X-RATED: He’s obsessed with our sex tape?!

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1:10Cynthia O'Neill: So what are you going to do? I think you just got to say. Like, what the fuck am I finding in the fucking toilet, Brian? Yeah. What is this? Ew.

1:17Sophia Tzortziou: Send him a picture of it.

1:18Cynthia O'Neill: Yes. Or do it in person so we can catch him there. Because over text, he's going to formulate, you know.

1:25Sophia Tzortziou: And maybe just say it with confidence. Like, I know what this is. Not like, hmm, what do you think this is?

1:30Cynthia O'Neill: Yeah, I think this is your scene in the toilet. Is it not?

1:40Sophia Tzortziou: No way. Let's get sexual, you guys. Yes. X, X, X, X rated up in here. X, X, X, X rated up in here

1:51Cynthia O'Neill: Bumholes, willies, tits

1:53Sophia Tzortziou: I was enjoying that song X, X, X rated up in here That was good, that took me by surprise

2:00Cynthia O'Neill: Well we need to be auditioning for the new X Factor We need Simon to snatch us up

2:04Sophia Tzortziou: This is our official audition, what would your song be?

2:07Cynthia O'Neill: Oh, my audition I'm only gonna let you kill me once I'm only gonna let you kill me once What? What? You're really good.

2:20Sophia Tzortziou: That was Diana Vickers, wasn't it? Yeah, Diana Vickers, never forget. What a tune. She was so cool as well when we were like, you know, that age, easily influenced. It was like, wow. I wanted to sing in person. She would perform in bare feet. Yeah, it's still grounded. Oh, she's so grounded. Yeah. That is so cool. Contemporary.

2:36Cynthia O'Neill: No, she wouldn't dance or... I bet you she snogged. I think a bit of a role on the floor. Was she One Direction? Yeah. Maybe. She must have snogged one of the boys.

2:44Sophia Tzortziou: Yeah, maybe Niall. two blondies going at it. I don't think now would have been her flow. I think maybe. Really? Yeah, I do.

2:53Cynthia O'Neill: I thought Zayn. I can't see that myself. I'm gonna latch. Oh, I wonder where, I hope she's still in her music bag, you know? Yeah, me too. Well, you know who's got a new - Writing, producing.

3:03Sophia Tzortziou: Pixie Lots really popping off at the moment. I know, she's on the West End, no? Yeah, it's on the West End. We drove by it on the way here. Did you? We? I didn't see that.

3:12Cynthia O'Neill: I saw it and I just internalized the thought. Okay, she didn't think to share it with the - I was having some silent time and I was like, oh, I'll show you on the way back.

3:20Sophia Tzortziou: Okay, nice.

3:21Cynthia O'Neill: Yeah. Well, yeah. Shout out Dan. Who else is a veteran? Wagner. Shout out. I mean, Leona, of course. Leona. I mean, yes.

3:30Sophia Tzortziou: Alexandra Burke, elephant in the room. I mean, yeah. I don't know if you know, actually. There's actually this phrase. It wasn't really a saying in the UK.

3:38Cynthia O'Neill: It actually means if you didn't know. Well, I actually thought one day I thought, we don't really say this in England. I wanted to be the first. I wanted to be the pioneer to bring it over. It's actually the saying of an elephant in the room.

3:49Sophia Tzortziou: Do you remember when we did a dance to that? Oh my God, there's an elephant in the room.

3:54Cynthia O'Neill: But it wasn't our teacher, Sarah.

3:57Sophia Tzortziou: It was that other guy that we had, while Sarah was on maternity leave having a baby. Oh my God, he was amazing. And it was like, whoa, he was so cool. It was very advanced. Very advanced. A bit more like grungy and a bit more cool than our - A bit sexier. Yeah, a bit more grown up.

4:10Cynthia O'Neill: Yeah, really had to move the hips. Yeah, yeah. Which we were very good at, of course. Of course, I've always had the gift of that. So yeah, I remember. But yeah, but he didn't realize we were top of class though.

4:21Sophia Tzortziou: And then we had our knees together and it was like, we had to do that and go like down. And then we had to go up. So it was a lot of floor work. Well, yeah, it was new moves, you know, like new warmups, new vibe, new vibe. But easy for us, of course, of the advance of the class. But yeah, we had to let him know, like we are front and center of this class. I don't know if you know.

4:37Cynthia O'Neill: I wonder if Sarah, because her name was actually Sarah. Yeah, it was actually Sarah. I wonder if she like prefaced him, like just to let you know, top of the class, Chintzy Sophia. yeah i don't know if you've heard of them yeah yeah yeah the two gorgeous girls obviously they pick up choreo like that you know you show them it and they've got it they've got it you know you show them it backwards they've got it yeah yeah i do remember him star quality stage presence he was sarah's friend no it was like it's my friend was it a friend i don't know i could be

5:03Sophia Tzortziou: making that up but we do need because the tea is we would always get moved up to the older girls

5:07Cynthia O'Neill: class like before our peers yeah well the tea was is that and they'd be like well oh our class is

5:12Sophia Tzortziou: now at four o 'clock because we're in the older ones yeah so i've actually got a late night tonight yeah but it's time nine you see with the older girls i'm just with the older girls i've got to hang on because i've got to take my later class tonight so i'm only 12 you see you guys are

5:23Cynthia O'Neill: 16 yeah yeah you see that's probably why we were at the front because we were smaller than everyone no we would we were talented sophia we had it yeah we had something um but we do need to find the tapes i've got the tape right well roll the fucking tape yeah i've got them over to dvd the tape okay we'll get them over onto a hard drive come on okay it's your job i ain't got the tapes yeah angie's got the tapes but we can't i don't know even remember that one time they'll be in that cupboard under the tv but one time but remember we tried to find them years ago and we couldn't find them you need to find the tapes come on i don't need to find that where they are

5:56Sophia Tzortziou: get them i think i saw them the other day they're in my room at my mom's house get them because we

6:01Cynthia O'Neill: need to roll the tapes of us front and center mama mia abba medley front and center guys in our capsuits you've never seen anything like it guys it was so cool it was everyone thought

6:12Sophia Tzortziou: the dance was over everyone thought the dance was over right electric so then it was like dance dance dance dance dance dance everyone leaves sarah a fucking visionary vision how did she think of this i have no idea a choreo visionary everyone left the stage music died down lights went down audience applaud and then it was the beats the beats started to go who goes on stage me

6:39Cynthia O'Neill: of course who else leading the pack leading the packs of older girls may we say yeah i came on

6:45Sophia Tzortziou: from the right since he came on from the left and it was like electric like it no it was electric like i remember our dance move it was these side things with our knees up it was powerful yeah and it was man after midnight powerful yeah just storming everyone wanted that bit and it was

7:00Cynthia O'Neill: like well we're in the older class yeah it was just naturally sarah's like so sophia you're on the land and we're gonna have you coming in so everyone else just take a seat it's not everyone else just sit down this is not really doesn't really concern you we just got these two these guys it's a bit more technical you see yeah and i remember being like mom wait for this bit it's

7:17Sophia Tzortziou: the best thing it's best dance of the whole show it was the best dance find the tapes it woke

7:22Cynthia O'Neill: everyone in that audience up yeah it was like whoa star power and we were in it was like in high When those fucking critics were in the audience, they're like, who is that? And they were like, yeah. They said, Rambear, where the fuck? Yeah, although we never got the call. We had now. They've called us up now. They want us to come. Oh my God. Yeah, full circle. They want us to come and watch a class and judge. We should tell Dawn about that. Yeah, and tell everyone, no, you're not doing it right. Sorry. Get me up there. You're sickling. That's a sickle.

7:50Sophia Tzortziou: I can't even touch my toes.

7:52Cynthia O'Neill: That's a sickle.

7:53Sophia Tzortziou: Oh, good times.

7:55Cynthia O'Neill: we've still got

7:56Sophia Tzortziou: I remember the choreography well for that that was great

7:59Cynthia O'Neill: yeah so roll the yeah Fiona's job over the weekend yeah okay I can get to work she can use to transfer it over to CD I don't think she knows how to do that

8:06Sophia Tzortziou: but next time I go back I'll grab the tapes and I'll bring them because it's like actually serious I need to watch this amazing like it's DVD well

8:14Cynthia O'Neill: is it yeah

8:15Sophia Tzortziou: there's some tapes because you know what else I've got on DVD what not that you had as much of a feature in this you know actually we don't need to talk about that But it was the year six play Robin Hood. Made Mariam. Made Mariam myself, Villager 3. I've got that as well. Yeah, yeah.

8:32Cynthia O'Neill: Oh, Connell, kiss me. And I've got all the Sophie Kinsella books. Honestly, mum's got it all. Okay, well, I think that needs to be our task before the end of the year. Get these tapes onto fucking iPhone. Right, okay. Okay, right.

8:44Sophia Tzortziou: Should we figure out what the question of the week is then? I would love that, yeah. I've got an orange juice.

8:49Cynthia O'Neill: I am drinkless, unfortunately. um drink your water you've not had enough today yeah I actually Fanny's gonna start stinging

9:00Cynthia O'Neill: I know that happens that doesn't happen that doesn't happen to me anymore what yes really I have excellent vaginal health yeah that was always your thing you would say it all the time

9:13Sophia Tzortziou: yeah I'm sure you've said it on a public platform absolutely I have yeah absolutely

9:17Cynthia O'Neill: Yeah. But I seem to have cured the issues. Keep it up. Keep up the good work. And do you know what also the tea is? Yeah, go on. We shouldn't be having electrolytes ever.

9:28Sophia Tzortziou: I've stopped having my electrolytes.

9:30Cynthia O'Neill: Yeah, because it's like we don't need them.

9:34Sophia Tzortziou: Right. I enjoy them. I enjoy them too. I'm off them at the moment, but I should get back on them.

9:39Cynthia O'Neill: No, you don't need to, Sophia. Apparently even, even, even. Even, even Stevens. Apparently even, even, even, even. even if we're doing a hot hot class yeah yeah you don't even need you don't even need electrolytes after that you're not sweating i do like that but you don't need it so much sodium you don't need it it's only if we're losing so much only if we're losing so much minerals it's like it's for athletes we don't need to be popping electrolytes every day especially when i've sat on my arse all don't you think i keep seeing all this like to you i just keep seeing tics i was all you lotto

10:13Sophia Tzortziou: having too many you don't need electrolytes oh i'm not on that side you see i'm not being um

10:19Cynthia O'Neill: right fed that information but can i just quickly say oh my god actually look at this yeah i've just opened my safari tabs obviously i've got oh my god i've got 499 tabs open look look at this tab

10:39Cynthia O'Neill: oh this item was deleted it said matt self-tape it was one of our boys audition topless he was right there look now it says i was deleted he was right there naked i know what do your phones freezing get them closed i don't even know how to get rid of these tabs i just add a new tab add a new tab right wait i have to tell you something that i'm gonna do tomorrow or tonight tomorrow yeah in the morning okay so you know how we had that conversation a

11:09Sophia Tzortziou: few weeks ago about ice cooling cool us cooling our face with ice yeah yeah and you said about how i need a big bowl of ice and i said that oh i don't have ice blah blah blah i've manifested into my life an ice tray which you need to get one of these by the way so now it's super easy for me my fridge makes ice oh i pull out this drawer it's full of ice like this that's and there's a scoop in there that's luxury so now what i can do easy peasy bowl water dunk yeah that's luxury right there it's so good in my stanley ice ice ice every cup ice ice and it's all because now it started off like there was just a bit of ice at the bottom but as the days have gone on it's a mountain of ice like that.

11:56Sophia Tzortziou: It's amazing. That's life right there. It is heaven. All my Coke zeros, ice, ice, ice. It's so good. I can't believe it. Wow, wow. Because you know what I bought?

12:06Cynthia O'Neill: An ice machine. Yes. I've not, I've not set up. Where's that going to live then? I don't know. It's heavy biscuit. But it's white. Okay. So I think it can just live on the counter. You're going to have to fill that up with water. Do you know what I mean? Yeah. Yeah, you've got to fill it in the back with water, I think. Got you. And then, I'm not sure, I've not, I've not geared her up yet. Got you. But I will. For sure. I look forward to it.

12:30Sophia Tzortziou: What's our question of the week?

12:31Cynthia O'Neill: Question of the week today is, what's the most random thing you've ever been given to wear after staying over? Oh, that's a good one. It is a good one. Let me think all sorts of shit.

12:47Sophia Tzortziou: The most random thing I've been given to wear. You know, it's when you've got your dressing gown on. It's a t-shirt and joggers, isn't it?

12:53Cynthia O'Neill: Yeah, but it's when you're wearing your dressing gown and you put your coat on the top and then you've got your little boots on. No, I think it means after like a one night stand. What have you been given? Oh, oh. I'm just thinking after a sleepover, it's like, oh, Monday, I'll keep my dressing gown. I'll put my coat on. My backpack. And you've got your trainers on. You don't put them on properly. You've got your jazz trainers on. Yeah, yeah. Came straight from working, you see. Came straight from dance. Yeah, you've got your tap shoes on. Sorry, yeah.

13:19Sophia Tzortziou: Got my character skirt on now. Yeah, hiya, mum. I think it means after you've slept with someone, this is X-rated, remember? Of course. We started X, X-rated, rated.

13:30Cynthia O'Neill: Okay, so we've got here XL Cole Buxton T-shirt. I actually bought a Cole Buxton jacket.

13:36Sophia Tzortziou: Isn't that David Beckham's brand or something?

13:38Cynthia O'Neill: No.

13:39Sophia Tzortziou: Oh, did you do an ad with Cole Buxton? I feel like I've seen him wear it. I think this is fake news.

13:45Cynthia O'Neill: I think this is definitely fake news. Maybe David's more, it doesn't mean he owns the brand. Surely it'd be David Beckham, not Cole Buxton. Who's Cole? I thought it was going just under an alias. Okay, well, we can fact check that. Cole Buxton t-shirt, Nike joggers, and I had to wear my heels back home. Oh, yeah, the heels. Give me some flip-flops. A towel. Oh. And you knew that towel was a bit stonky. When was his towel washed? His dad's boxers. Ew. Glow-in-the-dark joggers. What in the world? His sister's used underwear and his smelly gym top. something out the laundry basket just pick anything you want out the laundry basket just grab it in the laundry basket suit trousers and a minion top his running leggings that had room for his bulge at the front oh no I'm thinking of sweaty gym clothes making me sick another girl's thong oh my god a personalised t-shirt from his stepdad's stag do.

14:55Cynthia O'Neill: That's kind of funny. His sixth form leavers hoodie. That's romantic. A full football kid. Arsenal, that's what Arsenal's doing. Sheep shearing vest. He was a farmer. Aw, that's quite sexy. Very Jeremy Clarkson farm coded. His mum's nightie. She's going to want that back.

15:18Sophia Tzortziou: I swear to God, if I have sons and one day they're giving random girls my nice dressing gowns I'm going to be pissed off I know

15:25Cynthia O'Neill: I'm going to say where's that blue dressing gown gone I want that back I know Christmas boxes with another girl's face on them

15:33Sophia Tzortziou: oh that's a bit mental

15:34Cynthia O'Neill: Greg's sliders in a matching Greg's bucket hair oh yeah that was when Greg's did the Primark collab

15:40Sophia Tzortziou: didn't they do

15:41Cynthia O'Neill: the Primark collab

15:42Sophia Tzortziou: shout out to Greg's I'm a big fan me too apart from that one time when the chicken bait gave me food poisoning when I was about nine speak your truth tell them chicken bake gave me food poisoning when i was about nine that is my god greg's fix that was always what i would go for sausage roll before school i've never had a bake are you joking

16:03Cynthia O'Neill: i've never had a lived i want to try the beans and cheese the beans the beans and cheese yeah the beans and the beans the bean and cheese bake i've heard that exists is that right have i made it up it's phenomenal i'd like to try that what were you doing as a child i was getting a sausage roll oh okay yeah but that's what i would get yeah i see you know and then and then you know

16:24Sophia Tzortziou: because i'm here for sausage roll i had a greg's outside both my bus stops so it was always pretty you know pound for a sausage roll absolutely and then obviously i went vegan you see yeah and then we had the vegan sausage rolls yeah i would get a chicken bake yeah beans and cheese my brother always got a steak bake i was like oh i don't fancy that yeah but then a chicken gave me i think i

16:42Cynthia O'Neill: associated all the bakes with like yeah steak yeah and it's not really fancy steak but the beans and

16:46Sophia Tzortziou: Geez.

16:47Cynthia O'Neill: Yeah, I want to try that. I don't think I knew it existed.

16:49Sophia Tzortziou: Gosh, another one here. The boys can't be doing this. His mum's dressing gown. She's going to go to bed that night and think, why the hell is this dressing gown? But it's like, has he not got a t-shirt and a hoodie? Oh my God. A water slide poncho. See-through. Just naked underneath. Oh no. His Rick and Morty PJ bottoms with a hole in the crotch. McQueen jumper, which I then sold. Okay. A rugby kit. his size 14 work boots because my heels snapped oh my goodness a mickey mouse onesie nice his mum's bra which was a 36e i'm a 30c why do we need a bra i don't need a bra right now i need a hoodie

17:30Cynthia O'Neill: like why are you giving me a coat like i don't want your mother's bra bruise yes on my tit like That's weird. His Tesco work jacket.

17:38Sophia Tzortziou: Okay. His mum's beach sarong. His high school musical hoodie. Best dad ever t-shirt. He didn't tell me he had kids. Oh, God. His motorbike gear. With some leathers. Kneepads. Another girl's... I love some leathers for you. I mean, this is good, but like not good. Another girl's Skims hoodie, but quite nice for a free hoodie.

18:05Cynthia O'Neill: Quite nice, but not nice. Yeah.

18:07Sophia Tzortziou: Stilettos and a full Nike tech tracksuit.

18:11Cynthia O'Neill: I take the Nike tech, actually.

18:17Cynthia O'Neill: Just before we get into it, quick disclaimer. Just to say, we are not doctors. We are not professionals. We do not actually know what we are talking about. This is a lighthearted space. Okay. Don't take what we say literally because we could be wrong.

18:28Sophia Tzortziou: Yeah. And if there's anything serious, if there's anything you feel like you're seriously struggling with, please contact a GP, a professional, because that is not us. We're just girls, girls and boys just like you, you know? We're just trying to get

18:38Cynthia O'Neill: through life as well.

18:39Sophia Tzortziou: Not professionals. Enjoy the episode.

18:44Sophia Tzortziou: Ew, I've just read the title of the next dilemma. Right, it's time to lock in.

18:50Cynthia O'Neill: Right, remember, it's X-rated up in here, okay?

18:52Sophia Tzortziou: Yeah, otherwise, remember it's X-rated, otherwise this is going to be a jump scare. Oh, it's going to be good. Help, is he wanking into the toilet bowl? Ew!

19:03Cynthia O'Neill: Ew, why do men do this? Like, what do you mean?

19:06Sophia Tzortziou: Oh my God, listening to this girl said congrats on your Yochi opening. It's not our establishment. We've actually not got any shares in the business.

19:17Cynthia O'Neill: We've actually not been once. The glides are too long. It's too far away. I know.

19:23Sophia Tzortziou: Coming to you live and direct. Coming. Literally.

19:28Cynthia O'Neill: Wait, wait. So what is he doing? Every time he goes to the toilet, he's having a wank over the toilet.

19:34Sophia Tzortziou: I think he's wanking into the toilet bowl, yeah, thinking he's being secretive, but really you're finding some sticky residue on the seat. Brian and I have been together for over a year and have lived together for the majority of that. I'm 25 and Brian is 28. For context, Brian wakes up earlier than me for work around half five. His routine every day is the same. Alarm goes off, toilet, brushes his teeth, get dressed and off he goes. wanking in the toilet in the morning quick wanking the toilet recently when i wake up i've been noticing a strange fluid in the water of the toilet yeah that's definitely semen it's been flushed like there's no toilet paper there but it almost looks like something clear is just floating in the water yeah yeah yeah a bit like when you spit into the toilet yes sick and it kind of like

20:27Cynthia O'Neill: floats around when you put cereal down the toilet did you ever used to do that i've never put cereal down the toilet and you put your roast dinner down the toilet because cereal down the toilet i've never done yeah like when it was like oh you've not finished that cereal it's like where do you put it it's a bowl of cereal you flush it down the toilet wow that's not a normal thing i've never put a bowl of cereal let's say you you pulled yourself a big bowl of cereal yeah let's actually think about this yeah and you've ate a couple mouthfuls you're oh i don't fancy this what are you doing that's never happened to me before okay but hypothetically hypothetically how are you disposing of that bowl of cereal you can't put it in the bin well i'm gonna drain i'm gonna

21:04Sophia Tzortziou: drain the milk out and then i'm gonna put it in the bin right well i go straight to the toilet my mom will go and flush it down the toilet because it's yeah yeah now i think about it

21:14Cynthia O'Neill: it's actually very efficient yeah and then you're not having especially if i was eating the cereal

21:18Sophia Tzortziou: in my bedroom in the bathroom yeah i can understand that actually eating in the bathroom yeah okay Well, if I was in my bedroom going through, put a bowl down, you know. Oh, I see. Okay. Okay. Yeah.

21:29Cynthia O'Neill: I think it's quite efficient. Okay. Yeah. Especially if it's been sat for a bit and now it's just paced. Yes. It's quite toilet appropriate. Yeah. Okay. So semen in the toilet then.

21:41Sophia Tzortziou: So you're seeing a weird float fluid. It's not every day. However, it is enough for me to notice. An hour ago, Brian left for work. I've gone to the toilet and there it is again.

21:55Cynthia O'Neill: That's so fucking weird.

21:55Sophia Tzortziou: The difference is I was awake today when he was in the toilet. It's an en suite. And he went in for around 20 minutes.

22:02Cynthia O'Neill: Like is he showering? I'm assuming. She's not saying that he's showering. No, he just sounds like he's getting up and wanking and going.

22:10Sophia Tzortziou: Yeah. He's flushing the toilet several times. He takes his phone everywhere. I jokingly said to him, what on earth are you doing in there? To which he didn't answer. Could this be what I think it is? We have a very good sex life. we had sex less than eight hours ago and i've had many i really need to know that sarah these panties were dropped ladies let me tell you okay yeah my panties dropped seven hours ago and i've had many conversations about how i don't agree with porn or using other women for pleasure when you're in a relationship okay well that's just changed everything boundaries have been set and he knows that you don't right well that's just changed everything apart everything in this

22:50Cynthia O'Neill: dilemma then um if he's going into the toilet in the morning and watching porn what else could this

22:55Sophia Tzortziou: be do i say anything pics attached yes but none of the toilet you'd be pleased to know thank you i mean this is a lovely couple on it he looks super friendly zoom in on him

23:06Cynthia O'Neill: he does look super friendly yeah you look stunning sarah okay so that is interesting it's changed everything when you said yeah you've set those boundaries of i don't like porn I don't want you watching porn I don't want you pleasuring yourself over other sexual things and other women and it sounds like yeah and you can always it's like a sixth sense you know what on earth are you doing in there it's like yeah actually that's that's weird so what are you gonna do I think you just gotta say like what the fuck am I finding in the fucking toilet Brian yeah

23:42Sophia Tzortziou: what is this

23:42Cynthia O'Neill: ew

23:43Sophia Tzortziou: send him a picture of it

23:45Cynthia O'Neill: yes like I or do it in person so we can yeah like catch him there because over text he's going to formulate you know

23:51Sophia Tzortziou: and maybe just like say it with confidence like I know what this is not like

23:55Cynthia O'Neill: hmm what do you think this is yeah I think this is your semen in the toilet

23:58Sophia Tzortziou: is it not I think your semen found its way into the toilet in Nora's suite

24:02Cynthia O'Neill: yeah like we've been together for over a year definitely know the visual appearance of your semen it appears to be in our basin yeah and I don't appreciate it what are you going to say about that

24:11Sophia Tzortziou: I'm pouring away my cereal and it's going ahead yeah

24:14Cynthia O'Neill: I think calling him out in person when he gets home yeah This morning I found your, I think it was your seam in the toilet.

24:20Sophia Tzortziou: Or just go into the bathroom, you know, when he's going in. Yeah. Boo, you know. Got you. Boo. Whoa. Yes. Porn Willie. Stood there naked. He could need a wee. Like the alarm goes off, you're kind of stirring, like I need a wee, I'm going to get up now. Just go in. Okay, I vouch for that actually.

24:36Cynthia O'Neill: Yeah, catch him in the act. Because you know if you're going to say, I found your seam in the toilet, he's only going to fabricate some sort of lie. He's going to deny it. He's not going to say, oh yes, that is. like he's not

24:44Sophia Tzortziou: I would say yeah when you hear that when the you know the sink when it you hear the noise and it's like I'm going in when he closes that door and he's five minutes in and it's like

24:52Cynthia O'Neill: ooh go in

24:54Sophia Tzortziou: yeah because something might be on his phone or blah blah blah sounds like he's plugging it

24:57Cynthia O'Neill: so what's he doing he's plugging in headphones because he can't be playing it out like oh unless he's just watching it or it's on mute

25:02Sophia Tzortziou: yeah he could just be watching it

25:03Cynthia O'Neill: so he's just on mute and he's stood there naked over the sink over the toilet yeah

25:07Sophia Tzortziou: yeah

25:08Cynthia O'Neill: because I'm assuming he's having a morning poo at this hour maybe it's not arrived yet

25:12Sophia Tzortziou: it could be too early.

25:13Cynthia O'Neill: Maybe he needs to wank before he's ready. Maybe he has that

25:17Sophia Tzortziou: when he gets to work. Coffee on the way. Coffee on the way. Five days early for a poo to arrive.

25:21Cynthia O'Neill: Hello lads. I'm ready to, yeah.

25:23Sophia Tzortziou: Take my dump.

25:24Cynthia O'Neill: Yeah. Take my morning dump. Maybe he stops off at Greg's.

25:27Sophia Tzortziou: After that cheese and bean melt that'll do it.

25:29Cynthia O'Neill: That would get me moving for sure. Okay, so yeah. Catch him in the act. Yeah, because that's weird. And also like we need to talk about this because actually I set a boundary and it appears that you're going behind my back and doing something really dodgy. Yeah. I guess men do wake up with a boner sometimes. But I've heard apparently it's not an aroused, it's not actually an aroused feeling. It's more just like - Energy. Yes. The rush. It's not like, oh, I'm horny. It's just like, ooh.

25:59Sophia Tzortziou: Energy, rush, let's go.

26:04Sophia Tzortziou: It's energy.

26:05Cynthia O'Neill: Energy.

26:06Sophia Tzortziou: Well, I feel like men wake up like a bit more ready to go.

26:09Cynthia O'Neill: Our hormones need to get, yeah.

26:12Sophia Tzortziou: It's a slower start to the day.

26:13Cynthia O'Neill: Yeah.

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27:30Cynthia O'Neill: Oh, he's obsessed with watching our sex tape. Okay. Okay. That could be worse things that he's obsessed with.

27:39Sophia Tzortziou: Yeah.

27:39Cynthia O'Neill: I've got pins of need, sorry.

27:41Sophia Tzortziou: Yeah, me too, kind of.

27:43Cynthia O'Neill: I'm just trying to cover my toes.

27:46Sophia Tzortziou: Spread your legs.

27:49Cynthia O'Neill: Ew! What is up with this chick today? It's a creepy chick. Oh, I've got pins. Yeah, okay. Hello, gorgeous girls. Stop it. Thanks. I can't believe I'm actually writing in with my own dilemma. your podcast has been playing non-stop since i found it three years ago your voices are so nice to listen to while i'm working or doing chores thank you sarah thank you sarah that is so nice i'm so glad i found it because i don't know what who to confide in about this as it's very intimate subject and i don't quite know why it sent me spiraling so much so your advice would would be very much appreciated. Okay, this is a first.

28:32Cynthia O'Neill: This is a girl's background first.

28:34Sophia Tzortziou: what it was.

28:35Cynthia O'Neill: He's obsessed with watching our sex tape. Yes, this is a first. At least it's not. You're a pioneer. You are. At least it's not him and his ex's sex tape. But obviously, there's some, she's not quite. But yeah, it's not sitting right with you. It's obviously an issue. Maybe it's like he can't be present anymore. And he's like, he's like, well, let me pull it up. It's like, I'm right here, naked. Yeah. Like this is me from the video. Yeah. If you didn't know, that's me. Yeah. In a flash. Yeah. For some context, I've been with my Brian for 15 years. Wow. Congratulations. I'm - It's not often we get that here.

29:13Cynthia O'Neill: Yeah. I'm almost 30 and he's 32. So since we were 15. Wow. Half of your life. That's, whoa. I love that for you guys. That's amazing. We met at a party of a mutual friend. We didn't talk much that night, but in the morning he sent me a message telling me he asked for my number and wanted to take me on a date. I was obviously freaking the fuck out because it was the first time a boy properly asked me out. But I also felt kind of smug that it was the first in my friendship group to be asked out on a proper date. You were cool. Little did I know I was going to meet up with a man I will spend the rest of my life with.

29:48Cynthia O'Neill: That's insane. Oh, that's so nice. We became insacrable after the first date, constant texting and calling after school. We spent all of our money from our part-time jobs on seeing each other. Although we were so young, he was such a gentleman from the very beginning. Aw, he's always made me feel so special. And like his number one priority. He's so kind, caring, intelligent. He's my number one cheerleader. And I don't think I would have achieved what I have career-wise if he hadn't encouraged me and got me to believe in my own potential. That's beautiful. That is a beautiful love story. It of course doesn't hurt that he's also the most handsome man I've ever met.

30:27Cynthia O'Neill: I've never once had doubts about our relationship and to clarify before I shared the dilemma I still don't sorry the intro was so long but I could talk about that man for hours okay you love this man we are locked in for life we're just going to get through this roadblock if it even is or it must be it's a dilemma let's get into the dilemma take it away a couple months ago on our anniversary and ahead of me going on a trip for three weeks, I decided it would be fun. It would be a fun idea. Okay, here we go. Here we go. Here we go. So you were going away for three weeks. Roll the tape. And I decided it would be a fun idea to record a video of us in the bedroom to keep us entertained while we're apart.

31:09Cynthia O'Neill: Whoa. You guys. You guys, I love this for you. This would usually be an absolute no-go for me. I've literally lectured friends about the dangers of allowing men to have these videos. but there's no one I trust more in the world than in the world and wanted to try something new. Also like you've been with him for 15 years you're keeping it fresh you're keeping it you know you know you've got this idea you're thinking I trust Brian absolutely this is just fun and sexy. Absolutely. And absolutely you are very right to warn your friends of the dangers of making videos like this with people la la la but you feel like you can trust Brian.

31:45Cynthia O'Neill: Brian knows my opinion on these things very well he never would have made such a suggestion so he was quite shocked and kept asking me if I was sure but I reassured him I was absolutely was it's safe to say we had a very fun night and the video certainly fulfilled their purpose while I was away if I had any worry he would have had a wandering eye without me there it would have erased all of them because this man was a mess constant messages of how he couldn't wait for me to come back yeah what did you guys do I know what he wanted to do to me and when I did to do to me when I did going into detail about things that turned him on the most in the video.

32:23Cynthia O'Neill: He's just fascinated by this video. Wow. I'm glad that you're watching the video back thinking I look fucking great. Yeah, yeah. I don't think I could watch such a thing back. I think I'd be like, oh my fucking God, is that what I look like? I don't believe I could watch myself in those. I'm really happy for you. You'll have to give me a little tips. Me too. So he's talking about the details of the video, you know, the intricacies of it. He's analysed, he's like, I love what you did that. I'm going to break it down, I'm going to slow-mo.

32:48Sophia Tzortziou: I'm going to capture frame by frame.

32:50Cynthia O'Neill: At minute four in, you did the slight move. I love that. I love that. Be nice to do that again. And seeing how attractive I was and everything. It was a very positive experience for the two of you. It was honestly fantastic. And I came back very excited and feeling even more desired than usual. He legitimately couldn't make it through the 45-minute drive back from the airport. So we had to pull over to take the edge off. So it sent him wild. Oh my God, you guys are like a couple of 17 year olds again. And after 15 years, that's beautiful. Really nice. Kept it, you know, still sharp. Lovely. So he was a mess with you gone.

33:29Cynthia O'Neill: Wow. Unfortunately, I have a brain that hates me. So about two weeks after I got back, I started to have some self-sabotaging thoughts. I tried to push them away because I wanted to hold onto the sexual energy of the past month, but they wouldn't stop. I started feeling very insecure about the contents of the video and the fact that it even exists in the first place. Right. Which makes no sense because there's no chance in hell Brian would ever allow it to be seen by anyone else. And he was clearly very much into the contents of it, but I couldn't help it. Okay. Okay. So now those feelings are kind of creeping in.

34:03Cynthia O'Neill: Feelings have changed about the video. Actually, I feel uncomfortable about it now. I caught, she's put in quotes, I caught him watching the video several times. He loves this video. He is like, this is his Bible. He's obsessed with this video. So I caught him watching the video several times and it always turned into me joining him or him wanting me to watch him. On top of me already spiraling, I started to feel horrible because there were no negatives to be seen yet. I still couldn't just let a good thing be a good thing. Okay, so you're kind of like battling with yourself. You're like, no, right now it's a positive experience.

34:41Cynthia O'Neill: Like great things are coming from it, But you're still like, oh, something about this isn't sitting right with me. I've had periods in our relationship where I've had these spirals of self-doubt and insecurity. And he's always been amazing at helping me through them. But I don't want to tell him about this. I know from hearing from friends talk about their partners and listening to your podcast that having a man like this is insanely rare. And to have him choose a video of us instead of porn or OnlyFans when we've been together for so long. and had sex thousands of times should make me very happy but I just can't stop the thoughts no matter how much I know how ridiculous and unfounded they are I know he would be kind and understanding if I did tell him and he would either stop watching the video or delete it altogether to make me feel more comfortable but I don't want that either I guess I'm just feeling very ungrateful and unappreciative right now and I hate it any advice would be greatly appreciated love of spiraling yet loved up Susan.

35:43Cynthia O'Neill: Okay. I think you just got to talk to him. I think you got to talk to him. Literally say everything you've just said to us. Say, I don't really know how I'm feeling, but this is how I'm feeling. Yeah. I'm kind of like, I don't know if I want you to delete the video,

35:56Sophia Tzortziou: stop watching the video. I'm kind of at war with myself. Like I really enjoyed it. It was a really positive, like, but now I'm feeling this way. I think you would, a problem shared is a problem halved. And I think you're so in your own head and there's no one, there's no better person to talk about this with than your partner. Than the person you created the video with. You guys made the video together. Like you can speak to him about anything. He's your home. He's your safe space. You know you can speak to him about it and you know that he would probably either completely put your mind at ease, be like, well, there's no problem.

36:29Sophia Tzortziou: Let's just, let's just leave it. We can always make another one. Let's just delete it. Like, and then if you change your mind, we can make another one. Like there's, you know, I feel like he would solve all of your anxieties and all of your fears and questions about this. Yeah. I would just speak to him. Because right now it's just all your mind battling yourself. Yeah, and it also like, it's so hard when the thoughts are in your head and sometimes just saying them makes them, it loses all their power. And then it's just like, oh, well, that's actually not that, actually kind of makes sense now.

36:56Sophia Tzortziou: And that's not actually that big as it felt in my head. Like you've got the perfect outlet there, the perfect person to speak about this with. and make sense of your feelings, who's not going to tell you we should do this or we should do that, who's just going to listen and kind of guide. And I would lean on him 1000%. And then I think the two of you

37:15Cynthia O'Neill: can come to a conclusion together, whether that's we're going to lock it away in a folder somewhere or we're going to delete it all together because I just think if it's gone, then I won't be having any of these thoughts. Like maybe that's a solution or maybe there's another solution we can come to together. But I think he's going to be nothing but supportive and and help you get through this yeah time you know he's not gonna be like huffing and he sounds like a great guy yeah and he's just very excited about this video he's loving this video i mean how do you ask yourself how you feel when you're because she put caught so how did that make you feel when you found him watching the video like maybe yeah how did that actually make you feel like did you want him not to be watching it did you wish it didn't exist in that moment or do you wish like he just started watching it with you with you you know like how did that make you feel and kind of unpack that but I want you to get to a place where you feel comfortable because right now you're not and yeah the the existence of the video I I understand everything it's confusing it's confusing and also you just never know what's gonna happen in five years time and you know and this is all things to consider so maybe it was like a fun thing we had for a couple of months then we deleted it and it was gone and maybe that's what's gonna make you feel better

38:33Sophia Tzortziou: no one knows you better than him and I feel like he will really help you make sense of your emotions

38:37Cynthia O'Neill: yeah I think he's the only one you can talk to about it you can't not speak to him about it because at the end of the day there's no reason not to speak to him about it and like he's the one in possession of the video that's making you feel uncomfortable yeah

38:49Sophia Tzortziou: but I'm glad it at least started off as a positive experience yeah

38:59Sophia Tzortziou: ah okay we've got a quick fire dilemma oh yes yes the guy i like gave me an std

39:06Cynthia O'Neill: do i carry on seeing him yes or no no i'm gonna say no because that means his pickle was somewhere else in someone else's jar or even worse he knew that he had something irresponsible sexual health because my fear is that he knew he had something funky going on a genital war of some sorts or something going on yeah yeah scratch some heat down there a burn of sorts and he knowingly had that feeling and went and had sex that's irresponsible or he's just slept with a girl two nights before and then set with you i don't like it yeah that's a no from us

39:46Sophia Tzortziou: okay next dilemma subconscious slut era

39:53Sophia Tzortziou: or single bed boredom what does this mean okay so she's she's saying like do i need to enter my

40:00Cynthia O'Neill: slot era or am i just like gonna be single and alone in bed oh i see i think buckle the hell in

40:07Sophia Tzortziou: whoa okay my subconscious mind is currently running a 24 7 adult movie theater and my boyfriend is not the main character boyfriend boyfriend whoa for context i've been with my boyfriend for nearly five years on paper he is the absolute package he's six foot two a surfer kind caring considerate we must be in australia and downs but we always come out stronger he is the love of my life okay the issue our sex life has gone into early retirement and girls I am desperate. Right. About a year ago I had some serious health stuff going on which understandably took the wind out of our sails but now I'm doing much better I'm ready to rumble and yet the sails are still completely down.

40:59Cynthia O'Neill: Right.

40:59Sophia Tzortziou: In the last 12 months we've had sex four times. We cuddle, we kiss, we even shower together but it never crosses the line into actual intimacy. Okay that's interesting. I'm starting to feel like we're just really affectionate roommates who share a bed okay i'm well i'm glad there is still affection between you guys and like adoration and like there's still like a pda there yeah yeah because i'm

41:28Cynthia O'Neill: interesting how like it's not turning into anything else though like it's like you've

41:33Sophia Tzortziou: just got out of the habit yeah because i'm so incredibly frustrated my brian has decided to take matters into his own hands. Enter Steve. What's going on?

41:45Cynthia O'Neill: Okay, so it's very much a thing that we talk about.

41:48Sophia Tzortziou: Oh, sorry. Sorry. Not my Brian. My brain. Oh, I thought Brian was like,

41:54Cynthia O'Neill: we're fixing this. Steve, come on in. Yeah, this is my big dicked friend, Steve.

41:59Sophia Tzortziou: Your brain, sorry, has decided to take, right, enter Steve. Okay, so our mind is thinking about someone else.

42:05Cynthia O'Neill: Or it's just we're fantasizing.

42:07Sophia Tzortziou: Steve was the popular boy at school, the ultimate heartthrob, the one that got away and the guy that I lost my virginity to 11 years ago. Back in sixth form, we had a massive, highly illegal friends with benefits situation.

42:20Cynthia O'Neill: We were dealing drugs.

42:21Sophia Tzortziou: I'm talking, keeping it completely hush hush. Quickies at school. What? Oh my. And getting fingered in the gym. Whoa. Whoa. She's put absolutely feral behavior. And no one knew. wow that's kind of like a thrill it only ended because i caught major feelings and didn't want to just be an option to this gorgeous man right hashtag regrets we completely lost touch until two years ago when i randomly ran into him in a completely different city we exchanged a couple of harmless messages and that was it haven't seen him since okay so why girls please tell me why am am I constantly dreaming about cheating on Brian with Steve?

43:04Sophia Tzortziou: And I'm not talking, you know, rated 12 dreams. I am talking wild, sweaty, waking up, gasping sex dreams. Whoa, yeah. The dream sex is so hot, it's practically better than the real thing.

43:18Cynthia O'Neill: Well, it's because you're going through such a drought right now. You can't even picture yourself having sex with Brian. Yeah. And the last steamy affair you had, that's kind of what you're picturing and fantasizing. like yeah you want that like lust and a yearn back yeah does this mean something is my subconscious

43:34Sophia Tzortziou: screaming at me am I a terrible person I know deep down it's a hundred percent because of the lack of intimacy at home I have tried to talk to Brian about it multiple times I even told him I saw a tiktok saying couples shouldn't go more than 72 hours without intimacy and his response was just a blank stare when I ask why it's been so long he hits me with why are you counting okay so also

43:58Cynthia O'Neill: it's literally not from your side at all this is all from brian's side yeah you're literally like we shouldn't be going longer than 72 hours according to tiktok and he's like he's not

44:08Sophia Tzortziou: he's not taking the bait of the conversation and going like yeah i think i agree like blah blah

44:13Cynthia O'Neill: yeah it's on him yeah yeah and he's not having any of it before brian i had a pretty exciting sex life so we said why are you counting sorry why are you counting i'm way more experienced i'm not

44:24Sophia Tzortziou: you know a vanilla girl i don't want 30 minutes of silent or zero foreplay missionary i'm at the point where i'm so bored i can't even get wet i want to be thrown against the wall i want to be flipped onto the bed yeah yeah i've tried suggesting toys new positions different locations he says he's up for it but then two months pass and nothing changes i know he has that spontaneous passionate side in him because we have had that in the earlier days i couldn't dream of leaving him but i cannot live on a diet of vanilla missionary four times a year no has my gorgeous surfer boyfriend just become my asexual best friend how do i fix this before steve takes over my brain completely she's put the devil emoji the purple guy do we have a picture no

45:11Cynthia O'Neill: i think brian needs to wake up and you need to say to brian look i do love you and i and i don't want to leave you but however if we don't fix our sex life then i'm going to have to because this is an integral part of our relationship. I feel like this is something

45:24Sophia Tzortziou: that you guys can fix. But he doesn't think,

45:26Cynthia O'Neill: but he's like, why are you counting? Like he, he's like, doesn't even seem to care. I know. Which is the concerning part. Because it's like, he should be like, oh my God, Sarah, I love you. Oh, whoa. How have we even gone even one day without having intimacy? Yeah, that's so crazy. Come here right now and give me a smooth, get this going. Get that number five going right now. Yeah, like why is he, why is he not then acting upon it?

45:47Sophia Tzortziou: Maybe there's some embarrassment from him. Something's going on with him. Maybe there's some, like you know he knows that you got like we both know here the level of our intimacy and he knows that you've probably tried to initiate a few times and he has it like there might be some sort of insecurity or like something from him something's going on with him that's making him kind of be like oh why are you counting like um but i'd like to think you guys can get over it and fix it i think you've been together for a long time you say he's the love of your life i think it's normal to go through like different phases of your in your sex life as a long-term couple so I would like to think that you guys can get past this and get back to your usual routine yeah that you're both happy with yeah but that needs you you both want to have to get back there to get back there it can't just be you initiating and feeling rejected or us just not speaking about it I mean you guys are obviously like I still think you're in love like you're still like showering together and having nice kisses and cuddles and there's still affection there but it's literally like you guys have just got out of the habit so you need to get back into the habit but it is strange that he won't speak

47:00Cynthia O'Neill: about it yeah and it's like he has to like you literally are like I want to have sex hi and he's like doesn't he he has to want it too so you need to try and like get a bit more out of him with

47:12Sophia Tzortziou: this conversation.

47:13Cynthia O'Neill: Yeah, I think you need to like be like, oh, Brian, like, sorry. I think we've

47:16Sophia Tzortziou: tried the like subtle. Yeah, I saw this on TikTok. I'm going to send you this and we need to have a little bit more of like, doesn't have to be super formal, but just a bit of pillow talk, a little bit of just like.

47:27Cynthia O'Neill: You've done the hints, you've done the like, oh, should we buy a new toy? And he's like, yeah, like you've done the kind of like trying to just hint it out. But I think now this is getting to the point where no, this can't go on. You need to actually say, look, Brian, we've had do you know we've had sex four times this whole year and like i'm not counting but i am um but like it's not a lack from my side i want to know if there's something going on like do you even want to be with me yeah are you even attracted let's start asking some questions like like what's got is anything going on down there you know anything medical do you feel it like i think it's now time for those conversations and he's gonna have to answer them it's like we've been in a relationship five years yeah we're gonna talk about this you have to have a conversation with me yeah like we're both in this relationship yeah and then if he's just still again huffing like like that it's like well what you need more to work with like if my boyfriend can't speak to me then what the hell am I meant to do like I'm gonna have to move on because I can't be in a

48:19Sophia Tzortziou: relationship for another five years yeah he needs to start communicating a bit more yeah if he can't

48:24Cynthia O'Neill: start opening up about what's going on and how he's actually feeling then it's gonna be hard to fix yes good luck my fiance wants a threesome okay okay hi girls absolutely love the pod and i've been listening since the very first episode wow wow you've been here for a long time i never For some background, I've been with my fiance Brian for five years and we're getting married next year. He truly is. That's lovely. He truly is the love of my life and I can't wait to spend forever with him. The only issue we have is that he's constantly bringing up wanting a threesome.

49:16Sophia Tzortziou: Oh my God. Constantly is a bit exhausting. Like if you've said no. Yeah. You're going to have to drop it.

49:23Cynthia O'Neill: Yeah. Because it's kind of concerning now the fact that you keep bringing it up. I've set a boundary and I've said no. So it's like, what's going on here? Drop it. Yeah. Like, if you don't drop it now. We have really great sex and are both open to try new things. Sometimes I'm even the one encouraging him more. However, about a year ago, he mentioned the idea of a threesome. And honestly, I wouldn't completely rule it out. I do think it could be fun, but it was never a like absolute yes. Yeah. It didn't stem from you. You were kind of like, oh, okay. I could maybe consider that. But that's not really something that's on the top of my list.

50:02Cynthia O'Neill: Like, I don't really want to do that. But now, a year later, it's still coming up all the time. All the time. This would piss me off. He mentions it during sex. Nah.

50:14Sophia Tzortziou: No.

50:15Cynthia O'Neill: Because now I'm thinking that your head's elsewhere. And now I'm getting a bit. You're thinking like, oh, do you know what? Because now I'm thinking, we're having sex. You're with me. Your wife. Your mind's wandering. Your fiance, and you're telling me now what would make this better is another naked woman. Yeah. Like, come on. Like, no.

50:32Sophia Tzortziou: Oh, man.

50:33Cynthia O'Neill: Oh, man. When talking dirty, so he's bringing up during sex, when talking dirty and even outside of the bedroom. For example, if I have a single friend over.

50:43Sophia Tzortziou: Oh, no, that's so inappropriate. That is like, but also like, stop. Yeah.

50:49Cynthia O'Neill: Like, she just, like, no.

50:50Sophia Tzortziou: Stop sexualizing my friends. Like, that's weird.

50:52Cynthia O'Neill: Like don't, so every friend I have, you're vetting them to see if like you want to have a threesome with them. No, that's weird. That's...

50:58Sophia Tzortziou: God, it really is consuming his mind, isn't it? Yeah.

51:01Cynthia O'Neill: It's actually quite concerning.

51:02Sophia Tzortziou: Yeah, that is concerning. Yeah. Also just very inappropriate. Yeah.

51:06Cynthia O'Neill: I'd be like, I'd start to be like, who the fuck, what are you doing?

51:10Sophia Tzortziou: Yeah. That's weird.

51:11Cynthia O'Neill: You're like giving me the ick.

51:13Sophia Tzortziou: Yeah. I'm sure he wouldn't like it if anytime his friends came around, you'd be like, oh, he's single. He could join us. Absolutely.

51:18Cynthia O'Neill: Yeah.

51:19Sophia Tzortziou: He'd be like, oh, yeah.

51:20Cynthia O'Neill: Imagine. Yeah. It's Sarah. Imagine you were having sex with him You'd be like Oh I wish Steve was here It'd be even better What about Paul? Where's Paul tonight? Yeah like I wish there was another man here Like I'm sure he would have a problem with that So I'm a bit pissed off Maybe you should try that I'm pissed off For a bit of role reversal He thinks it's appropriate To be bringing this up It's like If we wanted to have a threesome If I wanted to have a threesome We would have had one Like it's been a year Yeah And you spoke about it enough Like get the message

51:44Sophia Tzortziou: Yeah disappointing

51:45Cynthia O'Neill: Yeah So for example If I have a single friend over He'll ask if I think she'd be interested no that's really uncomfortable that's because also like if we are going to have a threesome it might most likely going to be someone who ate my mate yeah it's going to be a stranger so the fact that you're thinking that it's even a possibility that it's going to be one of my mates is is wild yeah yeah like sort your head out sort your head out so he'll ask if he i think should be interested my friend actually has experience with couples so asking her wouldn't be shocking but I really don't want to risk damaging our friendship no I've explained that if we were ever to do this I'd much prefer it be with someone we don't know so my question is should we just go ahead and try it just to get it out of our systems or do I need to set firmer boundaries so he stops bringing it up so often while I'm open to the idea I worry that if we do it once he'll want it to become a regular thing which isn't what I want and if you do think it's something worth exploring i'd really appreciate advice on where to even start when it comes to finding a third person yeah i've got much experience so i can definitely help you out thanks website thanks so much girls lots of love a very confused sarah all right sarah from my from me looking in it looks like you don't really want to do this yeah it sounds like you you can't you'd only be doing it because he's been obsessed with the idea of it for a year so i don't want

53:08Sophia Tzortziou: you to do it just because he wants to do it like would you be relieved or disappointed if he came to you and said i've actually really gone off the idea of a threesome i never want a threesome i've never i never want that at all i think would you be like oh thank god or would you be like oh okay kind of thought we would do it once but like okay i think she'd be relieved because she's getting pissed off at this that's a good question to ask yourself to show shine some light on how you really feel about this because i feel like you're struggling to separate your feelings from your fiance's feelings you've kind of been like oh well I guess I would be open to it but it wasn't really my idea like is that you just trying to be what you think is a good fiance and like try anything once or is actually you don't that's not something that you would want to do I think you need to try and get in tune with do I want this or not do I want to go down this road and potentially open this kind of worms or not am I gonna have a positive experience here or not and then move I

54:02Cynthia O'Neill: think the fact that you're pissed off with him bringing it up so much is like i don't want to do it doesn't sound like you want to do this if i wanted to do it we would have done it fucking eight months ago yeah so stop and i think you're saying like should i set firmer boundaries yeah you need to say to him like i don't want to have it now because i do think sarah if you were to have a fresome it only because he's been a fucking going on about it for over here and won't fucking shut up but i do think if you did have one then i do think it would open it up to him be like let's do it again let's do it again and again and again because obviously he's obsessed with this idea of bringing other people into your relationship so i think set i think before we marry this guy

54:41Sophia Tzortziou: okay yeah well because we need to iron out this kink before we marry this guy problem here then

54:46Cynthia O'Neill: he needs to know how when you set a boundary he respects it and drops it yeah you know as he would expect in return so i would hope that you're gonna then say okay hey brian hey brian um hey by the hey by the way yeah by the way i know you are really excited about the idea of a threesome you have been for over a year i think you've made it very known yeah i've been thinking however yeah however i've been thinking about a lot and i categorically do not want to have a threesome so i'd really appreciate it if you drop the idea and we left it at that and just well not even i

55:22Sophia Tzortziou: don't care how you feel that's no i mean the sense of like yes if a non-negotiable for him in a relationship is that he wants well then we shouldn't be getting married because like i've got a very firm boundary on this and if you're not okay with that you need to speak now or forever hold your peace because like we're walking down the aisle any minute so here's only a response

55:38Cynthia O'Neill: there if we're gonna walk down the aisle is of course my love yeah i love you so much if this if this what makes you comfortable you don't want to do it we don't have to do it i will drop it instantly i love you so much kiss kiss kiss a threesome is not even important to me squashed

55:51Sophia Tzortziou: yeah like this has loomed over us for a year yeah i think yeah you've made your mind up let's just stand on it and see how he reacts yeah because if it's anything other than that or if it's like

56:03Cynthia O'Neill: i really want it's such a shame i thought we were gonna come on you said that you wanted to what about her what about we go on this website and like what about that lady from the shop yeah like if he's not dropping it's like no whoa i've just set a boundary here and i really wish you would respect it and yeah and you're not i'm like i don't want to marry you sorry you can't marry someone who's not then gonna respect your boundaries so let's hope i hope for his sake um

56:31Sophia Tzortziou: that he acknowledges and takes seriously what the laws that you're laying down i hope he's

56:37Cynthia O'Neill: nothing but acceptance of you making this decision and he leaves it otherwise like we're not getting married we can't sarah good luck but yeah good he was posted actually do

56:56Sophia Tzortziou: help he's perfect except in the bedroom right okay okay hi girls never thought i'd be right but then is he perfect but here we are so we are i don't know like is there a coach we can find

57:11Cynthia O'Neill: okay to improve i guess let's see what the issue is yeah yeah there's hips limbo maybe he just needs to stretch maybe maybe he just needs like yeah a yoga class or two yeah yeah i've been

57:23Sophia Tzortziou: listening for years and thank you for making my Wednesdays in the office so much better. You honestly feel like my co-workers at this point.

57:30Cynthia O'Neill: I love that. We're in HR so that's fine

57:32Sophia Tzortziou: with us. I need some advice. My co-worker and her boyfriend have been trying to set me up with one of his friends. We will call him Brian for the last couple of months. I'm really close with my co-worker and trust her judgment and I know if her boyfriend is such a good guy, I know her boyfriend is such a good guy so I figured I would give it a chance. Also quite a nice like meet you like oh we've been set up by mutual friends you know we work together it's also quite nice it's

57:57Cynthia O'Neill: nice when someone thinks of you for someone else i agree like someone like you know me yes and then you also know him and if you're if you know us together yeah well you know us separately and if you think we'll be good together that's actually really really nice so um a couple of weeks ago

58:13Sophia Tzortziou: the four of us finally went on a double date this is really really we went to a baseball game this

58:18Cynthia O'Neill: This is so fun. He's got a hard dog.

58:20Sophia Tzortziou: And honestly, Brian and I got on super well. I'm 23, he's 26, and he's a police officer. He was super respectful, easy to talk to, and just genuinely lovely. If the officer could see me now. After the game, we went to a bar with live music, danced together for hours, and ended the night with a kiss. From then on, we were texting every day and planned a dinner date for the following week.

58:41Cynthia O'Neill: Oh, my God. This is perfect. This is, like, lovely.

58:44Sophia Tzortziou: Girls, he absolutely smashed the date. Wow. He opened every door, booked the cutest restaurant, was so thoughtful and made me feel so comfortable like I was the only person in the room. It honestly felt like such a refreshing change from the men I've dated in the past couple of years. After dinner, we went back to his apartment to watch a movie. And as you'd expect, things started to get a bit heated. We were making out and things naturally progressed. That's when I realized I was definitely more experienced than him. Okay. Now, this isn't a turnoff at all. And I don't think any less of him because of it.

59:21Sophia Tzortziou: I've still been with someone who's less experienced than me before. Part of me worries that maybe we might not be sexually compatible. But another part of me feels like that's probably something that comes with time, especially when you're still getting to know each other.

59:36Cynthia O'Neill: Also, the first time, sometimes you can't judge it on the first time, like nerves and things.

59:41Sophia Tzortziou: The thing I'm struggling with is that I feel like I'll have to take the lead and maybe even be the teacher. And I don't really know how to do that without making him feel awkward or embarrassed. He's genuinely such a nice guy and I really do see potential with him. So I don't want something that could improve with time to be the reason I walk away. So girls, I guess my question is, what would you do? Do I give it a few more dates and assume it was just first time nerves? how do I subtly guide someone in the bedroom without making them feel like they're doing everything wrong is there a different way to take the lead while still making him feel confident I really don't want to let a genuinely good guy go over something that might not even be an issue

1:00:25Cynthia O'Neill: in a month's time yeah love you girls I think you've yeah said it right yeah on that last thing I I think look it was the first day I think let's write that first experience off as we were both a bit nervous yeah like we're a bit more we don't know how each other ticks exactly maybe he was in his head a bit he wanted to please and he was just a bit nervous la la la i do think you can't really write it yeah off as like that's how we're gonna have sex every time that it wasn't like oh my god

1:00:55Sophia Tzortziou: that was a sexual awakening my mind's been blown yeah but that doesn't mean that you guys can't get there i think it deserves a few more tries i think so i'm gonna write that off as first date

1:01:05Cynthia O'Neill: nerves and he really likes you and he wanted to do a good job and he felt the pressure and he got

1:01:10Sophia Tzortziou: in his head a bit he thought i need to woo this girl and and he just got in his head and maybe you are more experienced than him yeah and he kind of maybe was feeling that also and then panicked even more and was like oh my god i bet she's used to so much better and like blah blah blah i think

1:01:23Cynthia O'Neill: giving another chance like build his confidence up a bit yeah feel an ego boost yeah feel a bit more comfortable with you giving words of affirmation maybe next time when he does something good and maybe just kind of start there and see how it goes the second time around then you can take it from there and think okay maybe this is going to have to be like a teaching situation like a guiding situation yeah and how you feel how does that make you feel does that feel like something you want to do are you open to doing that or if you don't want to do it then you don't want to do it and you don't have to do it you don't have to see him again you don't have to do it you don't want to do it and it's as simple as that and I know he's lovely but I'm sure there are other lovely guys but I also don't like I do think you could guide him and teach him but but we don't know if it's that situation yet i think give him one more shot maybe even two more shots yeah and just write it down to like nerves and performance anxiety yeah i agree because i do think men can

1:02:11Sophia Tzortziou: get like that first time he sounds really good and he sounds lovely and it sounds like it's worth a little bit more time and he's vetted by like your colleague and his boyfriend like he's obviously a

1:02:23Cynthia O'Neill: good guy you know he's not a weirdo yeah so i i do think a couple more goes could be i think it was a performance anxiety thing. I'm going to write off as that. Keep us posted. Give him one more shot. You've only got one shot to make it count. You might never get this moment again. God, the poor guy. You might never get that moment again.

1:02:44Sophia Tzortziou: Hopefully next Friday. Next Friday, absolutely. Yeah, when you guys go on your date. It's going to be lovely. Right. It'll be the night of nights.

1:02:52Cynthia O'Neill: We have a lovely blonde. Brian, star of the week this week. Shout out, Prince Charming. He is fully blonde. Hi, girls. I'd love to nominate my Brian, Alex. Shout out, Alex. For start of the week, we met while working abroad on a cruise ship. Oh, you guys. I love on the sea. Oh, I was a dancer and he worked in jewelry sales. He's Australian and I'm English, you guys. Australian. I recently became seriously and well and had to return home to the UK for my contract. Alex flew all the way over to be by my side And look after me while I was recovering He looked after me, supported me And it meant so much to me to have him with me During such a difficult time After two months in the UK Looking after me, he returned home to Australia Despite being on opposite sides of the world He made it work and put in the effort Then he applied for his UK visa And it was granted Alex, what a guy After everything we've been through I'm so excited that we can finally start our life together Here in the UK one year of long distance has made us appreciate every little moment together and i can't wait to see what the future holds for us pics below shut up she's got her very own cody simpson oh my god sarah and alex what a lovely couple alex thank you for taking care of our sarah thank you so much like you see if they wanted to they would make it work long distance you know wow wow shout out

1:04:19Sophia Tzortziou: Alex Alex from Australia yes absolutely well thank you guys so much for listening if you have a dilemma or a star of the week entry you can email it to hello at the good bathroom.com

1:04:31Cynthia O'Neill: you can also follow us on all socials that exist and we will see you on Monday or back right here next Wednesday see ya bye

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