Boy Talk: You won’t believe why he won’t stay over?

0:00Therapy's biggest impact doesn't show up in some dramatic breakthrough. It shows up in the smallest moments. You bite your tongue instead of escalating. You put your phone down instead of firing off that text. You say what you actually mean instead of what would hurt someone else the most. Nobody applauds those moments, but they quietly change your life. That's what growing feels like, and that's exactly what Grow Therapy is here for. Grow is therapy that works, covered by insurance. Sessions average$21 with insurance, and some pay as little as$0, depending on their plan. There are no subscriptions, no long-term commitments.

0:37You just pay per session. Grow connects you with thousands of high-quality, licensed therapists across the U.S., offering both virtual and in-person sessions, nights and weekends. You can search by what matters, like insurance, specialty, identity, or availability. And you can book a therapy session in minutes and begin in as little as two days, not the national 48-day average. See if you could pay as little as$0 for therapy in seconds at growtherapy.com slash ACAST. That's growtherapy.com slash ACAST. growtherapy.com slash ACAST. Availability and coverage vary by state and insurance plan. Hi, it's Mark Bittman from the podcast Food with Mark Bittman and the website The Bittman Project.

1:23One of the things that makes Whole Foods Market different is their commitment to quality standards. More than 500 ingredients are banned store-wide to give us peace of mind whether we're browsing through the store or shopping online. And it's been this way since 1980. Their selectivity makes your shopping easier. Shop Whole Foods Market in-store or online. Thank you.

1:58Oh, guys. What do you think? What do you think of our new home? Look how small I look on this big chair. We have these huge chairs. Oh, my God, you look so petite. So audio people seeing the new thumb. Yeah. New logo. Check it out. Yeah. And most importantly, the thing we're most proud of, new set. What do you think about the pink elevated but mature? Mature. Space. You know, we know some of us don't like change. We don't either. We were very anxious coming in here today. We're welcoming this with open arms, let me tell you. But look at me, so cozy. So petite. So petite. When she wants to join.

2:34So minuscule. So minuscule. But we've not got the swiveling chairs anymore. No. So we're very excited. I wonder what I'll fidget on. I know. We feel like it's the girls' bathroom, just a more mature version. It is. It feels cosier, don't you think? Yes. It feels cozier. It feels warmer. I personally am comfier. Me too. Good. Look at me. I couldn't do this on, you know, before. No, we couldn't. Look at this. I can just lay my head back. I could too. It's so comfy. If I didn't have a bun in a turtle neck. You know the only way I'd be comfier right now? What? If I was in my room's robe. Oh! Why don't we light our candle?

3:18we do have our rooms candle taking uh center stage and of course miss blueberry is here she's yet to have a wee have a wee on this carpet which is good yeah we're starting as we mean to go well i'm starting yes take her outside when she starts to you know yeah whimper yeah well we're very happy how do we feel we love our new logo we've got a facelift over here obviously we still got the tiles because we are in the bathroom of course but there's warmth i'm thinking maybe a blanket or a pillow would be nice that would be a nice touch a little photo frame maybe when i'm feeling you know when we're feeling like crazy bring in a bunch of flowers and putting them in a vase like that would be beautiful i mean we're gonna have to deck it out for christmas soon so it's gonna have another makeover did we speak to them about getting a professional in i don't think we've mentioned it yet but we can mention it when we finish recording yeah we think we might get a Christmas professional to come and do some bits.

4:14Give us a winter wonderland in here. Absolutely. Just, you know, on the arch. I agree. We've got so much to play around with now. We've got space back there for a tree. We have. So tree might be being erected soon. How long did we have the old set for? Do you know? Two years. So we'll be having this till we're 30, hopefully. Oh my goodness. Yeah. Well, we hope you like the new set, guys. We hope you like the thumbnail and the new logo. We love it. We thought it was time for a bit of a facelift and we're very excited, but it's business as usual. Over here, I mean. Absolutely, it is. We've got a cue of the dub.

4:49A question of the week. First question of the week in the new set. And we like this new set. I just had a lovely salad downstairs from the salad bar. I had a banana bread. Which was covered in butter. Was that covered in butter? Yeah. She was like, do you want butter? I recommend that. I was like, go on then. And then she heated it up and it was hot. Wow. I had some rosemary potatoes with some halimi. me and my favorite a chickpea and fatter salad so good i'll have to get something else on the way out truly get a beverage or something and we had a matcha the match was delightful as well truly delightful i've had two so far today stacking them up yeah okay so what is something question of the week what's something you confidently did wrong for years before realizing it i've got one what i always thought i've probably got a lot handbags were ham bags like i would just say handbag handbag handbag and it wasn't until i was like hang on hand bag and even now i say like handbag handbag well yeah it's almost a silent d yeah handbag but i'm in my head i'm going ham bag i didn't realize it was a hand bag what have i done wrong And like dressing down, not dressing gown.

5:59Oh. Yeah, handbag, dressing down. I've never heard of that one. Yeah. That was like my pronunciations that I did wrong for a couple of years. What would mine? Mine would have been lyrics 100%. Oh, yeah. You're a big one for that. Even just then, like Justin Bieber. You know how to hit it with a heather. Like, what does she say? She doesn't say that. Swallowed toothpaste. Ew. Oh. Why were you doing that to yourself? But I guess it's fine to ingest, which is good. Well, you know you're not supposed to rinse your mouth out after you brush your teeth. You're supposed to let the toothpaste sit in your mouth.

6:32Yeah, but that's so unnatural feeling. I would never like to do that. Apparently it's really good if you've got sensitive teeth to keep the Sensodyne in. Oh, I bet. Oh, I don't like that. Flush tampons down the toilet. Guilty. No comment. Guilty. But what? Yeah, I think I do this. Saying Chester draws instead of chest of draws. Chester. Chester drawers Chester drawers Right okay Shaving coochie hairs up Instead of down Rookie era I would have to go up I'd have to go against the grain What? I can't I've got to go back and forth What do you mean? Back and forth That's crazy Well one direction Another direction What do you mean?

7:13Yeah no but More sideways than up Sideways It's getting ways of burn I mean just You should always go With the grain No I have to go Every direction It's going to give you a bump Well Well, I've got lotions and potions for that. And we've got laser. We've got lasers for that. Oh my God. Let me talk about my first full body laser experience. Take it away. So I did feel she, right. One, also I'm scared because she does not have a podcast. Because obviously we're in there for two hours. Okay, of course. But I thought she was a little like nervy. I was like, you need to tell me what part of my body to get out next.

7:48Like, tell me to get out my bum or my vagina. Like, tell me to get it out. Was she not doing that? Well, I was like, shall we do arm sex? It was like me. I was like directing it. But it was fine. I was just a bit cold. It was like an operating table and the lights were so bright like this. And I was so pale. Obviously, I've got no fake tan on. I just felt like a deer in heaven. I remember what I did once. She had her head in my vagina. Wow. Legs wide open. Well, she couldn't do my vasoom. Because, unfortunately, it was on my period. Unfortunately. But it's probably best to avoid it then anyway, because it would have been very sensitive and probably more painful yeah um but i it's a soprano ice machine um painless who was it that said it sounded like a drink was it bad oh yeah no grace it was the soprano ice someone said it sounded like a drink yeah it does yeah who said that so who were we with when we were talking about it because i've done extensive research because basically i want laser without the pain and the soprano ice machine wow truly no truly barely any just a little bit of heat.

8:53I need to get involved. It wasn't like, I've had it before where it's like, ah, like that. And this was like lovely. And I just felt like I was doing something great for future chintzier. Like summer chintzier is just going to be so proud. And the wintertime is prime lasering time, isn't it? Turtleneck. I don't need fake tan on. Who needs it? Do you know what I mean? Who needs it? Look, even like all I'm showing is, you know, move fingers. Fingertips. Fingertippers. Being in a relationship with men rather than women. Something I did confidently wrong. Yeah, absolutely. saying living to be an ogre instead of living la vida loca living to be an ogre it worked that was something i did wrong as well for years as well yeah something i did wrong the christmas song feed the world yeah i've said this before i thought it was be no yeah be no comics no i used to it was be no yeah well yeah because you unless you know i didn't know it was feed the world i I didn't know it was a charity anthem.

9:52Right. See how to put it together and realised that it was for charity. But it was quite late in life that it realised it. Yeah, but that was something I did wrong for years. Saying porcupines instead of porcupines. Porcupines? This girl said staying with her ex. Yeah, classic. I've got saying chimney instead of chimney. Oh, chimney. Chimney, chimney. Oh, that's the best film in the world. wiping back to front oof you should never you should never it's more natural for us girls to just go front to back I yeah because otherwise you are wiping poo into your vagina oh sorry she's talking about the front or the back she's saying wiping from the back to the front so essentially wiping poo when she's wiping her vagina or when she's wiping her bum she's just said wiping back to front so that means from the back door to the front door babes yeah yeah doesn't it unfortunately eating the parts of edamame beans i did that too my first time the first time swallowed the whole thing babe babe you don't eat the whole thing oh it's very uh didn't clean my tongue until i saw on tiktok very important a little tongue scraper pronouncing asos as individual letters asos asos why don't you check asos okay um thinking the saying was six cents not sixth sense what did you think it was sick oh you're six you could get away with that to be honest you're six cents yeah you could you could get away with that um thinking a carpenter was someone that laid carpets.

11:37Fair. Yeah, that's an easy mistake to make. What do you call someone that lays carpets? A carpet layer. Right? I don't know. I was asking you a question. I'm assuming so. A carpet man. A carpet fitter. There we go. A fitter. A fitter of a carpet. We've got, finally, saying splitting image instead of spitting image. I mean, yeah. She's the splitting image. Splitting image. Excuse me? Oh, okay. That was a good one. I liked that.

12:09just before we get into it quick disclaimer just as we are not doctors we are not professionals we do not actually know what we are talking about this is a light-hearted space okay don't take what we say literally because we could be wrong yeah and if there's anything serious if there's anything you feel like you're seriously struggling with please contact a gp a professional because that is not us we're just girls girls and boys just like you we're just trying to get through life as well not professionals enjoy the episode

12:36Right, it is Boy Talk today. Boy Talk in the new studio. Lovely. Maybe we'll have some new, maybe this studio's going to give us new wisdom. Yeah, because it's giving a new energy. It's like, you know, I'm in my total next night. It's giving level head edge. Yeah, it's giving business in the front. Yeah, party in the back. It's giving business women. It's giving co-founders. Yeah, absolutely. Hey girls, been wanting to write in for some months now and finally had the guts. It's all been a huge secret, so I've had no one to speak to about it. I can't stop thinking about the secret Grace just told us.

13:09Me too.

13:13We're under strict orders not to tell anyone. Yeah, and it's taken out. She just told us the biggest secret in the world and they've just put a mic in front of me. It's not a saying. Just say it and we can bleep it out. Get it off your chair. I can't say it. Grace is watching me.

13:36okay when i was 25 i broke up with my very toxic boyfriend i won't go into details but i felt emotionally scarred lost all faith in relationships and planned to be alone forever it was in this poor headspace i found myself in a flirty situation with brian that's what this is making me think of real house when i was at beverly hills oh yeah season three season three episode nine it's kicking the fuck off so this one girl great brandy brandy shut this oh my god also i'm aware of brandy next go to la can like can we please go to sir lisa's restaurant yeah we have to go to them all yeah anyway so brandy's at this event i think she was at this event in season two and one of lisa's waitresses um she was like oh that's the girl that slept with my husband oh my god and then she so she had a husband married two kids and like this is the woman the waitress that he was cheating with it's like girl and i've just watched the episode where the girl and brandy communicate and she's like he bought me diamond earrings like it was way more than that he helped me move into my apartment and then one bit was really sad but we always used to go to this restaurant and then brandy's like that was our restaurant that's also this making me oh that is awful that is awful so it was in this poor headspace i found myself in a flirty situation with Brian, my married boss, it's HR issue now, it's our first HR issue in the new space, who was 20 years older than me.

15:07Oh God, God, God. So 2040, 25, oh no, she was 25, so 45. Shit. The fact there could be no serious future with this man is what drew me in. Right. Messed up, I know. Brian had three kids. Oh, oh, oh, oh. He's a dad. but told me he was unhappy with his marriage and planned to leave his wife. They all say that, Sarah. I wrongly used this to justify my actions of engaging in an affair with him. At first it was just physical. It was thrilling to sneak around doing naughty things at work. On the photocopier. He is a naughty, naughty boss. What I didn't expect was the fact that Brian turned out to be my dream man and we quickly fell in love he was incredibly supportive caring always made time for me and cheered me on feels like we're on another podcast it does I'm looking at you like what podcast are we on where are we yeah it does feel different yeah I've got that feeling too as I'm reading this yeah I was like we're a guest on someone else's show yeah I feel a bit lost we need time to get in yeah if I was having a bad day I come home to flowers donuts and wine on my doorstep i mean i'll take it it's not bad is it yeah she's having sex on the photocopier coming home to wine flowers and donuts go on no but what hasn't she got a boyfriend at home no she dumped him my only thing it's an affair for him him she's the other woman but the only thing here is like of course he's trying to keep you sweet because he's probably He's scared shitless.

16:46Exactly. Like you do hold the power. Yeah. Like if you, if he pisses you off, you're so quickly just like, well, I'm going to tell your wife, blah, blah, blah. I'm going to tell everyone in this office. I'm going to, you know, he's your dream man. He kind of has to be. If I saw a dress I liked the next day, I'd be delivered to my house. Shut up. Well, I've seen some boots. I'm like, right. He booked us trips all around the world. And we stayed in the most lavish hotels. What about? When I got a puppy, he would use his days off to take him out whilst I was at work. Why is he not at work? Because he's the boss.

17:22When I bought a house, he was there on evenings and weekends doing all my DIY. His poor wife. Yeah. He's a piece of shit. His poor wife. But I see how you've been lured in it and you're feeling so like, oh, this man is really like mine. He seems like the perfect man. But when you remember that he's actually cheating on his wife and kids. Yeah. When I wanted to go for a new job, he was my biggest supporter. Ironically, this affair was the happiest relationship I've ever been in. We didn't argue once and it felt like a safe bubble. He was my best friend. Were you ever speaking about it then? Probably not.

17:56No, biggest secret ever. Shit. Oh my God. Shit. As the next four years went by. No, that's really not good. Sarah, you deserve more than that than just being a secret, you know? Four birthdays. I began to get increasingly anxious about the future. Brian had never showed any signs of leaving his wife and I would never have asked him to as my intentions were never to be a homewrecker. That's probably why you weren't having any arguments because you weren't mentioning anything and he's thinking, sweet, as long as she's happy with this setup, then I can stay with my wife and still see you. I was naive in thinking he had already made the decision to leave her when we first met.

18:38Even if he did get divorced I felt too ashamed of what my friends And very conservative family Would think about me dating a much older ex-boss With teenage kids I feared I would have no support And feel very isolated So I just couldn't see our future I tried to end the relationship But kept going back I even tried dating other men But no one compared Until I met Steve Here we go This is nice Here we go Enter Steve's stage left He was my age Seemed kind had a good job and made me laugh when things started to get serious i ended things for good with brian no one more is the wicked lovely well done sarah that's growth good brian was very upset by this good he left his wife and moved in with a friend in hope of getting me back oh god or did his wife kick him out well exactly did she maybe she found because we don't we can't actually believe a word we will never know but i was skeptical so stayed strong and cut brian off completely 18 i've just remembered what the what the subject line is i can't stop thinking about him 18 months later steve is my current boyfriend he's who i should be with on paper he's perfectly pleasant we have fun together but he doesn't emotionally fulfill me he can be cold and distant and I constantly find myself reaching out to him, initiating plans, noticing his lack of physical touch and compliments.

20:07I don't feel like I can be vulnerable around him and he is often reluctant to help me when I need him. When life is good, we have fun together. But when things get hard, he just doesn't have my back. He can be a little lazy and doesn't have that thirst for life that me and Brian shared. Brian's the entrepreneur multimillionaire. Mr. Big, big boss man. Yeah. We've spoken about these issues but they remain constant. And I think this is just a difference in our personalities, which will never change. My dilemmas are, one, two, three. One, has Brian set the bar too high? And will I just constantly be disappointed by all other men?

20:45I just fear what Brian was presenting wasn't a real relationship though. No. It was almost hush flowers. Because in his real relationship, he was cheating. Exactly. It was hush flowers, hush presents. Yes, it was exciting. weekends away but that's only because he's excited because he gets to escape from his wife and kids yeah and he's got like yeah it wasn't a real relationship and then in his spare time yeah he he must have cared for you because he did come and help out but that wasn't him in a real relationship because exactly him in a relationship is cheating yeah should i continue trying to work on things from steve if not how do i break up with him when he's done nothing wrong steve doesn't do I entertain the idea of reconnecting with Brian I have no idea if he is married divorced or seeing someone new even if he was single how would I overcome the challenges of being with a much older dad I hope you can shed some fresh light on this thanks girls what a dilemma to kick us off in the news yeah that's all I'll say right Sarah Sarah I think what you had with Brian was the glamorized yeah and there probably was some real moments though well that usually is it's been going on a long time and you get very used to this like this is not a normal situation but it's become the norm very quickly it feels normal and like you kind of feel like you've got this guy to yourself because you're seeing him a lot he's taking holiday weekends away you're not ever seeing his wife or kids in the flesh so it's quite easy for you to pretend that they don't exist like they're not you can make out that they're not real people so i know somebody who signed who for years i want to say for years and years very happy with a situation where she is the other woman she is the girlfriend and she knows it she knows it it's not secret yeah that's she's okay with that and he has a wife kids a house with her it's still with the wife you know but is with this other lady as well yeah the wife knows she knows I mean they're not happy about it but that's been the set up for years and years and years it's the norm listen would that lady choose that?

23:16I don't think she would do you? no and I'm thinking you could get yourself into this situation where you love him so much that you're happy for him to you're willing to have half you're willing to share him do you want to do that though? no Because I feel like he's left his wife. All right then. Have you? Really? I don't think so. I don't think he has. No. Or unless he has. I would not get back in contact. I think what you shared was, like I said before, like not real. Yeah, it was a bit of a fabrication. And also like what happens when the flowers stop or when the gifts stop or when the exciting weekends away stop because you're just the norm to him now and he's bored.

24:01Not going to keep you sweet anymore. where's he looking for his next thrill? And I don't think like, you don't feel good about yourself in this situation. It's not helping like anyone's self-esteem or sense of worth. No, no. It's not a safe and secure environment. You know, maybe it's just the fact that Steve isn't the one that's made you think like back to Brian. Yes. And really, if you met someone who kind of ticked all your boxes, you would be like, oh, thank God that I left that whole, you know, affair situation behind. Like maybe it's just more about the fact that Steve hasn't been that perfect for you.

24:36Exactly. You're just making you miss Brian. You're just comparing Steve and Brian. Steve on paper, he's your age. He's got a good job. He's funny, but he's actually not very nice. He's not emotionally there for you. He's not rocking your world. He's actually quite not very good. You shouldn't be with him. But then you think, oh, okay, well, all I can compare him to is Brian and he got me flowers. We, you know, and all these nice things that Brian did. We need a clean slate. We need a clean slate. Brian cheated on his wife for four years. Okay. And I fear you get them, you lose them how you get them.

25:13Right. So you could get with Brian. You could have been together for two years and then it's all great. But then I fear he would cheat on you. Yeah. Brian's late at the office. And how would, right. He's got a new assistant. He's on a work trip to Illinois. You know. With his new assistant. Yeah. And they're sharing. Yeah. and you know what I mean it's like all over again you're pregnant with his baby oh like we're just living the past like this is what happened to his wives happening to you and I fear that he would do that again I think so so and I think you don't want to live in fear of like him doing that because that's his that's his that's his what's the word he's wired that way yeah like that's his being moral compass yeah moral compass yeah he's not afraid to do that no because he did it to his wife yeah who he had the kids with supposed to got married to had kids with so i terrified fortunately i think he would do it to you i think he would sarah yeah he's not a good guy and steve's not a good guy let's leave i think we need some healing time we need to be alone we need to pour into our own cup we need to do things we love make ourselves happy like you've had two guys here let's just date let's not rush into any like relationships because I feel like you kind of went from your ex you broke up with him when you were 25 straight into your boss straight into Steve and I think let's just date like let's not commit to anyone right now let's just have some meaningless fun dates see how it makes you feel eventually and just like don't hop into anything again too quickly yeah I would have like a year I would have a year to be honest at least of just solo time yeah doing your own thing pouring into If someone comes along, fine.

26:57But I would just be like, no, this is just Sarah here. You got this, Sarah. Thanks for sharing. Thanks for sharing for a bit. Thanks for kicking off the new stew. Thanks, Sarah.

27:10Therapy's biggest impact doesn't show up in some dramatic breakthrough. It shows up in the smallest moments. You bite your tongue instead of escalating. You put your phone down instead of firing off that text. You say what you actually mean instead of what would hurt someone else the most. Nobody applauds those moments, but they quietly change your life. That's what growing feels like. And that's exactly what Grow Therapy is here for. Grow is therapy that works, covered by insurance. Sessions average$21 with insurance and some pay as little as$0 depending on their plan. There are no subscriptions, no long-term commitments.

27:46You just pay per session. Grow connects you with thousands of high-quality, licensed therapists across the U.S., offering both virtual and in-person sessions, nights and weekends. You can search by what matters, like insurance, specialty, identity, or availability. And you can book a therapy session in minutes and begin in as little as two days, not the national 48-day average. See if you could pay as little as$0 for therapy in seconds at growtherapy.com slash ACAST. That's growtherapy.com slash ACAST. growtherapy.com slash ACAST. Availability and coverage vary by state and insurance plan. You're a pro at running your life, at committing to your workout, at showing up every day.

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29:09all right so sarah here's got a pickle where she's saying he won't stay the night and you won't guess why you've got one sarah what have you got you got rats um kia ora girls i'm from new zealand didn't we say that on stage i think we did yeah i think we did a long time listener of the pod and i went to your melbourne show thank you thanks sarah anyway let's get into it i recently started seeing this guy that i met at uni we have been on three dates he is super handsome kind a gentleman he's tall and just a really good guy after being in some really shitty relationships earlier this year a guy flew internationally to see me just a friend zone me halfway through the trip that's traumatic i fear that's traumatic that's awful also what a waste of time at least he flew and not you true true but it's like fucking hell we couldn't even finish this trip and have a nice time.

30:15You had to literally cut me off halfway through the trip. That's okay. Yeah, that's traumatic, Sarah.

30:24Izzy's is hitting a personal spot. Oh yeah, unfortunately. Izzy's is your email.

30:36She said, it's been refreshing to hang out with a genuine good guy on these three dates. So he's like, you're thinking, You're optimistic about this one Okay For our third date I invited him over for some dinner And to walk my dog Yes So I'm getting some tips from you Sarah You want to help me while my dog is dark outside Some dinner and walk Walk my hound Have some drinks etc Love it I got stuck in traffic and was running late Oh okay On the way home On the way home so i told him to come at seven which was later than we had initially planned he replied okay but i have to be home by 10. you know what i'm waiting for you yeah literally home by 10 why are we on such a clock well you need to be you need to be in bed at 10 what do you mean why do you need to be on such a clock i'm a married woman it's a different perspective sofia can't watch straight is at 9 p.m i save it for the weekend it's too late no one send me any spoilers please right so he said that's fine but i've got to be home at 10 so really he's probably gonna leave at half nine you've only got two and a half hours yeah it is very meek i replied 10 question mark i wanted to get drunk he said i'm on my restricted what does that mean oh my god is he in prison is he like on bail oh my god it's on house arrest he's on house arrest he's got tag Yeah.

32:04He's got a tag. Yeah, he's being tracked around the clock. He has to be in bed by 10. Yeah. Why didn't he invite you there then? Yeah, that was so silly. Well, maybe he's not wanting to... He can't get drunk if he's on house arrest. No. He shouldn't really be dating, I figure. Not at all. Wait till they find out about this. Also, he should be honest with that from... The get-go. I guess. Well, also, if you were going to have sex, was he going to keep the socks on? Oh, yeah. Well, you'd see that, I'm sure. But yeah, he could probably... Don't know, he could be distracted. True, true, true. he could probably hide it yeah until he's naked and it's like what's that and then you say take socks off i'm not going i i i wear that song it's my what's that lump on your ankle it's my womb it's just a benign tumor um it looks a little square why is it beeping red um seems to be flashing there's something in it right okay okay so he said i can't get drunk i am i'm on fucking house so he said i'm on my restricted in new zealand this is the license before you're fully licensed oh for driving sorry he's got his permit so he's not got his actual driver's license right Oh, so he can't drive Maybe he's not a felon Wait, wait, wait He just can't drive When you're on this restricted You're not allowed to drive after 10 Right Well, get an Uber Let's get the bus Get an Uber Walk Also, like I want to get drunk Yeah, like Just stay with me and my dog Well, you could always just stay Pack a little overnight bag Yeah, nothing has to happen But you could just stay You know You could just sleep on the sofa or something If you want Okay, right so he's not on he's not on House of Ress that's fine so you're not allowed to drive after 10 how do they know how do they catch that really I guess it's it's CCTV it's the Reg it could be a black box oh I see potentially that's so interesting I've never heard of that time restrictions on driving I've never heard of that either because surely like if it's dark it's dark yeah like 10-ish men why are we oh okay but New Zealand's very safe safe place it's a beautiful place beautiful and very safe so yeah they gotta look after it yeah of course they have to keep looking after it yeah they do they can't have people driving after 10 gotta look after it they wanna take care of the residents yeah it's beautiful beautiful place yeah where did we go Wahiki Island Wahuku Wahuku Mudbrick Mudbrick Winery yes a beautiful time I bought my llama in that shop Oh, my beloved llama.

34:47I love that llama. Yeah, we went to that gym as well, didn't we? That lovely gym. Lovely gym. And had some lovely food in that cafe. We did. Yes. Didn't you guys have a banana drink? A banana coffee? Me and Mark got coffee from a hole in a wall, which was quite cool. But didn't you have a banana coffee from that place, remember? Oh my God. Yes, we did. Yes, we did. Yes, Grace. Yes. That was so good. Remember it was that drive up And then he was like This is where That man lived Who did that Yes With that little white church Yes It was beautiful In New Zealand In New Zealand Right okay Yeah New Zealand Beautiful place Beautiful place Beautiful Really beautiful in New Zealand So she said Kind of an ick That he's 22 And doesn't have his full licence I mean girl But I understand Yeah I want my man To be driving all hours of the night Yeah You understand That is an ick But yeah Not for a girl, but for a boy.

35:42Sorry. But also like, if he was drinking anyway, get an Uber. Yeah. Well, maybe that's what she's thinking. Like, oh, I thought we were going to be like drinking tonight and you're driving here. And you're kind of letting me know that like. On top of it, you're unrestricted. Yeah. You're kind of letting me know that you're not going to be like having some liquid courage and having a bit of wine because you're driving home. As you should. You shouldn't be drinking and driving. Of course not. But it's setting the tone of like, oh, well, I'm driving. Like if I was going to a boy's house, I wouldn't be driving.

36:09You never know. absolutely you would want to just go in an uber i don't have to worry about parking i'm not going to worry about that i can just but anyway i told him to just stay the night okay nice nice move i'm currently house sitting okay so that was that i'm currently house sitting alone in a huge house i said i have a thing about staying the night i'd rather you i'd rather tell you about it in person what's his thing i'm getting all confused i thought i thought you sarah was saying i've got a thing i've got i'm a bit scared to stay here tonight oh my god i'm actually really scared is he a german oh so you were like just stay and he's like i've got a thing i need to tell you in person because he wanted his exit i was fuming i was with my friends at the time and we were conspiring over what it could be for context he comes from a very different cultural and religious uh background from me so we thought it must be something to do with that although he has no problem sleeping with me oh is that right sarah all right so we've had to say noted well yeah surely okay so you're like around well like cuddle me don't just you know dine and dash right do you know what i mean it's rude what is this a restaurant yeah like it's not at all into my space i also thought it could be his mother as he does still live at home that would make sense that would make sense wouldn't it like you know i'm at a girl's house yeah but not when you want what you want to hear when you're dating 22 especially if you're not living at home it's not it's not sexy is it not at all so now i understand why you've not gone to his his mother's there yeah i mean maybe he's got younger siblings school night they've got to be up it's not fair yeah you want a magazine wine party so so do i fair enough in this economy so okay right Right.

38:02So it's not that much of an issue. But she was house-sitting that big house. It was perfect opportunity for him to come and spend the night. If it was my house, sorry, you're not inviting boys around to have sex with in my home. No, never. But absolutely understand that's something fun. But I would probably do if I was you, Sarah. So she's saying my mother has already cock-blocked me once. Calling him right as I was climaxing. What? Oh my God. Up to the briar. No. Dinner. Dinner, spaghetti and meatballs. Oh my God, that's awful. Oh, Sarah. That's traumatizing, I feel. That's horror. So I thought, here we go.

38:44His mother is going to be one of those overprotective boy mums. Oh, his mom has already caught blocked. Think that is. Oh. It was his mom. Right, and it's like, leave your 22-year-old son to get up to whatever he's... You know what he's getting up to up here. You know, he's 22. He's horny. he's got a full set of pubes yeah he's not he's got a girl around and i'm gonna leave them to it set of tips mom right what do you think i'm here for i'm here for a good time okay we'll be down for our spaghetti in a sec yeah yeah so it's just like just leave us alone anyway right okay so you're getting concerned of the mother right however when he came over and told me it was nothing like this go on what is it my friends and i could have never predicted the true reason i've just read the reason i've just read it i didn't mean to but i wanted us to guess for a second what do you think it is he can't do nights you can't do nights why you're scared of the dark no good one does he work night something like that no is he a werewolf good one but no he can't I mean it's understandable I feel is he a ghost hunter is he has he got a clock in oh it's like it's like aw what do you want to know yeah well it's not aw it's not aw for Sarah what he has been wetting the bed that's not and it's an issue that's Frank but his mum's like oh my poor baby you're wetting the beds Sarah Sarah.

40:22It's a medical emergency. Medical emergency. Does he know about adult nappies? Because they do exist. Yeah, they do. We've seen them in the shop. They do. We've worn them, they're comfy. Yeah. We wear period nappies. They have memories too. Honestly, props to him for being honest. I mean, fair. I'm surprised he just didn't make up some crazy excuses every time. Me too. They had to go home. Me too. Oh, he can't control his willy. Can't control willy. He can't control. He's 22. He can't control his bladder. Why? That's a medical emergency. Yeah. Isn't it? Yeah. Or his mum's not potty trained him like.

41:00Properly. Like obviously it's his mum's fault. It's a medical emergency. Oh. Oh dear. Like that is just. I don't really feel like having sex with you after you told me that. No, no, no. I respect the honesty. But I've got this big old house to myself tonight. And I wanted us to have. I know. God forbid if you get drunk. I wanted a sexy piss everywhere. He's a full grown man. They're going to be big wheeze as well. It's not going to be a dribble dribble. It's not like little blueberry wheeze. No, no, no. You're going to feel that on your leg. She said, honestly, props to him for being honest. However, I fear this has given me the ick.

41:37I can't believe I am 20 years old dating a boy who wets the bed. Yeah, it's unfortunate. Like it's not his fault, but like, come on. Oh, okay. He said Oh Sorry He says it hasn't really been an issue Since he was 12 But he still gets nervous When he sleeps in new places In case it happens He was a boy He would cry at sleepovers I think he's gonna be fine It's not happened for 8 years But if he sleeps About the first night in a hotel Really? Away for work Yeah Loud trips Yeah Little trips to Bali Hmm but he says it's not he says it has it's not happened since he was 12 no why is he still scared oh it has happened i appreciate how honest he was with me i do really like him but sleepovers are important to me as i feel like pillow talk and slow mornings are how you build a much deeper romantic connection they are sarah they are and they are fun what should i do unfortunately don't enjoy golden showers like m-l-m-l-m-a-f-e-o i'm also planning on moving to australia in a few months so i'm not really looking for anything too serious look we're gonna get ourselves there you can find someone who doesn't work the bed okay we've seen those boys on bondi beach and i think you're gonna have a lovely time okay you get yourself to park it on a lovely sunday morning cappuccino sit on that bench and just watch him go by it's great goodness me yeah if you go to that gym as well oh yeah that guy will show you a great time oh no not him we can't recommend that man he's very friendly what was his name oh grace what was his name it was like john or something joe who would say to random girls sarah hey her name's not sarah he was geordie wasn't he this is really strange man we went to this gym on bondi like you australian house beach house yeah we went to this gym called beach house gorgeous gym by the way yeah no air con in there though.

43:39No way. Kind of small. Kind of small, but cute right on the beach. And the guy who works on the desk. Did we speak about him before? Oh no, on the stage. And everyone's going for it. And everyone knew who he was. And he's like, he's like a beenog. He's Geordie, but he looks like this gorgeous Australian guy. His voice doesn't match his appearance. Anyway, he had definitely slept with every single girl in that gym. Every single girl in that gym. He knew, and he took Sophia to a private yoga classroom where he took you out onto the streets. Yeah. Sorry it wasn't just me and him No one won't He walked Sophia down the road He was like I'm doing Pilates I was like yes please Why didn't we do it?

44:15We just didn't I don't know you didn't want to come Yeah It feels like I'll do it Yeah up there It was hot Pilates It's where I live And dare I say It was the hardest class I've had We were on the step machine Grace And we were walking there The Pilates and us Every single girl Sarah He stopped and said hello to Yeah And I was like It looks like I've slept with you last night Yeah Yeah it did This is not appropriate It definitely did And every one girl's mum he knew he's like hey Sarah hey mom I like the dog and I was like do you actually know all these people's names like everyone on the street he loved his life but he was so friendly he loved his life I couldn't figure out if it was genuine friendliness yeah or if I was like oh my god you are just like you've been busy yeah I think it's been busy but it was also friendly but like he taught us a great pilates good good ankle weights hand weights yeah lovely wrist weights well listen to this i went to plant is sunday morning no one was there i had a one-to-one worst nightmare i was sat there it was literally like class starts at 10 30 it's 10 29 no one's here i was like fuck's sake like where is everyone she comes in you're gonna have a one-on-one i was like fuck's sake where is she was like these two girls are like fuck's sake so this intense one-on-one oh no it was a really good workout there but you know when you're just like i was like oh please like the last thing i need is a one-on-one but it was a it was it was nice actually she was really nice she's like we're gonna sculpt we're gonna shred let's go she's like we're shredding

45:53she's like what you so this is the personalized what you want to work on today i was like My ass. I was like, my ass. My glutes. And she's like, squeeze, squeeze, squeeze. And hold. And then at the end, she's like, you are so powerful. So strong. He's so strong. Super strong. Yeah, like, powerful. I was like, you should go back next week. Get these one-on-ones. I'm boiling. Okay, so. I think we could leave the bed wetting behind. I appreciate, you know, it's a medical issue. but you know if I was just dating someone and like it was very early days it's not I'm not looking for that because also this is now almost telling me she said a bit more but it's like what else is gonna crop up if this is the first thing like I fear there's gonna be other things yeah such as and yeah like if you don't want to sleep at my house then like that's a lot of quality time that we're gonna miss out on yeah are we never gonna be able to have sleepovers I mean can we sleep at your Like you're gonna piss on me Like where is the wee going It's going in the bed Yeah I mean I fear Yeah It's not It's not giving Ooh Sexy is it I remember when I went to bed once It's in my memory Really?

47:10Yeah I can't remember ever I've definitely done it Yeah I remember when I did it once Do you remember actively choosing to like release the wee Yeah I was lying in bed Old house Old old house Yeah yeah yeah yeah I was in these purple pajamas and um i remember i needed the wee and in my dream i was in my bedroom and i got up and i went to the toilet in my dream like my family house toilet sat on the toilet had a wee and then i woke up and i was like oh no i'm weeing and then i instead of going to the toilet i went to my mom's room mom well that's what you do

47:50like i'd be hysterical i don't think i cried i was just like i definitely would have cried that would have been very traumatizing for me and you know what else i used to go on a real tangent here my bed was next to a wall so i used to roll and bang my head in the wall so that it would make me cry so my mum would come in and sleep with me that's not normal i fear I used to go I used to roll and go bang have you done that recently I used to do it like bang are you doing okay is there anything else you want to tell me about um yeah and then I would be like ow well yeah because that's what you want you want sympathy and attention I want it yeah I was like oh I've hit my head and then I get what I wanted I was like yeah and then my dad came in once i was like i want my mom yeah i don't want you you big old giant why are you here i remember falling i remember in italy we used to stay at this house in tuscany and it had like hard concrete floors and the single beds were like this high falling out smacking your head on the on the concrete floor like we all did it we all falling out the bed why did we all fall out of our heads i know like you shouldn't be falling out your bed we all fell but you just got no spatial awareness i remember the feeling of falling no that's awful no that's awful yeah falling out your bed imagine as an adult falling out your bed in the middle of sleep i'd never go sleep again i would never sleep again why did we do that you just mustn't like you're just rolling yeah you just don't realize no no spatial awareness right i'll just finish what she's saying here oh yeah sorry we've gone really off track She said, I'm going to Australia in a few months, do I just leave it?

49:39Yeah, I think you should. I'm not looking for anything too serious anyway, just a bit of fun. He seems quite serious about me. So should I try and work through that? Oh yeah, because he just told you his deepest, darkest fucking secret. Yeah, and you've not run away. He's thinking, she's going to tell everyone. She's going to tell everyone. She's going to tell that podcast that she listens to. Oh God, look what you've done to her. This poor boy, this poor New Zealand boy. You'll never know. No, you won't be identified. Ignorance is bliss. Should I try and work through this? as I do enjoy his company.

50:06Yeah, until he pisses on you. Until he carries the potty round. Oh no, until he's like, look at this, I've got a nap here. Problem solved, I can sleep over tonight. And who I'm getting you for Christmas? Oh no. Do I just cut it off now? I also don't want him to think I'm only cutting him off because he's a bedwetter. You are though. You are, Sarah. And unfortunately, I think he needs to get to the bottom of this. Yeah, I think he needs to get this sorted. I think so. Also for his confidence. Absolutely. And just like for him just to help him as a person. Yeah. I'm glad he told you. That's really brave.

50:41Really brave. Really brave. Also, if I proceed, how do I convince him to stay the night? Should I get a waterproof match as protector? Sarah. Oh, I know, but Sarah, I don't want this for you, Sarah. Sarah, it's still on all your sheets. Yeah, it's going to fucking stink. You've then got to clean them. Dry clean them. An adult man's piss. Are you joking? I hope he's drinking water. Otherwise it's going to be dark orange. It's going to stain. Fanta. Like, no. No. Attached picks. Although we don't have any together yet. Also included a pick of my best friends. As well as they love the pod. And they wanted to be included.

51:22All right, girls. Love to see you both. Right. Let's see. All right. We've got... Oh, no. File's not loading. Retry. Retry. No. I've got him. he i mean he looks about 35 for one so if he looks 35 let's see so this is not a 20 year old boy poor boy he's really struggling so via this is a 35 year old man oh my god i was picturing fresh face tap your screen oh oh oh my god he's a he's a grown up i was picturing he's a 30 year old man that's passed his test yeah oh sarah no sarah we can't he see yeah like his friends don't know this his friends don't know this and they don't need to no of course not of course it was just something to share between lovers and on email you know i guess you've seen his willy you know yeah sorry these are loading load file load file look oh sarah we can't see your mates that's not a 20 year old boy that's mental he looks about he needs to get to the bottom of this sarah ravishing new zealand woman of course looking gorgeous love the hair oh sarah groovy she looks absolutely and then this is the girls oh girls you all look so happy wow look at that new zealand skyline jealous oh my god they're like they're at mud brick yeah yeah oh my god you guys you look gorgeous wow oh everyone's happy in new zealand i feel like you're loving what a beautiful place right here we go again we've got caught him dating the girl he told me not to worry about via a tiktok advert how does that happen are they models maybe maybe maybe they were like seen at a concert and it was an ad for like you know for the new zealand you know arena and they were there snogging you know love the pod thanks over the years listening to other people's dilemmas has helped me feel less alone in the car crash of dating in your 20s that's lovely but now it's time to offer up my own safe to say i am mortified i spent my evening crying over an advert for tesco's curry meal kits what's the link there oh so yeah maybe on these adverts for these tesco curry meal kits they've got real footage of real people enjoying them maybe they submitted their little um self-tape so for context me and my brian broke up around a year and a half ago and my best friend sent me a screenshot of his active hinge profile i'm sorry to lie oh wait that was why they were together yeah sorry he tried to lie and gaslight his way out of it of course since then he has made numerous attempts to win me back which has resulted in us engaging in on and off cycle of sleeping together and discussing getting back together terrible choice from me i know yeah so the latest installment of this happened in june where we started sleeping together again just casually however while he said he wanted casual his actions didn't really align and I began to fall again and brought up getting back together so you were falling from again you're getting attached again you know it's not feeling like we're just having sex yeah it's like you're doing a bit more than that he immediately told me he wasn't ready for anything serious was totally emotionally unavailable and gave me a 10 minute monologue of all the things he wanted to achieve and how it would take up all his time and he couldn't give any girl the time of day right now.

55:12I believe it when I see it. Please. But still it reiterated how perfect I was and it was all him and not me. We then agreed in the interest of me not getting hurt again to leave things until he felt in a better place. Fast forward one month, I was having a peaceful scroll through TikTok and came across a video of this girl I had met before at a fitness event. It was an advert for a meal prep kit, but over a get ready with me captioned, I cook for Mystery Boy. So it's her ad. It's not an actual advert on the TV. It's a content ad. It's an influencer. It's a TikTok ad. It's an influencer. Yeah. And she's sorry she's making food.

55:54For a Mystery Boy. Oh, this would knock me sick. This is a nightmare. Yeah, this is a living nightmare. I clicked on her profile to see there was another video of her going on a date with said boy. Oh. To my utter disbelief, I recognised the jacket in the video. Yeah, it's always the jacket. Yeah, I bought that jacket, you know. Suddenly, everything clicked into place. My intuition is always right. I had met her during the time I was sleeping with Brian, and she mentioned a run club I knew he went. two oh yeah they're all having sex at run club i jokingly asked if she knew him to which she replied no only for her friend to be like yes you did we met him the other week remember well her friend's not oh my god just dobbed her right in i know that evening brian invited me around to his and i briefly mentioned it saying how weird she would lie he immediately changed topic so it's all just get your running trainers on sarah you need to go to this run club get your garment oh god get moving i asked him if something was going on there and he replied firmly no oh god i feel the next time we met he ended things whoa falling in love with the runner he has also posted her discreetly on his insta story followed by a picture of the sunset of Greenwich with the song This is How You Fall In Love wait which is the location he asked me to be his girlfriend.

57:31Oh well he's just using all his old tricks isn't he? Fucking ouch he knows how to kick someone when they're down so girls my dilemma is do I just block them? Have you seen those people sabotaging the run clubs? No. Just joining in on their electric scooters like you need to do that get your roller skates on hey guys so my dilemma is you got any gels got a gel what's everyone's pace like so do i just block them both get over this and leave them to it do i confront him and let him know it's not okay to treat people like this to give myself some closure or do i mention it to her i don't want to come off as the jealous ex but this man is completely emotionally manipulative a compulsive liar and a cheater who left me with a hefty therapy bill but always manages to seem charming and caring and this whole situation has helped me finally accept that he is thank god so honestly just want to help another girl avoid three years of trauma i think you blocked them both this is them he looks what the new happy couple no this is her i think she looks beautiful i hope that's you zoom in on the evil man he looks evil i can see the charm though do you know what i mean i can see how he's he's been able to charm you but those eyes yeah right you block them both sarah he doesn't even deserve an ounce of of you to let him know how upset i don't want him to know that you're bothered or that you care because you don't because at the end of the day he's met this girl he's got a bit excited about he thought fucking hell let me take it to granite and we take and watch the sunset granite that's my old trick that worked before and it's not gonna last 100 because he's just got excited over someone he was in your bed two weeks ago and he's not a good guy he doesn't treat women well he's gonna treat her the same as treated you and and i think you just need to embody like we just said that like unbothered energy because he will be thinking about you every minute even though you will be seething and like seeing something like that you're like oh my fucking god are you joking like it's always gonna sting but I think the more unbothered you appear the better because it's like he'll affect me he'll be really I'm not bothered about what you're doing I don't miss you like tell yourself these things just to embody that like character and it will eventually start to feel true because when he doesn't hear from you and when you don't reach out he is going to he'll reach out to you he will the first time they have an argument or a disagreement he's gonna he's gonna be spiraling that you've not reached out he'll probably message you yeah and he doesn't even deserve a reply it won't even go through because he's going to be blocked yeah you have to block him but like he's not a good guy no you know he cheated on you because that will just stop you from stalking and also like i want him to notice that like you're blocked i don't care about yeah like goodbye go away yeah like i finally realized that you're a loser yeah like you i was under i had love goggles on for yeah a little short while yeah but finally you've dodged a bullet you absolutely have

1:00:53have you heard of this before what is it it's okay oh sarah here says oh wait i read it as completely different i read it as i like i keep my boyfriend's cum pants around the flat cum pants cum pants what's what's that pants with cum in them but she says i keep finding my boyfriend's cum pants around our flat help like he's wiped cum off of himself well with his no So it's in his pants. And just like toss them on the side. He must be, you know, ejaculating throughout the day. Or he's wanking in secret. Yeah. And leaving his pants there. And she keeps finding them. That's sloppy. I read it as that she was getting a kick out of like storing them and sniffing them.

1:01:47I was thinking, she was thinking, why is there fucking cum on the bed? Yeah, she is. What's going on there? She is. I thought she was like, I like the mirror. I'm framing them. Because she was like, yeah, right. Hi, girls. Have you seen that girl that told her boyfriend, she was like filming this video with her road like cleanser. Right. The milk. Yeah. She's like, I've just got to do this TikTok real quick. And he like is in her content. So he was like, okay, cool. So we're going to use the road glazing milk. And he's like, look at it in his hand. And he puts it on his face. and she's like so the active ingredients is whale sperm he's like what the fuck and he's like it's in my fucking mouth and he's like gagging but it does kind of look like whale sperm whale sperm right so maybe it's just rogue glazing milk true hi girls firstly this is a bit niche and weird but nevertheless wanted a little help and advice as to how to approach my boyfriend's secret habit Maybe he's storing them to sniff them Do you know what I mean?

1:02:53Well she says it's a secret I think the wanking is the secret Oh, oh Extra ejaculation To give a little context I've been with my Brian for four years And we've been living together for three He works shifts So he's often working overnight Or very early in the morning whereby we often don't end up going to bed at the same time. Ah. Uh-huh. It's making sense. In the last six months or so, when I go to tidy up... Oh, no. No, I don't want this for you. I find his pants hidden under his side of the bed. Ew. Put them in the fucking wash basket at least. Or often in the empty washing machine as a decoy.

1:03:48What does that mean? Wait, wait, wait, wait. Or often in the empty washing machine as a decoy. Okay. So he's hiding. So it's like, he's like, oh my God, I've got all these coming pants. Let me hide them. Let me hide them. Let me hide them. So he's doing something. And maybe he's putting one pair in the washing machine to be like, washing, you know, wash my undies. But then really there's like eight pairs stored away. He just has, maybe he gets through like three pairs in a day. God. And then he's just, take your pants off. Use a tissue. Well, no, I think it's just happening in his pants and he can't control it.

1:04:26What, you think he's just like, exploding in his pants? I'm thinking he's like, oh my God, it's only 11. You think he's like wetting his pants? Yeah. And he's like, let me change them. And then he's coming home, he's got like four pairs of like dirty pants. Oh my God. And he's too scared to say to Sarah, I'm getting through like so many pants. This is like wetting the bed all over again. But also like it's so simple. Like wash them yourself. Right. Wash them your fucking self. You've put them in the washing machine. Yeah. Get your fucking tablet. Pop it in there. Close the door. But you see that's how stupid boys are.

1:05:03Like he thinks you're not going to look under his side of the bed. Well, who do you think makes it? Oh, goodness. I stupidly picked one up thinking it was under his side of the bed by mistake. and notice the unmistakable crispy texture of his face. No, Sarah. You know what, he's better off? This is not okay. He's better off just binning them though. Just bin them and go to Primark. Yeah. But yeah, wash. But also like stop being so lazy. Take your pants off. But it's so weird. Do you want a faffle pack? Why are you cleaning up with your pants? Get some toilet roll like a normal person. Well, see, we're all thinking different things here.

1:05:47So you're saying he's taking them off and wanking with the boxers? I think he's wanking and then wiping with his pants. Get some tissue. And then just like shoving them away. No, see, I'm thinking... You're thinking he's like premature ejaculating. Yeah, and then he's like, having to... Oh, what am I going to do with these? Oh, I'm going to have to wash them. Yeah. You're a fucking idiot. I'm so confused. Wash them. So you've just found some crispy pants on his side of the bed. Initially, I thought this was a one-off. But I've noticed it more and more. Probably to the point where it's at least five times a week.

1:06:27I spot them hidden. That's every day? I spot them. It's every working day. Monday to Friday. Monday to Friday. And then he's like, I'll be on the weekends when he's not doing his night shifts. I spot them hidden around the flat where he's obviously been wanking whilst I've been out or asleep. Oh, okay. So he's just wanking in them. Okay. Ew.

1:06:51You thought he was just like spilling out. Sorry, men, I think made me sick. What do I do?

1:07:01That's even more lazy and disgusting then. I thought he was having a little bit of a mental issue. You're in bed wetting mode, that's why. But he's actually just wanking and leaving all this dirty mess around. That's so fucking gross. Yeah. I guess it's a normal thing for guys to do, but we recently have had some issues whereby I brought up the lack of sex. Yeah, because he's doing night shifts and early mornings, so you're not going to bed together. Lack of sex we have. And he said it was that he's not feeling his most confident and has a lack in sex drive, but he's still horny because he's wanking.

1:07:36Yeah. We're wanking at them. You just can't get hard again because you just wanked. Right. That's why. Which majorly contradicts the excessive wanking. Yeah. It's really rude, I think. I think it's really disrespectful. It is. I have also had to confront him about following OnlyFans girls on Instagram and liking half-naked pics. So it's like he's addicted to watching OnlyFans and wanking and not having sex with his girlfriend. That's what it sounds like. Yeah. And he's not even considering you in the fact that you're finding all this cum. You need to buy a few, get your vibrators out and leave them around the house.

1:08:16Yeah, used. Which I didn't feel too comfortable about and he did stop this and unfollow them. Oh, thanks. I'll pick up your pants then. Thank you. Like, oh, best boyfriend. Sounds like a loser. How do I go about this? Do I let it go or try to, yeah, say er. Your fucking cum is fucking everywhere. You're sminging. fucking stinks shit and cum hard I've just found these under the bed it's disgusting how fucking old are you was your mum finding these I just put them on his pillow dinner's ready what's for dinner tonight while I've ordered myself a Nando's what are you having not bad do I let it go or try to bring it up somehow maybe as a joke no you address it head down so it's fucking disgusting I think they make a big gesture 170 yeah I found 250 pairs of boxes what you need to do Sarah is stop washing his pants and stop picking so he physically runs out of underwear and goes oh babe we've got any washing go no I can't find any pants where are they I did mine this morning I'm washing my I'm not washing your fucking boxes no how old are you with all common that you're wanking over OnlyFans girls no Like that's disgusting.

1:09:40It's making me think that I'm not good enough for him in some way and kind of impacting my self-esteem. I have a gut feeling that maybe he's subscribed to an OnlyFans girl or messaging someone else. If that's your gut, Sarah, you've got to go dig it. Go with it. Maybe he's even addicted to porn. It sounds like he's got this compulsion every time you're out to have a wank. And then he's not even tidying up after himself. It's just kind of gross to find the evidence when he could have just made the effort with me. yeah thank you girls he's lazy he's disgusting and lazy i think you don't even make a joke it's not funny it's not funny i'm not laughing i've not been laughing like it's definitely not funny to you sarah and you say this is fucking disgusting i wasn't saying anything but i found over 70 pairs of pants the past couple of months and it's fucking disgusting how fucking old are you can't you just wash your own pants and also what are you doing like there's come all in them it's like it's disgusting come on like come on it's disgusting come off it i think you need to try and embarrass him um but in the way where it's like this is unacceptable but also maybe look at his phone first yeah i would just make a conscious effort also to just like i would stop like even though you don't want to live amongst that i would stop like picking him up and like He needs to see what he's doing.

1:11:06Yeah, I would let them pile. I know you don't want to because it's your home as well and it's not fair, but I would let them pile up or every time you find one, put it in a pile next to his bed or his whatever. Put it on his pillow. I think his pillow is a great idea. And just be like, do you see what I'm seeing? This is really disrespectful. Five pairs a day. I've said that we're not really having sex and now you're leaving all these pants for me to find. What am I supposed to think? And then maybe you say like I know you have a sex drive Because you're obviously wanking Yeah Exhibit A B C D Exhibit A Exhibit B Here's your Spiderman ones Covered in cum Here's your Batman ones Covered in cum Here's the ones for The night we first had sex Covered in cum Here's your Simpsons one Covered Here's your Spongebob ones Your Spongebob ones Covered in cum And just be like what is it what's going on like address it head on because he's like he thinks he's being so slick and he's just being disgusting but also I think I think you need to cut him loose because he's not even got any respect for you Sarah no that's what I mean it's so disrespectful to number one keep your guys' home sanctuary and lovely and clean he's always leaving it for you to find to clean up because he knows you're cleaning it up because he knows like oh they've gone from under the bed exactly right room for more yeah oh brilliant can keep doing that number two he's like he knows that he's wanking over like other things but then like lying to you about his sex drive having sex exactly so it's like double whammy he hasn't even got the respect to like try and rebuild your guys's sex life no he still wants to just he can't be bothered he'd rather he'd rather pay the 399 yeah for you know, Susan, Susan on OnlyFans.

1:13:02Susan's vagina on, yeah. Yeah. And he's not considering or taking care of his relationship at all. No. And it's really lazy. He's not nurturing it. He's not putting any effort in. Exactly. He's lazy, he's lazy, like as in not pulling his weight around the house and he's lazy in your relationship too. And that's, that's like, get out. Get out. I'd rather live in peace here without a boyfriend who is embarrassing me every single day. Like you're disgusting. I think you should really pull him up on it, Sarah. I think you can embarrass them a little bit as well and don't make a joke of it say you're fucking disgusting and you want me to have sex with I don't want to have sex with you you're joking you're disgusting Alicia Dixon taught us at 16 she did that these men if they're not pulling their weight we're going to cut them loose okay our star of the week this week we've got our lovely Anna writing in Anna and she's saying hey girls I would love to nominate Zach the star of the week Zach I've been with him for nearly six years.

1:13:57We got together when I was 14, he was 15. We currently do long distance as I'm at uni four hours from home. Wow. He loves coming down to visit and is always keen to join in on Girls' Night. Wow. He recently surprised me and took me to New York for my 21st birthday. It was the best trip ever. We spent our first day exploring the city, Leon's Bagels. And later he gave me his car to splash out in Sephora. Oh. We spent the evening on the Sunset Cruise. Oh. We should have done that. following some cocktails at a bar in Soho. Wow. He truly is the most thoughtful person I've ever met and always wants to do what's best for me.

1:14:32What a beautiful trip. This is Anna and Zach. Top of the rock. Top of the rock. At sunset. At the top of the rock at sunset. Thank you, Zach, for showing Anna a great time on her birthday. We love Zach. And being a lovely Brian. We love Zach. All right, guys. Thank you so much. Thank you so much for listening. Blueberry saying goodbye too. she's very excited blueberry if you would like to email in your dilemmas you can email them to hello hello at thegirlsbathroom.com follow us on Instagram TikTok on YouTube please thank you if you're in the group chat we'll see you on Monday if not we'll see you back here next Wednesday bye

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