Boy Talk: She wants his custody visits in OUR flat?!

0:00Sofia Tuxford: Therapy's biggest impact doesn't show up in some dramatic breakthrough. It shows up in the smallest moments. You bite your tongue instead of escalating. You put your phone down instead of firing off that text. You say what you actually mean instead of what would hurt someone else the most. Nobody applauds those moments, but they quietly change your life. That's what growing feels like. And that's exactly what Grow Therapy is here for. Grow is therapy that works, covered by insurance. Sessions average$21 with insurance and some pay as little as$0 depending on their plan. There are no subscriptions, no long-term commitments.

0:37Sofia Tuxford: You just pay per session. Grow connects you with thousands of high-quality licensed therapists across the U.S. offering both virtual and in-person sessions nights and weekends. You can search by what matters, like insurance, specialty, identity, or availability. And you can book a therapy session in minutes and begin in as little as two days, not the national 48-day average. See if you could pay as little as$0 for therapy in seconds at growtherapy.com slash ACAST. That's growtherapy.com slash ACAST. growtherapy.com slash ACAST. Availability and coverage vary by state and insurance plan. Podcasting is fluid.

1:19Sofia Tuxford: Platforms and the formats, they're only the container. What fans are choosing is the moment. What their hands are doing, what their eyes are free for, or who else is in the room. Whether it's the morning run, the commute, the couch at 9pm, or the clip that made you laugh on your lunch break. Four moments, four different things a brand gets from showing up in them. ACAST Podcast Pulse 2026 report maps all four of these moments. Get all the insights at acast.com slash pulse.

1:48Sofia Tuxford: Hey there. Bravo, B for Bravo. Bravo. C for cat C for Charlie My mum said that before C for Charlie My mum defo says C for cat D for delta D for dog E for echo F for fox track My mum has said that before F for fox track I thought it was Freddie You know the drama is never ending Don't let it get the best of you

2:17Cinzia Cozzi: happy birthday to you oh my goodness happy birthday to you oh my god it's my birthday happy birthday dear blueberries mom

2:33Sofia Tuxford: happy birthday oh my god 29 29 you guys she's 92 everybody she's looked amazing wow you were being weird I didn't realize why you were around the corner

2:51Cinzia Cozzi: with the candles I was like oh my god why is Rosie around there

2:54Sofia Tuxford: and you were like so hello everybody welcome back lovely make a wish oh my god you can put these in your junk journal thank god thank god it's a big for my junk journal thank god I'm fucking gagging for a piece of that Right. It was great cake. Thank God I've had something savory. Thank God. Blueberry, look! Blueberry, it's your mama's birthday, okay? Okay. Let me take this very seriously. This is going in my joke journal. Everyone make a wish and we'll blow it through Chintzy's candles. Everyone wish for me. Nice things.

3:28Sofia Tuxford: Oh, two buffs. Two wishes. Absolutely. Cheers. Hey! Woohoo! Oh lovely! It's Libra season, you guys. It's Libra season. Take a bite 2-9 2-9 Take a bite Shall I go in?

3:43Cinzia Cozzi: Yeah That looks so good Oh Like a dog dog That's a good bite Yeah Yeah Get it baby Big cake to you Get it girl Right so 29 What's our thoughts What's our feelings What's our hopes What's our dreams

3:59Sofia Tuxford: Well I wasn't expecting this to be the Birthday out Were we manifesting?

4:02Cinzia Cozzi: Because we know we're good at that Come on I'm just manifesting Prosperous vibes I thought you were going to say profit

4:10Sofia Tuxford: profit for the bills now um health and happiness for blueberry absolutely and a new nice era in my

4:20Cinzia Cozzi: new flats it's all the lovely guys and harry styles woo absolutely shout out myc harry styles we're coming for you absolutely blue bean this is not for doggies it's not for doggies this is

4:32Sofia Tuxford: actually as close as mns is going to get to a dot cake i'm surprised i've not actually done dot cakes in a thing yet. Same. Because I've heard that's very easy for them to just fashion. Same.

4:41Cinzia Cozzi: But that's hitting the brief, I fear. Yeah, absolutely. What's not dot cake about that?

4:44Sofia Tuxford: Would you like a bite?

4:46Cinzia Cozzi: No. I'll wait.

4:50Sofia Tuxford: What are you waiting for?

4:51Cinzia Cozzi: The end of the app so I can really have a slice. I think you thought

4:53Sofia Tuxford: forks were going to miraculously appear, didn't you? And they haven't.

4:56Cinzia Cozzi: She's a bit confused. Last time I ate mine, just like I was chomping on it.

4:59Sofia Tuxford: Were you? Yeah. Well, have a chomp. No, I'm fine. Alright. It can live there wow eminence's finest love that finest yeah i can live there for the 29 wow 29 feeling fine it's good it's great 30 i'm gonna look my best when i when i'm 30 i can't wait for the 30th where we go and what we're doing it's gonna be amazing i'm thinking tropical wow yeah okay gotta get out of here we said didn't we say this is another app we've literally had this

5:22Cinzia Cozzi: conversation we've had a conversation a few times yeah well yeah guys let us know your best the best celebrations. Give us some info.

5:31Sofia Tuxford: I actually did watch the Friends episode where they all turned 30. Yeah. And I was like, oh, lovely. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And they were all freaking out.

5:40Cinzia Cozzi: Yeah. But it's not even a big deal. I think people used to freak out. I think our mum's era like freaked out. Yeah. But I don't think we're the freak out era.

5:47Sofia Tuxford: They took things a bit more seriously, didn't they?

5:49Cinzia Cozzi: I also think they probably felt so much older

5:51Sofia Tuxford: than we do. Yeah. And they felt pressure to be all the things. All the boxes. like all the boxes ticked yeah whereas we're you know young wild young wild and free entrepreneurs no strings attached absolutely yeah just living life absolutely well this is our pants this is

6:07Cinzia Cozzi: kind of sad isn't it yes but you've got your cake that's true yeah but we have got empty drinks yeah i've got water i actually need to hydrate with water okay well welcome back everybody happy libra season happy birthday to anyone else whose birthday is happening right now Absolutely. Sending you well wishes. Maybe there's another chintzier out there somewhere turning 29 this September. Shout out to the chintziers. Yeah, shout out to the chintziers. What a name. Where are thou?

6:31Sofia Tuxford: I always remember when I would meet a chintzier in Italy. It was like this whole thing. Yeah. I've never met another one. Really? Yeah, I don't think so. Do you remember there was that one chintzier in Nottingham? I was like, who the fuck are you? No. I'm chintzier of Nottingham.

6:43Cinzia Cozzi: I'm the chintzier of England.

6:45Sofia Tuxford: Do you not remember when we discovered there was another chintzier of Nottingham? No. Come on.

6:49Cinzia Cozzi: It was this bitch. No.

6:50Sofia Tuxford: Do you not remember? No. Oh I think we followed each other For a while Because it's like You know Chinzy appreciation Yeah Like I see you I relate You know I see what you go through Every day Yeah How do you spell that Sorry Sorry What was that Because Lydia When we're getting into sex She goes for Cinzia Like she doesn't even like

7:06Cinzia Cozzi: I mean it does look like It should be Cinzia

7:09Sofia Tuxford: Yeah it does Yeah

7:11Cinzia Cozzi: But But it's a silent her It's a silent her Chin See Ah Chin see with a her Right 29 girls I've had many pies it's pie season guess what I had last night

7:25Sofia Tuxford: what? chipotle oh my god did it hit oh my god I have to say the last time I got it it didn't hit yeah because like they don't care when it's when they're building a delivery bowl because it's just like you're not there they're using the ugly scraps like to be fair the guacamole was like yellow brown but I thought just mix it in it's fine come on just mix it in and wow it was phenomenal okay sorry well and the rice it was like big clumps of rice in so I put toss those to the side oh I like those the sticky bits oh but like hard it was like old rice ah congealed but it was I might get that again tonight it really really hit

8:04Cinzia Cozzi: really yeah it was really really good well you know what I've got for tonight chicken dumplings can't wait fuck inhale and do you know where we need to go still

8:12Sofia Tuxford: though we've not been it's been years where ding taifung we've never been yeah because do you know what we need to get the chocolate fucking dumplings have you seen them? Sophia's not even seen them you get a fucking dumpling it's filled with chocolate chocolate it's filled with chocolate where is it? everywhere there's one in London there's one in New York they're all over America why aren't we going in New York? we could but then it's like it's somewhere we could get here this is the problem and then you get a cream that you dip it in wow you dip the dumpling in the cream and then eat that's like hot melty there's the chocolate inside the dumpling yes of course wow that sounds good and it oozes out that sounds really good yeah so whoa i could eat that right

8:58Cinzia Cozzi: now whoa yeah wellzers well i could eat that yeah for sure yeah well i've been on my pies and my roasts i'm very happy it's roast season yeah yeah i've not had a roast since christmas yeah really actually no that is a lie past couple sundays i've haven't had one in a long time It's booked in now. That's the thing. Yeah, good for you. Yeah, pie during the week, pie or two. Roast, jackpotatoes still. Yeah. I'm really in my just like warm food era.

9:22Sofia Tuxford: Yeah, love that for you.

9:23Cinzia Cozzi: Thank you.

9:24Sofia Tuxford: Did actually find some gravy granules in my cupboard. They were out of date though. I had to throw them away. But I didn't even know they went out of date.

9:31Cinzia Cozzi: I've definitely had out of date gravy. Check the dates of your things, everyone. What kind of gravy are you buying? Bisto's best, aren't you? Me too. Interesting. Sometimes I get the chicken.

9:40Sofia Tuxford: Did you see that TikTok of that American lady? Yeah. And she was... Eating the beans. No, she was eating the gravy and biscuits. She was in America. She was like, so today we're going to try gravy and biscuits. American gravy versus British gravy. And British gravy is like, it's in these like granules. Like, what is this? She didn't. She just put the granules on the fucking mashed potato. Didn't fucking mix it with boiling water. So it was such an unfair test. She put her gravy from her restaurant on the plate. It's like, yummy. Yummy gravy. That's how I remember them. Like, nothing could beat our gravy.

10:14Sofia Tuxford: And then she just fucking shook the cranules.

10:17Cinzia Cozzi: Sprinkles. Isn't that some sort of brown sprinkle consistency?

10:21Sofia Tuxford: I don't know if she was rage-bating. I don't know what that would taste like. I think she was like, okay, yeah. A flavor's kind of there, but like, your texture is a little bit off. A little crunchy. It's a little crunchy. I don't know why the British do that.

10:33Cinzia Cozzi: She must have been rage-bating. I don't think she was genuinely. That is like common sense.

10:37Sofia Tuxford: Well, it's like, just read the packet.

10:38Cinzia Cozzi: Yeah.

10:38Sofia Tuxford: It says, there's instructions on the back.

10:41Cinzia Cozzi: They're not really using kettles though, because it's not tea. They don't have kettles. It's not tea culture.

10:46Sofia Tuxford: To have a kettle in America, it's right. Weird. Yeah.

10:48Cinzia Cozzi: Yeah. It's like a pot of coffee. Coffee's on the pot. Right. You know, it's not like instant coffee and like tea, is it? Yeah.

10:55Sofia Tuxford: Well, they're flavoring their water and they're putting syrups in their water and, you know, they're doing all that. I really want a snow cone though. Snow cone? Have you ever seen a snow cone? We've never had a snow cone. Only from like the film elf. Have you not seen the ladies on TikTok who are like, today's snow cone for this? It's like an ice cone. It's like snow. And then they're putting the syrups on this. That sounds like sensitive teeth hell. And then they're, yeah, and then they're putting the syrups on the snow cone. So this customer asked for blue raspberry. He's put the blue raspberry out and orange creamsicle.

11:24Sofia Tuxford: Orange creamsicle. And it's like orange and blue.

11:27Cinzia Cozzi: Orange creamsicle.

11:27Sofia Tuxford: I mean, I'm not seeing it. What flavor even is that? I know. I've seen that.

11:30Cinzia Cozzi: Orange creamsicle.

11:31Sofia Tuxford: And it's like this big glugging, like syrup going on the snow cone. Looks like I just need to try it. I fear that doesn't sound good. But I feel it's like a slushy.

11:40Cinzia Cozzi: Right. I'm not really a slushy girl.

11:42Sofia Tuxford: It's like flavoured. I'd rather have an ice cream. Yeah, I mean, me too. However, it's just the experience. And what's it served in? Paper comb? Plastic comb? In a plastic comb. Or what comb? In a plastic comb with a spoon. Spoon.

11:55Cinzia Cozzi: In a plastic. I'm going to get the plastic spoon. With the plastic spoon. Because we're in America, everything's plastic. Yeah, everything's plastic. With a spoon. Yeah, for sure. Would you like to dive into this week's episode? Oh, yeah, I can take it away, actually.

12:05Sofia Tuxford: Yeah, sure, for sure.

12:05Cinzia Cozzi: This week's birthday bash.

12:08Sofia Tuxford: Oh, my God. I wasn't prepared for the celebration today. I would have worn something nice.

12:13Cinzia Cozzi: Break date bash.

12:15Sofia Tuxford: Okay. Oh, I've got a question of the week.

12:17Cinzia Cozzi: Of course.

12:19Sofia Tuxford: Question of the week. What grown-up thing did you think you'd do all the time when you were little? Aha. I've got a few of these. Probably like go play tennis, you know. Oh, okay. Probably like, is this the vibes we're on? Yeah, go for it. you know like you'd see like it's your birthday good piss girl um what else like what i thought that we would be in heels all the time oh yeah that's yeah i also thought speaking of friends

12:49Cinzia Cozzi: that like we'd be like seeing people before work and like getting coffee before work oh yeah i've seen that on tiktok yeah um i but yeah that's true actually i do feel like we would know stuff

12:58Sofia Tuxford: our mums get ready every day properly like jeans belt top makeup everything and then they're never just in sweats never in sweats it's like full outfit is in a lulu lemon oh okay girl i see you yeah okay lady yeah see my mom's always like you know like she's like outfit like shorts like linen short you know like always like a proper outfit yeah and she's never in a hoodie no exactly well no yeah she's got one zip up that she wears yeah and it's like well girl yeah okay yeah they're not wearing casual do you know what i mean so like maybe getting like because well we'll rock around in pjs all day i feel like they don't do that they don't do that wear a bra every day yeah because that's like my mom should put on a proper bra like proper bra going on yeah have dinner party and also i feel like back then they didn't have bralettes no and they didn't have like just

13:46Cinzia Cozzi: a soft it was always a situation oh my god because like why why was our first bra like a full wide situation i had a full wire padded bra yeah it was so cute it was white it had pinks hearts on it

13:56Sofia Tuxford: it was from test it girl you get those titties out yeah it was super cute have dinner parties all the time yeah like hosting yeah uh that would go to the club every weekend and it would be like the movies yeah you probably we probably thought that we would like the old music videos evacuate the dance floor oh yeah yeah i actually really want to get like what were the heels like some like platform heels like you know like they would like paris would wear in the 2000s yeah i think that'd be quite cool yeah i wish we would rock around like that me too like every day though Every day. Wear a pencil skirt and six inch heels to the office.

14:30Sofia Tuxford: Yeah. Yeah. That's what I thought you'd be doing too. Me too. Have wine every dinner. Yes. With dinner. Yeah. Glass of rose. Glass of wine.

14:37Cinzia Cozzi: Glass of wine, honey. Glass of wine for the lady.

14:39Sofia Tuxford: Yeah. Yeah. Don't even like wine. Love it. You like wine. Only white. Only white.

14:44Cinzia Cozzi: Don't really care about rose. Still don't like red. Love the smell of it. Don't like the taste of it. Yeah. I could. Yeah. I just hate wine. Which is crazy because you were like a wine girl. I know, girl. I was a wine girl.

14:57Sofia Tuxford: had no chance yeah yeah me versus wine yeah i thought i would need to know the phonetic

15:04Cinzia Cozzi: alphabet what the hell's that again is that abacada oh hotel for god sugar i hate that on the phone my mom does it all the time my mom just makes it up like mom that's not right s for my daughter's name sophia

15:22Sofia Tuxford: it's like Fiona it doesn't quite work like that yeah what is the actual real phonetics

15:28Cinzia Cozzi: do you for where

15:28Sofia Tuxford: should we read what the real phonetics are it's like fucking weird

15:31Cinzia Cozzi: I know hotel is H and G is golf S is for sugar right

15:35Sofia Tuxford: S for sugar yeah S for sugar S for sugar R for Romeo okay that's just that's just Angie's version oh Sierra Leone yeah yeah yeah absolutely right so this is the phonetic element A for Alpha.

15:52Cinzia Cozzi: What's B?

15:53Sofia Tuxford: A for Alpha. B for Bravo. Bravo. C for Cat. C for Charlie. Yeah, my mum said that before. C for Charlie. My mum defo says C for Cat. D for Delta. D for Dog. E for Echo. E for Echo. This one, F for Foxtrot. My mum has said that before, F for Foxtrot. I thought it was Freddy.

16:14Cinzia Cozzi: Fiona gets his one. F for Fiona.

16:17Sofia Tuxford: My name's Fiona, so it's F for Fiona. i for hyona o for owner n for nina uh g for golf yeah i know that one hotel hotel i india

16:29Cinzia Cozzi: oh i didn't know that one j juliet i think i would have said igloo or ice yeah j juliet yeah

16:34Sofia Tuxford: i think i knew that j juliet yeah k for kilo kilo i would not have got that i would not have said

16:39Cinzia Cozzi: l for lima lima my mom said that before l for love m for mike m for mike yeah n for november Oh, I think I knew that one. P.

16:50Sofia Tuxford: Papa.

16:52Cinzia Cozzi: Papa, Romeo, golf. Is it? Yeah, I know that.

16:54Sofia Tuxford: Q, Quebec. Q for queen. R, Romeo. S, Sierra. Sierra. T for tango. Tango, yeah, I knew that one. U for uniform. Not heard that. V for Victor. Victor. Victor. W for whiskey. Whiskey. X, X-ray. Y for Yankee. Z for Zulu. Zulu?

17:15Cinzia Cozzi: Z-U-L-U. Z for Zulu. Z for zebra, surely.

17:20Sofia Tuxford: I know, what the hell? What the hell is Z for? Anyway, yeah, no chance. But also like we're not phoning up and doing stuff on the phone. I think it's police officers that have to know that and that's it. Really? Yeah. And like, yeah. I'm just making them up. Our era, we're not calling up. F for food. Yeah. N for mash. Yeah. We're not calling up these days. P for pie.

17:43Cinzia Cozzi: L for leggings. A for aloe. L for Lululemon B for Bershka M for Mango and Z for Zara

17:59Sofia Tuxford: I really thought quicksand would be a regular worry me too I thought we'd always be sinking in that shit yeah because didn't they see just how to get out of all the kids programs it's quick fire order a takeaway every night well I do I thought all adults Could change their names When they turned 18 Well yeah But yeah you thought You could just I'm going to go change my name Write checks on a regular basis Yeah I'm going to write this check out to you Cash My mum used to write checks Really Yeah Checkbook

18:31Cinzia Cozzi: Checks I'd love to write a check I would

18:33Sofia Tuxford: It's something sexy about it

18:35Cinzia Cozzi: I don't even really know how to write a check

18:36Sofia Tuxford: I don't have a checkbook They don't You don't They don't use this They don't send them out when you get a card But you can scan them you know

18:42Cinzia Cozzi: And it goes onto your app Really Yeah I had a check once I could scan it

18:45Sofia Tuxford: What were we doing checks? I didn't even get it. Christmas, money, checks.

18:49Cinzia Cozzi: Oh, and then it comes out your bank. It comes out their bank and goes into yours. If you cash it.

18:53Sofia Tuxford: If you cash it out. If you cash your checks. Oh, to be fair. Yeah, I remember receiving a pretty big check one time.

18:57Cinzia Cozzi: Oh, yeah? Yeah. How much was it worth? £250. Yeah. Did you cash it?

19:01Sofia Tuxford: Yeah, I cashed it out.

19:03Cinzia Cozzi: Okay, what grown-up thing did you think you'd be doing all the time? Wear heels every single day. Period. Yeah. Iron clothes all the time. Use a fax machine. Yeah. Yeah, I've never used a fax. Fax. I'm going to fax that right over to you. Yeah, let me fax you. Go to bed late. Period. I'm in bed by 10. Cook from a cookbook. Yeah, I think I thought I'd be doing that as well. Yeah, like following recipes. Yeah. Let's go. Go to the bank. Yeah, I thought we'd have to go to the bank as well.

19:29Sofia Tuxford: But you know Americans have to go to the bank. Yeah, I think so. They have to pay shit. They have to pay their bills and go to the bank and do it, I think.

19:36Cinzia Cozzi: You can pay stuff at the post office.

19:38Sofia Tuxford: Can you? Yeah.

19:40Cinzia Cozzi: enter every competition on the tv by calling up yeah yeah i thought i'd be doing that too yeah go out for drinks on a school night i thought i would go on loads of dates yeah and i thought i'd be doing taxes by hand 12 times a year yeah i do my taxes and i gotta go to the bank

19:54Sofia Tuxford: in my heels well today i've gotta go to the bank yeah for sure

20:02Sofia Tuxford: just before we get into it quick disclaimer just to say we are not doctors we are not professionals we do not actually know what we are talking about this is a light-hearted space okay don't take what we say literally because we could be wrong yeah and if there's anything serious if

20:15Cinzia Cozzi: there's anything you feel like you're seriously struggling with please contact a gp a professional because that is not us we're just girls girls and boys just like you we're just trying to get through life as well not professionals enjoy the episode enjoy whoa first lemma this has brought the tone am i ready this is serious oh really listen to this i cheated on him the night after

20:39Sofia Tuxford: we got engaged sarah oh i mean fair enough was that like a panic response from you being like

20:48Cinzia Cozzi: i don't want to be engaged i need to sabotage this situation it was a i shouldn't have said yes yes

20:53Sofia Tuxford: why didn't i just say no now because this big life thing has happened to me now i've realized what i do want and it's that daddy over there did you see that thing on tiktok that was like

21:01Cinzia Cozzi: me defending my friend in every situation oh yeah you say she's a serial killer yeah really you know where's the serial it was one person okay where's the serial and then it was one person yeah so stop saying that where's the serial in that for sure yeah oh okay i've been a fan since the first episode and if i hadn't gotten myself in such a mess i would be excited to have something to write in about but i'm still grateful i knew exactly who to write in for advice okay let me preface by saying that I know what I'm doing is wrong, but I feel completely stuck.

21:35Sofia Tuxford: Oh, so you've not even like from that one action, like took action to break off the engagement. Make action, Sarah. We're put into action.

21:44Cinzia Cozzi: So from that one action, you've not done action to create action by the sounds of it. Put it into action, Sarah.

21:49Sofia Tuxford: So you're stuck in, you're obviously, it's having, you're having a quick sound when she's thinking. She's having an affair, unfortunately, Sarah.

21:56Cinzia Cozzi: let me give you some context yeah me and my boyfriend brian or i guess i should say fiance have been together for four years we are part of a big friendship group but hadn't even spoken one-on-one until one night a whole group of us went out after both of us had just ended our relationships we were both drowning our sorrows together at the bar and one thing led to another and we ended up sleeping together yes just looking at its surface level it sounds romantic you know two people looking for a rebound but being unable to let go so this is how we met brian our fiance say but it's never been that easy so you were part of a bigger group and then one night you were both left there both found yourselves recently broken up and that was both fresh

22:35Sofia Tuxford: from a relationship as well like no single time really and kind of just fell into another

22:39Cinzia Cozzi: relationship we are completely different people and we're all and where opposites may attract in some cases for us it's always caused massive disagreements until someone begrudgingly compromises or we drop it because we're too tired to continue to fight or find a solution I know it sounds like I'm making excuses for what I've done, but I genuinely can't explain how we stayed together other than we're each other's most convenient option. We're from the same area. Our parents know each other and have become best friends since we started dating. I've since started working at Brian's parents' business.

23:13Cinzia Cozzi: We have the same friends and we give each other space in the sense that we've become so apathetic. We basically live different lives outside of living together and having a good life. dog okay so it doesn't sound like the most romantic situation i found the love of my life it sounds like a convenient thing that you've both kind of found yourselves in it's a bit tricky to get out of it because you work for the parents business yeah we live together we've got this dog but we spend our weekend separate it doesn't sound like there's much romance and love but then

23:43Sofia Tuxford: your feet but then because all the families are connected and the working situation you're thinking I'm thinking, well, I can't, if I break up with you, I can't still work here. And yeah, it's, you're feeling a little trapped. You're trapped. Set them free.

23:58Cinzia Cozzi: That's one thing I thought was the kid as well. Yes. We'd all be stuck in that fucking trap town.

24:03Sofia Tuxford: Fucking those poor kids. Never got out. Fucking never see their family again. Poor parents, but they wish they'd never sent their kid off to that game. Why would they even sign their kid up to that? Mom, never let me do that. Wasn't like Dick and Dom in the bungalow.

24:14Cinzia Cozzi: Didn't something happen there where there would be, something would happen? I know that was your like favorite show. I didn't watch that that much. Oh, that was my jam. So I can't really remember. That was my shit. I watched it a bit, but not really.

24:24Sofia Tuxford: I think there was a thing where, yeah, they got that. It was like, whoa, how are the parents allowing this? Yeah. Those poor parents. They sleep in the bungalow or something. It's something, I don't know, something. Crazy parents.

24:35Cinzia Cozzi: This is where the dilemma begins. Brian celebrated his birthday earlier this year. We were going through another rough patch. You've got to break up with this loser. We did our best to drop it for the occasion, but we barely spoke all night. The party was at his house with all our friends and family in attendance. He went to grab the mic for what I thought would be a thank you speech but instead he turned to me when he did his whole speech about being so thankful to have met me and how he couldn't imagine his life without me. Every alarm bell in my head started ringing. He got down on one knee and I thought I was going to faint.

25:10Cinzia Cozzi: If the scenario had been any different I would have said no but with everyone's eyes on me and me being a complete people pleaser, I said yes.

25:20Sofia Tuxford: That is like, that is horror movie type shit, that.

25:23Cinzia Cozzi: Well, the fact that you're being proposed to and alarm bells are ringing and you want to faint.

25:31Sofia Tuxford: But also like you were having a shit night. You're like, I've not even spoken. You're having an argument. It's like, you're already having all these doubts about him. And the fact that he thinks that - I don't know why he thought that was a good time to do that. He's on such a different page to you. It's like, what the fuck are you doing? Like what is going on in your fucking brain? Also, why are you doing it in front of everyone we bloody know in the whole world? That's like actually...

25:49Cinzia Cozzi: The rest of the night was a blur with me pretending to be happy while seething on the inside. Seething? I took the ring off the second we got into our room. We really, we couldn't really have an argument while his parents were sleeping next door. So I had to keep it in until we got home. Wait, so you just... It was our worst screaming match to date. And trust me, there's been many. my biggest anger came from the fact that we were in the midst of dealing with another bad patch and i have made it so abundantly clear that i never ever wanted a proposal in front of other people i hate being the center of attention everyone who knows me for more than two minutes is aware of that i feel like he did it knowing i would have he's doing it as a way to like punish you

26:30Sofia Tuxford: he's like doing it on purpose it's like you're not that fucking stupid like you know right now I don't want to get engaged to you. Like I'm having doubts about you because we are arguing so much. You also know that I don't like doing shit like this in front of all friends and family like this. Like you're doing it to punish me and embarrass me like on purpose. If he's that, I do believe he's that sick and twisted like some men are.

26:51Cinzia Cozzi: I felt like he had done it knowing I would have said no if he asked privately. Yeah, he's trapped you in this situation. He's trying to guilt trip you.

26:57Sofia Tuxford: So he got all the friends and family there to witness it. So you couldn't say no to trap you. I think I make you like the bad guy Yeah If you walk away Oh that's You know how scary that is Yeah that's terrifying You need to get rid of this man

27:09Cinzia Cozzi: I'm very afraid of him When I confronted him With that He just shrugged I stormed out of the house What the fuck And towards the nearest bar Who is this You can guess what happened next

27:18Sofia Tuxford: Oh here we go

27:19Cinzia Cozzi: I was five cocktails in When a guy approached me We started dancing Then kissing Then went to the bathroom In the toilet Period Yeah Brian was already asleep So I slept in the guest room I don't remember Exchanging numbers with Steve but I woke up to a text asking if I was okay, which I ignored until that evening. Brian was once again stonewalling me the whole day, acting like nothing had happened. This guy. So I left again. I called Steve asking if he wanted to get drinks. He invited me to his place. He even sent an Uber to get me. We ended up ordering food to have alongside our drinks and then ended up in bed together.

27:54Cinzia Cozzi: Considering I was considerably less intoxicated and we were not in a public space, I was actually able to appreciate the sex. Yeah. And without giving too much information, it was exactly what I'd been needing.

28:03Sofia Tuxford: Rocked her world.

28:04Cinzia Cozzi: Needless to say, this wasn't the last time. We started texting and FaceTiming constantly. I spent entire weekends with him and we even went on some trips.

28:14Sofia Tuxford: Where the hell does Brian think you are? He doesn't care about her. He literally doesn't even care. He's like, you do whatever. I don't like, but also, but what is this situation?

28:22Cinzia Cozzi: I don't know.

28:23Sofia Tuxford: Does Steve not know obviously that you're engaged? He's not got you on. I don't think he knows. He must, because obviously she's not got the ring on or anything and.

28:30Cinzia Cozzi: I gave Brian haphazard excuses for my absence, but I don't think he'd have questioned me even if I said nothing. He doesn't care.

28:36Sofia Tuxford: He doesn't think you've got the balls to even do anything like this anyway.

28:40Cinzia Cozzi: This is where I feel like the core issues lie in the relationship. We both want completely different things from our partners and lives. He is perfectly happy to settle and be complacent despite the constant tension and disagreements. I want to talk through problems. I want to resolve them. I want passion. I want effort. Steve has given me the honeymoon stage that I never had with Brian. He shows genuine interest. He's got me memorized more than Brian seems to have in four years. He's caring, attentive, ambitious, intelligent, funny. It's exact right mix of passionate and fun. I feel so desired by him, et cetera, et cetera.

29:13Cinzia Cozzi: Nice. Steve knows I'm in a relationship. I told him before we hooked up the first time, but that hasn't deterred him. He says he's so sure about me and our future that he doesn't mind me needing time to figure things out. which did make me suspicious about how serious he actually was but when he met my two closest friends they both agreed that i need to end things with brian so i could explore this because our connection was undeniable because at least you've got some friends to lean on who kind of know the situation i'm happy about that everything seems to have lined up perfectly and yet here i am months later still technically in a relationship apparently i'm no better than brian because despite knowing we have no future and not having any feelings for him anymore i can't bring myself to end it.

29:55Cinzia Cozzi: I know it's not logical. The only real issue is my job, but I've had other offers elsewhere. So it's not even really an issue. I guess it's the thought of the ripple effect it will have on friends and family that is making me worry. I know delaying it is making it worse and I can't make myself miserable just to avoid inconveniencing others. But I never want to be the one causing a stir for people I care about. Despite that, I also know I'm being unfair to Steve whose patience will run out at some point I don't want it to get to that point yeah what we have is definitely worth exploring and he's more than I could have ever dreamed of I actually feel like I'm with a man for the first time in my life who wants to have momentum and progress in his relationship and in life in general so how do I get over this mental block and actually break up with Brian how do I initiate the conversation and do it in a way that is firm but not cruel most of our serious discussions have derailed into screaming and saying hurtful things or shutting down and i would like to somehow end it on a note that is not terrible any advice

30:53Sofia Tuxford: well fucking hell you gotta get rid of this brian like i i think his deal is he just wants a wife at home it's like we are we do not have a good relationship why would you propose to me oh i

31:02Cinzia Cozzi: think it's very clear as well like you guys aren't in love i'm not sure if you've ever really been

31:07Sofia Tuxford: like in love it's it's like a comfortability it's it's a familiar thing it's it's a settling thing

31:14Cinzia Cozzi: it's the families it's a we're here now it's a four year thing yeah for him he's like

31:18Sofia Tuxford: well this is it now families like we're in the home now we're of the age

31:21Cinzia Cozzi: whatever that age is yeah like she'll do

31:23Sofia Tuxford: like I may as well propose lock her down I actually think

31:26Cinzia Cozzi: although the proposal was not what you would want awful at all I actually think it's a huge blessing that this proposal has happened because it's kind of forced you because I think you probably have been coasting in this relationship because it sounds like you guys never really like you were always clashing so i think you were coasting and i think you probably could have continued to coast for sure so actually the fact that this proposal's happened has kind of put a stopping point to the relationship and it's made you think like oh okay like do i want to continue like are we going to get married then or are we going to break up well you've like woke up and

32:02Sofia Tuxford: think well actually i don't want to fucking marry you yeah so i need to get out steve aside this

32:07Cinzia Cozzi: whole engagement has has forced you to be like right am i moving forward with this then or am i not like we can no longer coast because we're engaged now so we're either going to action that or we're going to break up oh yeah so i think even though it's infuriated june it's not what you wanted i do think you can take a silver lining and be like actually it's it started the breakup for me so i'm kind of glad that it happened i think we're just going to pull off

32:29Sofia Tuxford: the band-aid now that's it that's all we have to do and i think we tell our friends family

32:34Cinzia Cozzi: i've not been happy for a long time you already know everyone knows that we argue yeah i didn't you know I would hate that kind of proposal. Like I don't want to get married. No one in your family is going to be like, you have to marry him. Like no one who loves you wants you to marry someone who you don't love.

32:48Sofia Tuxford: I think no one cares that much. If this is your decision and they love you, they will support you. It's more just like, you're just a bit, it's a bit awkward. And yeah, you've got to have these awkward conversations and like kind of be like, and like see his mom and dad and be like, bye, like I guess I'm quitting. Like, yeah, it's awkward. And like, I don't want to do that either. And like, you don't want to do that.

33:07Cinzia Cozzi: but you don't want to once it's done it's done exactly and also like you don't want to be

33:10Sofia Tuxford: miserable for the rest of your life sarah you've got one life yeah and like you just got to get out he sounds awful as well the stonewalling like the fact that he would even do this in the first place like he sounds like not very person no so how are we going to do it so we're living together we'll sit him down one afternoon yeah i think tell your mom and your dad first and your friends get their support you need to feel that like yeah you can do it today go on yeah we'll be outside waiting for you and then you can come around and we can you know like you need people holding you accountable and kind of being there on the day so tell them first be like yeah okay i think we're gonna do it on thursday i just just need to tell you and like i need to get out of this relationship like they're gonna like yeah okay we support you la la la okay how this is what you should say you know it's best to you know they're gonna help you yeah which is great then they're gonna be there for you on the day you know you've got the support system behind you it's not like you're doing it alone and then no one knows it's like mom i've just broke it like you you've got the support and then you just gotta go in sit him down so this isn't working for either of us look at us look at us i don't think you're happy i'm not i'm not happy and i think i'm ready to just step away

34:17Cinzia Cozzi: yeah i'm ready to step away and hopefully it doesn't turn into a shouting screaming i think

34:22Sofia Tuxford: you can just get your points across but like look you don't have to go into the details because i think you're already like checked out and over it i just be like we're we're not meant to be for each other and i wish you well and i think we we just need to move like separate and yeah that's

34:35Cinzia Cozzi: the end of that and if you want like if it does get heated and it does get shouty screamy i think it's best just to leave walk out and then you'll have your convoy waiting outside for you so you can hop straight in and then if you still feel like oh there's things that i didn't get to say blah blah like you know as a dress you can always write him a letter if you feel like there's stuff

34:54Sofia Tuxford: that you want to get out you can pop it down on a big text yeah you can write a message usually after a breakup in person there's probably like some back and forth texting yeah there's some stuff to say you can probably get it out then like all the points you didn't cover but in terms of just like saying something to his face but i don't want to be with you anymore like i can't do this anymore yeah i don't want to get married this is an awful relationship i don't want to get married here's your ring yeah i think as long as you agree like do you want this because i don't like because i find it really weird that you've been proposed like it's all really weird yeah and like I don't want to be with you sir yeah and I think I'm logging off yeah I'm getting out of here and then you can oh the weight oh my god wow the weight the world will be lifted oh my god and once you're out of that house and you've quit that job and you found another job which you said you've got other options which is great yeah then you can start exploring things with Steve yes without a guilty conscience and just have fun and fully immerse yourself see what happens yeah and just have a good time and he might not be the one but he might be yeah and that's beautiful you can explore that with him or you can go on and be single and have sex with whoever you want.

35:59Sofia Tuxford: Yeah. And oh, it's going to be great. Have a great time. Yeah. Look, this is like a big major crossroads and you can't coast on through this, just having this affair and still being with this awful Brian. You just, you need to do it now. Before the end of the year, before the end of the year, you're going to, imagine how you're going to feel in January. Wow. You know, get through this September, October, November, December, handle all this bullshit. And then start afresh. Start afresh. It's the perfect time for it. It is, actually. And you can go into the new year just thinking, oh, I'm clear-headed.

36:29Sofia Tuxford: Because you could still be in that situation if you let it coast on until January. You can easily keep coasting. Exactly. And I think just get it done for your own sake. You've only got one life. You've got to get away from this guy.

36:39Cinzia Cozzi: Go live it, Sarah. Huzzah. Huzzah.

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38:43Cinzia Cozzi: you feel it taking over you

38:51Sofia Tuxford: ah okay just a quick or just just a little appetite quick fire what appetizer appetizer i said appetite suppressant sorry a little appetizer my boyfriend is moving to us for work am i going with him and leaving my job how much do you like this guy sarah do you actually like this guy yeah if we like this guy i'm going let's go to australia yeah i mean yeah i don't like this guy but see ya but she's working really hard on this job it's a dream job it's a dream job well i'm just i'm putting the quick fire we don't know all the details but i'm picturing this is that she loves her job it's everything to her her career it's very important to her she can't get this career in australia maybe she's gonna have to start from the bottom work way up i would stay then the details change everything these imaginary details i mean don't quit your dreams to follow a man is all i'm gonna say yeah don't quit your dreams for a man's dreams no however if you're

39:46Cinzia Cozzi: in a job that you're not that fussed about you love your boyfriend he's going to if he's actually nice he wants you to go with you like i'm going like what an experience you can always come home home's not going anywhere yeah yeah we love us we could do a year i mean the lifestyle is fantastic

39:59Sofia Tuxford: adventures to be had did you see that poor lady on tiktok and she her husband really really quick her husband just got a job in australia amazing she moved her and the kids went to australia lovely all together yeah she was loving life so so happy so so happy been together for years and years and years then they moved from one place in australia to new zealand lovely she's really happy moved to new zealand then found out her husband was having an affair with someone this whole time since moving to australia with one of her friends she just made in australia and and the friend was consoling her when he said oh i'm breaking up with you i've been having an affair like and she was the and it was a mate and this poor woman is in australia heartbroken so these men will do anything so be warned out there if you're moving to australia for a man seriously be warned run a tight ship jesus this this is this is my jam this is like my favorite type oh okay my flatmate is hosting her new boyfriend's custody visit oh custody oh my god i'm so silly are we not going to prison i thought we were in prison oh it's not prison it's just a child it's a child i thought for some reason we had some prisoner visiting the flat and i thought oh my god it's like we've got a convict right in my mind yeah your friend was dating a prisoner and he was and she was bringing him that's just where my mind but it's completely different right So we're not going to the prison today.

41:26Sofia Tuxford: But still, my flatmate is hosting her new boyfriend's custody visits at our flat.

41:32Cinzia Cozzi: Whoa. Someone's in deep.

41:34Sofia Tuxford: So your flatmate's got a boyfriend who's sharing custody of his child. And he's having like a chaperoned custody visit of this child in your flat. Yes.

41:43Cinzia Cozzi: Because he has nowhere to live. And you're just sat there in the corner on the sofa like, oh my God, what is going on? Oh my God. Girls help. Whoa. This is not appropriate. Sarah I didn't sign off on this

41:55Sofia Tuxford: Also Sarah this isn't no this is a man you met six months ago and who is this child? No Who are these seven year olds? No come on No No Sorry sweetie Sorry sweetie He doesn't have a home He doesn't have a home He needs to find his home and do that with his children in his own home I'm a stranger here like they shouldn't be meeting me like I shouldn't be here in this flat Who am I to this child? This is not appropriate. I can't be getting attached to these kids. Yeah. I can't be baking them cupcakes and cookies. And I can't be getting attached to these children. Right. I'm a long-term listener here and watch your videos since your prom.

42:33Sofia Tuxford: Get ready with me. Although I have an odd dilemma here, here and there, I have not felt the need to write in yet and prefer to look hysterically giggling to myself on my commute while listening. So you're thinking, I don't want to get involved in that. I never wanted to email you with my real issues. I'd rather just laugh at others. However. Other stories. However this has reached quite seriousness levels And I actually need to email him However the situation with my flatmates Leaves me lost on what to do So for context I female 24 I female 24 Live with my flatmates Sarah 26 And Susan 24

43:10Cinzia Cozzi: A cute little girly flat

43:13Sofia Tuxford: I'd be so pissed If Susan started doing this

43:16Cinzia Cozzi: At least you've got someone else on your side hopefully because there's three of you.

43:19Sofia Tuxford: Yeah, I'd be so... Sorry, you don't even know this man and all of a sudden he's having his custodial visits here.

43:25Cinzia Cozzi: No, I know how long are these visits as well. This is significant. This is my whole Saturday with these visits.

43:31Sofia Tuxford: Yeah. So we have a cute little girly flat. We have been friends since uni and have all moved on to our big girl jobs in finance. I don't wear a gilet. You're funny, Sarah. Susan as a Pilates and yoga instructor. Lovely. And Sarah as a primary school teacher. This is lovely, ladies. This is a lovely career path we've got here, girls. I love our little flat and our dynamic working our jobs and having relaxing time in the flat. It's perfect. This is harmonious. As I work nine to five in high intensity environments, I really value my evenings and my weekends to go out with my girls, see my boyfriend and just relax in my home.

44:07Sofia Tuxford: Yeah. Meanwhile, the kids have arrived. It's kids club.

44:11Cinzia Cozzi: Running rampant.

44:12Sofia Tuxford: Sarah got a new boyfriend this year. Who will call Brian? At first, Susan and I were happy for Sarah. Yeah Always starts off that way

44:21Cinzia Cozzi: Full of optimism Yeah

44:22Sofia Tuxford: We have known her since we were 18 And then she was 20 And we wanted to see her happy However The more I learned about this Brian Who is 27 The less I like him Oh my god I'm so scared Despite being 27 And our Sarah being a boss ass bitch She works part time in Asda Nothing wrong with the job At least But at least do it full time Oh he works Sorry I've read this all wrong Let me just regroup have a bite of cake and just I'm back in the room despite being 27 and our Sarah being a boss ass bitch Sarah's like grinding she's making her money she's doing amazing he works part time in Asda right look nothing wrong with Asda and she's saying Mariana used to work in Asda Mariana used to work in Asda great job she would get many perks she would she'd get paid more than all of us honestly yeah a great hourly rate however yeah it's not what you dream for your friend who's doing amazing boyfriend's career but at least do it full time so he's there twice a week do it with your chest because of this he still lives with his mum why isn't he doing the visits with his mum's house, that's ridiculous maybe the mum said you're not doing them here oh my god but surely the mum doesn't want you to do it in his new girlfriend's flat with all his flatmates okay as he obviously cannot support himself financially with his job to add to this and Brian has a lot of free time.

45:50Sofia Tuxford: He is often at the flat when Sarah is working, which me and Susan find uncomfortable. Susan is often in the flat alone with him as she works a more flexible working pattern. Okay, that's weird. That's weird. Yeah. There's no reason this man - We're not housing this man. This man -

46:03Cinzia Cozzi: We're slobbing out on our sofa all day. No, no. Eating all of our snacks. And I'm here on my slow morning before I go and teach yoga in about three hours time.

46:11Sofia Tuxford: And I've got this guy in a fucking green fucking polo sat here waiting for his shit to start. With his hands down his pants. Like with his hand itching his fucking bum crack His fucking ming And I actually saw a man do that Right in front of me the other day And I was like I was like that man That man's hand is down his boxers We're not itching our cracks Are we like that? That man's hand is down his pants ma 'am Right Yeah I think it's inappropriate That he is in your flat When she is not there That's not fair Also like you have a home You actually have a home Go to your home

46:40Cinzia Cozzi: Go to your mum's house Go get a free meal Mum's cooking Fridge is full Mama's cooking You know, it's a nice life at mum's house. Yeah. And go and enjoy it.

46:49Sofia Tuxford: Absolutely, while it lasts. So you guys aren't enjoying this. To add to this, Brian has a three-year-old son from a previous relationship. His ex also lives an hour and a half away, and he only sees his son occasionally as he doesn't drive. Another red flag, oh God.

47:03Cinzia Cozzi: Oh God, what's Sarah doing?

47:04Sofia Tuxford: You'd think he would have learned to drive so he can go visit his son.

47:06Cinzia Cozzi: Yeah, how's he getting to Agatha's going on the bus?

47:08Sofia Tuxford: And so claims the round trip is too long, but it's your son. That's your son, sir. This brings us back to our dilemma. Sarah and Brian have been together for 10 months And Sarah explained that Brian does not see his son much As he can't stay at his ex's Obviously And his son can't stay at his house As it's too small And his younger siblings are also at home So it would be too crowded Right so his excuse is that I can't do that Mum's house is full Mum's house is too busy And I can't drive there Because I can't drive And it's too long of a round trip Get on the fucking train

47:41Cinzia Cozzi: Yeah Get the National Express

47:42Sofia Tuxford: I don't care Go see your child

47:44Cinzia Cozzi: National Rail

47:44Sofia Tuxford: National Rail Get a rail card Yeah Shout out Shout out Sarah said I couldn't imagine I couldn't imagine I couldn't imagine Bringing this To my flatmates Is the child Spending the night At the house I don't know But I couldn't imagine Saying Sarah Susan I need like Can my boyfriend Can my boyfriend Bring his fucking Three year old child here For a custody visit No No No

48:12Cinzia Cozzi: He can't

48:12Sofia Tuxford: Sarah said that Brian and his son could stay at our flat with her to allow him to spend more time with him as we have more space.

48:19Cinzia Cozzi: How much space have we got? There's already three of us living here.

48:22Sofia Tuxford: She's asking if the child can come and stay.

48:24Cinzia Cozzi: Oh my God. Now I'm buying a crib. I'm buying toys. What's happened? This is...

48:29Sofia Tuxford: What's going on? We live in a three bed, one bath flat with a medium size living room. No. No. I'm not having a baby pissing and shitting. I'm not sharing a bathroom with your man. And his fucking child. and his child who can't fucking piss in the basin. You're not bathing this child when I want to have a shower and there's a child in my bath. No.

48:55Cinzia Cozzi: There's a child, there's a three-year-old in the shower. No, this is crazy. I'm late for work because there's a three-year-old in my shower.

49:01Sofia Tuxford: Literally. No. So Sarah did not consult me or Susan and just stated that this would be happening. Oh my fucking God.

49:10Cinzia Cozzi: Sarah, what's going on? Sarah, she's under the spell. she is under a huge spell

49:16Sofia Tuxford: lost she can't see straight and you're thinking Sarah Sarah you're so much better than you can do so much better than this Sarah

49:26Cinzia Cozzi: she's under his spell

49:28Sofia Tuxford: big time he's obviously very charming he must be attractive he's reaping a lot of rewards he gets to hang out in a nice flat all day

49:35Cinzia Cozzi: not surrounded by his siblings and he gets to bring his kid here as well and there's food in the fridge yeah absolutely and it smells nice yeah it's clean yeah bed's clean yeah there's no grime

49:49Sofia Tuxford: anywhere yeah so she just simply stated that this would be happening um as it's like one of our family members staying so she said it's just like it's not though it's not though is it so she's being like it's just like if like your mom was going to stay it's not this is a child who we no no no none of us know and it's literally just it's not your child Sarah it's Brian's child

50:13Cinzia Cozzi: and also like a mum's coming to stay once every few months maybe even once a year I think twice like this guy's coming every fucking week every night this isn't this is not the same thing no oh my god so she's so like I don't know how to talk to a three-year-old Sarah so like I don't

50:30Sofia Tuxford: want to Sarah respectfully I don't want to I want to kick back with a bottle of wine and I want to watch Naked Attraction and I can't do that when there's a three-year-old in the flat. He's going to want to put Mr. Wiggles on or whatever. He's got all his and Paw Patrol. All his building, all the dinosaurs are everywhere and it's too much. This is not, this is not. And he wants me to play

50:48Cinzia Cozzi: Fire Engines and I don't want to play Fire Engines.

50:50Sofia Tuxford: This is a girly flat. We're sat back. We're kicking back. We're watching Earl Meets World. With a puzzle. Yeah. With a puzzle. Right. Yeah. But she's obviously justified it so much in her head and he's obviously convinced her so much that yeah, this is normal one this is right and this is this is what you do in a relationship and like we're doing this for each other we're a family okay so sarah's a mommy okay so sarah's had a baby okay sarah's pregnant oh god i had a three-year-old oh god oh no sarah please you're you're 20 you're like 23 sarah or something no sarah's 24 sarah no sarah no no right oh god okay so she's just stated it's it's like his family uh he's gonna be coming over and it would be only once every one to two months so she said look once a month once every two months the baby's gonna come back look sarah's a mama child proof this apartment i'm a mama now i think even if it was a one-off thing it would be too much but sarah doesn't seem to think there is anything wrong with this and well sarah wake up

52:02Cinzia Cozzi: okay yeah this is not she's saying that it's completely normal expectation that we should

52:05Sofia Tuxford: be like sarah respectfully no you're not a mama i don't want this fucking child in my flat no no Sarah of the man we don't even like I don't want to be an auntie yet I'm not ready to be an auntie yet no oh god but she's been like you should oblige this is like this is my child this is like this is Brian who I love it's this baby it's a piece of me he's a piece of me this baby's a piece of me like no so Armie and Susan wrong Armie and Susan wrong to tell Sarah that her boyfriend cannot use our flat to have his custody visits with his three-year-old son who is not hers and no relation to any of us in the flat and play family because her boyfriend can't be bothered to go and see him.

52:50Sofia Tuxford: That's what's crazy is he's outwardly said, yeah, oh, the round trip's too long to go visit his child. Get on the fucking train. Yeah. Get on the bus. Get on the fucking bus. I don't know. Get your mum to take you. Like, you're not bringing this baby here. Like, sorry. Get his driver's license or get a full-time job to have his own flat. Yeah, it's just, I beat,

53:12Cinzia Cozzi: seething it seems like he's leeching off of sarah a little bit like he's getting a lot of upside from this lady yeah um with her lifestyle and and it's like respectfully brian like you've got a son

53:24Sofia Tuxford: yeah sort yourself out step up get a full-time job yeah make strides to move out like stop trying to force his child into fucking my flat yeah because next thing you know you're gonna wanna

53:34Cinzia Cozzi: she's gonna want to want you two to move out so he and the child can move well next thing he's

53:38Sofia Tuxford: gonna be having such a lovely time at the flat that yeah he's gonna be saying oh it's once a week now yeah because he's having such he has to come here like you know what i mean like yeah i also think that having too many people in one bathroom yes that's not okay no too many cooks like too many cooks in this kitchen already having this brian there in this bathroom is already no no and like that's a fifth person now we've got to consider for bath time brushing their teeth fucking pissing and having a poo like we're all gonna have a wee like this is not this all can't

54:08Cinzia Cozzi: go on in this toilet now we've got a potty in our living room yeah this is a mess this no so too

54:14Sofia Tuxford: many people in one bathroom especially with a partially toilet trained toddler will not work and it's not fair yeah guys you didn't sign up to live with a child like or a man plus if we take into consideration me and susan's boyfriends who are often over on the weekends that makes six people to one bathroom me and susan want to be able to come home and chill maybe have a glass

54:32Cinzia Cozzi: of wine or two maybe have a bubble bath exactly yeah um after work not come back to some hyper

54:37Sofia Tuxford: a three-year-old who might piss on our carpets and draw on our walls with bluey on the tv i think it is absolutely insane for sarah to expect us to be okay with this especially as it was not part of our original agreement when moving into the flat he is not her child our flat is also not child safe and i don't want to have to make it you're valid sarah reasons please girls tell me tell me and susan what to say and do are we bad friends for not helping her and her brian build a relationship with his son. We don't want Sarah to move out and break our bond but maybe it's time. Maybe it's time if this is something she wants to do.

55:12Sofia Tuxford: Oh, please help a very stressed out Susan and Sally. Salad and salad. Susan. Susan. It's my friend Salad. And Susan Salad. Need another name lol. Yeah, that probably works.

55:23Cinzia Cozzi: Listen, I think this is actually quite straightforward. I think it's great that you've got another girl who you can like validate each other and be like, this ain't normal. I don't like this. Like, let's go. and I think we approach is it Susan? Sarah? Sarah whoever it is let's approach Susan's Ella gently and with love we love you so much you're our best friend like we don't want to upset you we of course we know you love this little boy you know oh he's so cute isn't he you know he's just a dream yeah we're so happy that you're now mama however it's feeling very crowded in here and we're not comfortable with it at the end of the day we think it's like I think you have every right to say we love you we want you to be happy but we no longer want him coming round with the child to do the visits it doesn't feel appropriate we didn't sign up for you know everything is on your email you want to relax when you get home you want to do this you want to do that like and even say yourselves like you know we're very mindful of when we bring our boyfriends over like we don't let them stay for too long like they're in they're out like they're not lingering around like your boyfriend's here during the day when I'm here like it's not really fair on me taking up space with him like this is my space that I pay for we don't want him here when you're not here and we don't want a child here and I think you can say all of this with love I think let her process it she might be a little bit on the defense at first but I feel like she would probably come around to it and you know at the end of the day if it's time for us to move out maybe it's time to move out we're three best friends we can't live together forever and ever and ever like maybe if something was gonna happen it's gonna be this natural point now where it's like okay like it makes sense for us now to go our separate ways it was gonna happen eventually maybe so but i think you've got every right just to be like susan we don't like this we don't want it sorry but this is how we feel you and sally pay rent this is where you live if

57:25Sofia Tuxford: You don't want something to happen in your flat. Just as if fucking Sarah was bringing in drugs and she was drug dealing or she was trying to grow weed plants in the fucking basement or something. It's the same thing. Like you can say, actually, no, I don't want that to happen in my flat that I pay for and that I - You ain't cooking meth in this house, honey. You ain't doing no hair on her in here. Okay, we ain't no drug addicts, honey. Yeah, so you can say that. That's absolutely fine. You and Sally pay rent here. You have every right. Yeah, you say, sorry this is not a baby proof flat i don't want a baby here we have one toilet respectfully sorry and if you want to go and start your mama era good day salad look if us if our sarah wants needs to go and start this mama era let her go let her go and let her and brian find a place to live together yeah you know

58:20Cinzia Cozzi: dilemma number three help my ex has bought a flat on the street next to me oh god yikes a little bit too close for comfort oh god honey hi ladies love you guys so much i could have written in multiple times about this man which probably should have been my warning sign oh so this is kind of it's

58:36Sofia Tuxford: like this is a stalker act i don't like this this is like let's call 999 i'll try and keep this as

58:41Cinzia Cozzi: short as possible but give you enough context we were together for eight years he wasn't my type when we first got together again alarm he wasn't my type for eight years his personality and morals made him in my mind a good boyfriend we'd also been friends for a year beforehand so i thought the attraction would grow over those eight years we had lots of holidays days out and family time obviously we argued but we always got through it about three years ago we were on holiday with another couple and had a lovely time until karaoke night sure i did my usual song i did my usual ballad and noticed brian chatting at the bar to another girl then sitting on the chair furthest away from me i thought hmm that's odd the girl who was there with her boyfriend got up to do karaoke and brian started jumping up and down and cheering i said sir please stop that is disgusting and that if that was the other way around he would hate it this escalated into him calling me emotional and sensitive and saying he jumped up and down for everyone else shut up by the time we got back to the hotel i wasn't even annoyed about what he'd done i was annoyed about how he reacted yeah but girls it got worse at the time we were in the process of buying our first home together which i thought would be so exciting during the argument i told him he wasn't listening to me and he locked himself in the bathroom because i said he wasn't understanding what i was saying.

1:00:04Cinzia Cozzi: Brian then drafted an email to the solicitor saying he was going to buy the flat on his own.

1:00:08Sofia Tuxford: All right go ahead then buddy like I don't want to be with you anyway.

1:00:11Cinzia Cozzi: I was distraught and went to bed sobbing while he sat in the other room. Fast forward to the next day me and my friend were on the beach because I'd left him at the hotel. Wait this was all on holiday? Yes. I didn't even deep that. And I already knew what uh saying we should write in to you girls because I already knew what your answer would be. But Brian came down and apologized for everything and we moved on. Oh God. Fast forward to last September and he proposed. He used my mum's engagement ring after asking my dad, had it redesigned? And I was genuinely so happy to be engaged. Okay, that's quite thoughtful and nice.

1:00:44Cinzia Cozzi: Yeah. We started talking about saving for the wedding and our venues. We had drinks with friends to celebrate. And on our eight year anniversary, he told me he couldn't think of a better person to spend the rest of his life with. Okay. We discussed the future. We spoke about, you know, being excited to have kids. And then in November, I came home from work after he'd been on a Christmas night. out oh my god we had a brief argument over household chores which over spilled into the next day and he suddenly said he couldn't do it anymore and wanted to be single oh my god he then admitted he'd proposed to see if his doubts would go away he said we weren't compatible i was too emotional and that he would work later when i was home to try and avoid me because i work away to everyone else he said we'd grown apart but i genuinely had no idea there was even an issue i'm unsure how but i handled it with grace i bought him out of the flat he then demanded more money and certain items from the flat he wasn't exactly acting like a man who's just broken his fiance's heart should act it's now been 10 months and girls i've just found out he has bought a place on the next road wait so

1:01:54Sofia Tuxford: he knows where this flat is because you bought him out yeah the fuck sir there are thousands of

1:02:01Cinzia Cozzi: roads like another one i've worked really hard on myself since the breakup therapy making this space my own and learning to genuinely enjoy my life and this area then the other day i saw him on the street for the first time since march when he came to collect the rest of his things i kept my head held high and walked straight past him without acknowledging him i don't want to give him any ammunition to say anything so i suppose my dilemma is how the hell do i live my life when this man has now infiltrated my geographical bubble i don't want to think about him i don't want to see him and i certainly don't want to feel like i have to change how i live because of him do i just carry on living my life and eventually become completely unbothered or do i need to accept that seeing him occasionally is going to be a part of living in the area

1:02:44Sofia Tuxford: thanks girls oh what a loser idiot freak for that that why are you moving in on the road next to me like get a life you know that's a new postcode that's his last like petty kind of strike at you to be just to be nasty and just like to try and knock you down a couple pegs like him like him just saying like i only proposed to you because it was my final test like it's just nasty like oh did you ever even like care for me and my feelings like the fact that you would say all that is like he's he's a horrible piece of work i would say though it sounds like you've made so

1:03:19Cinzia Cozzi: much progress just in yourself yeah like in the flat you've built a such a lovely life for yourself and i just wouldn't even though it's so hard because you are like oh my god now every time i leave the house or take the dog or get in the car you're on anxiety yeah it's like oh are you gonna be there you're not you're not but i you know i don't think you're gonna see him every day i don't think i don't as time goes on it will kind of become the norm and you will forget that he's there it's not realistically your neighbors i think you've done so much hard work i don't want him living across the road to undo all of that and i think you've just got to keep your head held high and be like i'm not gonna let it bother me like i'm never gonna see him like it might be once in a while and like that's it yeah like you think i'm bothered by this no i'm fucking not

1:04:03Sofia Tuxford: bothered by this. You don't affect me anymore. I'm not giving you any power to affect me. You don't have any power over my emotions or how I'm feeling anymore. Also, I've lived in my flat for two years. I've seen my neighbors three times. Yeah. Who literally, our doors are like this. Yeah. So I think - You never see them. I think realistically, like, you are gonna, and because you guys aren't meant to be, the universe isn't gonna be letting you run into each other, I don't think. Like, you're gonna be missing each other. Paths won't cross. Paths won't cross. And I think after a couple months of, like, he's lived there and, like, you kind of know this I think you will forget about it me too I do because you'll have been out a few times and oh I didn't see him it's actually fine I can leave my house and he's not going to be there unless he starts being weird and starts fucking showing up and lurking then that's a whole other thing we call 999 or then we call the police yeah then we call it yeah my postcode is

1:04:49Cinzia Cozzi: hotel golf sugar yeah yeah Zulu warrior golf Frederick what was it

1:04:56Sofia Tuxford: yeah I don't fucking know boxtrot yeah yeah yeah what else was there hotel hotel um sierra sierra sierra leone golf yeah zuma yeah then we get on the phone but i honestly think you won't see him i think it's more the anxiety of it and they're like oh what what

1:05:15Cinzia Cozzi: and the thought and the feel of him being close by but it's also a trigger yeah it's like i've

1:05:21Sofia Tuxford: put that behind me sir for 10 months i don't know i don't want to be triggered by you because i know there's certain people from my past if i if i knew they were nearby oh if i'd be so triggered like You would be. You'd be on edge. But hopefully he doesn't affect your day-to-day life as much as you think it is. And then if not, we're going to have to fucking sell the flat.

1:05:40Cinzia Cozzi: I mean, maybe he won't like it. Maybe he won't last.

1:05:43Sofia Tuxford: Yeah, because obviously he's moved here under the guise that you're near. I don't know. Yeah, it's weird.

1:05:48Cinzia Cozzi: It's like surely... It's weird from him, the fact that he would want to be close to you as well. It's really weird.

1:05:52Sofia Tuxford: I think it's really weird. And yeah, I don't like the decision from him. So I think I'd be wary.

1:05:57Cinzia Cozzi: I just don't want to let him undo all the progress that you've made

1:06:00Sofia Tuxford: Yeah and he won't because we've already seen him And we thought oh I didn't even feel anything for you Freak of the week You're weird I'm so glad I'm over that Goodbye Yeah Yeah the new moment for the neighbour's really strange

1:06:09Cinzia Cozzi: Good luck Sarah you got this

1:06:11Sofia Tuxford: Oh well should we do this really quick one What is it He called me his ex's name three times How do I move past it Break up with him Yeah I don't think I fucking god You're fucking joking my name's Chintzia Break up with him My name's not fucking Susie yeah when I thought salad oh salad babe like come on that no that's alarming that's outrageous because genuinely if I'm gonna call someone someone if I'm gonna call someone something it's because I've been thinking about it babes yeah it's in your mind yeah I get called blueberry all the time yeah exactly yeah it's the same thing it's like when my mum calls me fucking Marianna Lydia Romano it's like all the names it's because they were on her mind yeah that's I'd be really scared by that

1:06:53Cinzia Cozzi: you're a cut you're a cut get out of there girl right

1:06:56Sofia Tuxford: Should we do a star of the week? Yes, star of the week. What? There ain't no star of the year, honey. What was W? Wax. Oh, I know what it is. Guess. You ain't going to get it, honey. You ain't going to get it, honey. Give me a clue. Whisk. Whiskey. Yes. Well done. Okay, Hannes. Star of the week. Here we go. Hi. Absolutely love the pod on YouTube. Thank you, Sarah. I'd like to nominate my Brian as Star of the Week. It's our two-year wedding anniversary in September. And we had a small London wedding and it was so perfect. He is my rock, the kindest, most selfless person and also the best dad dog to our dog, Bruce.

1:07:43Sofia Tuxford: I thought Bruce was going to be his name, but it's not his name. But shout out, Bruce. Shout out to Mr. Bruce and Bruce Jr. That's what we got. We've got some lovely pictures of Bruce. Oh, happy wedding anniversary. oh Bruce and the wedding lovely walking the London streets wow gorgeous flowers

1:08:01Cinzia Cozzi: really gorgeous flowers oh well happy wedding anniversary absolutely two years down forever to go huzzah huzzah well we love you guys thank you for listening absolutely if you have a star of the week entry or a dilemma you can email it to hello at thegirlsbathroom.com

1:08:15Sofia Tuxford: absolutely and you can follow us on Instagram, YouTube and TikTok and we will see you on Monday for In The GC or on Wednesday on Wednesday if you're coming back here honey We'll see you. Love ya. Goodbye. My dog is here. Woo.

1:08:36Cinzia Cozzi: Hey guys, it's Paige from Giggly Squad. Okay, can we all agree that hosting is so much fun? And I really do love it. Every weekend, it's come over for snacks, let's make dinner together, and somehow the second you put out a fruit platter, it seems that bugs show up before your friends do. This is why I have to have my Zeevo flying insect trap. You plug it in and you let it do all the work. It's specially designed blue and UV light attracts the bugs you didn't know you had. And wow, did we have a lot. Like houseflies, fruit flies, gnats. And then with Zeevo, bam. Next thing you know, the pests are caught in the sticky cartridge and away from your yummy treats without any mess or strong odors.

1:09:16Cinzia Cozzi: The best part is the design is actually sleek and curved. So it hides the bugs it catches, keeping them out of sight. And when the cartridge is full, you just grab the no mess tab, throw it in the trash, pop in a new cartridge, and then you're done. No mess, no stress. So whether you're hosting a dinner party or spending an afternoon baking treats with all your friends, and you want to focus on hosting and not constantly swatting at bugs, Zivo has you covered with 24-7 bug protection. Plug in a Zivo flying insect trap so you can work smarter, not harder, and actually enjoy your time at home.

1:09:51Sofia Tuxford: Most media plans treat frequency as a risk, something to cap. But in podcasting, that costs performance. Hearing a brand advertised repeatedly makes 50 % of fans more likely to remember it against 17 % who say less likely. And that positive impact is true against every outcome we tested. Podcasting is where repetition builds, not where it wears out. Get more insights like this from ACAST's latest podcast Pulse report, which is out now. Download for free at acast.com slash pulse.