Girl Talk: My hater is back in the friendship group… help!!

0:01Cinzia Baylis-Zullo: Labor Day deals are looking good at Lowe's. Save$10 on one gallon cans and$50 on five gallon pails of select interior paint via rebate. Plus, get two 2.5 quart or three quart mums for just$8. A fresh look and savings? Even better. Labor Day deals are on now at Lowe's. In-store and online. Valid through 9-9. While supplies last. Mum sizes vary by location and exclude Alaska and Hawaii. See store at Lowe's.com for more details.

0:30Sammy Borras: 75 % of women who seek menopause care don't receive it. The lying awake at 3 a.m. wondering what's happening to your body ends now. Midi is virtual care built for women in perimenopause and menopause with clinicians who specialize in women's health. Plus, it's covered by most major insurances. Getting started is easy. You can book your first visit with a clinician right away. Midlife needs Midi. Visit joinmidi.com to book your first visit today. That's joinmidi.com. Insurance coverage varies. Check with your plan for coverage. I stabbed two. No, like I actually know like this is vivid. Like my pair of scissors that I have in my kitchen.

1:09Sammy Borras: It was those scissors. I stabbed these two people in the neck and like genuinely killed them. Do you know what? I'm actually really proud of you. That was my actual dream. And I was like, I woke up being like, oh, like I remembered it. It must have been at like 6 a.m. Like, do you know what I mean? Wow. Very vivid. I'm actually very proud of you for protecting us I saved us yeah and then it was like okay like we've got rid of them like we just need to hone in like make sure no one can see that we're here wow and just like keep on a low profile and just bury these bodies but because I did that we kind of had the go ahead like these ladies are okay it was like weird

1:48Sammy Borras: what's going on motherfuckers

1:50Cinzia Baylis-Zullo: it's just the Gen Z's only in the building today do you know what

1:54Sammy Borras: I actually on my way in. Feels like the adults have left. On my way in, Sophia, I was cruising down the King's Road. Yes, Gen Z. And Gen Zs, they really do know how to dress. Yeah, okay. Let's speak about it. Because I saw so many groups of young girls. Because we're not Gen Z, are we? No. No. So many groups of young girls. I thought they all looked so cool. I was like out for inspo. And I was like, they were literally 17. They never went through the. And they look really cool.

2:19Cinzia Baylis-Zullo: Like really cool. I even think like the 15 year olds are killing it. They're killing it. No, yeah. I think they could have been like, they're not really going through that weird phase that we went through. They just look cool. There's no such thing now as like the 12, 13, 14, 15, like weirdness. It's not happening.

2:34Sammy Borras: Cause I had, we, well, I speak for myself or I speak for you. You can speak for me. Weird weirdness. Yeah. Oh, a lot of weirdness. Like, you know, it was just like, you don't know what you look like. I mean, I guess they still feel like that. Cause like you don't know what you look like. Like you're changing so much. You're trying to dress.

2:50Cinzia Baylis-Zullo: Like if we had Hayley Bieber to look up to with this lovely clean girl makeup. Yeah, but we had Nicole Guerrero. Do you know what I mean? And Carly Bible. But it wasn't like, oh, just the blush and the OP color, like highlight sticks of it all. We were doing like cut creases and shit.

3:07Sammy Borras: Well, yeah, we were trying our best.

3:09Cinzia Baylis-Zullo: And like setting our under eyes, you know?

3:11Sammy Borras: Which was really exciting. We had number seven. We had number seven. We did, yeah. We had number seven and we had Barry M. And Kiko. And Kiko. Yeah. And we had beauty blenders. We had Kylie Lip Kits.

3:25Cinzia Baylis-Zullo: Yes, but we were like 18.

3:27Sammy Borras: But like when we were 12, we had what our mum would use. We had Estee Lauder Double Wear.

3:32Cinzia Baylis-Zullo: Do you remember that L 'Oreal base that Carly Bybel put us on to that we were obsessed with? Yes, we spoke about that before. And then it got discontinued. And it was like this water bit. It was amazing. Oh my God, it was so good. Bring that back, L 'Oreal.

3:41Sammy Borras: This L 'Oreal, it was in this frosted glass bottle, which was the most like incredible packaging ever. didn't it have a purple top i think so yeah purple top and it was this like but the the texture of it was so nice it's like water fluid it was so nice but then they discontinued it and we could only get it at bister village no not bister village the other one mccarthur glenn mccarthur glenn

4:04Cinzia Baylis-Zullo: i remember when we set our under eyes for the first time ever do you yeah i think i've got pictures of it actually maybe i'll send them to you she can put them on splashback mary no remember

4:14Sammy Borras: Oh, did it work?

4:16Cinzia Baylis-Zullo: Yeah. We looked, we thought we ate down. So we were going to, I think it was a New Year's Eve party. Yeah, absolutely. I think we were like 16, 17.

4:24Sammy Borras: Curly hair was out. Curly hair was out.

4:27Cinzia Baylis-Zullo: I was wearing culottes. Fuck. She's so pub and rock and rock and base. You were in that green sparkly long sleeve V-neck dress.

4:38Sammy Borras: Oh, was it a dress? I thought it was like, it was almost like a, like this. Oh, okay. Oh my God. Yes, it was. And we were in our like wedges. Black ankle boots. Wedge. Not wedge, but like thick heel. Angle boots. Yeah, we were in our wedges. Straight on the ankle line.

4:55Cinzia Baylis-Zullo: We were getting pictures in the kitchen and we set and we were like, right, tonight's the night. We're going to set our, we're going to bake. We're going to set our under eyes for the first time. What were we using? Number seven? Number seven. Yeah. Under the eyes, on the jaw. And then we were looking back at our pics and we were like, you look fantastic. Yeah, bit of flash. And we were like looking at our makeup, like, Our makeup looks great. So did Carly teach us that?

5:16Sammy Borras: I think it was Carly or Nicole or Mario. Or had makeup by Mario just done that tutorial with Kim? Possibly, yeah. You know that iconic picture where she's got the powder on? It was like, oh my fuck. We've got to put powder on.

5:27Cinzia Baylis-Zullo: Yeah. Wow, man, Rose. Good times, hey?

5:31Sammy Borras: Yeah, good times. Because loose powder wasn't very... It was like our mums using loose powder. They weren't.

5:36Cinzia Baylis-Zullo: It was press powder. Yeah, my mum was using the bare mineral beads powder stuff. Bare minerals. Yeah, she was a bare minerals.

5:43Sammy Borras: She was. Like right half of Ben Minerals. Yeah. See, my mum was like number seven. Number seven, of course. Bit of Estee Lauder because, you know, that was a treat. But then the, what was that pressed powder that we would use? Was it a L 'Oreal? Just that one in the, oh, Rimmel? You know, we just had that pressed powder. Rimmel. I think it was Rimmel. And that's what we would pack it in with. Yeah. Fucking hell. Oh, good times. Good times. We've got my homemade matcha today.

6:11Cinzia Baylis-Zullo: Yeah, I'm loving this. What are you drinking today? beverage this is i just saw it in prayer and i thought that is tickling every single taste but that i've got right now and it's sparkling would you like to try it sparkly apple flavored drink and it is good i'll chuck it that's it here love let me just get out we'll meet in the middle

6:33Cinzia Baylis-Zullo: it is so fucking good like that is it hits every spot yeah take a sip have another drink did you see what we missed last night

6:43Sammy Borras: Cynthia Erivo came out for Ariana Grande you're joking what did they sing a couple things I've been loving the new album I finally listened to it

6:55Cinzia Baylis-Zullo: the album

6:58Sammy Borras: I listened to it a couple times

7:00Cinzia Baylis-Zullo: did you like that

7:06Sammy Borras: yeah it's going down a treat Yeah, that is very delicious. Fizzy, appley. Yeah, it was amazing. Oh, I had a really scary dream last night. Really, really scary. Like, actually scary. Like, very vivid. I woke up very rattled.

7:22Cinzia Baylis-Zullo: Okay. Would you like to talk about it?

7:24Sammy Borras: We were on holiday.

7:25Cinzia Baylis-Zullo: I also had a bad night as well. So this is weird.

7:27Sammy Borras: We were on holiday.

7:29Cinzia Baylis-Zullo: Oh, I was there. With Lydia and Olivia. I love when I'm in someone's dream.

7:32Sammy Borras: We were somewhere remote. Okay. But there was, like, I genuinely remember this.

7:38Cinzia Baylis-Zullo: yeah that's when you know it's yeah it was actually sticks with you all day but things

7:43Sammy Borras: were going on we couldn't get out of there we shouldn't have gone on this holiday like we shouldn't be there but we were there okay we weren't supposed to be there well it was like we got there and it was like things were kicking off it was like we shouldn't be in this place right now oh no then all i remember is is there was like oh it's not even funny like what's happened what happened obviously we were trying to protect ourselves of course we were in some sign we were like a camper van but it was like our camper van like our holiday home or something okay yeah and then i stabbed oh no like i actually know like this is vivid like my pair of scissors that i have in my kitchen it was those scissors i stabbed these two people in the neck and like genuinely killed them do you know what i'm actually that was my actual dream and i was like i woke up being like oh like i remembered it it must have been at like 6 a.m like do you know what i mean like very vivid I'm actually very proud of you for protecting us I saved us yeah and then it was like okay like we've got rid of them like we just need to hone in like make sure no one can see that we're here wow and just like keep on a low profile and just bury these bodies but because I did that we kind of had the go ahead like these ladies are okay it was like weird you like got us accepted yeah it was really weird these guys are cool but we were still like very much like anxious oh my god but on behalf of my dream self thank you so much for saving us it was awful no it was like

9:02Cinzia Baylis-Zullo: That was older sister energy really stepping in.

9:05Sammy Borras: Yeah, it was. But it was like my pair of scissors that I have in my kitchen. Then I saw them on the side of this morning. I was like, it's the weapon. Like it was awful. Like I should probably wash them. It was genuinely awful. This is the murder weapon. I should throw these away. I need a good breakfast. I made myself a nice bowl of porridge. And I feel amazing.

9:22Cinzia Baylis-Zullo: A lot of freakiness is happening today. I feel amazing.

9:24Sammy Borras: I've had a good breakfast. A lot of freakiness.

9:27Cinzia Baylis-Zullo: I just bought some porridge. And last night.

9:31Sammy Borras: It's porridge season.

9:31Cinzia Baylis-Zullo: last night i woke up half four boom wide awake couldn't sleep that was it must have been when i was having my dream it must have been when i i think i did because i was awake like like that and it must have been when you stabbed those people in the neck yeah because you were there

9:47Sammy Borras: babes it was awful but i woke up really not nice and then it was because i was like i need to go back to sleep i remember being like whoa whoa but it was like mid-sleep and then i was scared

9:57Cinzia Baylis-Zullo: it's horrible when you have a dream like that and it really stays with you like when you wake up and it feels so real and fresh and raw it's really scary yeah it was awful but i really enjoyed my

10:05Sammy Borras: porridge well i did but you have chocolate porridge i couldn't find any chocolate milk so i did banana honey and then cube of a dark chocolate that went all melty and it was just i might have some porridge fill me right up breakfasts are great breakfast i've been skipping breakfast of champions it was

10:25Cinzia Baylis-Zullo: great it's really good wow okay well welcome back everyone happy wednesday we hope you're doing really well absolutely dive into the queue we're gonna dive into the queue of the w question of the week okay it is girl talk and we have here what is the best thing you've ever bought for less than five pounds well we're gonna get some great hacks out of this we've got here Oh, okay. Not the beauty recommendations I thought we were going for. Scottish flag temporary tattoos for a date with a Scottish guy. Cute.

11:03Sammy Borras: Blueberry.

11:05Cinzia Baylis-Zullo: Blueberries riding half of the Scots.

11:07Sammy Borras: Booby. Temporary tats. Cool.

11:09Cinzia Baylis-Zullo: Yeah, temporary tats. That was always a thing at the parties. Was it? Kids parties. Temporary tats. Oh, kids parties. I was like, right. Yeah. A buzz ball. I've actually never had a buzz ball.

11:20Sammy Borras: I think we should try a buzz ball. Shall we? One buzz ball would be gone. Yeah, it would be mental.

11:25Cinzia Baylis-Zullo: They're strong, apparently. A tiny spatula thing for skincare in a tub. Yes, yes, nice. A little scoopity scoop. You know, like what you get in the under eye patches. Ah, group chat subscription. Nice. Absolutely,£3.99. A flaky and soft gluten-free croissant. Gluten-free girlies will know how hard this is to find. A Kindle page turner. I'm with you on that one. Amen, hallelujah. What does that do then? So it's like this Bluetooth thing. It's kind of like magic. You put it on your side of your Kindle and then you've got a clicker in your hand. But don't you can't just click it?

11:59Sammy Borras: Oh.

11:59Cinzia Baylis-Zullo: And then it like connects it and it turns the page. And I also sent it to Mark because I saw one that you put on your phone and it swipes your TikToks for you. I feel like you probably quite like that. I should have sent that to you as well. This was like years. That would reinforce me. Yeah. And you can just put your phone there and you can just like tap, tap. And you can just. Wow.

12:16Sammy Borras: Whoa, whoa, whoa. Losing a strong new level of that.

12:19Cinzia Baylis-Zullo: A debobbler. Yeah. What's a debobbler? Gets the bubbles off your clothes. Oh, I was thinking of a hair bubble. M &S baked apple yogurt. Oh, there you go. I've never had that. You like apple? I do, yeah. An Etsy witch spell. Nice. Of course. A jar opener. I'm a single girl who lives alone.

12:37Sammy Borras: Well, no, listen. Like, listen. Mum has just taught me how to open a jar when it's really hard to open. I didn't know jar openers existed. She's never taught me this before. What's she saying? I didn't know this. Okay. When it's really hard, you just stab it in the top and it releases the air And then it opens really easy. Did you actually know that? No, I never knew that. Because I didn't know that. And it genuinely works. I was trying to open the button. What, you knife it in the top? You just knife it in the top. And like, it literally releases the pressure. And then it opens so easy. Why didn't she tell us that soon?

13:03Sammy Borras: She literally just told me that last week. Wow. Almost 30 years on this planet.

13:07Cinzia Baylis-Zullo: And we never knew that.

13:08Sammy Borras: No, seriously. It's open jam, everything. Wow. My big bulb, bulb, my bulb chip beans. Whatever they're called. Big bulb beans. Big bulb beans. They are the best beans in the world. Glass straw and a Pepsi Max combo. Wow. Wow. Oh, wow. I actually really want to get myself a nice glass of ice, a lemon and a lime. Squeeze a bit of lime in there. But chop up some lemons, pour in the Pepsi Max. Fizzy, fizzy, fizzy. You know, for that like glass straw and a sip. I've never done that with like a bit of a squeeze of lime.

13:46Cinzia Baylis-Zullo: And I think, you know, for that like 4.35 p.m. pick me up beverage. Yeah. I mean I really want an ice machine in my house well me too and I want a coke machine and yeah I want the work

13:55Sammy Borras: me too because mum has just got a new fridge and it's got so it Angie's always had a good fridge

14:02Cinzia Baylis-Zullo: Angie's always had those ice dispenser fridges she was very upset she was ahead of her time

14:06Sammy Borras: she was very upset that she had to buy a new fridge but it just went kapot just fucking broke but I was like you've probably had it 30 years babe yeah that fridge is like a cool memory of my childhood

14:13Cinzia Baylis-Zullo: yeah

14:15Sammy Borras: it's got so in the freezer instead of it coming out the dispenser it's in the freezer drawer there's a whole compartment it's got little nuggets and like bigger ones with a scoop and it just is constantly replenishing itself I need that and I was like I need that but you can buy ice machines can you? yeah and you just put them on the side can you buy an ice machine that you can put in the freezer?

14:39Cinzia Baylis-Zullo: probably not surely

14:40Sammy Borras: but then there's never no I don't think so I think it needs to be plugged in of course I think they need to be plugged in to summer

14:46Cinzia Baylis-Zullo: I'll put that on my 2027 mood board I think I'm going to get one too. House inspo.

14:50Sammy Borras: Also, it's like such a weight. It's like, it's water. Frozen. Just freeze it yourself.

14:55Cinzia Baylis-Zullo: I mean, I've got my ice cube trays. Yeah. I'm fine. Yeah. But it'd be nice if there was - I'm just getting lazy. I'd like it if there was buckets there. Because like one of my ice cubes, it's like six ice cubes. So I just use it in one go. I want to be able to shovel it with a nice old spade. I've got to decide whether I want a matcha that day

15:10Sammy Borras: or if I want to put it in my Coke or if I want a little glass of water. It's like I can't use ice willy nilly every day.

15:16Cinzia Baylis-Zullo: It's a hot commodity.

15:17Sammy Borras: okay so what else are people like for under five pounds sticky iphone grip yeah to stick it on here my getting ready headband yeah love one of those a milk frother wow yes yeah a care of a pair of capris on vintage for two pounds wow wow a little crocodile clip on a stick to help put clasp bracelets on by myself oh i need that oh my god that's clever period pants yep yeah i really

15:45Cinzia Baylis-Zullo: Are they less than five pounds? Period pounds?

15:48Sammy Borras: Maybe for one pair. Fries on a night out. A bunch of flowers that lasted a week for under two pounds. You know those flowers? You know those flowers we bought a couple of weeks ago? They're still alive. Green and beautiful. We'll have to go back there then. Still alive in my flat. So I think she's got some really great flowers there. Okay, we'll have to go back there. But we need cash. Yeah, oh yeah. Towel clips for your lounger on holiday. Yes, what a good idea. Oh my God, I'd never thought about that. I saw a TikTok ad and it was such a good idea it was a towel that you put on the sun lounger and it had little pockets on the side so you could put your book, your phone your little bits you know what else we should buy as well

16:28Cinzia Baylis-Zullo: just the clips that you can put on the table for your bag just for like restaurant ease so you'd have to put it on the floor put it on your knee

16:35Sammy Borras: right, should we do the first

16:39Cinzia Baylis-Zullo: yes, let's dive in you guys

16:47Sammy Borras: Just before we get into it, quick disclaimer. We are not doctors. We are not professionals. We do not actually know what we are talking about. This is a lighthearted space. Okay. Don't take what we say literally because we could be wrong.

16:58Cinzia Baylis-Zullo: Yeah. And if there's anything serious, if there's anything you feel like you're seriously struggling with, please contact a GP, a professional, because that is not us. We're just girls, girls and boys just like you.

17:07Sammy Borras: We're just trying to get through life as well. Not professionals.

17:10Cinzia Baylis-Zullo: Enjoy the episode.

17:13Sammy Borras: oh my god i mean this was actually one of my favorite shows ever yours too bridezilla

17:20Cinzia Baylis-Zullo: superb tv was it bbc3 or was it american the one where the man planned the whole thing yeah that's what was that called that was called

17:31Sammy Borras: was that bridezilla no no bride don't tell the bride don't tell the bride was bbc3 right Bridezilla was American. Yes. Oh, okay. Yeah, right. Blueberry. Blueberry. Blueberry. So our Sarah here is asking, am I the bridezilla?

17:48Cinzia Baylis-Zullo: Listen, I like the self-awareness and I like the self-recognition.

17:52Sammy Borras: Yeah. And also the thing is like, you're going to be a little stressed.

17:55Cinzia Baylis-Zullo: But you know, it's good that you're asking yourself a question. You're going to be a little stressed. I think you get a free pass personally.

18:01Sammy Borras: Yes. To a certain extent. Yes. But pregnant girls, brides, freedom. passes in my book yeah but when i would watch that show there really was some yeah bride sellers and it was actually that was out of pocket and completely unfair yeah just because you're a bride you can't treat people like shit but let's see hi girls firstly love the podcast you're both my comfort lesson so i desperately need some outsider opinions because i genuinely don't know if i'm the bad guy here buckle in oh my god love you sarah i don't think you're the bad guy yeah let's see how it go i met my friend at uni over four years ago and when i got engaged asking her to be my maid of honor felt like an easy decision because she's super organized and i thought she'd be amazing oh okay this is where it all started to unravel when we started planning my hen do i initially agreed to benedore but after thinking about it i realized that just wasn't for me i'm more of a chill girly ironically going abroad had actually been her idea in the first place the other bridesmaids suggested different destinations but every idea seemed to be met with reasons why it wouldn't work i completely understood she had valid reasons but i started feeling like every conversation centered around what worked for her rather than what i wanted okay and even one of my bridesmaids had to remind her that it was my hen do okay oh okay so you decided benadorm benadorm and you're actually i'm not sure where else could we do and she's kind of guy gearing you because you don't really know where you want to go but you're trying to figure it out eventually i suggested we booked the trip and if she couldn't come we'd do an english weekend together with the others who weren't able okay so you'll actually say like if you can't come you can't come babe i don't actually care yeah it wasn't ideal but i felt stuck and thought it was the fairest compromises myself and the other girls needed to book time off work to make things easier financially i even offered to pay for her bridesmaid's dress and shoes and let her and her partner stay at our house after the wedding i completely understand that not everyone can afford an abroad hen do but i started feeling like i was compromising my own hen while she wasn't even meeting me halfway right all good so you're trying to be accommodating look don't worry about your dress i understand this is a lot just trying to go with the group majority you know yeah all sounds good so far the hardest part wasn't the hen do itself it was how it made me feel I'd imagine being engaged would be one of the happiest times of my life but instead I was anxious, crying and dreading conversations about my own wedding I felt like the villain for simply wanting to make decisions about my own wedding and for once putting myself first Eventually I made the difficult decision to demote her from maid of honour I still invited her as a guest as we're having a very intimate wedding I knew she'd be hurt and I spent days carefully writing a message because I wanted to be as kind as possible, but it still ended badly.

20:54Sammy Borras: This is just so too much stress. Yeah. Because also it is going to make things awkward as good as you go about it. Like it's just going to make things -

21:04Cinzia Baylis-Zullo: But I'm really sad for you that you found this period of life that you were always kind of looking forward to, to actually be like anxiety inducing and stressful and awkward and like straining relationships.

21:17Sammy Borras: And it obviously was extreme because you felt like you had to demote you couldn't even see it through yeah so obviously she wasn't doing a good job oh god okay then it came ceremony she's still invited then came the instagram reel she's made a fucking tiktok babes who's made a tiktok i don't know i think they're made of honors made a tiktok no no no well then came the instagram reel i liked one of those friendship reels oh okay sorry i'm getting ahead of myself thought it was a tell-all sorry an expose but that would have been such an easy tiktok photo to make do you know what i mean just like pov i've been demoted pov you get demoted yeah do you know what i mean right i liked so i liked one of those friendship reels and she confronted me about it i'll happily admit i liked it but it genuinely wasn't aimed at her oh so like you know it was like a you know a quote with like it was an indirect yeah it was like related to yeah some friendships are for a season a reason maybe it was actually some people have to be demoted yeah yeah yeah put yourself first some friends aren't gonna choose you get rid of them yeah so i'll happily admit that i liked it but it genuinely wasn't aimed at her simply something that resonated with me yeah she said it she saw it differently accused me of spreading negativity and malice and i felt like she was talking down to me rather than trying to understand me so now it's heated now we're falling out and it's getting a bit like Like she obviously couldn't understand why she was being demoted.

22:45Sammy Borras: Then she saw the real like and she thought that's about me. That's about me.

22:50Cinzia Baylis-Zullo: And it's all gone to it all actually might be coming from embarrassment from her. Because. Yeah. And she's trying to make you out to be the bad guy.

22:57Sammy Borras: Like see, she's the one liking reels and making me feel like shit. Spreading malice. Yeah.

23:02Cinzia Baylis-Zullo: Spreading malice. That is malice. Yeah. Yes. Yeah.

23:07Sammy Borras: I think. She wants to be the victim. It would be. That's it. Yeah. She wants to be like, I'm the victim.

23:11Cinzia Baylis-Zullo: look at her malice malice malice yeah malice malice malice because it would be embarrassing to be demoted as a maid of honor like that that's embarrassing yeah and if she's not the kind of person that's going to be like yeah do you know what that was the best decision for everyone i completely agree like my bad i get it like i can't wait to support the next person like oh

23:29Sammy Borras: let me try and like make up like i admit i've been a mess of a maid of honor you deserve someone

23:34Cinzia Baylis-Zullo: who's going to step up to the plate yeah she's obviously taken it in the other direction that's like oh my god i'm so embarrassed everyone's gonna be talking about me and now she's just thinking malice malice yeah you're spreading malice yeah malice so yeah like chint said she

23:47Sammy Borras: wants to be the the victim yeah which is just kind of her like defensiveness response to try and handle the embarrassment and like i think like i'm not in the wrong i'm not in the wrong yeah nothing would be good malice right okay so we've had that situation so alcera says i completely understand why she was hurt by everything and i know i didn't handle everything perfectly but throughout it all i felt like i was constantly acknowledging her feelings while mine weren't really acknowledged i always tried to understand her perspective but i never felt like she tried to understand mine by this point there was tension between her and my all my bridesmaids well yeah so now it's like all the vibes off my mom and fiance could both see how stressed i become my fiance pointed out that throughout our friendship I'd usually been the one making extra effort I realized I didn't want to spend my wedding morning worrying about everyone getting along instead of enjoying marrying the love of my life I don't think we'll be able to come back from this part of me feels relieved because the stress has gone what she's just gone maybe she's just not gonna come to the wedding yeah but another part feels incredibly guilty and sad I keep wondering if I was too harsh or if I I've become the villain in someone else's story choosing my own well-being is something i rarely do which is why this has been so difficult but the way she spoke to me was very hurtful my fiance agreed he wouldn't be comfortable having her at the wedding even as a guest so girls was i justified in protecting my peace and my wedding or was i too harsh how do you stop feeling guilty after choosing yourself was i selfish i know this is only my perspective and i'm sure she has her own too i just really love your advice lots of love from a very sensitive bride to be oh i think you handled it that the best way that you sounds fine like you've been dreaming about getting married and having a hen do and all of that for your whole life right you got to this point you chose the person who you think who you thought you were closest to would be best suited and you know you loved or whatever gets to it it's like this is actually stressing me out more causing a lot of friction like it feels like no one's really bothered about what I want this is like kind of a mess like I'm really stressed she's not really listening to me she's I feel like she's trying to sway battling me my decision making process in the hen do and like this is all a bit too much so you thought the only option here is to demote her because otherwise I'm just gonna go into a fucking I'm gonna have a meltdown because this lady can't blah blah blah you did the best you could you were so nice by it you sent the nicest message to try and be like I'm so sorry still love you this is awkward the wedding but but like I feel like this is just a lot for you and a lot for me and la la la be best if my cousin Helen you know took over took over and that's hard for anyone to take it's kind of like a breakup she felt embarrassed she felt like oh my god what have I done la la la she's got to have a lot of maturity to be like that's fine I understand I'm here to support you I agree yeah like that's got to have a lot of obviously she didn't have that yeah she took it sideways she took it however she wanted to took it then the real thing happened it made things worse even though you were just relating to something you know on instagram as we all do and that was that it got a bit blown out

27:09Cinzia Baylis-Zullo: i don't think you've done anything wrong i don't either and i think i'm really proud of you for being like no do you know what this is no nonsense time like this is my time you're never gonna have this time again you're never gonna get this time again like this is your one engagement your one wedding planning your one day like I personally think it's amazing that you've thought you know what yeah I could probably like grit my teeth and like smile and be like and brush under the rug and be like okay it's a bit awkward but let's just get like yeah I'm not happy about this but blah blah just for the sake of like peacekeeping yeah but I think it's really brave that you were like actually no like I don't want this I don't want that and I I think it's great I think it's no nonsense and I also think it speaks volumes that you now feel relieved that it's all done and it's all kind of over and I think it's exactly what you said like I think it's so important especially with friends like to really tune in to like how does this person make me feel like how do I feel when they're around when I've hung out with them when I've just left them like and it sounds like she was putting you on edge making things awkward she didn't seem like she was really getting along with any of the other bridesmaids anyway so it sounds like you made the right decision to me I appreciate there's two sides and she'll have her version of events like you said but to me it doesn't sound like you've done anything wrong and I'm really proud of you I

28:30Sammy Borras: think you've put yourself first and because you're an empath you feel things so deeply and because you're not used to putting yourself first and like this is different for you you feel guilty You put yourself first And in doing that You had to maybe hurt Someone else's feelings But you had to put yourself first You're just feeling things Really deep Because you're not used To doing that And like she's trying To make you feel bad And like you're feeling that But really you didn't Do anything wrong You just put yourself first And she's took it How she's took it Is what it is It's your wedding day Yeah

28:56Cinzia Baylis-Zullo: Have the best time I hope now that you're like I'm gonna enjoy this I'm gonna lean in It's gonna be super super special I bet the other bridesmaids

29:02Sammy Borras: Are like a bit relieved too Yeah I bet everyone's rejoicing

29:05Cinzia Baylis-Zullo: Like sorry no offence But I'm sure they're probably Quite relieved now

29:08Sammy Borras: Because they spoke up earlier being like, remember, this is Sarah's wedding. Yeah, not yours, babe. They probably could see those vibes too. So they probably back you and I'm glad that you've got the other bridesmaids. Me too. And also your mom and your husband are supporting you too. Good luck with the wedding. Send us pics. Okay, next one. Helen's POV sent in. Being like, I was demoted. I would actually like that. I would love that. Should we shout out to Helen? Helen, if you're listening. if you knew that that was about you send in your POV but we don't know we don't want to stress Sarah out she's got a wedding actually oh sorry don't send it in sorry

29:46Cinzia Baylis-Zullo: or send it in and we'll read it send it in maybe in like six months actually no we're giving Sarah anxiety let's not

29:51Sammy Borras: yeah Sarah didn't want to hear that sorry Sarah sorry sorry sorry

29:53Cinzia Baylis-Zullo: okay right we've got a quick fire dilemma here this is a rapid question

29:56Sammy Borras: how to survive

29:57Cinzia Baylis-Zullo: this is me how to survive being a third wheel in a trio friendship this is me with you and Lydia

30:03Sammy Borras: wait no a third wheel in a what okay so my advice

30:05Cinzia Baylis-Zullo: in a trio friendship oh how to survive being in a trio wow lots of trials and tribulations yeah how to survive being the third way in a trio friendship yeah listen guys um we were never you were in a trio at school primary school you're in a trio yes i was never in a trio at school uh yeah because there's usually a leader there is that's a problem there's always a leader i was never the leader and there's the twevils yeah i was never the

30:36Sammy Borras: leader you know you might think i would have been a leader because of my you know i do confidence beauty and confidence and great radiance um but i was never the leader i was always controlled by the leader wasn't i and i had no i couldn't speak up i was scared and there's always fear

30:54Cinzia Baylis-Zullo: this is just my experience that trio with fear my mom told me to stay away yeah your fiona had

30:59Sammy Borras: real good intuition there like like that's actually really amazing intuition but i had my other friend yeah and you were sad yeah but yeah she was but in adult age leader was scary yeah i know actually like i went through it a lot like she was scary being in a friendship where like there's there is like the strong leader is like very scary everything you do like there's a leader it's like it's her it's so it's almost like it was her wedding every single day yeah it's like whatever you want it's the right decision and we just live and that was genuinely what it was in primary school wasn't it yeah even into older secondary school the leader we got you out of But let's picture this is an adult trio friendship.

31:37Sammy Borras: Wait, what was the question? Sorry. How to survive being the third wheel in a trio friendship? I think just have a bit of fun.

31:44Cinzia Baylis-Zullo: I don't think you should feel like you're a third wheel.

31:46Sammy Borras: I think if you're struggling to survive, is that a friendship? Exactly. Are you struggling to survive? Me and Lydia? Are you fighting for life?

31:53Cinzia Baylis-Zullo: Depends on the day. I think in adult friendships, in trio scenarios, there shouldn't be a feeling of being a third wheel. Of being a third wheel. Ultimately.

32:05Sammy Borras: Because if there is. It's weekend for Mary and her boy. Her man.

32:12Cinzia Baylis-Zullo: Holding hands. Oh, I think it's very sweet. Snuggling. I've never seen her like do that. It's weird. Yeah. You need to witness it. I need to see her like do that.

32:25Sammy Borras: She's literally like that. She's just like. just i can't picture like her doing that she burps and farts good that's healthy yeah and i'm like oh your girlfriend's disgusting i love her so much in love with me he's like i'm like this is i'm gonna get me out of here i'm a celebrity get me out of here

32:48Cinzia Baylis-Zullo: yeah so that's our trio friendships yeah yeah would you agree i like a trio like i like being

32:55Sammy Borras: in a group of three. Listen, I love a trio. I actually enjoy it because sometimes when it's a four, it can, then there is like, it could be a bit more segregation. But as a three, you're kind of forced to be like, no, we're a group. We're a three. Like we can't split up. There's no way to split up.

33:08Cinzia Baylis-Zullo: Because then someone's going to be on their own.

33:09Sammy Borras: Yeah, and that's, so if you are in a trio and you are being left alone, then okay, that's a red flag. They're not a real friend. Exactly. Because it shouldn't be like, bye Sophia, we're going to go shopping now. Yeah. See you later. It's like fending for herself alone.

33:22Cinzia Baylis-Zullo: like that's not right yeah i think that's the bottom line maybe that's what it is is yeah yeah you shouldn't really have to feel like you're a third wheel in a trio friendship i think school is a different territory and kind of part and parcel of the experience sometimes if you get caught in a trio sometimes it's just the way it is but in adulthood i don't think you want to feel

33:39Sammy Borras: left out in the trio because exactly we're such a small group we stay together the whole we ride at Don. Yeah, we ride.

34:13Cinzia Baylis-Zullo: Collection varies by location. See Lowe's.com for more details. Hi.

34:18Sammy Borras: Who here loves when their nails are perfectly done? Me. I'm Sarah Gibson Tuttle, and I started Olive in June because, let's be real, we all deserve to have gorgeous nails, but who wants to spend a fortune or half their day at the salon? And that's why I created the Manny System, so you can have that salon-perfect manicure right at home. And guess what? The best part? Each Manny only costs$2. Yep, you heard me. $2. No more$30,$40,$50 salon trips that eat up your day. Now you can paint your nails whenever you want, wherever you want. And trust me, you're going to be obsessed with your nails and everyone is going to ask you, where did you get your nails done?

34:57Sammy Borras: And here's a little something extra. Head over to oliveandjune.com and get 20 % off your first Manny system with code perfectmanny20 at oliveandjune.com slash perfectmanny20. That's code perfectmanny20 for 20 % off at oliveandjune.com slash perfectmanny20. You're all set for a nail glow up. Let's get those nails looking fabulous, shall we?

35:31Cinzia Baylis-Zullo: Okay, next dilemma. I don't want her back, but everyone else does. A friend. Interesting. I believe so. I have a best friend Susan who I had known for around eight years I was actually the one who introduced her to the other four girls in our friendship group so we became six yeah okay over time Susan started making comments about my insecurities and would often be passive aggressive towards me you're only here

36:00Sammy Borras: because I brought you in here don't forget don't fucking turn on me now yeah just because you're trying to show off just because you're trying to show off to Helen yeah don't try and put me I brought you into this. Yeah, I gave you these people. Oh no.

36:13Cinzia Baylis-Zullo: I didn't always say anything because I didn't want to create conflict. And I think I got used to brushing it off. The final situation happened because of my ex-boyfriend. Susan had been friends with him for about six months before she introduced us. We ended up dating for about a year and a half. The relationship ended because we weren't good for each other. During the breakup, he said some really horrible things to me and I ended up starting therapy afterwards. Susan knew how difficult that period had been for me. After we broke up, Susan stopped being friends with him as well. Okay, good. But several months later, she and another friend who I had introduced her to, Jane, new name unlocked.

36:54Sammy Borras: Wait, what was that name last week? We said we were going to keep using for the boy. Fuck, what was it? Humphrey? No. No, no, no.

37:01Cinzia Baylis-Zullo: It was powerful.

37:02Sammy Borras: it was fucking hell hemlet something hopefully like i'm thinking it was like gaston or something come on it was so powerful wasn't it wasn't it like some sort of like greek name no no no what was that name we actually have to know yeah it was so powerful victor was it victor no i don't think it was victor victor it was a strong name oh no we know come on because i said we're gonna

37:26Cinzia Baylis-Zullo: start using right because this is a girl's name this is jane true but i'm just trying to remember the things that we've said um jane kissed him that night so in front of susan right jane is a friend of susan's no jane's another friend that you introduced gene janey is also your friend so what the fuck jane you've introduced jane to susan i believe susan you're the reason susan's got all these mates you've given them to her but jane is also just our mate and jane's just gonna kiss our ex-boyfriend what the fuck Jane kissed him that night in front of Susan. They joked about keeping it from me.

38:03Sammy Borras: I bet they did. Including, oh no.

38:07Cinzia Baylis-Zullo: Including - Do they find it funny? Including writing something along the lines of what Sarah doesn't know won't hurt her in a group chat with our other friends. My other friends eventually told me what had happened. I confronted Susan because I felt betrayed by her actions and how she handled the situation. Things escalated massively. Susan became angry at the friend who told me and said some really hurtful things to her when I asked Susan to speak to her respectfully she turned on me too and said things like I had the spine of a worm wait what does that mean oh she said worms like not have spines oh it was an

38:42Sammy Borras: insult to you yeah your spine of a worm what even does that fucking mean Susan I think it means that

38:47Cinzia Baylis-Zullo: she's not got a spine because oh you've not got a backbone do worms not have spines oh but why do I need a backbone you've just kissed my ex-boyfriend but yeah but you just like you and jane just

38:56Sammy Borras: kissed my ex-boyfriend why do i need a spine i'm so confused i've only do what you look like a worm how about that and i was the last person she wanted to hear from susan respectfully respectfully susan you've just disrespected me yeah let's not turn the table now just because you've got a sharp tongue yeah like i'm not scared of you i'm not scared of you yeah

39:17Cinzia Baylis-Zullo: I'll smack that face, honey. Absolutely, honey. I'm not scared of you, honey. You damn hersey. You damn hersey. I'm not scared of you, honey. Eat it, blueberry. What's she on about? What's she on about? I believe blueberry would eat that worm, that's for sure. My dog's going to eat you. Release the wolf. It's blueberry. We're eating worms tonight. Jane then also messaged me.

39:43Sammy Borras: Sorry, yeah.

39:44Cinzia Baylis-Zullo: Called me a drama queen and told me that my... I thought you were going to say droggy. Call me a droggy.

39:49Sammy Borras: I was like, oh my God. She.

39:52Cinzia Baylis-Zullo: How? The cheek of Jane. I'm not a fucking drama queen. I'm not even finished. But listen to what Jane said. Jane's fucking mental. Jane said that her, my ex loved it when she slept with him. So she slept with him. Didn't even just kiss him. She slept with him and said he loved it.

40:06Sammy Borras: Jane, you're minging babes. Jane's the fucking devil. Jane. But also, do you think that's a flex sleeping with my ex? That's not a flex. That's not a flex. But he's disgusting. He's disgusting. And you're my friend. Like, what are you doing? Why is everyone so angry at me? Like, I'm the victim in this. You've all just slept with my ex-boyfriend.

40:22Cinzia Baylis-Zullo: After that, Susan left all of our group chats. Good. And we didn't speak for two and a half years. Hallelujah.

40:28Sammy Borras: Oh, so where's Jane? Jane isn't in the group. Jane, I think Jane's a bit of an outsider.

40:32Cinzia Baylis-Zullo: Yeah. During those, she's not the quarter six.

40:35Sammy Borras: But we still knew her.

40:38Cinzia Baylis-Zullo: During those two and a half years, I actually felt a strange sense of relief. I missed the good memories in her family, but I also realized that I had never felt completely comfortable being myself around Susan. I always had this feeling that things I told her could later be used against me. She often made remarks about my insecurities in front of other people, et cetera, et cetera. Okay.

40:58Sammy Borras: So it's complete like good riddance. No friend does that. Like you don't lock your friend's insecurities to then use it against them. Like that is terrifying behavior.

41:10Cinzia Baylis-Zullo: I think she was always more of a frenemy really. Yeah. I think you've realized it as you've got older.

41:16Sammy Borras: And because she's always been about, it's like, oh, that's just... Yeah, that's Susan and Jane. Just got to tiptoe around those lot. Yeah, you know what they can be like. So you should be in fear of your friends. Yeah, that's terrifying. Okay, well, I'm glad she left. So you feel a sense of calm and peace with her being gone.

41:35Cinzia Baylis-Zullo: So it's been two and a half years. Good. About a month ago, Susan reached out to the friend she had hurt the most and apologized. she said she wanted to reach out to the rest of us too you're not welcome here babe unfortunately well this is the problem right since then all of my friends have started following susan on instagram again and she's even been added to their close friend stories where's some loyalty when you need it you know i know and this is where i'm struggling i don't want susan back in my life i don't want to meet her i don't want to i don't feel ready or interested in forgiving her i'm completely okay with leaving the past where it is and moving on but I'm finding it really painful watching my closest friends reconnect with her yeah I know I don't own their friendships I would never tell them who they are allowed to be friends with and I genuinely understand why some of them might want closure especially because they were also very close to Susan I just feel myself distancing myself now from the friend group because of this I have told them how I feel about the whole situation many times and they say they understand where I'm coming from but they still want to keep contact fuck that's annoying but if the roles were reversed i know that i personally would never become friends again with someone who would treat one of my best friends in this way yeah so now i'm questioning a lot am i being unreasonable for feeling hurt by my friends reconnecting with her do i need to accept that their relationship with susan is separate from mine how do i protect my own boundaries without making my friends feel like they have to choose between us every time i think about susan i get a pit in my stomach and i get nauseous and now i feel like everyone else is getting to rewrite the ending of a story that was actually incredibly painful for me what would you girls do this is a picture of the gang

43:19Sammy Borras: everyone looks really sweet do we have a picture of jane no susan's on the far

43:24Cinzia Baylis-Zullo: on the right and there's three others it's kind of blurry but wait sorry you guys who's on the right that's susan

43:32Sammy Borras: oh god these are the girls okay okay right i think i am actually quite disappointed in the friends for being like well we we're gonna like welcome susan back like we're gonna chat to susan like we don't have a problem with i'm actually disappointed at that because i do think the unwritten rule is if you hate her i hate her if you hate him i hate him because what i completely agree that doesn't make any sense to me to be honest that was the core that's the foundation

44:00Cinzia Baylis-Zullo: of friendship like come on that's like we don't like the same people i hate helen she did this

44:05Sammy Borras: this and this and i'll go oh my god yeah yeah i'm not going near that yeah yeah it's disappointing

44:10Cinzia Baylis-Zullo: that your friends aren't like backing you and like really riding for you and they're kind of being like oh i know she hurt you but like she didn't hurt me so that's fine like because like okay i understand that but also like guys come on like you're my mates like you only know this

44:25Sammy Borras: girl through me like also like it was fucked if i understand if you guys have been friends since

44:29Cinzia Baylis-Zullo: we were you know two years old before birth maybe since before me yeah like she was my I bought this girl in yeah I think that's fucked yeah I think the loyalties are questionable

44:40Sammy Borras: there I do think though Susan has a history of lying manipulation I wouldn't be surprised if she's kind of like made some fibs to kind of sneak back in there yeah said some things about you or you know whatever like I think she's a good liar and I think she's a good faker and I think she's a good like trailer yeah i think she's like i don't know i think she's got a facade and i do think something will happen again where they're like shit this is actually why we all distance from susan and i do think time will just kind of you know show that again for you do you know what

45:16Cinzia Baylis-Zullo: i mean i think she will she can only keep up this like you know perfect friend act for so long exactly her true colors will come out with due time she ruined her friendships once exactly sorry susan

45:27Sammy Borras: but chances are she might then do it again. I think she will because she's not a good friend. She showed that to you and with how she acted with Jane and how she acted towards them as well. Like they need to remember how awful she was to them. I know. Fair enough if they want to give her a second chance. It's been two and a half years, whatever. You're not going to have anything to do with it. I'm glad. You stick to your good. No, sorry. If you guys are hanging out with Susan, I'm protecting my piece and I'm not having any part of that. Have a nice time. Yeah. Because for sure, Susan's true colors will show again and she will chat shit about them.

45:58Sammy Borras: She will upset them. She will, you know, chat about their insecurities again, kiss one of their boyfriends and they will remember why they shouldn't be friends with Susan.

46:05Cinzia Baylis-Zullo: And you've told your friends that you're not comfortable. You've done all that you can do. Let her act. Let her like make her own mistakes, you know, like she's going to mess it up for you. And she will. Yeah.

46:16Sammy Borras: I feel like I know a Susan and I know 100 % she's going to show her true colors again. And you'll be like, oh. And you can just be, you can just be quietly like, you guys aren't seeing Susan anymore oh okay it's a shame isn't it but we could have figured that out three years ago couldn't we but sometimes some people have just got to let them do what they want

46:37Cinzia Baylis-Zullo: but I think you stick to your guns

46:39Sammy Borras: don't feel the pressure from them to be like oh Susan's fine now she's being so you know like Susan says we're all invited to this party no sorry you've got your boundaries stick to them exactly I'd rather be at home with my dog with whatever you know than have to hang out with evil Susan. Yeah. Malice Susan. Yeah. She's actually sounds scary, but her true colors will show out again. Good luck. You got this. You've got this. You really do. Surviving Susan. Like you don't ever have to see her again. Surviving Susan 101. You know, which is great. You've made that decision. Stand on it. Yeah.

47:15Cinzia Baylis-Zullo: Stand in our business.

47:15Sammy Borras: And remind yourself, you know, like when your friends are maybe hanging out with Susan, as they might do, remind yourself, I don't want to hang out with Susan. Like I have no FOMO because I don't want to be a part of that. Yes, they all are maybe looking like they're having a great time on social media, but you know the truth of the reality. Like, do you know what I mean? Just remind yourself of the truth, no matter how much they might make it look with pictures or whatever. Do you know what I mean?

47:46Sammy Borras: Okay. Dilemma number three, Blueberry. am I the asshole for making her drive

47:59Cinzia Baylis-Zullo: guilty guilty as charged guilty as charged okay well I've got a lot to say about this speak your truth come on your mic no I just feel like I'm gonna be able to offer some wisdom I've never forced you to drive me anywhere no I've never felt forced to drive anywhere you see that's a friendship i'd always rather drive yes always if i could drive would you want

48:21Sammy Borras: me to drive um or would you like yeah say i if we were going say i could drive and i was actually a good driver yeah would you want me to drive or would you or would you be like actually i'd rather

48:33Cinzia Baylis-Zullo: have my hands on the wheel um it'd be quite nice if you drive oh okay so here's a bit of truth coming out then well if we were going on like you know a nice weekend somewhere you know I could drive there you could drive back right share the driving yeah the driving yeah so the

48:49Sammy Borras: drive yeah I can do that I've got a lot of I like

48:53Cinzia Baylis-Zullo: driving I'm always happy to drive yeah I don't see it as a chore

48:57Sammy Borras: and you are safe in Sevilla's car

48:59Cinzia Baylis-Zullo: I'm a great I'm a great driver

49:01Sammy Borras: I'm a very great driver she's safe like you actually are safe in Sevilla's car

49:06Cinzia Baylis-Zullo: like thank you I'm really glad

49:07Sammy Borras: you feel that way no you've always been a good driver thank you Fiona and that's the part of reason why I don't want to drive because I'm not gonna be I'm gonna be I'm not gonna be safe on the roads I'm just gonna be too scared I've not

49:17Cinzia Baylis-Zullo: got that confidence we could bring Fiona out of retirement and she could give you a spin

49:21Sammy Borras: yeah yeah sure what if she's lost her touch I think Fiona's still got it you know she's a granny now she's sharp as a whip that's true her mind's still sharp yeah mine's still sharp dementia yet you know yeah she's young flirty and thriving absolutely so as Sarah say am I the asshole for making her drive okay so someone's upset that you're not driving or whatever petrol arguments incoming that's what it is isn't it that's what it is it's like actually i filled up the fucking tank and that cost me 50 quid yeah and you've not even offered like to give me 10 pounds for that yeah you know like all my money that's like valid on petrol yeah that's actually a valid yeah yeah long-time listener of the pod listened every episode since 2021 and praying for A US tour one day.

50:06Sammy Borras: We're in America. You've heard a middle of our moods. Wow. I have an issue about how to help my sister. I hope you can offer some insight. My sister and I are both in our 20s and live at home with our parents. I model. Wow. Same. Yeah, me too. Us too. That's so weird. We have that in common. Do you need some tips? And I'm a sports coach, so I travel all the time from our hometown to both New York and LA. Oh, my God. I don't know. Goals. Many times.

50:34Cinzia Baylis-Zullo: So much traveling this month. Yeah. Just got to go to LA. I got to shoot on Monday. Like, you know, the shoot on Thursday.

50:40Sammy Borras: Spray tan on Wednesday. Vegas Friday. Vegas Friday. Busy week. Many times throughout the month. I moved home to save money before I moved up to NY. Nice. Goals. Goals. However, here is where my dilemma lies. My sister refuses to drive anywhere. Oh, so is she not even wanting to come visit you? Oh, okay. or I'm not sure because we live together maybe not wait she moved back she moved back in after finishing grad school in 2024 okay so we're all at home 2024 okay yeah so for a couple years we've been back home I thought you meant 2004 I was like whoa long time how old are we two decades and has been job hunting since then but with no avail she doesn't really have any friends either and wants to go with me wherever I go which I enjoy most of the time I love her deeply but without question I end up I end up driving us everywhere.

51:35Sammy Borras: Right. She refuses to get on the highway. Will take weird ways to avoid busy roads. She's an anxious driver. She's an anxious driver. She doesn't want to go on the motorway. She's an anxious driver. But you're thinking, I want to get there. Like, if you're going to take these fucking silly roads, I'll just drive. I'll just drive. But then you're pissed. Life is a highway.

51:55Cinzia Baylis-Zullo: Yeah.

51:56Sammy Borras: But then you're pissed because you're having to drive because you don't want to drive. Yeah.

51:59Cinzia Baylis-Zullo: Well, like, you can just sit there on your phone.

52:01Sammy Borras: Like, I've got to drive. Yeah. when Sophia had to drive for Coachella that you didn't like that did you?

52:06Cinzia Baylis-Zullo: Oh my god guys no.

52:07Sammy Borras: But we you know we tried to offer support but we'd be on but we'd be falling asleep at the edge. We'd be falling asleep. Just driving with a car full of sleeping people is just like you know

52:16Cinzia Baylis-Zullo: what? I apologize because I did not try to stay away. No there's no apology needed but I quite liked it because I thought wow they must feel really safe because they've fallen asleep. So it actually made me feel quite like motherly. I've got this. Maternal. Mother hen yeah I was like i'm getting the kids home safe they're all asleep they're not alert like like with that man that one yeah when i was in tears yeah but that was some late night driving honey on those palm springs highways i wish i could offer some help with that but i couldn't yeah that's okay

52:47Sammy Borras: happy to drive absolutely well you know you we don't put you to do that anymore yes okay so she refuses to get on the highway will take weird ways to avoid busy roads bridges rain will not drive anywhere that takes over 20 minutes or where there is traffic okay she's an anxious driver yeah i pay for her insurance to be able to drive my car um and she's never filled up my gas tank once i told her yeah all she has to do is be like i'll pay for the gas i think this is like she doesn't

53:17Cinzia Baylis-Zullo: have a job oh yeah i think it's older sister younger sister dynamic yeah you're the older sister yeah she just thinks you've got this you've got your job she trusts you like i'm the younger

53:27Sammy Borras: a sister like i can't be doing that i haven't got a job right now yeah well yeah she probably doesn't realize that it bothers you yeah because she thinks like you as the older sister like you just take on the responsibility yeah yeah our drivers like i'll fill up the tank like yeah at the end of the day you've got a job and she doesn't yeah and i i think when it's like sibling friendship's different because like you're more of an equal footing yeah and it's like you wouldn't be like well you've got to you make more money than me and i yeah it's different maybe you would But with siblings, it'd be very much like when Marianna was a uni student.

54:00Sammy Borras: I'd be like, oh, whatever. Obviously, you. Not that she would ever offer anyway. Actually, she did pay for a couple of taxes this weekend. Wow.

54:09Cinzia Baylis-Zullo: Yeah. Nice.

54:11Sammy Borras: Because she does have a job.

54:12Cinzia Baylis-Zullo: Yes. She's a teacher.

54:13Sammy Borras: I forget she's a grown-up. She has a credit card. Like a card. She has a credit card. Well, not a credit card, but she has a card. She's teaching at you. She has Apple Pay. Yeah, of course. I've seen the checks she gets from that primary school. Listen, Marianna's always been a high earner. And you know what? She's a very good saver.

54:25Cinzia Baylis-Zullo: She's a very good saver. She has got a real big fat savings car. And she would have that nice job. Well, we'd left school by then, but she would have that Asda job. On her Sunday rate. Yeah.

54:36Sammy Borras: Asda Heisen Green, fucking hell,£20 an hour. She was raking it in. Raking it in. Yeah. And she would save every single penny. She only buys clothes on vintage,£2,£1. Yeah. She's a smart saver. Yeah. And then obviously she'd use, you know, other people, she'd still ask for money from her parents. Yeah. Even though she knew she had money. Do you know what I mean? She kept it quiet. Smart. You know, she moves smart. She's a businesswoman. Yeah, she is. Yeah, she's savvy. She's a smart lady. And she wants to come to Coachella with us. I bet she does. I said, show me the money. I said, I'm not your piggy bank.

55:06Sammy Borras: I said, show me the money. Quick cash grab. Yeah. Transfer me the money and we can song it out. Show me the money, honey. Right. Okay. So you're getting a bit pissed off that you feel like you're driving her everywhere. She's not offering to fill up the gas, even though you are paying for her to be insured on your car so that she can drive it. Yeah. um i understand that she doesn't fill my tank but in return she needs to drive it puts my parents parents in an awkward situation when i have to travel because it's assumed she will not drive to pick me up from the airport or train station i let my parents have my car when i'm out of town otherwise i drive myself okay so you're thinking at least can pick me up from the airport in my car but she's she won't this morning she slammed the door in my face and told me she should get a choice in how and when she drives which i kind of disagree with for example today she asked to come with me to make a return at a store and said she'd only drive going there but nowhere else it would be 15 minutes no traffic to get up there but where we live it's 45 it's always 45 to get back during the day so of course if she chose she'd give me the hard route normally she'd make us drive anywhere no matter how inconvenient it is for the rest of us you're just getting very triggered by she's not offering to drive yeah yeah yeah she's like i'll only do the 15 minute drive i'm not doing the 45 minute drive back yeah yeah younger sibling energy it very much is yeah because i'd be like i'd be like no you're fucking like yeah it's like come on do something for me for once like yeah because like what is her main reason like what is her reason like if she's scared fine let me know that you're anxious and scared and you i think it's obvious she's an anxious driver yeah but it should be she's not saying maybe she's not saying that it just she's like no i don't do bridges i don't do traffic and i don't do i don't do motorways also like in america like everywhere's a motor everyone is a fucking yeah everything's four lanes yeah so my main issue is that i worry for her my main issue is that i worry for her once or if she gets a job about being able to transition to work life okay so now it's actually now you're like you ain't gonna survive in the real world you can't even be able to survive adulthood

57:15Cinzia Baylis-Zullo: but she will though she's just she will when she's forced into it right now you're almost like a crutch for her enabling it she doesn't need to do that she doesn't need to do this because she's got you and she can do this blah blah blah like that's what it is if if she was the eldest like she would be doing all these things but she's not had to so she so she isn't

57:36Sammy Borras: yeah she said for any of her recent job interviews my mum drove her to them as well i worked a full-time corporate job before i became a model and know how tiring the commute can be but she hasn't worked for going on two years and only worked her summer job for a month before quitting when she was in college she'll be fine she'll find her she's just she's living la vida a local she's thinking mom drive me yes yes yes my my gorgeous little baby of course who's not flown the nest exactly i feel like i shouldn't have to mentally prepare her to be able to get to even drive up to our local grocery store without an argument she gets triggered by my dad when it comes to things like this as it usually results in her crying and not speaking to me for the rest of the day my mom on the other hand will never be firm with her it's because she's the baby yeah this is actually mariana baylor solo she also has popped a tie in my car before and got a speeding ticket that i made her pay i've never done either before so i don't know if it's a shame thing combined with fear i just don't know what to do to get her out of this rut and don't want her to slip through the cracks please at pics attached of us both i'm the one with lighter hair love you girls to death i worried susan oh wow look you've got like being a big sister is a lot of responsibility you feel like you have to prepare your younger siblings so what's to come gorgeous

58:57Cinzia Baylis-Zullo: look at sarah oh oh model of course how can we forget this is a model we have a model in our

59:05Sammy Borras: mix listen she looks up to you so much she's like oh my god my older sister is a model she is driving she drives she's making all this money like she's so independent she's wicked sweet and she doesn't like if she's gonna make you drive yeah she's gonna make you drive she doesn't have to because she's the younger sister she doesn't want that responsibility i think it's part of that

59:24Cinzia Baylis-Zullo: i mean it does sound you know just from a driving perspective it does sound like she needs to get

59:30Sammy Borras: her confidence up with her driving maybe take her out into the country roads like i do like yeah i

59:35Cinzia Baylis-Zullo: like yeah when you first pass it's like oh motorway like scary scary scary scary like it's almost like you need to take her out on like a couple like nice lessons like go to a drive through go get a coffee and be like okay right today we're gonna con we're gonna do this yeah she just needs to like get more confident with her driving and then because to be to be like oh i can't do that and i don't want to do that i don't want to do that like she really she needs to build up her confidence she's an anxious driver it's like she needs a couple more lessons or she needs a bit more like you need to take her out and be like we're gonna do this it's gonna be fine

1:00:06Sammy Borras: and it sounds like she's not told you why she doesn't want to drive she's just kind of like well i'm not doing that like i'm not doing that but if she actually sat you down was like look listen like i'm actually really anxious on the roads yeah like after i got that speeding ticket at that time like i really don't want that to happen again in your car and like i'm actually don't really like a lot when it's busy and there's traffic i feel a lot of pressure i don't like it then you'll be like right okay then let's go out let's hit the road yeah and be like okay well let's get your confidence up maybe we'll pay for a couple more lessons yeah to build up your confidence past plus yes there you go to get more confidence on the road so that when i do leave and move out in a couple of months i'm moving to new york because i'm a model you can drive you can and not have to rely on mom yeah it's just an older sister thing and it's really sweet that you're worrying about her you know going into the real world I do kind of think like by you moving away I kind of think she will blossom I agree I think she admires you so much she's like anything Sarah does is is incredible whatever like she she's kind of like relying on you for like everything right now exactly once you move she'll have to step up and she'll have to become she'll be forced

1:01:10Cinzia Baylis-Zullo: to and I think she'll be like all the better for it and I think you'll come back and be like oh my

1:01:14Sammy Borras: god but I do understand like when you've got a younger sibling and the and your mom is like that they won't stand up to the younger sibling because it's their baby and they're like la la um but once you move out I think she will come into her own yeah me too and she'll have to like find ways to help herself because sometimes your mom's gonna be busy and you're not even there yeah your dad's gonna be out of work and she'll be left with no choice yeah and she'll just do it

1:01:36Cinzia Baylis-Zullo: and she'll be like, oh, that wasn't so bad.

1:01:37Sammy Borras: Yes, and she'll just be forced. Yeah. Good luck.

1:01:40Cinzia Baylis-Zullo: Okay, star of the week. Ah. I'd like to nominate my fiance, Scott.

1:01:48Sammy Borras: Scott. Scott. Scotty T.

1:01:50Cinzia Baylis-Zullo: As star of the week. Scotty T, I'm about to. We're getting married in just two weeks and throughout this whole process, he's been involved from helping with DIY, keeping us in budget, but most importantly, keeping me calm. Despite a stressful few months due to external issues, we've remained in our love bubble and that is mainly down to him very excited and cannot wait to marry the love of my life scott and sarah no picture of scott no picture of scott scott's a faceless man scott shout out congrats on the wedding guys in a couple weeks time is ticking yeah bond wedding day i hope it goes wedding day a beautiful blushing bride it's going to be best day ever thank you for holding it down scott thank you we appreciate you well thank you guys so much listening to this week's episode if you have a dilemma or a star of the week entry you can email it to hello at the girls bathroom.com follow us on instagram tiktok and youtube and we'll see you

1:02:41Sammy Borras: on monday and wednesday see you later thank you cha-ching that's the sound of lowe's labor day savings get up to 45 off select major

1:03:00Cinzia Baylis-Zullo: appliances and save up to an additional$100 on select laundry pairs. Plus, get three bags of Miracle-Gro.75 cubic foot garden soil for just$10. Labor Day deals are on now at Lowe's. In-store and online. Valid through 9-9. While supplies last. Selection varies by location. See Lowe's.com for more details. The soil offer excludes Alaska and Hawaii. This is Hannah Burner from Giggly Squad. O-Pill is the first over-the-counter daily birth control pill available in the U.S. let's be real getting a birth control prescription is not always easy and it's so much admin in fact about a third of women face barriers to access prescription birth control between scheduling appointments missing work class or just trying to exist it's a lot but now opil is putting birth control in our control opil is a daily birth control that's fda approved full prescription strength and estrogen free and 98 effective when used as directed grab it online or at most major retailers no prescription or doctor's appointment needed.

1:04:00Cinzia Baylis-Zullo: So if you're thinking about birth control, check out Opill to see if it's right for you. Use code Giggly for 25 % off your first month of Opill at O-P-I-L-L dot com.

1:04:10Sammy Borras: That's code Giggly at O-P-I-L-L dot com. Birth control in your control. We love to see it. Rothy's is up to something big. The famous Flats brand has reimagined their iconic pointe shoe to be better than ever. To celebrate its 10th anniversary, Rothy's has made the point even more beautiful and comfortable than before. Every closet needs a little black flat and Rothy's makes the best one of all. Discover the point at rothys.com and learn why this timeless shoe is so special. That's R-O-T-H-Y-S dot com.

1:04:43Cinzia Baylis-Zullo: Here's a tip for you. There's a podcast out there with fans waiting to be your next customer. They tune in every week, They trust the host. And that host wants to talk about brands like yours in their own words to their audience. The problem is, you just haven't been introduced yet. We're Acast, where that introduction happens. As the world's largest podcast marketplace, we let you browse shows, see who's listening, and book host-read sponsorships or run your own ads all from one platform. Transparent pricing, real-time data, complete control. Start advertising on podcasts by visiting a cast.com slash advertise.