Boy Talk: I’m cheating with my gay bffs!!!

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2:33Oh, my God. Did you eat, Sarah? You must be starving.

3:11you Because it's nice, like, it's nice because I'm such a trainer girl. Well, you don't want your toes out. It's nice not having to be in a trainer, but a slip-on. It's giving like a Birkenstock. I've never had a Birkenstock. Yes, yes. But it's giving like slip-on, but toes are concealed. Well, you know. But it's not a trainer. You know what the classic comfort slip-on shoe is? The fit flop. The fit? Does Fiona have a pair of fit flops? Is that a wedge flip-flop? Yeah. Have you not seen Angie's fit flops? Yes, of course I have. Yes, of course I have. It's like every single woman. Because they were marketed to like make you lose weight.

3:44Because it was like, it would be a workout walking in the wedge. And they're like, they're flip flops, but comfort and you can walk long lengths in them. And it's good for their, it's good for their, you know, posture or whatever. And for their old and maiden type limbs. Do you know what? I'm going to fucking get a pair. I'm actually going to get a pair. No, mum has them all. Sparkly ones. Yeah. Black ones. I'm actually going to get a pair. On holiday, it's fit flops. Yeah. I'm actually going to get a pair. Like any woman over the age of 45, I guarantee you have a pair of fit flops and then don't come cheap.

4:14I mean, Chanel are doing fit flops. They're doing a wedge flip flop. I know, but the fit flop, it's specially designed. It's like a trainer in flip flop form. I saw a woman around the park the other day in the trainers with the heel, the wedge trainer. Cool! Yeah, I was like, God, bring it back. I've never tried them on though, but I would love. Me neither, I've never had a pair of them. They must be hard to, because it's a heel at the end of the day. It's a wedge. It's a wedge at the end of the day. it's a heel at the end of the day it's a heel at the end of the day and I think bring it back girl yeah I'm gonna get a pair of wedge flip flops cool yeah look we'll put up a picture of a fit flop I bet all of your mums has a pair of fit flops there used to be adverts on the TV for fit flops there was adverts on the TV and it'd be like new colours yeah oh my god sequins yeah like I bought my pair my mum fit flop and they are comfy I don't actually think Fiona's got a pair to be honest but she wants some She probably does.

5:11Yeah. It's her birthday in August.

5:22Right. Welcome back, everyone. Happy Wednesday. It is time for our question of the week. I'm actually very excited. Me too. I'm really excited. So we've got here. What is the dumbest thing a man has ever bragged about to you? do you know what it's just going to be the most disgusting amount of comments that i've ever heard in my life oh i don't like it i'm already getting the shivers that he has only slept with 30 people my boyfriend told me he had a threesome with a mum and a daughter

5:57like you're bragging about that that he'd never made his own bed so like so your mum did it then oh well uh i've never touched the shit i never had to go i own bed right so your mom's making it so you're a man child um he passed his driving test after the fourth try me um having a massage in soho and paying extra for her to wank him off does that happen in england yeah happy ending fucking video games grow up you little child video games I mean the most common what I'm seeing here immediately is the body count really so they're saying it in like a boasty way how many girls he pied went out clubbing I thought he was going to say piped err pieds go err yeah I was like do you think that's going to make me desire you more cleaning the house once whilst I was away when I do it every week ha ha yeah bragging about the event in the dishwasher I'm emptying that twice a fucking day what are you all about and you'll never let it go that's embarrassing his driving ban his driving ban Oh God.

7:02Having a rail card. Having a rail card. How wide his type varies. I did not know what you were about to say. I was going to say something about a wide set vagina. So you just say I like anyone and everyone. Yeah. Right. I'm literally not fussy at all. Yeah. So I'm not special then. Yeah. Threesomes. Seeing a lot of threesomes. Yeah. Okay. They must panic and think that's a good talking point. They must. Yeah. They must fumble. Yeah. Oh, well, you know, one time. Yeah. I was actually having a threesome. Yeah, there was this mom. Not taking drugs for a whole week. Oh my God. Going to prison for assisted murder.

7:37Oh my God. Got criminals in the house tonight. God, mate. Oh my God, what do you mean? So like, yeah, I've been inside. Yeah. Yeah, you know, I got free. You know, being inside was rough. Assisted murder out now though. Almost went down for life. But he doesn't have any empathy. That's a, yeah. How is that a flex? Yeah, that's a really scary thing. That's a red fucking flag. Honestly, that's a really scary thing to hear. But he showers every morning. Okay. Well, I shower every morning. Unlike my friends, I actually shower every single morning. Oh, that's good. Being on Love Island. Oh God, no.

8:22Doing a load of laundry, right? Yeah. Okay. How far he can run. Okay. wow 10k wow the size of the fish he caught why the fuck on every man's sorry boys dating profile is it a picture of them with a fish like this i do like fish though who the fuck wants to see that on a dating profile no one you and you fucking caught with the hook in it also unless you've caught a fucking killer whale i don't care about the size of the fish you've caught. No one cares about any of that. Unless you've wrestled the... Unless you've wrestled an alligator. There we go. And you're holding it above your head like this.

9:05I don't give a fuck. Oh, the poor fish. And also the poor fish. Like, we used to be vegan. We don't want to hear about that. We don't want to hear about that. It's not going to turn me on. Whether Sophia eats chicken or not these days, it's irrelevant. We don't want to see... It's irrelevant, even though it comes up in every Q &A. We don't want to see a dead fish. Even though I eat tuna every day. Mercury boys alone. Everyone keeps warning about mercury poisoning. His fit sister.

9:34Right, okay. That's a different issue. That's a different kettle of fish. No, that actually deep that everyone. Like, oh, my sister's really fit. My sister gets all the guys. I wish it was me. Seriously, Sophia. That's not all right. Having sex on holiday in the same room as his friend. Weird boy. Oh, yeah. They love to do that though, don't they? When they're all sharing those single bets. Getting with multiple girls. His new Strava watch for golf. Oh, I think I'd be impressed by that. Oh, for golf. Show me that. Wow. Oh, let's see. Four years in, he's off at the golf course every weekend. You're not fucking playing golf anymore.

10:19Being in a porno. You're joking. He's an actor. he's an artiste yeah on his hinge profile i only do coke i won't go near cat oh my god we do not condone drugs here that is disgusting passing his gcse maths when he was 27 years old

10:44oh he struggled when he was young sophia he struggled like maths and he still tried to pass it 27 that's beautiful it is hard it's really hard it took me a couple times why were we even having to do all that bullshit you know fucking pythagoras like all of that mental maths no calculator oh for god's sake no in the real world we've got fucking calculators we've got check gbt there we go oh and he went back and he tried and he tried and he tried again that's beautiful that's commitment he needs a you know because going back and doing all that maths at the age of 27 and then to also like because also like he could have kept that private but like he wanted to share that with you he was like yeah I've been studying really hard and you're thinking okay maybe this guy works in finance and he's got some exams or something but it's like you know he's trying to pass the board maybe he's a lawyer trying to pass the bar thinking okay he's studying at the ripe old age of 30 but really it's oh all for his maths GCSA well you need those qualifications gets you far in life you do what did i get into csc you did really well you got a b didn't you i think i got a c in maths yeah you were good at maths i didn't know i got a c and i was like i'm done that's me done because we got to do it in year 10 remember no you got a b didn't did i yeah because i got a c and i had to redo it they made me redo it did i get a b and you got b first time and they said yeah didn't they say to you like oh you can do it again you can get and then you were like no I don't care yeah because we were able to do our maths in year 10 and then try again yeah I was like I had to do it again did I get a B?

12:22yeah I'm sure you did you used to help me with my maths so much don't you remember? because you had Miss Savage that was her real name Miss Savage I'm a savage classic she must have got that so much in COVID oh my god I'm a savage I'm a savage classic oh i don't remember her miss savage no i don't remember her face you don't remember miss savage she was your maths teacher great she mustn't have left an impression on me then she was literally your maths teacher because i remember the name yeah i can picture and she wasn't even my teacher i'm a savage i'm a savage miss savage and she was really good because you were in the lower set but because you were in the lower set you actually got more attention classes were moving slower so you actually got it so then you had to help me remember and then my and then I did well right and my teacher said to me like oh you've improved a lot like what did you do and I was like oh chintz from set below helped me out because her teacher actually helped because my teacher was shit and just went to I couldn't keep up that man that weird because if got all those clever maths people you know i was only in middle but i it was i couldn't keep up oh god but i gotta be but then you moved up and i went down yeah this because your teacher was really good she was really good and you actually understood she was actually nurturing and then you were teaching me how to do it my was called mr andrew mr yeah wasn't he new no oh he was my form teacher and then he became a maths teacher yeah he was new to the school no really thinking of someone else yeah i'm savage oh she must have got bullied by the school by the kids when after covid she may not work there anymore she was yeah oh thank you for getting me that b miss savage yeah you don't have to remember any of our times together together at all genuinely i don't even I can.

14:31Long skirts she wore. Long skirts and t-shirts. Honestly, I will have to find a picture of her. Beats me. I do not. I can picture her as clear as day. I've only got one memory of a maths class. Actually, yeah, it's coming back to me that I was in the lower set. But I do not remember the teacher. Yeah, Miss Savage. I'm a savage. That song actually triggers me. Sends me back to a time.

15:02Just before we get into it, quick disclaimer. We are not doctors. We are not professionals. We do not actually know what we are talking about. This is a lighthearted space. Okay. Don't take what we say literally because we could be wrong. Yeah. And if there's anything serious, if there's anything you feel like you're seriously struggling with, please contact a GP, a professional, because that is not us. We're just girls, girls and boys just like you. We're just trying to get through life as well. Not professionals. Enjoy the episode. we're gonna start here with a scandalonious one scandalonious what do they say in uh super fragile casual spielidocious yeah and what do they say in wicked scandalonious scandalonious because she it's delicious where's that from it's getting right we've got one die for the chocolate cake Oh, die.

15:50Just a skinny cat. For the chocolate gash. Oh, I couldn't hear all the chocolate gash. Just a fruit plate, please. All right. I'm cheating on my boyfriend with my gay BFFs. Threesome vibes. Fs. So that's plural. That's plural. Okay. Okay, well, we don't condone cheating, Sarah. No. But we appreciate your honesty. Absolutely. And this is a safe space. And I can see how you've got yourself in a pickle and you're trying to do better. and sort it out. Hi. We get to work. Work. Work this out. Corbin Blue, we love you. You're in London. Great gasp. I said we need to go and watch. I want to go watch.

16:31Corbin, come on the pod. Okay. Hi, lovelies. Lovelies. I'm a long time listener of the pod and I look forward to it every week. Thank you, Sarah. Thank you, Sarah. A couple of weeks ago, I watched your episode with the X-rated dilemmas and I thought, fuck it. Just write in. no judgment please never never judgment my dilemma started in 2021 oh five years four years ago oh it's been brewing for a long time so is this maybe you've had a i'm just obviously guessing is this maybe you've had a sexual relationship with your gay bffs for a while and then like you kind of got this boyfriend and it was kind of like oh we can't do that anymore but we still do But maybe we stop for a while, but then maybe we, you know.

17:17Yeah. I'm just assuming. I was going through a really bad breakup with my toxic ex of five years who kicked me out weeks after I'd been made redundant at work because of COVID. So I had no money to get myself a place. I had also moved hours away from my family, and I didn't want to ask anybody for help. Nope, man, nope, family. 16 in the middle of Miami. And you know what I was going to say then? He's a savage. He's a savage. It's not funny. Sorry, sorry, that's not funny. That's a really hard thing to go through. This is awful. So this was 2021. He kicked you out. I know I also moved far away from my family.

17:50I didn't want to ask anyone for help as everyone was also going through a time. After a week of living in my car, I asked my two best friends, a gay couple, if I could stay with them for a week. What a week it was. And what an orgasmic week it was. It was orgasmic. How was your week? How was your stay at your friends? Orgasmic. Climactic. how was your weekend orgasmic we should start saying how was your weekend orgasmic i could oh god all right fucking hell i don't want to hear about that how's that coffee oh it's orgasmic oh my god it's orgasmic yeah it's climatic yeah we should start saying that oh it was have an orgasmic week hi guys keep it orgasmic right so you moved in for a week with this gay with your gay best friends.

18:43You were a couple. I think they knew something was off even though I tried my best to hide it. Okay, so you didn't inform them of everything that happened. So they sat me down and made me tell them the truth. I appreciate that from them. Good friends. They told me to stay as long as I needed and to not stress too much about getting back on my feet, which ended up taking about six months. I found a job and started looking for a new place as I was feeling guilty that I'd been in their space for so long. But they again told me to stay until I have saved up a bit and that they enjoyed my company. So I lived with them for another nine months.

19:16Wow. So that was a long stint then. It was over a year. Yeah, over a year. In that time, we made it a ritual that every Friday night we'd have an orgasmic evening. I would just do that. Sorry. Every Friday night, we'd get together. Well, we'd get together. We'd get our vaginas together. Yeah. Wow. It really was orgasmic. One of us would cook and we'd have loads of wine, play card games and catch up. Oh, wait. Oh. I think it was just a get together. It was just a get together. We got together. It was just like, let's have a get together this weekend. But our bodies didn't join. Not yet. Dating was obviously, so it was just wine and card games.

19:59Okay. My bad. Dating, we're just waiting for the orgasmic night. Dating was obviously a topic of conversation and one day I told them I downloaded some dating apps but was looking for something casual as I was not ready for anything remotely serious. But a girl does have needs, you know? Okay. A girl's got to have an orgasmic night every once in a while. Brian then said, it's two men. It's two men. Sorry, why did I assume lesbians? Yeah. Oh my God, it's two men. Yeah. Fuck, my brain didn't go that way. Right, okay. So it's two men. Oh God, see, okay. So it's like us living with Mark and Kane. Yeah.

20:36If they were a couple. Absolutely. okay because what did because okay mark said at the end the end of the day like a vagina feel like that they can appreciate that a vagina would feel nice did he say that i don't know you've said this before and i can't confirm or deny he said i don't think i was there for the conversation i think he said that like like he he can't deny that like a vagina yeah like it would feel nice for his work for himself right but he's not attracted to it right and to the woman but like he can appreciate I'm definitely misquoting him you are you are misquoting Mark but like you know well it's just a hole at the end of the day exactly oh it's two men right right let's shift my mindset sorry right so Brian then said so you were saying look a girl's got needs I'm getting on the dating apps you know yeah Brian then said well oh my you could always join us if you ever feel like it so we just got a downright invitation okay I was stunned for a second but then I burst into laughter because at that point we were all pretty drunk and I did not think that he had an open relationship that they had an open relationship or that they were even interested in women that way so you just thought oh what a funny joke and also like we're both pretty we're all pretty drunk like I'm not really deeping that they started laughing too and we left it at that sexual tension starts to rise now I won't lie to you they are both very handsome I bet they are yeah I bet they are and I had not gotten laid for months so i did catch myself fantasizing a little no way i went on some dates but nothing ever came of them so the sexual frustration got worse and worse shit a few weeks later we had another friday yeah together um lots of wine was had and i heard brian and steve whisper to each other before sitting down across from me this time it was steve who bought the subject whisper what they're just like let's go for it let's get it tonight so obviously last time brian was one who said well join us everyone laughed now it's steve who's thinking like this is a good idea fuck so this time it was steve who bought the subject they told me how they wanted to have a proper conversation with me as they've been considering having a woman join them for a while and with me being around them for so much they couldn't imagine it being anyone else perfect So you've been officially invited into the sexual...

23:02Also, I'm sorry, biggest compliment ever. Two gay guys. Are you fucking joking? Yeah. I'd be unstoppable. Absolutely. My ego would get the biggest boost. Absolutely. Absolutely. So they were like, let's talk to her about this properly. Yeah, let's do it. We think you're the perfect fit for us. We've been speaking about it for a while. Yeah. Opening this up. Yeah, absolutely. Let's get entangled. Let's get sexually entangled, babe. Let's get climactic. Let's take this night to orgasmic. We think we could offer you an orgasmic evening. okay right and they said yeah they couldn't imagine it being with anyone else we had a very honest conversation about our doubts and what that would mean for our friendships this is a very yes good conversation very open there was a lot of sexual tension but i told them i didn't want to do anything while we were drunk so the next morning brian books is a weekend away straight away oh my god a weekend away no see now it feels too formal and now it feels too arranged i know but maybe because like they've been in that house now for over a year all of them it's probably quite nice to get out and also like have less let's go in a mutual bed or a mutual area yeah maybe that's what it is and then it's like then we don't have i don't know i i support them the night away for it being because we still need a bit of wine yeah it feels a bit formal to me i think i'd have just done it there and then when i was pissed i know but they're really thinking it through what does this need for our friendship.

24:26You know what? So Brian got straight to it, booked us a week and away. I was so nervous the entire week and almost backed out because I was so scared that I built it up so much because it's too many. Well, now it's planned and there's anticipation and I know that it's happening now. Yeah. This is what, yeah, this is where it would freak me out. But I appreciate it's probably way better this way than it being a drunken night because it's like, what just happened? We've not spoken about this. Did they want that? Did they just do it because they were drunk? You know what I mean? but this is being like Oh yeah because I imagine if they've been in a long term relationship this is quite a big step for them Yeah and something they've been speaking about for a while Brian's taking it serious to let someone else into the relationship that's a really big And for them to be happy that it's you Yeah I'd be so honoured Yeah so guys Really?

25:11Really? Maybe? Let's get it on Let's get it on Okay so you were you were really nervous Yeah I would be nervous too I'd be shit Just like what's everyone's role? Yeah because it's two willies one vagina Yeah you know like so overwhelming i'm overwhelmed so i was just so scared that i built built it up so much in my head that it could only be a letdown at best okay so you're just thinking what what is gonna happen it's the unknown it's the fear of the unknown and also you're thinking like respectfully these are two gay guys so they know how the vagina works respectfully mark respectfully mark like you know that would that would be a concern surely am i really gonna have an orgasmic night because this might be your first experience but they they're probably aiming to please you you know this is new and exciting and sexually exciting to please yeah however the weekend could definitely show you a thing or two the weekend came around and it definitely was not we didn't leave the bedroom until late sunday night all weekend did you eat Sarah you must be starving did you get a chance for a bite to eat okay we felt so comfortable immediately and we weren't shy to bring up things that we wanted to do so we all we just all tried loads of new things and because they'd never been with a woman before they were eager to learn I knew they were I knew they'd be eager to please eager to learn where's the clip Sarah let me find it they were eager to learn what felt good for me and yeah I bet they were you're like a science experiment get that times two yeah especially after my needs being an afterthought for my ex right it's just orgasmic it's all eyes on you I didn't want to impose on their alone time as a couple but they asked me to join at least twice a week whoa so so now okay the sexual the weekend's gone by but now it's twice a week we're getting it off now we're doing it at home as well well yeah yeah and after i moved out our friday meetups would always end up in the bedroom okay so you had this routine you're in a sexual relationship this is fun i fear but obviously it's it let's not forget her her yeah i love that you found this arrangement this is pretty perfect yeah but yeah okay so this continued until i met my new boyfriend at the end of 2022 oh that was quite a while so we've been hooking up for almost a year she said my boyfriend treats me but we're in 2025 so this happened from 2021 to 2022 in 2022 she met her boyfriend remember her her lie you do yeah it was that she's been cheating on her boyfriend so obviously she found herself back in the sexual endeavors okay so well yes well those two guys put me first you don't put me first exactly and i bet no other sexual experience can compare to that because you've been used to yeah you know two people yeah making sure you are eager to please you and who find you new and exciting exactly exactly so this continued up until i met my new boyfriend at the end of 2022 we'd been hooking up for almost a year my boyfriend treats me so well he's so funny and kind and all my friends and family love him we talk about growing old together a lot everything is perfect except our sex life typical typical when he needs the lessons from the gay guys you see look it's not that it was bad it's because you've had the most climactic of climactic you've had orgasmic evenings you know with two men's attention on you you can't compete he he truly can't but it's like we're gonna have to bring him in to learn yeah he's gonna have to watch yeah or yeah he can bring in and just get hands on so it was not it's not that it's bad we do have chemistry and he's very attentive to me and open to try new things, but it was just not cutting it for me.

29:10Wow. On several occasions, I had to stop myself from saying Brian and Steve's names because I was thinking about them rather than my boyfriend. Wow. Last year... Okay. Oh, gosh. I wasn't expecting this. What? I'm nervous. Last year, Brian told me they'd slept with another woman and I was seething with jealousy. The gay guys. Well, obviously because she's got a boyfriend now. Oh my God, of course. And they must really have enjoyed having a woman in the bedroom. And you're jealous. Yeah, I would be too. I'd be seething. Yeah, she said I was seething with jealousy. Oh my God. At the end of January, it was Steve's birthday and he had a little get together with friends.

29:59My boyfriend was away for work, so I went on my own. I'm ashamed to admit I intentionally made sure I stayed until everyone left I helped clean up and then one thing led to another I'm still sleeping with them as I'm writing in aren't we like two years later we're three years in a relationship it's so easy to hide it from my boyfriend because he's used to me staying at theirs after yeah it's like you're staying with your gay besties yeah nothing's gonna happen like no one is no one's thinking anything no one is thinking anything that is so easy it's the perfect so it's the perfect life because he's used to me staying theirs after i drink and he obviously thinks there's no reason to be suspicious because they're my gay besties i've also been enjoying our sex life way more because i'm not missing what i got from steve and brian anymore and don't get distracted and frustrated thinking about them right so you're actually right and he even pointed out that i seem to be way more into it and up for it recently and I blamed it on my hormones changing oh god on one hand I feel so guilty that I'm going behind my boyfriend's back and I know it needs to stop but my brain keeps telling me what it doesn't know when I am especially because he's happy that our sex life has significantly improved so it's somewhat you're in dangerous territories so yeah you're in dangerous yeah because she said so it somewhat has it's having a positive impact on our relationship so that's how you're kind of justifying it being a positive Brian and Steve aren't helping either they said they'd accept it if I put an end to it but if not they swore to take it to the grave because they can't imagine not having our arrangement anymore and that it wasn't the same with another woman well that was a good feeling which really fed my ego to be perfectly honest it would anyone Sarah even if I stop I don't think I'd have the courage to tell my boyfriend because I'm so scared I'll lose him.

31:56I feel like the most greedy and selfish bitch on the planet and I'm in desperate need of some tough love. Love, Sarah. Shit.

32:08I don't think we've ever had this before, do you? No! We've never had this before. What is it that the Bryans are doing that your boyfriend is not? Everything. Is it? Everything. Yeah, but what? is it kind of the excitement and the danger and the adrenaline that is making sex with the bryans that bit more exciting yeah and is it that there's no commitment here is it that yeah they are like i'm like your fun toy like yeah because they're used to having sex just the two of them all the time so then when you the days when you do come in it's like oh my god this is a fun night this is exciting so then it makes you feel good because you're like oh my god i'm a shiny toy there was no like you guys felt so comfortable from the off you taught them everything they needed to know about what you like and your body you know you probably laid it all out yeah and then there's two of them on you at one like it must be insane here and maybe you never you know with your boyfriend maybe you never like laid it out for him yeah yeah because it's not you know because it was like it's not you know it's a bit more like yeah do you know what i mean it's not a formal if it's an arrangement yeah like the first time you and your boyfriend had sex you probably were like right so i like this yeah do you know what i mean whereas with the with the bryans with the k bryans yeah they they wanted to learn they're like so teachers yeah and it was me a diagram it was like class classes in session sit down take a seat well i think but she's really scared to lose her brian her boyfriend but i think he must be the one for you at the end of the day keep doing this arrangement with your gay besties for as long as you need do you think and just get out the relationship or is it or do you think it's like a no the this relate this this arrangement is isn't healthy and you need you need to stop and you need to to be locked in for your boyfriend or another partner I think it's really tricky because like is it going to is it going to be detrimental I don't know to any other future relationships you have because you've got this but then but then it's like maybe you need a boyfriend who who is going to be okay to be welcomed into this sexual arrangement that's what I'm thinking yeah what make it foursome yeah to be honest like you yeah like maybe you want an open relationship if you never want to lose this sexual arrangement with the gay brides maybe you need a sexual arrangement even though it's a bit more like a bit less traditional.

34:39Yeah, a bit more free. And a bit more open, a bit more free. Because it's like you don't want to lose your Brian. I'm thinking, I mean, will Brian be open to getting involved? I don't think so. Your boyfriend, Brian? You don't think so? No. I don't think so. Right. So maybe we do need someone who would be open for that. Whether you want to. But do the Bryans want another man there? Probably not. Probably not because they're a couple. They're a couple. of course i haven't considered that i my only concern is is this is your situation with the bryans is is it kind of thing like you've got everything that you're ever going to get from it now like it's a wild story to tell you had a great time she's still craving itself and it's getting better about every time it's she she's like is it still serving you i guess it is because you're enjoying it the sex with brian she was frustrated she was angry it wasn't hitting she was fantasized she was stopping herself from saying Brian and Steve's names.

35:38I know. And the moment she got her... Well, then you're going to have to break up with your boyfriend because at the end of the day, Sarah, you're cheating on your boyfriend and that's not nice. Imagine if he was cheating on you with his two girl, as he made it to a lesbian. Yeah. At the end of the day, even though these are like gay guys and whatever, it feels a bit more innocent because they're a couple and I'm just like the add-in. You are cheating on your boyfriend. you are having sex with other men and your boyfriend doesn't know about it. If this were reverse, you'd be destroyed. You'd be heartbroken.

36:12So I think if your boyfriend means that much to you and you love him and you want to be with him and yada, yada, yada, you're going to have to come clean and you're going to have to cut off this arrangement. But if you think, I don't want to cut it off. I want to keep going with Brian. Then you need to dump your boyfriend. It's one or the other. you can't keep having both because it's not healthy it's not working like yes it's working but right now it's working because it's all a secret and you're gonna start stressing yourself out you're gonna start you know it's when you're harboring such a secret it's not healthy for you yeah like i understand that you think well i'm getting away with it at the moment and like he's not suspicious but it's like yeah okay you're getting away with it but it doesn't mean you're not doing anything wrong you are cheating on your boyfriend and if if your boyfriend if this sex is so great with these guys and you're not ready to give it up and you're not ready to let go that's fine and just dump your boyfriend and you can keep going and you can keep going with this arrangement because it sounds like sex with your boyfriend is just like filler sex yeah you see them on friday night and that's when you really get going yeah so and i think surely you know there is someone else out there who's going to be able to give you to fulfill your sexual desires as Brian and Steve do you know I mean for you to not have to crave sex with them I don't know yeah surely like obviously Brian is just it's just not hitting with your boyfriend and that's fine but you shouldn't really it's not normal to be in a relationship and be craving um sex and touch and intimacy with with others with others so I would just let your boyfriend off the hook there's plenty of men out there plenty of fish in the sea I believe you know also like I would speak to the Bryans about it well they said look tell him we don't care we'll keep take to the grave if not I know that's what they've said but I'll speak to your Bryans like do you think there's a guy out there who would like who would be able to like they're a sounding board they're your friends they've known you for a long time you could say like you've obviously got a very close relationship obviously very close relationship quite a beautiful relationship really yeah there's real closeness like really you could just be a three a thruple i know and it would probably work dare i say i mean you've lived together before and it seemed pretty seamless yeah you know pregnant by brown one year pregnant by steve another i don't see no problem with that but but then let's see how that goes but they they just want a sexual relationship with a woman yeah because they they replaced sarah when she left and i think that's what ignited sarah to be like oh wait i'm jealous i miss that i miss them yeah so i think there's still more to be explored with brian and steve i do it's not a finished chapter you're not ready to let them go no and maybe it can develop into maybe you were all in love with each other seriously like i do think there's you know you couldn't stay away from them that much you know that must say something yeah because i'd like to think that you would meet someone like if you were dating yeah you'd meet a guy and then you would be so enamored by him and you would be so enamored very big word and you would be so like oh my god this is great that like you just aren't craving that you would never think of brian and steve thing anymore yeah because it's like the chemistry with your new boyfriend would be electric it'd be off the charts yeah and you'd feel like you'd invented sex yeah and they'll just be good memories yeah from a sexual time so I don't think the relationship is right me neither and like the poor thing he thinks you know you're much happier these days I know he's like oh you're way more satisfied I know you know the poor thing you're gonna have to be brave Sarah because you could easily keep going you've got a situation going here that's working for you you need to break up because but you need to you need to get this let this man free your boyfriend Brian is not the one for you I fear good luck bonne chance bonne chance what a unique situation what an entanglement mark wouldn't want to have sex with us he's repulsed by us he would never want to touch us with bargepole but he took he body blurs us he does puts body glow on all the nook and crannies

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42:46right okay we've got here my parents said my boyfriend looks happier without me like do you hate me savage well she's a savage mom's a savage but like do you hate me mom and dad why would you tell me that like do you want to break my heart why would you tell me that like like if my mom said that to me i'm like what are you saying that for now you've just made me like you've just broken my heart babe they've been together for three years oh my god he definitely looks happy without you Sarah. You fucking what mate? I am 22. My Brian is 26. For a bit of context me and Brian have been round and slept to each other's houses for a long long time so our parents know our partners and see them quite a lot.

43:30I'm also very outgoing. I love to have a few drinks with Brian and friends in our local or you know out and about. The other day me and my went out for drinks and she mentioned how she and my dad saw my boyfriend out for drinks with his mates. This is nasty. Like, mum, dad, like, this is actually nasty. If you're about to say what I think you're about to say. P.S. I knew he was out with his mates. I knew they'd bump into each other. And she mentioned how happy he looked to be out with his friends. She even mentioned that he looked happier than he usually looks when he comes round to see me what a weird thing to say mom like what do you mean by that babes i didn't think much at first but then i thought about us in our relationship brian always tends to be happier or more talkative with his friends than with me one on one oh okay right so this is actually thinking back it's been this way for a good year or so but since my mum mentioned it I've never noticed oh so this is actually a thing that you're kind of noticing now as well well now your mum said that it's making you reflect right I'm unsure if this is just me overthinking which I am prone to do but since mine and my mum's conversation I've thought back and noticed that even when we go away just the two of us it's not the same vibe as when his friends are around for example he's not as joking or laughing you know unless he's like with me is having a few drinks please help me since mine and my mom's conversation i've been thinking that maybe this is a me issue i have a lot of love for my brian and i can see a future with him just to add my parents love brian and his parents but i'm currently in the situation of buying a house and he's fully down to live in my house and you know contribute to the bills so because of this i don't know if i'm overthinking any advice would be greatly appreciated this is an interesting So he's not like joking.

45:23This is all lovely Brian and Sarah. Oh, let's see. Sarah look absolutely beautiful. This is Sarah. She looks good. Sarah, beautiful. We look like sisters. Yeah, I was going to say, she's giving Baylor solo. This is Brian. Oh, Brian. Don't break my heart, Brian. No. You're so cute. So cute. Oh, you guys. You look really cute. Yeah, so it's like your boyfriend's not cracking jokes, laughing up a storm, chatty chatty chatty yeah but then is it just one of those things when it's like well when we're with mates like it's normal that we're going to be a bit more like because there's a lot of people there like maybe we're out we're doing different things and then like when it's just us two like we're a bit more chilled it's a bit more like calm yeah like maybe he feels really like he doesn't need to be but but what does she say he's not like making conversation though no i don't think she said he wasn't making conversation i think she just said yeah just saying when we're just the two of us it's not the same vibe as when he you know his friends are around he's not as joking or laughing and you can have a different vibe but but then if he's not being himself it's like a difference do you know what i mean it's like so who or is that just two different i think that's just different social settings of his personality yeah i think it's different social settings yeah he's just like with his lads yeah cracking up a band yeah and your mum saw him from across the bum and thought fucking hell he's happy yeah he's not cracking jokes like that when he comes around and he's my right oh yeah it's a different atmosphere it is a different i wouldn't deep it i wouldn't deep that i wouldn't i wouldn't deep that but i understand that you're well just the thing is it's like don't compare how he may be with friends think about how you feel when you two are together just one-on-one how does it make you feel you know do you have fun are you having fun are you having good chats yeah um is he asking you you know how do you feel in those moments when it's just the two of you having boyfriend girlfriend time i imagine that he would look quite different on a saturday night five pints in at the pub yeah than he does sat at your mom's table having a chicken roast absolutely absolutely there's gonna be a different vibe but i i wouldn't even think about that i think just think how you feel when you two are together yeah how does he make you feel how do you feel about the conversation in your guys's vibe and if you're happy with that and like he then there's not a problem and it's also not like you never see you've never seen this laughter side of him like when you're out with his mates this is exactly that this is yeah this is it i think it i think that's just different social settings yeah we would be if we were out with friends we're gonna it'd be more like meh meh meh meh meh where if it's just us who sat over there we're going to be a bit more chill yeah and being influenced by different people around you it's just normal I think that's just a different I wouldn't I wouldn't overthink that person no I like I said just evaluate as long as when you and Brian are together you feel happy yeah like you're having fun good chats that's that's the only thing that matters yeah whatever your mum's saying or however you're overthinking it that doesn't matter it's just however you feel when you're together if you feel like no we do have fun I have loads of them where we're with Brian yeah because if you were thinking that he's fucking miserable around me.

48:35Yeah, exactly. Then that's a different story. Stuff like that. If you're thinking, well, yeah, actually, he never gets off his phone when we're together. Then it's like, oh, okay, maybe this is actually a thing. But if you're like, no, we have great, we talk, we laugh, we share things, we have a great time, then there's nothing to worry about. But yeah, if it's like, oh, his head's in his phone and his grunts and his... He never wants to do anything. He never wants to go out. He doesn't want to go... Then, obviously, there's more to it. But good luck, Sarah. Good luck, Sarah.

49:09Okay. It is girls' holiday season. Is this full swing? Full, full swing. Zanti, Malaga, Ibiza. Ibiza, Marbella. It's happening. Barcelona. Barcelona. And we've got here, he can't trust me on my girls' holiday. And I don't blame him. Say it, Sarah. You can't fucking trust me. I'm not luring you in and I know false pretenses break up with me then and tell you can't be trusted hi girls I love love love the pod my best friend and I have listened to it every single week for the past year thank you Sarah thank you girls I've thought about writing in dilemmas before but I'm desperate for some help with the situation I'm in right now with my bride wait why can't you be trusted I don't know and I need some advice from my favourite frontal lobe girls so me and my bride imagine if you said to your boyfriend i can't trust you and he went yeah i won't trust me either yeah blame you i would hope in that collapse on the spot we would all just not say anything get up and leave you know it's not even worth a conversation wait what's she gonna say i know i don't know so me and my brian have been seeing each other for about two months oh it's fresh we're not official but we have had the exclusive chat so you are official you are so that is like we're not talking or seeing or sleeping or doing nothing with no one else and we're both confident this could be a long-term thing this is great i'm honestly so happy with brian he makes me feel so valued and secure the hiccup is that i made the hiccup i like that the hiccup is that i made a huge mistake a couple of weeks ago.

50:56That's completely knocked us back and changed our dynamic. Oh shit, what did you do, Sarah? For a bit of background. In the past, I've been a bit of a party girl, which I didn't realise until being with Brian. I would go out every single weekend, drink loaves, and a few times have slept with someone on the night out. I'm not saying this is a bad thing or that I regret it. This is all normal, Sarah. But I definitely over-normalised one night stands and kind of diminish the meaning of intimacy in my own eyes okay in the last year or so i've definitely settled down i don't go out as often but unfortunately when i do we still fall into old habits and i do go a bit boy crazy i had shared this with brian very early on in our relationship and he did express a lot of judgment towards my body count fuck off brian boobs right okay uh you were fucking bragging about yours on our first date so literally and said it sounded like I lack self-respect.

51:53Like your partner? He's very fucking confident to say all of this to your fucking face. Because I'd be like, okay, well, fuck off then. Sounds like you lack self-respect. Yeah, that's a fuck off. Like you were doing what you wanted to do at the time, Sarah, no judgment. Like you were a young girl, you know, experimenting and having fun. And for him to say, well, it sounds like you're like, oh, well, I'm a bit concerned about your body count. What the fuck is your body count? Yeah. Do you know what I mean? like okay you know value doesn't equate you know low body count or high body you know it shouldn't be that way no I definitely felt a bit judged unnecessarily but in all honesty he kind of hit the nail on the head we kind of squashed that convo but I could tell it was a massive massive thing for him as he had only slept with girlfriends and sees sex as a very big deal which I really respect and wish I'd been more like that in the past last week I went out with my friends for the first time since me and Brian have been seeing each other I was still in contact with him all night messaging sending him pics his messages started getting really dry and he kept making comments that I'm probably flirting with people and drinking those don't piss me don't piss me off because I'm gonna start replying to you because why are you that's trying this is what this is what shit boyfriends do yeah they do you're going out with your mates I'm trying to be well behaved and like message you like yeah we're just walking in like just heading in like i'm being a respectful girlfriend and you're being mardy with me so that now i'm spending my whole night worrying about you yeah when i just want to be having fun you've ruined my night because you're being mardy and you're doing it on purpose so that i'm worrying about yeah he's ruined your night on purpose yeah you're having to text him and overcompensate and i don't i hate that yeah ruin it that's what they do that's classic shit boyfriend behaviour that's what they do they want to ruin your time because they don't want to see you having a good time without them okay so his messages start getting really dry yeah and he kept making all those stupid comments etc obviously making a dig about my behaviour in the past I snapped back saying that that's not the case and it's a shame he feels he has to put something rude just for some reassurance and I didn't exactly it's because he feels insecure yeah he's insecure I didn't think him using something about me that I didn't really need to share as a way to make me feel bad was very respectful.

54:15So you said, okay. So it's like, I actually didn't need to tell you any of that. Like I didn't need to divulge any information about my party girl, Charlie XCX365 Live. Yeah. And now you're using it against me. Yeah. So we had a little squabble. Then he left me unopened and went to sleep. I was pretty drunk at this point and I just decided to meet it with my friend, Sarah's boyfriend and his friends that were out in the same area as us. After spending a couple of hours with them, one of them let's call him Steve was expressing a lot of interest in me I'd mentioned earlier on that night that I was seeing someone and told everyone all the juicy details as the night went on Brian was kind of slipping my mind as I was trying to put him and the argument out of my head so I could just enjoy my night as he'd upset me over these messages I may have let him slip my mind a little bit too much one thing led to another and i mean this guy doesn't sound like the one for you to be honest this guy sounds like a twat anyway but yeah absolutely he doesn't deserve that this one thing led to another and the whole group went to an afters at a uni house oh nothing good happens after two sarah after two sarah nothing good happens after two are you coming to the afters no we're all sat together on the couches drinking and talking get out of there sarah next thing i know steve ended up kissing me i did kiss him back for a couple of seconds then i pulled away asked my friends if we could leave oh oh i got home and i cried myself to sleep because i felt so oh okay well sorry happened yeah i know i thought i thought you were gonna have took it all the way yeah what's that song all the sparks fly like the 4th of july jason darula yeah in the beginning i never thought it would be you wait let's get to the line where he says take it off and we're going to take me to the other yeah we're going all the way tonight okay see hi snog and she instantly regretted it went home uh cried myself to sleep because I felt so awful that I kissed someone else or just let it happen because I was slightly annoyed at Brian.

56:36I never questioned whether or not to tell him because I couldn't keep something like that from him. I ended up telling him the next day he was pissed. Good girl, Sarah. Well done. Yeah, well done. That's really brave. Really brave. And said - He was pissed. Yeah, he was pissed. Well, you should be saying Marty next time I go out. Joking. Joking. Joking. No, yeah, joking. That is master manipulative behavior. Never condone, never condone. But you did the right thing. You came straight to him at the end. Yeah. He said I'd completely broken his trust. I apologised. And also kind of pleaded my case that I wouldn't have gone in for the kiss if it just took me a second to clock into what was happening.

57:14But as soon as I did, I was mortified that we left. We talked about it. You did leave straight after, to be fair. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I cheated on you. Oh, did you leave straight after? Oh, that's all right. That's all right. Did you cry? That's all right then. i'm sorry i wasn't in a bad mood yeah you did piss me off watch out next time don't leave me on red again yeah oh sarah but i right okay you know it's awful this is awful so we talked about it for about an hour then decided it would be better to talk in person good um then the next day he drove to mine and i went and sat in his car to talk about everything i explained that i was unbelievably sorry and that you know i just slipped back into old habits i'm right okay you know i've never had a proper boyfriend or someone to act a certain way for i've always kind of been able to do whatever i wanted and the only expense was me i've genuinely never felt so guilty or sorry about anything and i've had a pit in my stomach ever since i've hurt him and especially because he already had issues with trust after being cheated on in the past right okay when we talked in his car i cried a lot i think he could tell i was genuinely sorry he said i have one more chance and that was starting completely over.

58:26Fast forward to now, we're getting back on track. Okay, this is great. I think the whole thing woke me up a bit about how much I like this boy and I could 100 % see him being my first love. I just can't stand that I did something like that and kind of tainted the relationship and ruined how special it was to a degree. I think we can definitely get back to where we were and he said we can too if the trust can come back. I know I could never do anything like that to him again because I genuinely felt nauseous for days. Not to mention, I'm kind of traumatized from the whole thing because of the rollercoaster of emotions that caused.

59:01Oh, Sarah, you really went through it. The nausea. It's the nausea for me. I'm sorry, Sarah. Yeah. Me and my Brian have been great this week. I've had him over and cooked dinner for him and went to his friend's birthday with him. I went to watch him play football. And it's been a lovely week. And he's sleeping around this weekend before I go on holiday on Tuesday. This is what I need some advice on. It's the next bump to overcome. It's the next hiccup. Might be a burp this time. Girls holiday. It was booked ages ago with every intention of it being a party holiday. I wonder where she's going. Obviously, we can do a party holiday without getting with anyone, but it is obviously the culture.

59:46And Brian is very aware and worried about that. He's told me that he's never felt this way about anyone and he couldn't and he couldn't end it if there was any chance we could get back on track because he thinks that what we have is so special and I agree I know I will be the definition of loyal you've got this Sarah you've got this seriously I know I will be the definition of what a sentence I will be the definition of loyal yeah I like that because at this point I really do only have eyes for him but understandably Brian will still worry the whole time I imagine he would always think I'm cheating and anyway I would always be worrying that he's thinking I'm cheating so the real this is written really well let's take me again so it's just like yeah we're just gonna be too worried you know just too worried people right so the reality is is that I probably won't enjoy this holiday that I paid a lot of money for no no but I you you need to enjoy it Sarah you'll be fine you need to like I don't want you to like no man is gonna let you I don't want this man to hold you back from enjoying your whole holiday even though you did do him wrong I guess sorry yeah don't let him hold you back no I know but but I can't speak but just to enjoy it you say i can't you know what what you're not gonna enjoy something with a lovely breakfast on the beach i mean i have to say if i guess it's different because this man is actually not your boyfriend you're exclusive yeah but if a boyfriend had a snug at a party if my boyfriend snogged someone at a party i'd be like well are you fuck going on your lad's holiday of course you're not you're joking what am I mug yeah I'd say you're absolutely you're cancelling that you're not going yeah but this man's not your boyfriend you're exclusive yeah and also I'm saying who the fuck is this guy so really like I'm I'm gonna say go and have a good time why should you not go and let your hair down go and have fun look Sarah I know it doesn't mean you have to sleep with people and kiss people but you can go and go crazy with your girlfriends we've still got more to read but not to throw a spanner in the works here Sarah is he that is he like that i know you're saying like you could really see yourself falling in love with him and all this is he that fucking worth it like he was giving you all that stress all that judgment as well all that judgment like remember that that's that is nasty stuff to say i fear that we've kind of that you've kind of normalized oh yeah whatever you know and i fear that's like red red flags that you're ignoring and like the whole him being mardy with you on that night out you you've not done anything he had no reason to doubt you you know he does now though right sorry and i fear that you're going to regret ruining this holiday for this twat because you know what i'm worried about you know because like i definitely you know those twats i dated that have probably you know ruined things for me you think oh yeah sake i was seeing that fucking idiot who got in my head and ruined that for me yeah and i don't want to be that i don't want to you know freak you out but i just feel as though this is going to be something you're going to look back and go oh that fucking twat ruined that fucking holiday for me I know pissed off I know and I know I thought the same but I didn't want to say it well and I know obviously it's hard to see now because when you're in it you're in it you know and it's like you feel like this is the love of my life like I'm going to be with this guy you know and you might be but you did say hello the frontal lobe girls that's what we're here for it sounds like your prefrontal lobe Sarah no offense no judgment was this the frontal lobe girl yeah right yeah well that was a dilemma before I think or am I just yeah for my favourite frontal lobe girls yeah she did say that so well this is just some frontal because pre our frontal lobe yeah boys were ruining our holidays too they were what i mean ruining things for us yeah and i just feel like birthday night sal yeah ruining all sorts of shit something's already you know a major fuck-ups happened you know it's what it is sarah like that it happened i just feel like it's he's not and also he's not worth it i don't think he's worth all of this i don't what i don't especially after all those comments sorry i know i've not finished it yet but also what i don't want you to do Sarah is now start pandering to this boy and you're panicking like you owe him the world yeah and you're trying to prove to him that oh no I am like I do like you and do you like me too still oh I hope you do like you're trying to prove yourself do you know what I mean he's kind of do you know what I'm trying to say like I feel like he's probably been like oh well I should probably have broken it with you like I don't trust you until you gain my trust will I treat you well.

1:04:33I also don't want, and like, he may not be like this and we may be thinking the absolute worst of him, but I also don't want him to hold this over you forever because at the end of the day, yes, you were wrong. You kissed someone else when you were exclusive. Yeah, that is your fault. That was your mistake. But he has also chosen to forgive you. So if he's going to choose to forgive you that does not mean that he can then bring this up and throw it back in your face at later dates that does not mean that he has now has a pass to go out and be a shitty boyfriend because you did this one wrong thing in the beginning because he chose to forgive you if you're going to choose to forgive you've got to choose to forget and we've got to move on from it and like you said start afresh so I don't want him also like holding this over you yeah holding it over you and i fear he he is like and being like well don't go too crazy because we know you what happens when you drink alcohol like shit like that like if we're gonna forget i've said i'm sorry you could have broken up with me you could have chosen never see me again you've said that you want to be with me and you want to keep seeing me so we have to move on but it's not fair in either of us and like you're dreading the girl's holiday because of maybe how he's going to react on text you know the messages you're going to receive the paranoia you're going to feel you know from him and that is not a healthy dynamic no so i imagine he will always be thinking i'm cheating and anyway i will always be worrying that he thinks i am cheating yeah so the reality is is that i probably won't enjoy this holiday holiday that i've paid a lot of money for and more importantly i feel like brian will drive himself crazy yeah i think he's gonna drive you i think it's gonna be this he's going to be so on at you and panicky and paranoid this whole week you're away i think it's gonna be a really unhealthy dynamic i think it's gonna be mardy he's gonna want you to have a shit time so that you come back and say i had a shit time i did i didn't kiss any boys obviously obviously you know what i mean he he wants this to be a shit holiday for you he does and low-key you kind of want it to be a shit holiday for you as well so that you can come back and say i had a shit time obviously i didn't talk to no boys here i am you know what i mean to try and i've redeemed myself to try and redeem yourself to try and prove yourself but that is not a healthy dynamic you know and i just don't know how to reassure him yeah so it's like if you can't trust i don't think we're going to get that trust back if there's nothing i can do to reassure you we're going to have to leave it here because there is physically nothing i can do the only thing that would that would maybe help it is time yeah time and prudent but how do you even reassure someone like you can't so do you girls have have any advice on how i can reassure him before i go and any way i can make sure he knows how much i really am all for him and also how to reassure him while i'm there so he doesn't worry the whole time thanks girls i've attached a picture of brian and me and also some separate bitches of us sorry they're separate we don't have any nice ones together yet right that's funny this is sarah this is like a cute little selfie they've took in bed oh cute little cuddle vibes you're beautiful sarah oh this is brian on the football pitch yeah very nice little leg tat yeah i mean i do think we've covered a lot of it but like yeah it's that thing like well i've made a mistake we're going to move on from it like he is not allowed to hold this over you for the rest of time because he's chosen to forgive you.

1:08:20So if he can't, if he is holding it against you, then it's that thing of like, okay, well, clearly you haven't really forgiven me and I don't think we're going to be able to move on. So we should end our relationship here because yeah, the trust has been broken. You have broken the trust and it, yeah, it is very hard to get that back. So it's almost like, well, it's only been a couple of months it shall we just park it here and move on and sarah i hate i hate to say this i really do but i don't think he's got the emotional maturity to for to forgive you and trust you again i don't think he does the fact that he was acting like that and in brian's in brian's like in to be in brian's corner yeah i wouldn't trust you like i wouldn't trust my boyfriend either meaning if i've been dating him for a couple months but i really liked him he then went to kiss someone else i'd be thinking well you're defo gonna sleep with him on this holiday like i'm i'm not i'm not really i'm not trusting you at all because you've already fucked up and it's been a couple months and we're supposed to be in honeymoon land because for relationships to recover from cheating which is what's happened here it takes a tremendous effort yeah i i could i can't even imagine how you could move on from that and i just feel like he is not emotionally there to be able to actually realize and i what i just think as well like you guys as a couple aren't really there it's so new yeah it's not like you've got you know five years behind you i just think you've got this and that i just think like is it is it worth it i don't know i i don't think you're gonna be able to like We've got baggage now.

1:09:59We've got complications. We've got a trust issue now. And also he was already going cold on you, dry on you, Mardy at you before this had even happened. So I got - Every time you went out. Every time you went out. So I'm thinking, God forbid what's going to happen when you go on this girl's holiday. It's going to be an absolute nightmare for you, Sarah. It's going to be a nightmare. It's going to be a nightmare. He's going to ruin this trip for you. I think you need to cut this man loose. I think it's not going to work. I don't think it's going to work. I think it's been doomed from the beginning.

1:10:24Sarah, I don't. And just know, just know. Okay. That was a learning experience. I made a mistake. I made a mistake, whatever. I'm not going to punish myself for it. You know, it happened. You told him immediately after, you apologized. You moved, you poured your heart out. You moved on. You do genuinely regret it. You tried to recover the relationship. Wasn't to happen. But I don't think he's the one for you. I think there's plenty of fish in the sea. I think focus on you. Go on this holiday. Have fun. And like he's, because he's already, no boyfriend should ruin things he's doubting you already yeah exactly he can't even believe a word you say you know and it's like you're thinking asking this how can i reassure you can't i fear there's nothing you can do or say because he's what can you do i don't know what you can do sarah i think i mean if you don't want to let this guy go and if you do really like him and i appreciate it's very easy for us to be here like I'll sack him off but when you're in that thing when you're in it you're in it and this is your guy and whatever the only thing you can do is go on your holiday have a lovely time with your friends let your hair down have fun whatever obviously don't be intimate with anyone come home you've done a girl's holiday you've been faithful like you what did she say loyal to a definition of loyal you're gonna be the definition of loyal you're that's how you prove it.

1:11:52Like actions speak louder than words. There's only so much gift of the gab you can say. It's like, look, like I'm not worried. Like I'm really excited to go with my girlfriends. That's going to be really fun. I'm really, have quality time with the girls. Like I'm all about you and you'll see that when I get back home. And that's the only thing. What I'm scared for is that he'd be like, I don't believe. Yeah, so am I. But she's not going to break up with him. Of course. I'm trying to give another alternative. Yeah, I'm just scared that he's not going to, anything you say, he's, he's, He's going to think you're lying.

1:12:20He's going to think something happened. He's going to be paranoid. He's going to think, yeah, you got off to something. Well, then it's like, well, clearly we can't have a relationship because this isn't going to work. Look, Sarah, if you don't want to break up with him before this trip, please promise me that if after this girl's holiday, it was a nightmare, your trip was ruined, it was arguments, it was him not hearing you, you know, because I know you're going to be loyal on this trip, you know. You're going to be definitely loyal. Exactly, because you've said it. I believe you. And I know you've made a mistake.

1:12:46And I know you like this guy. but if you go on this trip and it's a nightmare he's making you cry it's ruined everyone's like oh my god what's up with you know please and he doesn't believe you when he thinks you've cheated please break up with him please just break up with him don't try and prove yourself don't try and you know because it's just not it's not gonna work no it's not gonna work and he's gonna hold it over you he can't punish you for this forever no if he's chosen to forgive you he has to act like he's forgiven you yeah good luck good luck Sarah right it is our time for our favourite part of the episode where we give our Star of the Week some love.

1:13:22And it's rock on this week. And this week, I mean, she's put here King of the Week nomination. Sarah, it is Star of the Week but we'll let you have King because you've said it. That's a big claim, alright? Could you give a massive shout out to my absolute king, Brian? This has been written in from Millie. Millie? Millie. Oh, Millie. So, Brian and I, I think we're keeping Brian anonymous but Brian and I have recently moved in together. He's let me decorate our home exactly how I like it. Good. Driven me around to endless shops and being patient with me while it's taken hours to pick out a single basket from home bargains.

1:13:55He walks me to the station in the morning before work. Good. And I find dinner at me when I get in from the office. As you should. He does all of this while crushing his own goals like a man on a mission. Honestly, the full package and I couldn't ask for more. Please hand him a crown. It's a star, but we'll give you a star. oh well that shout out to our brian brian you're making millie very happy i especially appreciate the walks to the station because like that safety comes first brian and i would like a walk home as well me too if we're really gonna give you that crown but you can definitely have a star of the week thank you brian and millie thank you guys so much for listening happy wednesday we hope you enjoy the rest of your week if you would like a bonus episode you can have one every single monday over on Patreon.

1:14:46Absolutely. We do two episodes a week. Absolutely. Monday and Wednesday, guys. Monday and Wednesday. And you can email your Dilemmas and your Star of the Week or King of the Week entries to hello at thegirlsbathroom.com. You can. You can follow us on Instagram, TikTok, and on YouTube, please. We love you. Bye. Bye.