Boy Talk: I FOUND him on 'Are we dating the same guy?'

0:00Hey guys, it's Paige from Giggly Squad. Okay, can we all agree that hosting is so much fun? And I really do love it. Every weekend, it's come over for snacks, let's make dinner together, and somehow the second you put out a fruit platter, it seems that bugs show up before your friends do. This is why I have to have my Zeevo flying insect trap. You plug it in and you let it do all the work. It's specially designed blue and UV light attracts the bugs you didn't know you had. And wow, did we have a lot. Like houseflies, fruit flies, gnats, and then with Zivo, bam. Next thing you know, the pests are caught in the sticky cartridge and away from your yummy treats without any mess or strong odors.

0:39The best part is the design is actually sleek and curved, so it hides the bugs it catches, keeping them out of sight, and when the cartridge is full, you just grab the no mess tab, throw it in the trash, pop in a new cartridge, and then you're done. No mess, no stress. So whether you're hosting a dinner party or spending an afternoon baking treats with all your friends, and you want to focus on hosting and not constantly swatting at bugs, Zivo has you covered with 24-7 bug protection. Plug in a Zivo flying insect trap so you can work smarter, not harder, and actually enjoy your time at home. Hi, it's Mark Bittman from the podcast Food with Mark Bittman and the website The Bittman Project.

1:19One of the things that makes Whole Foods market it different is their commitment to quality standards. More than 500 ingredients are banned store-wide to give us peace of mind whether we're browsing through the store or shopping online. And it's been this way since 1980. Their selectivity makes your shopping easier. Shop Whole Foods Market in-store or online. Thank you. The only person ruining this moment, sir, is you. And he doesn't want to waste his time. Oh my God.

2:09Sorry, it just came out. Starting the vibes high this Wednesday. I'm not actually tired. No, I'm feeling really good, actually. I'm feeling really good but I couldn't sleep last night I would like my brain was too alive last night like I could almost feel my heart was like pumping last night yeah I was like I can't I need to like I can't wind down like how do I wind down yeah do your books not wind you down I thought that was the whole premise usually yeah but like I was I was reading and I was like I'm usually fast asleep by now like I usually don't really make it through a page or two in the evening had No, not in the afternoon.

2:47Goodness me. Well, I was a sneaky girl. I was just like wired. I mean, don't get me wrong. I was asleep by like 11. Yeah, okay. But I was like, God, this has taken me a while to drift off. I wasn't even in bed at 11. I know, but we live very differently. Yeah, absolutely. We have different body clocks. Absolutely. When you're aware that you're not drifting off. Yeah. And I was like, I'm usually drifting off by this point. And you need to not get to that point where you're stressing about the sleep. Not drifting off. Yeah. And then I was like, oh, I was supposed to get it. Yeah. Yeah. Just couldn't shit my brain off.

3:17Yeah. Yeah, that's a shame. Well, you should have put a calm story on. Yeah. Because I've been putting like a podcast on. Yeah. You know, if my mind's a bit busy and then you're just focused on the words and then I'm out. That's usually what the book does though. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Kindle stand, clicker. Yeah. And I was like, God, I'm really getting through this story tonight. Maybe getting through something high stress. Maybe I am. High stress. Maybe it was that man in my house this morning and I was preempting the - Yeah, yeah. just builders in the house. An uncomfortable situation. Taking up so much space.

3:48Yeah. I'm trying to get ready. You're in the way. I can't even. You're spreading yourself out. I can't have money in my house. Your fucking toolbox is on my cream carpet. No, that's not. I keep having to tell you to take your trainers off. No. You bring in ladders. To be fair, I've just got that one nice handyman who came here that one time. Yeah, he's nice. And he is nice. Yeah. He's the only man I lie in my flat. Yeah, he's nice. He takes his shoes off. And he's a regular. He's a regular. We have a... Hi again. Yeah. Hello, how are you? That's as far as it goes. Hi again. Thank you. Just that on the wall there, please.

4:22Yeah. Hi again. Well, I'm braving the horizontal stripes today. Yep. Love it. Everyone keeps... Whenever we're in horizontal stripes, now it's like... Trini and Suzanne. Braving the horizontal stripes. I got comments on TikTok. Braving the horizontal stripes. It's actually... It's a bold and brave move, especially in yellow. Yeah. Right? It's giving us sunshine. It's giving us just like good vibes. Yeah, it's giving like... A ray of sunshine. It's giving like primary school teacher, like I'm happy. Hi kids. It's giving Balamori good. Yeah, hi students. Yeah, Miss Rachel vibes. Hello. Yeah, it is.

4:57It's giving woo, woo, woo. I teach children. Yeah, it's great and colourful. I'm an art teacher. That's what it's giving. It's giving. So today we're going to be using charcoal to create an image of... I miss paints. Yeah, Chintzy was an art A-level student. student I can't actually talk about A level art because it does piss me off yeah I remember because it's just like it was more about the writing than it was about the artistry yeah you're not judged on your talent you're judged on and the natural flair how well you can write about the fucking development the thing that you've made which is I think that's just I understand that is education it's criminal to the arts you know and it's just like no offence to anyone in my A level class but some of the weakest students artists we're getting A stars just because they're the Aaliyah of the right and I don't have the Aaliyah of the right if only ChatGBT existed then then you would no I keep saying like if ChatGBT existed when we were at school seriously what are the kids doing now because surely they're just writing their essays on ChatGBT because when I was on holiday with Lydia and she's like I was like just pull ChatGBT up babe yeah get it done yeah get your essay hand it off she was like yeah I mean I mean maybe I'm just joking obviously you know But apparently you can ask Jack GBT, write me an essay and make it undetectable.

6:16Like AI undetectable. Can you say like, write me an essay in French on euthanasia? A hundred percent. Because that would have saved our lives. A hundred percent. Do they know different languages? She's a genius. I know she is. Of course, she knows everything. Wow. That's like the death of Google is coming. We should name her. I just call her a her. Yeah. Well, it's, you know, the Alexa, the Siri. I guess she doesn't have she wasn't named she wasn't named but we could name our one yeah well you can give them voices you know wow and you can speak to them and then they'll reply in a voice I don't that to me I don't want to get that far you know that's quite nice really yeah but then it's like I bet there's people who are falling in love with with guys I know and this is slippery slow that's so true you know they're falling in love with their chat you know you can get emotional and if you put it on a man voice well it's like that man who's in love with his car and has sex with his car and his donkey and the Ferris wheel the man who's in love with his Ferris with that Ferris wheel and the man who's in love with that roller coaster is there a roller coaster I used to watch it all could be I used to love those shows

7:35well happy Wednesday everyone how is everyone feeling we made it halfway through the week we've made it halfway it's Wednesday afternoon like I think if you're listening to this like past like 3 p.m it's like babe the day's done yeah the week is done like tomorrow's Thursday and then tomorrow we're going to be saying it's Friday tomorrow yeah because I always remember at school Wednesdays were tough Wednesdays were tough but Wednesday afternoon like that way home from school on On Wednesday, it was like, oh, it's Thursday tomorrow. I don't remember thinking on Thursdays that we were almost there.

8:11It was just like a Friday. It was like, thank God. I remember thinking like Thursday, like I'm saying it's Friday tomorrow. Really? Oh yeah, that's true. Thursday morning. But then like Thursday afternoon. Yeah. Let's get it. Friday afternoon. Let's get it. Yeah, let's get it. Well, we've got a funny question of the week. If we had a free period, it was like, oh my God. Free period, babes. Let's get it. Okay. Okay, so our question of the week this week is, speaking of the horizontal stripes, what's an outfit - What's the story in Balamori, babes? A man wore that made you question everything. Because I do think, you know, for men - Have you seen that man on TikTok?

8:47I literally saw it yesterday and he was wearing black leggings vinyl. Wet leggings. Yes. The wet look. I don't know who he was. I don't know what it was. I saw it as Grawl. I saw it as Grawl. Yeah, but wet, but not even leather shiny vinyl oof yeah anyway that's a serve I mean I feel like the classic is going to be like the skinny white jeans and the low especially with summer coming out yeah but I do feel like for men it's very easy to get it right like all you really need is a man ASOS exists ASOS exists and it's great like it's like a good pair some good pairs of jeans some good t-shirts some nice we don't have to do too much You know, what are those nice trousers?

9:33You know, little straight trousers. Nothing skinny, nothing tapered. And a clean trainer. And a nice pair. And a white Nike Air Force. And a nice pair of sunglasses. Yes. It's really not hot. Maybe a nice little necklace. Okay, we've got here the first culprit. Ripped leather jeans and a velvet top. It's giving texture. Whoa. Sir, why are we mixing such textures, babes? Say that again. Ripped leather jeans. What the fuck? So like leather trousers. Yeah. It's giving Ross from Friends. Yeah, yeah. And a velvet top. With the whip! It's giving Ross. Oh my God. The way I would guess. Leather jacket.

10:15Oh my God. This man. Leather! Do you know what happened to this man? This man watched Top Gun and thought. Yeah. I'm cool. I'm cool. Yeah. Because listen to this. Bless him. Yeah. Leather jacket. it aviator sunglasses oh he wanted to be tom cruise maybe he actually has a listen i watched the new when we watched the new top gun yeah we i went and bought a pair of aviators oh i was like everyone looks fucking good in these aviators are a classic and she still rocks all her different i remember when i was gagging for a pair of aviators and i'm sure they will come back around and if not they may be back they're the classic but oh maybe he does actually have a motorbike so maybe he does so we can give him a pass ripped denim jeans that had sparkly diamantes in the rips oh we just don't need to do that much that's actually insane zara bomber jacket light pink oh actually i think i think obviously he wasn't wearing it he wasn't wearing with the jacket was wearing him because the thing is is like if harry styles wore a pink bomber jacket fucking hell we'd eat it up we'd eat it up so jogger shorts under jogging bottoms but the bottoms being halfway down his bum yeah I mean this is a tale as old as time I mean it's giving central sea I don't get why central sea walks with his arsehole out are you not like afraid we can go back for back yeah I do and so does like Jaden and Justin Bieber back in the day and Justin Bieber even now like I just don't really get it do they think it makes their torso look longer do they think it makes them look taller maybe like just do do they think it makes their legs look short because it makes their legs look shorter they must want that they must want that yeah and they must want a longer torso because that's the only because it's like your torso is now starting at your willy when really sir your waist is up here a few inches high like pull your trousers up yeah and your legs look yeah your legs are this long your bum's here like a minion It starts up here and the little head's there.

12:20Yeah, they must want their legs to look small. Yeah. Because then if you're wearing high tops as well. But like, you're having to hold your trousers up. are you not stressed? But that's the part. Are you not stressed? But that's the part of their allure. The allure. It's part of the walk. I know. You know? Lean and bop. Yeah. Like central seats, the part of the swag. Yeah, the swag. But like, does he walk around his house like that? Or is that like, I'm going out, I'm going to pull my trousers down. I'm sure they're sat up here. I bet he's got a fucking belt on as well. Yeah, at home, I'm sure they're sat fine.

12:47Belt and braces. But, you know, when he's in front of the public, he wants the ankles to look short, the legs to look short, the torso to look long. Is it also just like, do they think it's like effortless vibes? Like rolled out of bed? Yeah. Effortless. Bedhead. Like big chain, just like effortless. Like I've not really made an effort today. Maybe that's what it is. Yeah. Like slouchy. I'm just looking up. Central C. Bum. Out. Let's have a look, sir. We could ask ChatGVT. I mean, yeah. Yeah. I see. Boom. Yeah. Like, at least. Who thinks it looks good? At least have green boxers on. Right, at least have a right pantone.

13:26Do you know what I mean? At least have green. I don't think any female looks at the boxer shorts and think, yeah, that looks good. Look, green hat. But men must think it looks good on other men. Green hat. Green hoodie. He should have green boxers on to make it all at least monotone. yeah like your whole ass no and here as well you had a hole in your pants god forbid i mean i remember hearing one time that david beckham never rewears a pair of boxers i've heard that too and he just chucks them out i've heard that too always a fresh pack of kelvin clines i appreciate that but not good for the environment no that's true because you can like wash your boxers david i mean how filthy are you getting them sorry we've got here yeah sleeveless hoodie wait that's a sin sorry I had to just I've got one but mine's cute yeah it's cute when it's cropped mine's a cute little cropped yeah yeah yeah on a guy that's that's criminal yeah no thank you with a drawstring oh my god tight white turtleneck nipples out everything nipples out tight along the arms tight on the ankle on the wrist on the wrist on the neck just like that

14:35no skims bucket hat on a first date Okay. Yeah, I mean, it's... Okay. Fake Versace t-shirt. Aw. Okay. Aw. Kept wearing a pair of Carhartt jeans that were too tight and short and his belly bulged over them. Aw, no. Aw. Aw. Carhartt's cool, you see. Carhartt's really cool. You know, I know for the boys, it's really cool. Yeah, Carhartt's cool. So you can't let... You know, if you've got that one pair of Carhartt jeans, I'm sure he's wearing them to death. Aw. That's him. he put on a pair of cuffed beige cargos last week cuffed you can just cut that cut cut yeah you can just cut the cut off sarah because i've seen people do that with women's joggers just cut the cut off i mean you've got a nice pair of so much better so you could just take this to them an all-gray tracksuit i feel like that's kind of a sleigh i think that's sexy no someone hates that my ex always used to wear nike tech tracksuits it's like a shell suit energy let's look it up hoodie with a t-shirt over it absolutely vile how are you getting a t-shirt over your hoodie that's an interesting choice i'm not actually like let's see it's like this it's got lining it's got like oh yeah it's just actually i mean if that's all they wear it's like oh fucking hell at least it's matching i can he before i can see Yeah, can he swish it down the corridor?

16:02Look, yeah. I imagine he's got his bum out though, probably. Yeah. You know, because that's probably the look. It's kind of basic. Spiky Louboutins. Wait, let's just take a moment for the spiky lube. Paints, splattered jeans and LV printed top. Save to say I never looked back. This was the spiky lube person. White leather jeans. Michael Jackson was quaking in his boots. White leather. Or the same outfit, jeans, black t-shirt and trainers to every date. We went on five. Oh, maybe Steve Jobs. Yeah, he's giving Steve Jobs actually. You know, and if it's a good black t-shirt and good pair of jeans.

16:45Like it's his favorite one. He feels good in it. I'm hoping that you would open, I'm hoping it's not the same. I'm hoping you open his wardrobe and there's like 20 black tops and 20 pairs of the same jeans. Your dates could have been over five weeks. So every Friday that you just put, you know. They've washed it. They've washed it. Oh. My Brian used to wear skinny jean shorts. He has little matchstick legs. Oh. Oh, with the little turn up at the knee, right? Little jean, little turn up at the knee. He's wearing jorts. It's jorts summer. It's jorts summer, but not tight jorts. No, not tight jorts.

17:21Baseball shirt over a hoodie. He's going to the game. He's trying to keep warm. Yeah, get your head in the game. swim shorts out and about i mean if we're in australia that could pass um because like in australia the men have got their toes out in the supermarket a jumper with goggles attached what's that like skydiving goggles again another nike tech vom girls look like the nike tech yeah so is it i think it's just giving basic on the nike tech yeah it's giving bait yeah that's exactly that's even basic most common one here is skinny jeans by far i mean the skinny white leather jeans have took it took the cake for me yeah and the the what was it matching track suits i quite like a matching track suit i like you know go on asos outfit asos man matching track red sneakers yeah i don't really like that t-shirt and a blazer a cry for help aww but I'm sure Zac Efron wore that back in the day sometimes it works yeah 17 again it's definitely yeah Zac Efron wore a t-shirt and a blazer in 17 again no yeah when he was getting out of the car or was that just a jacket was that not a blazer that was a jacket he was giving Danny Zuko that day he had aviators on in that scene no did he did he whip him off yes I think he could have one second or is that the Mandela effect one second has he got aviators on he's wearing aviators and a leather jacket.

18:47Exactly as our man was doing earlier. Yeah. Maybe this was his inspo. Fuck Top Gun. It was 17 again. Look at that. Mike O'Donnell. It was a leather jacket without a lapel, you know, like the fucking... Oh my God. I'm sorry. This is one of lies. This scene changed our brain chemistry. I think for any woman who watched this film and this scene, especially taking the jump from High School Musical to this. Oh, that was huge. It was just like, wow, what is going on? Yeah. what am I feeling right now what is this emotion what are these feelings yeah is this love lost desire yeah it's all of them yeah yeah I mean the hair flick that scene I'm actually getting goosebumps head to toe because I would love to watch back the moment we watched that scene for the first time first time what was our reaction were we even taking it all in I think we were you don't forget something like that did we go to the cinema like this was probably a cinema trip we possibly went to the cinema this is a Zac Efron film straight after High School Musical Yeah, let's fucking go.

19:44Let's lock in. Let's go. It's the heartthrob of the 2010s. Still the heartthrob of now. Absolutely, Zach. Come on the pod. Let's manifest. How much could we pay Zach? Whatever he wants. Oh, we could give him a couple thousand pounds. Come on, Zach. If he needs it. We can give you 2.5k. Yeah, that sounds tempting, Zach. For an hour and 20 of your time. What about 3 ,000 pounds? Let's stop bidding. Make it five. Make it five. Now we're talking. 5K, Zach. 5K in a lovely afternoon with these two women. What's not to like? Look at me. Look at the stripes. And listen, I've heard, Zach, you dated that Australian waitress.

20:27Yeah, we've heard it. What about a podcast host? So I know you're not just dating, you know, the A-listers. Yeah, the Vanessa Hutchins. Think about it. £5 ,000. What about a G-lister? Two hours of your time. You make it worth it. Two hours of your time in this chair, whichever chair you want to sit at. Yeah? We'll get your flights as well. And I in a hotel afterwards. Okay, here we go. Here we go. £5 ,000 and your flights and accommodation. Someone listening somewhere must have a connection to Zac Efron. Yeah, we'll be one person away. Think how many years we're maybe reaching right now. We're definitely one person away.

21:05Listen, because he's got a brother. What if his brother's girlfriend's friends listens? He's got cousins. He's got family. Yeah. He's got friends. He's got people who have met him in the past. what's he up to these days yeah like where is he we've got to be one person away we have to two at least don't they say you're always like two people away from from someone back at it 14th of May filming saw it yeah you've already liked it love it he's acting he's out there look at this someone on that film set has got to have a girlfriend a daughter a cousin a second cousin of someone who was once tuned in to the girls bathroom.

21:43Look at this. Seen it. He's reclaiming that heartthrob title. He is. He's stepping back into his era. GQ, Sex Man of the Year. Let's go. Let's get it. Wow, what film is this, Zach? Let us know. We need to go to the cinema. So, as we said before, Zach, we'll see you in the cinemas if we don't see you here. Relay what his offer is. Five grand, night in a hotel, flights. Or you could stay in Sophia's spare bedroom Or you could stay in my spare bedroom. Or you could stay in Chinsley's bed. No, we can't. She's got a lot of LeBeeBee's. Let's not make Zach feel uncomfortable. Oh yeah, sorry. A night in a gorgeous hotel.

22:18I've got a spare bed room that you could have. Or a five-star, all expenses paid hotel. Yeah, you let us know and you get back to us. £5 ,000. Right. Right. So what we learned here is that there is a man out there on the streets wearing a velvet top and leather skinny ripped jeans. Stay safe out there. Yeah.

22:41just before we get into it quick disclaimer just as we are not doctors we are not professionals we do not actually know what we are talking about this is a light-hearted space okay don't take what we say literally because we could be wrong yeah and if there's anything serious if there's anything you feel like you're seriously struggling with please contact a gp a professional because that is not us we're just girls girls and boys just like you we're just trying to get through life as well not professionals enjoy the episode

23:08Okay, I feel like a couple of weeks ago, we were speaking about, or maybe it was on Patreon. Yeah. We were speaking about these Facebook pages, Are We Dating the Same Guy? Remember? Yeah. And now we've got, for our first dilemma this week, my best friend's boyfriend and baby daddy potentially caught on Are We Dating the Same Guy page. Well, I just informed you, didn't I, what happened to Wizard Liz? He did, yes. And you know what he's done now? No. he's released pictures of the messages why obviously he thinks it incriminates him less but it doesn't at all oh my god yeah and the messages are like are you still are you still in dallas i'm not sure about the look and he's being like it wasn't that yeah he's saying like you know we didn't meet but it's like he had all the intent right it was like the message was like are you still in dallas and she was like have you got a wife yeah and he was like oh it's all um it's all fake oh it's long distance and it's complicated like um she was like but you have a wife though like you're wearing a wedding ring here oh it's complicated like we're not technically married like okay you're literally incriminating yourself further and then he's like he did that and then it was like we can speak about this in person and she was like sorry i don't hang out with married men right like fucking idiot and then and then how does he think that yeah and then literally on snapchat it says landon turned on disappearing messages because then he shat himself turned on these messages so that they would delete but she'd already took pictures of them oh my god idiot yeah imagine the fear he was living in until he got caught he thought that that was better those messages weren't incriminating because they never met up but he literally said let's talk about this in person like and obviously playing down his relationship where but you only didn't because she rejected you and they're engaged oh my god you had all the intention you just got rejected in that mental yeah how does he think that that is better yeah he released the messages oh what wow yeah what wow yeah so it's giving yeah we need to fucking background check these men so for anyone who doesn't know are we dating the same guy it's pretty self-explanatory it's just like people will put a picture maybe of someone that they've matched with and be like private Facebook groups.

25:27Hey, like, I think I'm going to meet this guy on Friday. Like, what's the vibe, guys? Like, he's been a bit yada, yada, yada. And it's kind of just good to, like, has anyone had any bad experiences with this guy? Just do a bit of extra research. Yeah, just also for your own actual safety, I think. It's good to do that. So we've got here, I have a dilemma, which I would love to know your thoughts on. I met one of my now best friends at the gym over two years ago. Let's call her Susan. She is one of my friends who I've met later on in life, but she's really supported me through a shit breakup. Yeah.

25:58And I just couldn't do life without her. Yeah. But I feel really conflicted due to recent events. Right. I first met Susan at CrossFit, where her and her boyfriend, we'll call him Brian, were both members. Not long after I started, they had to go on a break. From their relationship? Yeah. Right. Susan had found out that Brian had been texting someone else. Not long after, she decided to give him another chance and put it down to him just being quite low, stressed about work, struggling financially. Like he went through a bad patch. But then it's just like, why do they need to seek validation from other women?

26:33It's so embarrassing. The fact that that is your like next solution. Like, oh, I'm not feeling good right now. So I'm going to go message someone else. Yeah. What about a walk in nature, Brian? Yeah. A fucking long, hot bath. What about a therapy session? why don't you read a book yeah why is that the solution and then managing the way to manipulate their way out of the situation by saying I was low yeah I've got financial problems I was stressed that's why I did it no you were seeking validation from another woman you've got a lovely incredible amazing woman here who's your girlfriend who could have helped you with that burden who would have actually wanted to support you because that's what a partner does fucking imbecile so Sarah's giving him another chance Since then, there have been no issues and they seem really happy.

27:24She often says maybe it made him realise what he could have lost. Yeah, fair. I can understand that. Towards the start of the year, Susan had told me that her and Brian had been trying for a baby, which was great. Fast forward a few weeks ago in Marks and Spencer's drinking a matcha. She tells me... Oh, I've still not tried the M &S matcha. We have. We had it on tour in Newcastle. Oh God, you forgot about that. I don't know how I plucked that specific memory. I remember the black and white stripy straws. memory unlocked memory unlocked yeah dome lids yeah okay memory unlocked it didn't it didn't blow my mind though no it wasn't off because it wasn't that ingrained no alright she tells me she's six weeks pregnant okay oh god what's happening oh no obviously I was so happy for her tears were shed it was a joyous time it is joyous when you're pregnant however last night I was scrolling on Facebook and what do I see a picture of Brian on Are We Dating the Same Guy West Midlands page.

28:29It's close to home for us. Oh my God. Well, we're the East. Yeah, yeah. Sounds similar. Absolutely. West Midlands is Glasgow. Yeah. It's Edinburgh babes. Yeah. But it's all right. They sound similar. Absolutely. No, it's tough. Ask Jack JBT babes. Yeah. The West Midlands is Glasgow. That's it, is it? Yeah. I was shaking. I called a mutual friend. Wait, so she was just browsing the site. She was just on Facebook. Yeah, because I guess you're part, sorry, yeah, you're part of the group. I called a mutual friend who told me that she would want to know if it was her. Okay, right. So you're thinking, okay, I've just found my friend's boyfriend on there.

29:09She's told me she's six weeks pregnant. Like, what do I do? Yada, yada, yada. But my other friend said, look, if it was us, we'd want to know. Absolutely. You want to know. So I called Susan. I told her what I'd seen and she simply asked me to send the screenshot. For reference, the post of him said, absolute definition of red flag. Lies, false intentions, sweet talker until he gets what he wants, says he wants a relationship and then lie after lie after lie. Well, yeah, because he's got a girlfriend and a baby on the way. Someone else had already commented on it, saying that all he wanted off them was a friends with benefits situation.

29:50Being an English teacher, all I could do was analyze. Absolutely. Analyze the grammar. Point evidence explained. Analyzing. Foreshadowing. Right. Character arcs. All I could do was analyze what had been put. What had been put, what does a sweet talker until he gets what he wants mean? So she analyzed the sentience. What does a sweet talker until he gets what he wants mean? So he's obviously - Let's fucking break this down. Well, he's saying everything he needs to say - What's that thing? To get in the ladies' pants. To get in the ladies' pants. Pathetic fallacy. Yeah. It's raining. He's saying you're so beautiful.

30:27Oh my God, I would have babies. You know, all the things the men say - All the earlier. All the earlier. Like they know what they're doing and then once they get what they got and then they fuck off. Okay, so Susan's asked for a screenshot. So I sent Susan the pictures and she asked me to reply to the post asking for more info. Okay, yeah, fair. the one girl who had replied to the original post said she hadn't spoken to him for a few months but the other girl's post said that she last saw brian four weeks ago oh my god so he's already out here meeting up with with with other women but had stopped replying to him because she was sick of his lies and inconsistency because obviously yeah it's probably maybe she stalked it's probably not clear he's got a girlfriend or a baby on the way on his socials she said she didn't want to get involved and she's sorry if he had a girlfriend but to prove she isn't lying she gave me some very specific information about him that wouldn't be on social media my issue is susan is being very dismissive saying that she doesn't believe it she thinks it's just some girls having a joke the times don't quite add up she's checked his phone there's nothing on it and he always has location on to me like in my opinion there's no smoke without fire i don't think that girls would simply go out of their way to make this sort of stuff up.

31:45I also don't think people would post in retrospect randomly on one day, like they'd do it in the heat of the moment. She is also really close with her sister and her sister has only just come around to being on good terms with Brian after what happened last time. So I know that she won't tell her about this because it's all going to kick off again. I'd love to know your opinion on this and I feel really conflicted. I don't want to be a bad friend. I feel like her whole pregnancy like is maybe tainted now. I know she's going to reveal to our other friends that she is pregnant in a few weeks time when we all get together how can I sit here and she while she announces this and pretends that everything's okay how can I listen to her be excited for her pregnancy when this has happened am I the one in the wrong for believing the post not at all I am off work in half term and my mind is going overdrive half term oh this is them after their park run I'm on the left Susan's on the right these are the friends gorgeous girls Susan's on the right you work out there wait susan in your lululemon bbl jacket susan does not deserve this you girls look beautiful right so you've sent the screenshots to susan she's just kind of saying i don't believe it they're making up lies she's she's she's just like she's avoiding

32:57obviously susan doesn't want to believe this at all you know one wants you don't know one wants to if anyone's being presented with this information like especially newly pregnant yeah You don't want to believe it. But I fear, as the wizard Liz did, she found out, he cheated, she's four months pregnant, got rid of that man instantly. And I fear that is the only outcome that can happen from these cheating men when you're pregnant. I know. Because the level of disrespect when you cheat when you're not pregnant is astronomical. So the level of disrespect when you're cheating with a pregnant girlfriend is absolutely unfathomable.

33:41Because it also goes to that other mindset of like, well, I can do it. I want you to not leave me. She's pregnant. Yeah. It's unfathomable, that treatment. And the only way that they're going to learn, not that you're going to go back, is leaving them. This man is, Sarah should not be with this man. What can you do though? I think it's one of those things where you've done the right, like you've done what you thought was the right thing. I think you have done the right thing. You have done the right thing. You've told Susan, like, look. I believe that this man is out there cheating. I don't think he would be on this website for no reason with different girls commenting.

34:20Like, I feel like that's not really the purpose to like make up stories on this website. Like, it's a page to like warn people. And there was two women. Yeah, you've got multiple sources. Yeah. And then you've told her. And at the end of the day, like, this is her life. She's got to make her decisions. Like maybe it's something that she's just like, look, I can't even deal with this right now. I can't even think about this right now. I've got my own shit going on. I've got a lot running through my mind because I'm just fucking found out I'm pregnant. Like I cannot deal with this man's behavior right now.

34:50Like you never know. Maybe in a few months time, she might be like, right. Okay. I've kind of settled into things a bit more. Like I'm thinking like, she's not gonna, I think just because she's brushed it under the rug to you. I don't think that means that she's brushed it under the rug to herself. it might just be like look okay like I don't want to keep talking about it like I'm thinking I'm not thinking about that right now I've got other shit on my plate like I've heard you like you've told me like I will deal with this how and when I see fit and I think as the friend like it it is tricky because you obviously want her to just be like leave him go yada yada yada but she hasn't chosen to do that and what you can't force her like she's got to make the decision that she wants to make because it's her life and she's got to live with whatever consequences happen so as long she's happy with the decisions that she's making if it was me i'd tell her sister because i feel like sisters can get sisters sometimes are the only person who could get through get through you know so like i would maybe tell her sister a lot i found this out obviously she's not told you because she knows how you're going to react but i just feel like you might be able to help handle it with the family yeah i don't know obviously she i just wouldn't go behind a pregnant on his back no i if she wasn't pregnant yeah i'm not touching a pregnant lady i know i know i'm not stressing out a pregnant lady more by going behind the back and getting all the family to turn on a partner all sarah wants is you know she thought family family is gonna be you know this gorgeous unit he's come back he's he you know he's learned that he doesn't want to lose me and it's just fucking typical like yeah who does he think he is i know like who the fuck does he think he is that you've got a pregnant girlfriend you lunatic she deserves so much better but all you can do is still be there for sarah she's got to make her own choices let her know just let her know you you do deserve better yeah and i can't get better and it will get and there are people out there who obviously we're not talking about thinking about other boyfriends or potential but you don't deserve this yeah so like remember your worth remember who you are sarah little spin remember who you are Sarah was that dramatic yeah it was perfect remember who you are Sarah and like stand on business and get rid of this man because like you will thrive on your own unfortunately well fortunately you will like who the fuck does he think he is thinks he's the king of the fucking world I know and you're out here on Facebook you can't get away with that like come on like at least what she needs to do is show him the Facebook and be like you know you're on this page yeah has she even confronted him and like people are talking like can you explain this please like people are talking about you on this page like what is it like she needs to at least tell him like i know what you're like what are you doing she needs to at least have it out with him i know but then it's just more manipulation than lies check but then at least like he would know oh shit like but they're not safe with anyone because girls are on facebook exposing me but then katherine and austin i know she knew he still went you know she confronted him he still went off gallivanting around doing doing whatever he wanted to do it's just like they won't be fearful until you leave until you actually leave and they're like oh damn she left it's true like i'm sorry you go your friend's going through that sarah so it's a hard spot for your friendship to be in when you're like i don't really think you should do that but then it's like who am i to tell you like i think maybe you've never been in her shoes it's a complicated situation and also like she's never been pregnant before this is all right it's just a lot this is to deal with that imagine her emotions right now i can only imagine the stress the anxiety that the fear also of this situation so all you can do is be there for her like you you know you have to give her some grace that she might not be like right i'm leaving tomorrow i'm out like she might she's obviously not reacted like that i think she's still processing it probably yeah it's a lot to process yeah and probably until she's got hardcore evidence of like cheating maybe until then she'll like wake up and realize that you know because you're still making excuse you know you want to make it you want to make excuses you don't want to believe it no but i hopefully will become a time where she realizes that she deserves so much more maybe that's after the baby's born you know maybe good luck because unfortunately having a child cannot fix no things can if anything it makes it worse when you haven't got a supportive partner obviously in a cheating partner it's going to make it worse.

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40:44right now we've analyzed this behavior before oh we've dealt with this live and direct in the flesh In our past lives. And it enrages me to this day. Yeah. In our past lives, obviously meaning six years ago, we have dealt with this firsthand. We've dealt with this firsthand. From both of our ex-partners. And it is way more than just the act of it. It is so much more. Right? So Sarah, it represents, is the word I was looking for, so much more. Right. You're like, what is it? What is it? There's really nothing that enrages me more than shit like this. And also there's nothing quite like it. There's nothing quite like it.

41:30There's nothing quite like it. Like. And it's something that our parents probably didn't face. It's a modern obstacle. Exactly. That's it. Angie, never heard of it. Never heard of it. She's, you know. Never heard of it. All they had out there back in the day. Meet you at the pub at seven. Was. In two weeks. Okay. All those cameras, instant flat. Disposables. Disposables.

41:55And they weren't taking OOTDs back in the day. They don't know where to post them. They weren't getting pics before they went to the pub. Where were you posting these pictures? You were putting them in a picture album and flicking through maybe once a year. Yeah, we ain't getting thirst traps on holiday. Can't show mum and dad that when we get home, can I? Yeah. It was Tenerife. If we wanted to meet a man, we've got to go out onto these streets. We can't lure them in. No, we can't sit at home and post something. I hope it reaches the right demographic. We've got to walk these streets. Yeah. Right.

42:23Okay, so let's read out what it is. Yeah, so like our parents, our grandparents, God forbid, this is... God forbid, Margot, how did she do it? If I could speak to my grandparents, they'd be perplexed by this sort of email. Like this, this will give them a heart attack. It's like a Victorian child would go into anaphylactic shock if they had to read this email. It would make no sense. What is a picture? A painting? A painting that moves. No, it doesn't move. But like, all they had was paintings. yeah well it would be my boyfriend would illustrate me if i that's what it would be if i was back in the my boyfriend wouldn't be in our family and i was yeah and someone wanted to was doing my paint i'd say go on make my tits look a bit bigger yeah shrink that i'd say go on make my hair look a bit longer come on yeah but you can't move you can't see it until it's finished yeah there you go that's what lydia says apparently we're getting all historical is it henry the eighth oh fucking hell catherine of arago and he made he like we don't actually know what it looks like because I think he made some tweaks to his pictures.

43:24With a face tune. Slay, Henry. Slay. Make me look a little bit, you know, a bit better there. A bit of muscle there. Right. So, we don't even know what we've not even said. So Sarah says, my boyfriend hates taking photos of me. That translates to, my boyfriend hates me. And you cannot convince me otherwise. You cannot. Sarah, we wouldn't even have to read this email. That is how your boyfriend feels about it. Your boyfriend hates you. Doesn't want you to shine. Doesn't want you to look gorgeous. Your boyfriend hates you. Doesn't want you to post on Instagram. Doesn't want you looking good out there.

44:01And feeling good as well. And feeling good. Doesn't want to give you a compliment. Wow, wow, babe. Wow, you look amazing. Get a picture here. Come on. Do that again. That was really good. Yes, step that way. Or just even like, this isn't even for Instagram. We're at dinner. Smile. Taking nice pictures of you for his own memories. He hates you. Like, yeah. Sorry. We could move on now, but we're going to read. but we'll talk about it for 45 minutes absolutely because there's nothing that rouses me up then this this type of shit do you remember i was going holly with my ex-boyfriend i'm so embarrassed i'm so embarrassed i'd send chintzy like through i'd be like he won't take anymore i've got these three what one's best yeah it's just like and it was the it was the daily argument the daily argument so embarrassing so embarrassing no no so embarrassing so embarrassing trying to make Who's embarrassed?

44:52I'm the one in front of the camera. I'm not embarrassed. All you've got to do is sit there and fucking tap your screen. All you've got to do is maybe fucking stand up. Yeah. I'm even making it so you don't have to stand up. You don't have to move. Exactly. So embarrassed. Are you insecure? Just tell me. Do you hate me? Just tell me. Like, do you think I deserve better? You know it. Always. Okay, so your boyfriend hates you. Always the insecureest of the insecure who won't take a picture of their girlfriend. girls i need your professional help we're locking in we're locking clocking into work i love the podcast i've only been a listener for a year but i've now listened to every single episode wow sarah fucking hell don't get sick of us i know you're doing all right i've been with my brian for almost four years oh that's four years too long yeah i am 23 and he's 24 we have grown so much together yeah because like think we've gone into our whole 20s together from moving states together.

45:48We're in America. From moving states together, getting new jobs and promotions, finishing his degree. I finished mine this year. Incredible, Sarah. And living together. He is my best friend and lover in one. Not your photographer though, is he? And that's important. Oh my God, we have a picture. He is truly an amazing man and boyfriend. Paying for my flights and holidays, as he should. Even booking me business class if I ever have to fly alone. Does he take a picture of you in business class? Because he should. Yeah. He's caring, hardworking, funny, extremely family orientated due to his culture and does a lot for me.

46:23Also, my family is obsessed with that. I mean, it sounds nice. Okay, it sounds quite nice. I'm sorry that we were so harsh, but this just type of shit enrages us. Okay, and maybe that's a Sophia and Chintzy issue. Maybe. Maybe we're projecting our past experiences onto you. But in general, but... It's like, it's not, I'm not asking for you to fucking marathon. I'm not asking for you to do anything. i'm asking i'm asking you to lift your wrists put some effort into it as well otherwise we're only going to do this for longer like get the good angle you get in a good mood the quicker this is done like this can take four minutes or we can make it last four hours you choose exactly like if if you just have a good attitude but it's like you must hate me because you don't want to see your girlfriend happy there is just one problem he hates taking photos of me and even hates taking photos with me oh so he's huffing when it's couple pic time it's couple pic and it's like we're at a wedding you're in a suit yeah come on like we're getting a match yeah my dress matches your croissage yeah your croissage if there is one thing about me i love a good pic and he should understand that.

47:33Also like, who doesn't? We're on holiday. I'm dressed up. Like look, she's giving influencers. She says, I love scrolling Pinterest, getting photo inspo to recreate. Yes. You two are actually my biggest Insta inspo. Thank you, Sarah. That's really nice. It's truly a hobby for me. Yeah. And like you enjoy it. Yeah. You love putting on your outfit, showing off to your friends. Capturing the moment. These are my hottest years. Yes. Exactly. I'm getting hot. Document them. These are my hottest years. Exactly. Like, be proud that you've got a hot girlfriend. I just don't get it. Me neither. I don't understand it at all.

48:11Because you've got a hot, sexy, stylish girlfriend and you're in Mykonos. Yeah. Make it work. Take a picture. It's time to clock in. Yeah. And I want to share that, she said. Whenever I feel cute and want a pic, he gets frustrated. Let's just hold space for the word frustrated. I'd be seeing red. I'd be seeing red. Because all you need when you want to get a nice pic is just someone who's up for it, right? And someone who's like, yeah, okay, try that. Now that looks shit. Also, as a boyfriend who loves their girlfriend, it's a small request. It's a minuscule request. Surely like me asking you to go back to the buffet to get me a coffee is more of a huff.

48:52Then stay there, babe. Can you just take a picture of me? It's mental, isn't it? It's actually mental. It's actually mental. but then it's the whole thing it's like insecure doesn't want to give you a compliment you know doesn't want to let you know you're looking good but he sounds so nice in all other areas I know but so but maybe this is his doubtful like maybe I could understand maybe if he doesn't like getting couple pics maybe he hates having his picture taken maybe it's just like he's like I really don't like it like fine okay whatever but like you could take pictures of me all day yeah should be a hobby of yours right to capture my beauty right that that should be your hobby that should be your life passion you can put it on your cv yeah so so he gets frustrated and either flat out refuses not a flat out refusal or will take them but not put any effort yeah so that's it then the vibes are down even more pissed off because he's frustrated so he carries the frustration oh this is this is a deal breaker for me sorry this is like actually like i'm getting ptsd that's the classic like oh i'm embarrassed no it makes me feel like i'm being selfish or self self-absorbed yeah that's how he's making you feel and really all you're doing is just asking for someone to asking your boyfriend who loves you to just take a photo of you and also like you're not asking him like 10 times every day even if you were i don't care but you're asking him like we're on holiday we're a nice outfit like even like come on listen to this don't i don't want to know he states he doesn't like taking photos of me yeah what's his reason come on because it ruins the moment you're ruining the moment with your fucking attitude actually yeah like the only person ruining this moment sir is you and he doesn't want to waste his time oh my god there's something about this topic that just makes me see let's hold space for wasting his time who the fuck do you think you are what on earth those are the classic excuses though yeah absolutely wasting my time we've both had you don't need a picture are like who you even posted these pictures for what are you gonna do with these yeah ruining the moment it takes two seconds there's a fucking sunset behind me yeah time is now like do you know what i mean i would like to ask her like if he compliments her me too you know because i do think it goes in with that like me too because it's that whole jealousy thing doesn't want you to feel beautiful because they want to keep you small so that you know you still want them they don't want you to feel like you could deserve better you know and it's like this whole thing he's not an instagram boyfriend that's for sure not at all but like and you're an instagram girl so we need to make this work can become an instagram boyfriend all they have to do is follow direction yeah follow direction that's all it is um and his excuse for not wanting photos with me is that he's a very private person and knows i'm going to put on socials which i would always ask his permission before posting him.

52:14Yeah, so it's like, we're at a wedding, I just want this for my memories. Yeah, maybe he works for the MI5. A new screensaver. Maybe he's James Bond. Yeah, like a new screensaver. Like, can't we just get pictures to look back on and remember this holiday? Yeah, we don't have to post it. Like, it's not, you know, like, you know. Yeah, also just like, something to show, like mum and dad when we get home. Oh, here's us, blah, blah, blah. Or to show the kids. Yeah. This is us when we're 24. maybe he's got double life um he doesn't want any incriminating evidence okay so his whole excuse is it's like instagram is a waste of time it doesn't mean anything like don't i don't even want a picture because like we i don't even post like make sure you don't post me he also said he can be a bit insecure sometimes so i do understand that and respect that oh so he's actually said i am insecure i guess i just want your advice on how i can get him to take photos of me what i can say to him to get him to enjoy helping me out exactly like that's what it is like just help me out i know sophia's brian puts in the work he does because your holiday picks a gorge thank you and that is i'll pass that and that is good attitude good and eagerness to please and to help also it's quite simple because that's what you want to do for your girlfriend no and it's like a boyfriend who doesn't want to please or help or assist their girlfriend because when you boil it down what do you want when you take why are you with me then when you take the photo element out of it yeah yeah yeah all you're doing is asking your boyfriend for help with something for a favor you're asking him like can you put the suitcase up because it's too hot can you do this because it's blah blah yeah it's just that you can pick me up from if i could do this without you i would but like i need two people here i haven't got a fucking arm coming out my bum hole that loops around that can go over there to take the picture that i can also make invisible on my fucking pics and retouch yeah so like i just need some help yeah and he's saying no i don't want to help you no it's just like you saying can you help me bring this suitcase upstairs no no do it yourself no do it yourself it's a waste of time it's going to ruin my moment i'm watching the tv it's exactly the same yeah a waste of my time that's just rude also if you guys have any tips on taking photos by yourself no no no no there's a whole human there's a whole human with two hands with two hands fingers hopefully yeah even if he's got even if he's got two three fingers on each hand he can take a picture i'm sure i'm sure i'm sure of it even if he had one hand i'm sure he'd be able to take a picture he'd figure it out even if he had no arms and he had two feet he could still take a picture with his feet yeah little toes and you and so he's probably saying get them on your own how?

55:01one could only take so many selfies do you expect me to grow a tail that has fingers? like like do you want me to clone myself? I don't have too many friends in the city I live in all of my close girlfriends live really far away I need content so like Saturday morning let's go cafe you're gonna snap me on the way babes exactly it's not hard it's not hard it's like I've already scattered out the location I already know what angle I want I know what I'm wearing I already know where I want it like I'm just gonna walk back and forth for fucking two minutes and that's it done phones away we have a trip planned to Egypt and Turkey at the end of the year like come on and I want the best pics possible so your advice would mean the world to make pics attached of some rare photos of us together a very stressed Sarah like Brian because you know what my thing is wait let's look at the culprit it i mean he looks friendly but obviously he does look friendly he can't lear his in with his with his friendly smile no like but he's sorry you're quite nice yeah sorry you're beautiful oh here i can see why you want oh here he is absolutely this man right your boyfriend i don't understand how he hasn't put the pieces together of you know this is just giving like happy wife happy life okay does he not see that when you get a nice pic you're like oh great thank you so much like love you like I'm in a great mood now because like yeah I've got the shot of my holiday yeah and does he then not realize that when like he's so aggy and won't get a nice pic you're then miserable does he just not think like oh yes Sarah looks great let's go go go go go she's gonna love this like yeah but then it's like it's so much more than the refusal of taking the picture now because now you're making me feel like every time I'm like I'm getting ready I'm like oh I really want a picture here like do you hate me why don't you want to help me out why don't you want to do a favor for me I do so much for you if you ask me to go grab you this or you know yeah you know go to the shops and just grab you something like I always want to do something for you because I love you and I want to help you so why doesn't he want to help me out like it's so much more than just like taking a picture don't want to take a pic right now like yeah i would be sat there like does this man hate me like he must hate me he must hate me we've both experienced insecurities there's nothing worse no i had it so bad yeah like just like it drives you crazy and i think it's even worse when you have some followers i do yeah because it it's like a they don't want you to what are the words they don't want you to build more of a platform it's like they want to keep just don't want to help they don't want to help they don't want to help you in any aspect of your career or anything yeah and it's like oh my god you're just so you need to say to him so i think we need to get through to him like this is actually way more than i would just say to him like I don't know why you always make it a problem like it's really not a problem like it's making me question all I'm asking is like just for you to like take a nice picture of me like when I've like made an effort and like got my nice dress on for the evening like I just like you to take a picture of me like I don't know why this is kind of like a reoccurring problem for us like I just don't really understand and I think it's such a shame yeah that you get such a bad attitude around this like tiny task it's like why like i just want you to support me for five minutes and you know take a picture of me at the beach but also like does he not walk around and see all the boyfriends on holiday taking pictures of their girlfriends yeah but they're probably secure men who want to take pictures of their girlfriends but then is he just not like he's he's oh i should do it as well then no he doesn't want you to shine he doesn't want you to like you go to any restaurant it's boys on the chairs girls on the benches boys snapping like this any holiday spot everyone's doing it there's a sunset yeah the boys are up the boys are up we're going over there yeah and they're clocked into work but like so why is your boyfriend not like oh come on then he's insecure he doesn't want you to post he doesn't want you to feel beautiful he doesn't want you to shine he doesn't want you to get to post he doesn't want you to feel beautiful I fear that is it and he doesn't want to help you out like if you're asking your boyfriend him for a favour and he's huffing.

59:29That's what I mean. Like take the photo out of it. Like ultimately you are just asking him to do something for you. Like imagine, like it's the same as like it's the morning. Like you've got to leave in 15 minutes. You're rushing. You've got to go to work. Yeah. You said, oh Brian, could you please just make me my ice drink in my to-go cop? Yeah. I really appreciate it. I'm really just frazzled with this. No, I'm wasting my time. Why am I going to do that? That's exactly what that is. Let's give them other examples. It's just like They've got these excuses that like, it's a picture. Oh, Instagram doesn't matter.

59:59Yeah, the fact that it's a picture and it's of you. And it's like, oh. And it's like, they think it, whatever. But it's exactly that. Oh, waste of my time. It's the same thing. Like, take the photo out of it. It's the same thing. Or it's this. I've had a long day at work. You know, I've run over time. It's like, I'm coming home. Could you go to the shops on the way home and grab something? I forgot. It's past half eight. You know, he's been at home since six. And like, I don't know what I'm having to do now. Could you put the oven on? babe like could you just like put like some chicken gouges on in in chicken nuggets and smiley faces some chicken nuggets and smiley faces and maybe like cook me some baked beans just for when i better get back i'm starving i had the tiny good tea i'm yeah craving i'm starving like i've had you know a bad day you know sarah was given and he's like no i want you to make that nice chili when you get home yeah he said oh no i'm wasting my time it's exactly what that is it's like well you're a waste of space actually because if you're not helping me out in any aspects of my life what the hell are you here for what do we do then i think next time it happens strike where the iron's hot go like this needs to change this is really unattractive this is so much more than you just go what the hell's up with you yeah like this is really unattractive i think i might go and find a boyfriend who wants to take me some pictures i would do you know what i would say i want to ask her if he if he compliments her because i feel like if she's like yeah no i he doesn't tell me i'm beautiful and stuff it honestly goes hand in hand because they don't want you to shine it's like they don't want to big you up and make you feel beautiful because then you realize that oh i can do better than this loser and leave that's exactly it that is the psychology but it's your man compliments that go oh my god you're so beautiful oh my god look how gorgeous my girlfriend is and it's like this they want you to feel beautiful but it's such a shame that everything else is so great like great relationship best friends like families love him like he sounds like he really takes care of you.

1:01:46Like it doesn't, the two don't really go hand in hand. It's because usually like the boyfriends who don't want to take pictures of you are the nasty, shitty boyfriends. Not usually the great, lovely boyfriends. But yeah, a man can still be a loser even if he's buying you loads of stuff and upgrading your flights. Do you know what I mean? Unfortunately. I think all you can do is maybe let him know how much, how important this is to you and don't let him make you feel like it's a stupid thing to like care about. this is making me doubt you as a person like let him know the severity yeah and then hopefully he would then come correct and be like oh really like i didn't realize it was that thing like of course like okay like yeah and maybe that you're giving him the opportunity then to change his attitude like it's five minutes of your time if that please but like otherwise it's like why do you actually want to fall out about this like why are you fighting me on this this is such an easy fix for you this is not this is the easiest thing you could do for me this is a this is an honor yeah this is this is so why are you trying to fight me you should take pleasure in this you've got a beautiful girlfriend you're on holiday she wants a picture this is an honor to be an instagram boyfriend bow down like take take take it in take pride in your role take seriously your work and your work like it's mental it's actually mental like have a serious conversation and also maybe have a conversation like ahead of time maybe not so in the moment of like can you take a pic no oh bad mood like i'm talking like before we go on holiday you're gonna have this i need to chat to you and we're gonna have a new attitude and because i've been there it ruins holidays it ruins trips and it's like this is so dumb because you're making me feel like i'm trying i'm being really vain and being really stupid and like an idiot and asking for so much when really this is such an easy fix from you this does not even have to be an issue but now thanks to your attitude you've made it one but you're telling me it's wasting your time it's maybe 15 minutes out of your holiday in total so yeah he needs to switch up otherwise you'll find someone who does want to take pictures of you.

1:03:57And if while you're having that conversation, it's more trying to manipulate, gaslight, flip it on you. Why do you even need pictures? You don't need to be posted on Instagram. You shouldn't be wearing that for Instagram. You know, shit like that. Then alarm bells need to bing, bing, bing, bing, ling, ling. Bing-a-ling. Bing-a-ling. Because that's like controlling weird, like, isolating behavior now. Good luck. I hope you get some nice pics. Brian, you ain't getting Star of the Week. No fucking chance you get in Star of the Week. Actually, you are banned from Star of the Week. You're banished.

1:04:29Even if you fix up on this photo front, the fact that she's even having to email in about this. Sarah, seriously keep us posted. Yeah. She's going to Egypt and Turkey at the end of the year. Yeah, sorry. I thought it was Portugal. We will hold out to see the images. This is important. Or just break up with them and find a new boyfriend before them and take him. Seriously. And then you'll get some good content. I'm not joking. You'll get candies that you didn't even ask for. That's what you need. Or just go on your own and take your tripod. That'd be more as well. bluetooth clicker but i don't want you doing that when you've got a boyfriend who should be willing to help like silly okay right one more here for long to take a deep breath

1:05:12final point god forbid it was a fucking canon g7x like i'm only asking you to use the iphone a cat and cheese of an ex also like what about our wedding day then we're not getting any pics on that day either I can't even what about our child's first birthday when she's blowing out her candles well not the first one but you know I know I can't maybe the third okay we've got here the end is near you just put a gravestone emoji okay hi girls we've got Elvis writing in greetings from Las Vegas viva Elvis Las Vegas Trisha's. So. Elvie. Girl, right? Elvis. Sorry, girl. Elvis. This is actual Elvis. Her name's Elvis.

1:05:57No. Oh, she was writing in from Las Vegas. Oh, you just said that. Sorry. I was like, cool name. That's okay. It is such a cool name. This story begins with me and my high school best friend. Let's call him Peter. Peter Malark. Go with Brian. What do we? Do we have a Brian in this? Oh, maybe she's new. Let's stick to Peter then. Okay. Something new, it's quite nice. District 12, let's go. We were best friends since he moved from Germany in his sophomore year. I was a freshman. Imagine growing up in Las Vegas and like, yeah, I go to school in Las Vegas. Tana Mongeau, cool. Did she grow up in Las Vegas?

1:06:32Yeah. I didn't know that. We were strictly platonic for four years. People would always tell us we would end up together and we would hit them with a, ooh, no, we're more like siblings. Classic. We moved in together to our first apartment right after my graduation. I felt myself starting catching feelings but I would pretend I didn't because I didn't want to destroy our friendship Taylor's oldest time we had jokingly gone out to dinner and he told the waitress it was our anniversary it was very much like that for an entire year until one night we had our friends over we all had a few drinks and we were just so close yep one by one a lot of our friends left and then it was just the two of us And let's just say the rest was history.

1:07:17That's a beautiful friends to lovers story. Obviously things are about to take a turn, but... We are now nine years in with a two-year-old daughter to prove it. He is my person. The person I laugh uncontrollably with, the person I cry to when I feel like my life is falling apart, and the person that helps me dust myself off and pick myself up. But we can't forget about the gravestone. I truly thought he was the per - oh, that was past tense. I truly thought he was the person I would spend the rest of my life with. Let's hold space for thought. I thought he was. Short story long, the problem is he has not proposed.

1:08:00Right. Yeah. Nine years is quite a long time. Nine years is a long time. We have had countless conversations about how I want to get married and how important it is for me. He always says, you know, he'd like to get married as well. And sometimes, you know, he even is the one to bring it up. When I ask him why he hasn't proposed, his answer is always, I want to have enough money to give you the ring you deserve and the wedding we both want. Which is a valid excuse. Which I feel like is a reasonable excuse, except he could have saved up for it by now. Like he's had enough time. It's been nine years.

1:08:40Yeah. also we have a shared bank account like i know how much this man is making right okay also like i imagine you probably mentioned to hit it to him like four years ago you could have been saving for four years well you've got a two-year-old daughter at least yeah so if you took it seriously like you know if you really wanted to i don't know it might sound vague but me having to nag about it makes it feel like it's not something he wants i tell him about how much it sucks to have to explain to people why he's not proposed. It makes me feel like he doesn't actually want to marry me. Like there's something wrong with me.

1:09:13I can't help but grow resentful. And I've caught myself kind of trying to push my feelings for him away. I've even checked his phone to see if he might be talking to someone else, but his good DMs could not be any drier. I had originally set a cutoff date where if he did not propose by then, I would break up with him. This was last December. but with the holidays I thought it would be better to push it to January so it's been half a year I don't think you told him about that cut off date that was just a date you set in your mind and that's like when you set a date to like break up with your boyfriend as well it's like I'll give it six months you know I've sent him pictures of the ring that I want the end of this trip right they're going on a trip the end of this trip will be my new cut off date I would never give him an ultimatum or threaten him with breaking up but maybe I should like am I wrong how do I even approach it since we have a child together I love him I'm in love with him I really wouldn't want to be with anybody else I just don't think it's healthy for my self-esteem or our relationship I'd appreciate any advice oh my god look at their baby girl oh my god she's so cute you're not ready

1:10:28oh my god oh my gosh she's giving tape mcrae sarah let me look at let me look at that again oh sarah gorgeous and this is brian like brian come on man this is father of our child oh he looks like you look like husband material brian like let's get it down right so we've got so yeah she doesn't want to offer an ultimatum because you're gonna feel like you're forcing him or like I mean then I guess then it's real yes you know and you have to stick to it if I'm giving you an ultimatum and you genuinely don't propose I have to walk away I actually have to stand my word my word and walk away otherwise I'm just a twat like I've given you an ultimatum and I've stayed yeah and you're gonna laugh at me and you're gonna laugh and then you're never gonna propose exactly and I'm just empty threats.

1:11:24So you've got the ultimatum in your head. Well, yeah, if you're not feeling like this, I think you're valid. I think you've expressed it many times. It's kind of excuse, excuse, excuse. I think it's just that basic thing of like, when you're in a long-term relationship, like you guys are a family, you literally have a child. Like you just, you just need to have these conversations and be on the same page. Like, even if it's about like, oh, how long do we think we're going to live in this house for? Where do we want to live? Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Like these are just normal conversations that it sounds like you guys talk about getting married and getting whatever.

1:12:01And it's like, you know, we should ask him like, when do you see us getting married? Like, when would you like to do that for us? Like all this talk about like, because at the end of the day, I'd rather actually - I feel he's just saying like, oh, like when the time is right, like when my money's right. I feel that is how he's answering the question. Yeah, I know. Just like kind of being like, you know, you know, when I've got, you know that much money absolutely and it's like i've got x amount or maybe maybe probably not even saying amount it's probably just saying yeah when the time's right when the money's right well i'm gonna need some more details like yeah like because the thing is it's like when you maybe save up you can always think oh well i'll save up more and more you know it's like there's never going to be you don't have to propose to me with you know the ultimate dream girl ring like i just want to marry you wedding budget you could be engaged for three years i don't mind upgrading my ring in five years time you know that's quite 10 years time you know that's quite a nice thing to do upgrade the ring get a new ring like my mom's like added bands and like on anniversaries like got a new you know like that's quite a nice thing to do so I just think like at the end this is just something that you guys are on the same page on and I don't think like the relationship is doomed like I feel like you guys are probably very happy for the most part like you've got your lovely little family but then in and it's like I just need you to pull your finger out your ass It's like, maybe he's just very comfortable.

1:13:20Maybe he thinks like, oh, we've got kids now. Like, you know, like it's not really top. Like getting married and a wedding is not his number one priority, is it? He wants to spend his money on other things. Maybe things for you as a couple, like maybe houses or whatever, or holidays for your family or whatever. And like, that's just not number one, but it's number one for you. So you guys just need to get on the same page about this because - I think you're within your, I mean, what are you going to do that i mean at the end of the holiday so but she sounds like she's already she's detaching that's not normal to say to us that like i'm trying to stop my feelings like i'm i'm now down when we're nine years cheating he's obviously really trying to avoid this and he's actually really trying to cut corners yeah he doesn't want to do it it's quite it's quite clear to like his family about it maybe it's probably not spoken about maybe maybe like well no she says people ask when's he gonna do it when do it but it's like i'm embarrassed now well he's it's like people are watching well he's really trying to dodge it so it's just like yeah now you're doubting yourself and i don't like that yeah like now i'm especially when you know like i really want this yeah now you're thinking is he up to no good is he like your future husband or your boyfriend he should not be making you feel like that no like fingers crossed so i wonder how long these conversations have been going on for how long has he been putting it off because he's not saying that he doesn't want you know he's not which is good but he's not acting but you don't want to wait five more years you want it within this like this year maybe you are gonna have to give him an ultimatum well she has in her head maybe she needs to say it yeah but she she doesn't want to but yeah so but i imagine she's gonna leave when he doesn't after this holiday like that sounds like she's given the ultimatum to him but not verbally but not verbally yeah and all power to you sarah i mean let's know how it goes please let us know you we'll either open that email and there's a big fat rock and your finger will go oh he did it or if you had to leave you had to leave you had to do what you had to do because he wasn't listening to you and he didn't want the same things as you ultimately I guess I'd love to get into his head yeah like I'd love to know like I'm hoping that it's just not that I'm hoping but like I really hope that this is just like genuine like laziness not really taking it that seriously as opposed to like this man actually does not want to spend the rest of his life with you yeah but I guess I guess we'll never know well hopefully we know so I mean how many more conversations can we have about this like you know yeah how many more times do I have to say like I want this I don't want to keep asking this year yeah you know time is now and I don't want to be yeah and it's like if you don't want to then I might have to go find someone who does want to unfortunately you could be engaged you know you could someone else yeah like you could make me laugh as much as you can and I love laughing with you matey but I want to get married to you and if you're like resisting that then you could just put the wheels in motion yourself and just book a venue and just get going just say yeah we're getting married now we're getting married next year I'm not waiting for you anymore yeah you could say that but then if that's not what you want Sarah if that's not how you want things it's not the dream is it if that's not how you want to go about things it's not the most romantic you know it is smart lock the venue down yeah lock in that plaza a couple years ahead I locked down the plaza but I do wonder what he's going through his head.

1:16:43Me too. I hope it's just it's not his priority as opposed to him not him actually like wanting to be with you. Yes. But it's like, I don't like that now you're thinking he doesn't want to be with you. Yeah. You know, it's like, we shouldn't be feeling that. Your partner should not be making you feel like that. You know? Good luck, Sarah. I fear we need our star of the week. Let's get up our star of the week and let's feel some happiness. stick for the second half of the week. Absolutely. Okay. Our star of the week this week, this is such a lovely story. So Amelia has wrote in and she said, I would like to nominate my Brian, Sam, the star of the week this week.

1:17:28Me and Sam have been together for five years and we've just moved into our first home October last year. Since moving out, I have really missed my family dog and found it very lonely since Sam works long hours and I work at home most of the time. My reason for nominating him for Star of the Week is that Sam has got us a puppy to keep me company, which I am beyond excited about. Look at their little dog. Let me see. Look at him. Oh my God, my belly's rumbling. I think he's a Labradoodle. Oh my God, a little fluffy puppy. Please call it Brian. Oh my God, yes. It's a collaboration. maybe it's a girl oh wow Sam's out here buying Amelia a puppy Brie this is your first child guys you're gonna be a family no that's really lovely he doesn't want you to feel lonely got you some company thank you Sam what a gem thank you Sam thank you Amelia round of applause for star of the week and on that note oh a quote a quote right I'm gonna look up ultimatum quotes I mean this is gonna break some hearts oh I found a nice one.

1:18:37Okay, go on. This isn't really relevant to any specific dilemma, but it's just a lovely thing. Today, I learned about a term called a glimmer, which is the opposite of a trigger. Glimmers are those moments in the day that make you feel joy, happiness, peace, or gratitude. Once you train your brain to be on the lookout for glimmers, these tiny moments will appear more and more. Aww. Glimmers. I love that. I mean yeah this one's doom and gloom I mean oh god okay I was trying to wind up the vibes for the end of the air but that's okay apparently this is a quote from Mandy Hale this is Mandy's perspective on the ultimatum alright Mandy Mandy said quite simply the person you're meant to be with will never have to be chased begged or given an ultimatum oh god Mandy's hitting the home truth isn't she for our poor Sarah but she's not offered the ultimatum yet let's look for those glimmers alright guys alright thank you so much for being here happy Wednesday if you would like a bonus episode you can get them every single Monday over on Patreon yes you can and you can email your dilemmas and your star of the week entries to hello at thegirlsbathroom.com you can follow us on Instagram TikTok and on YouTube we love you have a good week bye bye

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