Girl Talk: His mum is STEALING my clothes??

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1:19you know the drama is never ending don't let it get the best of you

1:30i didn't know where we were going there you've just got to flow with me just flow with me okay sorry i'm flying we belong together I'm just really happy today. It finally appears. It's only love. Harry Styles is back, everybody. It's a great time to be alive. Do you know what it makes me feel like? Tell me. It makes me feel like I've just gotten back with my boyfriend. Your ex. And he's back. That's how it feels like. It's like he's been our ex. That's what everyone was saying. I feel like I'm seeing my ex. Literally. Because he's been our ex for three years. And any time I would listen to his music past couple of years, it's with a sadness.

2:09see it's making you know what a yearning and now he's here yearning yeah it's making me feel like i've traveled back in time yeah to that summer 2023 it's making me feel like oh my god i've like i'm suddenly like i'm just back in that in that period of life yeah that's what it feels like for me i'm like that was such a good summer i'm really excited that was so that was a great summer just like you know manchester but now it's a harry style spring we can't wait well it's harry year. June we're going to be there. Wembley. Woohoo. You know Shania Twain. Thank you Shania. Thank you Shania. We love you Shania.

2:46Chintzy is low-key a hate to us. Didn't I say something about her a couple weeks ago? I don't know. I did just say oh she's probably going to collab with Shania Twain. Well we saw her at Coachella didn't we? We do appreciate Shania and everything she's done and also everything she's done. Baby. Blueberry's getting very excited that Harry Styles is also back. Blueberry's not met Harry Styles. This is Blueberry's first time being alive with a Harry Styles era wow baby she's getting overwhelmed absolutely um yeah shania thank you shania he says shania when he was younger basically you know gave him his voice you know it was like his first like you know what his mom would wait to so we do thank shania for that i was so i saw on my uh feed this morning jade oh my yes and how crazy is this she was like the last time harry styles have released music.

3:34I was not, I was just a girl living life. Now I've got two kids. Yeah, that's crazy. That's how long it's been. How crazy is that? She's birthed two children. I mean, birthed. It went quick. Do you not think it went quick? I remember watching that final performance in Italy and like being like, oh my God, he's gone. Do you remember that? When he did that, the final show. And I was like, he's gone. He said, I'm going to go away for a few years. Yeah, I do remember seeing that. And I was just like, he's going to go. He's going, yeah. You know? It feels like it's, it doesn't feel like that long since we've seen him live.

4:06Exactly. But it does feel like a long time since we've had new music. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Do you know what I mean? I do know what you mean. Well, look, we're both. We're happy. Sorry. We're in one colour. We're serving monochrome. We're serving, I'm serving blueberry today. Yes, and I'm serving. Strawberry? Pink. I'm serving girls' bathroom core. You know? Yeah, she is. I've got blueberries. Muddy paw prints all over me. because it's muddy outside. Yes. Wait, so is that navy or black? It's black. Is it? Because I thought it was navy. Wow, she said rarly. She said I'm a rubber tree. That's what she said.

4:46Everything's gnarly. Yeah, nice. I like them. Okay, I'll give you a very quick synopsis. So I went to the nail shop. You should do black toes as well, dead ass like. Wait, I've actually got a thing about my toe. I'm not sure if I'll spend the whole podcast talking about it. What, you doing something to it? long story short um the you know how i bruised it yeah because you know i did run a half marathon and i bruised well i'll talk to you about toenail trauma well i've got toenail trauma because the man wants to cut the whole nail off yeah he wants to can i see it it's well now he painted it yesterday for me because i have i've had we can't just rip off a toenail that's attached it's half attached is it lifting then so it's half attached what does that mean so it's lifting at the top it no at the bottom at the bottom at the side it's lifting at the side one side but it's not bending upwards but it will start feel it it feels loose and he was like i'll paint them for you today but next time i need to cut the whole nail off and i was like what right you're all right the whole the whole thing off like that you're fine you know where me and you need to go you gotta get put to sleep for that me and you need to go because i've also got toenail trauma what's wrong with your toenail a lot i've had toenail trauma on that toe since i got stamped on somewhere with a heel with a bruise and it's not been right since yep yep yeah we need to go to margaret dabbs pediome what are the people called oh no that's pediometry pedometrist yeah pediatric children and they do medical pedicures for you with an actual pedometrist and do it properly and stuff wow i think i need to go that's what you need and i need i need to go next week yeah i'm gonna go because it was i've just discovered them and i i got issues yeah i got issues babes oh wow and you've always had perfect toes so how does this feel not good it feels Your wiki speed score is already primitive, babe.

6:44I know. It feels really... I lost my appetite. When he was like, I'm going to have to cut it off. I was like, what? I've never experienced such toe trauma like that. And then he also did a terrible job on the toes. And I was like, these look gross. Now I want to go... Could he cover up the bruise? Yes. But it's not even really bruised anymore. Yeah, it's just like... It's lifting. It's a weird color. It's not right. Spongle. Spongle. you will go to that podiatrist, she'll say you've got fungis. You've got a fungal toe. So now I want the toes changing, but I'm not going back to him because he wants to rip it off.

7:20So I'm going to have to go somewhere else. So we're going to go to Margaret Dabbs and get a pedometrist to do it properly. So anyway, then I sat down in the nail chair and I was like, my heart is beating because you've just told me that you're going to want to take my toenail off. And also there's a sense of shame and embarrassment. Do you know what else was embarrassing as well? This was so embarrassing. There was no one else in there apart from me and this other girl. It was quiet. She was almost closing. And I was like, yeah, this toenail has been giving me like a bit of grief. Like I did bruise it.

7:44Like it just stopped right. Is it all this? She then gets up. Sophia. Hi. I was like, Oh no, I'm mortified. She's got fungal toes. Yeah. I was like, great. Now she's going to spread the word that I've got a gross toenail. Sophia's fiance sucks her fungal toes. And she's telling all her mates. So then I sat in the chair and I was looking at all the navies, but they all seem to have this like weird shine. A navy is hard to find. It is hard. And I was like, okay, that's giving cobalt blue. So that's giving navy, but also it's giving like iridescent navy. And I don't want that. Under the sea. And then I really panicked and I went black.

8:21She's gone back to black. Amy Winehouse is here, ladies. I think it's really cool. And again, it's taking me back to when we were both about 15, 16 years old. And we exclusively had black nails and black toenails. It's fucking cool. I want black toenails. And also it will cover up that bruise easily. It will. That's why I started low-key because I have that fucking bruise. How long have you had this bruise for? a decade. I'm not gonna lie look I'm trying to find a man right now so I probably shouldn't be saying this. But the wiki score feet's low for a reason you know It was always like pretty high I was always a 4.5 was I not or a 4?

8:55I think you were a 3. I believe I was a 4 and you were a 5. Okay Chinsy's got lovely feet, a lovely arch any men listening, Chinsy's got lovely arch feet. I'll show you the arch Dawn knows about this arch Look at that fucking arch no seriously it's always look at the natural arch like it's a beautiful arch man look at that and i've got cute little toes size 38 yeah they may be fungal but they're small you're the one with the fungal mine are absolutely fine you're the one that's been googling pedometrist feet well actually keep my tiktok all right you had an answer well it's just about keeping you know the feet healthy and also they can well i need it look i i'll actually kiss your I hold my hands up.

9:37I've got an issue with my toenail and that's what it is. There's nothing to be embarrassed about. And I'm glad it's happening in winter. The fungal community welcomes you all. Because I want to wear flip-flops. Stop eating those mushrooms. I don't like mushrooms. Well, let's give me your fungal toe. I want to exclusively wear flip-flops from about May onwards. So I just need my toenail to get sorted by then. Yeah. Okay. Well, I think we should both take a trip to Margaret Dabbs. I'd like to go like next week. Yeah, no, me too. How booked up is she? Not very booked. No, she's got Kleenex. Sounds good.

10:04Well, I got red. Nice. Went to a new spot. Did I tell you about the new spot I went to? Yeah, you did. Yeah, I did. Great experience. Really enjoyed it. Lovely. And I think I picked a good red. Yeah, a Ferrari red. Yeah, because she picked, because I said, oh, 75. You know, when you look at that, she got a different 75. She's like this. I was like, that's not the one. So I'm glad I spoke up. Well done. And I was proud of myself. Yeah, because. That's 2026 growth. Yeah, truly. It's about when you're in the nail shop, they present you, you know, you're not liking it. You say, I don't like this. You know who needs to take a leaf out of that book?

10:37Grace Nicholson. Nicholson. Sorry, Nicholson. Grace, our manager, has never liked her nails in the four years that we've known her. How long ago in that woman? Four years. Three, four years. She's never liked her nails once. Four years. It's been a while. She's like, oh, I hate them. I'm like, oh, nice blue. Oh, no, I hate them. Oh, don't look. I hate them. As soon as she did them, I knew. I knew. Grace never liked her nails ever. Speak up. Yeah. So we're speaking up. Absolutely. 2026. I think we should all get black I think it looks good on blondes I think it looks good on everyone a short black I think it'll look good on you too You've got the long nails now though They're actually not that long She actually did cut them quite a bit Right, shall we dive in Yeah, let's dive in Welcome back everyone It's time for the question of the week Well we've got here What's something you did once And immediately said Never again Fungal toe Go to that nail shop that I went to yesterday.

11:36Ride an electric scooter. I will never ride an electric scooter. Or go in a helicopter. That's something we did once. Oh, no, you've done it a couple of times, actually. But I will never go in a helicopter. Apart from that one time. Put my fella's toes in my mouth. Fungle. Sleep with a colleague. Yeah, that's a bad mistake. Eat a plant-based baby bell. I've never had a plant-based Babybel. We'd probably like it. I've had a Babybel today, but it wasn't plant-based. It was random classic. I'd probably enjoy it because I don't mind the vegan cheese. I like a Dairy Lee triangle. Yeah. Have I told you about my Muller corner?

12:14Yeah. Yeah. Delicious. I look forward to it every day. Yeah. Well, you know who's been eating Greek yogurt? Bloops? No way. Nice little bit of Greek yogurt. Nice. Yeah. Create a fake Insta to watch his ex's stories. Oh, he did that. sorry she did that create a fake insta to watch his ex oh yeah it's not good that that's that slept with my mate situationship not good that's yeah sent a broken-hearted handwritten letter to him yeah let's not let's not let's not beg for a man to get back with us hey ring a guy's doorbell at 3 a.m hoping you'd let me in that's a risk that's an embarrassing one on the ring footage isn't it looking back dry shave that's fucking hell i've been there i've been there bleeding legs yeah yeah have a fake wedding interesting interesting pay for a man's uber come and see me yeah get my come and see you oh my god no get my eyebrows laminated i've never done that i can't say i've done that well we never went fell for the like sticky up look i don't think so no our eyebrows were definitely much thicker thicker yeah i look back and i'm like me too i'm like fuck but i also think it's a sign of youth thick eyebrows yeah like i do think i'm looking back up now and i'm like i actually looked younger really i've got to that point where i'm like did i look younger there see i want really skinny brows yeah because i don't know i think it creates a bit more space there for me i i just look back at myself and i think i think I think I looked younger with a bigger brow.

13:50Yeah, probably. Because that's giving that au naturel. It's giving the chance of the time, you know? Yeah. But yeah, we never did the lamination. Loki, I think I look my best with a bit of bleach on my brows. I agree. A bit of lightness. I liked that for you. I think you need to do it. I think I should do it now. If it's going to work on anyone the best, it's going to be you because you're blonde. I think I will do it now. A bit of Jolie. Yeah, a bit of Jolie and Creme Bletch. Jolie. Okay. Hey, what's something you did once and immediately said never again? Anal. Ouch. Yeah, okay. We've got Raya here.

14:25Oh, the good old days. Yeah, they won't let me on Raya. A spin class. Oh, I like a spin class. I like a spin class. However, they are, they are rough. But they're effective, I believe. I think they're effective. I believe so. And I think there's something about a 30 minute spin class. Yeah. You're in, you're out. you're dripping and sweaty it's good music yeah you know if you find that good trainer i remember this is one guy that i was going to i've not done a spin class in a while but when i was really in my like spin class era um like start when was it last year you went through a little phase recently yeah and i really found the trainer that i liked it was really good and yeah i really liked it yeah i love a spin i might reconnect with yeah like it's good music it's jumping in here Yeah, date a man with skinny, skinny legs.

15:17Yeah. I mean, my rule is never date a man with skinnier legs than mine. No, I can't be. No. They got to have some meat on there. Yeah, I don't. You know? Yeah. Like I can't put your clothes on and they fit. That's weird. Well, I can't put your jumper on and it's tight on me. Like if your job is a tight on me, like I'm going to spiral. Yeah, I'm going to spiral. Did you see that girl on TikTok? No, but low key. My boyfriend just asked to borrow my jeans because he forgot his. I'm so embarrassed. I'm going to spiral. But Loki, like, if a man put this jumper on size medium aloe, it would look bigger on them.

15:52What? I've had that before. My jumpers look bigger on a man. Because they would rather it be, like, say I went to the men's section. Yeah. I'd buy a large. Yeah, me too. Or an XL. That's the size we want it. However, well, just the men I've experienced in the past, they'll probably want a medium in that. Right. So then they put on the XL. Oh, shit, yeah. It's like a dress. It's like a dress. Yeah. Yeah. And that's not a good feeling. No, that's not good for anyone's ego. You know, we've got here a Hollywood wax. I've never had a puss wax. I've never had a wax ever. No, me neither. I've never waxed anything.

16:27I've done a stosh. Oh yeah, I've done a moustache. Yeah. But I've not waxed my legs or my vagina ever. I can only imagine. All of experience is laser in the vagina. Me too. And that is also a weird experience because she puts the wet gel on me. Oh. yeah you know like what you get you get an ultrasound she puts wet gel all on me oh my god and then goes in with her device and it's see my lady was doing it dry that's but also that's painful mine wasn't painful because i'm painful i'm using the what's my machine called the soprano ice the soprano ice machine and it is painless laser guys seriously you've got to find someone that has a soprano ice machine literally zero pain and it's coming back so patchy like barely anything bad it's like a dead ass okay okay we've got whoa get a finger up the bum never again that's the lady from last week started her addiction ah who likes to eat to feces if you remember if you know you know um a high rocks yeah i mean i it appeals to me I've never done it but it does not appeal to me yeah I see Zoe doing it I'm like that looks kind of good I like it you know you do it in pairs I like that yeah it looks like a nice like fun passion thing yeah absolutely let a guy suck my toes I'm a runner with gross feet Sophia can relate what we're doing with our toenails guys maybe you should start you know a little community I think it's part of the community the runner's toes yeah but you know who's got the worst toes we also can relate ballerinas hear hear but they've got a lot of fungal a lot of bruise that's very true that's very true and a lot of fucked up toenails so really it's you know it's just because we're so athletic absolutely well I'm in the gym seven days a week so okay and you know squeezing into our point shoes regularly absolutely there's a reason I've got that arch guys I wasn't born with it I trained my feet to be that way molded you know sculpted I was an athlete as you can see scholarship as you can tell an athlete with a scholarship get to know trust the girl best friend unfortunately that could kick you in the bum yeah lend my ex money yeah never lend a boy money have a sambuca shot Lydia knows a lot about sambuca shots that'll send you ass I know a lot about sambuca shots I was never a sambuca shot kind of girl I had like a one year phase which was just mental I remember you did I was always I'd rather do tequila or just like vodka but sambuca I used to like enjoy it it's like licorice She makes me feel really sick.

19:05Send you west. Right. It's dilemma time. Oh, look, my baby's come to find me. She's come to find her mommy.

19:17Just before we get into it, quick disclaimer. Just to say, we are not doctors. We are not professionals. We do not actually know what we are talking about. This is a lighthearted space. Okay. Don't take what we say literally because we could be wrong. Yeah. And if there's anything serious, if there's anything you feel like you're seriously struggling with, Please contact a GP, a professional, because that is not us. We're just girls, girls and boys just like you, you know? We're just trying to get through life as well. Not professionals. Enjoy the episode.

19:44Right, first dilemma here. We've got boyfriends, it's girl talk, by the way. Sorry, we didn't highlight that at the start of the app. Boyfriend's mum is stealing my things and moving my stuff around. Not the mum. that's is that giving victoria beckham yeah that's an invasion of privacy it's giving vb uh p.s i live at my parents house also and we are only 10 minutes away from brian's parents okay so you're kind of going over there with an overnight bag leaving some bits and bobs and she's got her fingers in all your bits i think so she's digging me and my boyfriend brian have been together for six years we're both in our mid-20s and overall i have a really good relationship with his mum.

20:29Good. We're close, we get on well and there's never been any obvious tension until now. A few years ago, I start, a few years ago, I started noticing something a bit strange. Whenever I'd go over to Brian's house, his mum would be wearing my clothes. No. I thought she was just like stealing a bit of like face cream or something. Not wearing your fucking clothes. That's fucked. My hoodies. That's fucked because she wants to be you. Therefore, she wants to sleep with her son. Do you know what I mean? My hoodies, my pajamas, my slippers, basically anything comfy I'd worn over. The weirdest part, she never acknowledged it.

21:11No, like, oh, I borrowed this. Like nothing. That is so fucked. I'm sorry. Imagine going around to your boyfriend's house and his mum is wearing your like new Brandy Melville hoodie. Would you not be so scared? Would you not be really scared? I'd be really scared. Well, at first I'd be thinking, have you gone and bought the same like yeah yeah yeah is that i have lost that though yeah i think i did leave that here so yeah yeah and also like you've only got a son you know it's not his yeah well it's not even like you thought it was your daughter she knows exactly what she's done she's gone into his bedroom and fished out your clothes and put them on but also why is he not saying anything yeah like isn't that surely his first thing to say is that that's like take it off okay at first i ignored it because it felt awkward to bring up but i didn't want to seem rude but then one day you know how scary that is sorry i'm actually just literally i'm really like scared one day when she wasn't home i went into her dressing room and found an entire cupboard full of my hoodies and joggers fuck off like an actual stash of my clothes i took them back and decided I just wouldn't leave any clothes at his house anymore.

22:22That is fucked. So she also knows, she's gone into that cupboard, it's empty. It's been raided. Yeah, yeah, yeah. She knows like, okay, she's caught me. Like my shrine has been destroyed. Oh my God. Is she washing them before she's wearing them at least? I don't know. Like you're wearing them with my stench on. But also why are you keeping them in your cupboard? Like you're just claiming them. Then there was the slipper incident. What? I bought brand new slippers, tags still on, left them in Brian's room so I could wear them when I stayed over. Yeah, yeah, yeah, nice. They went missing for weeks.

22:51Fuck off. About a month later, I came back, found them dumped at the bottom of the stairs, completely ruined, worn in, and very clearly lived in. I was fuming. Yeah. That's also so disrespectful. She's trying to, like, establish some dominance over you. But that in itself is so, like, it's just so disrespectful. Like, imagine, right, if your friend stayed over and she left a brand new top. Tags on. Tags on. You would be like, right, I'm going to hang that up. I'll put it a little bit. You would take care of it. The last thing you would do is wear it and then let alone wear it, wear it, wear it, wear it, wear it, wear it, wear it, wash it, spill stuff on it, and then just dump it.

23:36I think it's like threatening behavior. It's like, I'm here. So rude. like nothing is yours like anything you leave in my house is mine like it's weird but then she did say that they had a good relationship surely not and they get on well and they're close how? okay so that's a slipper incident after that I avoided leaving anything there for about two years I lived out of a sleepover bag every single time I stayed like where's Brian like what was Brian like surely you've said to Brian or have you not mentioned it to him maybe she's just kept it in I don't know fast forward to now Brian's parents have moved house And Brian has a new bedroom Because we're hoping to buy a house within the next year They suggested we live with them Full time Well yeah, she needs some new clothes They told us we can make the bedroom our own And really have our own space So I did exactly that I bought a long oval mirror A rug, candles, some home books I even bought some bits from my own bedroom So I could feel calm and at home We're not officially living there full time yet but we sleep there every night.

24:40And every single day, I come back to the bedroom and my things have been moved. Raided. What the fuck? I'm talking reed diffusers moved, books rearranged, the mirror moved, the washing basket moved, basically anything that belongs to me. I like things clean, tidy and in their place and it's genuinely starting to drive me insane. I've spoken to Brian about it more than five times. Oh, okay. So you've made a point. Okay. he's spoken to his mum she's promised to stop oh yeah it keeps happening what the yesterday i noticed everything had been moved again and instead of just putting it back i rearranged the entire room i moved everything i physically could apart from heavy furniture thinking surely this makes it clear this is now our space oh so you kind of went in and right okay i came back today and everything i moved had been moved again no this is not right you know at this point i don't know what to do.

25:38I've thought about asking her directly, but she's very sensitive and I'm scared of upsetting her. I've thought about taking every single thing I own out of the bedroom and putting it in my car just to prove a point. Or I just silently rage and say, and say nothing. The strangest part is that we've actually had a good relationship. She's very involved. I hate the idea of causing tension, but I'm also starting to feel like I don't have any personal space. Am I overreacting? Is this a massive boundary issue? And how do I deal with this without blowing up my relationship with her or my boyfriend. Pics attached.

26:11Oh, brilliant. Was not expecting pics. Oh, there's no pictures of the room. Do we have pictures of the mother? They're a lovely couple. Yeah, mother and son. They look quite close, but that's not a bad thing. I need to ask a mother why. She's giving glamour. Oh, really? She's giving glamour puss, yeah. Really? She's actually a very attractive mum, I think. Oh, yeah. Why is she doing that then? It looks like she's got her own style. She knows what she's doing. she's in love with her son she gets a beauty treatment she's in love with her son this is you though sarah look again gorgeous let's see sarah nice slick back nice oh yeah gorgeous lovely little holter and this is the picture of the two of them really nice picture that james of the moment oh oh gorgeous an event in the summertime giving a wedding maybe yeah some sort of formal occasion yeah yeah right okay so what on earth i mean the the nice things here are that she has whilst you guys are saving for your house she said come and live at ours together you know make your room your own but but but there's an ulterior motive there something is going on here that we do not know we don't know the full story is she trying to drive you out is she like what does she want right she's just invited you in right she either wants to be you and she's quite literally going into your room every day sniffing around licking things moving things stealing you know a pair of I don't know something here and there yeah grabbing your new brandy leggings and I don't fucking know the clothes is wild no it's really scary especially like repeatedly like it's so bold I think and you're just like stashing it in your wardrobe I've then taken it out of your like also I wouldn't even do that to you I wouldn't even do that to her like actually hoard stuff But also like if I'm going to my boyfriend's mum's house, I'm not looking in her wardrobe.

28:06No. I'm not snooping around her room or her wardrobe. I'm not going in her room unless she is in her room. Like I'm not going in there on my own. I'm not going in there period. Yeah, but if you're invited in. Yeah, yeah. If we're chatting. I'm not going in. No. Rooting round. No. Like the fact that you've even gone in there, found all your stuff. She knows you found all the stuff. I've got a couple of questions. does she have a daughter she didn't i think no i'm assuming no because i think it would have been flagged i'm thinking she's an only child or she has only ever had brothers she's never had a sister or and she doesn't have a daughter so she might genuinely not know how to act you don't need a sister to know how to act well true but maybe she's got no mates i'm just thinking some only children that's true yeah that's true there is just that's true that's just that's just common sense true but i'm also trying to think you know something's gone down you know she she's at least not got a daughter i know that for a fact i don't think she has no i i think it's giving brian's an only child yeah and she's just abs i think this is brian's responsibility he needs to say mom stop fucking going in our room that you're going in our room like what if something weird was out It's our private space.

29:25You've invited us into. Yeah. And you've encouraged us to make this our own. Yeah. Anyway, let's just get a lock. I think we should just get a lock and call it a day. Yeah. Because she's going to palm it off. It's like, oh, I'm just going in and doing a little cleaner hoovered. You know, I gave it a little dusting. It's like, no, you're moving everything. You're fucking sniffing my knickers. I think set booby traps and set locks. Yeah. Because she's defo. But the clothes is wild. That's fucked. The clothes is crazy. Like what? I wouldn't even put your clothes on. I wouldn't even put your clothes on and not even say anything.

29:56And then just show up. That's fucked. Repeatedly. And it's like, you don't know me like that. Like you are the mother of my boyfriend. Like you don't have your hands in my fucking, like don't put your crotch where my crotch has been. Like that's weird. Did she think that you would just assume that like you had the same stuff? Well, I also think, I don't know if she just thinks like, this is what we do. We live together. No. But we don't know. She may never have a sister or a daughter. The audio listeners, Jinzia keeps tapping on her head. Yeah, we don't know. Do you know what I mean? Like she might be like, oh, this is so nice.

30:30A girl's living here. Let me go grab her stuff and borrow it. Oh, yeah. Like, I don't know. My instinct is that she wants to be young and cool like you. I think she likes you. No, I think it's sinister. And I think she wants to be young and cool. Yeah. and I think that she is stealing your stuff and telling herself, she'll just think she lost it and she'll think that I bought this. Yeah, she's so stupid. We shop at the same places. Forever 21, I bought this. Yeah. And it's like babes. Yeah, I'm on ASOS. Yeah, I'm on ASOS. Weird. Bold and weird. But then it's just like, let's go shopping together.

31:09If you want me to help out with what I'm wearing, let's just go shopping. Let's hit the shop. Let's go Westfield. Get your card out, let's go. H &M and we can get you some nice gear. But it's crazy that like you have no other complaints. Yes. That's why I'm like, no, I don't get it. It's not matching up. I don't get it. No. Yeah, I'm not sure. Locks and booby traps. Yeah, just go lock and get Brian to say like, stop. Get out our room. Or why don't you just like go into, if you're going in her room, just pop a dressing gown on. Just see how it lands, you know? I bet it won't. I bet it would be met with tension.

31:47I bet Met with tension I think so I don't think she's going to be I think it met with tension I think so I don't think she's going to be like But then it's like yeah Because she's not even addressed it That's what we do isn't it We share it to the stuff But when she's put your stuff on She's not even addressed it Yeah so you put her dressing gown on Don't address it I don't want to put it on I don't want to put that on Smells like her It might be nice It might be If it's a room dressing gown It might be rooms You know It might be nice But it's like I don't want to wear Like someone's clothes With like that You know a dressing gown It's very personal Intimate clothing like she's been naked in the back like no thanks yeah this ad is sponsored by ZocDoc hi it's Danny Pellegrino from Everything Iconic have you been putting off that annual doctor's appointment because you don't want to make the call or maybe you've been meaning to find a new dentist but you have no idea where to start I find that's especially true when you move it's hard to find your people I've been there which is why I use ZocDoc now as a busy podcaster parent and someone who's always juggling a million things.

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34:09okay we're gonna start here with the situation surrounding a niece you've got a niece i have shout out shout out maybe this is an issue with you guys she is about two months old so we're not quite having any issues yet uh but you know give it time yeah you guys might clash you never know you never know give it a decade i might you might start stealing our clothes or something yeah right am i third wheeling him and his niece so let's imagine i've met a guy yeah it's i'm hitting it off yeah yeah yeah but his fucking niece is always here niece is it's weird so that's her uncle right yeah just getting that right yeah yeah so she's like uncle uncle yeah uncle take me to see if i had a new boyfriend and i was hanging out with my nephew like I'm not giving my boyfriend any attention right yeah I'm there with my nephew yeah I'm I'm assuming I'm actually I've got a role in this human's life yeah you know I'm an aunt oh wait wait so you're saying you're not bringing your boyfriend around sure no I I would but like I'm not paying you much attention right I'm here to hang out with my nephew yeah you can be here so it sounds like you could be the person in this in this issue I'm no because your boyfriend's I'm third wheeling her and her nephew.

35:30Yeah, it's a tough shit. This is an issue. I'm an auntie. Get with the program. Right. You're not top of my priority in this trio. Right. Well, you've answered her dilemma before then. Genuinely. Yeah, maybe I have. He's saying niece over you, bitch. I would too. Yeah, right. Well, there we go. We don't need to read. Right. I'm a long time listener here. I never imagined I'd be writing in myself. I feel like this is a different kind of dilemma than you usually get. Well, that's big claims. That's big claims. We've been doing this for a while, Sarah. Yeah, yeah. Well, Sophia's experienced it firsthand.

36:04So myself and Brian have been together for only one year. But it was fast. It was a fast and whirlwind relationship. We belong together. Yes, Sophia. And we came into each other's lives when we were least expecting it. How beautiful is that? How beautiful is that? For some context, we were both in our early 20s and both had long-term partners before. We both come from quite large families. Nice. Nice context for us. Nice. We met on a night in a pub and texted for weeks before agreeing to meet up again. This is where my dilemma begins. He brought his niece to the first meet. Yeah, like, is he in love with his niece?

36:44No. I'm not sure. when we met up the fuck because you know what where my mind's dinging dinging dinging where's your mind dinging dinging uh danny and his sister who's that from friends oh danny i feel your bath is ready like that's where my mind's going yeah like my mind's going is like they're they're too close yeah and you're like whoa this is a bit weird wait maybe it's one of those situations where the niece is actually older than him well yeah i there are yeah i can play like that sometimes well yeah because at primary school some four-year-olds were uncles i'm an uncle i'm an auntie yeah i'm an auntie you're four years old babe yeah you're four years old all right yeah so it could be that situation yeah there was that girl in our year that was an auntie remember yeah she was like in year two i'm an auntie maria how i'm an auntie maria

37:46okay yeah i remember that yeah i'm an auntie actually yeah push her little baby yeah yeah yeah i'm four yeah i've got a lot of responsibility i actually am an auntie yeah i'm an auntie yeah a single mom she's like hold the baby i've got a picture of the baby I've got a picture of you holding a baby after school. You're six. I've got a picture. I've got an image of mine like walking around the playground holding that baby. Yeah, she's like, I'm an auntie. I'm an auntie. Yeah. Shout out. She was cute though. The baby. Yeah, it was a cute baby. It actually was, yeah. And they all look the same. They all look the same.

38:22They all look the same. They all look the same face. Fannings. Oh, shout out. Okay, so, when we met up the following weekend, okay, so we met in the pub. Brilliant, brilliant. Yeah, yeah, yeah. When we met up the following weekend, it was amazing. We just connected instantly. A couple of hours into the evening, he took a Snapchat of us and he was sending it to his niece. Which I didn't mind. I would like that too. I'd be like, oh, look, showing the family. Yeah, I'm part of the fam. Like the family know about me. I'm not a secret. This is good. This is good. He had told me through our first few days texting that he was extremely close to her and that she would be excited that he had met someone.

39:03Sorry, I couldn't get my words out. Okay, so I'm really close to my niece. She's going to be really excited. I respect that. That's lovely. She sent a snapback of her face with her mouth wide open saying, oh my God. Okay, nice. Nice. Again, at the time, I didn't think anything of this. That's normal. Normal. As all I thought is that, oh, it was sweet that he had a good relationship with his niece. I should preface this by saying that his niece is 19. We're in our early 20s. So let's say - He was that kid at school. Yeah, he was the uncle at three years old. He was the uncle in reception. So let's say he's 22 and she's 19.

39:43So he's had major responsibility for his entire life and he feels like this is his child. Literally. The way he would have been guarding her in the playground is mental. like oh yeah that's my niece that's my niece uncle uncle yeah yeah he loved it he loved it being eight years old yeah i can tell he loved it so let's let's for the story's sake uncle is 22 niece is 19 he was an uncle at three years old yeah yeah okay life hit him fast yeah life hit him fast and he had responsibilities he had to grow up yeah so in the weeks that followed he was constantly chatting about her. Whoa. Yeah. He's very passionate.

40:23That's fine. Yeah, it's like you're an uncle, you're passionate about your job. Yeah, absolutely. Doing stuff with her and when we went to the Christmas markets, he was snapping photos of us and our food, etc. and sending it to her. Again, at the time, I just thought it was sweet. Yeah. Yeah, you're thinking of the clothes. Like, whatever. It's giving just like brother and sister snapping each other, keeping each other updated. You know, I'm out with my girl. Yeah. Cousins. Friendly cousins. so she just thinks that's sweet sweet sweet however i started to notice that anytime we were together he was constantly snapchatting her and keeping in contact yeah it would start to be like who the fuck is this bitch yeah yeah right a problem because it's like you're suddenly googling is it illegal for uncles to marry their nieces oh my god yeah absolutely well because in my mind if i'm hanging out with my boyfriend my phone is away i'm being present i'm here with my love absolutely yeah and he is constantly snapping his knees yeah but right now it's sweet yeah it's sweet it's sweet he's an uncle he's got responsibilities yeah yeah yeah we would go out for dinner he'd be sat across the table from me snapping her asking what she's up to how her day was sending her photos with food etc whereas i would never even lift my phone during our dates that's my point yeah we would go on walks or hikes sorry just quick pause here the niece even here is irrelevant it's the fact that you are like on your phone constantly during our dates yeah on snapchat talking to other people like you're here with me like i don't care if you're messaging your best mate your brother whoever it is like i've noticed you have a huge habit of constantly being on your phone it's just rude it's just rude but also like just facetime her at the end of the day and tell her about everything you don't have a snapper all day through like you could call her later say yeah we went to pizza express we were like Like, just call her once a day.

42:12Anyway. I'll see you on Sunday. We would go on walks or heights and he would send her snaps and be telling her what we were up to all the time. Family is the most important thing to me and would always want him to have a good relationship with his. The thing is, he has loads of nieces. Interesting. I thought this was his only niece. So did I. I thought it was an uncle to one. I thought it was a one-on-one bond. No. He's got loads of nieces and nephews but barely speaks to most of them. But he's in contact with her 24-7. I brought it up to him that I would appreciate if we could keep what we are up to between us keep what we're up to between us and be present in the moment okay so you just kind of did it like that you're not even addressing the needs you're addressing the phone usage yeah just like let's be present let's be present we can talk babe we're on this mountain let's enjoy it after we've done the activity absolutely that was a nice way to put it yeah and be present and in the moment when we're out for dinner or on walks and he got really defensive interesting she is involved in every aspect of our relationship as he has asked her to help pick out my christmas present got her to wrap it and for my birthday present he had sent her photos of it two seconds after me opening it before we even had a moment to soak it up just the two of us oh my god this man i've said to him is crazy that i would rather be the only one involved i would rather he be the only one involved in the presents etc so that everyone can be surprised as to what he got me.

43:35He asked her for advice on everything. She's put on caps. And helps with stuff that I've already told him. I hope we've got pictures attached. If we've not got pictures attached, I'm going to be so upset. If I have a picture of the niece, I'm going to scream. I actually need a picture of the niece. I need to see a family dynamic. I need to see the uncle and the niece. Shall I? Yeah. Do we have it? Scroll down. Fuck! No! We've not got photos. No, I'm actually... My soul is shattered. but I can picture them pretty easy okay so I want to say have you even met it doesn't sound like you've met the niece it doesn't sound like you've met the niece sounds like she's just a fictional character on the phone is she even his niece oh my god Sophia has cracked it Sophia is fucking giving Harriet from the Traitors murder mystery style she's fucking cracked it she's fucking cracked it this could just be his girlfriend it's his long distance girlfriend Who's his long distance girlfriend?

44:33Why do you think it's his niece? Oh my God. Just because he's told you? Yeah, because like, have we met the auntie? Like, wait, sorry. The mother, which would be his sibling? Sorry, what? So the mother would be his brother's sister? Like, who's the mother of the niece? His sister or brother? Is that right? Is that how it works? The mother of the niece. Well, it could be by blood. It could be by marriage. It's his siblings' kids. Yes. So have we met the mother? I bet it's just his girlfriend I bet I'm gonna oh my god and his girlfriend thinks you're his niece oh my god that's fucked and Sophia's got it so right right um okay here we go part two I wanna say that his niece is a really nice girl and I do get along with her we must have met we have met theory debunked yeah yeah yeah debunked but she but she has her nose way too far in our business I bet she's heard about your sex life oh yeah he said well Sarah actually did this interesting move I just wonder what your thoughts were niece for example we have discussed moving abroad and he made a big song and dance about having to go down to her house and sit her down to break the news but with the rest but with the rest of his siblings nieces and nephews it wasn't a big thing and he didn't even mention it to them he is yeah why has he got this weird it's a special attachment that yeah maybe it was because from such a young age you know yeah but he's got other nieces and nephews from such a young age maybe not though the other nieces and nephews could be like babies so I think we're moving abroad and we were telling we're telling her when we told her she said it was insane and a stupid idea and she wasn't happy I but you're always just on FaceTime anyway yeah Snapchat was the same whether you're in Spain literally I told him that quite frankly it's none of her concern and if we want to move abroad we will and I feel like we will I feel like we have a child who we have to involve in all our relationship and decisions and it feels like there's three of us in the relationship and there's three of us in marriage okay so it's really getting to you now you feel like there's always this other person that we have to consult she knows everything we're doing every single day we've got to consult her about moving everything and she's not happy with our decision but quite frankly it's our relationship yeah anytime you feel like you're sharing him with her which is weird yep anytime i have politely brought it up he has got so annoyed and dismissive and threatened to tell the niece tell the niece or he says say it to her face fuck when i'm literally not even saying anything bad that that is crazy all i'm saying is like feels like there's someone else always involved say it's her fucking face then yeah when i'm literally not even saying of that he's also said she's been around long before you i mean it's true nasty that's nasty you shouldn't be said like it should be met with oh how do you feel oh my god look okay obviously you know you're not like she's been around longer than you yeah like know your place there's no need for that that's giving like know your place yeah it's thicker than water Like niece comes first.

47:50Yeah, that's exactly what that is. Well, yeah. As if it's my fault, I only came into his life one year ago. He's also only gotten close to this niece in the last two years and barely acknowledged her before this. Oh, so what? When she was 18, they became close? 17. Yeah. Right, okay. So then, yeah, that was when he would be 21. 20. Yeah, that's interesting. So he wasn't grinding in reception like we thought he was to take care of her. He's actually just started giving a shit in the past two years. But he was probably proud of his role in reception, yes. But when he hit 19, he was like, oh, I've got this niece.

48:33Okay. There are so many examples I could give. For example, I live in Birmingham and he lives in Manchester. So it takes about two and a half hours to get to each other's houses. For this reason, we can only see each other a limited amount of times. Times If he came to stay at my house on a Saturday or a Sunday For a night or two He would leave by lunchtime on the Monday To be back to Manchester to collect her from school I thought she was 19 School School Plot hole College 19 No Uni Oh yeah what the fuck You leave school at 17 Maybe she's training to be something Maybe she's got a separate training something Right You know yeah collect her from school that is fucked it's not that crazy is it it's just an uncle it's just an uncle picking up his niece but like

49:28but like you've left

49:34uncle picking up niece from school that is said with such disgust that is also like in manchester there's a tram service I know that for sure get on the bus you're 19 aren't you I'm sure she's got a bus pass right but your point but I think she's begging come back uncle come pick me up your point is you're leaving me early to go and pick up someone who doesn't need picking up she's a 19 year old girl studying she can get the bus she can get a tram she's got parents she's probably got other people She's got parents and she's also got siblings. She's got other people who can collect her if she needs collecting.

50:13Why are you leaving me your girlfriend? Like it's not your... Like it's like you have to go and pick her up. Like also like where's the grandparents? You know, this is their grandchild. Let them do a shift. The grandparents. So who's that? Brian's mom and dad. Yeah. Yeah. Is it? Yeah. Of course it is. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. this is bizarre yeah it's giving the nieces the priority and I'm gonna do anything for my niece um okay which is not a bad thing but it's in this context it's weird yeah yeah here we go even though there is a bus that drops her right to her house inside within 15 minutes and she has parents and multiple of the aunts and uncles available who could lift her exactly someone's not going right she says that she's too good for the bus I mean look listen it's like Blueberry she's too good for the bus yeah Blueberry whoa okay okay well learn to drive babes get a car but that's not the point the point is she's got other people she could get a lift she doesn't have to ask her uncle who's in Birmingham she's too good for the bus okay okay okay she says she's too good for the bus and we'll text him get your steps in babes and we'll text yeah that's a lovely like 40 minute walk.

51:36Yeah. Lovely get your steps in moment. Yeah. Get a podcast on. Harry Styles new music that'll keep you company. And would text him asking for a lift even though he like she knows he's two and a half hours away. Yeah that's mental. And we get little time together. Yeah this would piss me off too Sarah. She also always knows when he's at mine because obviously they're chatting all day and still ask him. She's doing it on purpose. She's doing it on purpose. He only once told her he couldn't do it because he was at my house and she was so dry and huffed with him. Am I going crazy? He also lifts and lays...

52:13What? He also lifts and lays her to work. Even though her parents would happily do it. That must be drops. Oh. Is that a slang term? Lifts and lays? I don't know. It might be a Manchester thing, yeah. Lifts and lays. It's like cardboard. He also lifts and lays her to work. Yeah, it must be a... Yeah. I was like, he's lifting her up and laying her down. He also lifts and belays. So he is her chauffeur. He's her chauffeur. Yeah. I fear she just sees like my uncle who will do anything for me and I'm going to make sure he does anything for me. She knows exactly who she is. Exactly. I love that for her.

52:47Vice versa. If I was up at his for the weekend, she would always be around and we would have to bring her for breakfast and lift her from school, et cetera. Okay. So she's also in on the dates. She's going to school on the weekends. I don't know what she's doing. What kind of school is this? I don't know what she's doing. I don't know what she's doing. So we could never plan a nice hike We're hiking on our Where are we? We're in the cliffs of Manchester Right The cliffs Those good old cliffs Like we could never just hike Yeah We would also be in bed sleeping And she would ring 15 plus times You are joking For him to lift her from a night out When again her other single aunties and uncles would happily lift her And also get a cab I know like are you with your mates let's carpool but she's like my uncle will come and get us yeah he's only 22 you know my uncle he's like he's really cool actually he's yeah he's got a bmw yeah it's really cool right leather seats got heated seats heated seats yeah she goes to all of his football games and yeah she's in love with him she might yeah she might be like she i think She really admires her uncle.

54:02And gushes over how good he was. How proud of him she is. She also compliments all of his outfits and tells him he looks good. What's the Santa's? It's sometimes giving incestuous, like she's in love with him. She always asks him on dinner dates, where's his jersey? Sorry. Where's his jersey? wears his jerseys around the place and they have movie nights all the time also does she think uncles and nieces can get together she's young she might not know that you can't get with a relative doesn't matter if you're doesn't matter if you're similar in age she genuinely maybe she doesn't know her blood her lines are all blurred and she's like she's like oh my god yeah i think it it i think and she and he's cool he's probably not he's probably quite attractive and she's like yeah he's your boyfriend so he's obviously got something about him oh should we go to my uncle's football game yeah he's so amazing he's so i'm so proud of him yeah come pick me up yeah also so we're having movie nights also when he's at mine for the night they will constantly be texting and should be querying when he'll be back she would send him snaps of her crying so he'd spend half an hour ringing her to see if she was okay again eating into our time together she knows exactly what she's doing exactly what she's doing if he doesn't reply to her for whatever reason the niece would complain to his mom who would then text him to reply to her or ring her oh again he's in his 30s we've got this so wrong He's in his 30s Yeah I thought she said we met When we're in our early 20s She's been dealing with the shit For a decade Wait But she said we've been together For a year He's in his 30s So he was an uncle at 12 Still very young Yeah He's giving Teen pregnancy So if we're That was a great show Wait Teen Mom Teen Mom That was the show 16 and pregnant 16 and pregnant That's what I was thinking of If we were at his house And away for the away at the cinema or something she would text are you coming home tonight and what time would be home sometimes she acts like his mother and is so opinionated on what he's doing and other times it's like we have a child i've got a theory yeah i've got a quick theory based on what the mum said obviously we don't know the family all the family law but i've got a feeling that his brother yeah or maybe sister i.e the father of the niece well i think the father because it was his sister was it his sister's kid yeah his sister so obviously the father is maybe the father's not his blood right because the way the mum was like you need to call your niece back and blah blah yeah i feel like the impression i'm getting is that he is very much playing a dad role here yeah and feels like he has a lot of responsibility.

57:14So maybe, yeah, the dad's not in the picture or the mom, someone, I think someone is not in the picture and he has taken it upon himself to fill that role. And that's why he's picking her up from school, always communicating. Like he maybe feels a lot of responsibility purely from the fact of the mom even being aware of it and being like, you need to call her back. What are you doing? You need to ring her back. Like, because - Because of the special bond. But yeah, otherwise, because that's not giving because before it was giving like I don't know but the fact that the mum knows how close they are it's giving that he's kind of stepped into a role here.

57:51Yeah. And he's in his 30s. I thought he was 22. Yeah. Myself and Brian FaceTime a lot as we are semi long distance but every call is interrupted because she comes into his room to chat to him even though she knows he's talking to him. It's like they live together but I don't think they do but they do they? I don't know. He tells me he will ring me back after they talk even though they may have spent the full day together she has also mentioned wanting to to come on our holidays with us to be frank and the nicest way to put this is they are so far up each other's asses i of course want him to have a great relationship with his niece but i really can't understand it because he doesn't bother he doesn't bother with his other nieces and nephews and he was previously in a nine-year relationship and said he barely chatted with his through that so can't understand why she is at the forefront of ours so he's only developed a relationship with this in recent years when he was 28 or like 29 that's so interesting because i thought did anything happen in the family is there something that maybe we don't know i know like i don't know to me she's a weird hold over him and controls a lot of what he does yeah he's a grown man so i don't know why he allows it or why he's even using snapchat at his big age anytime i mention it it seems to hit a nerve and i get dismissed so i've kind of given up but am i the asshole for asking that our relationship is between us and every detail doesn't have to be broadcast to his niece because sometimes i feel like i'm being a total bitch as it is his family p.s his family are great and i have a brilliant relationship with all of them to me it's just the boundaries and i've honestly never seen anything like it i'm a 31 year old woman who rarely uses her phone and certainly doesn't be telling anyone any any of my business yeah being on the phone during dates etc is just rude anyways but i just get dismissed if i mention it this might not be the guy for you i don't think it's the guy for you i feel like i'm fighting against a 19 year old for his attention when i feel like his time with her should be theirs and My time with him should be ours.

59:59I've been going over this. It's like he's in a polyamorous relationship and he's got two wives. You and her. Yeah. I've been going over this for months and months. So intrigued to hear your thoughts. Love always, Sarah. Yeah, I think it's wild. Me too. And the way that is affecting you, Sarah. Yeah. Because it's like you feel like you're competing for his time and his energy. And it's like, it's not your child. you haven't come into this relationship with a 19 year old daughter. That is clearly number one. But that's what's making me think maybe the dad's not around and maybe he does see her as, like he's the father figure.

1:00:39He's the male figure. He doesn't want to put a foot like wrong. But he is pandering to her like it's his niece. I don't know. He's obviously got a real soft spot for her. I don't know what's going on there. But I maybe think this is not the guy for you because you want to be number one. you don't want to feel like his time is divided you don't want to feel like because basically in my eyes this is his daughter this is his 19 year old daughter and would you have dated him when you met if you if you knew he had a daughter maybe not maybe you want a guy who's single who you are top of the list and he's made it clear to you that she is his priority he's literally said well she's been around longer than you have that's literally saying which is like i would fine like yeah she's your family like whatever but okay in that case like i'm gonna go elsewhere yeah and i want to be somewhere where i am a priority yeah um it's interesting that he gets defensive about it and that yes because i just even think like it is just blatant like regardless of the niece and all of that like every single time we're on a date every single time we're hanging out you're constantly on your phone it's bizarre communicating with other people like you're with right now so communicate with me it's very easy for him to set if he is the father figure it's really easy for him to maybe set a boundary be like hey i'm with sarah now i'll chat to you in the afternoon we're just going hiking like that is a very easy thing to do to let her know you know i am i'm you know just gonna be out for a couple hours i'm going to the cinema relax i'll call you later when i'm home whatever and we'll all catch up but like the fact that he can't do that is is yeah and then she gets huffy and he can't seem to navigate navigate that it's like it's like she is controlled she knows how to pull on his strings and he will do anything that she wants him to he will yeah but yeah maybe say to him because this sounds like a deal breaker to me yeah you know like she's not going anywhere that's it she's not going anywhere it's not like it's just his mate a girl mate like this is his niece she's in the home it's the it's the daughter of the same home it does it sounds like it well they're at least like five minutes away from each other yeah so i would i think it's if you don't want to keep dealing with this then you don't have to you just gotta leave the relationship yeah because that that dynamic's not going to change you've tried you've literally tried and you don't want to be competing for his time no exactly because also like if it wasn't his niece it might be something else he's clearly a man who can't set boundaries and can't communicate and can't like put his time aside and put things on hold like to have time with you and to make an effort with you.

1:03:11to them really is he? No. Because he can't communicate to her not communicating to you very well he's getting very defensive dismissive yeah huffing like that's not nice energy but oh yeah that's an interesting I enjoyed that read yeah we went through many different emotions there yeah we did

1:03:36okay right we're going to end on this one i fear this is also kind of something new i think it is how do i ask my housemate if brian can move in with us i don't know if he can sarah but it's good that you're considering asking because some people don't just do it yeah and they just do it and all of a sudden this boy's pants are on my clothes horse and their washing machine i feel like food's in the fridge a lot of the time it's like he's got his gross meal prep out of the fridge he's lost his job can he just like um move in for a couple of weeks while he just finds his feet um and then yeah he's boiling eggs and fucking cooking boiled rice yeah and slouching all over my sofa watching football man's spread yeah like i don't want the football on i don't want no okay let's see what we've got here then i'm from england and i moved to another city We have never had an email first line saying I'm from England.

1:04:28But I love that. So I'm moved to another city about two hours from home. Okay, so let's say we've moved from Manchester to Birmingham. About four years ago. On my first day, I met a friend, Sarah, and we've been very close ever since. We work for the same company, but based in different offices. So we didn't really see each other daily. however we have kept in close contact usually speaking every day and meeting up for coffees and nights out every so often this august sarah and i moved in together as we were both coming to the end of our leases with other housemates our house is perfect but getting the lease was tough as sarah was away traveling most of the summer i took the lead on applying for all the properties and attending majority of the viewings frequently having to get out of work to do so this was a really stressful period for me as i had to as i had around two weeks to move out of my previous house when we were offered the lease meaning i was two weeks away from being homeless so getting this lease was such a way off yeah as i said the house is perfect it's in a great area really quiet not a lot of renters live here it's mostly owner-occupied which makes it so homely and it's a very sought after place to live wow good postcode sarah and i are perfect housemates We both enjoy the same things.

1:05:45Getting up early, Pilates, gym, coffee, walks. We both just love an early night and the occasional night out. And we just generally work very well together in the home. That makes me happy. That's really good. We both have the same level of cleanliness and generosity. So things run smoothly. Oh, so it's like my milk is your milk. Yeah. My soup is your soup. That's lovely. Yeah, I use my shampoo. Yeah, you can have some nuts. Yeah, don't worry. Okay, so that's working really well. Good. For some context, I met my Brian in May. 2025, on a girl's trip to Ireland. He's Irish and lives in Ireland. Ireland.

1:06:20Maybe he's moving over. Okay. The night we met was so much fun and we kept in contact. I thought I would have met an Irishman. Only two weeks later, he flew over to visit me. To be honest, at first, you know, I was in my single era and thought it would just be a bit of a fling. But we clicked so well and planned to see each other again in August, which was months away at the time. However, we ended up flying back and forth to see each other frequently all summer. I met his parents We had the best time And he asked me to be his girlfriend in September He's amazing And everything a girl could ask for I've never been with someone who treats me so well I know he is the one Okay, so you're locked in with Brian We've both been doing long distance very well since the start We've both been, you know, great texters We call each other a lot You know, communication's not an issue We spent two and a bit weeks together over Christmas Making it difficult to go back to the long distance arrangement Oh, you guys Apart from this, everything has been perfect My friends and family love him.

1:07:14We tell each other everything, yada, yada, yada. Brian and I have talked about moving in. Oh, Brian and I have talked about moving for each other. So you going to Ireland maybe, him coming to England. After discussion, we both decided it does make more sense for him to move to me. Okay. That's a win for you, Sarah. I thought you were pretty chuffed at that outcome. He would be able to walk into a well-paying job very easily over here. and there are just a lot of other reasons why him moving here makes much more sense. Although Brian doesn't know anyone here and has absolutely no ties. So he is solely moving for me.

1:07:54Brian and Sarah get along very well as he has been staying at our house when he's been over for the weekends. So they have created, you know, a nice little bond. They even send each other, you know, funny memes and funny pictures of me. And they have their own private jokes. Nice. Brian has even assisted me in giving Sarah boy advice. You know, she'll often ask me, what does Brian think? Nice, nice. Mutual respect. Now for the dilemma. Our lease comes to an end in August again, and we're hoping the landlord will extend it for another year. Okay. My Brian hopes to move across around this time, and it would ideally make sense for him to just move in with us.

1:08:32As I said before, he doesn't know anyone else in the city. I also don't want to stress again this summer of trying to find another property for me and Brian. understand yeah i don't want to move out of my house it's perfect i love it so much and i feel like i really was the one that found it i only recently mentioned to sarah that brian wanted to move here within the year just so it was on her radar okay but i don't know how to ask her if she would be okay with him moving in with us god yeah obviously it would make the rent cheaper for both of us true i didn't even consider that that's a win actually yeah that's a win um that's actually a win she does get along great with brian yeah but i don't want her to feel uncomfortable or feel as if she has to say yes yeah i'm honestly not sure what her thoughts would be but brian has already spoken to his parents and his employer about moving so i feel like i need to do it soon i would rather the conversation naturally come up so she wouldn't feel like i was officially asking her.

1:09:32Just kind of like, how would you feel? How to. I would completely understand if she wasn't okay with it, which makes it even more difficult for me to ask again because if she said no, you know, I would be thinking, well, fair enough. I just don't know where that leaves us. Any advice would be greatly appreciated. Yeah. I mean, what you've got to consider is Sarah did not sign up to live with a couple. No. There's a big difference from living with your bestie and her boyfriend popping around at the weekends oh but yeah Brian's around for a couple nights you know yeah to then yeah living with a couple full time yes the only like I feel like what we've had a lot on the pod before is girls being like he just won't leave like he's he's he won't get out the fucking way he's here all the time so at least this is more of like a formal invite you're being very respectful you're also because usually like he's staying around for free he's staying around four nights a week he's not contributing he's using my milk and he's always he's gonna move it and not pay rent you know but you're being very at least this is more of like a formal invitation like look it will be the landlord born there'll be three of us here it's gonna be splitting it by three yada yada yada but she has every right to say no and she might well do she might well want to say no she might feel like she can't say no because she doesn't want it to be awkward because it's just that simple thing of like I mean, listen, she might be very relaxed.

1:10:56She might be so here for it. She might be. You just got to ask her because you're never going to know what her stance is. Yeah. You know, she does like Brian, but does she want to live with Brian? What I would say, maybe what I would advise you to do is I think you need to have the conversation because like time is ticking. And I think giving people more time is always the best way to go. It's got till August. And I would just say like, I wanted to ask you about something. I don't want you to respond now. Yeah. I want you to have a week and think about it it's nice like there is absolutely no pressure from me like but obviously Brian's moving over here he's moving over here for me you know we did even speak about me moving to Ireland can you imagine that crazy but he's actually going to move here I was thinking it would be really nice if he moved in with here you know I know we love this area it's a great house I think we have the space obviously then the rent would be cheaper for us um yada yada yada but I know that you didn't sign up to live with a couple and I want you to know like there's no hard feelings for me either way like I totally get it you may not want to live with a couple you know there's no hard feelings I know you love him and you know blah blah blah but just I want you to think about it don't don't respond right now exactly that I'm going out to get a coffee do you want one don't respond right now like we'll think about it maybe next weekend let's regroup this is stuff she needs to think about it spoken and spoken about because she might say because in the moment she might be like oh yeah that's fine and then she might be like oh no i don't really want that like just don't let her answer even if she says oh my god of course yeah love that just say okay just just say just think about it and let me know in a week because and then she says yes great just gives her time to genuinely think yeah and then if she's not into it then you guys all need to sit down and just discuss okay what's going to be the plan then for august yeah is sarah gonna have to move out and then brian moves in so that you can stay in this home or we're gonna have to find somewhere else and i know it's stressful strangers it's brian living with strangers but then they're so in love they want to live together you know moving for you right yeah um then you all need to have the all these big conversations because you can't leave poor sarah in the lurch but all right well sarah we're moving out then but the good thing is like it's february you've got it's not happening till august so i think try it like you need to do it now we've got a good five months give people okay because the last thing you want is for this to be a stressful rushed last minute like we don't want it to be you know june and then it's like oh fuck now i'm really stuck and we don't want sarah to think like oh i wasn't i wasn't aware i didn't realize we've only got a month like oh my god i'm gonna have to live who am i gonna live with then you know and or or she has to agree to it and she doesn't want to because oh I haven't got time to I've got no choice but yeah you're going about it in a really good way you're being really considerate you're being really respectful just have that hard conversation say it how exactly Sophia said it and there's going to be no problems you'll be able to work your way around it whatever outcome is going to happen yeah you know but you're going about a really nice way good luck Sarah it's not like oh he's just going to move in for a couple of weeks while he finds a place no he never leaves that's such a grey area and that's when it starts to really bug you because it's like what the fuck the relationship's gonna break down like between the friends because you've moved he's moved here under the guise that he the false pretenses the false pretenses that he's finding a place yeah but meanwhile it's been three months and he's not paid any rent and he's eating my milk yeah eating my milk yeah he's eating the milk right let's finish with our star of the week absolutely ladies and gentlemen this week guys we have got here I've put my Brian forward he's an absolute gem we've been together for nearly seven years and it feels like forever and so new in the honeymoon stage at the same time.

1:14:39Shut up after seven years you guys. We're best friends he makes me feel so loved every single day when I get ready he will say how nice I look even on the chill no makeup days makes me feel so beautiful. For my Brian it's the little things every day and can we tell the girlies this is the bare minimum please don't settle girls I had to kiss a few frogs to find my prince but your time will come. Just to finish because I know some people like the big gestures when he temporarily moved away for work for four months around six months after we met he planned a surprise to come home and see me he wrote my bestie into it and pretended I was meeting one of them for food but really he was sat at the table waiting for me he also bought flights and planned for me to visit him over a weekend granted we didn't get to do it because of lockdown but the thought was there don't worry we managed to move our flight so they didn't go to waste I had a gorgeous trip so we've got a we've got a Brian here we've got Laurence Brian here who was just making a lot of effort for the two of them and we're getting a lot of compliments and we're getting a lot of acts of service and that's what we like.

1:15:38That's the only thing we will settle for. Thank you, Brian, for all of the effort that you put into your relationship. Oh, and blueberries awake. Good morning, blueberry. What's the word in the nick? In the nick of time. Absolutely. She's up. She knows the drill. All right, guys. Thank you so much for listening to this week's episode. We love you so much. If you would like a bonus episode, you can get one every single Monday over on Patreon. We have two episodes a week. Absolutely. you can follow us on Instagram YouTube and on TikTok thank you and you can email your dilemmas and star of the week entries to hello at thegirlsbathroom.com email have a good week guys bye bye bye bye bye bye bye

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