Christmas Eve Special: She won’t let him spend Christmas with me!!

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1:03You know the drama It's never ending Don't let it get the best of you Maybe it's cold outside God, I'm freezing I don't know how about you, Miss Ginge It's getting cold in here You look like a munchkin Oh, thank you You look like your hair's been fried Yeah It looks like a chemical burn Doesn't it? It is a wig. It's cute though. It's really cute. We've been locked in the freezers of our jobs. He's just like, have you got a wig on? Excuse me. My hair's down to my tits. Thank you. Natural growth. Did you not know? We're on that growth journey. Exception free. So happy Christmas Eve, everyone. Oh my goodness.

1:44I can't believe it comes around so quick. We have dressed up as cold people. We're just cold. Yeah. We're channeling Who Vives. Caught in a Blizzard. Narnia. Yes. No, we are Narnia. We are Narnia people. We look like the Narnia witch. Gone through the wardrobe. Yes. We look like one of the people in the village in Narnia. We look like one of the people. We look like village number three. Yes. In Narnia. And Sophia's giving lunch, Kim. I'm also giving Elphaba. Elphaba's sex cardigan. You need to see the cardigan. As long as you're mine. Jonathan Bailey. Get it. But we're very comfortable. We are.

2:20We're very cozy. You know what we're doing? We're doing a... We're contradicting ourselves. because obviously we're freezing to death right now but we've got smoothies on the way it doesn't make sense that's crazy then they do say we should have had a cup of hot cocoa we should have had a cup with fake steam like Sabrina Carpenter was doing dry ice for espresso you know what would have been cute um no what was I gonna say I was gonna say well if you're actually freezing you don't they say like if you're actually too hot you should drink a warm drink yeah like a cup of tea on holiday yeah and it will actually regulate you yeah what would they say if you're freezing probably say to drink something room temp and it'll bring you back up you will avion ambiance ambiance oh ambiance yes we're on the fiji doll we drink fiji yes so so he's been converted to the audio water yeah well they're in my fridge now yeah so i'm taking them out mine aren't in the fridge unfortunately that's yeah it's really nice nice water isn't it real fresh i really want i really want one of those cold taps and hot taps yeah it does feel like you're sucking on like the mountain though doesn't it it does it feels like fresh yeah yeah we look like we've gone to get the water ourselves yeah we were saying if we walk the streets people would probably be quite concerned about us i wonder where we've been probably yeah it looks like we have just got back from the track from our atlantic atlantic arctic excursion there's actually a cruise you could do around the arctic that actually looks a bit nice does it uh-huh would we end up looking like this if we got if the cruise left us yeah well apparently but it's really rough the snow that we've got on today is what they use in the titanic yeah yeah get a load of that get a load of that jack well we well we look like we've just walked off a movie set i think we do i do too look at that it's fantastic it's a happy christmas eve i can't believe it's christmas eve we're all excited we're all cozy santa's coming santa's coming do you watch that um santa tracker oh i love santa tracker that made it feel so real that made it feel so good he's just over sweden right now he'll be here in like a couple hours we've got to get to bed really quick yeah everyone get tracking santa tonight oh blueberries first christmas as well first christmas making sure everyone's getting her presents you know she's She's also a member of the family.

4:41She needs to be recognised. Absolutely. So she deserves to open something. Well, I hope she's been enjoying her advent calendar. Oh, thank you, Sophia. She very much has. I've really been enjoying the cookie jar. Oh, you're welcome. You're welcome. Should we do our question of the week? Absolutely. Our Christmas question of the week. Absolutely. I am dying to look at them. You look like you're dying. I was trying to... We do look at the verge of death. A freezing cold in your window. Imagine actually being this cold. Be really horrible. Hell. Be really awful. Because me and Chintzy both share a memory of physical pain from the cold.

5:16No, truly. We've spoke on it before, no? I think we have. But I think that's... It was horror. You know, I remembered it the other day and I was like... You know who used to play Miss Ryder? And our mothers. Yeah, our mothers, definitely. What a silly mother you were... Sent us out to minus five degree temperature in France with only a windbreaker. Like a denim jacket and a windbreaker. My cardigan had holes in the sleeves. Yeah, like sent us into the Arctic without a coat. we went on a school trip to the caves well we went it was a french exchange was it a french exchange yeah it was a french exchange it was a trip to the caves and what what year of time of year was it it's got to be fucking january it was freezing yeah and we were in these caves all it was an excursion in the day and we had no coats we had no it was freezing it was like and we had like we had like body heat like pumps on trying to regulate my body and it was like our first experience of like physical pain from being freezing cold all day and then when they chucked us in that room for lunch and other people hugging the radiators and we were like you laugh at coats on i've had a measly cardigan and my friend has got a wind breaker i've got pumps on no boots no socks yeah yeah jeans like denim horror it was actually horror it was a vest it was actual horror what was i wearing i mean what i was wearing i was wearing a black zip up from zara that had like mesh panels yeah i remember that with black jeans and like a black shoe oh yeah what was i wearing those days probably a long cardigan probably a long cardigan that was the vibe like thin thin with just a t-shirt like a primark cardigan yeah top shop jeans it was those gray long cardigans that hit the floor i loved them yeah the gray long cardigans they were so good so cool why don't we get those from low key I'm channeling that today yeah probably top shop probably top shop it was probably a top shop purchase or new look I kind of want one again yeah I think I think cardigans are in like a long like a long alright well the question of the W is question of the week jingle bells obviously it's the time of year for secret santas of course I'm assuming we'll have maybe done a lot of secret santas this evening tonight on this very merry Christmas Eve can't believe we're working on a Christmas Eve by the way tonight night can you we're such hard workers working on christmas eve on christmas eve look at us look at home to the family the kids are waiting right we've got what's the most ridiculous thing you've gotten in a secret santa now secret santas it's look at the draw you know you put a lot of effort into yours but then depending on the people who were involved you could get something real shit real especially if it was like colleagues and there's men involved think i feel like a lot of people hide we got brian santa though and they swap them oh really to get really do people care that much especially if it was colleagues i was like oh like who have you got oh i'd rather have them i'd rather have them yeah but surely it'd be awkward like say we're in a big office and it was like all these different men and like what the hell do you get mark in accounting who's 46 well I just get them in a box of celebrations.

8:23Box of chocolates. Box of socks. Socks feels too personal. Sorry, take that back. I think socks is a bit too intimate for a colleague. Yeah. Box of chocolates. Box of chocolates. Box of chocolates. Are you drunk? Box of chocolates. I'm just so cold. Delirious. Box of chocolates and maybe what's something else appropriate?

8:43Bottle of wine? Yeah, bottle of red. Bottle of red? Yeah, bottle of red that you get in the cupboard. Bits of cheese? Right, well this is what some - Bit chutney? Yeah, bit chutney and cheese. Bit Johnson's crackers. Hamper's too nice. That's something you would get your nice female colleague. Lovely hamper. Like your bestie. Yeah. Right, well, someone has received a half-eaten chocolate bar. That's horror. Come on. Half a twist. Brian, you could have done better that. Sharing is caring. His mum's scarf that he had stolen from her wardrobe. Ugh! Not a scarf. A scarf is intimate. Her hair's on it.

9:15Like, that's been on her neck, her hair, on her chin. No, that's intimate. her pheromones you know what I mean that's actually intimate anal beads from my manager that's very Wayne from Pom Pom Coded that's a HR issue isn't that Wayne from Pom Pom Coded I fear it is yeah we knew far too much about his sex life I didn't even work there yeah it was awful actually wasn't good I was 18 didn't even know what sex was and he was telling yeah but he was telling me all this stuff that he was doing to his wife it was eye opening anyway yeah that was my first encounter with like oh my god men are disgusting i think grow your own boyfriend that's actually oh that's funny that's pretty iconic that's a good one but you could be offended though if it was the wrong circumstance yeah you could be offended like if someone got me one if you're freshly heartbroken i'd say fuck off yeah i'd be livid it'd send me we've got four bottles of lucozade i fear i would appreciate that lucozade sport i'd love that yeah me too some electrolytes yeah i love it i love the orange fizzy a box of toy dinosaurs Dinosaurs?

10:19Yeah, inappropriate. Niche. I don't play with dinosaurs. Must have been a private joke somewhere. A suction cup dildo from Sheen? Suction cup. Oh, you put it on the wall. And then you can go to town by yourself. Is that what that is? You stick it to the floor. Oh, to the floor. It couldn't be carpet. Or the wall, I guess, yeah. Couldn't be carpet. My mind went to a shower. On the wall of a shower. Yes, absolutely. Didn't know that existed. Because otherwise, what are you doing? Sticking it to the towels in the kitchen, like... It's not going to, is it? Well, it will. On the towels. I thought it was a towel.

10:56Yeah. Yeah, the sink. That would be tricky. Such a cup. Wow. The more you know. Wow. The car window. What's this? That's inappropriate, definitely. V-I-P-U. V-I-P-U. V-I-P-U. V-I-P-U. V-I-P-U. Very important person's poo. What is it? ah VIP poo air freshener essentially Sophia could do with some of that I imagine saw your skid marks in the toilet before we started recording absolutely you too I'll get you a bottle babe for your bowel movements oh I didn't know that was a thing yeah that's pretty good in your purse um chicken fillets for my bra from a girl at work kind of bitchy we've got a dick shaped candle that smell awful right you'll go i do like those candles it's like smells like a boy boy smells that is nice right continuing here what's the most ridiculous thing you've gotten a secret santa a used lipstick it's just like you forgot yeah what you got in your handbag A single bag of crisps out of a multi-pack.

12:08I mean, I take the snack to be fair. There's worse ones I've got. A bag of flour. Cardboard Spice Girl. That's kind of cool. That's cool. A one pound coin. Okay. Take it. Beverages have arrived. Woohoo. Just what we need. Oh, look at it. Hayley Bieber realness. Hayley Bieber. Eat your heart out. Right. Live taste test. I hope to be alive. I've only, I've had this a couple of times. I do like it. I'm struggling to get my straw in. There we go. Uh-oh. Oh, I'm very excited. For the audio listeners, we've had a pink smoothie arrive. It's not as sweet, but it's fresh.

12:58Nice.

13:01Yeah, wait, let me taste it again. Is it stale?

13:09Stir it, stir it, please.

13:14Tastes like cardboard, doesn't it? Tastes like something. Oh no, this is why you don't recommend your friends to get things, because look at her. So judgmental and nasty. What a bitch. At least appease me so you like it.

13:33No, I actually like it. It's just not tasting what I thought it was going to taste like. It's not as sweet as it should be. It tastes like the chocolate one from yesterday. My senses are really thrown off. You must have an old straw then. Because I don't know how it would taste like a chocolate one, babe. It's clearly a strawberry smoothie. Let me try it again. It just doesn't taste of much. You know, my taste buds aren't exploding. Like I thought they were going to be. No, I agree. It's not that sweet at all, is it? No. It's sweetness. it's just like a hint of strawberry yogurt yeah yeah onakin yogurt yeah it's is that right it just doesn't taste what it looks like yeah i agree no you're right but cheers merry christmas cheers merry christmas to you no honestly merry christmas to you no honestly to you no honestly no honestly no seriously right continuing on here what's the most ridiculous thing you've gotten in a secret santa listen to this someone at work got cat food and and a gimp mask what's a gimp mask sorry what's a gimp mask isn't it like those leather masks full leather oh a bondage mask kind of brillo pads what's brillo pads again you're right i just got like snow in my mouth so it smells in brillo pads yeah what is that i do know what that is washing up oh dairy milk daddy i'm vegan oh oh i'm sorry about that the animals have died for that pregnancy test that's not okay that's that's not okay so fucking cruel that is not although have you seen people gifting like the spark the the bejazzled pregnancy test no that's fun the bejeweled like clear blues what for just to have in case just to keep they they come saying pregnant arm with like all glitter so you could like gift it to someone like i'm pregnant i don't know they've got a pregnant sheep and got it to a pregnant person's urine and dip them all in that's a good thing because you can't make it so pregnant unless you're pregnant they must have to constantly have someone on etsy pregnant then knocking them up Etsy it's not Etsy that's definitely an Etsy purchase they're selling them on clear blue really yeah oh well then they've programmed it then I thought there was a girl sat on Etsy well they've got a lot of pregnant girls in the office I thought there was a girl sat on Etsy bejeuling the things and maybe for the nine months that she was pregnant she was able to piss on it and then do it and it's a nice pregnant activity I fear that is quite a nice pregnant activity good way to pass the time yeah should we dive in We're gonna dive in here.

16:23Ho, ho, ho. To be fair, Sophia's actually drunk more of her smoothie than I have. I'm not fussy. I like it. But that's not a compliment. I'm not fussy. Like, that's not going all year. But it is an all year. It's fine. You're acting like you've made this yourself. But it's pressure because I said I'm gonna get the pink one. She said, oh yeah, I'll do that too then. Didn't realise it would hit you so personal. She really was gagging for a sweet treat. I literally am drinking more than you right oh right yours won't be finished look at me you'll only drink half okay right let me get comfy also no blueberry today would have traumatised her could you imagine would have traumatised her she'd be ripping her hair out she'd be licking all the snow off us yeah she would she'd be choking on all this snow

17:17just before we get into it quick disclaimer just to say we are not doctors We are not professionals. We do not actually know what we are talking about. This is a light-hearted space. Okay. Don't take what we say literally because we could be wrong. Yeah. And if there's anything serious, if there's anything you feel like you're seriously struggling with, please contact a GP, a professional, because that is not us. We're just girls, girls and boys just like you, you know? We're just trying to get through life as well. We're not professionals. Enjoy the episode.

17:44Sarah here says she's got a real Christmas issue at hand. A Christmas conundrum, if you will. Conundrum is definitely the word. How do I spend Christmas with my online stalker slash copycat future sister-in-law help? And then she's put the Christmas tree emoji. That's quite the description. Yeah. Stalker online copycat. Yeah. Sister-in-law. Oh my God, you're not going to believe it. We've got one, two, three, four, five attachments. Oh my God. Maybe screenshots of four links to stuff down at the bottom. This is quite in-depth. We've got receipts here today. So I'm going to take a sip of my delicious smoothie.

18:27We're going to dive in. Hi, girls. Long time watcher listener here. I watch your OG Budapest vlog every few months. Oh, my God. Permission to come aboard, Captain. Sarah, we're going to delete that from the channel. All right. You can't be watching that. You must be vegan if you're enjoying that. Permission to set sail. She says it's a source of comfort for me. That's really sweet, Sarah. That was a really good trip. It was. That was our first and last time in Budapest. It was. And one side's Buddha and one side's pest. Absolutely. I bet there's someone out there who didn't know that. Yeah. And we did the river cruise.

19:04Educate them. All aboard. And that was also freezing. And we thought we were moving and we weren't. Oh, yeah. Did we? Yeah. Aw. Aw. Permission to set sail, Captain. Aw. Permission to climb aboard. She says, I need help protecting my peace this Christmas. Sorry, this might be a little long-winded, but here's a bit of a backstory. I've been with my boyfriend for four years. He's my best friend and we're now building a house together. Slay. Nice. Literally. With the Christmas puns. My future sister-in-law, let's call her Susan, is in a relationship with one of my boyfriend's siblings. Of course. Of course.

19:48That's how a sister-in-law works. Wait. Of course. Of course. Oh, no, yeah, but it's not Brian's sister. No. She's in a relationship with - But it will be a sister-in-law if you get hit. She's in a relationship with Brian's brother. Yeah. Or whatever. You're both dating a set of brothers. Yeah. Yeah. And they've been together for a long time too. Me too. They've been together for a long time too, so we've all known each other for a while now.

20:14Excuse me. we live in a fairly big country but it's one of those places where everyone knows everyone we're not in England in the country we could be in Budapest okay everyone knows everyone Susan and I are very different people it's clear if we weren't a part of the same family she would not be someone I'd like to associate myself with right right well you know what this could be say it how it is a drug user and a non-drug user okay right we're taking it we're taking it there on christmas eve sorry merry christmas merry christmas to all merry christmas to all happy holidays differences in interests yeah okay um not someone you'd like to associate with she said for reasons i can't divulge i think she's a felon drugs she does petty crime yeah but there's been issues in the past with her behavior but i'm not a confrontational person and i'm more than happy to get along with her but recently she's been making me feel uncomfortable dot dot dot dot dot dot she's been taking a little bit too much inspiration from my social media content online i have been posting on social media for at least five years it's only taken off in the last year congratulations let's give you a shout out what's your hat oh i guess you want to be anonymous we're anonymous sorry but we live in the description i changed tactics i started exploring and embracing my countryside life oh that's gorgeous because at the end of the day that is who i am at my core i now have a modest following and that allows me to think creatively and explore new places within my country love it it makes me very happy and i have a great relationship with social media Lovely.

22:07That sounds so nice. When I first met Susan, she didn't post on social media in a content creation kind of way. Just normally. Over time, she started posting with more intention, which didn't bother me at all. We all have a right to take up space on the internet. We had very different styles, so I didn't really take much notice. We also have very different hobbies and personalities. Yeah, we're posting about different shit. We're in different lanes. We can all post on Instagram. There's room for all. Absolutely. since things have picked up for me it's become obvious that her style has developed to match mine so she's almost seeing what's working influenced if you will she's seeing what's working on your side thinking well i need to tap into that tap into countryside life um again i'm not saying she can't have the same style but in the last six months she started copying my content exactly from copying a series i run the same title font voiceover style and locations to paying to stay in the same exact hotel rooms as me and wearing the same clothing to recreate my pictures down to the poses comparisons attached below oh my god I can't wait so this is her I'll say can we look and see the comparisons now yeah so she's linked me to Instagram I'm going straight to the source let's go so this is her countryside pick oh it's a real of of on a little staycation she went on oh my oh oh gorgeous content this is okay gorgeous and now let's see susan's susan's yeah yeah similar similar similar yeah same shot of themselves same shot also like you could have giving me a shout out yeah like i saw my sister-in-law yes at blah blah oh same dress code it was the same font i will give her that it was and the same location okay this is this is um set our sarah who's writing in i mean it's lovely content really aesthetic feed really lovely feed that really giving countryside glamour oh susan's not a fan of myself she's not following me but Sarah is that's good yeah okay I do see the similarities it's leaning into the countryside life yeah okay you know Olivia it's like a different colour scheme yeah it's getting a bit more darker and a bit moodier yeah so I can see the different personalities shining through me too okay okay okay it's great to get a visual Sarah okay so our Sarah did a hotel review and then Susan did a hotel review of the same hotel that we just watched no this is another link ah so we're linking to sarah's hotel review so lovely little oh yeah been there yeah yeah fucking hell okay and her hotel review yeah yeah yeah oh my god it's the same yeah oh my god it's the same yeah okay okay got there so when this first started happening i told myself that social media is essentially a lot of people taking inspiration from each other.

25:28True. It's the biggest form of flattery. You must remember that. It is. It is. It really is. At one point, I muted her on Instagram. That way, I couldn't see her content, so it couldn't frustrate me. But people had sent me her posts, confused about the comparisons. So I ended up seeing it all anyway. So I unmuted because it was pointless. When she started copying my online series exactly, I reached out. Go on. and explained that her series was too similar to mine. Fair? If she wanted to grow as a creator, she's probably better off thinking of a slightly different idea so her content could thrive too.

26:07Yeah, nice. I love it. Be direct. I love it. I was very hesitant to reach out, as in the past she hasn't taken criticism from other family members as well. But she responded pleasantly and understood where I was coming from. And I thought that would be that. Okay. messages from the conversation attached this is incredible bingo bingo this is our christmas gift this is truly merry christmas like this as well oh we have pictures from the hotel stay oh let's get it with the same poses sarah on the bed i'm locked in okay yeah lock it I've got snow in my mouth.

26:51Then, this is our Sarah as well. Note the PJs. I'm noting it all. This is our Susan. Kay, she's going for her aesthetic sock shot. It wasn't the replica I was expecting. No, me neither. And watch this. Is this the messages? Yeah, here's the messages. We did it over DM. Nice. Professional. I mean, I do understand that, you know, you can't own a location. You can't. You can't. You know? But I also understand your frustrations. Understand. Understand, yeah. So those were the, okay. Right, let's read on. Do you know what the thing about this, which is a shame? At the end of the day, we are dating two brothers.

27:32We could have gone here as a group. I could have helped you with your content. You could have helped me with mine. We could really make this work for each other. But also we could do these trips together and get content for each other. Yeah. And then grow together. As a unison. As a united front. Because you know. I can take your picks. You can take mine. We can switch it up. We can make it different. Because I could have started saying to you in the beginning, hey, hey, hey. Whoa, whoa, whoa. Whoa, whoa, whoa, missus. That's my white wall in Nottingham. Yeah, don't you dare get a picture here.

28:01This is my surroundings. This is my stomping ground. Get out of here, you blonde bitch. But then. I'm feeling a lot of anger from you today. I'm just cold. Back to the smoothies. I'm just cold. Yeah. You have still drunk more than me. Thank you. But then if we didn't do it together, we wouldn't have gone nowhere. We'd be nothing. Let's sing a wicked song. We have been changed for the better. Does she want to say the next line? Because I knew you. That was beautiful. That was special. This could be Elphaba Glinda moment, actually, enemies to lovers. literally but it's my kind of vibe understand you want to be my lover you're not my enemy okay yeah true unless unless right let's read on for sarah yeah this is important it's christmas yeah it's just a shame here that we couldn't combine forces yeah or like gone with the boys yeah take the boys i want to get some content you get some content the boys can get some cute content of us yeah you know like we could be helping each other because it is so much easier when you are you know creating some content to have a fellow content creator exactly to help absolutely so it's a shame that we can't join forces join forces she said it was fine for a while so you can't speak with this she sells seashells by the seashore she essentially changed the name of her series but that was about it it still very much mirrors my own but i got past it however recently it's gotten awkward again.

29:36A part of my series where I explore the county's best places to shop, eat and stay. I'd like to dive in on this series. I think I need to. Sophia sounds like she needs to. In a lovely little hotel in a cozy cabin style room. I reviewed it. Sorry. Do you need to swallow that? Frog in my throat. Sorry. It's a thick smoothie. It is thick. It's got seeds in it. That's it. I've not had seeds yet. I reviewed it and took some cozy Instapix. The content performed well. Good. Last week, she posted a reel reviewing the exact same hotel. It stayed in the exact same room. I think this is the content that we've just reviewed.

30:19And stayed in the exact same room. We did see it was the same room. We did see that. Stabbed the same clothes and recreated my photos to a point where they're pretty much identical. This isn't the only time this has happened. It makes me feel uncomfortable. And other people around me have highlighted the issue too. How quickly is she getting into the hotel? She's obviously, yeah. She's seeing the hotel. I'm going. I'm going. She's got some disposable income. But if we live there, it's not far, is it? Yeah, I know. But to just book a hotel, you know. Maybe Brian's got a bit of cash to spend. Yeah, true.

30:49Some people say I should feel flattered. Yes. Yeah. That's what we would say. Copying is the greatest form of flattery, like Sia said earlier. It doesn't make it any less annoying. Yeah. It means she admires what you're doing and she wants to do the same things. It means you're doing something good. yeah she's obviously watching the content and going wow i need to do that let's go that's really good i want to do that which is flattering some people say she's taking the piss so i know i'm not going crazy but i don't know what to do but i've already reached out before and that hasn't really worked when we see each other at family functions i feel awkward and we really struggle to talk one to one i want to have a good relationship with her she's gonna be auntie to your children um but i'm finding it hard sorry it has if this is also it's all right thank you if this had all also always been her style from the beginning then it would have bothered me but it feels like i put a lot of effort into find new places and to think of the content and she's just copying where it's just like one step behind yeah but that's the thing about copying someone they will always be one step behind.

31:56Exactly. Because you have to do it first for them to copy. You are the inspiration. You are the blueprint. You are the blueprint. Yeah. She's just saying it's annoying because it took me a lot of effort to think of the content and she's not having to think for herself. What do the boys think about this? Maybe they've not divulged the information to the bulls. The bulls? To the boys. Sorry. I guess the bulls. To the bulls. They must have. um your boyfriend's shooting the content for you yeah true i know my brother's copy does she's saying my life isn't there for you to cosplay online to benefit from my ideas i don't feel threatened by her as i've as i've let a lot slide i i think that if you don't feel threatened it's fine also there is space for everyone but i do understand that she's not having to think for herself and why you're angry at that yeah um as i've let a lot slide but boundaries feel like they're being crossed.

32:53As we come to Christmas, we are likely going to have to spend a lot of time together and I feel awkward. I'm aware this is a very parasocial third world problem to have. I also don't own the luxury countryside style, nor do I own the type of content I create. I would love to create content part-time so I feel a bit protective over my creative process and the progress I've made. Or is this just something to get used to when you build a small following? I genuinely don't think she realises or cares how awkward it is. Do I reach out again? Do I mute block to protect my peace? Or do I just get over it and ignore?

33:28Lots of love. I'm just a conflicted Sarah who wants love, peace and no awkwardness this Christmas. I'm just writing this as she's just copied my recent post. Oh no. Vera needs to go check this out. Oh no. Bear with me, caller. So this is our Sarah. Let's have a look at the most recent. Hold the line. what's the recent post really cute this is what susan's copied again i'm just gonna try and find the copied shot i mean really yeah really nice content sarah okay let's have a look going to susan ah i see it yeah it's the same location you spotted it on the feed must be similar then i've got it i've got it one second let me just reference it she's just gonna fact check it one more time just gonna cross jack absolutely take your time just to make sure good stuff she's got it yeah i got it yeah yeah okay i have really nice flat lace here sarah the queen is coming okay yeah oh i thought you were gonna share oh i've lost it now okay you're gonna go back role right yeah okay so your main thing is you're finding it awkward with this lady i think you've got to i think if this was sophia i know what you do this new girl and she was copying all of sophia's pics i say sophia i say number one you can't control it she's obviously very she's obviously enamored by you big word and really admires you and wants to be you and thinks everything you're posting is amazing and knows your location so she's thinking i must go they get a picture get the same amazing content i would i just think you need to write it as flattery i agree there's even though it doesn't change how annoying it is and everything is valid when you're like working hard to working hard to find new shoot locations to find new backdrops to find new content places like yeah you're thinking god how these would it be if i just had someone I could copy like yeah but she it is a form of flattery she is mimicking you you have to try and take it as a compliment it doesn't make it any less annoying but I think that's all you can really do or you try and do something that she can't copy like you need to go somewhere I guess you're saying where the location is because you're recommending it aren't you it's reviews of the area yeah but i also think because from you sarah it's coming from a place of passion and genuine and genuine like love for the content and like passion for social media you're gonna last long hog and also i think susan she'll drop off a long shot long hog whatever you're gonna survive long hog what does that mean for the long hog the long haul long long long haul long haul what's a hog a long log you're gonna you're in it for the long hog what yeah no but you're saying like sarah's got the genuine passion so i think she'll drop off that's honestly she will she's in it for the short she's gonna drop off i do think because she'll get bored she will get bored it's not her passion because she's just copying you and there'll be a day where she's like she will drop off because this is your passion you just got to keep going yeah don't let her stop you you've already mentioned it to her you can't even mention anymore and i think when you see her hey maybe compliment maybe let's talk about the content like can is there any realm where we can be mates like we're going out with brothers i know can we try and reconcile like it sounds like we're very different people i know it does but like could we give it a shot yeah i think over christmas christmas is the time you can help each other with content reconciliation and joy it is so you know take a picture of the tree should i send this to you because you're probably gonna post the same yeah like do you want me to there you go that's the spirit or just like would you like to take a picture of you in front of the tree i would also like a picture yeah the boys are busy why not hop in but then i guess it's and then you could say why don't we get a different angle ha ha ha so it's not the same like usual see how that goes down but I think it's flattery you're in it for the passion she will get bored she will drop off 100 % take it as a compliment yeah right Merry Christmas definitely Merry Christmas hey guys it's Paige from Giggly Squad okay can we all agree that hosting is so much fun and I really do love it every weekend it's come over for snacks let's make dinner together and somehow the second you put out a fruit platter, it seems that bugs show up before your friends do.

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39:55Right. I'm on a Christmas deadline and I don't know what to do. Time's ticking. Hi girls. I'm a fairly new listener. Welcome. It's always nice to know we're reaching new ways. It is, thank God. We're always surprised to know. Yeah. New listeners. Wow. Hello. Welcome. They were enamored by us. After you were recommended to me in my post-breakup era. Oh, that is really, really lovely. I'm really happy about that. Thank you for being here, Sarah. We hope you stick around. Me too. Since then, I've been listening every week. You asked for a Christmas dilemma. We sure did. And this is all I can think about.

40:31I was with my Brian for nearly six years. We got together when I was 18 and went through so much growth together in our early 20s. I, you know, went to uni, moved to London, moved back home, graduated, all within the six years we were together. Not to toot my own horn, but his family loved me. His mum would often introduce me as her daughter-in-law to friends and family, even though we were never engaged. Brian was funny, very switched on, money motivated, career driven which I found very attractive for a young guy in his 20s. I was also insanely attracted to him and still am. Oh yeah of course.

41:07Let's get the mistletoe out Zara. And we never lost that spark in the time we were together. The lust never stopped. It's like Fiero and Elphaba. Yeah absolutely. He was always alive. However there were ups and downs to our relationship and I often found myself feeling like something was missing or just unhappy in how he was treating me he wasn't that bad but I found myself going through a cycle of feeling unhappy trying to break up with him and then he would convince me to stay things would get better for a while but then eventually we just get go back to the same thing essentially I had this gut feeling that maybe he wasn't the one I would I would I won't go through everything that happened in the six years but he would barely ever compliment me you know not much effort into plan dates that sort of thing Last summer after I graduated I was getting ready to go traveling for a few months with a friend It was something I'd always wanted to do And my boyfriend was deep in his career at the time So couldn't take that much time off When it came to dropping me off at the airport He couldn't be bothered to see me off Even though he wouldn't see me for a few months Whilst away on my travels I decided to end our relationship over FaceTime Not great, I know And I still feel guilty about how it ended But I have to keep reminding myself that whenever I tried to break up with him previously in person, it would never happen.

42:27And also, like, he couldn't even be bothered to say goodbye to you when he dropped me off at the fucking airport. After hours of back and forth, I would give in and be convinced to stay. So I decided to break up with him whilst I was away because everything was building up and I couldn't stop thinking that the father of my kids wouldn't do these things to me. It's a good question to ask. We were no contact during the rest of my travels, but once I returned to the UK, we arranged to meet up to exchange belongings. This was last Christmas. And since then, we've started seeing each other again almost every weekend.

42:58So for nearly a year now. I've stayed at his house. He's stayed at mine. We've gone out for food to the cinema. We've been acting like we're dating. And the sex has been incredible. Electric, yeah. Fierro. I know that he wants to get back together, but I'm just not sure. He seems to have changed and worked on himself loads during our time of no contact. he's been going to the gym looking after himself a little bit more he's changed jobs he no longer does a lot of the things that caused issues in our relationship okay well that's good that shows improvement that shows change that shows growth i would hope it's genuine change and not just like i mean if he's been keeping this up for a year yeah that's a significant amount of time he's planned and booked date nights you know he's even fixed things in my mom's house we've decided to keep doing what we're doing until Christmas and by Christmas I need to decide whether to end this so we can both move on or to really give it another go.

43:58I think I'm worried that I'm looking for someone who is perfect and doesn't exist because Brian has so many amazing qualities and it's only a handful of things that made me feel unhappy so I don't know whether they are things I can look past but on the other hand I also don't think I should ignore my gut and the fact that previously the same feelings of unhappiness and wanting more kept coming back but did the no contact really change things or will he go back to his old ways because my fear is is that because he's trying to get you back yes he's doing all these things and proving to you that he's changed but once he's got you back is it just gonna slip back into no dates no compliments but then a year is a long time to keep that act up true but men would surprise us every day like you know i don't think i'm looking for perfect but i do think i'm looking for someone who's perfect for me that's a lovely that's a lovely thing way to say it sarah any advice we have a lot of love for each other and history and i'm worried that if i close the door for good for the better then i might come to regret it and he might be the one that got away or if i don't allow myself to move on and close this chapter then i might be missing out on I'm meeting someone who is everything that I'm looking for and more.

45:12Here's pictures. This is our beautiful Sarah. Oh, let's see. Gorgeous. Stunning. Oh, wow. Wow. Bombshell. Truly. This is the two of them. Oh, let's see. Zoom in. I mean, you're a sweet couple. I've got ice in my eyes. Oh, very nice. Really gorgeous. Okay. I mean, do you think... What's your gut instinct? I mean, you can look at it either way. You can look at it like, look, he's changed. It's been a year. It's been growth. He's still here. He's stuck around. He loves me. He's fighting for you. He's fighting for me. La, la, la. You can look at it like, I should give him one more shot. He has changed.

45:51I do love him. I don't want to lose him. Right? Or. He's planning dates now. He wasn't before. The things that were concerning me before aren't concerning me still. But you still have that like niggling like. You do. Is he right for me? Is this right? Should I do this? Like, I feel like you would be certain. No? No. I think you should be certain. As in like, if you wanted to be with him, like it would be like a certainty thing. Whereas the uncertainty around him is what's concerning me. I think I agree. You're not just going to be better off single. Find yourself pouring your own cup. Because I think you're sort of telling yourself, like if we decide to give it a go, you've been seeing him every weekend for a year.

46:31You've basically been dating him for the past year. It sounds like you're trying to convince yourself that he has changed and that it will be better. but it doesn't sound that you don't you're not convincing me that much no me neither you know what i mean that yeah it's gonna be everything you've dreamed of like it sounds like to me you're each other's comfort blankets because yeah you've been together since you were 18 is that right it's been six years but it sounds like you do need to go and try a few different pies get your finger in a few different pies yeah i think so because it doesn't sound like you almost need that comparison i think so i don't think you've had before and i think you need to You need to compare this boy to someone else.

47:09I agree. You need to date someone else for three months and just have the gift of comparison because it can be really telling and really, what's the word? Awakening. Yeah, it can really awaken you. Enlightening. Yes, exactly. There she goes. Yeah. Like I saw us today. Yeah, I think so. Yeah, I think if you were, if you get back with him, which I don't think like is a bad idea. Like if you want to get back with him, like go for it. But I think I want you to be 110 % sure before you officially get back with him that, you know, everything that I wasn't, that everything that made me unhappy before has now changed.

47:48The problems we had before, we're not going to have again because of X, Y, and Z. Yeah. Otherwise, I don't think there's any point in going back. Because if doubts start to arise again in February, you're going to want to ignore them because you're thinking, no, I've just got back with him. I've just been in a palaver for a year. But if you're doubting in February, in the new year, then you're not going to honour yourself, I think, and then cut it off again. I feel like, in my opinion, something is missing because your mind is thinking, is wondering about it. Like, is this it for me? like I think this is personally just the guy that yeah he's been your kind of like childhood love that's it your teenage like that consistent guy you can't think about any other guy in that way because you've never really known another guy in that way and I just think you do owe it to yourself to go out and see what's out there and see how you how compatible you are with other people I agree and I also think when you were with him you were trying to break up with him so many times I think that's got to say something yeah it has to you know it's not he didn't come and see you off at the airport.

48:55I know. And also like, he's not changed that much in which you're gonna, you know, feel so secure and 100%. Because I think if he had, you'd have got back with him already. Yeah. Like you kind of had a whole year. By summer, you probably would have been like, yes, I can see the change. Let's do it. It doesn't seem like that's enough. Do you know what I mean? Yeah. You've had a whole year to kind of like see him a little bit, think about it. And you're, in my eyes, you're still where you were a year ago. You're still confused. But I understand that it's nice to see him you're having nice weekends yeah and it's familiar having good times fun and you're having sex and it's nice the easier thing is probably just to stick it out well exactly but are you in another six months gonna have all these feelings again they're gonna be breaking up with him again when if you did it now in six months time you could be in a whole other realm yeah good think about it there's no right or wrong there but i think you owe it to yourself to not be with him for a bit me too i think that's the only way you're gonna really answer your own questions because then if he's still around he's still around and you were together for six years i don't think changes that love that you may have for each other but i do think you need to go and explore and find yourself away from him because he's kind of taken up this whole last year and also like all the convincing he's tried to do and all the change on himself like he's really he sounds like he's very convincing because he convinced you to stay with him a few times when you were together so i'm not sure if it's just bullshit that's my concerned with this guy.

50:21You know? Good luck. Or chance. Okay. Sophia's finished her smoothie as have I. Let the record show. For the record, I enjoyed it actually. Let the record show. I enjoyed it too. I could have, if we, there was a note where we could put more strawberry glaze syrup, then yeah. Prefer the chocolate one though. Yeah. Yeah, Loki, me too.

50:52our sarah here says it is christmas related i believe she says he expects me to leave the group but they're my sorry but they're my friends now too it's like a piece of but they're my friends now too we've got pictures attached we've got two pictures attached hi girls i'm really going to try and keep this short and concise but there is so much law so i need to include everything for you to understand i was in a relationship with brine for four years from 18 to 22 it was my first everything and i genuinely felt unbelievably lucky to experience it the way i did it was perfect a true deep love that everyone could see plans of marriage kids the lot.

51:40Honestly couldn't fault it. We met at school so knew the same people and once getting together I was added to his friendship group. It's a mix of girls and boys, lots of whom I was already friends with so I slotted in pretty easy. September last year things seemed different with Brian. He had a new friendship group with work and one girl in particular he seemed close with. our whole relationship was built on communication as i am someone who has no hesitation to bring things up if i'm feeling a certain way so i spoke about it and brought up how i had noticed changes in his behavior and had worries about this girl i got the classic she's just a friend and of course the slag in her off of course the classic yeah the classic that's the telltale sign it always is Now I know you're in love.

52:29Yeah. Yeah, you're really trying to convince me. I don't know if I actually believed him, but at the time I didn't want to believe otherwise. He then ended the relationship at the start of October because he was struggling, she's putting quotes, he was struggling mentally and needed to work on himself. This breakup ended with both of us crying in each other's arms, saying how much we love each other. Oh my God, that is so destroying. He even came to my house to sit with my parents and say goodbye because he loved my family so much, he said.

53:04Anyway, two weeks later, he's in bed with a girl he told me not to worry about. Oh my God. Sarah says, I've never felt pain like it. That next day, I took his clothes round to his house as I knew he clearly wasn't at home. And I sat crying with his mom, who also couldn't believe this was happening. Oh my God. So someone told you that they were... If my son ever acts in this way, I'm going to have to disown him, I think. Oh my God. Yeah, that's horror. Imagine we have like three boys and we've got girls coming to our house crying about what they've done. But also like we go grow so close to these girls, we make them dinner.

53:43Make them dinner. They eat our cookies. We buy them Christmas birthdays. Yeah, she's got a handbag or two. And then our son has just broken up with lovely Susan to go and shag Zara. and we're pissed. We're pissed. And we've got Sarah, Susan crying in our arms. We're pissed. So she said, That mum must adore you. No, that's, I know. She's got to be so pissed off for her kids. She'll never forget you. But he's just silly, silly boy. Silly boy. I made the mistake of keeping in contact with his sister. Being in their family for four years, I obviously became close with them. Yeah. So his sister was truly like a little sister to me.

54:21However, it kept me in the know, which probably wasn't helpful. She told me when he broke things off with this girl which of course I was thrilled about but I guess I didn't really need to know that. Yeah, this is ignorance is bliss kind of situation. This is stuff you do not need to know. We do not need a whiff of anything. I don't even care if he's gone and tried a new restaurant or anything. We don't need to know a single thing about his life. Exactly. This contact ended when two months later she posted a picture with her whole family and Brian's new girlfriend.

54:58yeah we also didn't need to know that no this is why i fear unfollow the whole family and all the friends you've got you have to because you have to send your goodbye messages yeah and you have to get out of there because look at us now we've seen the new girlfriend on the sister's instagram we didn't need to see that you didn't need to see that she's blonde too you know what i mean The mum looks happy. Yeah, everyone's smiling. He didn't need to see that. Arms are, you know? No. That was me once. There should be me. Me. Yeah. That is horror. It's not the Christmas spirit that we need. So this new girlfriend only happened to be a friend who we lived at uni with.

55:36Who I knew for three years of our relationship. Oh, that's killer. Oh, that's the betrayal. I'd rather it be a new, brand new girl. And of course, he slagged her off the whole time.

55:50seeing this picture knocked me sick and i had to remove the sister sadly yeah you're gonna do anyway that's it they'll be celebrating their one year anniversary soon how sweet but with a sick face sarah i understand how you feel after the breakup the friendship group slightly split between the girls and the boys as it was a very big breakup and everyone knew we wouldn't be wanting to see each other after that there hasn't been much contact as a full group not only because of this but also because of people moving away for jobs etc until last week one of the boys sent a message to the group chat it was saying about a group meetup at our local pub on christmas eve christmas yeah my god it's tonight shit it's tonight it's christmas eve oh my god i bet you've not ate a thing all day no everyone was of course up for it responding they can't wait including brian because christmas eve's always like it's a fun night tonight it is it's a good one it's a good night to go out tonight excitement a sense of the morning it's always a sign of adulthood it is christmas yeah a couple of drinks on christmas eve yeah going out yeah now i know for a fact that brian will assume that i will leave the group chat being as he brought me into it right okay coming full circle he's almost trying to i think he's almost trying to establish his dominance in the group chat these are my friends that i introduced can't wait lads and girls see you there can't wait yeah he's quite noisy in the chat he is because he's just he's trying to establish his presence i'm here he's trying to bully you out i think sarah you need to look so fucking good yeah i swear to god tonight 100 she's got it you need to know she's got it i know she's got it i know she's got it get your favorite outfit yeah she's got it in the bag i know you have body suit she's got it have a couple cocktails yeah yeah get your best perfume on yeah she's got it i know she is blow dry yeah get yeah let's just see blow dry little spray get your Dyson out we got it get a bit of body shimmer on a bit of body oil you are gonna choke when you see what you're missing out on yeah that's exactly how he's gonna feel I know this is true and we just need the most unbothered energy energy ever he's gonna cry that night he's gonna get drunk and cry you are gonna have to do confidence level 10 yeah 100 % fake it till you make it definitely I am having so much fun being single it's Christmas Eve I'm with my friends my ex-boyfriend is here yuck loser don't even care about that nob head that's the energy so happy best decision I ever made thank god yeah ew look at him yuck yuck look at that sloppy drunk you know ew you stink um however I am actually friends with them all not so much the boys anymore but of course I was for a long time I don't want to leave as I do class those girls as good friends and I did get along with all of the boys.

58:43However, what is the point of being in the group chat if I'm not going to get involved? So the dilemma is, do I go on Christmas Eve? I haven't seen Brian since the breakup last year other than occasionally driving past each other. Ooh, okay. I'm not sure how I feel about seeing him as I know the pain is still very much there. And I know I would never want to get back with Brian ever, but I don't think my feelings for him are fully gone. Yeah, and also it is rattling seeing an ex in any instance of any kind of any instance even if it will even if you've moved on like 10 times over it's rattling it's still gonna be weird and like oh that's really it shakes you what it does it throws you off it shakes yeah it shakes you up and also like it can ruin a night yeah it can especially when you're trying to have a good night you don't want to cry tonight don't want to think about it really no because your face is such trigger to me like

59:39um but i don't want to miss out on seeing everyone just because he's there and let's face it he will not expect me to show so you almost want to kind of make a stamp and you want that like i would run a little bit late so you can have your entrance yeah yeah yeah and they're like oh i don't think she's coming bombshell in the villa slow-mo walk into the club yeah let's get him asking the other guys is susan coming tonight like i want him on edge me too thinking is she show or not do you think susan's going to susan because you know he wants you to be there you know he wants you to show has he got a girlfriend yeah still but you know he does is she gonna be there i'm assuming not because she's not mentioned it i think we're home in the hometown for christmas and she's because she was at uni so she's probably lived somewhere else got you for christmas um he's not gonna expect me to show my best friend since childhood is also in this group and she thinks I have to go with her to show that I'm part of the group and that they are my friends too right sorry you've got your best friend there you go in there and it's you're absolutely fine I thought you were kind of walking into a situation where you get ready with your best friend yeah have some pre-drinks yeah Aperol's on deck Aperol's on tap I think so but we're not we're not arriving drunk we're very much aware sloppy yeah we're very much aware of our surroundings but we're not arriving you know drunk in mode we're gonna be we're gonna be just poised poised we're so poised and confident and sophisticated yeah and grown we're grown now oh that's so two years better yeah with you like two years ago yeah ew god thank god that was yeah i think you're going and you you make your mark and say i'm still here you you can't break it with me and then bully me out confidence yeah absolutely i'm just not sure if i'm ready to see him another worry is that what if he brings his girlfriend okay so we're not sure about that yet am i ready to see that yeah i mean yeah okay i think i want to make a power move yeah yeah i'm sure that i'm still allowed to be there with this group part of me feels so ready to put my big girl pants on and act so in phase yeah yeah let's do it i'm hyped let's go the thought part of me knows that that will be a big fat act yeah yeah you've got to fake it that's what it is we're always faking it any help will be greatly appreciated pictures attached of course of me and the childhood bestie i mentioned because i don't want to look through pictures of me and my ex i'm the brunette she's the blonde oh let's see you girls you're gonna rock it good luck yes girls gorgeous oh gorgeous girls sarah gorgeous stunning you look like kendall jenner right yeah listen i think she wants to get it power move but we're on edge and anyone would be on edge no one is going to be 100 about that decision but you want to you're going to do it you're gonna have to do it yeah 100 i think you either like i understand you're thinking should i just protect my peace should i just which i there's two sides to this which i also support very much so but one like one choice there's no right or wrong answer here i think sarah because i think going to this event this evening is not going to make or break your friendships within this these groups if these guys are really your friends they will understand Attending one night or not attending is not like the friendship isn't balancing on a one night attendance.

1:03:06You know, if these are your friends, they're going to be your friends regardless of if you go. So I wouldn't worry about that. I would also think about, do you want to protect your peace? It's Christmas Day tomorrow. I forgot about protecting our peace, if I'm honest. Do I want to wake up tomorrow feeling rattled and feeling like, oh my God, that was stressful? because also we're probably are signing ourselves up to have a cry yeah I think we're going to be crying tonight and that's you know so do we even if it's on the way home in the cab with our friend even when we get home we might be shedding a tear tonight I think we probably are so do we want to cry on Christmas Eve do we want to wake up on Christmas Day with all that kind of feeling fresh in our minds we don't or the other option is I understand completely you have every right I'm here too I have every right to be here too fuck you you know why should you stay why shouldn't I go and you feel like you have to stay at home why do I feel like I have to stay at home I get it and I can also completely support thinking no actually fuck you these are my mates too confidence level 10 I want to have fun tonight I want to go out tonight I want to go for drinks on Christmas Eve with my friends they're my friends I want to go I do think there is no right or wrong but I think really it just depends what kind of mood you are in on the day Because it is going to be tough to see your ex alone.

1:04:29Potentially with his girlfriend. It's going to be even tougher to see him laughing with his ex-girlfriend. They might be also piling on the PDA because you're there. Well, because also they're going to be putting on a front also. Yes. She might be putting on a bit of a front too. Because she knows who you are. She'll be very much aware. I think if you really want to go and make a power move and make a stance and make it known, I think we've got our bestie. and we say to her, look, we could be staying here 45 minutes tops, but I want to go, show face, put on a smile, do a lap of the room. Take a lap.

1:05:04Take a lap, look confident. We're both going to lie and say that we've got some guys to meet. Yeah, and we're going off to the next spot. We're popping in to say hi. We might try and catch up with you later, but we've got some people to meet. But really, I want to show face, be confident. Look good. Look good. Put on a smile, schmooze everyone, have a nice little laugh and then leave before the drinks start flowing too much and before it starts hitting me a bit too much and before I have to start looking at him too much because he's there in the corner. And I think an hour and then we'll move on to the next bar.

1:05:35And that was it. And then... And we can speak about it and dissect every single thing. Because he's going to feel rattled because you've shown up. You've looked amazing. You weren't crying. You weren't upset. Happy. Over it. You were wooing the room. You walked into the room, lit it up. crowd laser everyone was enamored by you I've said that like three times that's a great word and then you leave on a high note instead of leaving on like a Debbie Downer note like we've been crying or we've had an upset we've had an argument yeah because you want to go out with your bestie on Christmas Eve and I think you get on the same page just go the two of you yeah you message the girls you get your besties message the girls you know I'm out with Sarah if you guys want to come we'll be at this bar we don't want to go there because obviously Brian's going to be there understandable but we'll be there if after you want to pop along yeah you do have some options or you just think do you know what i don't need this shit on christmas eve like i don't actually i want to be happy i'm over it i think it's gonna set me back more than it's gonna push me forward and who cares like these are still your mates you'll see them at some point make some plans with just the girls maybe or just people individually but i understand that you you're she wants to make her mark politics and she doesn't want to let brian be like haha never gonna like she's never gonna step foot with my friends again yeah i get it i get it Get your bestie on side.

1:06:52I think do the one hour show and then leave. It's the best of both. I think so. You're in there. You're not getting too rattled. You've got your bestie. You're not too drunk. We're focused. We've got liquid courage. Yeah, we're confidence level 10. And we've done a lap with the room, showed face, had a nice time with people, but then we've left on a high note. Should we go to the toilet? Yeah. Yeah. Okay, let's breathe. And we've not let it upset us and, you know, ruin our night and we've moved on. And we feel good about it. But we've still made our mark on the room.

1:07:24right our last christmas conundrum mother-in-law won't let my brian spend christmas with my family i fear is this a taylor's all this time i don't know i don't know because isn't there going to be a time when you're a mother where you've got to let the bird fly the nest unfortunately i would say so i would say yes you know fly the nest to experience like if we have sons they're going to want to go to their girlfriend's houses for christmas i but i would like there to be like a half day situation or we might not live in the same we might not live in the same true true okay well let's read on yeah we're gonna have to yeah let's see what we've got here my chris i'd like to i mean an alternating years yeah if we don't live in the same place yeah alternate years yeah because you know if i have four boys i don't want to be left on my own also it's like it's boxing day like like we we like you come to mind for boxy day it's really is okay yeah like my christmas dilemma is something that has been going on for a number of years and caused a lot of stress for us both for some context we've been together for six years three years of which have been long distance last year i decided to quit my job and move from london to ireland to do with brian and he has a very good career here and we just wanted to be together this also meant leaving all my friends and family.

1:08:45Long distance, here we go. But it was worth it as it has made our relationship so much stronger. I actually love living here now and have a great network. Yeah. The issue is Christmas. Yeah, so wait a second. I've left my whole family. Yeah. And you won't let... So I think you hold the power here. We're here with you in Ireland all year round. We see you all the time. Every Sunday, we're going over for a rose. Brian can come to England for Christmas. It's his mum though that's the issue. Yeah, and we see you all the time. See you all the time, babes. He's not seen my family all year. He can come.

1:09:16The issue comes every Christmas when it comes to negotiating holiday season plans. My parents, grandparents, siblings and my nephew all live in England. But because it's such a short trip, I do get to see them every eight weeks or so. Oh, okay. But still, it's not like every weekend. In contrast, we see Brian's family multiple times a week. Right. Usually four or five times for dinner. Shit. Oh my God. His mum. five nights a week for dinners with the mother I know shit his mother's a traditional Irish mum very religious so always wants to have a big family Christmas which I am always invited to nice this year however since we spent Christmas in Ireland with his family last year I suggested we spend it with my family this year in England and fly back to celebrate New Year with his family yeah I mean this is a tale as old as time negotiating Christmas plans.

1:10:14This was met immediately with issues. From Brian? He said it was not possible as his mum would want him around for Christmas. This caused a big fight. How old are we? We've been together for six years, have we? Yeah. Yeah. This caused a big fight between us as I felt it was only fair to alternate. It's been nice for us both to spend Christmas together rather than separately and both get to see our families. Next time he saw his mum, oh my God, he brought it up and she started crying hysterically. Oh no. He brought out the waterworks. Oh no, because she like - Saying that he was a bad son for not wanting to spend Christmas with his family.

1:11:01Oh God. But also you can't. You just can't say that. Like you just can't say that. It's a right, like it, you know, She's a married woman. I'm sure she knows what's happening here. I know. Like, it's only fair. Like, everyone wants to be, I'm sure she wants you there. It's lovely that she wants you there. But like, come on. Like, I have a family too that I want to, that want to see my boyfriend. My mum loves my boyfriend too and wants to see him on Christmas Day. Alternating years is only fair. We see you five nights a week. Isn't it, babe? For roast dinners. Back for New Year. I have a roast dinner with you every week.

1:11:36We can recreate it. Yeah. he is really close with his mum so immediately backed down and agreed to stay in Ireland well that was shit I've already seen a picture of Brian so I can picture him right now and the mother in the law this was of course very hurtful to me yeah this is concerning as we just bought a house together and we're planning on getting engaged soon but I can't help but think is this going to be the case every year I mean imagine when you have kids well yeah you can't take my grandkids away from me on Christmas day sorry no we have to alternate that is the only fair thing I have a family too.

1:12:08Like I have a family too. I can't help think it's going to be the case every year where she will try and punish him for not spending Christmas with her and like guilt trip. Does she have other sons? It says big Irish family, she said. Oh yeah. This isn't the first time he's been guilt tripped and spending religious holidays like Easter at home rather than going on trips with me to England or abroad. And every time it causes a fight as it doesn't feel like he's prioritizing the fact that I want us to spend time with my family too. All the stress every year definitely casts a shadow over the season.

1:12:39Most years we end up in different countries opening our presents over FaceTime. Okay. But last year you stayed in Ireland. Because she moved there. Of course. And we move in together now. But usually we just do it long distance. I hope that makes sense and hopefully you have some words of wisdom to help with this tricky situation at Christmas. Am I being unreasonable by wanting him to stand up to his mum? Lovely pictures attached. Can I get a refreshed memory of the pics? I mean, this is the gorgeous couple. It's a beautiful picture. I mean, it's stunning. It's really gorge.

1:13:14I think this is our boyfriend of six years. We're going to get engaged to this guy. We just bought a house. Yeah. Surely we can say, I'm sorry. I spent Christmas last year with your family. I sacrificed a Christmas with my family last year to spend it with your family. It was lovely. it only is fair if you then come to England this year and I'll be back with you next year I know and you say to your mother it's the only solution we'll be back on the 27th and we'll have see you then and I'll see you on happy new January 1st we'll have a big family dinner and that's that I do think it's really selfish from his mum like and she knows the tears will get to Brian like she's not stupid like we see you five nights a week and also we basically live with you I'm saying every Sunday she's making a roast dinner yeah we're basically christmas we're having christmas dinner every sunday we i can go to england with brian one for one week i would be really pissed off at brian for being like oh guess we're gonna have to stay here then oh mommy of course yeah i would be really pissed off at him like yeah granted your mom's gonna be upset of course your mom would rather us stay here of course this is where i need you to step up because you know if we're gonna get married we're gonna be our own family you know we've got this family this family yeah Now, this is our family now.

1:14:33So like you need to stand up for our family and tell your mum that actually we need to go and do this this year. Because my parents are also part of our family and they're going to be the grandparents as well. It's not just one set of grandparents. And we don't see them very much. Exactly. God. Like please, you owe it to me for us to spend one Christmas with my family. It would make me so happy. He can't really argue it. He's just going to have to have his mum be upset. And she'll get over it. He's going to have to have a proper conversation with his mother. Because you can't argue with that. like compromise here we have two weeks of Christmas time where we can see all family we're gonna see everyone just let us get around everyone you know like we'll do New Year's Eve with you and New Year's Day yeah and we'll do our own Christmas Day like on the lead up Brian's gonna have to go back to his mum I think so that's the only solution I fear because you don't want to spend it separate no I know and also that's not fair because I we were with your parents last year yeah it's only fair that we now start alternating and that's it and you blink and a year comes around and it's Christmas again like we're going to have many many Christmases and if anything it's quite nice because then you get the feeling of like two Christmases because you get to go and have it with your family and then you get to do it all again and do all your presents with their family exactly she just you know that mother just being a little selfish yeah and I fear maybe it's her only son and everyone there's other girls and she's you know because some mothers have a sweet spot for their sons and all that you know yeah she's going to be surely she's not going to be on her own though she would have flagged that no she sounds like She's got a big Irish family.

1:16:00She's all right. She's fine. We can FaceTime on the day. FaceTime feels like you're there. Yeah. Anyway, Merry Christmas. It's going to go to you, Sarah. Yeah, I fear that's the only option. We've got one day to figure it out. It's New Year's Eve. Good luck. Christmas Eve. Happy travels. Yeah, happy travels tonight. I hope you're in London tonight. Me too. Right. All right, guys. Well, thank you so much for listening. Merry Christmas. Big fat Merry Christmas. I can't believe it's Christmas Eve. I know. Can't believe it. We got here so quick. We were elves last year, were we? We were. and now we're cold people and it's just great we're narnier people I guess we're narnier people that's how we'll define ourselves well we'll see you well we love you very much have a lovely Christmas we'll see you next week yep is it new year yet?

1:16:43no it'll be coming up but almost almost we'll be here guys we ain't clocking off look we're working on Christmas Eve you know so if you want to email your dilemmas please do to hello at thegirlsbathroom.com yes and follow us on Instagram TikTok and YouTube please at thegirlsbathroom Love you. Merry Chrysler. Bye.

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