Girl Talk: It’s been a year…do I carry on trying?

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0:48But when I want more coverage, I'm reaching for the Hourglass Vanish Concealer every time. I know I'm not the only one who struggled to find the right foundation or concealer shade, which is why I always shop at Sephora. They have the best brands all in one place with so many shades, coverage options and finishes, plus expert beauty advisors, free samples and shade matching tools both online and in-store. So whether you're looking for barely there coverage or full glam, Sephora can help you find your match. I forgot to tell you what happened to me yesterday. Oh no. I've never experienced anything like this.

1:22I literally walked past a man in the park and I heard him shit. i've never heard anything like this in my life i was walking past this man i walked into the park this guy walked past me i didn't really notice him and then i literally heard the biggest like bum explosion hey i literally heard him shit himself and i was like oh my god and i turned around like oh my god who was that and then he turned around at me and what like And I was like, I've never heard a noise like it. It was so squelchy and it was so loud.

2:12Happy Wednesday. Hi everyone, I'm wearing turquoise today. I'm wearing white. We're very much in our, this is very Mamma Mia of us. We're in our floaty, easy breezy era. And do you know what day it was yesterday? August 4th. What a night. Dot, dot, dot. Yeah, what a night. Wait, I thought it was July 17th or it was like July something. Oh, well, there's another one where she's like, August 4th. What a night. Dot, dot, dot. And that was yesterday. Dot, dot, dot. What a great film Mamma Mia is. I feel like I should probably re-watch that actually quite soon. Right, my mic is escaping me. Uh-oh.

2:56yeah we're big mamma mia fans well this is very mamma mia just do you remember when we went this is actually a big recommendation from us the mamma mia experience where is my god do you know who's doing it now who so you're not seeing it on the billboards peter andre you're joking yeah who's he playing he's playing the main guy feelings about peter yeah i'm not sure about mr andre but um obviously you know he's got at least he's still working he's got some work who's he playing the main guy wait on broadway or on the experience no and the experience but it was a super young man well isn't he a bit old to be playing okay maybe he's playing the older guy i don't know i can't remember the dad of some sort you reckon i don't know i thought isn't he too old to be playing the love interest no he's gonna be playing the heart drop sophia because all the ladies love peter andre all the mums don't they and they're all going to remember the demograph when we went i do i do yeah and they're it was they're all there for peter andre what a night it was a fantastic evening let us know it actually was and it was it was it was very immersive immersive you have a meal you're watching the show it's not exactly the same as the film but it's a similar like the food was fine we had like floor seats absolutely fine yeah we had those really nice drinks what did we have yeah they had this they were like it was like a something a lovely you do get free wine but it wasn't that great so we had to add on the bonus we had to pay extra for the cocktails but it was worth it we got on the stage at the end cocktails really worked yeah it was so much fun yeah at the end we were brought up onto the stage we're boogieing in front of everyone.

4:31And it's like all the sound of like crickets and it's warm in there. Like you really do feel like you're in Greece. It's actually a great - I would go back to that. I would definitely go back to it. And there's another famous lady doing it with Peter Andre because when I've been in the cabs, it's been on the back of the chairs. Oh, I've not seen it. And it's Peter Andre and another lady that they're advertising. So obviously she's famous too. Have you ever seen Mamma Mia on the West End? Yeah. I've never seen it. Yeah. Years and years. Do you know what? This is actually really weird because I drove past it on my way in.

4:58I drove past it today. I always drive past it. It was fine. And I was like, oh, I've never gone to see that. I should probably go. Yeah, it's a good feel good one. Is it? Yeah. It wasn't, it's not my favorite one though. Okay, you didn't rewatch. No, but that was years and years and years ago. I think I've been twice. Where have you been? Oh, I've been with an ex-boyfriend. Oh. That's why I've been. Well, you know, we can rewrite the memory. Absolutely. You can go with me instead. Rewrite the stars, if you will. But the lady on the Mamma Mia, she's brunette and it just kind of throws me off. Yeah, but it's not her.

5:29that's just the poster oh i thought she was the star she's just been the poster for years and years and years i thought that today i thought god she's had this gig for a long time yeah yeah for some reason that's just the poster okay but it is a different actress one thing that you have not been to that i think you probably would really enjoy is abba voyage really though it is i'm not sure i can immerse but i because i'm like i'm just like they're not real no like it is amazing i went last summer with mom and dad i think it was last summer i might be in summer before and i was picturing them i think it was a summer before was it yeah and it's like these hologram it's like this holographic experience i was picturing them to be like those star wars things that are like stood still and they like flash in and out they are like moving their hair swaying they're like and i was like oh my god like it is it's just it's amazing it's so good and it's like it is the whole time you're like how are they not there like it looks so real and we sat this is a tip for anyone going to abba voyage isn't it stopped no but it won't last forever like it's gonna move on they were like this is gonna end it is coming to an end but you can still it's still there oh okay but it's not gonna be here for like 10 more years it is coming to an end but um the tip is apparently because i sat down apparently that's the best viewing point because you can stand like on the floor but apparently if you get too close it's a bit like you can really lose the illusion so if you do fancy getting some tickets get seated tickets oh and you just stay sat you stay sat oh you do you do no one stands up because i was thinking please don't everyone stand up i was like brilliant everyone stayed sat it was so good it's all the oldies isn't it yeah yeah but the music's great it was brilliant i really think you should give it a go really i just don't know if i could have missed but i think i just put it oh it's a hologram yeah you obviously know it's a hologram like they're not trying like you know that but but it's like wow the power of a hologram you know of a show is like oh my god they're right there but you feel like they're right there you're like oh my god but then i'm just like hologram hologram yeah i know but like ai ai lean in have some fun yeah yeah i'm loose i'm loose i mean my loose top you know very yeah i'm just saying it's great well maybe uh for mom's birthday seriously i think well actually for her birthday i'm buying her eyebrow micro needling yeah yes yeah yeah yeah she's gonna like that she's wanted it for years wow she's got very sparse brows anyway well it's because they were in the era where they plucked them all out because fiona's also got sparse eyebrows really yeah and they just never grew back this is why i need to get my trick of whatever it's whatever i do under control because if i take this into my older age i will have no eyebrows left yeah because i did fuck this eyebrow up really bad last week and it's not recovered yeah chintzy pulls her eyebrow hairs out yeah there is a name for it yeah but But isn't it fascinating that I've done it since school.

8:40Always, yeah, I know. Like - And it's just like, why? I don't know. It's just, I just do it in 30 minutes of stress. And then I just snap out of it. It's like a 30 minutes of stress thing. I would really struggle to. Yeah, it will. It makes me feel like - I could do it right now for you. No, like I can't either thought of that. I'm like, ooh. There's something really satisfying. Yeah, stop it, come on. about and then I just see the hairs in my hand and I'm like oh no. I love it. It's like. But it's always that eyebrow isn't it? You will because this is my dominant hand. But when I've gone overboard then I will go to this one.

9:18Yeah. But this one like just got one out there. Well they look great. Thank you. Eyebrow pencil are magic and talents. So Angie's getting a eyebrow tattoo. Yeah she's very excited about that. Yeah. She's actually wanted it for years but you know when it's something that she'll just speak about. It's not their generation is it? It's been so long and she doesn't know where to go. She doesn't really know. So, yeah. Happy birthday. Well, I've got me drink line up today. I'll talk you through. Me too, me too. We've both got the DYS, which I'm almost finished, Sophia's. I'm just taking it slow. I've got me water.

9:50I've got my water. And I've got my perfect Ted vanilla matcha latte in a can if I fancy it. We're on the can vibe, aren't we? Yeah. Oh yeah, pop those are open for us. Oh. Ooh, Roof is there. That's good. Wait, let me pop mine open. Shake gently. Yeah, I shook.

10:16Ooh. Release. Release me. Delicious. Right, let's, happy Wednesday, everyone. Welcome back. Let's dive into the episode, shall we? What crimes are we solving today? Oh, goodness me, goodness me. It is girl talk. But first of course, what do we have Chintz? Oh, a question of the week. A question of the week. What's your party trick that never fails to surprise people? I know what mine is. I know what yours is too. Sorry, my tongue is like orange. The cobra. I've never been able to do it. I've not pulled that move in a long, long, long time. That was always Chintz's lunch table trick. At least I've still got it.

11:02I've never been able to do it. At least I've still got it. I've never been able to do it. All I can do is this. And even that is weak. Even that she's not very strong at that, unfortunately. But you've got other strengths. Not everyone can - I don't think I've got a party trick. Can you do the splits? Can you do a crab? Oh yes, I can do a crab. I was very good at crabs at school. I actually have really had the urge to want to do a crab. Like now. Okay, yeah. Not right this moment, but in my adult age. When you go to the gym, they have those big bouncy balls. Just roll your back over that ball.

11:35Okay. And you think I've got the confidence to do that on my own in the gym. Yeah. Yeah. Stop rolling. Rolling. Rolling all over on the back. The man at the gym. See, this is right. This is actually bad. It's one of the reasons I've stopped going to the gym is because this man on the desk. Oh, I hate the people on the desk. And it's actually like. Stop talking to me. And yesterday he spoke to me and I can't even speak on it because I don't want him to see. But like, stop speaking to me. I'm so sorry. Actually, please. Oh. because I had my red dress on. You went to the gym in a red dress? No, I was walking past.

12:04Red dress. Oh, you're walking past. I was like, wow, I love your dress. It's my favorite color. And I was like, what? I think I'm mad at the gym. This is you. I was literally like, please stop, please stop. I was like, this is the reason. This is the reason. And I was just like, please. Well, how old is he? I don't even want to speak on it. Okay. Because I don't want him to see it. Well, I remember at our old gym when he'd be like, I can offer you girls some joint training sessions. And we'd be like, no. Go away. Also, like, if I was to get a personal trainer, it would be a woman, not you. Yeah, it ain't gonna be you, honey.

12:39Anyway, honey. So, yeah, why did I say that? I don't know. Yeah, so you think I'm gonna be doing that in the gym when he's wandering about? Oh, I see, I see, yeah, sorry. You come over and freaking - Never mind. Fucking hell. But anyway, yeah, in my comfort of my own flat, I just wanna prove to myself that I can do a crab. You can still do a crab. Also, I need to like get ahead on this hunch that I'm starting to get. No, I am hunchy McHunch. Because - Like I honestly, all I get fed on TikTok is about posture and hunching and back straps. Sophia, I've got a lump. And I've got a lump. And all I see is girls being like, my shoulders are pointing forward and I'm like, mine are pointing forward.

13:14It's our ballet posture is completely gone. Like we need help. We just need to get one of those things. But don't you find it almost like really uncomfortable to be like really good posture? And that's not good. but that's not but we need to allow we need to go to yoga or something we need to fix it we need a back strap is what we need yeah sorry me bruise hair was out right party tricks i can unbutton trousers with my feet whoa that's a talent oh a boy at school always used to do this and i hated it eyelid thing the eyelid thing i can turn my eyelids inside out i can lick my elbow i can right upside down.

13:52Lick elbow right upside down. Wow. I can dislocate my shoulders. I can jump into the splits. I've got two webbed toes. The same boy at school - We knew a boy, yeah. Had the webbed toes. The same boy at school. The same boy who turned his eyelids inside out also had the webbed toes. He had webbed toes and webbed fingers. So when he was born, he had them all cut. So that's why he had scars on his fingers and toes. But I thought that was very cool. I thought it was cool, quite rugged. Yeah, quite sexy. It's quite Spider-Man of him. Do you know what I mean? Like Superman. Yeah. But they weren't webbed, they were just stuck.

14:26I heard. Or were they actually webbed? I heard they were stuck and then they became webbed. Oh, even more sexy. Yeah.

14:39I can play Jingle Bells on the harmonica. That was cute. Very cool. I can play Three Blind Mice on the flute. Very, very cool. There you go. You see, you do have a party trick. My friend can peel a banana with her foot. Some people are very nifty with their feet. I can fit my whole fist in my mouth. Wow. Wow, that's a big mouth. Really? Wow, someone in the room can. Shut up. Someone in the room can. I can get both of my feet behind my head. Wow. Wow, Yogi. I can move my second toe up and down independently without the others. Wow. I can move my big toe, but not my second toe. I think most people can do the big, right?

15:18Oh, okay, my bad. I'm just practicing. I can fit my mouth around the top of a Prosecco glass and down it in one. Nice. Like an open throat kind of situation. We could probably do that. No, it's like when, you remember when that boy at school, like you open your throat and just like the whole drink goes down. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh. It's not like a chug. It's like a... Oh, oh, oh, oh. I can say the alphabet backwards. Wow. That's a skill. Why don't you have a go? Z-X-W-Y-H. Is that right? That was my H. my initials are next to each other in the alphabet wow you are too CB oh no wrong way I can move each butt cheek on its own same I learnt how to twerk recently I think I'm actually going to be learning at home

16:08got a bit of movement god the neighbours are just having a great time soon I'm not going to have neighbours which is good No one's going to be able to see it into my abode. I will. Shake those bones, girl. But my dog's asleep right now. I can do the worm. That's a talent. That's really cool. Did you see that girl on TikTok who learned how to do the worm on TikTok? She had a week to learn it for her friend's wedding and she learned it so that she could do it on the dance floor. I felt like you need a lot of upper body strength. Yeah, she was in the gym. Yeah, you've got to be like, henched to actually like pull yourself up like that.

16:42This lady, she was going to the gym every day just to do the worm. Only for a week. That was quick. She nailed it. Wow. She got it. Yeah, she got it. The adrenaline really took over. I can neck fart. Oh, is that when you do that thing? Oh, yeah. Yeah. I can move my tongue. I can scratch my throat. Right. You see, she sits here and she's like, I've got no talents. I've got no special talents. Now people are saying stuff. And now she's got lives. Now people are saying stuff. It's reminding me of stuff. Can you scratch your throat? It's the best feeling. If you've got an itch in your throat. I think that was it.

17:17It's so good. Don't you do it when you're like you're ill and you're trying to like clear, you know, something out. It's just if you got a scratch. Right. And finally here we've got, I can make my tongue into the shape of a clover. Same. That's Chintzy Bela Sillo. Gorgeous. Right, let's dive in you guys. Do you want to take it away, Denzel? Oh, guess what? I also overheard at the gym this morning. Do you sleep with your wind? I guess it's not relevant, but I literally overheard a girl today. I would sleep with my window open if I had the choice because I like the fresh air. Well, be warned. Oh.

17:52It wouldn't really work for you anyway unless like foxes can start like scaling buildings. Oh God. I literally heard a girl at the gym today say, I woke up last night and there was a fox on my bed. That is very scary. And I was like, I was listening like, what? And she was, she wasn't talking to me. I thought they were too scared of humans. Not these like jungle, urban jungle city foxes. They're very brave. So she, what I'm assuming is she, her front window, she must, her bedroom must be on the ground floor. You could have ate her alive. She had her window open. It obviously climbed in. She was like, I woke up and there was a fox staring at me on my bed.

18:29How mental is that? No, I don't, that's very, very scary. She seemed quite calm and I was like, whoa. She must like live and breathe the indoor, outdoor thing. Oh, we're going to play the word game. We've been avoiding it for weeks. Sophia's name word was fox. Right, we're playing the word game. We're locking back in. Let the anxiety commence. Still don't know if I like this game or not. That's impossible, ladies. Rosie, I don't even know how to pronounce that. Right, I'm not playing. Okay, I do actually know what that word is.

19:08Okay. Okay, I've never heard of that word before. I'm going to lock in. Sophia, you did English lit. You should know all the words. I got a D. Ah, okay. That's really hard. Let me actually just learn what this word means. I mean, the word applies to us both, actually. Really? Yeah.

19:34Okay, I think that's going to go in one ear and out the other. but in the spirit i'll definitely try and play along try your very best

19:47just before we get into it quick disclaimer just as we are not doctors we are not professionals we do not actually know what we are talking about this is a light-hearted space okay don't take what we say literally because we could be wrong yeah and if there's anything serious if there's anything you feel like you're seriously struggling with please contact a gp a professional because that is not us we're just girls girls and boys just like you we're just trying to get through life as well not professionals enjoy the episode okay right it's girl talk welcome back everyone let's dive in dilemma number one do i tell my girlfriend her sister tried to kiss me wait wait say that again sorry girlfriend do so this is like mariana's boyfriend asking us Do I tell Mariana that Chintzia has tried to kiss me?

20:37Whoa, that's intense Do I tell, I'm assuming So is this a Brian or another Sarah we've got here? I don't know It could be either I guess Do I tell my girlfriend her sister tried to kiss me? Do I tell my girlfriend? Yeah, got it I'll get straight into it My girlfriend, let's call her Sarah and I Have been together for two years And we've lived together for a year This all started back on our very first date We met for some drinks and the drinks really kept flowing. I ended up going back with her on the train to her parents' house where I met her two sisters. And we ended up all going out together.

21:13A very successful, fun first date. Sarah and her sisters, let's call them Susan and Helen, are really close and do everything together. So I just went along with it. We got along so well on that date. Like we'd known each other for years. And her sisters were really lovely as well. We had some drinks in their family home and this is where it all started. it started back way back then like first date territory yeah fuck when sarah and i were messaging before meeting we'd call and voice note all the time and she'd tell me what's going on in her life for example susan and her boyfriend were going through a breakup and i was hearing all this awful stuff that he'd done to her so i had this in mind when meeting the sisters yeah and sure enough when the drinks were flowing even more susan got talking about this boy and all the things that he'd done and I could tell she was feeling low so I was trying to big her up and make her feel like she doesn't need that man you know I was saying things like Susan you're so fit you could do so much better than him you could get anyone yeah now words like fit and unreal are words that me and my friends use to each other and I didn't think too much of this yes okay yeah it's in your uh what's just in your vocab what was the word we learned at school colloquialism or something.

22:26Do you remember that word we learned? That's a very big word for a very little lady. Colloquialism. That's a very big word, isn't it?

22:38It's just weird, isn't it? That's such a big word. Do you want to call it? I don't think you'd be brave enough.

22:50but I don't I don't get it I don't lose anything if I call it out and just make sure no you don't was that your word no colloquialism on the ball is that the right word I don't know I don't think so what's the word when it's like it's in your friendship you use the word vernacular what's What the hell is colloquialism? Where have I got that from? From colonial times. Slang. Colloquialism is slang. Okay. The night carried on. We went out, had a great time and ended up staying at the family home. Before going home the next day, I was telling my sisters all about the date. We're both one of three girls and saying how much I really liked.

23:29That's nice. That is nice. Saying how much I really liked Sarah's sisters and how I was really bigging Susan up, thinking that I was impressing Sarah by being kind to her sister. Yeah. However, after the date, I felt Sarah become more distant. And when I questioned her about this, she responded with, she'd been chatting with her sisters and Susan had mentioned that I'd been flirting with her. Susan is also bisexual. So we've got a bisexual lady writing in and Sarah's, her girlfriend's sister is also bisexual. So Sarah is the lady that we're chatting to. Yeah. And she was being off that night. And she said, well, I was chatting to Susan, my sister.

24:08and she said you were flirting with her when really you were just trying to big her up. After a breakup. After a breakup, you were just trying to embody her? Empower her. Empower her. And Sarah thought it was best to just call things off. As Susan said, she felt like I was more into her. This shocked me as it wasn't the case at all. And I'd only said those few things to her in a group to try and bring her up about this boy. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I explained this to Sarah and we did end up going on more dates and four months later we made it official. Right. Okay. So that was something, a little hiccup at the beginning, but you got over it, you clarified.

24:44But I guess very important to note because what was Susan's intentions there? Because also she knew you weren't flirting with her. Yeah. Did she just want you guys to call it off? Was she trying to sabotage a little bit? Because she felt a bit jealous and wanted a slice. So everything was going so well. We'd moved on from the flirting comments from Susan and I actually spoke to Susan about it and everything was left as a misunderstanding. Okay, good. As our relationship became closer, I also became closer to Susan and Helen, our sister-in-laws. We're all very similar and I would go out for coffee, lunches, drinks with Susan on my own as we were the same age.

25:22But also that's so fun because like your partner has sisters, you've got sisters, like we can all be mates and hang out. Like that's so much fun. This was in a sister-in-law friends vibe completely and never anything more. Yeah. After Sarah and I moved in together as the perfect house in the perfect area came up, I started seeing Sarah's sisters less as we now lived an hour away. So you weren't going to the family home anymore? Yeah. This is when things started to take a turn. Susan started telling Sarah things that weren't true, like that I used to flirt with her when we went out alone, that she always felt like we had a vibe.

25:57And Sarah questioned me about this. I told her it was completely untrue. Sarah believed me and said that Susan has always wanted attention. and when things weren't going to her plan in her life, she felt like sometimes she had to derail others. And that this behavior is not uncommon. It's very like middle sister or little sister coded and indirect to my sister. This was so difficult. I've never had anyone lie about things like this about me, especially my supposedly sister-in-law who I value so much. Also like we were hanging out. Yeah, I was trying to make a really good bond with you. Like this is important to me.

26:34friends who were hanging out like we just go get coffee like it's very scary that she would then twist that and also sabotage her own sister's relationship as well but yeah sarah and susan had lots of fallouts over this and their relationship became really distant which was really sad to see as they were all so close i know it obviously affected sarah and she was feeling low about the arguments i also felt really guilty and felt as if it was somehow my fault for getting in the middle of them yeah um so i pushed sarah and susan to sort things out and over time they did and for the last six months everything was back to normal and nothing was mentioned again susan and i have got a good friendship again although i do keep my distance to some extent this brings me to over two and a half years on fucking hell this okay so that was basically all the background of the situation.

27:27It's just like you've shown the examples. And now this is the final paragraph where she's obviously trying to kiss you. This weekend, I went to a - It all makes sense because it's like, well, you were just in love with me then. Yeah. Anyway, yeah. The signs were there from the beginning. Yeah. But also, you're better off just keeping me close like as a friend. Right. Because otherwise, you're just going to lose it. Like, do you know what I mean? Like, you're going to lose your sister and Maeve. You're trying to snog Mae. This weekend, I went to a wedding with Sarah and her family and during the night, Susan and I went to the bathroom drunk together and she tried to kiss me.

28:00I obviously rejected her and quickly swerved and she got very embarrassed and clicked out of her drunken giggly state and ran out the bathroom. She ended up going home saying she felt unwell. I've been feeling so awful and guilty about this as I haven't told my girlfriend. I don't want to cause any more fallouts between the sisters and everything was going so well. I also feel like Susan is embarrassed and regrets this. We haven't spoken about it since. And I'm worried to bring up any more family confrontation. So my dilemma is, do I tell Sarah that Susan tried to kiss me or do I forget about this to save both Sarah and Susan's feelings?

28:38These are the three gorgeous girls. Look at these lot. Oh my God. And that must be Susan. Right, this is very, very messy. This is like an episode of Euphoria. Well, the thing is, you don't want, it's that thing like, or the truth always comes out. So it's like if you hide it and you don't mention it, it kind of makes you look guilty. And then Sarah, like, the only thing I'm worried about is, the only thing I'm worried about is Susan coming out and saying, you tried to kiss me. I don't know what you're talking about. That's why I left. Susan is unpredictable. Because you tried to kiss me. Yeah.

29:10If I know Susan well enough, I know when she's fucked up, the only way she knows how to get out of it is to lie, lie, lie, lie, lie. Yeah. You did it, you did it, you did it. And to put blame. to put blame, Susan's going to conjure up some sort of magical plan that she thinks is going to get her out of it. Yeah. And she's going to put all the blame on you and therefore ruin your relationship again for the third time. Susan's lied about enough. She's not going to be honest about this when she's really done something wrong. So I think you just need to, you're in a loving, healthy, open and honest relationship.

29:45I think you're just going to tell your partner because otherwise it's going to come out in an ugly, ugly, ugly way. and it doesn't necessarily mean need to be like you could even just say to your partner like look i want to tell you this i don't need you to act on this i don't need you to do anything like it's very clear that she regrets it she ran away like i mean the problem is is i just need you to know that like this tried yeah i mean the problem is it's like imagine i had a mythical partner absolutely and blueberry's dad blueberry's daddy and they came to me being like lydia tried to kiss do you think i'm gonna not act on that i'm absolutely no because this is such a different backstory yeah yeah yeah these guys yeah yeah yeah but let's let's say we were in that position yeah and lydia had been acting like this which she usually does and then that i got told that it would be world war three but i think you're just telling the truth you can't like this this has happened at the end of the day it's out of your hands at that point yeah you tell the truth to your partner yeah and then the chips are gonna fall where they may yeah and and you don't have to phrase you you can let her know like she she she was drunk um she instantly left instantly you know regretted it obviously it kind of maybe explain like i do think it kind of explains her behavior over these years she must have had a bit of a crush on me and i hope it all starts to make sense for you now sarah because you know it was never me and you realize always hot piece of stuff that you've got yeah you've got this hot piece of kit here a lot of people want this sarah don't forget it this is hot commodity yeah you know and but yeah you just gotta tell the truth otherwise i'm worried that it's gonna come out in the wrong way you're not gonna have control of the narrative and susan is gonna spin a web that you're just gonna end up looking really bad because susan could start telling the family members, oh, Sarah's trying to kiss me.

31:40Yeah. She could start spinning it as soon as she wants. But equally, if you and Susan keep it a secret and then let's say it comes out two years later, it looks way worse. It looks like you guys are having a fucking affair. It does. It does. Or it looks like to Susan that you liked it and maybe you want her to do it again because you've not called her out. Do you know what I mean? You're so right. We're just going to tell the truth. I know. All that wisdom thing. Just going to tell the truth. good luck Sarah that is I mean I do not have drama like that in my life and I would not want that drama the drama is never ending don't let it get to you the drama's never ending don't let it get to you

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33:55okay dilemma number two it's the year anniversary of being ghosted by my best friend oh my oh this is a length oh my god this is long okay hi girls oh i feel quite sad and confused writing this email sorry i just have to tell you something right she's just said she's sad and confused and sophia's laughing can you not control yourself lady i just realized i forgot to tell you what yesterday oh no i've never experienced anything like this i literally walked past a man in the park and i heard him shit i heard him i've never heard anything like this in my life i was walking past this man i walked into the park this guy walked past me i didn't really notice him and then i literally heard the biggest like bum explosion hey i literally heard him shit himself out and I was like oh my god and I turned around like oh my god who was that and then he turned around at me and what like and I was like I've never heard a noise like it was so squelching it was so loud and he was just like a man walking maybe in like his 50s he had like no top on these like cargo shorts and I was like oh my god like I can hear it now in my mind it was like the biggest squelch wet just and i was like oh my god your ass has just exploded that's fucking disgusting have you seen that man on tiktok who shit himself and he had shit all down his leg all on his bum and he was stood there and he didn't know it happened no it literally happened to you once oh yeah uh literally he's got shit all down his leg it's like a sagging into his bum and he's talking to his friend and he's in a festival oh it's disgusting maybe he was on drugs yeah unaware of his bodily fluids and controls right i feel quite sad and confused writing this email but don't know what else to do long-term listener here and i can't believe i'm actually writing in myself but here we go sorry a bit of a carrot but get your burp out before you start sorry I've known Sarah for quite a few years She originally went Out with my husband's brother Okay But I became friends with her In her own right Really early on Okay so that's kind of how you met But then We clicked instantly She is such a lovely and funny person And we became close About four years ago While planning my wedding I asked her to be one of my bridesmaids A while before we got married Just over two years ago She actually split up with my brother-in-law But we spoke about it and agreed that their relationship ending Wouldn't affect ours Okay My first observation here Is that She just merely associates you With her ex-boyfriend Yeah Because like you're with his brother And she just associates you with that kind of period of her life It's also just tricky to be genuinely like So what you been up to?

37:08Where you going? Like what you doing? like well because all I'm hearing about is your husband who is you know I'm probably like my ex is probably in your plan somewhere and like maybe you're going on holiday as a thought I don't know like there's just a lot of information that's gonna feel like unnecessary isn't it yeah and also just stuff that she doesn't want to hear yeah because it's triggering and she's kind of trying to move on with that from that part of her life that was for whatever reason and Yeah, so I sympathize with her right now. Yeah. We don't know the rest of the story. But I understand for you, it's very upsetting because you had a beautiful friendship.

37:52And there's - I see both sides. There's nothing you can really, like if she associates you with her ex, there's nothing you can - Really do about that. I guess it's just time. Anyway, yeah. So this was before the wedding they split up. So maybe she has to go to the - I think we're just about to find out. A while before we got married, which was over two years ago, she actually split up with my brother-in-law. But we spoke about it and agreed that the relationship ending wouldn't affect ours. From my side, it genuinely didn't change anything. She stood beside me on my wedding day and I honestly thought we'd be best friends for life.

38:24Okay, so she went to the wedding and all that. Last summer in July 2025, we were chatting normally and we're supposed to meet up. Then she just stopped replying. At first I wasn't angry because she'd gone quiet for a couple of weeks before So I genuinely thought something might have just happened to her The day before my birthday in August When I was trying to invite her for birthday drinks I became so worried that I messaged her sister Her sister replied saying Sarah had lost her phone Felt terrible and was going to message me on Instagram Okay, she never did I completely understood at the time Because these things happened but weeks became months Blue B I checked in a few more times Nothing I wished her happy birthday in October Nothing I wished her Merry Christmas Is she still with us?

39:13Nothing I asked if she wanted me to stop trying to contact her Nothing It's giving like she's in a cult Seriously I even sent flowers because I genuinely was worried About her well-being with a note saying I'm here when you're ready to reach out And again, nothing the only explanation i've ever been able to come up with is that maybe after the breakup with my brother-in-law she eventually felt she needed to distance herself from the chapter of her life yeah that's what i'm thinking too me too but it's like that is you could say something exactly i think that's completely fair enough if you felt like you needed to distance yourself from our sarah absolutely yeah i probably can all look everyone's going to understand that yeah but all you have to just say it all you have to do is say you just have to say something yeah or just at least because now you're actually you think she's dead yeah she's not i mean like and that and that's even more worrying and then you're overthinking and you know you're over analyzing everything and it's unfair on you if that's genuinely the reason i don't think i'd ever be angry i think i'd understand but surely after years of friendship and asking someone to be a bridesmaid made i deserved an explanation rather than complete silence almost a year later i sent one final message saying I couldn't keep reaching out because it was hurting me too much.

40:29Also, like you're not even blocked. Like these are delivering. The double ticks are going through. I told her I was pregnant and that there have been so many moments over the last year, both wonderful and incredibly difficult, that I'd wanted to share with her. I said I didn't understand what had happened, but if I didn't hear back, I'd have to assume that she no longer wanted our friendship. She still did not reply. Wow. There's been no falling out, no argument, no drama i genuinely racked my brain hundreds of times trying to work out whether i did something wrong and i honestly can't think of a single thing what makes it even harder is that i know she's okay because i've occasionally seen her on mutual friends instagram stories is still she's on other people's instagram stories i've actually had to mute some of them because every time she pops up it brings everything back yeah yeah that's okay so it's not like she's completely disappeared from the face of the earth no she's literally still around she's with mutual friends yeah she's having brunch what do these mutual friends think of this maybe they don't know the connect i don't know no idea because surely it's like oh have you seen so and so recently and she's like well i've actually ghosted for two years yeah she doesn't exist anymore she thinks i'm dead yeah she she sent me flowers she's very concerned for me but i i've not bothered to to reach out or anything like but i know she watches your instagram like it's very weird It's haunting It actually is I understand you having to mute the stories Because it's fucking weird Yeah She's also become friendly with some of my friends Through my hen do and wedding As they spent a lot of time with her And got to know her and love her as I did You know So they still ask me how she is It's honestly so awkward and upsetting If you want to distance yourself from me Don't cozy up to my mates That's the opposite of what you should be doing I just think she's I feel like I know what her thought process is, but she's just handling everything.

42:21She's handling it very wrong. But then I also don't understand with like, if she's bezying up to people that are on your hen do and your friends. I think that's weird. I understand wanting to be like, you know what? I can't do this anymore. I need to separate it. It's a shame, but like the link is always gonna be there. Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. She's handled it wrong. But then to go and like bond with people who she met on your hen do is like, what? It is like haunting. Yeah. You know, like, it's like she's trying to still be around, but like, you know, and it's like, she knows that you're seeing this stuff.

42:52Yeah. Strange. So when they're asking me how you are, how she is, I'm just having to say, I don't know. She hasn't spoken to me in almost a year. Right. So what are they then going back to, but then are they not going, then go back to her and go, what's going on? I know, but she might be telling them a different story. That's true. I've had some really difficult things happen over the last year as well. I also found out earlier in the year that I'm pregnant with my first little baby. congratulations blueby congrats from blueberry too i don't know if she doesn't know or maybe she does know i think she told her yeah she knows oh yeah of course and has chosen not to reach out i genuinely just don't know which hurts me more at this point i don't even know what i want part of me thinks i deserve an explanation even if she decided she didn't want me in her life i honestly believe people deserve that conversation rather than just disappearing another part of me wonders whether i'm being naive do i I write her a letter do I contact her sister again do I make one final attempt or am I just setting myself up to be ignored all over again giving up on people isn't my nature I don't find it easy to walk away from relationships especially when there was never a reason for them to end in the first place but I also don't think I can cope with chasing someone who doesn't seem to want to be found anymore so my questions are at what point do you stop trying would you send one final letter or message or would you accept that after almost a year the silence is the answer and how do you make peace with losing someone you never actually got to say goodbye to i feel like i'm going slightly nuts without closure or explanation pics attached oh this is them this is really sad i think this is very very cruel from sarah like this is really immature and disappointing because look like all the points were made at the start i completely understand her frame of mind after that um breakup being like oh my god you know i need to take a step back i love susan but every time i think of susan like i think of my ex and then i think of all everything that happened and that is completely valid and normal i would feel the same way and maybe you need some time and distance just to like gather yourself before you can re you know be around that person who kind of reminds you you know but the way she's gone about this is completely torturous and very mean yeah and you're in turmoil like sarah you're in turmoil like you're so upset you're emotional i don't think you need to reach out again i think you've reached out enough yeah i think you also did send that final message already i know you're like one final but you you did already send that you said yeah you sent the flowers for god's sake had a lot going on in my life like if you don't reply to this like i will take that as you don't you've said like i'm here if you need me yeah it's almost just that acceptance of like i'm not going to get closure from this situation i have to take the no response as a response like clearly she doesn't want to be in your life anymore clearly she's not interested in being your friend anymore which is all very very hurtful but it's like really i think it's just coming to terms with accepting the fact that you're not going to get closure from this.

46:03And she's not going to reach out. And she's not going to reach out. And that shouldn't, you should almost like try and find closure with it within yourself and be like, look, my closure is I've tried to reach out to her X amount of times over the past year and I've got nothing. So I have that for me is my closure. Like I've tried my best. I know that like nothing, you know, really crazy went down. Like I was a good friend to her. I really cared about. I've let her know if she wants to reach out to me. Like you have still left the door open and your last message you were like if you ever need me like i'll be here if you're ready talk to me like i just think you just got to stop driving yourself crazy wanting to hear from her because it's very clear that she's decided that she does not want to reach out to you even if she reached out like i don't know if we want to still be friends with her because exactly and that's where it's like really at this point what difference is it going to make in terms of like closure let's say she does message you hey sorry wasn't replying being going through some stuff got us with someone new bye yeah you're then they're not going to magically feel like so different about the past year you have to almost just like give yourself that closure i do think it's very spooky that she's still in the same circles really but but not you can't even utter a word to you i i i just think it's not something a friend would do ghost you for a whole year is you seeing that you're i don't know if there's something that you don't know like i feel like you might be there It might be a piece of a puzzle that we don't know.

47:30I'm just so confused what all the mutual friends are thinking. Me too. We're running in all these same circles. Like your mates with all these friends from the wedding. I know. Why aren't they all concerned that you've not reached out to me in a year? Because I'm telling them. They all know that you've been ghosting me. But also, if I was one of these mutual friends, I think I'd be like, right, guys, come on. I know. Should we try and get to the bottom of this? Why aren't you? You know? I know. Where are they to try and like, you know, because obviously you've tried. like it says not because someone who's talking to her like can't they talk to her and like why aren't you like i just don't know where that kind of middle man is with these mutual friends no me neither you know what i mean like where are they i mean we're missing something yeah something we don't know something weird yeah and also like maybe she's got a new boyfriend and maybe you just don't know why she can't just send you a text is baffling yeah maybe it's a case of like she's almost got the fear now because she thinks I can't do it now I've left it so long like I should have just replied it straight away.

48:25But then it's like I'm seeing you on Instagram stories like with people who I've saw last week like you're still about. Yeah like you can. I just think you have to try and find some peace with this situation Sarah and be like look I don't need to beg for my friendships I don't want to force people to be in my life who don't want to be in it you're having a baby it's time to like re-center you've got your husband you've got your family you've got all your other mates and unfortunately like we just can't you don't want to force this woman to be in your life anyway because she clearly has no interest i think you can move on knowing that you tried your very best you reached out you know so many times for over a year and you still got no response that's that's all you can do if she wants to contact you she knows where to find you you know yes she exactly and i think but good luck yeah it's really hurtful you're just gonna keep going around and around like like you're overthinking and questioning everything and it's like you're in turmoil and it doesn't make sense to just move on as well

49:33okay last one am i staying because i genuinely want this friendship or because I feel guilty leaving. Before my dilemma, I just want to say thank you. I've been listening since episode one and you genuinely don't know how much joy you've brought to me over the years. A bit about me. I'm 25 and I live in Zurich. Zurich, Switzerland. I'm in such an exciting stage of life right now because I'm about to move to Basel. Wow. To live with my boyfriend. Gorgeous. Who I met earlier this year and who is genuinely my dream man. Wow. Let's call my friend Susan. She's 36, a single mum. When we first became friends, I loved her.

50:13She was funny, outgoing, and we made some of my favourite memories together. But over time, I've noticed things that make me question whether this friendship is actually good for me anymore. the biggest thing is that Susan doesn't really keep close friends apart from me every new friendship of hers ends quickly and every time it's someone else's fault they were toxic jealous or selfish for a long time I felt sorry for her but after hearing the same story on repeat I started wondering if everyone else is always the problem maybe everyone else isn't actually the problem yeah then there's the money i live on a strict budget after rent car insurance groceries susan earns around 10k a month more than me okay susan yet somehow i'm always the one paying what whether it's expensive that's so weird from a friendship whether it's expensive places she picks things for her child or covering her when she's run out that week meanwhile she's constantly buying herself new clothes accessories and if i say money's tight she gets annoyed or distant and if i ever treat myself to something nice she'll snipe and say oh i thought you didn't have any money you couldn't lend me money the other week you're on 10 grand what the fuck her relationship with her child's dad is a whole other level of chaos constantly on and off she's incredibly judgmental of other women who date men in relationships when i gently pointed out the hypocrisy once oh she's not gonna like that i suddenly wasn't supportive or a girl's girl anymore i don't think being a good friend means agreeing with everything someone does she also has a habit of inviting me over under the guise of a girl's day and then asks me to watch her child while she gets her nails done.

52:06Shut up. That's ridiculous. When I told her about my move, I was so excited, starting my dream life with my boyfriend. And instead of excitement, all she said was, well, now you'll never have time to come here anymore. Well, she's lost her childcare. She's lost her nanny, literally. Just concern about how it affects her. That genuinely broke my heart, especially because I pointed out she'd always be welcome to visit, but she wasn't interested. She also gets visibly jealous whenever I spend time with other friends, making comments about how busy I am, reminding me she only has me, while also telling me I'm one of the only people she can rely on.

52:44So she's trying to make you feel bad. Yeah. I believe healthy friendships leave room for others, but she seems to treat every friend of mine as competition. There's also quite an age gap between, I wonder where you guys met, because you're 25, she's 36. Like you guys didn't meet at school. It's like she thinks she can control you and she thinks that you're so naive and she can get in your head and like say all these things and you'll believe it. Do you know what I mean? She's also convinced my boyfriend doesn't like her because he skips our meetups when really I just intentionally schedule girl time when he's out with his mates.

53:14She's like a toxic boyfriend trying to isolate you from everyone else in your life. But whenever he has been around, she gets weirdly passive aggressive going on about how amazing she is, how no one appreciates her, how hard dating is and then pivoting to how lucky I am to have him or how she wishes she could find someone like him. one time it got to be too much and my boyfriend simply told her thank goodness i ended up with sarah because she's the most intelligent beautiful incredible woman i know and i'm the lucky one oh god susan went quiet afterwards um and he said to me i think this friendship is making you unhappy and i think you've outgrown it okay okay i do you know what i love i like that from brian yeah because he's looking out for you and he can see what's actually going on as well i could tell a hundred more stories like these her getting upset if i don't reply fast enough questioning my choices reacting badly to my social media always finding something to criticize even though she tells me how much she loves me and how i'm one of the most important people in her life well it's not really adding up sarah because you don't treat me like that what's really stuck with me is that my mom did you like meet her like at work she's like a work colleague or something my mom my two best friends and my boyfriend have all separately and without discussing it with each other told me they think I've outgrown this friendship okay I don't think she's a bad person I just think she's been through a lot and carries real hurt I do love her that's what makes this so hard I don't want to abandon her or be cruel but I also don't want to stay purely because I feel responsible for her happiness so girls am I a terrible person for wanting to step back from a friendship that no longer feels healthy does it take one big betrayal to end a friendship or can small things add up to the same conclusion how do you know when someone was meant to be in your life forever versus for just one chapter and how do you know if you're staying because you genuinely want the friendship or just because you're scared of hurting someone you care about oh wasn't expecting that i mean it wasn't just one thing she's using the money thing right let's let's break this oh there's the money thing is wild you're paying for things for her child inviting you over and leaving you with her kid is wild imagine you were paying every single time we hung out imagine I was taking Sophia into pets at home and she was buying all of Blue Breeze food and her poo bags treats and poo bags imagine you were buying all my that is crazy because it's like a two way street oh I'll get this you get that then she's inviting you in inviting you around under the guys that's like me inviting you around under the guys it's a girl's night yeah let's hang out and then i'm like yeah i'm off toodles watch my dog yeah watch my dog for a few hours she's in season she can't go outside yeah that's crazy yeah that is and on top of that all the comments the kind of snide comments yeah it's it feels a bit like she is your hater it's sad because you guys have probably had good times together you there's obviously this friendship has stemmed from something but i also think this move is coming at a great time yeah i think you can just you're moving you don't let's just like dial this friendship back you don't need to be like i announced to you sarah i will never be your friend again no i think it's just like a slow but steady distancing you're moving away you're not in the same city anymore yeah she's made it very clear that she's upset about it whatever visiting fine you know i just think distance yourself i do think that's and the fact that everyone who loves you in your life has made the same conclusion about her is that's the most telling thing of it all it's like you know because it's like when you're in a relationship you've got the blinkers on and sometimes also in a friendship too you can have the blinkers on like you don't really you know because you're in it you can't really see what's actually going on but the fact that all those people have said the same thing yeah about her it's very telling it is yeah i think it's come to an end i agree i think you're gonna take that move to basel and let's just let it fizzle i think you can be reassured that you know that her behavior is is odd it's not what a normal friend does it's it is weird and that is not how a friendship should look no or should be or feel because you know she's putting you down or whatever like you should feel like that no and you can kind of move on knowing like okay no i I think I made the right decision to distance myself from her because that wasn't right.

57:33As much as I care about her and I kind of want her to be doing well, in the same breath, you can also want to distance yourself from her because it's also affecting your happiness. And like, do you know what I mean? Yeah, I completely agree. And it's also that thing of like, not every single friend of yours has to be this like lifelong best friend. Like it's friends for a reason, season, lifetime. time like maybe this is just one of those people who actually she's more of like an arm's length friend you know we're you know we're civil we get on but there's a lot there that i don't really trust her and like my close close circle she's not got the most positive energy towards me like yeah doesn't mean that you have to like she uses me for money and then makes comments about it to be like i'm never gonna speak to you ever again we don't have to have this explosive like you know breakup but yeah i think the move's coming at a right time let's just like the communication will probably naturally get less and less because you're not going to be seeing each other as much you can't just meet up on a whim because you're moving and life might just take you in different directions and then if you feel like you have a duty of care to her like if you ever are in Zurich you know you can go see her you know once every six months and that's why I mean just change the like the the friendship can still be there but it can look very different yeah but maybe just bring cash and you are pay for my half yeah yes you know I've got 20 for my half I don't know but yeah very bizarre and also the fact that she has ended all of her friendships kind of with the same she is the common denominator exactly star of the week yes who's our star of the week look at how greedy are you Blueberry's had a whole bag of biscuits I know she's on her period yeah she actually is she needs the extra TLC oh wow coming from one of our favourite lands where New Zealand Oh New Zealand Hello from New Zealand Love you both and love the pod so much I would like to nominate my amazing partner Rise Rise?

59:35Rise For the start of the week He genuinely is the most amazing man I have ever met He tells me I'm beautiful about 20 times a day Treats me with little gifts all the time Even though he's a student He takes me on regular dates Brings me flowers Looks after me when I'm tired stressed sad sick everything wow we all need a rise i'm currently starting my own business and he has been the most supportive person ever constantly helping me with tricky situations helping me edit videos for tiktok and instagram so a supportive king we love that let me talk about it all the time he even wrote me a lovely letter saying how it makes him so happy hearing me talk so excitedly about something that he loves seeing the light in my eyes all right and could listen to me forever.

1:00:23Oh, that's so sweet. Often I listen to the dilemmas in the pod with all the silly Bryans who aren't treating the amazing Sarahs right. And I compare the Bryans to my Rise and I think, gosh, I'm so lucky. You really are, Sarah. Oh, Sarah, we're so happy for you on Rise. He truly has my best interests at heart. He is my biggest cheerleader and I couldn't have asked for a better partner. So shout out. Shout out. to rise to rise and see of us attached oh the happy couple that is lovely that is a wonderful star of the week we needed that didn't we oh look at them what a gem i'm glad you found a diamond in the rough sarah absolutely shout out rise did you do your word i did i don't even know what my word was i did it what was it i did it because you were reading the last time i was like oh my god fuck i've not said i've not said i've not said it and you didn't even look up from your phone what was it incoherent oh nice i was like oh do you want to know what my word was what's that my word oh

1:01:38oh um let me we've just been made informed that that wasn't chintzy's word I was going to say my word was voracious. Oh, no chance. Apparently it's an adjective that means having a very big appetite. Vovacious. Oh, vivacious. No. Oh, wait. Sorry, what? Voracious. Voracious. Voracious. Yeah, no chance, mate. So neither of us were because you didn't even get your word. Well, I tried. Incompetent. Incoherent. I thought I smashed that. Wait, so what was her word supposed to be? Inconcurrent. No chance, babe. No chance. I couldn't even read that word. I was going to say incoherent and voracious. It's slightly different.

1:02:23Yeah, we did, to be fair. Oh, yeah, we had no chance, did we? Well, next time we'll try again. Yeah, we'll take two. Absolutely. Well, thank you for listening. Thank you guys so much for listening. If you have a Star of the Week entry or a dilemma, please email it to hello at thegirlsbathroom.com. Absolutely. and follow us on Instagram, TikTok, and YouTube. Thank you. And we'll see you next Monday and on Wednesday. Bye.

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