basically you wouldn't even treat someone you hated like that you wouldn't even treat someone like say you were moving with a stranger yes like you would never do that you would like who the fuck is doing that like it's mental like it's disgusting like the 400 pounds out for Klarna is that's the cherry on top isn't it the exit plan is it wrong if i do an irish goodbye and leave for australia without telling our wider mutual friend group i think so evil eye keep it close yeah i haven't left the uk yet i'm currently at home saving but if i do tell the group my plans now i know it will get back to helen yeah if they're gonna spread and if you don't fully trust them don't tell them like said the evil eye yeah she will definitely paint a narrative that i'm just desperately chasing a boy across the world the world rather than doing this for myself yeah listen for some reason and she'll spin it and say oh well we're not living together because she was obsessed with that brian yeah she was just like she's even followed him to australia yeah yeah sounds unfortunately like helen hates you um she's so fucked for that she but it's also really sad because it just shows that money sad and can destroy friendships and relationships and well when you treat money like that well yeah i guess that she was just a bad bad she was a really bad egg i think look you probably look back and think i never should have done that yada yada yada moved in with blah blah but i think actually let's take the silver lining you guys probably still would have coasted on and kept being friends and maybe she was doing shit behind your back taking things from me when you didn't know like this really was that overexposure to her that you probably needed to be like wow who the fuck are you i've seen a whole new character inside of you like who the fuck is this i want no interest and you never would have learned that if you didn't live together so it did happen for a reason at least you've got out of there thank god you've got your parents house to go back to definitely australia february here we come onwards and upwards that just sounds like a really unfortunate bad egg to have and at least got into livings with and sometimes you've got to live with friends and realize oh god you know but you'll always be able to look back and be like oh, well, there was that one year I lived with that friend and she stole from me.

45:13And it's just a part of like learning. And now you'll never cover someone's fucking bills. Like next time you've been with someone and they're like, oh, I'll pay you back. You will say no. And at least you've learned that. So. What? What a fucking palama that is. But it's sad because it's like, Sarah. Oh, look, here they are. I know. Like, come on. Like, why are you just taking the piss out of me? Like. Sounds like she secretly hates you. Well, not so secretly. Okay, quick, quick, quick, quick fire. Do I meet up with my ex for the closure chat? We've got no other contacts. That's killing me. Do we meet up for the closure chat?

45:57Can you sleep at night or do you have things that are on your chest? Are you like reeling, seething, frothing at the mouth? If you are, fine. Make sure you look good. Will you be tempted to like snog him and go and have sex with him? If so, maybe let's hold back. Yeah. Like, what is it? If he's cheated on you, no. Do you know what I mean? If he's done you wrong, no. I'm gone. No, you do not get, no. Do you know what? No. You do not have access to me after we've broken up. Goodbye. That's what it should be. Yeah, I agree. Because then we're leaving it open. We're just, then we're leaving it open to be like, oh, another chat.

46:33Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You know? I agree.

46:43oh right who's on linkedin linkedin is a place isn't it yeah it's a big place that we don't we're on there as in like yeah we're on there on there absolutely grace has probably made a post about us seen us on there um i have no idea what it is i made an account one time just because i think i was trying to look for something so i might have an account well you should show us but I've not logged on I see but maybe people are finding my profile pic no I didn't add a profile pic but I've seen LinkedIn posts anyway we've got a LinkedIn issue we know that it's a place I see LinkedIn as a as a professional social media it is but I bet some relationships have been formed through LinkedIn because you can connect you can connect on LinkedIn so let's say we went into a shoe shop yeah okay and i saw a fit guy in there right oh i see where you're going with this i think in theory i could go on to linkedin is this why you downloaded it maybe i think i could go on to linkedin and type in the name of the shop location genius and find the employees or maybe not maybe more of an office thing yeah but or if it was a company yeah yeah you know you can find people and then you can connect with them on LinkedIn.

48:03It's pretty good actually. And then you can go follow them Instagram. You can get your little in. Wow. But we have a LinkedIn thing. Maybe we should get a LinkedIn joint. Yeah. Are you going to, you can keep the posts up or something. Yeah. I found out he betrayed me through LinkedIn. So I bet it was a case of like, maybe let me just link something up. He was linking in with someone else. He went on a work conference and he never posted about, on LinkedIn about the incredible work conference it went on. So I was like, well, why haven't you done a LinkedIn post about that trip? Yes, that was a huge career highlight of yours.

48:36Why wouldn't you share it on LinkedIn? Why didn't you? Yeah, why wouldn't you? And why are you now following a new person on LinkedIn who's got nothing to do with your business? That's it, yeah, because they can connect on LinkedIn. Can you chat on LinkedIn? I think you can. There must be chat rooms. Yeah, cheating left, right and center on LinkedIn, I'll tell you. Girls help. Is my dream boyfriend actually a massive red flag after I found out he betrayed me through LinkedIn? god there's so i thought reddit was revolutionary but linkedin this is a place for professionals what's going on here if you are cheating through linkedin that's a whole other low yeah whole other low but it just shows how you can be kind of that ultimate disguise of this is my linkedin this is my work it's the work it's the work it's the ultimate like i'm yeah obviously not yeah this This is my LinkedIn.

49:26But it just shows how you can be with someone for over 20 years, a la Ethan Klein, and then you meet a co-worker. Who's that? H3P. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Sorry. 20 years. No, that's fucking crazy. You meet a new co-worker, you cheat on your wife for 20 years with a new co-worker. And of course, LinkedIn is a fucking hob of that. I bet the amount of sexual diseases being passed around LinkedIn is insane. Fuck. Do you not think all those men with the dirty willies and the mountains of cocaine the cocaine parties absolutely on the LinkedIn parties anyway we're getting ahead of ourselves let's lock back in I never thought about LinkedIn in such a way neither have I low key but obviously it makes so much sense it actually makes so much sense because it's like the perfect disguise it's like hiding in plain sight it's their perfect excuse where did you guys meet LinkedIn and also it's their perfect like oh she's just a colleague she works in that field I had to connect with her exactly it's the perfect like and like you can't really argue it in the moment because oh yeah It's work.

50:24I guess she is like working in the field. Yeah. You know, she's also researching, you know, microbiome. Right. If you're not on the Big Bang Theory. Yeah. We're in the lab. After half. Lab. That's it. Right. So what did you find on LinkedIn? Let's get to it. So he's betrayed me on LinkedIn. He's my dream boyfriend. Hey girls, new listener here. Just want to say love the pod. Love the pod so much. It's getting me through my new job and I keep having to pause it to stop myself laughing out loud in my silent office. Oh, watch out, girl. Watch out. Strap in. This is a long one. I need your advice because I feel like I'm living in a sick rom-com.

51:03Rom-com. I started talking to my now Brian in October. Happy one year just gone then. Oh. Oh. Just now, sorry. Last month, babes, I think. Honeymoon. So this is fresh. So maybe we're not 100 % official. Maybe we're exclusive and he's fresh. Martinising with other LinkedIn people, you know, at the conference. Okay, yeah. We're in very, we're breaking new ground. Yes. Like, we've not fired in front of each other yet. Yes. We're still in that sexy era, you know. He's got his suit on, la la la. So, I started talking to my now Brian in October, fresh out of a four-year relationship, where my ex cheated on me in Ibiza with three girls.

51:50Fucking hell, what a pig. naturally i have major trust issues okay so you got out of that situation you met him so let's say that might have happened in august in the summer the height of the summer i beat the summer and then you've met him in october kind of nice stick your toes in enter my current brian i think he's our boyfriend genuinely an angel he plans dates buys me surprises treats me like a princess and is so good at communicating and reassuring me i was genuinely considered considering him for star of the week another star of the week who's fallen fuck you know we can't be giving these out too willy nilly yeah I'm kind of concerned I think ladies are we giving these men too much of an ego booze if we've given one of your boyfriends a star of the week and he has since not earned those that title please write in and we need to name and shame and let them know we will absolutely revoke Matthew, Mark, Luke and John whoever it is has been stripped of their title we'll call them out we'll remind them of their story and we will say that he is no longer the star of the week.

52:50Because I'm fearful these men are getting star of the week. Egos are getting too big. Then they're becoming complacent. Yeah. And then they're not doing anything. I think that's part of the problem. Yeah. This is what happens when you reward men. Give them an inch. Yeah, absolutely. So, current Brian, he's an angel. We love him. I was considering him for star of the week. Our first meeting lasted seven hours. Non-stop talking. We didn't realize it was 4 a.m. We were sober, by the way. And after our first proper dinner date at the start of December, but I was completely sold. This was last year then.

53:20Oh, it was last year. We have been together for a year. Congrats. I was completely sold and wasn't letting my trust issues get in the way of hubby material. Around Christmas, I noticed a girl on his phone. Here we go. Susan. He reassured me they'd only ever kissed two years ago and it was nothing. What do you mean? So why is she on your phone? Where was she on it? On Instagram maybe? Right. was it a photo in the camera roll was it a message pop up like what do you mean on it I'm not sure that's all we've seen so he said oh just kiss her two years ago like don't worry about that la la la and it was nothing someone who just kept reappearing fishy what do you mean she's reappearing is she a magician or what like you've either unfollowed her or you've not yeah you're either in contact with her or you're not like what how is she reappearing oh god I'm scared I also had two other boys I was texting so I understood and we agreed to stop talking to other people so that was at the very start this was a year in this was last Christmas she saw the girl's phone but she was like I'm still chatting to guys like okay oh okay fair enough but then since then decided to not talk to these people and then became boyfriend girlfriend I'm fine with that so we both agreed to stop talking to other people but over new years she was constantly calling him even when we were on FaceTime it would pause and I knew exactly who it was that means he's answering and they're chatting yeah because she's not cold calling for no reason no she's calling because she's getting an answer yeah like 100 % if you keep seeing the call she's calling because she's getting an answer she's getting something from him like he's giving us something yeah I've seen on his phone that he did cut contact and we became official in May Okay, so this was kind of in the gray area of like whatever, but now we're official in May.

55:18I wanted to take things slowly after my ex. Nice. Fast forward to now. So May, June, July, August, September, October, November. We're six months in of our serious relationship. Yeah. Of our new boundaries. Yeah. And our fresh slate. Yep. Fast forward to now. I've just graduated with my law degree. Wow. And handed my first job. So you're an intelligent lady. Congratulations, Sarah. What a way to sign off the year. naturally I had a little LinkedIn stalk to see who worked there at her new job that's handy isn't it yeah that's what you do fuck that's good you can do a full background check on everyone wow girls guess who popped up Susan works at my new job same exact job role and team oh fucking hell do you want to be me or what get out of my life shit you've got the same job as Susan but look but you're shocked but you're probably thinking look it's not a problem yeah actually it's not a problem they kissed two years ago whatever he's not going to be hanging out with her like I don't have a problem with her like I just wanted to make sure that my boyfriend wasn't you guys would probably get on to be fair yeah you're both fucking lawyers like both very intelligent women like you probably have a lot in common yeah probably why you both like you like you both same guy yeah bear in mind we both live 40 minutes away from this workplace and he lives over an hour away from it so what are the chances like yeah that's kind of crazy actually it's a real I'd always had a gut feeling especially after his cousin drunkenly told me she was so happy he'd chosen me over Susan well that tells us everything we need to know that tells us that he was dating you in tandem from October up until May and he was in a predicament on who to choose right?

57:03yeah that's 100 % what it was and he definitely went back and forth on that decision yeah and that if his cousin As someone who needs to be chosen, like you want it to be like, oh, it's always been, it was never anyone else. Like, of course it was you. If his cousin is aware that there was a battle of the females, if you will, and there was who's going to win, who am I liking more today, who's going to blah, blah, blah. Do not put me in that race. Do you know what I mean? Like that says a lot actually. So obviously he was letting everyone know, oh, is it Susan or is it Sarah? Is it Susan or Sarah?

57:35Oh, I don't know. Well, pros over here, cons, you know, pros, cons. It's like he's weighing you up. Yeah. He's weighing you up. And the fact that it wasn't just like, of course it's you, Sarah. You were in a race that you had no idea about. Yeah. Meanwhile, Susan, yeah, she's calling her man every fucking day. Of course. Because like, that's her guy. Yeah. They're having sex. And you're thinking, that's my guy too. No. But the bad thing is, is that he agreed not to see anyone in that period. We said before Christmas. Well, we became official in May. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So in his mind, he's thinking, we're not official.

58:06I can still fraternize with Helen. Is it Helen? Susan. Susan. Yeah. Because like, oh, but she doesn't want to make it official. That's how he's justified it in his fucking little head. Yeah. Shit. Wow. The cousin. So the cousin let that rip. So you've always kind of had this gut feeling that, oh, something definitely went on, but I kind of don't want to know. So taking this as the universe biggest warning sign, I asked him one final time. Before I started this job, if there was anything I didn't know in case she was sitting next to me. Well, because it's like, I'm going to, we're going to get close and I'm going to find out.

58:38I bet he could not believe that. I bet he was like You know what Yeah Of course not I bet he started to shit himself So I think he's then let her know He slept with her I could have told you that But yeah But it gets worse He'd spent the day before So he's actually coming clean In this moment Because he knows that you're going to find out anyway He's probably just thought Oh yeah time's up He'd spent the day before with me And four days later He introduced me to his family And slept with me for the first time Yes girls four days later. Fuck. So he spent the day with me and four days later he introduced me to his family and slept with me for the first time and the restaurant he took her to, the exact restaurant where he later asked me to be his girlfriend.

59:23I even know which table they sat at because the picture is still on her Instagram highlights. Our table was facing ours. Theirs. Wow. So he's just doing the same thing with you, same thing with her. Wow. What a way to make me feel special. yeah wow so thoughtful of you isn't it you've really considered me in that in that decision i genuinely feel sick thinking about it what should have been one of the happiest memories now feels completely ruined because all i can think of was he thinking about her the entire time i don't even want to call it an anniversary yeah yeah it's the biggest fucking rain cloud ever rain cloud is the word on that initial me honeymoon dating early beautiful idea of you asking me to be a girlfriend and offer you for a restaurant when I was in bed like so excited to be texting you you were probably texting me whilst you were on the phone to Susan and you were sleeping with Susan yeah and also like when you were with me you were making sure you were on do not disturb you were making sure that chat was muted so that no Susan was popping up but he wasn't even because her fucking calls were popping up anyway so he didn't even owe you that basic respect no to actually keep her hidden he didn't even keep her hidden he just did it out of the air oh it's just someone I slept with two years ago like yeah that's really heartbreaking um i couldn't get past shit like this i just can't get and move on from this now well yeah he you've lied the entirety of the that first five months yeah so what's to say you're not gonna lie about me about something you know something else changes the way that you see everything what hurts most is that is that i've i'd specifically asked whether they'd slept together before and he lied yeah well he's a fucking idiot i feel like he took away my choice to decide whether to continue seeing him.

1:01:06Too right. He did exactly that. I asked you at the time. That's bang on, that is, Sarah. Well, we've said that before. It's like, they know. Yeah. In those first couple of months, you're asking them these questions, trying to be like, what? They know. If you found out the truth now, you would say, I'm not seeing you anymore. I respect myself too much. Ew, don't want to see you anymore. They know that they have to lie in order to continue to see you. And then it always comes out a couple of years later. Look what's happened. One year later, the truth has finally come out. Yeah. And now I'm deeper in than I was.

1:01:34I don't really want to leave now, but I feel like I've got to. Yeah. But it's definitely not as easy to, as it would have been a year ago. But like, he made that decision to not tell you the truth when I explicitly asked you what happened with Susan. And that is deceit. Yeah, absolutely. And it's like, you've lied to me once. Easily. You will fucking do it again. Like, at any chance. Because you think, and now I have to work with her. Thankfully, we're on different floors, but her name is already appearing on cases I'm working on, and I'm dreading work socials. Yeah. It's like, she's there. The problem is, is our relationship is genuinely amazing.

1:02:10I absolutely adore this man. He's everything I've ever wanted. And technically we weren't official when it happened. See, that's how he's - Don't let him out on a technicality. But that's how he justified it to himself. And that's kind of what he's going to argue. Well, we weren't official, la la la. No, no, no. But you told me we weren't speaking to anyone else. You painted a very false picture of yourself and your situation and that is that yeah technicalities or not you lied to me when I thought we were pretty much committed yeah and yes you hadn't popped the question yet but we were in a committed I thought we were on the same page we're reading very fucking different books if you're still having sex with another girl and dating another girl at the end of the day you had two girls who thought they were in line to be your next girlfriend Susan probably had the shock of her life poor girl when you broke up with her she probably thought what the fuck i thought we would go in towards like being in a relationship yeah she was definitely in the same boat she probably saw you your name susan popper yeah who's that you know when like he and the fact that he fucking did that it's like psychotic it's like it's it's really scary that nah that he can probably like laughing about it because his cousin's like so glad he chose you yeah like Probably laughing about it to his mates.

1:03:28Yeah. Oh, they're both calling me. Yeah. It's been the talk of the town. Oh, I don't know which one to go for. Like, yeah. I would usually never forgive dishonesty in a man as I promised myself after my last relationship that I'd never ignore red flags again. You've just answered your own question. It's difficult. You love him. You have a seemingly great relationship, but he has shown his true colors. He's lied to you. This is a red flag. you promise yourself you would never ignore a red flag again fundamental trust has been broken exactly because this is something yeah look i can look we could sweep under the rug now right and we could have a nice christmas we can maybe go on a nice trip in jan you know get some winter sun yeah and we could probably yeah coast through for another year but then i believe it will still be niggling at the back of your mind and then i believe something else will come yeah come forward the closer we get to Susan the more we learn about her you know in the workplace more things coming out like do we even believe that he's told the full picture?

1:04:29Probably not. How do we even trust that? I'd like to hear Susan's story for sure. Me too. And I'm scared that there is more to it and it was just shagging you both at the same time and like because yeah and you said I would never I promised myself I would never ignore red flags again. This is You've got to keep that promise. You've got to keep that you've got to put yourself first and respect yourself and it's what it's really hard to do when you love someone so much and you do just want to forgive them and have that nice christmas that we want and brush it under because like we all want a nice christmas like i want a cozy nice happy christmas yeah but you've got to think of your future self that's what it is it's like yeah look right now i can you know brush it under and have a nice time for the next six months but you need to think of yourself in three years time who's still with this guy who's then proven to again you know you know that you don't want this for yourself you know it yeah it's just you don't you don't want to have to deal with it you don't want to have to deal with the technicalities oh i've got to break up with him i've got when he can wiggle his way out of it on a oh well we technically yeah yeah he could yeah i could believe it yeah technically yeah if i want to sway that way i can believe that but do i want to you know deep down that this is a liar this she has a red flag and it's just you don't want your husband lying to you like this like no like this isn't the father of your children you know and you've got to think of yourself in three years time picture yourself in three years time when you're still with this guy and something you learn something else or he or he cheats on you you find out about it because i feel like if he's gonna get away with this now it sets a precedent i will say he's gonna think oh especially for this kind of guy not to generalize him so much but for you to be like okay it does give him some sort of like oh well yeah in the back of his mind okay well she's forgiven that yeah and okay so i guess i could maybe do something else and she probably would forgive me too and that's how his brain's going to start working because you've rewarded this bad behavior with i'll stay with you yeah it's okay it's all right oh yeah i understand that's how you've rewarded technically it wasn't a cheat yeah you know so what's to say when he you know goes away to wherever with his boys that he's not going to do something because even if you found out you probably he knows he could talk his way out yeah yeah he'll say i was drunk peer pressure it was just a strip club oh it was just mountains of cocaine she came on to me absolutely there was mountains i was off my face on drugs like he's gonna try and wiggle his way out like he's like yeah because he's wiggling right now.

1:07:06So picture yourself in three years time even more deep with this guy. It's not even been a year yet because you technically got together in May. You could get out here now. You could get out there now pretty scotch free. Thinking okay kind of dodge that bullet. Yep. Save money on Christmas presents. Could have been worse. Yeah. You know because in three years time that breakup's going to be even worse. Just girls what do I do? Am I ruining something beautiful over something from the talking stage or am I ignoring massive red flags by forgiving the lies? I think we've answered it I think we've answered it talking stage smorking stage official, unofficial, blah blah blah point being you lied to me here's Sarah and here's you you weren't moving like that you weren't sleeping with people it's ruined now, he's ruined it I think you made yourself that promise you've got to stick to that and you'll be better off for it I know it's hard and I know you don't want to do it because it's admin and it's boring and it's heartbreak and it's like oh my god yeah i know you don't want to do it you've got to do it you've got to think of your future self like you have to i mean beautiful sarah god is that sarah no fucking hell this i think is susan this is sarah oh you look gorge wait is this yeah this is our sarah i mean both stunning ladies wait no the top girls sarah oh my god that's That's the selfie.

1:08:31That's the couple selfie. That's the couple. This is the couple. This is our Sarah. Yes. I think she's labelled herself well. Yeah, you've labelled it wrong. Yeah, yeah, yeah. This is Susan. Yeah. He likes a brunette, I will say. He does, yeah. Sarah. I mean, you look absolutely gorgeous. Both beautiful are lovely. I mean, I'm really happy that you're both lawyers. I know. It's incredible. You can plead guilty. You can plead our case. If we ever need a lawyer, we'll let you know. Star of the week. Star of the week. Even though we've just shit-talked on our Star of the Weeks. But we're just here to let you know, Brian, it can be revoked at any moment.

1:09:04Yeah, don't get too comfortable. Yeah, seriously. Don't let this be a complacency tag, I'll tell you. What are you looking to be as fingers? Hi, girls and blueberry. I would like to say one of my besties introduced me to the pod years ago when we were on holiday in Mallorca. Oh, shout out, Mallorcs. I'd like to nominate my Brian Cameron for Star of the Week. We're both from the UK but live in Australia. and when we first met I was working in a hostel in Sydney and Cameron was a geologist in the outback of Western Australia. We met whilst he was visiting his friends traveling the East Coast. Every other week for a year and a half he would drive six and a half hours from where he worked in the mines to Perth and then flew four and a half hours from Perth to Sydney to see me in Bondi.

1:09:50Ladies if he wanted to he would. Oh absolutely. He always makes me feel special, believes in me and truly is my best friend. I don't know what I'd do here without him as it can be quite lonely being on the other side of the world from your friends and family. Yes, it can. And a couple of months ago, he got a job in Sydney. So we've just moved together to Bondi. Beautiful. Love the pod. Brightens up my commute to work. Lots of love. Eve. Eve! Cameron and Eve. We're Adam and Eve! Shout out! Wow, beautiful. Shout out! Wow, a six hour drive then a four hour flight? If he wanted to, he would. The Patreon girls this week need to hear that because we had a lot of complacent men on Patreon.

1:10:26We did. And what was our word of the week? Initiative. Initiative. He has initiative. And that's important. Men who are not taking initiative. Worst kind of man. Worst kind of man. Wow. Okay. Lovely episode today. Thank you for joining us at home this week, guys. We love you so much. Cheers to you. We'll see you in the studio on Monday and next Wednesday. We love you. We'll see you this week and next. Peace out, dealers.

1:11:15We'll be right back. Lowe's. Valid through 12-2 while supplies last. Selection varies by location. See associate or lowes.com for details.