Girl Talk: His mum is obsessed with our sex life?

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1:54well welcome in take a seat put your christmas jumpers on today oh we were supposed to wear our christmas well i'm wearing it one i thought we're wearing tgb i know we forgot that's so annoying because i literally saw it in my wardrobe yesterday and i thought all right let me remember that well i put my brown leggings on what does that mean and then like so i was like oh you know it's not really pink i think brown goes with pink yeah it goes well with pink pink as well yeah but then i saw this i thought absolutely yeah i mean you're very in the spirit and it's a bit itchy i think i need some more chris i got this last year did you yeah just hanging up you know that's the beauty of a wardrobe absolutely treasures trinket treasures yes because I remember wearing this last year with my red hair do you remember wow no it looks brand new to me you've looked after it well I do look after my things thank you always always well let's welcome yeah welcome in guys happy Wednesday we're in our cozy Christmas blanket you know what this has been my dream to have a blanket a blanket's really nice isn't it a blanket my legs are up in my favorite position yeah me too like I actually slept with my blanket on top of my duvet last night.

3:07Wow, were you that cold? Yeah, well, it's because Brian's not here. I can do what I want. Of course, of course. You know, because usually he's too hot to have the blanket and the duvet. Oh, I see. But I thought, I'm going to treat myself. Wow. I'm going to keep this blanket on tonight. Yeah, absolutely. Although it backfired this morning because I got out of the shower. So this morning, right, I have a, like many people, I really don't like spiders. You're quite brave with spiders. I'm absolutely fine with spiders. So strong and powerful. Yeah. I really am like petrified. Like a rat is what would like scare me.

3:39A rat or a snake. Yeah, but a spider. But a spider is fine. So it was a few days ago. And before he left, he was like, I've just seen the biggest spider downstairs. And I was like, okay, well, did you dispose of it? Yeah. No, he lost it apparently. Oh, right. Lost it. Couldn't keep track of it. And I kind of forgot about it. And I was like, right, I'm not going to think about that because I'm just going to think that it's taken itself outside and it's gone down the drain and it's disappeared. got out the shower today downstairs and I was just with my towel blah blah blah blah and then I turned around and like literally stepped and it was it's the biggest spider on the floor oh literally sent shivers through me and I screamed and I was so close to touching it that it really scared me and then I tried to like put something on it and it scuttled away so now it's in there and it's really stressing me out oh no I would have been quite powerful in that moment what was i supposed to do well i ended i know now you've gone for a week i'm left with this downstairs yes i'm good i'm not gonna have to go down there i'm gonna have to not it might have gone out the way it came in keep the maybe open the door for a little bit i fear that's how it came in though yeah but it might also want to return to nature you know because it's not surviving is it not going to go down the drain instead what is that what they do i don't know They climb down.

4:59Incy wincy. Is that what they do? Don't they come out the shower drains? Is that, oh, is it? I don't know. I don't know. I thought that, I don't know. They don't really climb up stairs though, do they? No, no. It's not going to like, get to me. They can't fly. They ain't got wings. No. He's not going to climb up the stairs. He wants to nozzle and he wants to sniff. Yeah, okay. For food and blood. Oh my gosh. Yeah, human blood. Well, I had an animal kill itself in my bathroom. What? Yeah. there was this fly this big i mean kill itself well i think it yeah it was this big and it was buzzing around the bathroom i was like oh my god get out get out get out couldn't get it out it was like the biggest fly and then in the morning i couldn't get it then in the morning it killed itself in my retainer um solution and it was floating in my retainer solution oh no i know luckily i had my retainers in thank god but i was quite horrified by the sight it was floating at the star because I was like what's that black thing in my retainer solution it was the big fly fortunately it went to its death must have thought it was the ocean must have thought it was the way out yeah I'll rest in peace rest in peace to our new household pets that we've gained this week it was annoying at least you've got blueberry like if I had a blueberry if I had a dog I would send it to the spider and like yeah there you go deal with that that's I did try and get her to get this fly but she's not that advanced she's not that agile she can't jump into the sky she was like watching it though i bet she was she was like yeah she was she was aware because it came around the bed at bedtime and she was like oh and then i was like trying to catch it she was like sniffing and she'd go up and down like she was trying to like help i need one of those in my life oh right well merry christmas everyone absolutely we're still in our christmas spirit absolutely always enjoy the decorations everyone if you're watching visually if it's audio just here for a good time um right so our question of the week this week is what's the most random thing you've used as a substitute for something else oh this is interesting which is me this morning i used a bottle of tequila to try and squash the spider but then it had a dome lid so i lifted it and it was still there.

7:17Oh, that wouldn't work. And then I lost my cool and I just had to run. Yeah, that wouldn't work. A thong to tie hair. Oh, always. Yeah, that's a good idea. Yes, yes. As a headband. Hair as floss. Yes, I just said that. Yeah, always. I've never done that. Yes, yes. I use my hair to like dry my eyes. Yeah, you do. Always, yeah. Always have done, always will. Have you got no floss? It's literally the same consistency. That's so true. I've never thought about that. But it does snap easier. then get stuck in your tooth maybe. One time I bought this compostable eco-friendly floss. Oh dear. Don't ever, like you think you're doing something good and then it went into floss and then it snapped and got lodged in my tooth like right in the gap.

7:59Couldn't get it out. Like it was a nightmare. So we need the water floss. Yes. True. Carrot for a dildo. Oh Sarah. Sarah. Oh Sarah. Let's stick to them in the hummus, you know? I know. Toilet roll instead of a pad. Yeah, we've all been there. Oh yeah, always, yeah. Tampons instead of hair rollers. Oh yeah, cute. Tight curl. Yeah, you could probably sleep in them as well. Earring post as a toothpick. Yeah, if you need, I guess, yeah. A toothbrush as a spoolie. Yeah, always. A toothbrush as a spoolie. Oh yeah, absolutely. Cocoa powder as eyeshadow. Very festive. Oh, yes. Glove as a sock. glove oh glove okay if your feet are cold though you know and a sock to use as toilet paper okay desperate times yeah as long as it's going in the wash yeah absolutely yeah absolutely if you're desperate yeah absolutely oh socks to take off makeup i mean yeah socks to take off what almost like as a towel clean skin club towelette the classic well i've sometimes if i run out of loo roll in the toilet clean skin club clean skin but then it's such a waste of a clean skin club you know you need to get the smaller ones i do flower instead of dry shampoo oh okay oh cucumbers as a cucumber as a rolling pin yeah makes sense wine bottle is a rolling pin always yeah my boyfriend once ran out of lube so use lynx africa instead isn't that a deodorant isn't that a spray anti-perspirant how's that that will burn having the same effect that would burn that's gonna dry you right out surely curling tongue as a dildo mark hill i mean they are slippery they are they are silky fork as a hairbrush as a real very ariel use an iron to toast my toasty fair fair an iron to toast toast a toasty i've used a straightener to like iron clothes yeah yeah yeah common and i guess you could iron your hair with an iron with an iron if it was long enough and you got in the right flat iron i use my phone to spread butter at leeds fest nice desperate times cause desperate measures you know i understand i mean fingers probably would have been better it worked a bit better and then finally we've got toothbrush as a vibrator interesting well yeah if it's the electric oh an electric toothbrush yes it's the same vibration yeah same currents absolutely right let's dive in we've actually got some really good dilemmas today new and exciting come on there do my where are we going to begin

10:53just before we get into it quick disclaimer just to this we are not doctors we are not professionals we do not actually know what we are talking about this is a light-hearted space okay don't take what we say literally because we could be wrong yeah and if there's anything serious if there's anything you feel like you're seriously struggling with please contact a gp a professional because that is not us we're just girls girls and boys just like you we're just trying to get through life as well not professionals enjoy the episode

11:20right actually buckle up because this is it's a six paragrapher jesus christ dilemma it's an essay i think my auntie believes we all used to write essays on the reg like what the hell we used to write multiple essays a week like what i know what are we doing p.e. oh point evidence explained i mean some like lydia obviously loves that so some people must have really relished in that in essay writing yes and they'd be like oh i've got an essay due on friday what i know we're sat writing literature what were we doing homework diaries leaflets i remember once making a leaflet about pregnant women and what you were and weren't allowed to eat really that was my homework yeah where were we doing that biology making leaflets about pregnant women oh and like could you tell And they're allowed to eat and not?

12:13Not allowed to eat raw fish. Some cheese. Cured meats. Cured meats. Alcohol. Yeah. That's about it. Don't know. Right. So Sarah here says, I think my auntie believes I am going to try and steal her husband. Oh, gosh. So auntie is threatened by niece. Is this a case where auntie and niece are like freakishly the same age? Potentially. Well, okay. I just seen a little, I am 10 years younger than my auntie. So it's not that much. That's not that big. Yeah. So it's maybe 22 and 32. Well, yeah. It's not that big. No. Or 25 and 35. Right. Okay. Yeah. And if she's a young presenting auntie. Hello, ladies.

13:00Love the pod. I'm a long time listener, but a first time writer. Welcome in. As a self-employed. Absolutely. As a self-employed, work-from-home girly, you make my Wednesdays a little bit brighter. Oh, thank you. Thank you, Sarah. My dilemma is, I think my auntie believes I'm going to try and steal her husband. Are you? A bit of background. Yeah, are you? A bit of background. I am 10 years younger than my auntie. Susan and her longtime partner, Steve, who she has recently married. Steve has been in my life for well over a decade. However, we were never overly close. Susan and I were. Were. After their engagement, Steve made a conscious effort to integrate himself more in with those Susan loves, as they were soon to be his family too.

13:48Okay, so Steve was making more of an effort with the family. So Susan and Steve have been together for a decade. I believe so. Well, Steve's at least been in everyone's life for a decade. Okay. I thought this was lovely. As I'm now in my 20s, therefore I can hold a better conversation than I could, you know, at nine years old. I'm assuming that's when she met Steve. And it's nice to form a better relationship with someone who was due to become my family. Absolutely. Of course. This is where problems begun. Prior to this, Susan and I had been close, texting often. She was my comforter when times were tough and my cheerleader for every accomplishment.

14:23I was the same for her. At family gatherings, which happened often, I noticed that Susan had become slightly distant from me. My Brian Oh okay Yes I have a boyfriend Believe it or not Considering the title Of this dilemma Wow Said she was Maybe distant As she had entered A new chapter of her life Where she felt More adult than ever And the age gap Between us Had been apparent Okay She was quite clearly Stressed out With the wedding planning too I thought He may be right As she Maybe felt I was willed Apart from her Which is obviously okay However Sometimes we would still have a lovely time together chatting away like we had never been distant okay it's a distance she said oh look we just i just feel like we're we're not got much to connect on right now we're at different stages yes since i sometimes didn't really have anyone to chat with at these gatherings anymore other than my brian so she's literally having family gatherings i mean some every sunday there'll be a gathering of all sorts you know but she's not even chatting to us at the gather you can chat to me you're my auntie like yeah i don't understand that really no i don't but that's right okay so it's obviously more than we think uh so i only really have brian who i live with to talk to um and i see him all the time anyway so steve took it upon himself to strike up a conversation with me we'd never really had any one-on-one chats before so i was actually quite enjoying getting to see this side of him and getting to know him much better we were chatting about his and susan's up and coming wedding sharing a few laughs here and there you know this is when i overheard susan's sister helen saying you better watch your fiance with that girl please i've got a fucking boyfriend also he's my uncle oh he's my uncle like i'm gonna be his niece what are you talking about that girl i beg your pardon so who was this i'm your blood who said that then your auntie's sister susan's sister wait is your auntie still your auntie no it's still your auntie it's still your auntie yeah of course because it's it's all the siblings of course it is yeah so your other auntie said watch out for that girl for your niece what also i've got a boyfriend as well watch your fiance with that girl like no one fancies you Steve sorry I don't fancy my uncle who does we're just chatting we're getting to know each other he's about to be my uncle I've known him for 10 years that's really weird perspective from an auntie yeah like watch out Helen do you fancy your uncle this is a lot of projection it is Helen where's your uncle at mom's looking real nice well you must think I never let on that I had heard it Helen is a classic shit stirrer this is your auntie I'm gonna come to your family gatherings you guys are gonna have a great Christmas I can't wait I know so it was not out of character for Helen did you see Joe Jonas put on TikTok like please everyone go live at the family Christmas argument you need to go live on Christmas Day Sarah when this all kicks off so it was not out of character for her to make sly comments which she thinks are funny however she just implied that I would try and steal Susan's man.

17:49Clearly, I wasn't the only one questioning this. As Susan then took Steve away from our conversation a few moments later. Susan, please. Took him away? What, to the kitchen? What are you on about? Please. Well, she came and grabbed him, removed him. Let's go this way, babe. What? Ever since, there has been tension in the air between Susan and I. Any time I speak with Steve, who is still trying to integrate himself with the family. Susan takes him away or is keeping an eye on him the whole time. I'm aware of this happening and it makes me feel on edge as I'm not doing anything wrong. I'm quite simply having a friendly chat with technically my uncle.

18:30Brian has never thought anything of my chats with Steve as I asked him outright. So clearly Susan has taken Helen's comment on board. Do you think you've like had a bit of a glow up recently? I think you're looking womanly. to your womanhood and she's now kind of seeing you as a bit of a threat which is very strange because you're her niece it's clearly jealousy because she obviously sees you as a younger hotter version of her maybe and maybe she thinks that's how she looked when she was your age and she's just threatened thinking that a younger girl it's gonna steal her man but like the man's been around for 10 years what are you talking about the wedding came it was a gorgeous day I was a bridesmaid I'd been asked to be a bridesmaid before the distance but Susan left me to my own devices most of the time on the day of the wedding Steve spoke to me normally which started to make me panic as I knew Susan would be watching from somewhere which makes me so uneasy even though I'm doing nothing wrong although it's been become clear she's never discussed her problems with Steve as he still approaches me yeah right well she doesn't want to bring Steve's attention well that's embarrassing for her as well He said before to me that it's nice to speak to me.

19:41It's really made him feel a part of the family. This poor man is not allowed to speak to no one in the family. I know. I really appreciate speaking to you. Thanks for taking the time talking. No one else does. As you know, Susan appreciates his efforts to get to know everyone. It's been a few months since the wedding and I have heard almost nothing from Susan. Also, she's just over you. I've sent texts which she replies to in short or cuts off the convo quickly. she never instigates a convo and it's been radio silence on her end unless I contact her we've been at gatherings since and she blanks me even when I talk to her and it's quick to whisk Steve away before he gets a chance to talk to me maybe Steve's made a comment like wow she's looking good no you think?

20:26but like why is she they've just got married maybe she fancies someone in Steve's family so she's on high alert right I just think you must be looking really good your own recently i think you've like really stepped into your womanhood and you're looking more like yeah like a sexy young woman and less like girl-like and she's seen you in a different light that's my take well because some mothers and aunties and then like now she's weirdly threatened can be jealous of their daughters and nieces it is a thing you know there's a lot of mothers who are very jealous of their daughters it's not even like this man is new though no if this man was new it still wouldn't make sense but i i don't know but he's been around for 10 years i don't really understand i think she's seeing you in a new light because you're coming into your womanhood and like you're developing so she's worried that he's gonna see you in a new light i believe so because steve's obviously known you since nine since nine years old and she's thinking wow she's looking good she's like a grown woman now like not like looking you know young like she's a woman and she's scared that steve and then helen saying that just sent her over the edge I think maybe Helen is like putting weird ideas in in your mind yeah Helen's a hater yeah yeah definitely not getting a good Christmas present from me no well if any I don't think she well she's been ignoring me I feel like I'm starting to avoid Steve myself so there's just no awkwardness I truly think Susan believes Helen's comment and thinks I fancy Steve I think I wanted myself bad ideas in Susan's head because you and Susan were always you don't know What else Helen's been saying as well?

22:01Yeah, like, you know, Susan was kind of like your confidant growing up. So I think maybe Helen, yeah, Helen's on real hater mode and she's out to sabotage. She is a saboteur. She is. My brain is questioning when she takes Steve away from our conversations. Okay, so other people are noticing. Why does she just take Steve away? Yeah, weird. Is this her not trusting me to make a move on her husband? No, she doesn't trust her husband, I think. Because you're beautiful. and you're a grown woman now who can make her own decisions and i think she doesn't trust steve right and helen's just i don't know right because you don't god forbid what she's like in the outside world if she's questioning all her family members to that they're going to steal her husband how the hell does she think what does she think about his colleagues well yeah friends like god forbid what she is like with his mates and stuff yeah because if she is like thinking that their own her own family is out to get her man she must think he is like hot i wouldn't think you're the first woman that she's kind of iced out like this no and kept steve away does she have friends she can't i don't think she she wouldn't let steve chat chat to another attractive woman no you know unless she probably deems another woman more less less attractive than her she'll probably be okay with it you know like yes you can chat to her yeah yeah if she deems her less attractive than herself yeah but because she's probably thinking that you are a bit more attractive than her she feels threatened and she's just she's overthinking and she's even though you've done nothing to suggest that and they've been together for 10 years and they just got married right you know harry styles was in my dream last night oh my god like really vivid he was like with us stop i was there too and he was like we were doing and i remembered it in the night i was like oh my god like wow we were like just hanging out like having a nice time no genuinely i think we were like i think he was a friend of course he was maybe a potential lover of mine of course what about me

24:10but he was there it was very vivid and it was he was actually there maybe it's a sign that he's coming back makes me sad makes me really sad he's just having fun with zoe kravitz right now he'll come back you know the day we get a new harry styles album oh wow i think it's going to be a summer thing the summer we get harry styles album maybe hopefully june maybe yeah a couple is i don't know is he even back in the studio yet you can't rustle up an album in two weeks he was pictured leaving a studio could be early days going out of a studio but because the thing is once he comes back he's not then going to take another break like this is the break yeah so he deserves his break as well yeah take your time but it maybe it was but if you want to hang out with us just on the sly sarah just says i'm unsure how do i deal with this i hate the awkwardness of it all.

25:00La la la. Thanks, girls are confused. Intense Sarah attached to a picture of me and my Brian and I at their wedding and also a snap of myself and Steve having a chat at the wedding. I was hoping for that one. Oh, okay. I need to get a visual of you guys. He looks like your peer. Like Steve does. Yeah, like this is not uncle energy. Okay, okay. Because when I'm picturing uncle, like I'm picturing my uncles. right we've got gorgeous sarah you know oh gorgeous sarah look at that one shoulder absolutely it's actually a nicer bryceway that's really nice actually surprised you didn't sabotage yeah same we've got the this is brian and sarah really just gorge oh i love it okay so it's giving my uncle age wise your uncles wear kilts scottish yeah and they don't wear knit boxes do they look at weddings yeah i think it's personal choice but the tradition is no you don't really well lydia was on tiktok this morning get a load of this and obviously because her tiktok is um his history ah of course apparently there's been new evidence that hitler had a micro penis seriously and he he was underdeveloped like intesticular wise intesticular wise yeah like i actually like lydia was that discovered then um obviously uh you know history studying his you know anatomy and there was you know yeah that he was underdeveloped and he had a micropenis i'm not even making that up doesn't enrique iglesias have a micropenis enrique iglesias yeah how do you know that he said it i'm sure enrique iglesias oh we love enrique iglesias yeah i'm sure he has a micropenis where is enrique iglesias these days i don't sing in Enrique's song?

26:47He had that song with Nicole Scherzinger do you remember? I feel like I used to love Enrique Iglesias I feel like you did Enrique Iglesias Enrique he always had a song with Pitbull Pitbull I can be your hero baby I mean what a lovely name Enrique for a little baby boy Oh that was it Tonight I'm loving you you you you ludicrous I like it the way you move on the floor I like it yes come on and give me some more right and then Enrique Iglesias it's a gorgeous Enrique Iglesias I would like to be Mrs. Iglesias Mrs. Iglesias yeah it's a beautiful name and what's his song with Nicole Scherzinger I'm going to Google it Heartbeat I can feel your heartbeat she says to me I can feel your heartbeat I must have had his CDs you must well he would have been on like now Oh my God, he's had a new song in 2025.

27:46Oh. Well, yeah, he's performing. He just did a concert in November. Wow. Shout out Enrique Iglesias. I'm sure he has a micropenis. Really? Yeah, I'm sure he said it on like this morning. I'm sure I watched the interview. I might have got that. I must have got that really wrong. Well, let's, we'll have to fact check it someday. Yeah. Right. Well, this is the final piece of the puzzle. This is Uncle Steve with Sarah. Sarah chatting at the wedding. Husband and wife. No, no. This is our Sarah chatting to her uncle. Uncle and niece. So this is a, yeah. He's skewing. He doesn't give uncle, does he? He does not give uncle.

28:25He does look like her peer, right? Just tap it. Oh. It's giving peers big time. Yeah, it is. Let's see your boyfriend. So our theory is correct. Yes. I think. This is her boyfriend. I mean, your boyfriend is gorgeous. Your boyfriend's super handsome. Yeah.

28:44like that's it's giving it up look look i think you're a younger hotter version than her unfortunately and she's just threatened by you she's jealous and she's scared maybe one of steve's ex looks like you i don't know and she's triggered by your womanly you know looks these i think this is more about her than it is about you yes completely i think it's she doesn't trust Steve like that's what it is it's her own relationship problems all you can do is be friendly and smile that lovely smile smile and wave boys oh smile and wave and get a bit of Enrique Iglesias yes that will lift you spirits spirits I can't feel your heartbeat

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30:42Right We've got an interesting Family dynamic His mum Is making comments Yeah this is awful About our sex Yeah that's awful It's giving Phoebe and friends When she meets Mike's parents for the first time Oh, yeah. He can rattle a headboard like a sailor on leave. I love Mike. Oh, this is a hilarious one. So buckle in. It is. It's your life, Sarah. I've been seeing this guy for a month. Oh, God. Let's call him Brian. We are both 23. We both live at home and coincidentally have both just qualified as teachers. We met on Hinge. Great vibes from date one. what more could you want? You know, a man becoming a teacher is actually really lovely.

31:34Yeah. Because it shows that, you know, they love kids. I believe the children have a future. It's quite nurturing. Teach them well. Unless they're doing it with ulterior motives. Now, I knew you were going to say that. Why do you always have to take it dark? Well, it just came to... Just keep it light. We knew of a man. I know, our old maths teacher. Yeah. So it's very real. Yeah. And if it happened in our school... It's a very real possibility. But I bet this Brian, I hate to talk about him again, but I bet he's the Mr. McLeod of the school. 23-year-old teacher. Bet he teaches PE. I bet all the girls fancy him.

32:07Well done, Sarah. What a feeling. The weirdness started after I saw him for the second time. I went to his. He cooked me dinner and we ended up sleeping together. Best sex of my life. Really? Doctor. I mean, mister. Sir. Yeah. Doctor. Sorry. It's kind of dark to see me now. Anyway, he said him and his mum have a great relationship and they get on so well, which I thought, you know, great. Love that he's close to this family. So is he living at home? They both live at home. Where was the mother? Probably in the next room. Wow. Thinking that's my boy. I didn't quite realize how close. I'm just going to put all the things that stuck out to me in a list.

32:52God. Number one. I did read number one I apologize his mum asked him if we had sex when he said yes she high-fived him that's right there's a lot wrong there is this the morning after that first encounter I think so well she was obviously still there so it was either after or it was the next day that is horror number one he shouldn't the child parrot dynamics have really been skewed Right, why is she asking that? But then number two, he should say, oh, mom, we don't, I'm not telling you. Yeah. He's gone, yeah, mom, yeah. That's fucking weird. And she's gone, good one. She said she'd go out for dinner so we could have the house to ourselves.

33:37Oh, God. Insinuating that we'd have sex again. Please. He then tells me that when he had water in his... What? In what? He then tells me when he had water in his beard, his mum said to him, what's that in your beard? Why is it wet? He said, oh, I've just downed some water. She then said, oh, I was wondering if it was Sarah's wetness.

34:16mother please we can't be speaking like this in the home no but that is absurd why is her mind even going there i was wondering if it was sarah's wetness that and sarah you're right there sarah Sarah is there what are you doing she's overhearing everything oh okay no one more wait that's awful why is she doing that does she think she's being cool I think so yeah you guys want any snacks you guys want any snacks don't forget to use a condom yeah you guys need a condom have fun you guys don't have so much fun don't be having too much fun out there cats like it's weird she was out and we were his they have a ring doorbell so she can see when people come and go yeah we've been out for the day and i popped him for an hour or so and we ended up having sex of course after she no oh god no this is just not appropriate after she saw me leave on the doorbell my brian gets a text from his mom good shag question mark

35:29he said huh sofia she said well i saw sarah come and then leave not long after so i just presumed you had sex we could have made tacos we could have watched wicked like puzzle why iggy won sex alert it's fucking weird does she want to be having sex with brian that's what it sounds like I am so confused by this lady and why she feels the need to always bring up to her 23 year old son his sex life I am someone that doesn't really have boundaries and I will talk about sex with anyone but I think a mother and son is a bit strange I've explained to Brian that this is a bit strange especially because it's mother and son his reply is always yeah that's my mom she has no boundaries i've met her in passing saying hello and small talk but i haven't you know stayed for dinner or anything i'm worried when i do she's going to bring up sex or that she will start making comments in general the more time i spend with brian i just find this so bizarre that she is so interested in our sex life i think it's going to get more and more my question you've not even chatted to this woman and she's doing this she's talking about your wetness yeah that's if you want a cup of tea like we've not even had dinner at her table like she's gonna say so how is he?

36:45Ray Mattan. What's it like? How many sexual partners have you had? What's it like then of that? How does he compare to this? I've heard you once, you know, guys. Like, weird. Can I be in next time? Like, oh, I'm only joking. Like, she's weird. You guys want me to film it for you? Yeah, literally. Why don't we go under my shopping, Sarah? Why don't we go get Brian something nice? Like, my question is, what do I do about this? Run, I think. I think we get away from the family. How do I bring this up to Brian properly and explain that it's weird without offending him as he loves his mum so much? I have no problem with his mum.

37:24She isn't weird and controlling. She genuinely is just interested. But this for me is crossing a boundary. I would be uncomfortable. I also think it's weird that Brian told you that she texted her saying, nice shag. Well, like, because think for Brian, like this is so the norm. this won't be the first girlfriend that she's like yeah i think it's only gonna get more and more intense and weird from the moment and this is only the start this has only been a month i know you're only a month like it's only gonna get more and more it's like they have obviously a very very close relationship those two and they're more like friends than mom and son that's the dynamic that i'm observing because like this then this is happening so you're not my mate yeah quick nice shag that's and he doesn't need to tell you these questions either like the beard one that is so weird beard one's really weird what was the first one as well it was high five yeah did you guys have sex and a high five in front of you they're obviously just like they're they're mates aren't they but so if this is your boundary and this makes you feel uncomfortable that's your boundary and you're uncomfortable with it you can get out and i think it's that awkward stage of like you're both 23 you're both in your careers now but this you're still at home so like the mum's trying to be like oh well he's not a child like he's a teacher like he's a grown up like I don't need to parent him anymore but he's still under my roof like it is a it is that awkward time of like it's probably time to move out but we're not quite moved out yet it is weird I mean maybe things would be different if he did have his own place I think so because then she wouldn't be seeing you come and go yeah and she wouldn't know when you were there or not and then wouldn't be making those comments i guess like in the moment like have you guys just had sex like yeah and monitoring your guys's activity i think it could be solved when you move out i think if you if she seems like i don't know this is just an interesting i've never experienced this before i think but she doesn't sound cruel she doesn't sound nasty she just sounds like she's just inappropriate and it's weird and it's only going to get more and more because the more she's making these comments she's thinking it's normal and good and like oh i'm gonna ask a bit more but i think the problem here is that brian will be very used to this because this is his mum if there's all if they've always had this relationship like brian's not really realizing how like strange it is family then so maybe we just need to escape because i think it's going to get more and more and more and more i can see it now i don't care if it's the best sex you've ever had unless get you know i forgot about that let's just get him around to yours you know yeah maybe i think if you really like him then but just know that this is going to be an intense mother-son situation and she's going to be micromanaging maybe just say like oh like i don't speak to my parents about my sex life like how come you're so open just ask the question how come like what's that like and he might paint the picture a bit more comfortable brian like how does he feel yeah like that's so crazy to me she says those things yeah and you're only a month in like if you want to get out you can get out but maybe just ask a couple more questions yeah but that's unique but i think it's gonna get more and more and if it's making you uncomfortable now it's only gonna make it it's gonna be 10 times worse in six months time

40:51does my mom think moving in with my brian is a mistake let's read on my girls i can't actually believe I'm writing in. First time writer, long time listener. I never thought of all things this would be what I was having an internal crisis about, but here we are. So me and my Brian have been together for about a year and a half. I'm 25 and he's 29. Honestly, it's been such a lovely relationship. We barely ever argue. We're super supportive of each other. We've had some amazing holidays together. We've even just booked a two week trip around Southeast Asia in January. Two week holiday. Love it. January as well.

41:33That's such a nice time to get away. That is a treat. You're not missing out on anything. My Brian runs his own business and I've just finished vet school. Very cool. Wow. And started my first job three months ago. Congratulations. That's really nice. Which is over an hour's drive away. Okay. Life as a new grad vet is no joke. I can imagine. It's full on stressful and there have definitely been tears. I work one night a week and one weekend a month on top of my normal working week. So it's safe to say I've never, I'm never not tired. But Brian has been amazing. He often drives down to see me. And last week he even turned up with new pajamas and my favorite chocolate after a bad week.

42:16He's a good egg. He was there through all my final exams and has been my biggest cheerleader. We talk about the future and all the time, marriage, kids and getting a house together. And it all feels really natural and just exciting. My family are super close and have always been the best support system. If I had a bad day at uni, they'd literally drive five hours to get me, take me shopping, bring me home. My mum's very maternal. She worries a lot, but it's always from a good place. Here's where things get tricky. about three or four months ago it came out through a friend which she didn't help that me and brian had been talking about buying a house it's something i'd mentioned before but hearing it secondhand probably wasn't the best thing oh what so your mom found out you were thinking of buying a house through a third party right yeah i understand i understand i explained that we're hoping to start looking around easter 2026 once my probation at work is up mom says she doesn't she doesn't think it's the wrong choice.

43:20She just wished I could have waited a couple of years without financial constraints. To enjoy my wages and go on holidays without worrying about a mortgage straight away. That's a fair point. So are you still at home? She must be. Which I totally understand. She just wants me to have a bit of freedom after such a stressful few years. But then she also says we differ in opinions. And I can't help but feel like she's implying it is the wrong decision anyway oh okay so she you think sarah sarah here thinks her mom's saying look i just want you to relax i have to worry about bills right now put your feet up like after such a stressful year but she's maybe just saying that as an excuse because she thinks it's the wrong decision for you right okay she's implied that i don't understand all the costs but I have lived independently through five years of uni.

44:17Yeah, you're 25, right? Yeah. Yeah. Brian, on the other hand, feels really ready. He's worked so hard building up his own business and he says he wants something to show for himself, something tangible to prove all his efforts have been worth it. Yeah. He's not against traveling. We're actually planning New Zealand next year. Oh! That'd be cool. I'm so jealous. He very much wants to build something for our future. Aw. He's also mentioned - Sounds great. He does. He's also mentioned before that my parents rent their house and can't really make it their own, which to be fair, they can't do any renovating or decorating.

44:53And while I know he doesn't mean it badly, sometimes it makes me feel a bit uncomfortable because I love my parents and they've done so much for me. Okay, I talk to Brian about all of this all the time, but I don't want to keep bringing it up because I don't want him to feel like my family don't approve of him or that I have doubts because I really don't. Okay. I honestly do think he's the one. My parents even agree and say they love him and that he fits in so well. So I know it's not that they don't like him. I just feel stuck between wanting to take this next step with Brian and wanting to keep my mum happy.

45:29And now she's got me questioning a decision I felt totally sure about. I know she'll be excited once it all happens, but she's just making things feel more difficult as they should at the moment. Right. What do I do? Am I rushing into it? Or is this just a classic case of mum struggling to let go of her baby? Love you both. A very confused Sarah. Pick attached. Oh. Blonde and a brunette. Gorgeous couple. Gorgeous couple. Really gorgeous. You're giving Elsa. Yeah. Elsa and Ken. We've got them at a wedding. very blurry but lovely oh that's a lovely shot really lovely it is actually um like no no i don't think you're rushing into it like i get it like you're 25 he's 29 like you're so happy like you know but i would also maybe just think about moving in together first before buying a house together.

46:32That's a good point. Like that's what I would advise. I'd say just rent somewhere for a year. Like I know in the moment you think, no, I want to buy a house now. And if it's like a bit of a waste of money, cause we have a deposit, you know, why should we rent? Like I do understand all of that, but I do think, you know, it's been a year and a half and that obviously is like a long time. You're 25, like, you know what you want, but I would say rent for a year first, just to see before you commit to buying a place together. Because you still get all the fun of the movie. You're still living together.

47:08Getting the furniture. It's exciting. You know, we're leaving home. And also that whole year that you're renting, you're house hunting. You know, you are thinking about, oh, so, okay, so what area do we think? And let's go and view this at the weekend and let's go and do this. And like, I would just encourage you to just rent first or you move into his place or he I guess you live at home like you go and move into his if he has his own place already just just to make sure just to make sure the last thing we need is you guys living together for the first time in a house that you've bought yes all of your money in yeah all of your savings you know brian you've combined finances yeah that's all combined you know you've stretch yourself financially because there is a lot of costs and it is expensive and then we figure out in six months time oh like yeah I'm not enjoying myself living here with you yeah I think it's best just like I'm sure you will move in and go from strength to strength but I do like it like you you may have lived with boys before but like it's so or partners before but it you know it is very different going from you know maybe going to someone's house for the weekend to waking up on a Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, like, you know, all the time.

48:22And I'm sure you will love it. And you'll be like, Oh my God, this is the best thing ever. But it is very different going from dating to someone to living with someone. So I would just encourage you to rent even for six months, just rent for a short period whilst you're house hunting, just to make sure that I'm so confident. I know I'm making the right choice. This is my person. We've gone from strength to strength like we thrive living together it's the best I'm so happy let's go and buy a house yeah because as opposed to never having lived together before to buying a house if this was Lydia telling me she's been with a boy for a year and a half I'm gonna buy a house with him I'd be like well well well no you're not let's rent I'd say no you're not you're not putting all your money into this house you've known this boy yes you've known him for a year half but it's only been a year and a half yeah right respectfully it's not that long of a time you know you're 25 your frontals just developed like let's just wait a second before you're spending all your savings that you've worked really hard for you know to become a vet with this guy let's just rent for a year and then see and then I think that will make mum happy to be like look mum I'm gonna live with him for a year figure it out we'll see how we feel we're gonna trial it you know can still save a bit more um possible house hunting yeah and get somewhere that's gorgeous you know yep get some of the six months break laws if you really want to get out and just like you know get into your house yeah and then i think that's the smart because the last thing we need is combining all our money and putting all this money in and our financials because breaking up when you've got a mortgage i can only imagine is horror hell and horror just yeah it's just sensible i think just you have a trial period so i do see where your mom's coming from and then it's also like your mum would probably be even happier yeah exactly by the house because she's like oh i see you guys you're so happy like this is your home like you work so well together yeah she'll be like absolutely you guys yeah get in your house let's go yeah Love it.

50:26Right. More family drama. This is one for chintz. My sister keeps making me third wheel her dates. Have you ever third wheeled a sister's date? No, I'd be sick. Okay. I've never got to know one of Lydia's boyfriends like proper. Oh no, from of course. From of course. The icon. Who we all love and miss. Dom. Who's now married. We love. We love. He's married now. Lydia's first boyfriend is married. And no one's compared since. No, they haven't. No offense, Lyd. Hello, miladies. Miladies. Long time listener, first time writer. I'm Susan, 24, and my sister, 27, has a bad habit of making me give boys a lift home after her first date.

51:14Carpool, yeah, my sister can take you, don't worry. she loves driving around all night that's funny um sarah has been single five years and only ever goes for drinks on first dates okay smart i prefer more fun activity dates and usually like to wait until the third or fourth to go for drinks yes i've suggested this before but she says she feels more comfortable going out bit of liquid courage dimly lit bar i get that her dates usually go as follows. I'll agree to pick her up at a time and location and let her know when I'm on the way. When I arrive, she won't reply. I'll have to wait for her sometimes as long as 40 minutes.

51:54We live about half an hour from the city, so I always pick her up so I make sure she gets home safe. Yeah, that's so lovely. When she finally appears at my car, it's usually with her date. She just corners you and she'll then ask me to give him a lift home. Oh, so like we're both getting in the car. How icky from the boy. He can get his own way. I know. Like pay for your cab. I know. Like get your own Uber. Why are you relying on my sister to give you a lift? I know. I don't really ever feel like I can say no as I know I'm a reflection of her and wouldn't want to be responsible for the date ending badly.

52:25Oh, well, that's very considerate. Oh, right. Okay. Most of the guys seem reluctant to get in the car. Oh, but then agree anyway. She's done this four times this year. This time she's took it one step further and asked me to drive the guy home and take him to McDonald's drive-thru. I was annoyed but agreed. Without her in the car? I think she's in the car. No, she's in the car, right. Take us to McDonald's. Like you're a cow. Like you're a chauffeur. I was annoyed but agreed anyway. I don't know how to explain to her this makes me incredibly uncomfortable she's always drunk and complains if i'm not talking enough sometimes she even calls me names or complains about my driving it also doesn't help that she stays out until after 1am and it sometimes takes over an hour to get home with the extra stops she often gets upset about struggling to meet someone or getting ghosted after dates well yeah because she's bringing it in your car but part of me feels like meeting your date sister on the first date might just be a bit intense yes yeah how do i tell her it makes me uncomfortable thanks for all your help i'd say oi i ain't doing that again yeah that was a shit show last night stop i'll say i was out till 2 a.m i was waiting for 40 minutes in the fucking car i'll say then you bring that twat to the car and then you expect me to take you to mcdonald's get you some chips i ain't doing that again absolutely not that's what you say why don't next time you say get an uber home why don't next time like you send your dad to go and pick her up yeah and then she'll shit herself and then she'll be like leave leave leave yeah then she'll be like all right okay see you later yeah bye get your own uber yes yeah maybe she has this weird thing and she wants you to meet them almost yeah wants their approval yeah if you're like her kind of safety blanket yeah maybe she thinks oh like you know this is a good idea oh What do you think of him a little bit?

54:21Yeah. Maybe it's a bit of that. I see that logic. And also like a bit of nerves. And if she's a little drunk and she's like, you know. Yeah. I do see that logic. Yeah. But I would maybe just say, well, it might be dad or it might be me tonight. Yeah, you go. Well, it might be. Yeah, it might be dad tonight. Then she'll stop. Not feeling too well. Then she'll stop. I think you're just saying, bloody doing that again. I want your fucking chauffeur. Give me 30 quid for the petrol money. Yeah, give me some petrol money. I was sat there running the car for 40 minutes. Yeah. And I hope he bought you McDonald's as well.

54:48Yeah. I hope you didn't pay for it because you're on the driver's side. No. Apple Pay. That is very Lydia Coded. It would be me paying for her and her date's fucking McDonald's. Absolutely. You can't even drive so you're not going to worry about that. I can't drive. I forgot. You would send them an Uber, that's for sure. Yeah. Ew. Yeah. Oh dear. All right guys, let's finish on our star of the week, shall we? I'm so proud of you you don't have a wee in here today. That's so good. Oh my God, I have news. I didn't tell you. what oh my god we have news what last night he's pregnant oh last night blueberry was chewing something we're like what's that she's like i was like what's that let me get it let me get it a tooth she lost her first tooth last night she's a grown-up she's a woman and it was this little sharp little tooth you've lost your first because she was like spitting it out and then like trying to chew it whoa they do eat them sometimes yeah that's so exciting well done blueberry womanhood has arrived okay well on that note let's have our quick brian star of the week nomination absolutely rosie would like to nominate her fiance we traveled around tanzania gorgeous more specifically the breathtaking island of Zanzibar.

56:14Gorgeous. And during our trip, he proposed. He planned the most incredible once-in-a-lifetime safari experience, but it wasn't just any safari. We stayed in the most stunning hut-style lodge with wild animals freely roaming around us. That's my dream. He surprised me with a romantic breakfast picnic, complete with a backdrop of giraffes and zebras, casually enjoying their breakfast too. He asked one of the staff to take a photo of us, which didn't seem unusual for Brian, given how beautiful everything was. It was so happily posed, completely unaware of what was about to happen. As I stood there smiling for the camera, Brian turned to his left, got down on one knee and asked me to marry him.

56:53Oh, with the zebras? In pure disbelief, I completely forgot to even say yes. I was just shouting and screaming. Poor Brian was standing there a bit confused because he hadn't heard me say yes yet. I quickly reassured him it was a huge, massive, big, fat yes. in absolute shock still and can't believe it all happened. We've been happily engaged for a week now and already dreaming up our big 2027 South of France wedding. Look at them. Look at the giraffes in the background. Oh my God. South of France 2027. Rosie and Brian, the new fiancés. Well done, Brian, for that incredible proposal. Whee! Woo!

57:31Cheers from Blueberry 2. All right, guys. Happy Wednesday. Thank you so much for listening. if you would like an extra episode of the podcast you can get one every single monday over on patreon you can email your dilemmas and your star of the week submissions to hello at the girls bathroom you can indeed and you can follow us on instagram and tiktok and on youtube see you on monday if you're in the group chat if not we'll see you back here next wednesday bye

58:06Thank you.

58:36Thank you.

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