Boy Talk: I planned our wedding…but he says we are just smashing?!

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0:34El cáncer de colon tocó de cerca a mi familia y me enseñó que detectarlo a tiempo puede marcar una gran diferencia. Así que hablemos de lo que no se habla. Por eso es que estoy colaborando con ColoGuard para decirte que si tienes 45 años o más y tienes un riesgo promedio, pregúntale a tu profesional de la salud si ColoGuard es adecuado para ti. Es una prueba que puedes usar en casa y detecta el 95 % de los cánceres de colon. Obtén más información en coloGuard.com diagonal prueba. The ColoGuard test is designed to detect the cancer colorectal in adults of 45 years or more with a average risk. Visit ColoGuard.com to get more information.

1:09Only with a medical recital. Make the test test is a love for you and your family.

1:30so we should make a compilation of us it's a new year happy new because it always feels like it's the new year this little gig we've got going on this little gig i want to say it was 20 2012 what 2019 2019 so we would have gone into 2020 on a pandemic who remembers those days season three we used to do seasons yeah you're lucky we don't take breaks You're lucky. I hope you've realised that. You know, you've all been off this Christmas week. We've been here. Look at us, January 1st. And we are here. Sorry, I'm just looking at my dog. Always alert as a mother. You never rest. She's never clocked off.

2:12You actually don't. It's like this. I can only imagine what it would be like with an actual child that you've birthed. Like the anxiety. And that you've grown inside you as well for like 10 months. The anxiety of like making sure their health is all right. The anxiety of just making sure that they're alive and well. We're experiencing it firsthand with Blueberry, aren't we? I know, but it will only be tenfold when it's a real child. The helicopter parents have arrived. well we're oh that's what we're trying not to be i know but yeah it's just gonna happen i think it's like what are you sniffing babe what are you licking and sniffing there she's all right she can yeah you just that's how she's exploring the whole world it's her senses this is how she learns you know we all had to stick our hand in a few fires to realize they were hot as children drink a bit of matcha from the top of that anyway we are here it's january 7th we are happy january it's a new year it's 2026 we're still on tease crikey crikey gosh 2026 so our babies like pretend my child will probably be born in like 2030 something well they could yeah it could be a crazy year crazier things have happened yeah that's true you could be popping one out in november oh god and who with the chef downstairs i guess or harry styles he's in love he's in love with zoe well we're happy for them of course but yeah crazy things happen who knows well yeah it's like my niece she's gonna say yeah i was born in 2025 like how crazy is that and that all her sound like 1997 yeah sorry just looking at my dog yeah that's gonna sound like now you know how Oh, like for us, like 1997.

4:02We're now born in the 1990s. Hundreds. We were born in the 1900s. It sounds like the Victorian age. It does. It still freaks me out that people who were born in the 2000s are going to be 26 this year. Because like, I'm 24. So how does that make sense? Lydia. Crazy. 26. Mariana. And Mariana's an adult. She's got a job. She's got a boyfriend. And she's supposed to be 14. Mariana's got a boyfriend. Is she going to be angry at you for saying that? No, I'm not giving any details away. I couldn't say that. Come on, I'm quite excited about it. Just observe a few siblings, you know, don't mention me. But yeah, I'm very happy that it's a new year.

4:43Me too. I want us all to go into the new year. I want us all to try and enjoy January to the best of our abilities. Absolutely, Sophia, I agree. And I think that means, it means doing vision boards. Hear, hear. Even just a Pinterest board. I kind of want to start journaling. That would be nice. I went for a phase of journaling. Yeah, did you enjoy it? I did. Sometimes it's needed in times of life. I feel like it would just be quite a therapeutic thing to do. To get into that real habit of like journaling. And also it's good to get around your thoughts and feelings. But how much do I journal every day?

5:18Like what do I do? You could do it once a week, every Sunday. There's no rules to journal. A couple lines here and there. Yeah. Well, you could get the five line a day. What's it? The line a day. Mimi and Alex shout out shout out the e-cons who are no longer together the icons absolutely yeah who invented the line five minute journal five minute journal what? five minute journal five minute journal what's the line a day that's a different one could be theirs they might have to the graphic right yeah but shout out Mimi and Alex shout out shout out looks hair looks hair looksy hair shout out god that was a time to be alive and I've seen Alex e-con twice this year in the flash this is very niche Last year.

5:58Last year, of course. Come on, get it right, 2026. Get it right, get in the mind frame. But yeah, Alex Econ in the front. People will be like, who is that? I mean, guess who we saw in the flesh this morning. Guess who we started our 2026 with. Yeah, guess. Peter Andre. Starting as we mean to go on, I guess. Walk right past us with the celeb sightings. Is that a sign we're going to be back in Australia? Oh, she's got it. Oh, she's got it. I've got to think smart about these signs. I feel like it'd be quite a good time, like... To go to see a psychic, start of the year. Yeah. You know, what's in store for me, what can I expect?

6:31What can I expect? Or go to the priest. Or the priest, yeah. Whatever. Do a confession like we did when we were 10 years old in those boxes. I slap my sister across the face. I confess, Father. Hail Mary, full of grace, the Lord is with thee. Blessed are thou, woman, and blessed are the fruit of life through Jesus. Holy Mary, Mother of God. Isn't it crazy that we just know those prayers? Yeah, but I think I just said it wrong. No. Hail Mary, full of grace, the Lord is with thee. bless them and blesses the fruit of thy womb jesus holy mary mother of grace pray for us in us now at the age of our death amen it is crazy though because you know what i was thinking about the other day but every five years he's got the whole world yeah but remember when it was like they've changed the language they've changed the prayers what when it was like they've changed the prayers no yeah but like they've changed a few lines of prayers yeah well i remember like masses new masses changed i remember we went to go to different schools and did their church and it was like oh they've got different lyrics to us like they're singing different hymns to us like what hymns this we don't sing this one we don't sing this hymn we sing he's got the little tiny baby in his hands he's got the little tiny baby we should go to church we should what's another the hymn um uh uh gloria gloria oh don't clap oh god in ex chelsea say you what does that mean it's not say you're in ex chelsea say you what's another one Lord God heavenly king glory to us all we raise you up we give you thanks to sing a song of praise do do do do Gloria Gloria good time what was that one I was just singing what was the other hymns then there was the more serious hymns yeah because that was always the fun one that we didn't get to do all the time Amazing grace No, that wasn't a classic The sound Shepherd me, oh God We never Hallelujah, hallelujah Hallelujah, hallelujah Praise be the Lord Praise be the Lord Hallelujah Give thanks to the risen Lord We didn't sing that one We didn't sing that one But yeah, God Well, those are the classics Time to be alive You've never been to church, Blueberry Maybe we should take you and get you blessed get her baptised is that allowed?

9:07I guess some people must be having their dogs in the face but we could just at least get some some holy water and sprinkle it on her when she sins blessed be thee blueberry blessed be our my father blessed is the fruit of thy womb Jesus holy Mary mother of God it's quite good to start the year with some prayers it actually is it actually is it is give thanks we go into January With peace. And faith. And Jesus. Absolutely. Okay. And what was our question of the week this January to set us into the new year? We're going to go into the year here. We've got the year here. The year here. What's the weirdest compliment you've ever received?

9:49Weirdest. Weirdest. I mean, it's not really the virus we should be setting off into January. Well, you know, we just hope we'll get a lot of compliments this year. That's true. Of course. Let's put that spin on it. So weirdest compliment. Have you ever received a weird compliment?

10:07Let's see. You know, you get people complimenting your hairline. That's quite nice. I like that. Although I wouldn't say I've got a strong hairline, but I did. You've got a stronger one than me. Really? You've got very strong hairline. No. Yeah. Really? Yeah. Oh, thank you. You're welcome. We get, you guys look much better in person. I get that one anyway. Yeah. Just letting you guys know that. That's what people say about us. Yeah, because these angles, you know, sometimes they can be quite... They're not forgiving. They're very unforgiving. You know, the camera... Or it's like, oh, you're much smaller in person.

10:40Smaller and better in person, we generally get. Which is always nice to hear. Always nice. But then it's like, okay, so we must look shit. Yeah, it's like you've obviously seen a clip of me. Yeah, you almost thought of fucking dreadful. And it's just like, oh God. Like I'm trying to find a husband, you know, at some point. Well, we've got here, you're lucky, you're pretty. Okay. Well, that means that he's saying that... They're saying that we're dumb then. You're actually not bitchy at all. Well, I'll take that one. Your new lips are bad. How is that a compliment? Well, that's not a compliment.

11:11But that's saying that they were better before. Right. So I think that's why it's... Like go back, you know, to what she's in natural state. Undone. You'd look good on a scooter. Hmm. Niche. I mean, bring back Heelys in 2026. Think how much quicker we could get around if we were still wearing Heelys to this day. I couldn't do them though. what I love fairfaxer I can't ice skate I can't heeling my dad would take us to be in queue to blow off some steam in the evening to go on our heelies around that because it just had the best floor for heelies but then they were banning them everywhere you have to be really careful they're very dangerous I think one girl on my street obviously it's a hill zoomed all the way down and almost got hit by a car oh my god because obviously it's that main road kind of thing it's that steep hill you could just zoom out and then many bike crashes down when I came to yours in the snow yeah in that micro shook the life out of me yeah so really zahara hazard you have the nicest nail beds it's a really nice compliment actually i really like that yeah that is a nice compliment you've got the most attractive neck oh i'd love that one actually i like that that's really nice yeah decolletage you look like an espresso martini everyone loves an espresso martini that's a crowd pleaser very sophisticated um that my quads are longer than my calves okay observant okay nice obviously a muscle muscle police yeah maybe that was a pt compliment you know probably you have nice earlobes i'd like that one i get that i think mine are quite nice essentially.

12:48You have the nicest Tupperware ever. Wow. Great compliment. I like that. I would like the compliment of you make a nice matcha. Yes. You do make a nice matcha. Thank you. Yeah. Nice belly button. Nice. Nice. That's a good one. Nice. You look like a cute chipmunk. Okay. I'll take it. There's worse animals to be compared to. That I'm really good at the phonetic alphabet? What? Abba, curda, like the kid alphabet. No, isn't that when you go M for mice, P for poo? Just calling in Is that the phonetic alphabet? Romeo, Oliver, Can you just say that in phonetics? Yeah, it's Z for xylophone. Romeo, Oliver, zebra, I'm not sure on that one.

13:32What's S? S for substance. I just make it up on the phone. Yeah, I think that's four. S for sandy. Sugar, sugar, sugar. I know that's four. Because my mum does them. Does she? I think so. My mum makes them up. H for... G for Gary. S for... G for garage. S for... Solar system. P for plenty. B for blueberry. Oh no, she's awake. You look like Cindy Lou. Oh, goals. Goals, I think. Model icon. Goals. Princess. That my eyebrows always look moisturized. That's a nice one. That's a nice one. Nice. You would look good bold. Wow. I mean, you've got to have, you've got to be great to look good bold. That's a phenomenal compliment.

14:26That means you're symmetrical. Yeah. It means everything. It means your face is strong. You don't need hair. You don't need hair to hide behind. My nan told me I look like Harry Styles and he is beautiful. Okay, yeah. I would take that too. Yeah, I would take that. Well, it means you look like Gemma Stiles, which is a big compliment. A big compliment. That's a good point. And finally, you have nice size nostrils. Nice. Nice. Yeah. Yeah, I like that. I'll take that. Yeah. I would take that too. All right, well, shall we dive into the inbox? Yeah, let's dive in. Happy January, folks. Absolutely.

15:04Just before we get into it, quick disclaimer. We are not doctors. We are not professionals. We do not actually know what we are talking about. It's a light-hearted space. Okay. Don't take what we say literally because we could be wrong. Yeah. And if there's anything serious, if there's anything you feel like you're seriously struggling with, please contact a GP, a professional, because that is not us. We're just girls, girls and boys just like you, you know? We're just trying to get through life as well. Not professionals. Enjoy the episode.

15:31We are starting this week in January, as we mean to go on. And what we'd always like more of, we have a dilemma from O 'Brien. Okay. Always special Always rare Always an honour And you know Brian's been thinking a lot Over Christmas and the new year And he's thinking about Opening dialogue with his ex He's asking us if he should do it Okay Brian here Should I open dialogue with my ex? Okay Well we need a lot of context I mean listen to this Brian Brian here Who started off pretending Not to listen to my girlfriend's podcast To a fully fledged solo listener Big fan We even came to see you guys in London.

16:12Thank you, Brian. Oh, and since we've had a breakup. Thank you for being here today. Me and my girlfriend have been... Oh, no. Okay, hang on. We're not together anymore, right? Unless he has got a girlfriend and he's thinking about his ex. Oh, Brian. This is not how we want to start the year, I fear. Me and my girlfriend have been together for a little over two years after meeting at uni. We have had such a fun relationship and she means the world to me. She's so patient, especially at the beginning of our relationship I suffered a really bad injury And she was really there to support me on my rehab journey So big shout out to her Okay, I'm getting a bit concerned here, Brian In my previous relationship, I was not a very good partner We got together during sixth form, college And continued our relationship through to when I went to uni She was the year below me And so our lives were pretty separated as she was still at college and I was also really struggling with my mental health at this time.

17:09As a trans man, going to a new environment is an incredibly stress-inducing process. I was trying to find my feet at uni, which is a very spontaneous time and plans would pop up left, right and center. During this, I struggled to prioritize her and her feelings and would often cancel plans last minute or only see her when it suited me. Even sometimes she would come all the way to see me and i would go on a night out and leave her in my uni room brian brian that's brian that is horrendous but he recognizes that it was bad behavior yeah that's growth despite being open with her about this she continued to stay with me and i took that as a bit of a green light to continue doing what i was doing as there weren't any repercussions for my actions right you see everyone take note see if we let bad behavior slide they literally know that they can keep doing anyway with it like they know what they're doing we broke up and got back together during our time but in total our relationship was around two or three years we ended things when she finally asked me if i could ever make her a priority and my answer was no this is this is savage after this i met my girlfriend who as i said is an incredible individual and we have a great energy in our relationship she's genuinely my best friend okay okay i think i know what's going on here however my dilemma is that i have been getting some overwhelming waves of guilt the past few months about how i treated my ex okay and i am really struggling to process and want some advice on the best way to deal with it so you don't want to get back no this is good because i fear she would not want that anyway should i get in contact with her and have a conversation face to face where i can lay everything out and apologize or should i just leave it in the past i have mentioned to my girlfriend um about all of this and she has said that if i felt it was the right thing she would support my decision as far as i'm aware my now ex is in another relationship i also know that she has been looking at my tiktok account as i can see on the footprint section even as recently as the other day what the hell we need to all be careful yeah we need to all be careful you can see who's viewed your tiktok profile oh my god didn't know i think yeah something new already yeah it's just begun we all do need to be careful that when stalking and also still follows my friend's accounts um so i'm wondering if maybe it might help her to move on if she is still if she's still if she is still holds on to any trauma if she's still holding on to any trauma right oh this is the two of them this is the new couple a guilt riddled brian this is the new couple this is brian with his girlfriend currently he's just put pics below all right let's see I'm assuming this is hit a stunning couple really stunning gorgeous

20:08Brian I mean I get like new year it's a time for reflection I think this is a lovely idea and I think you've obviously had a huge self-growth journey recently and you found yourself in a lovely relationship and you're now like the best version of yourself and it's making you think back to be like i was a bit of a twat to her like i'm feeling really guilty about it i i get it i mean whether you should reach back out i don't know whether she would want does she want to hear from you i mean i do think i'm trying to think if this was me and i had an ex who didn't treat me very nice a text a text would be a text laying it all out and explaining would be enough for me to read it and go all right okay okay i appreciate that and then maybe i would like i'm thinking if i had an ex that treated me poorly yeah a text i wouldn't i don't think she would want to meet up because obviously she's in a new relationship looks a bit you know it's not really appropriate i think it puts too much pressure on it as well yeah i think it's i think a good text me too explaining everything as long as it goes through she will read it and whether she replies or not but it might make you feel better Brian just having said your piece I think it would be enough to get it off your chest yeah but you can't beat yourself up about it I mean you should because it was it I mean you shouldn't be you know you know it was bad wrong behavior recognize the wrong behavior you're not doing that anymore that's as good as you can do like that was the past version of you and there's only so you know you can't beat yourself up every day for things you've done in your past as long as you're moving forward and growing and not repeating those same mistakes I think a text is a really good idea.

21:50I think so. Just a nice text to Sarah. I think that would be enough. I think that would actually make, even writing it out would probably be quite healing for you. Like sometimes even just writing it and not even sending it is enough to be like, oh, that feels really good to get off my chest. Yeah. But I would write something up, show it to your girlfriend, get her opinion. But also like that relationship you guys shared, that was just both a part of your journey. That was a part of your journey, Brian. It was also a part of her journey in finding her now partner. Yeah. you know everything's worked out in the end she's happy you're happy I would send a text if it's gonna make you feel better me too and then just let your girlfriend know what you're doing so there's no you know great start to the year does that show that Brian's can grow and change I think it does yeah I think that's almost proof of it which is a good sentiment to have in 2026 when you clap she wants to be with you sorry Blueberry loves the claps she does

22:48You feel it taking over you.

22:54Okay. Sarah has a January bills issue. Hey, girls. Oh, she said splitting bills. Hmm. Dilemma. Okay. Hey, girls. Love listening to the pod every week. Thank you, Sarah. Thank you, Sarah. Hope you had a lovely Christmas and a happy new year. Hoping you can offer a second opinion. Always. Always. I've been dating my boyfriend for nearly three years now And it's been smooth sailing with no issues Wow, I hope he got you a nice Christmas gift Just some context I'm 26 and he's 28 We both currently Really nice age is that Really nice Yeah He's got a bit of age on you But is still Yeah With the same maturity level as you We both currently rent separately We don't live together Okay In previous relationships I generally always take it in turns paying for such things as lunches, dinners always had a, you know, it just balances itself out type of approach you get this yeah with money in the relationship which was always reciprocated with the exception of occasions and nights out where either of us wanted to treat either one of us nice, okay so that's what you were kind of used to I'll get this lunch you got the cab you got dinner I'll get you a coffee yeah you got me that lovely bag here's your i'll get some eggs from the shop so my issue is i've noticed that basically any time my boyfriend and i go out for lunch or dinner he will pay for it and ask to send a monzo split request straight after oh my god it's a work expense we're on monzo that i'd be like a request declined denied expenses not approved like no thank you every single time you go out for lunch or dinner well she says i don't know why but it just really gives me the yeah that gives me the ick too because also that makes me that gives to me like you want to be like yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah to the waitress please i've got this all on one And then actually you're like, what?

25:02And it's every time. Every time. Also three years in, like, come on. I know financially it's the same thing as me paying for the next one, but it just feels very frugal. Yeah, it doesn't, yeah. It's not as if I expect him to cover the full bill every time we go out, as obviously dinners and brunches all add up and it can be expensive. I've tried saying things like Why don't I get this one And you get the next And straight away He'll say no Don't worry Sure we'll just split it And then next time He'll pay and send a Monzo request A Monzo request Am I being too harsh Or is it valid I know it's not a major issue But I've just never experienced Transferring money with a partner So we'll be interested to hear Other people's takes Is it normal to transfer For dinners in long term relationships Or is it a bit awkward Sarah I would find that really awkward I also think this is your boyfriend of three years.

25:58Yeah. He, I don't, that's not, no. I would find that really awkward. But I understand like if he's like, this is expensive. I can't afford to get the full thing. Of course. But I'll get this one. You get that one. I'll get that one. You get that one. Yeah, like it's so to the penny. To the penny. I think it's what's giving you the, it's to the penny. Yeah. It's like down the middle. Yeah. Like, yeah. Like, what did you have? What did I have? Oh, let me, blah, blah, blah, blah. there's something about it just feels a bit too formal and I agree impersonal I agree like this is your boyfriend of three years I agree I think I don't know how you get around this though because because this you know like if you were to live together yeah I fear this is only gonna get like oh um don't eat that I bought that yogurt oh that's my milk like you don't it's not a house share no we're in a relationship yes yeah i i would feel exactly the same as you sarah i think i'm surprised you've gone on for three years like this without like i'm surprised the first time you weren't like oh well just leave that i'll get it did he even get the first date it's giving he did this on the first on the first crack i don't know i i would find it really awkward like this stuff makes me really awkward and uncomfortable like i would be like oh this is your boyfriend because also like okay what if you don't pay it back straight away are you now chasing me for payment yes like now you're my accountant and now i'm getting stressed yes like come on like i fear if you ever lived together and he like went and bought some blue roll and some bleach he'd send you a monzo split for that yeah and that i don't like no it's like we live together under the same like we are in a partnership a team yeah like come on it will work itself out that's what it's giving and you should think about it.

27:47You should maybe ask him that. So, you know, if we were ever to live together and you went and grabbed some groceries, are you going to then Monzo's lit me? Seriously. I think so. And let's get his thoughts and opinions because you will be signing up for a life of this where he... I think we should have a chat about finances. Yeah. And just like what we expect from each other, what we'd like it to be. I think you can be honest. Like it's your boyfriend of three years. At the end of the day, if we're not aligning financially either, then it isn't also going to work. And it's going to get more stressful and it's going to get more annoying.

28:15And I think like, even just like, oh, okay. So what are our financial goals? Like, do we want to move in together? Like what kind of place would we move into? What kind of rent would you be looking at? Like, let's just start talking about that kind of stuff. This is how much I'm paying. This is how much my bills are. Maybe this is stuff we haven't spoken about. Like, you know, we're in our late twenties. We've been together for three years. I think it was very appropriate to have these conversations. And I would just start it with that. And then I would, yeah, I would, I would just say like, I really don't like this splitting it with Monzo.

28:45Like it just doesn't feel very, it just feels really like, I guess, silly to me. Transactional. And it feels very corporate. Corporate. That's the word. It feels corporate. It feels corporate. It doesn't feel like you've got my back. I don't want to do this in a three-year relationship. Like I absolutely like want to pay my way, but let's just alternate. Like I'll get one dinner, you get the next one. Like I don't like this Monzo thing. Yeah, like to the penny thing. And just see what he says. Like if you've never brought up that you don't like, you know, I want to hear what his reasons are for this Monzo thing.

29:15splitting down the middle stuff if he's like 50 50 it's only fair only fair yeah it's only fair like i feared that's his gonna be his response well we both ate that anyway so but then if that is then that's fair enough like everyone's got different attitudes towards their finances and you know he's right to yeah like if that's what he wants to do but if that doesn't work for you then this is the problem so i think speak about it speak about finances as a whole i think Ask about hypothetical questions. Ask him on expectations for when you live together, what he would be expecting. How would we handle it financially?

29:53I think that's a really important question because it's not just the dinners. No, this will then be like all the bills, all the food shops. Oh, I'm running out to grab this. Oh, you're going to be indebted with Monzo requests. I know. Every time he leaves the house. What if he buys you a matcha? Is he Monzo when you're there? I think so, yeah. When he's getting you a coffee and a matcha? when he has to go and buy your tampons is he sending you the bill for the box sending you here's your here's a picture of my receipt you know the details I but then also like I've been with this guy for three years I'd feel like I'm like what about when we have a baby what are we buying a nappy each like come on I know these are all very serious questions and I feel like you're at the point in your relationship where it's like okay I actually need to start asking the serious shit yeah we need to start talking about money a little bit more because like this is starting to grate on you and you're almost kind of realizing I'm not sure if I'd want to sign up for a life with this guy.

30:47Yeah. We need to speak about finances. Bon, bon, chan. Good luck, Sarah. Hola, soy Nathalie Marcus, nutróloga y conductora del podcast Las Tres Erres. El cáncer de colon tocó de cerca a mi familia y me enseñó que detectarlo a tiempo puede marcar una gran diferencia. Así que hablemos de lo que no se habla. Por eso es que estoy colaborando con ColoGuard para decirte que si tienes 45 años o más y tienes un riesgo promedio, Pregúntale a tu profesional de la salud si Cologuard es adecuado para ti. Es una prueba que puedes usar en casa y detecta el 95 % de los cánceres de color. Obtén más información en colorguard.com diagonal prueba.

31:23La prueba Cologuard está diseñada para detectar el cáncer colorectal en adultos de 45 años o más con un riesgo promedio. Visita colorguard.com diagonal prueba para obtener más información solo con receta médica. Hacerte la prueba es un acto de amor por ti y por tu familia.

31:42Pro Rewards members can save up to 20 % when they buy more job site materials. Save 20 % when you buy 30 or more select bats and rolls of fiberglass insulation. 24 more cartons or pails of joint compound, tape, and bead. Or when you spend$200 or more on 3M painting and job site essentials. Members get more at Lowe's. Valid through 925, while supplies last. Selection varies by location. Program subject to terms and conditions. See Lowe's.com slash terms for details. Subject to change.

32:18I mean, new year, new man. We've got, he veets his arsehole. Wow. Wow, wow, wow. New year, new arsehole. So he wants you to lick it, I'm assuming? New year, new grooming routine. I mean, maybe he just wants to keep it clean. Yeah. Yeah. But a loofah would do the job. You know? Yeah. A good scrub, but he wants it smooth. He wants it hairless. He wants it smooth for you. I'm assuming he wants you to lick it Put your tongue in it Have you licked it before Sarah? I guess we're going to find out Hey girls I've been a listener since your podcast began Wow Years ago I even sent in a dilemma And you gave me some amazing advice Wow Well here we are again 2.0 Thank you for coming back Sarah After all this time I'm reaching out again Not for a solution But for clarity As I process what I've been through Whoa Whoa Whoa Oh, so this is almost just like she needs reassurance.

33:13I think so. I've been broken up with my boyfriend of two years for a month now. And I'm starting to think he might be gay. Okay. I know it's easy to jump to that conclusion, but even my friends and family picked up on some signs that I initially brushed off. Okay. Here's what I noticed. When I first met him, I did kind of question if he was gay. He picked me up in his white BMW, wearing a gilet, chinos, a pair of stylish glasses, and his hair was perfectly styled. I mean, some men are perfectly groomed. Yes, I know men can brush up well, but this just seemed overboard. Even throughout our relationship.

33:49It's giving Essex man. I don't mean to. Yeah, it's giving Essex guy. They're very well groomed, you know, BMW. Slick hair. Slick hair. Teeth, gilet, looking clean tan, like getting a spray tan. Even throughout our relationship, I joke about it, but he'd get really annoyed. So I stopped. Oh, you would joke about it. Yeah, okay. In social situations, he'd be affectionate and complimentary. Complimentary? Complimentary, yeah. But when we were done, he'd become distant and wouldn't talk to me. Whether we were at home or in a restaurant, he would just sit there on his phone and avoid eye contact. Sex was always on his terms, focused on his pleasure, and he never reciprocated.

34:30Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. So in public, it's all like lovey, lovey, quite PDA. then when you go home it's like where's that guy gone? He didn't want to touch you with a barge pole. The biggest sign though was that he used to use Veet hair removal cream on his asshole regularly. Yeah. I mean we could ask Mark Hayhurst I do think that's a that is a gay man routine. Our old friend used to Veet. Really? Yeah. That's probably the easiest way to get around there. Not because I was there when he was doing that but But the Veet smell is Fiona used to VE my legs for me when I was a young teen. Yeah. Young teen?

35:13Maybe not. We all used VE. It was like before you start shaving, you would use VE. Yeah. I remember mum doing it. I was like, mum, can you VE my legs? Yeah. Got PE tomorrow. It stunk. I confronted him about it and he claimed he just preferred being smooth, but it seemed odd. He'd also cover himself in talcum powder. Right. I like talcum powder. And didn't like body hair, except on his legs. Okay. Different people, it's different grooming preferences though. But yeah, now all these things are adding up for you. He plays cricket and there were rumours from a lad's holiday in Portugal before we went away.

35:49A friend's boyfriend told me that he saw my ex snogging a guy and sitting on his lap in a taxi before going back to their place. So he may have cheated on me with a man. he's 35 unsure about his life's direction an only child with a distant relationship to his dad but his mom is lovely i don't know if he's closeted but he was also really nasty to me the way things ended wasn't the nicest one hungover he doesn't want to be with you because he doesn't want to be with a woman that's why he's being and he's angry at his situation he's angry at you because and it's coming out to you. He doesn't feel like he can come out and be his truest self yet.

36:30One hungover morning before my 4 p.m. shift, he asked me to make him breakfast. I agreed, we cuddled, and after I made and cleaned up, I had about an hour and a half before work. While cuddling on the sofa, he suddenly said, I'm a bit horny, babe, pulled out his penis, and I stupidly went down on him. He died. Thinking I'd reciprocate, I said I was horny too, but he didn't even look at me, just kept changing channels and said, I'm too tired, babe. You're going to have to sort yourself out. That's when I realized what the hell am I doing here and started to gather my things. He asked for a goodbye kiss, but I refused, pointing out I just made him breakfast.

37:09And he got angry, so he didn't want to argue, and I left. He didn't speak to me for a week, saying he needed space because he hates arguing and being told how to behave. After a week, I demanded a call, and he replied that he was eating dinner and would call after. when he finally called he said it had been the best week of his life and he'd felt great i was crying but he didn't care he said he'd been thinking about breaking up with me for a while yeah but even while we were cuddling it broke my heart i hung up on him and now i'm left wondering if he ever loved me i'd really appreciate your thoughts on this is he trapped in the closet is he just nasty i just don't understand why i would settle for someone like this exactly this is a man who wet the bed from alcohol intake more than he ever bought me flowers here's a picture of me and him and she's put the gagging emoji i think you made the right oh my god he looks fucking i can see those evil eyes let me see let me see i don't know just i know what you mean about the well-groomed i do too it's giving it's giving like essex boy yeah but he sounds like a nasty nasty nasty piece of work i mean look let's look at it as if he was a closeted gate man it doesn't a couple things you've said do add up it does add up that he would treat you nastily yeah he doesn't want he's not happy he's not happy within himself yeah yeah he's horny just wants to be pleasured but he doesn't actually want to go and look or touch your vagina no and he's just with you for appearances kind of thing it does make sense how he was acting and treating you i mean i was with a really nasty guy and some men are just nasty and they hate you and they are just nasty narcissists yeah and maybe this is understand it and maybe this is just one of those instances where it's like doesn't matter if he's gay or if he's not gay like he's just was a nasty piece of work and let's move on like we can wonder about Maybe you'll find out one day You might see something on social media one day But like he was just a nasty guy That treated you pretty shit Really shit And I'm glad that you've seen the light And got out of it It sounds like a nasty piece of work Because it almost sounded like He would push you away, pull you back in So like after he'd be nasty to you I imagine he had like Some sort of Some certain type of charm That lured you back in that's why you stay exactly that's why you stay with the nasty guy you have to have some sort of charm otherwise you would just be off exactly so I'm glad that kind of like you saw his true colours and you are out of that for good yeah and like Sophia said whether you see something one day or not I'm just glad you're not with that guy anymore me too because nasty men also he just sounded like he hated you yeah unfortunately some boyfriends do hate you some boyfriends are they're jealous of their girlfriends and they genuinely hate them and they want the worst for you and they don't care about you they literally don't give a shit and she did ask she said i feel like it was a lie did he even love me he probably did have care for you and probably loved you in his own way in in a certain aspect but if he's unhappy with himself it was never gonna be like a true love situation do you know what i mean and i think all you can do look we've said this a thousand times but all you can do now moving forward is remember what it was like in the beginning remember all those things that you turned a blind eye to little like nasty behavior coming out all of that stuff to make sure you'd never end up in anything like this ever again like now you have learned what you really don't want in a partner and like we always say learning what you don't want is just as important about learning what you do want and now hopefully you are on high alert for behavior like this and how it can look and how we're different in public than we are behind closed doors and how you don't really care about pleasuring me.

41:10And it always seems to be about you and sex is always on your terms and all of these things that you've said, regardless of V and the asshole and any of that, just his general behavior, you now know to look out for that in future and to steer clear from it. So regardless of, I know you're reminiscing and wondering, like, did he ever love me? Like, what was that? Like, that was a weird time. I think it happened for a reason I think you've learned a huge life lesson that hopefully now will mean any relationship after this can only be better and that's what I think you can take away from this yeah you learn a lot you will never be with a nasty guy again that's for sure that's for sure like because you know what to look out for now you'll meet the nicest guy in the world this behavior anymore you'll be like oh my god you're like my ex get out exactly you know now what it is you won't be manipulated again and be like and you'll be able to sniff it from a mile off from that first date you'll be able to sniff it out just like that v well i'm happy i'm glad it's the new year me too it's a great time he's behind you that fucking knobhead is behind you like go be free do what you want to do get out of here

42:24we have a brian here who apparently wants to this is quotes wants to save his testosterone for gym games didn't we have something is this ringing a bell for you it is i remember we had something and he was saying that he he couldn't have sex because he had to save himself for the gym or something remember didn't we disprove it he like couldn't ejaculate because he needed it for the gym but didn't we disprove it as like she was like are you cheating like are you having sex yes yes and then that other girl wrote in like i think i'm the other girl because i know this guy yes so we've had something like this before so sarah here says hi girl and everyone's on their January fitness journeys.

43:09Long time listener here and watcher. Love you girls. Thank you. I'll get right into it. So me and Brian have been together for almost three years now. I'm 24. He's 22. When we first got together, the sex was amazing. But I'd never, but best I've ever had, I'd like to say. Our chemistry is fire and he does so much for me. I love him so much and he's great. He's a true gentleman. He never lets me pay for anything. And it's always treating me... Get it, Monzo boy. Yeah, yeah, get it. It's always treating me to holidays, gifts and dates. But since this year, the sex has become a lot less. And even to the point, I think I'm doing something wrong.

43:59I've brought it up in conversations lightly, but he always brushes it off saying relationships aren't always about sex and that he wants to save his testosterone. for the gym so he's saying that that's his excuse girls let me repeat that he told me he wanted to have sex less so he could save his testosterone for the gym so his muscles can grow but didn't we disprove it last time i swear we googled it and we disproved it or am i like making that up i think we disproved it too yeah just google it does not having sex make your muscles make your Like save your testosterone. It's nonsense. We disproved it last time.

44:38We've got a fact here from a mail in the studio. We have a mail in here saying it's nonsense. Not having sex. Oh yeah. Abstinence from ejaculation. Scientific people. Can lead to a temporary spike in testosterone levels. Right, right, right. Particularly around the seventh day of abstinence. But it does not result in a significant or permanent increase in your baseline testosterone production. Right. He's better off just getting some fucking steroids. Take a, take a, take a gummy or something. Take a fucking let me cheer or something. Like, let me pour or something. Let me lift or something. Right.

45:22Okay, yeah, we did disprove it. There is no conclusive evidence that long-term abstinence results in a sustained increase in testosterone levels. there we go. Or saves it over time. So it would only take brian go on google type that in screenshot it and send it in the chat yeah truly because unless he's got some yes men around yeah yeah mate yeah but surely they're not like rallying around because they want to have sex with their women do you know what i mean like boxers they're not allowed to have sex before the fight because they have to be like that's like one fight yeah exactly it's not the whole relationship it's not sustainable right okay let's read on then so he's trying to make you feel guilty saying well relationships aren't always aren't always about sex get your Find out the gutter.

46:02Yeah, like, it's not always just about sex, you know. Which is just like, whoa, don't twist this on me. I'm just asking, like, we used to have sex and now we don't. What's happened over Christmas time, babes? It doesn't take a fucking genius to recognize that, Sherlock. Yeah, Sherlock. Sherlock. Sometimes I think maybe he's just insecure, but this makes me feel insecure because now I feel like I'm doing something wrong or there's something wrong with me. Like, do I smell or am I not good at what I'm doing in bed? He used to go down on me a lot And vice versa But just not anymore How long has it been?

46:36Sorry It's been three years or something He's not very open When it comes to talking about The intimate things I've even noticed Our kisses have gotten a lot less And we notice these things We always notice Because it's like Surely there'd still be passion If you were holding yourself back I can't Jacqueline My muscles start to grow I can't even kiss your lips My muscles This is so hard right now surely there'd still be passion and like a snog I can't Sarah I've got to do my pee pee tonight at the gym I wish I could but I can't I've got deadlifts tomorrow Brian's taking me to the gym tomorrow you know he is I'll ejaculate with him in the gym yeah like come on like relax honestly we're going to click on this image of him and he's going to be the skinniest man in the world skinny come on eat a chicken breast and get on with it get on myprotein.com get on myprotein.com get on myprotein.com this is a protein shake you alright yeah just have some fucking egg whites freak egg whites and what do they have get some electrolytes in you have some raw eggs you freak have some chicken breast you fucking freak what else do they what can you drink that is good for your muscles creatine creatine get on myprotein.com and order some creatine right anyways keep reading okay so i'm noticing the kisses are even less so it's like you're chatting shit actually uh and it's hard to even get a snog out of him at all well i'm finding this hard as i'm very in i'm a very intimate person and i know i'm passionate he is my second partner and third person i've had sex with my last partner my last partner i was with for four years and he He always complimented me.

48:26And our sex life, even through our relationship, ended because he cheated on me. Oh. So I feel my confidence is already not amazing and this is now not helping at all. It's making you second guess. Sex once a month just isn't cutting it for me. Is he being serious with the whole saving it for the gains or is this a cover story for something else? I mean, it's a cover story. I'm looking at him right now. Sorry for the long essay. Advice would be amazing. Many thanks, Sarah. Pics of his attached. Let's see him. I'd love to put a face in the story. I'd love to put a face in this one. I mean, sorry, Brian Babes.

48:57You're not giving Mr. Muscle, if I'm honest. He's got skinny legs as well. He's been skipping leg day. He's just been doing his biceps, it appears. Oh, Brian.

49:13It ain't doing much, darling. You may as well just get naked with your girl, all right? And just have sex, all right? It ain't doing much. it ain't doing much look how small his calves are they're smaller than mine I am not just even doing like look he's got a thick neck I'll give him that he's got a really thick he has got a thick neck he's got some big traps but Brian you know come on all it takes is one quick google Brian to know that because you're telling me he's not ejaculating all month and just doing it once but his balls will be blue bulging no chance he's chatting shit your gut sarah is telling you that there is more to the story as is our our thoughts is that there is more to the story it just seems strange he's pulling back and he's making excuses this was a new guy and he'd always been this way it's like look maybe this guy is just is this way yeah like maybe he's really into his meal prepping and he really was on this big fitness journey and he thinks that this is what it's going to take so like okay he's just that's what he's doing but I think if you've been with him for three years have you noticed like anything else change like what is the vibe between you guys is it is he still like do you still feel loved and it's just the physical that I don't think like to be fair she just said that he takes are on nice holidays dates and things but it just seems strange to have such a shift three years in and to not have any sort of like we need we i'm not allowed to speak to you about it because you shut me down or you give me this reason which is just not correct i think the telltale sign is he's not even really kissing her no or snogging her no i think that something's changed and you know something in your gut has changed so you need to press in more on it you say I'm calling bullshit I'm calling bullshit on your testosterone muscle slogan and it's bullshit what is going on and let's see what he says because it is deeper than he's making out and he is just making excuses and it's like you can't bullshit you can't keep bullshit me like this no Mr.

51:33Muscle Mr. Muscle like you're hardly completing for strongest man of the year take a break what was that show World's Strongest Man of the Year. World's Strongest Man. World's Strongest Man. You're hardly competing in World's Strongest Man. With those Atlas Stones. I loved it. Pulling those trucks. I loved it. Sometimes I still watch that big man. Even those guys have cheat days. Come on, they've all got loads of kids, so they're having sex. Exactly. Like that guy who's the biggest one, I sometimes watch his YouTube and what he used to eat. He's got like three kids. I'm sure he's having sex with his wife.

52:01Yeah. Please. She looks pretty happy to me. Yeah. Also, Mark Hayhurst, our hair guy, he's definitely having sex. He's definitely having sex. He's massive. He's got no testosterone issues. Yeah, he's stacked. Yeah, I fear it's just not correct. So I think you call out the bullshit. Say, look, it's bullshit. Yeah. Be honest with me. What is going on? Or Sarah, grab his, try and look on his phone. Have a snoop. See if anything else is going on there. Seriously, because you can't keep going on like this. And I know that you're like, oh, he doesn't like talking about it. Well, sorry, we need to, because you're the one that's now got a new personality after three years.

52:36and I know you're on this gym journey and you're thinking it's your testosterone but like I'm in this relationship too and I didn't sign up to just sleep be intimate once a month like I want to have a kiss, have a cuddle like have a snog like I want to be able to do that with my partner exactly it's deeper than just the sex as well it's like no something else is going on like you want to be close to your partner and you don't want to be close to me so it's like what is up His gains What is it? Apparently My big gains My big calves baby Leg days up You want me to look big For you baby?

53:24Okay Have you ever heard The word smashing? Smash For having sex Smash or pass? Yeah We smashed last night I've never used that word You've never heard of smash? I mean I would know what it means But I've never heard people say it No, no, no, no So we've got here Are we just smashing? Well it's a boy thing Right Boys say smash Smash, smash, pass Are we just smashing like he says Or is there more? Hi girls Happy New Year Happy New Year Sarah Manifesting all the love Love Love Happiness and business for us For all us girls and boys in the new year Oh that was lovely So here's my dilemma. I've been single for eight months.

54:06My last relationship ended so abruptly with a guy who looked like Mario. So it's actually okay. Mario? Mario and Luigi. I thought I was going to have... You should let me love you. Leroy Sanchez. Great cover. Best cover of all time. I thought I was going to have babies and marry this man. But on a random Tuesday, he said he was moving to Australia. Eight months later, I've booked a flight to Australia. I leave on Friday for six weeks. and he's still in his box room at his mum's. So he never actually left. Oh my God. That's so funny. Anyways, I was adamant I wasn't going to get into a new relationship for a while and went into my slaggy era.

54:45In the midst of this, I met Brian. He lives 45 minutes away. I was a bit reluctant at first as he wanted me to go straight to his flat. But, you know. We're in Australia. No, we've not gone yet. Oh. I don't think we've gone yet. Okay. So off I went Duty calls This boy is insane He's tall Handsome Gorgeous Great job Rolex watches And a gorgeous apartment I've seen him now Multiple times Every time I go around The sex is amazing More than amazing I've never had anything Like it Sarah But we can't just be blinded By the willy Sarah We've also got to listen To what he is saying To us The heart was What it was

55:31Although he once also invited my friend round with me and sends me videos of him. Whoa. Wait, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Wait, she bought her friend round for a threesome. He once also invited my friend round with me, like threesome vibes, and sends me videos of him fucking a plastic vagina, which he nicknames Katie. Katie. Shout out Katie. Shout out Katie But that's another story Katie, he must have known a woman called Katie Who the fuck is Katie? He knows a Katie He's not just called this plastic vagina Katie, surely When I'm finished riding the disco stick He wants to cuddle and make us food And asks if we can spoon on the sofa I always say yes When it's me and him together Me too, I always say yes Yes, I would like that That's allowed When it's me and him together in person and it honestly feels like we're in a movie.

56:28I get butterflies, we laugh, giggle together, our phone's always away for the whole night, and before we know it, we're going upstairs to bed. I would go as far to say that I have strong feelings for this boy now. Okay, you might need to slow down then, Sarah. Oh, no. I have never known anything like it, however. But he's never took me on a date. At the start, our messaging was consistent, like it always is, and then typical it dried out, got quite blunt and was less frequent. But he still wanted to see me each week and said he was excited to see me and he'd missed me. Always a good feeling. Always a nice.

57:08Missed you. Really? He missed me. Me? Me. When we're together, he tells me you just get better and better. Wow. God. I mean, he knows what to say. I'm anyone. He knows what to say to keep us around. He knows what to say. You get better and better. He knows what to say. I miss you and you get better and better. Wow. That's a great line. Yeah. We talked about kids and all the stuff a couple would. Wow. Okay. This sounds like it's going to really hurt. However. They just know what to say. They just know. Yeah. He knows if he chats about kids, he's going to lock you in for another, you know, few months.

57:50It's like... I was getting confused what we were. Yeah. Yeah. That's the first red flag, Sarah. It's like, have you even seen him outside of his apartment? I'm not sure we've left the property. Like, this is what we need to... But then... Has he ever bought you a coffee? That doesn't sound like it. We've never left the apartment together. We've not seen him in his own clothes. In it. We've never seen him, like... He's always in his boxes. We've never seen him dressed. Oh, gosh. However, I was getting confused what we were with the difference of in-person. and over message. So why? Very clear. I sent him a TikTok.

58:25Okay. It said, when you don't know what you are, dating, talking, situationship, but he's so fit, so you're going with it. Oh, Sarah. Sarah. I would have advised not to send that. Oh. Unsend. Unsend immediately. oh my insides have just collapsed no but listen i know the frantic state that she's in i know i know i know the state that she's in and it's like you want to be so easy breezy you want to be it's like monica you know just i think maybe i'm getting my period or something so i don't know just maybe like you know call me back or don't it's monica by the way yeah and you want to act so you want because you want the answers you're thinking if i just easy breezy just like so easy You're so easy breezy.

59:17You're so easy breezy. Then like for sure he's just going to let me know that like he wants more with me. But I know the state you're in because like it's getting to the point where you need to know. And you're getting upset. So I don't blame you at all, Sarah. I don't. I don't blame you. I would have gone, Sophia, should I send this TikTok? No. It's too late. I've already sent it. Oh God. I get it. I probably would have sent it too. But it's also like, but now we're letting him know that we think he's fit and we will just stick around for anything. Well, ladies, to this, he point blank. I actually can't.

59:53Throw your phone in the river. Throw it. He said, oh, we're just smashing. He wrote two words. We're smashing. You're blocked. You're blocked. I'm going to spiral. When I asked him. I'm going to spiral. Oh my. I would cry. I would cry. I would cry. When I asked him, what does he mean? he said we're fuck buddies

1:00:21dramatic gasps from the room today this is a movie i mean do you know what sarah i'm actually happy that you sent that tiktok because now he has spelled it out for you and you did not want to know you did not want to read that it wasn't the answer you wanted but i'm almost glad that he gave you that reminder of like well it was a reality check now we're straight back down to earth oh my at least he was honest with us because he probably he probably panicked and thought oh shit she actually thinks that this is yeah oh god no i feel my i feel like this has just happened to me and i don't feel well my heart dropped i've lost my appetite for you sarah i was gonna have an avocado toast i know at not one point did i think he was gonna say that yeah well that's why you have the confidence to send it because you thought you were going to get something back of a similar like yeah I don't know I like you too like at the end of the day you never would have sent that if you thought he was going to say well obviously we're just smashing but fuck buddies it wasn't what you wanted to hear he knows how to keep it alive when we're together like we're having and we think because we're laughing and giggling and cuddling and like I'm staying round you know and we're like talking about life i'm not just popping in having sex and leaving like we are also getting to know each other it's very confusing when i asked more about this he said he's seven months out of a relationship and feels he needs to be single for a bit he said we get on but he oh no no no what what what but he doesn't feel the spark i honestly was so shocked everything he said and does when we're together does not go hand in hand with this at all he holds my hand when we're laying on the sofa he asks for back tickles and surely i can't be so bad at reading signals that i'm there planning our future our wedding kids and he's just thinking fuck buddies after this i said i was truly shocked and that this did not make sense yeah i said to him that we should leave it there because my feelings are going to get hurt and i can't continue he then was intrigued and wanted more he said that if he did want a relationship he'd be all over it but right now he doesn't it feels like he knows what we've built is good but he's too afraid to commit or am i actually so blind i've misread all these signs and he genuinely just wants to be fuck buddies.

1:02:51He says all these things, like he's never had a better sexual chemistry with anyone else. Please, what do I do? Do I start this new year and just erase him from my memory? But honestly, what it's like in person is just perfect. Or do I keep being strong in case he gets to the point where he is ready? Right, Sarah, we're gonna bring it back to the start of the episode. show me him zoom in it kind of looks like the devil who shall not be named yeah it looks like the devil yeah it's the same category of man right we're going to bring it back to the start of the episode where we're talking about Jesus Christ and the Bible yeah and in the Bible it says in the Bible it says men lie you know that it says all men lie in the bible old testament not sure gotta be there's all men lie oh my god that's this man type of shit this man he is just lying to you when he says this is the best connection i could oh i could if i i could be all over you like you are perfect in those way all bullshit it's bullshit it's not all bullshit because when you tried to pull away just then earlier he was all of a sudden wanting it a little bit more it's all a game it's all a lie you can't believe a single everything that that man has ever said to you classic is bullshit it was all a way to get into your pants unfortunately it worked it was how he it's and it worked because we want to go around yeah we have a great time yeah you're really nice to me yeah like you hold my hand yeah but he's lying he's lying and the last thing like we cannot continue to see him and sleep with him with the hopes of changing the hopes of that it will never and well it will never work no because also sarah you don't deserve this either sarah that you know he's saying you know i've only been single for seven months you know i'm not ready for a relationship blah blah blah I get that but I also think like you can't help who you fall in love with and I'm sure there's been instances where you've thought I wasn't really ready to be in a relationship but I can't let this person go I cannot let this person go you know in a dream would I'd like to be single for a little bit longer but I can't let this person go this person's come into my life I cannot let that they are perfect how am I why would I let them go So if he really did see you how he's chatting, all this malarkey about I'm not ready.

1:05:37Bullshit. No, it would be like, whoa, I didn't expect this yet. But great things come when you're not expecting them. Like he, so I just don't believe that excuse. Like, yes, it might not be the perfect timing if I could have imagined it. But now you're here. Well, you've changed my whole perspective and I can't let you go. so I wouldn't hold out for that I'm not ready after seven months bullshit because I think like if you were the perfect person for him or he thought whatever he would be like locking you down also all men are always prepared to put themselves first yeah always in this instance Sarah you need to put yourself first he's confusing you he's feeding you lies he's saying one thing doing the other he's cold on text but they're great in person he says he's not ready for a relationship take take that and run with it and and let's leave him alone like hear what he's saying to you exactly and unfortunately now like look i'm glad you've had a great time i'm glad you've had a friends with benefits with a guy who yeah was nice that you'd have cuddles on the sofa afterwards you'd have a bit of dinner together you'd like stroke each other's backs you'd fall to sleep it was a nice arrangement it was nice for the time like you didn't you didn't leave feeling like worthless and like shit about yourself you left on a high yeah and you had a great time and it worked but unfortunately like it just will not work anymore because you now have real feelings and you are holding on to everything like oh my god but i think he looked at me differently that time and i think he was holding my hand yeah and that felt really loving that felt a bit more but that to him is just like he's just holding it's role play it's role play he knows how to be in a relationship he's been in one before so he knows how to role play a relationship And he probably likes the company.

1:07:20He probably does. He probably does like you, but we can't hold out for a man who says, oh, I'm not ready. Maybe I will be one day. Because even if he was feeling, even if this started as a friends or benefits situation, he then thought, oh, I wasn't really ready for this yet. The threat even of you being like, well, I can't do this anymore, would have spurred him into action and being like, oh my God, no, I cannot lose you. Like, of course I want to be with you. Like, I can't let go of you. So even if he is happy to let you go, then that says it all. How you need to proceed in this instance is, I'm leaving.

1:07:58Goodbye. You say to him, oh, okay, fine, okay. You're not offering me what I need and what I want. Therefore, I will be removing myself from the situation because you can't offer. This doesn't work for me anymore. You don't offer me what I need or deserve. You walk away. You only let him back in if he is coming completely correct. offering you the world a relationship that is the only boyfriend girlfriend straight off the bat do not let him back in oh can we just see how it goes yeah like next friday when you're out with your mates drinking maybe i'll change my mind like could we just can i still keep seeing you are you out tonight no like can i see you tonight no no danger zone sarah you say danger zone no because he will of course he's gonna want to steal and try and see you because you do have a good time yeah but we have to be it's not serving you anymore exactly you have to be strict sarah but like no you're only gonna hurt break my heart more i want way more you can't offer me that and that's i deserve more you need to look out for you in the long term exactly you deserve short-term pleasure but that it's long-term like it's just it's really hurting your feelings you need to walk away and let him know oh okay then that's not what i'm looking for at all and like we're done with your head held high don't even like cry don't don't wallow to him and then beg him no like oh okay that's not what you're okay i'm not after that sorry i'll go find someone else who wants to be my boyfriend i'm looking for a boyfriend not just a fuck buddy sorry yeah and that's how you address that you're gonna be so strong but you have to be you have to be otherwise you know it's going to be another year you're going to spend the whole year in this situationship he's then going to meet someone who he wants to make his girlfriend and it's going to be a million times worse you need to if he you need to walk away and if he lets you walk away that tells you everything you need to know and just try and see it as a positive i had a great time friends of benefits we had great sex like i had a great time but now like it's i'm moving on from here he will also shit himself because this is not what this is not the energy that you've been giving him before the energy you've been giving him up until now is oh what are we here i hope we're more here yeah i'll come over yeah yeah yeah yeah but if you saw oh oh unbothered unbothered walking away that's not serving me more he i don't want to like get your hopes up but he probably will switch up because it'll be a different kind of energy from you and he'll like want it more but unless he comes correct you have to be so strict with yourself come on it's 2026 now we can't be doing this stuff we're not entering into a situation shit let's leave it behind she said we are fuck buddies yeah say oh i'm not spelled it out for you oh i'm not looking for a fuck buddy i'm looking for a boyfriend or something more so goodbye then you are the weakest link yeah you have to be so strict right oh my god well god god should we have our star of the week that would be nice come on Star of the week this week This is our first January 2026 start of the week And we've got Bella writing in And she wants to nominate Her boyfriend Taylon Never heard that word before Because he truly is My best friend We've been together for three years And since I started working full time He has made every evening something I look forward to Whether it's playing together On our netball and soccer teams or hosting Love Island watch parties with our friends.

1:11:29He makes life feel joyful and fun. Fun. Full. Full. He celebrates every single win of mine, no matter how small, and always writes me the most heartfelt cards that make me feel seen and loved. When I finished my honours thesis, he surprised me with a box of all my favourite things, took me to a restaurant from my bucket list, big foodies, and even cooked a seafood feast with his best friend, who's a chef. Shut up. But it's more than just gestures. He constantly tells me I'm going to be an amazing mother and wife one day and he makes me believe it. He's my biggest cheerleader, my partner in everything.

1:12:02I'm the person who turns ordinary days into celebrations. Wow. Look at the happy couple. Round of applause for them. Thank you for being a lovely boyfriend to our Bella Taylor. We really appreciate the start of the week. Thank you, Bella and Taylor. Very well deserved. Absolutely. Happy January to all. Happy January to all guys. Thank you for tuning in from the episode. If you would like to email us in, please do to hello at the girls bathroom.com. Absolutely. Follow us on Instagram, YouTube and TikTok, please. Thank you very much. And if you would like to join our Patreon this year, you can do.

1:12:38We have bonus episodes every single Monday. Well, we will see you next Wednesday or next Monday. Love ya. Bye.

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