Boy Talk: My HUSBAND... or a CATFISH!?!

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1:29We are here live and direct. Live and direct in the girls' bathroom. We've got Miss Blueby. It's the three best friends. You know what Mark was calling her yesterday? Blue balls. Blue balls. It's got to ruin it, hasn't it? He has to make it so... He has to make it just... What's the word? Vulgar. Yeah, vulgar's the word. Everything that comes out of Mark Hayhurst's mouth is vulgar. Yeah? my sweet little precious innocent little baby girl is being referred to as blue balls like he should get his own blue balls checked out I think we are also fresh off the back of a seafood boil experience okay I need to talk to you then how was your belly this morning let me tell you because I'll tell you what happened to me but I want to hear what happened to you this morning I actually almost shit myself right this morning or last night this morning last night i was absolutely fine i wasn't i but i wasn't fine before i went because you know i kept saying all day you your bowels all day well i had a normal day of bowel function you know my morning poo very regular very on schedule have my seafood boil experience was feeling fantastic wasn't even feeling too like like sluggish if anything i was feeling quite light yes because it's not that heavy it's not that heavy it's not that heavy was feeling pretty good that night it was business as usual feeling pretty good like normal bowel movements just like feeling quite settled and then woke up this morning normal normal normal have my morning coffee normal normal like I know that my poo is now like on its way I can feel it absolutely but the way it hit me so quick that I was like oh my fucking god this poo is coming out of my ass and I am not even in the bathroom yet I need to get to the right location immediately like I was like oh my fucking god I think I'm I'm like I was clenching my cheeks and like diarrhea then babes running to the bathroom like honestly trying to hold it in so much I was like oh my god I can feel it like it's there like Like it's about to come out in my dressing gown.

3:40But then I got to the toilet. It came out straight away, but it wasn't. Good. Oh, that's good. It wasn't, you know, like it wasn't a diarrhea situation. No, no heat, no burn. I did see some sweet corn. I'll be sick. No, I'll be sick. I was like, oh my God, that's my seafood boil. I'll be sick. I literally was like, whoa. I don't look at my, I'll be sick. Well, I just, when I, I, I turned around to press the flush. I was like, oh my God, that's my sweet God. I'll be sick. I'll actually be sick. So it wasn't the fact that it was a, it wasn't, there was nothing wrong with the shit. It was more that it just hit me like a.

4:22That'd be the occasion. That'd be the occasion. It was right there. Like if I hadn't have been, if I would have been out on my morning walk, oh my God, it would have been in my shorts. You'd have to have shit on the side of the road. I could not. It was just coming out. I was like, stop, like halt. Have you ever had the runner's shits? Because my dad's had to have a poo. No, I've not had that. Out on a run before. How disgusting is that? Yeah, that's crazy. I carried on running. Because you can't run when you need a poo. That is disgusting. Well, I have to have really gone for a poo before I run.

4:57Actually, no, that's not correct. But I would never have coffee before run without a poo. Yeah, because it just gets everything moving. Yeah, yeah. So that was my experience after the seafood pool. This is the second time I've attended this specific location of the fat crab. Okay, Clapham Fat Crab. Shout out, Lavender Hill. I think it's a delicious, delicious meal. Delicious establishment. Like truly, we went on Wednesdays. It was half price for a pound of prawns. I wonder if there's some sort of loyalty program that we could get involved with. Maybe, maybe. But I think it's good to know about the Wednesdays.

5:29Absolutely. I think we should maybe try. great day. I mean, not just us celebrating the fat crab celebrating too. Absolutely. I am not craving a seafood boil for a while just because my belly was already unjust before I attended the seafood boil. Um, things were unsettled. Um, and then I consumed the seafood boil delicious. Obviously we polished off all the prawns, we polished it all off. And then this morning. So last night you were okay yeah I didn't feel well oh I didn't feel well I almost didn't watch the summer I turn pretty last night because I just thought I'm not well in my body and I want to enjoy every moment like are you bubbling down there bubbles shit so a lot of farting last night I was just it wasn't even it was like it was like blockage oh yeah I couldn't relax oh no like I had a bath I got all you know just thought oh I could smell it on my on my forearms oh shit I wasn't experiencing that like blueberry wouldn't stop licking me and I could just smell it all over my body like even on my face like I could I just I had to get it off okay and then it was like half nine at night I was like I'm either watching Samara Return Pretty now or I'm calling it a nine but I just decided I had to watch it of course but but it was just an unsettlement then this morning but no poo last night no not at all completely blocked blockage did you poo at all i had a nectarine to try and get things moving a crisp cold nectarine it really soothed the palate after the occasion i can imagine we should have got snog i i thought i wasn't even well in my body to enjoy it okay um but yeah this morning it was just what happened this morning then a massacre it was just it was just on fire the shit was on fire just my bum hole ow and that the fat crab did it to me last time as well right so unfortunately what was it what was the was it was it just quick was it was it firm i woke up at half six due to miss blueberry of course you're born alive absolutely so i was up bright and early and i was waiting for it to arrive and it did move about 7.30 and it was just, yeah, fire.

7:45Oh, ouch. Fire. On top of a period that's arriving also. God, there's nothing worse. But I'm feeling great now. I had my Greek yoga this morning. You flushed it out. I had my matcha. But unfortunately, I now have some sort of bad association with this daggrestrum. So it's going to take me a while to find my feet again. I'll be going back next week. I can't wait. Next Wednesday, I'll be there, honestly. I fear I've had three seafood balls in about two weeks okay that's probably too many i think i think it's a one every two month situation i think it's a one one every six months no so it's really special it's like well for me that's how i treat an indian i i have two a year oh my god i love an indian is something i love i love i love but i rarely eat it but when i eat it i'm like oh my god this is the best food on the earth but i rarely eat it yeah because i had but i love it i think i've had one in january and i had one last month so that's my two for the year maybe maybe it'll be three this year one before the end of the year yeah get another one in there so i do like samosas naan pechoir rice no that's not that's not my favorite oh is it not that the coconut one cheesy naan I like plain garlic yeah yeah I like a lentil dal I like a paneer curry me too the cheese and the peas I like a paneer I love a paneer and I like a lentil I love a chickpea curry I mean if you got me those fucking bold bean remember when we used to make that chickpea curry we made it we made curry yeah when we were like 16 we used to make chickpea curry at your house wow that's very talented and it was like our exam reward treat we'd make a chickpea curry really that's the vegans talking god our bellies nutritional needs they are i do i mean chickpeas oh i used to sit i used to drain a can of chickpeas put sriracha on them and eat them you know i learned once on a cooking course that um if you drain chickpeas yeah the chickpea juice yes with sugar you whip it it turns into a beautiful meringue beautiful morang it's incredible you can do a lot with the juice of the chickpea juice you can do a lot um anyway happy wednesday to all happy wednesday to those who are celebrating today it's lovely to have you all here oh my god guys and you've got some right turn pretty to watch tonight we've got three episodes to go so as this one goes up we've got three we've still got three episodes of here shit yeah get to know babes sorry i apologize okay let's do our question of the week and this week we have asked you all what is the worst thing you've borrowed without someone knowing let me try and think it will have death oh this clip is mariana's she wanted me to bring it back to nottingham at the weekend but i conveniently forgot because it's so cute oh my god is it a butterfly yeah oh my god that's so cute yes she's gonna be so angry when she sees this At home, she had it on the side in blue.

10:56So I was like, you've already got it. You don't need it back. Aw, what a sleigh from Mary. Thank you, Mary, against her will. I'm thinking it's got to be stuff like if you borrow someone's like a toothbrush, I guess, and you don't know that someone else has used it. Oh, yes, fair, fair. Okay, right. Yes, a tooth with a razor on a private part. Oh. A razor on a bum hole, maybe, perhaps. Oh, no, that's never acceptable. okay so what's the worst thing you borrow without someone knowing um we've got here razor a razor a razor yeah yeah when lydia borrows my razor i get angry i do not like we could like like if you need it absolutely legs and armpits yeah but like just don't shave your fanny with it yeah like you can shave your legs and your hairy toes and your armpits but like please not the vagina um my friend's calvin klein sports bro still have it seven years later yeah lingerie underwear my husband's razor to shave the puss oh yeah the wilkinson oh my god my best friend's vibrator while i was house sitting she did say help yourself to anything Sarah yeah my dog sits up dog sits blueberry and I say make yourself at home there's snacks what's mine is yours la la la but I think you know that might be a bit too far intimate toys are off the condom from my sister's purse um my mum's new Porsche lol oh no this girl said her dad's shaver for her vagina it's not okay my mum's stockings for a pimp and hoe party when I was 15 lol toothbrush toothbrush i think it's like you use someone's toothbrush or razor and you don't tell them that you've used it that's the but then to be but because then you're like it's not like you're just stealing something you're using it and putting it back without them knowing that ignorance is bliss on the toothbrush because you would never know you would not know you would never know because what did i see on tiktok there was that lady right i don't know i can't remember but I saw this TikTok.

13:11Yeah. This lady, she worked as a housekeeper. Oh my God, okay. She'd worked as a housekeeper for years and years and years for this family. And there was this video that came out, house surveillance. She was pissing on the pots and the pans and plates. There's a video of her putting the plates and the bowls up her skirt and pissing. Or she was wiping it on her vagina. Either one. So watch out. Was she cleaning them after she'd pissed on them? I don't imagine so but then but then you know with that ignorance is bliss they were non-the-wiser they weren't hospitalized you know but let me just yeah she was either oh my god that's niche let me just quickly tick tock it woman weeing on this girl said my sister's fave coat cost her 200 quid and I spilled barbecue pulled pork down it.

14:02You see this is why sisters cannot touch each of the sisters things. My big sister's g-strings when I was in year seven. My mum's vibrator. Oh Sarah. Right my antenna's not working I can't fact check. Oh damn it's okay someone listening will know. Yes. Stole a pair of knickers from the lady I was an au pair for. Chintzies having a pairs. Hoini, Federica, Francesca. Federica was my favourite. Federica was my favourite. Francesca was my favorite too. Oh my God. This girl said my cousin's boyfriend. Wow. The betrayal. Oh my God. Yeah. Look, they're all coming in. Their boyfriend. Her boyfriend. Oh my God.

14:45You better. I was the kid that took the doorknobs from my best friend's house. Oh my God. Just like unscrew it and put them in your pocket. Very niche. Right. Well, the most common ones here are definitely toothbrush and razors. And a thong. And a thong and pants and a boyfriend. Yeah. Yikes. Yikes, indeed. Well, thank you for sharing, everyone. Absolutely. It's been lovely to hear the craziest things that you've borrowed. Where shall we begin today?

15:17Just before we get into it, quick disclaimer. Just to say, we are not doctors. We are not professionals. We do not actually know what we are talking about. This is a lighthearted space. Okay. Don't take what we say literally because we could be wrong. Yeah. And if there's anything serious, if there's anything you feel like you're seriously struggling with, please contact a GP, a professional, because that is not us. We're just girls, girls and boys just like you. We're just trying to get through life as well. Not professionals. Enjoy the episode.

15:44Okay, right. We're starting this week's episode with some wisdom from HR themselves. Right. Now I'm hoping our Sarah bestows us with a lot of information that we've been needing to learn from the HR department. Because we often say there's got to be a HR issue. Just take it up with HR. You know, when you guys write in about your office scandalous experiences. But HR is a mysterious place for us because we don't have HR. We don't have HR in the girls' bathroom. Unfortunately, we don't have any HR here. So we have got a lovely Sarah who's wrote in saying a HR professional's advice. Thank God. Thank God.

16:26You're here, Sarah. Okay. I was listening to your pod on my commute home from my HR job as a human resources lead for an engineering company. Wow. Wow. This is gold dust. God, the things Sarah's heard, the things Sarah's seen. You must have all the gossip on everyone in that workplace. Right. What I'm assuming Sarah has to deal with it is. This is fantastic. The head engineer has had sex with the assistant engineer. Yes. And that's forbidden. And Brian got wind of it. And he's reported them to HR. Is that the kind of thing we're dealing with? Yes. I would imagine so. Or I caught Brian and Sarah having a smooch in the engineer's room.

17:12next to a chainsaw. Yeah. And Brian's on his three week probation. Yeah. And that's a HR issue. We need to know what the HR people do when they have an issue. And mistreatment in the workplace. Of course. Brian said, Sarah, you dirty slag. Favouritism. Something like that. Brian called me a dirty slag in the workplace. That's a HR issue. You know, it's stuff like that, isn't it? Name calling. But I wonder what our Sarah does when she has an issue because she works in HR. Sarah, reply to us. We do need to know that answer. So she has told us here, I have some advice for our girl who is struggling with her manager.

17:47I also have my first class degree in HR. Shut up. We're getting degrees in it. Yeah. Wow. So she has broken down how we take an issue to HR. I've always wanted to know this. I'm actually like, I'm all ears right now. Listen, everyone. I'm locked in. Number one, start documenting everything. Every interaction that feels off, note the date, time, place, what was said slash done and if anyone else was there. This is amazing. Wait, I'm locked in. So we're getting our receipts gathered basically. Number two, build your receipts. Save any texts, emails or Slack slash Teams messages. Absolutely. That feel relevant.

18:36if you are being treated differently than colleagues try to note down specific comparisons oh my god yeah yeah so it's just really gathering the evidence really gathering it present to hr you've got a full blown specific you've got a court case well your case is ready to go yeah number three shut up when you've gathered enough information submit a formal grievance this is email what's that what does the grievance mean Sarah she's gonna tell us this is basically telling HR I believe I'm being treated unfairly here is my evidence okay once you file it HR how are we filing it sorry how are we filing it I believe we're gonna write an email right I believe I'm being treated unfairly here's my evidence okay yeah once you file it hr has to investigate god this is brilliant and address it that means it can't just get brushed off so they'll investigate and then address it with the with the they're bound by duty to investigate and address what's the so investigate and follow up circle back what's for the um the the not the victim the culprit culprit and number four keep it professional absolutely even if you are fuming understandably try to write things in a neutral clear way it will make your case so much stronger absolutely less emotion we're just these are the facts these are the facts And I've noted them down.

20:11And HR, this is now your problem. And she signed us off with a little paragraph. Yeah. And any girl in the workplace, remember, this is about protecting yourself. Thank God. You're not being dramatic or petty. You're standing up for fair treatment at work. I'm a pioneer for HR. She's also offered to come on the show if we wanted to. If you need me to drop in on the pod as your HR bestie in support with some workplace drama, please let me know. We could do. Thank you, Sarah. I will screenshot your email right now. We could do a specific, do I have a case for HR? HR issue episode. Yeah. Do I have a HR?

20:49And then we could get our Sarah, the professional to help us all tackle our HR problems. I'm a pioneer for HR. I love HR. I knew we loved HR. Why don't we start a HR helpline? And then when anyone that has got a HR issue, we could get Sarah's phone number. Yes. We could dial her up, get her on loudspeaker, in the mic, and she could give you some free guidance. Yes. We want more HR potential problems. Yes. Oh, I'm glad we've got a HR professional on board. So am I. It's nice that we've got one listening and it's a real person. Wow. So it really is. Because it always is like a mystical place for us.

21:25So if you ever present a case to HR, they have to investigate. And address. So I imagine if they say, not today, then. No, that's a HR crime. Now this is a HR crime. This is another HR issue that I'm bringing it to HR. Exactly. So who can I now report this to? The head of HR. Yeah. H. So that's interesting that they have to investigate every case. They have to. And I hope thoroughly as well. And they have to address it. So they have to follow up and be like, we've done this. We've done this. How are you feeling? Right. Do they have to present it to the culprit? No, I don't think so. Oh, okay. They just have to investigate and address it.

22:03It remains anonymous until maybe we're firing someone. Possibly, yeah. Love it. Love it. I would love to sit in a HR room. Thank you, Sarah, for giving us all the wisdom of the HR professionals. I imagine she's got client confidentiality, but I'd love to hear. There's got to be some sort of doctor patient confidentiality thing. Absolutely, yeah. I'd love to hear some of her little HR stories. I bet on a work night out, she just sits back and just like watches. Yeah. Because she's just, I'm HR. I'm HR None of you can do shit Because I'll investigate the shit out of you And I'll address it as well I've got the FBI on board I've got my receipts And I've got my court case Right gorgeous thank you HR Thank you HR Paralyzing every pore You feel it taking over you

22:57Right So this is So he sent me a password protected Word document. It's giving HR that. It is. It's giving confidential. It's giving Excel spreadsheet. And if I'm honest, I can't, you know, if you're my boyfriend, I'm not opening no documents. No, come on. Like, do you know what you can use? Your fucking mouth. You've got lips, you've got teeth, you've got a fucking tongue. Tip of the teeth that turn on the lips. How's it? She said, hi, girls. How's it going? It's going good. How's it going? It's going good. we're recording on a thursday vibes are high it's warm out yeah it is although we are dressed quite i'm ready i'm ready for the browns i'm ready for it dare i say yeah linens be gone i'm over it get out of here i know um how's it going it's going great my boyfriend sent me a password protected word document after a fight after a fight of background i hate conflict okay after a fight i typically go into the bedroom and decompress for hours before resolving my boyfriend hates this okay so you can't you need your time and space to think before you speak and act maybe yeah and maybe he's like no we need to sort it out now yes so it's kind of like we're both handle things differently when it comes to conflict so we had a fight last night and instead of resolving things face to face like a normal person my boyfriend sends me a password protected word i mean very emphasize make a password i don't know document i don't know how you gotta send the password separately it's a lot of hassle i don't know how you do that you know password will be in the post in two to three days yeah like use the usual password.

24:51Usual password. I don't know what the usual password is. I'm typing in, it's not working. Just try copy and pasting and it should work. Okay, yeah, it's worked. And this document is of how I avoid conflict and it upsets him. Am I crazy? But isn't that exactly what he is doing by sending me this Word document? But, sorry, Sarah, sorry, Sarah, one second. But aren't you the one who has removed yourself from the fight? And not wanting to speak? Yeah. She likes to go in the bedroom. Yeah. So you said, look, after I remove myself, go to the bedroom, decompress for hours before resolving. So he's just saying, let's resolve it now.

25:32So in those hours, he's whipped up a word doc. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, because you said hours. Hours. He had time on his hand. He had time. To sit and think before you would come around. The document is crazy and takes no accountability for any of his actions. okay we don't like that but says things like like how i don't listen to him and how sometimes he says stuff on the fly and now he's going to use this word document to communicate with me oh poly de vie francaise is it uh like one of those word docs where we can collab on it and we can both write stuff we can edit yeah we can add points so you can just go highlight delete he demands oh okay oh he demands we have sex more and not demands yeah excuse me who the fuck do you think you are what do you mean demands this is a hr issue yeah you can't demand sex from no did you write that on the word doc she said he demands we have sex more and not once say sorry for his shit behavior over the five years we've been together.

26:41Sarah, this might be a breakup. This is a long time. What do I do? I have a response written out, but it's so unhinged because I'm seriously over it. What would you do? Lots of love. Right, so the situation is without an argument. Yeah. Let's just park the demanding sex bit to the side, just for a sec. I want to talk about the word doc. What it sounds like though on the doc was that he's listed things that he's not happy with. I think so. The sex life. The - communication style communication style what else avoiding conflict or resolving not being great at resolving conflict hasn't taken any accountability for his issues so it sounds like he's written out things that he's not happy with I feel like I feel like maybe in his head he's thinking if your style if you guys fall out and you're the way that you like to deal with it is to remove yourself and like lock yourself in the room for a few hours.

27:38And he's the more that's one like, no, let's just sort it out now. Let's just keep talking and let's just like get through it. Maybe in his head, I feel like maybe he's thought, okay, so that she like hears me and listens to me and like takes it in, I'm gonna type something up and I'm gonna almost like a letter, like so she can then read it. Yeah. The password protection is strange. I'm not sure why he's done that. but maybe he thought that it would be a better way yeah maybe he thought it would be a better way of communicating like in the heat of the moment so we're not going to get into a screaming back and forth like shouting match I'm just going to send you this and you can read it but the thing is is if we've been together for five years this is not our first argument this is not our first rodeo I'm thinking maybe he's trying to think of new ways to resolve it it's like meet me in the middle here i just i look this is a lot for me we're arguing arguing we can't seem to come to a resolution right now i just need to take myself away for an hour or so just to gather my thoughts then i'll come back to you calm collected and with my points ready to resolve and if you could just be patient for an hour or two or three with me while i just gather myself please just do that i agree i'm just trying to get in his mind as to why he would write a word doc because like if you're not happy with our sex life yeah that's a separate yeah but what i need to see the doc sarah i know you should have sent it i guess it's password protected password protective obviously so we don't have access to it but i want to know what else is said in this dog he's just said this is how we're gonna he wants yeah does she want he because i'm thinking when it's like let's just whatsapp then i don't understand i know i'm thinking like i message sometimes like when you know like certain people you know they would rather like have a certain conversation over text yes as opposed to like on the phone and it's like you know you're probably going to get a better response on text versus on a phone call like maybe he was thinking like I think this would suit her personality like I'm gonna send this to her she can read it she can send me one back if she wants with my with points about me I'm just trying to understand why he would write the word doc but if it's not gone down well with you which it doesn't sound like it has then I think you just say that but look I don't need to communicate with you via word just say like what works best for me is yeah look you know me by now it's been five years I do need my space and time just to gather myself because when it's in the heat of the moment I find myself saying the wrong thing yeah or getting really upset you know I'm not hearing each other you know I can get not productive and hot-headed or whatever so I would appreciate if you could give me that time and then I do like to resolve things face to face one-on-one in person and i like us both take accountability but yeah can you see where you went wrong here this is how it made me feel this is what you did can you see how that's yeah because if he's not taking any accountability then yeah this is that's not that's a huge issue if he's not taking any accountability if you're telling me that this doc anywhere on it has some sort of demand of sex then this guy needs to actually end of a relationship yeah because excuse me no no because you can't like the whole point of resolving an argument is that you both recognize what you could have done better yeah it's a discussion we apologize and then we like move on it can't be just a situation where he's just saying well you did this and you did this and you did and I don't know when you do this and I don't know when you do this okay well let's reflect on ourselves as well and maybe just see where and we're a partnership so like yeah we're on the same team that's the point like you guys been together for five years like you're on the same team literally i feel like he's for maybe forgetting that literally but maybe just express that you don't like the word doc yes say this is not how i want us to communicate let's let's sit down together and come up with a style that helps us both yes yes gorgeous

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33:29okay next dilemma holiday rep might ruin my relationship oh so okay so we've gone on holiday the holiday rep is looking good and isn't it like what um what was that show yes um i know exactly what show you're talking about yeah and if the rep will take us out they're drinking with us they're sleeping with the clients yes they're drinking with us they're sleeping with us yeah like they're sleeping on the premises yes we'll make forming connections and relationships. What is that show called? Ibiza. Ibiza Weekenders. Absolutely. So, she said, hi girls. I have found myself in quite the pickle. So I need help from the experts.

34:18Shut up. It's a situation I've had to keep quiet from everyone in my life. And I know you girls won't judge. Never. So, to set the scene. I have been with my Brian since November. Okay. okay so we're coming up ish to a year yeah the year anniversary is on the horizon eight months ever since our first date we just completely clicked and we've been inseparable ever since he's truly my best friend he treats me so well however recently there have been a few teething issues for example he doesn't really compliment me you know sometimes he can seem quite emotionally distant and we can clash on our communication styles.

34:59I feel like I've tried to communicate with him so many times regarding, you know, being complimented and words of affirmation. Yeah. But he never takes it on board. He finds affection quite uncomfortable, but at the start, you know, he complimented me daily with a good morning, beautiful text. He would respond to all my stories. He would comment on my posts. It was never a problem. So why is it happening now? so why have why don't we have that anymore and then i i've communicated to you oh i want that again let's bring that back fast forward to july i went on a family holiday for two weeks for your typical family hotel activities during the day shows in the evening on the first night we were watching a show and i noticed wait wait wait so it's like a tui wrap have you seen the tui wraps they meet you at the airport so it's not an ibiza weekend no it's a tui it's family friendly tui They wear blue fucking, what are they called?

35:57Polo shirts. Oh yeah, sorry. They wear blue polo shirts, clipboards and a side saddle bag. I've seen them. Okay. All right, we've got a visual for everyone. Okay. So on the first night we were watching a show. Okay, go watch. And I noticed one of the holiday reps looking at me quite a lot. I didn't really think anything of it. I just thought it was a coincidence. then a couple nights later we were sat in a completely different place and once again I noticed him watching me as he was performing oh wait he's a performer he's in the shows he's in the nighttime he's the fire breather this is amazing when we got back to the room in the evening my mum pointed out that she had also noticed shut up um and as the holiday progressed my sister then mentioned it too oh it must have been a lot then I don't know if it was the fact that I finally felt seen by someone, but I found myself thinking about him a lot whilst I was there and looking for him in the day.

36:53It's worth noting during my holiday, my Brian was really distant with me, really slow and short replies, which isn't usually like him. About a week after coming home, I still couldn't get this boy out of my head. Me and Brian had a few arguments when I got back due to me voicing my feelings about certain things he was doing. And as a result, he shut down, ignoring me for long periods of time, which resulted in me thinking about this holiday rep even more. We'll call him Steve. Absolutely. A few days later, I caved and followed Steve on Instagram. Shut up. How the hell did you find Steve Firebreather at Tooie on Instagram?

37:35Fucking hell. That's amazing detective skills, Sarah. I commend you. I bet it was Geotags. Yes. Oh, yes. I bet. Maybe he was in a leaflet. Yes. First name, second name. I bet the hotel Instagram was following him. Or maybe they posted a picture of the fire breathers. And then she looked on who liked the picture. He liked it. He may have even commented. There we go. Great crowd tonight. Great show. Thanks for coming out. Thanks for coming out. Happy holidays. It was fantastic. The vibes tonight were through the roof. Through the roof. Okay. So you followed him. I didn't want him to follow me back I just wanted some sort of closure For him not to reciprocate And then I could get him out of my head Because it was a little bit of a test To my surprise he did follow me back Of course he did Sarah And instead of being able to move on This just made me think about him even more And honestly I ended up messaging Absolutely Sarah It was very surface level at first Just discussing the holiday in the hotel The weather of course your performance that first thing that was just ravishing a few nights ago we started speaking about what we enjoy doing and traveling got brought up we spoke about italy and how i'd never been he asked if i had anybody to go with me i couldn't help myself i said no okay sarah and followed it with why don't you come with me question mark okay okay Sarah fully shut off from this boyfriend yes you are really needing validation attention and like you know you know because your boyfriend's been so emotionally you know removed from you you know you can't even have a conversation with him you can't even like say oh I didn't you know that really upset when you did that he's getting hot headed he's removing himself he's getting angry and all we want is love and mr fire breather is giving us something he's followed us back but obviously you know this is wrong yes because there is still a boyfriend you do still have a boyfriend sarah let's not forget but you know these things happen we spoke about potentially going next year shut up but acknowledged it was far away yeah so he asked me to meet him in september where he would show me around the place i visited on holiday i said yes and we have talked every day since okay sarah you are cheating on your boyfriend yes currently yeah it's gonna be fine but we need to also recognize what listen behavior is happening right now it's gonna be a movie i can see it yeah but it's gonna be a movie we just need to end the first one we need to just tie together our loose ends yes which is the emotionally avoidant boyfriend we've planned dates and it even feels it even falls that i wouldn't have to take any time off work okay so you've planned it where you could do it like without having to take any my brian is going traveling for a couple of months which would be over this time period so it works perfectly Sarah Sarah Sarah Sarah one second slow down Sarah holiday boy has even been messaging me good morning beautiful which as I mentioned before is something that has completely dropped off from Brian yes I know I'm completely wrong for even having these conversations with Steve but I can't help myself I do truly love Brian I'm not sure about that Sarah but we'll keep going.

41:08I feel like I'm not being heard at the moment and he isn't meeting my needs. I think you loved the version of him that he was at the start. Not this version now. Yeah. I think you're in love with what it used to be and maybe not because I don't think you can, I don't believe that you can cheat on someone that you love. Yeah. And also you're in love with the potential of him changing and fixing these problems, but he's not doing anything of the sort, you know? He was disimagined. Like one of the worst things you can do as a partner is be distant and off with your partner while they're on holiday especially with their family or friends and try and ruin their time yeah you know exactly what you're doing you're not fucking stupid no you know you're you're doing this you don't want me to have a good time exactly and then for me to come back and say that i like i really didn't appreciate that and then i'm not being heard i'm not being complimented no intimacy it sounds like Like he is equally as checked out of this relationship, to be honest, Sarah.

42:07Yeah. And then he's probably - Doesn't sound like he wants to make you happy or is making you happy or is even trying to make you happy. And also Sarah, that is not normal from a boyfriend. You should not have to be begging and pleading. And your boyfriend should be loving and kind and emotionally there for you. A cheerleader. And just be there for you and be present. This man is not doing that. And that's not normal.

42:32so I'm also at the point where I'm scared to even communicate my needs since he just gets defensive and argumentative I am really tempted to go and visit Steve in September and see how I feel what should I do please help me girls I never thought I would be in this situation I've always been so loyal to all of my previous relationships however after having my trust broken in relationships I think I may be scared of that commitment I think I know exactly what you're going to say but I definitely need to hear it. Here's her and Brian. That's a beautiful photo of you both. Zoom, zoom, zoom.

43:07Oh, Sarah, you're stunning. I know, Sarah, you look awesome. I think you do much better than me, if I'm honest. So do I, yeah, absolutely. So I think let's cut these loose ends off. I think you've given me many opportunities to fix up, you said even before, the affection, you've tried to express your needs, the compliments. I think the holiday is being awfully distant and that is one of the worst things and I all I think maybe this is just a case of like the honeymoon period has ended and it's never coming back and he's made that abundantly clear to us do you know what I mean I think you've tried to commute like you've not been happy in the relationship for a while but it's kind of one of those things where it's not an overnight realization it's slowly as the days go by you're kind of like oh well you've not I've kind of dressed up tonight for our date and you've not really given me like oh my god you've not like you know given me a big like wow you look great like you look beautiful not really feeling that anymore and like slowly over time you're kind of like hmm things are actually very different now than how they were like two months in and yeah like your head's been turned like you've gone on that holiday you've liked that attention from someone else you followed like you followed him on instagram you've messaged him like yeah you shouldn't have done those things you're in a relationship but like you know that you don't need us to tell you that and I think all that needs to happen now is you need to break up with Brian he's a loser he's a loser anyway by the sounds of things he's not made for you by the sounds of things you don't deserve the treatment either then you can like yeah you can go and see Steve guilt-free you can communicate with Steve guilt-free like I think Brian's kind of way this whole relationship is kind of a comfort blanket for you right now and I think you're like, oh, but I don't want to like, you know, leave him without having my next thing kind of set up and ready to go.

44:52And I think let's maybe get out of that mentality because you should definitely end what you have right now before you communicate any further with Steve. Because I think what will happen is if you stay with Brian and go through with your, because you say that your September trip is just to see if how it is. I think you'll get there. Fancy the pants off him. like maybe be intimate with him you know really really fall for him potentially and now you're now you're really fucked because now i've also got some feelings for this guy because i've been talking to him for two months yeah and now we've been intimate and i've stayed with him for five nights yeah and i've still got a fucking boyfriend at home he's now calling me so messy now he's now now he's now asking me why i'm being distant because i've been with another boy for five nights and then it's really messy and you're not gonna feel good about yourself not at all either you're gonna be stressed you're gonna be in your head also you're not gonna be able to enjoy your time with steve 100 because in the back of your mind you're thinking brian can't find out you've got to be sneaky it's like i don't need to harbor that no brian i don't believe one thing at a time i don't believe brian's for you i think you've really tried i think you've raised your issues you've communicated them they've not been he's not really responded to that you're now at the point where you feel like you can't even raise an issue because he just it just starts an argument and that is no relationship that's not that's oh this relationship is never going to work if we can't communicate so let's do one thing at a time i think we let brian go yeah it's ran its course it's not meant to be it was good while it lasted but it's not good anymore and you've given him many opportunities we see steve or we don't but like let's that's we can park that for this for a sec let's just sort out our brian situation first he's had endless opportunities to fix up and present himself as the man you need and he has done not that so he needs to go you've got this sarah september's gonna be great yeah and like imagine yeah the thing is as well i want you to go there and have a good time if you think if you say to yourself look if i just deal with this shit now if I put myself through this now think about like life at Christmas time think about life you know in January February like next spring like all these like all these lovely things that you can have and look forward to if you just put yourself force yourself to go through the heart break now it's something that needs to happen I think yeah and you know that I feel like with the way you sign off that email you know no one wants to be told like oh well I think you're gonna break with your boyfriend now and no one wants to do it either it's like oh i don't know because yeah you're still seeing him you're still hanging out it's comfortable you know that you can see him on friday night and you know have your roast on sunday i don't know you know what i mean but you're not being fulfilled and it's not you're not happy you're not happy so that's it yeah good luck sarah Bonne chance.

47:46Bonne chance.

47:52Hi girls. Oh, oh, oh. The subject line is, who is using my husband's face on Tinder? Sarah, the culprit could be listening to this podcast, actually. Could the culprit be your husband? Oh, there we go. Just using his own pics? I didn't even think about that. Just being super bold? I didn't even think about that. I'm being like, whoa, I'm being catfished. It's not me. Well, did he get caught? And he said, that's obviously not me. It's obviously a catfish. Shut up. Do you think I've used my own pictures on Tinder? But maybe, maybe actually it is a catfish. Maybe she's from Swansea and it says Glasgow.

48:25Yeah. Maybe the age is off. Could still be him. But we don't want to plant doubts in your minds. I don't think it is. Let's read on. He loves you. Let's read on. He's being catfished for sure. Hi, girls. Hope you're both doing well. And a huge congratulations to Sophia and Brian. Oh, thanks, Sarah. Okay, buckle up because this one's wild and we need serious advice. We need serious advice. It sounds like they're both. Oh, you're writing this as a couple. It sounds like, yeah. A few months ago, I got a message from my sister-in-law with some alarming screenshots. Her friend, I mean, wouldn't that just actually make you one of them?

49:01That would give you a see-through bullshit, You receive a screenshot of your boyfriend or significant other and it's their face on a Tinder. Have you seen this? Question mark. Yeah. Have I seen what? Look what my friend saw. No, I'd be sick. I'd be sick. um her friend who lives in our hometown oh my god it's a hometown oh my god so we're not in glasgow babes no this could be okay when let's read on and the husband's gone oh my god why don't we email those girls that you like that podcast they'll be able to help us yeah he's meanwhile he's thinking what's he doing he's um double bluffing yeah what's the word Manipulating.

49:38What's that word? Stirring the pot. Yeah, but he's, he's, he's. There's a word. Describe what he's doing and I'll find you the word. He's engineering. You know when something's about to blow up, he's. You know what I mean? He's. He's. Oh, I know. Um, um, um, um, um. It's right here. Wait, wait, wait. You know when something's about to explode? Yeah. you know it's about to all go wrong for him but he's you know oh my god what is that word he's like doubling down he's hunkering down he's like he's getting things in place he's exactly he's um setting it up like oh my god he's actually right here this is actually gonna really annoy me he's um damage control yes that is exactly damage control he's damaged do you know he's like oh my god well we must email the girls right you know damage control yes you know yes so her friend who lives in our our our hometown so this is where we're both from sister-in-law's friend who lives in hometown got it yeah had come across a tinder profile using photos of my husband but under a completely different name okay okay at first we were so confused the pictures look like screenshots from his private Instagram account.

50:59Wagatha Christie. Oh my God, shut up. His private Instagram account and most of them were quite old, meaning whoever made the profile must be someone we know. Or it's him. He's got access to his own images. This could be the biggest double bluff situation of all time. Yeah, or it's literally Sarah from school who you've not seen in 20 years. Trying to start drama. Shit. Trying to sabotage. Shut up. Oh my God, yeah. We have a saboteur among us. So whoever made the profile must be someone we know. Someone with access. We reported the account to Tinder, but they couldn't trace it. And we assumed it had been deleted.

51:39How convenient. Case closed. Or so we thought. What if the husband's gone? I know. He's used his email and he's got an email back. We can't trace it. What if the husband, he just put Ben? Yeah. You know, because he's thinking I'll just see who tickles me. Who fancies me. Yeah, who fancies me. Right. Fast forward to last week, another message. Another Tinder profile, again, using my husband's photos, but with a different name this time. What is happening? The girl who messaged me had actually tried chatting to this guy to suss him out. That's clever. But when she mentioned my husband's real name, she got blocked.

52:27Now, here's where it gets even worse. This new fake profile included a photo that my husband has never posted online. It's him. It's Harriet. It's either a ghost or it's him. Had never posted online. Sophia, it's the husband, isn't it? Sorry, this is giving murder mystery energy. Where's he left his phone? Has someone else got his phone password? Has someone else got a picture? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Unless someone else has got access to his iCloud. Shared album, iCloud. Is it you, Sarah? Are you double bluffing us? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

53:10But then what will she get out of that? She's here on the podcast. Yeah, yeah, yeah. A bit of air time. Right. So this could be completely made up. Okay. So this second fake profile, I had a picture that he's never posted online. No, that's so scary. The only time that random image was ever shared was privately. Oh, within a group chat of sorts. Well, that narrows down our... When we first moved into a new flat in a different city and we sent it to just three people, a colleague and his two childhood best friends. oh my god okay and then well listen catfish catfish the tv show most of the time it's someone you know from school yeah it's a colleague it's a sibling it's a cousin yeah it's some it's your best friend it's it's someone close to you and the fact that they're using it in the hometown yeah you know um who have you wronged sarah think back yeah yeah so it's these three people and then we noticed another photo on the profile.

54:19Stop it. This is actually wild. I'm sorry. This is, this is. Shut up. Wow. A random blurry image of a golf course. Harmless, right? Until we reverse. Zac Efron. Yeah, yeah. It's Troy Bolton. We reverse image searched it and it turns out it's from one of the best friends local golf club where he golfs with his dad. so we narrowed it down it's his best friend let's call him steve that's really smart that is the golf course it's fucking swansea golf course who lives in swansea who fucking yaps about golf all the time who goes there yeah red-handed you are the weakest link now here's where it gets complicated it's steve is getting married later this year and my husband so i think brian's off the cuff husband's the best man i'm gonna call it steve is getting married later this year and my husband husband let's call him brian is his best man he's currently planning the stag do as we speak oh my after connecting all the dots brian was completely flawed so brian called steve to confront him shit wow just straight in there And of course, Steve has denied everything.

55:41Of course. Yeah, what else is he going to say? But why are you setting it to the hometown? Obviously, he thought it was just like, oh, it's a catfish. If anyone would have saw it, oh, it's just a catfish. La, la, la. Okay. But the evidence is stacking up. This mystery person has access to Brian's private Instagram photos. and that photo only three people received. It doesn't look good. He's not a very smart catfisher then, is he? No. Oh, and there's one more thing. Steve has previously cheated on his now fiance. Oh, poor Sarah. Shiva gave him, they moved on and now they're happily engaged. Well, Steve's not, is he?

56:28Steve's not, no. Steve's happily catfishing. But if Steve is behind these Tinder profiles, then he's not just catfishing. He's actively trying to cheat again. But like, it's not going to get him very far because you're going to go to meet up with this girl. Oh, it's not me. Well, he's probably not. What does he just want? I think he probably has not got the intention of like sleeping with someone else. He just wants to chat and flirt with other women and have like an emotional, like naughty, like, oh, secret thing on the phone. like text text text pics pics pics and then never meet up and he's using his friend's face to try and drag him into trouble to be like if i ever get caught like i want you to have i want to cause problems in your relationship as well like if my relationship is going to have problems i need your relationship to have problems as well so i'm going to use your pictures to make your wife think about you and like yeah he just wants to he's thinking if i'm going down everyone's coming down with me and i also think he's thinking that if anyone ever finds it they're not going to suspect that it was me no i think it's just some random person on instagram yeah oh my um so our theory this is written amazingly yeah what is your theory tell me agatha grispy grispy grispy greens um so our theory he's using brian's photos to fly under the radar in our own hometown where keep your friends close but your enemies closer where he'd be recognized so here we are completely torn but why not set it to fucking glasgow like because you're risking that people who know you're gonna pop up is that the thrill of it yeah people like he obviously thought oh people he'll know people are gonna text you know brian's wife being like brian's on tinder what have you seen this what's going on like he wants maybe to cause a bit of so here we are completely torn.

58:26Brian feels betrayed. Someone is misusing his identity potentially to cheat. He doesn't feel comfortable being the best man anymore, but we have no proof. He confronted and hit a wall. Do we go back and confront Steve again, this time face to face? I think so. Yeah. Do we tell his fiance what we suspect even without hard evidence or do we just let it go and let him walk down the aisle pretending we don't know any of this. Help us. We're spiraling. A very conflicted Sarah and Brian. P.S. Now you girls love a pic. Here's me and my Brian. Sarah and Brian. Brian, I'm sorry we doubted you at the beginning.

59:03Oh my God. A stunning, stunning couple captured on film. Oh my God. Let me see. He's giving Harry Styles. So I understand why his images were used. Wow. She looks incredible. You look beautiful in polka dots. Wow. right. I think absolutely, I think confront him again. Brian has every right to say, excuse me, I have every, I have a strong suspicion that you're the one running these fake Tinder profiles. Like talk to me, you're my best friend. Like, come on, I know it's you. Come on, just be honest with me, bro. You're being caught. Time's up. Yeah. Like just at least tell me. Yeah. And I would also just go in with like the language of like, I know that it's it's you.

59:52Like, I don't even need you. Like, I know that it's you. Is it you? I think I know it's you. Well, no, I know it's you. I know it's you. So like, you don't even need to tell me because I know that it's you. let's just sort this out. Like, we need to call off this wedding. So let's just sort it out. We need to call off this wedding. Like, you obviously don't. Like, what's your motive? Like, what's the, what's the plan here? Like, why propose to Sarah if you're going to do all this? Like, you've cheated on her before. Obviously, you're trying to do that again. You shouldn't be with this woman. Like, Brian needs, I don't, Sarah, I don't think you need to like have the, I think Brian needs to go to him one-on-one as his best mate, as his best man and be like, look, I know this is you.

1:00:29You're getting married. Like, we need to call this wedding off. Talk to me. Let's have it out. Yeah, like what's going on in your head? Yeah. Like, what's wrong with you? Yeah. Like, what's actually wrong with you? Because there's something wrong with you, isn't there? Yeah. Because why are you doing this again? And stop using my identity. There's something wrong with you because you stole my identity. you're trying to cheat what the hell are you doing you're doing it in our hometown you're embarrassing us both I know you've been caught like you've been caught you've changed the name like you're sloppy yeah you're a sloppy cheat and you're embarrassing us all you can't even do it well you can't even keep it a secret literally sloppy sloppy sloppy you would have got caught so quickly on catfish literally so I think Brian needs to go to him again yeah the wedding needs to be and maybe Brian could just say like look I'm not going to be your best man until you're honest with me yeah there we go like I don't feel comfortable following through this wedding because you're not being honest you need to say i'm out yeah like and then you can let everyone know why i'm out and why we've fallen out and why sarah won't be there either and what we know and then if the other sarah fiance sarah is like has to come to you and say look what why are you out the wedding then you tell her yeah you tell her because you you are probably 99 sure aren't you that it's steve it has to be it has to be so 99.9 and i feel like when you have that conversation face to face you will like feel it from him the guilt if yeah you'll see it in his eyes the guilt yeah 100 % he'll go red if he's someone who goes red yeah like that like and you know he won't be himself like you would know if it wasn't him and you will know if it is him by how he responds yeah so sloppy well it's just a stupid stupid man like why do these men get engaged and plan these weddings and then cheat on their like it just makes no sense and it makes me sick makes no sense like what are you doing no one's forcing you into this literally you're disgusting leave you are disgusting yeah brian needs to be really stern with his best friend he does he does send us an update please send us an update right should we find a star of the week yes let's restore our faith right our star of the week this week we've I've got lovely Emily writing in, nominating her boyfriend.

1:02:38I think she wants to keep him anonymous because we've gone with Brian. I would like to nominate my Brian for Brian of the week. I was unexpectedly made redundant from my job on Thursday and he was so supportive and has been cheering me up every moment since. Listen to this. He wrote me a two-page letter on how amazing he thinks I am. And I said I can stay with him for however long I need until I find a new job. He is very, very busy doing pilot training. shut up can the pilot see me now can the pilot see me now calling Sarah to the cockpit please calling Sarah to the cockpit but he calls me and checks in on me any chance he gets Brian is five stars pics attached lovely cup with a lovely blue sky I thought you knew she was going to say Brian is five foot then oh five star pilot Brian making our lovely Sarah Emily a very happy girl in her sad time Sarah, I wish you all the best of luck in finding a new job.

1:03:36Obviously, you've just been redirected. That wasn't for you. Wasn't meant for you. You will find something and it will feel right. Will fall into place. What about an air hostess? Could fly the world. Yes, together. Free flights, always. Absolutely. Well, cheers to you guys. Love you. Congratulations. Yay. Thank you so much for listening, everyone. Happy Wednesday. If you would like to email in a dilemma, you can email it to hello at thegirlsbathroom.com And you're a star of the week entries. Absolutely. You can follow us on Instagram, TikTok, and on YouTube at The Girls Bathroom. Have a lovely week.

1:04:10We'll see you on Monday if you're part of the group chat. And we'll see you next Wednesday. Love ya. Bye.

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