Girl Talk: My man thinks my bff's IN LOVE with me

0:00Hey guys, it's Paige from Giggly Squad. Okay, can we all agree that hosting is so much fun? And I really do love it. Every weekend, it's come over for snacks, let's make dinner together, and somehow the second you put out a fruit platter, it seems that bugs show up before your friends do. This is why I have to have my Zeevo flying insect trap. You plug it in and you let it do all the work. It's specially designed blue and UV light attracts the bugs you didn't know you had and wow did we have a lot like house flies fruit flies gnats and then with zivo bam next thing you know the pests are caught in the sticky cartridge and away from your yummy treats without any mess or strong odors the best part is the design is actually sleek and curved so it hides the bugs it catches keeping them out of sight and when the cartridge is full you just grab the no mess tab throw it in the trash pop in a new cartridge and then you're done no mess no stress So whether you're hosting a dinner party or spending an afternoon baking treats with all your friends, and you want to focus on hosting and not constantly swatting at bugs, Zeevo has you covered with 24-7 bug protection.

1:07Plug in a Zeevo flying insect trap so you can work smarter, not harder, and actually enjoy your time at home. Thank you for calling the Bombas Comfort Line. Bombas make socks, slippers, tees, and underwear made with the highest quality materials. Press 1 for comfort, 2 for style, 3 for donation. you chose style bombas is styles for whatever you enjoy you can run in bombas lounge in bombas dress them up dress them down but always give back in bombas because with every item purchased another is donated bombas comfort worth calling for go to bombas.com audio and use code audio for 20 off your first purchase that's b-o-m-b-a-s.com and use code audio they are convinced that she's wanting more than a friendship

1:52what she's in love with you they think she's in love with you oh that's an avenue we haven't explored that's an avenue i did not consider you know the drama is never ending don't let it get the best of you A big fan for you, buddy. Wednesday, everybody. How was everyone? We're all doing well, thank you. I'd like to officially let everyone know that the word of the week is freakazoid. Do you agree? I thought you were going to say wiggler. Freakazoid. Freakazoid. Freak of the week. Freakazoid. I like it. Freakazoid. I think that should be the word of the episode. Okay. And we should try and drop it.

2:38Take a shot every time we say Freakazoid. Yes. But it's girl talk. Oh, but it might be used. Yeah, maybe it will be used. Because Freakazoid exists in all facets, all forms. True, true. You're looking very green and fresh today, chants. Yeah, well, I'm really channeling the matcha vibes. I'm really channeling the July vibes, the Sophia's birthday today vibes. Ah! I should technically be older and wiser in this episode. True. But movie magic, you know, I'm actually currently in Mallorca. Yeah, we should get some extra special advice from you today. Yeah, we should. Hopefully I'll be in the right zone.

3:17Absolutely. Will you both screw your head on? Would you like to dive in straight away? Oh, Sophia, I would love nothing more. Okay. Well, it is Girl Talk, everybody. So happy Wednesday. I hope everyone is enjoying their, I hope summer is summering. And everyone is enjoying their summer plans. I hope the weather is weathering. I hope the weather is weathering. You know, because June, it had a few rainy fucking days. And it's just like, rain, rain, go away, come again another day. Come again. Come again. May was full of optimism and full of hope. Absolutely it was. June went a bit downhill. But I'm hoping for July that it's good things, guys.

3:53Because May was when I was like decking out my balcony because of those fucking heat. I was like, I've got to get ready for July. I was like, oh my God, it's COVID summer. Let's go. Yeah. And then the rain came. Yeah. Rain, rain, go away. But hopefully the July-ness is thriving. So we hope you guys are all enjoying it. I mean, who knows? Maybe some of you are listening to the Sun or Sun lounger. Maybe some of you are at the beach right now. Maybe some of you have had your girls' holidays. Hopefully they won't. Maybe we're getting ready to go out on our girls' holiday. Hendus. Yeah. Weddings. Weddings.

4:24Aw.

4:34so it is girl talk and our question of the week this week we thought we were cute things positive summer vibes i think this is really lovely and we've got what's the most iconic girl code moment from your friendship group oh these are going to be beautiful they're going to fill me with so much joy and happiness when we all turn up in the same outfit jeans and a nice top we order these cute matching teas from cherry kitten for pride every year teas teas tea bags bringing all info from all parties together to catch a cheetah absolutely because the thing is it's like liars always feel feel like they can they can lie and then well my friend was there they don't think people talk Exactly.

5:18They don't think people talk and discuss. A girl was bullying me at sixth form, like really bad. So my bestie hooked up with her boyfriend. Absolutely. Okay. You know what? I mean, I don't condone, you know, things like that. I mean, if you hate them, we hate them. No questions asked. I thought when you said it, I thought you said bestie gave her a right hook. I was like, oh, slap. No, well, a hook is a punch. Yeah. Yeah. That could do damage. Break the jaw. me and all my friends egged this guy's car because he cheated on our other friend that is so far I hope one day we'll put it out in the universe that we get to egg someone's car one day that would be nice hopefully and baked beans yeah hopefully you know maybe like I want to go like undercover me too I would thoroughly enjoy that I mean these girls say we have an annual hot tub and spa night oh ladies annual that sounds really like a little trip to Eden Hall a trip to Centre Park spa Oh, Aquasana.

6:16Penta Parks has a great spa. Aquasana. Is that what it's called? Absolutely. It's lovely. It's really nice. Nice outdoor hot tubs. They've done them all up, I fear. Yeah. All the Aquasanas. Aquasana. I mean, this is a classic part of girlhood and it also is the name of the podcast, going to the toilet as a group. Even if we just want to stare at ourselves in the mirror and not use the toilet. Minus Sophia's always first port of call. If we're overwhelmed, don't know where we're going. Yes. Showed up. Like we're here, let's go to the toilet first, regroup. Yeah. Always. always yeah then what floor let's get in let's just go to the toilet yeah look let's just get in go to the fucking toilet I don't even need a way you're just gonna stand there look in the mirror yeah take a deep breath and then re-enter yeah regroup rephrase but always to empty the bladder is always good because it's like we're here we may as well we may as well may as well undo the bodysuit we're here and then it's like there's always a lot of we to come out so right what are some other iconic girl code moments for your friendship groups besties boyfriend wanted to propose I made sure it was on the weekend she gets her nails done.

7:15Oh, you guys. It's really sweet. Yes, yes. I heavily suggest you do the French. I heavily suggest. I heavily suggest. She's like, well, I was actually thinking like neon chrome. Yeah, but mix it up. I might do a blue nail. No. What about blue chrome? You know, it's me and I was like, I don't think that's a good idea here, girl. I think it's always nice when the whole friendship groups gets blocked by an ex. Do you know what I mean? That's when you know you did a good job. Absolutely. That's when you know you best eat hard. That's when you know that it's like, we're as one. I found the perfect one to wrap this up.

7:44Okay. Meeting my besties from the Patreon group chat. I just choked on Monday girls. They literally took Chintzy's breath away. That actually took my breath. How sweet is that? How sweet is that? Beautiful. That is an iconic moment. Our angels, how'd you get to be so fly? How'd you get to shine so bright? Oh my God, help me. Our iconic moment is meeting Cody Simpson. oh my god not the cough for turning iconic moment of life oh coders i miss you cody right it's girl talk he doesn't miss let's get it i think he does he doesn't follow us on instagram no that was he doesn't want to keep up with our lives i understand also i've got a real fatal mishap on my hand just before we get into it quick disclaimer just to say we are not doctors we are not professionals we do not actually know what we are talking about this is a light-hearted space okay don't take what we say literally because we could be wrong yeah and if there's anything serious if there's anything you feel like you're seriously struggling with please contact a gp a professional because that is not us we're just girls girls and boys just like you we're just trying to get through life as well not professionals enjoy the episode

8:59right okay so everyone needs to just cast their minds back a little bit absolutely to a few weeks ago when we were speaking about a warning message if you could send a warning message to like your ex's new girlfriend would you do that yeah we spoke about like the facebook page about like are we dating the same guy yeah and we did ask for call outs way back then if you've ever received a warning message from a girl being like hey i've seen you're maybe seeing this guy just to let you know yada yada yada he's a freakazoid he's a freakazoid and we said yeah if you've had that before if you experienced that yeah let us know and we've got a bit of a dilemma similar in response to that right so she said warning signs or jealous friend right i have been dating a guy for three months okay he's very sweet and kind and the chemistry is unmatched good after being single for three years and finally getting to the stage where i was content in being alone he comes along and shows nothing but green flags that's lovely it's always when you least expect that they always It's ordinarily expected.

10:04Just hang on in there, guys. However, I have a friend. Let's call her Carol. Enter Carol, stage left. All right, Carol. Quite like Carol. Yeah, me too. Carol has previously had a fling with this guy five years ago, and he was very upfront and honest with me about it due to the fact that he saw we were together on Instagram. I had a picture with her on my Instagram grid and therefore close enough friends to mention it to me first. I appreciate that. So Carol is a friend of yours. How close are you and Carol? I'm assuming you're part of maybe a bigger group. Right. It's obviously a mutual, right?

10:44Yeah. And I just thought, oh, Carol follows this girl. About five years ago, I was seeing Carol. I mean, five years is quite soon. I was going to say it's quite a while. Do you want me to date your ex from five years ago then? No, but we're best friends. I'm not getting Carol and Susan being BFFs but even if one of your mates this loose acquaintance here's Brian yeah he's back fucking panic attacks like it's not yeah it's not okay but maybe you guys let's get the let's get the details on yours and Carol's friendship but I guess from his part I appreciate him bringing it to you yeah well I'm thinking you obviously aren't that close because you didn't know that this guy had dated Carol but they have a picture together on Instagram well Carol and Susan at sarah like i don't have it i've got pictures of no one apart from you yeah and you've got pictures of yourself so like yeah i only got pictures of myself

11:40yeah so it's like we at one point posed for our pictures together that means we're like mates yeah but then if it's a big group i don't really know you what if someone else has tagged us in the same thing yeah yeah yeah yeah you're right carol is and always has been a friend that you keep at arm's length oh i see she is always in people's business so that means she doesn't like carol and the type that's a nice way of saying that you don't like her and the type of person you know is sharing yours when you leave her right she came around to my house for a catch-up oh you are quite close yeah sarah that doesn't sound like arm's length to me maybe it's just her party friend it's like i don't tell you the details of my life yeah don't really tell you what i'm up to but you make me laugh carol maybe and i'll put the kettle on for yeah maybe she maybe she works at melise cookies and she gives you cookies oh that would be nice she came around to my house for a catch-up and inevitably asked me who i've been seeing as she had recently seen a soft launch of his arm on an instagram story so she's whose elbows that sarah yeah i said his name and her face turned white you're joking she had nothing this is literally like a question of the week all that time ago yeah it is she had nothing good to say about this man saying he was a love bomber, a horrible person.

12:53And then she proceeded to tell me he ghosted her after a while and it really upset her. She had explained that she wanted something more and he left her feeling like she was not enough and it hurt her. Oh, poor Carol. I immediately comforted her and explained that I was happy that she told me her experience with him and I would take it on board and I'm sorry that she felt that way. Later that evening, I saw him and explained what had happened and he was apologetic for the fact that he had upset her and he had no idea it was that deep. However, explained that he only spent - Because he wasn't bothered, obviously.

13:27He only spent one night with her and had seen her at mutual gatherings a few times after that, but said that Carol was very clingy at the time and pretty much had called him her boyfriend from their first meet. Right. He explained it was five years ago. He was a bit more of a lad's lad back then, but made it clear to her it was not going to ever be a relationship. So Carol fell hard and fast and he always just saw it as this like casual thing. There was a miscommunication there. I have decided to move past it and give the benefit of the doubt in this situation purely because of the timeline and because we all know Carol can be a lot and has been known to try and force men into more serious situations with her in the past.

14:09I have, however, still decided to keep my wits about me and tread carefully. yeah everyone has a past and until this man shows me any red flags i will judge him for myself carol has since been viewing every story and texting me every day asking if he has had anything more to say about the matter and seems very interested now in my business which could be awkward as me as as me and him progress what would you do with this thanks girls i love you so much this is thank you sir this is exactly what this is the exact call out that we asked for do you act on someone else's experience and what they're telling you or do you well yourself well this has actually come a great time i saw a tiktok yesterday okay and it was you know in america was like hey excuse me are you guys a couple it's like me oh my god are you that guy yeah yes it was that from yesterday oh yeah and it was this couple they were gorgeous it was like you're a couple yeah well you know what's the thing he loved most about how he was really sweet said some nice things like i feel safe i feel all of this and they were like really loved them the top comment was um wow like didn't expect to see my like nasa nasa nasa abusive

15:29narcissistic um cheating ex on my tiktok today but look it was a while ago um he seems happy like all the best wow but then people were kind of analyzing his behavior and uh when asked like what's your favorite thing about her it was all things about how he felt it wasn't actually things about her do you know what i mean like oh well she makes me feel secure and it wasn't like his favorite things about her do you know what i mean yeah yeah um that's very critical though yeah i mean he was caught off guard whatever but yeah the top comment was the ex saying he was my narcissistic cheating ex. But then it appeared that our lady Sarah was really happy and in love and really content with Brian.

16:10So it does show that people can change. Over time, you know, if some relationships aren't right, they can be. But I'm not defending, no, I'm not defending this guy. So obviously we don't know him. But do you know what I mean? I understand what you mean, yeah. Do you? And I also do think that - But this isn't a relay of his life. Yeah, I mean, I do think he's had quite a good response. He hasn't tried to like, deny it he was very upfront and honest about the fact that oh I've seen that you know Carol BT dubs I did have a thing with Carol five years ago um so I like that he's been upfront and yeah I think look you've got you've got to make your your own judgment calls like because it's that whole thing of like you can't regret anything because it's if if it's what you wanted to do at the time and I fear if you stop seeing him now you probably end up going back to him you probably be pissed off at carol i mean if i wasn't sound like you're really that fond of carol if i was carol i'd be crashing out way more than surely it yeah right now she's just checking in but i'd be i don't really know how close you guys are if you guys are super close then i don't think you should really be going any further with this i don't think you should well i know because i because the thing is is like she was really she she expressed to you i was really hurt by this guy you know i felt this kind of way he rejected me he goes to me la la la and she's thinking oh it was five years ago he's been so nice and so kind to me but then are we disregarding girl code maybe obviously Sarah is disregarding girl code I guess but then I fear you can't you kind of need to cut Carol off it's one or the other I would think I think I fear it's like your friendship or the guy in this instance I'm not even sure if she likes Carol doesn't sound like you keep her arms left doesn't sound like you like Carol and if you're okay with going after her ex then you don't like Carol then you don't like Carol because you know if you if you respected you know your friend any kind of even it was even even if it was ex-friend when they were 14 i go i'm not touching him with a fucking barge ball or even just a situation talky talky yeah even just a one night even just a one night stand for me i go oh well his willy's been in your vagina like i don't want to go name him but so obviously you're not bothered about miss carol layer off the hawk yeah i think it's good that she told you yeah but i think it's unfair to keep her updated on your guys is like updating lives because obviously it's hurting her and it's reminding her of a time when she was like rejected and ghosted.

18:31But she's asking. But yeah. But it's only because she's like, I'd ask too, I fear. Would you? No. But do you know what I mean? Like in, like she's, maybe she, I would check in with Carol. I don't know if Carol's doing too well. Sorry to laugh, Carol. But I don't think Carol's doing too well. I wouldn't be because what if she really saw you as a great friend and she expressed to you how badly this guy broke a heart and you're still seeing him. But absolutely, you can make your own choice but I think Carol needs to be let off the hook. I'd agree actually, yeah. I'm a bit worried about Carol. What was she asking us here?

19:08She was just saying like, you know, she's had that experience where she has had a warning from someone and she's choosing to ignore it. So like, is she doing the right thing? Let's take out the, can I speak? Let's take out the aspect of that carol is your mate let's just let's just if we just look at it as a girl who was with the guy five years ago the girl who was with like we don't care about carol carol doesn't exist you don't care about carol so we're not going to care about carol so poor carol she is sorry carol let's just see as yeah this girl's presented you look five years ago this guy ghosted me he you know was not i i asked for something more he didn't want it la la la he said his side of the story.

19:52Yeah. You're treading with caution. Yeah. But I also do appreciate like five years is a long time ago. Yeah. And like, if, if someone, if I met a guy and someone and a girl said to me like, Oh, five years ago, like, yeah, well, yeah, five years ago, we probably wouldn't have been compatible, but a lot has happened in five years. Like you grow it. Like if that was, you know, a 25 year old versus a 30 year old, that's a big chunk of time, even 20 to 25, like you and yourself know how much you can change in five years and i would like to think you know that if i started dating someone now and then an ex from five years ago said oh she's fucking this and she's fucking that i'd be like whoa whoa whoa whoa you don't know me anymore that was five years ago you freak azoid yeah so yeah i don't i believe that you know he's not that guy that he was i yeah and you're treading with caution and you're treading with caution and you're very aware and you're self-aware and you're and you're taking this slowly because also like we we probably did things five years ago in relationships that we never do today.

20:51Exactly. It's just one of them. Five years is a long time. It's a big old chunk of time. Really? Your dilemma was, that was two, two facets of the dilemma, but you didn't ask if you should not see him. She's not worried about the friend. You're not worried about your friendship. That's absolutely fine, Sarah. You know, thank you for sharing. We wanted a real life story. I mean, do you invite Carol to the wedding? I fear not. I think you should maybe just kind of cut Carol off. Yeah. I think Carol doesn't need to know about her exes because maybe she really did like this well it sounds like she really liked this guy poor carol poor carol but thanks for sharing sarah happy endeavors sarah

21:31right we have one more quick story to share with a similar instance just to compare because i i think they'll be different me too it will it will and it's interesting yeah because also like god forbid this happens to one of you lot in the future we need we need to know how to navigate We need to know how to proceed. So Sarah here says, another Sarah says, I got added to a group chat with Brian's ex to warn me about him. Can you imagine that? Plus four, four, seven, nine, four, four, four, four, four, three, two. Added you to a group chat. The title of the chat is what? We have something in common.

22:04Yeah, freakazoid. Freakazoid warning. Warning. Alarm bells. Right, hello. It's a red alarm bell emoji. My ladies. My lady. I love listening to the pod. Thank you. you're too honestly hilarious thanks Sarah thank you Sarah I'm emailing in because I was added to a group chat with three of Brian's exes this is different they're a cult they're a pack they come as one they formed a bond you see this would get me they're trauma bonded this would get me are you joking are you looking for a fourth member girls yeah sign me up yeah I think we'd have to apply for membership shit yeah this would get me the fact that all three of this man's exes know each other and agree that you need a warning, you're going to be in the group when the next girl comes along.

22:51Yeah. I'd be like, ladies, tell me everything I need to know. Yeah. Where's my initiation? How do I get in? Yeah, I'd say, how do I get away? How can I warn others? Where's our monthly meetings? Yeah. We'll host it at mine if you want. I'll write the newsletters, okay? You set up the emails. The subscriptions. I'll make the merch. Right. And on your most recent ep, you asked for real life experiences of getting a text from your new Brian's ex. so we had been dating for about a month and at the time it was still casual going on dates just having fun f-u-n i then got added to a whatsapp group chat with three of his exes one girlfriend and two situationships with a warning message letting me know that he had ghosted most of them and that i couldn't trust him that he would lie and how did they know each other how did the all three maybe what happened was there was the original girlfriend who got cheated on with one of these situationships they formed a little you know thing and you know and that's how you kind of meet because you know when you try to stuff i fear this is an iconic girl code moment question the week i fear if you ladies can sing you should form the next um then be the next little mix because i fear this would be iconic if you can imagine your background story we just need a rapper a dancer a singer and a guitarist and we've got it all i think you ladies will have we just need one singer backup dancers i'm sure you're all gorgeous i think we're gonna make this happen ladies simon so let me know i couldn't trust him and that he would lie and that his priorities were going out with the boys it was very much framed as them trying to be girls girls and doing me a favor oh did you hear how she said that what did you hear how she wrote that it was very much framed as them trying to be trying to be girls girls trying i think there's something more to this and doing me a favor i knew that brian had been single for about a year and had been having some fun but so had i so that didn't particularly bother me obviously still not nice to hear about what shot me was the picture they were portraying was a mean fuck boy who didn't care or value the girls he was seeing and i hadn't seen anything like that as of yet okay and then it's yeah because then it's like well that could be the the love bombing aspects they are completely different couple months in compared to you know when they hit that six month mark and then the facility switch once they've got you locked down i didn't know how to feel and if i should bring it up to brian i ended up keeping my reply short to the girls because how do they get your number i know maybe it's a friend of a friend of a professionals i think of course they're professionals they probably got a whole team yeah it's like celebrity hunted yeah we've got the CCTV we've got the cameras they're watching the trains yeah private security yeah they're named number plates absolutely they've hacked into your ring doorbell absolutely they've got it all I ended up keeping my reply short to the girls and just saying thanks for letting me know I then left the group chat because I wanted to avoid any further awkwardness and the thought of Brian being in a group chat with my exes yeah not what you want is it you know as if it was the other way around made me feel physically sick in the end I brought it up to Brian and he did the classic that crazy Brian Brian Brian please not the best thing to say Brian you're not helping your case yeah Brian you're not helping your case at all like I want to see examples of see at least though Brian number one didn't say that she was crazy he just said that we had a bit of a misunderstanding because like she wanted something more serious and I didn't yeah it makes Brian number one appear fantastic a bit better yeah because I fear Brian your response should be that was a tough time for me it was a time of change I'm ashamed I'm ashamed that wasn't me but my time in therapy and my growth and how I am as a human now I would never treat a woman as such.

26:32And, you know, I will always and have always highly respected those women. Yeah. Yeah. So the fact that he went straight in with the craziness, yeah, we don't like that, which didn't help how I was feeling. But was very open and honest about his relationship with these ladies and that, yes, he had ghosted them. But had also made it clear to them it was never anything more than sex and maybe they wanted more. I could not hear my boyfriend say that. I could not hear him say that. It was just sex with that, with that season. Great, great sex, but that was all it was. Yeah, it's orgasmic sex, but that was orgasmic.

27:08Okay, so. It was just pure sexual chemistry. We didn't even need to speak. You know, our attraction was through the roof, you know. Her body was phenomenal, you know. It was desirable. It was pure sex.

27:22We spoke through our body language. I'd be sick. We didn't even need words. Yeah, we didn't even have to communicate. Our bodies did the talk. if you know what I mean Sarah right so he's kind of framing it as that he's framing it as these women wanted more with me I just wanted sex with them yeah and now they're upset because I didn't give them what they wanted right which I which is a believable excuse you're making them look crazy but how he handled because like really are you sure you actually weren't saying to these women exactly oh let's go to Paris for the weekend exactly I'm gonna put babies in you and yada yada forehead kisses and all that and doing these nice dates and talking about children's names like I'm sure he was doing all of that Brian Sarah not to make you feel any worse anyway here we are three years later fucking hell Sarah flash forward and now living together in our flat and having the best time he's nothing but kind caring and loving towards me I guess I'll never know if he changed it up because he realised what an absolute catch I am winky face

28:30or if those girls were feeling hurt rejected and wanted to sabotage his future relationships so i guess it's hard to know if you should trust those warning messages but my advice would be if your brian is open i thought she wrote brain but she did write brian if your brian is open and willing to talk about it i think that's a good sign and to also remember that people do grow and change hope this helps that was a lovely that was a lovely thank you so message of hope really fueling our first sarah's agenda to just to shit on carol right brilliant okay yeah absolutely yeah no that was do you know what that was actually so helpful that was real market research she's proved the test of time like he didn't have three relationships with these other women yeah maybe with the girlfriend you take it with a pinch of salt yeah you do what feels right you ask all the right questions you see how he reacts well yeah I fear he said the wrong things.

29:23He said they were crazy. But maybe he was just in the moment, deflecting, panicked. But... Not an excuse for Brian and his behaviour and his actions, but he stood the test of time.

29:38Okay. I think we've never had this before in Girls' Bathroom history. This is the first. We've got here for our official first dilemma of the episode. My best friend has started seeing the same therapist as me. Okay. I think you can see it as a positive. And also it's all confidential, no? Yeah. But then I guess it's... Okay, let's read on. It might just be something that you want to keep for yourself. For yourself. Like that's your like... You know, if you're speaking about your best mate in your therapy sessions, you're thinking, well, now I feel like this was my safe space. And if she's going to hear the other side of the story potentially.

30:17But then she's always going to remain professional and help you guys. It would help her give more context. I think, but I don't think our Sarah likes it. So let's see how we got here. It's a short and sweet one. So I have been going to therapy for the past four years and I've built a really good relationship with my therapist. And she has seen me go through the highs and lows of my early 20s. She knows everything about me, including all the people in my life in detail. Going to her is, you know, sort of a safe space for me to say whatever I want without judgment. And I see her as kind of an older sister, as we are very similar people.

30:54I am such a big advocate for therapy and have advised so many of my friends to go. My best friend, Sarah, has always said she would never go, but recently has changed her mind. So I told her the website that I found mine on. Yeah. Side note, Sarah knows the first name of my therapist. She texted me today saying she's booked in for a couple appointments. and I asked you know where she was going who she was seeing and she said oh the same one that you go to right I was slightly in shock that she would book the same person as me when there are so many on that website to choose from I just said okay as I honestly didn't know what to say to her I'm not sure if I have the right to ask her not to go and to choose someone else I feel selfish doing that when I think she could really benefit from therapy.

31:47I don't feel comfortable going to see my therapist anymore. I'm not sure if I'm being dramatic, but she felt like my safe place. Any help would be greatly appreciated. Thank you in advance. I think this is a situation where you just got to speak up. Yeah. Say your mind. You know, this isn't, you know, this is something that you don't want. Like there are plenty of other therapist i think it's very reasonable for you to present another option to her me too so i think send a message or maybe let her go to that one appointment that initial one that she's already got bond too much but tin and just say hi sarah yeah i just realized that you're seeing anna my therapist too i wouldn't say i just realized okay but i just it struck you instantly it struck me instantly that anna is my therapist i think it'll make me feel a little bit more comfortable if you just found someone else.

32:44Yeah, you can keep it lighthearted. Like, don't, you don't have to, you know, pull yourself, but just, and then she's going to respect that and go, oh, do you know what? Yeah, fair, fair. There are other people on this website. If my best friend Sarah doesn't feel comfortable with that, I'll absolutely explore her options. Because I do think you have dibs on your therapist. You've been seeing her for four years. That's your, you know, that's your lady of four years. And you did, and yeah, I think it's a personal thing. Like some people might quite like the idea of having the same therapist as someone else in their life.

33:10For some people, that might be their worst nightmare. So yeah, I think you're definitely within your right to be like, hey, like, you know, I have been thinking about this a lot and I'm just really not comfortable with the fact that you want to see my therapist. You could say like, I think it will benefit us both who just have different therapists. Yeah. Just suppose, and then maybe she'll go, oh yeah, you know what, actually. Yeah, I didn't think about it like that. Yeah, and maybe because she's never had therapy before, she probably doesn't realise. I mean, she might go once and not like it and then never go again.

33:33This isn't really an issue. Exactly, but we want to keep your safe space and your safe person sacred. So you've just got to speak up just communicate and yeah because otherwise if you don't say anything she's not gonna know she thinks you're okay with it she thinks oh yeah we're gonna say therapist like twins she's gonna think that that's fun and fine but you don't feel like that so just say it and she'll respect you because she's your friend good luck well we solved that one in an instant that was quick hey guys it's page from giggly squad okay can we all agree that hosting is so much fun and i really do love it.

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35:51Paralyzing every pore. you feel it taking over you

36:01right everyone strap up glasses on locking in classes in session we've got fucking hell a beast of a dilemma it's a bloody five-page novel right but we love long so sarah says was my best friend wanting more from me guess we'll find out why don't we ask our mutual therapist hello beautiful angels hey sarah i have followed you from the start of your journey i'm talking lookbook days and as many i never even thought i would write in it's a long one so i apologize but i want to give you all the details that we appreciate sarah we appreciate the length to paint the image i'm a 27 year old wife and mother wow i have an amazing family and friends and thought everyone was sweet in my life.

36:45Oh, I thought everything was sweet in my life. Oh gosh. So you didn't know that you had a problem. Shit. Two years ago, a new girl started working at my place of work. We will call her Sarah. We didn't click instantly as we have very different personalities. I'm loud and energetic. She's very laid back and very dry. But opposites do attract. Opposites attract. You know? Ying and yang. I have a lot of different friendship groups, friendship groups from where I lived previously, old jobs, mummy friends. Sarah doesn't have much friend or relationship experience. So you're saying Sarah doesn't have these other groups of people.

37:24She's not got as much friend experience. I live with my husband and my child. She lives with her mum. Sarah is quite a socially awkward person. I think because of her past and not having many friendships, it's made her this way. But I've been able to get through it. This relates further into the story. So you're definitely at different points in life. Yeah. So you've painted the picture for us that Sarah is a bit awkward, more of an introvert, less outgoing. You're outgoing, out there, lots of booming friends. We started talking more in work and we started to get on with each other really well.

37:58She told me things about her past and we started to grow slightly closer on a work level. Nice. We ended up on a work night out with friends and she was supposed to be staying at my friend's house, two of our work friends that live together. When we all went back to their house and carried on drinking, one of the girls was absolutely mortal. And we're going, we're in Newcastle. Mortal. Mortal. How do they say it? What? In the accent? What's Newcastle? Mortal! Yeah, is that it? They say it in Geordie Shore, right? That's what they would say. Charlotte would say that. Where are you? Is that Geord?

38:31Yeah. Why are you? Okay, mortal. Yeah. Okay, so we're in Newcastle. Love the context. So we're mortal. Yeah. Okay. One of the girls was absolutely mortal, and the other had invited her boyfriend round. Because of Sarah's past, she had told me I could instantly see that she was uncomfortable and I was uncomfortable for her. So she didn't want to stay there anymore. While that guy was there and the other girl was drunk. I text my husband and after Sarah could come stay at our house instead as I was worried about her. He agreed and I took her under my wing. I'm slightly older than Sarah and feel like I've had a lot more life experience.

39:06So I felt a bit protective of her. Oh, this is nice. You guys are nice. from this we actually became best friends i probably have spent most spent the most time with her in the past year than i have with any of my other friends we spend days off together with my daughter and because my husband works these days we go shopping together for food soft play theater trips everything wow she's stopped on the sofa at my house when my husband is away my daughter calls her auntie and it's been pretty much a great friendship friendship we have always really blossomed yeah we have always had a you get this i'll get the next friendship when it comes to food on days out or takeaways or if she brings food for work i'll immediately pay her back what she's spent on it so our first problem occurred on my birthday last year sarah has a lot of disposable income she lives with her mom doesn't smoke doesn't drink works a lot of hours and got compensation from something that happened to her.

40:11Mysterious. She spends her money on lavish items and is always shopping. For my birthday, she got me heaps, more than I could ever have wanted from anyone. I'm talking branded items, expensive perfumes, charms, etc. Charms? Pandora charms? Tomasabo charms? Labubu charms, of course. I told her it was way too much I couldn't repay repay that I felt uncomfortable receiving the present because no one has ever spent that kind of money on me she insisted I took the gift and said she didn't expect the same in return okay okay my husband also felt uncomfortable and had a conversation with her he doesn't have the disposable income like she had and it made him feel extremely shit that my friend had just gifted me so much and he couldn't do the same He felt like she had outdone him in a way and that he couldn't.

41:05Okay. Okay. I was confused then at why he was upset, as I thought my friend had just done something really nice for me. Yeah, and it's like you can't... He just felt a bit upstaged. He just... Yeah. But after recent events, I'm kind of seeing his side more. So what else has happened? Sarah had caused a huge argument with me on my birthday when I was also travelling to the airport to go on holiday about the way that my husband had made her feel from the nice gesture. Okay, so she wasn't happy about Brian saying something about the presents. And she's fallen out of you. Okay. And now she's kind of expressing to you that she felt it was unfair.

41:42And yeah, so now you're kind of like in the middle, I guess. He wasn't nasty, just said that he was upset and felt shit about it. I told her I understood why she would be upset and I apologized over and over for how he made her feel. but also at the end of the day I will always stick up for my husband if it comes to a fallout we managed to move past it and continue to be friends since then she's brought my daughter on birthdays with random gifts she has brought me flowers to my house to say thank you for being a good friend and it's been really kind and supportive to me whenever I need her I mean she sounds great nice she sounds great to me sounds great to me as well um Brian might just be feeling a bit upstaged but the dilemma is that if she's not doing enough oh let's read on i am quite high up in my job but only work three days a week because of child care reasons my husband works the other three out of four some days i'm asked to work extra i always decline because of child care and not having much money spare after paying bills and necessities and i couldn't afford a babysitter on those days.

42:49But Sarah offered to have my child on those odd occasions where work needed me. Some of those times I would come home, we would all get a takeaway together. Other times my husband would get home before me, so she would leave before I got home. Okay, so she was stepping in to help with childcare. Real auntie vibes. Yeah, you get a takeaway after. Nice. I always tell her how grateful I am for her help and how much I appreciate her friendship one day she had my child and took her out for the day and spent a lot of money on her i didn't ask her to do this when i got home she told me that they what they've been up to out of guilt i asked if she wanted the money back she'd spent she phrased her and says oh it's up to you you can if you have it all right so now this is getting a bit tacky isn't it yeah now are you expecting stuff in return you taught you you told me that i needed to babysit you could have just gone for a walk and played in the park you didn't need to go to harrods on your way home and buy everything she pointed out and before like you've said this to her before i can't repay you yeah yeah i didn't have much spare money if i had spare money i'd pay a babysitter rather than getting a friend to have my child but regardless i paid her back the money she had spent if sarah has my child i always make sure my child has food or i give sarah money to get her food so i can see how this is now that the tensions are rising yeah i can feel them get into the dilemma that was great back back um yeah we're not there yeah but we're about halfway so something's big about to blow oh god last week i asked asked her if she could have my daughter one day at the beginning of july as work had swapped my weekends around if i didn't work that weekend i would be unable to have my usual weekend off as annual leave which i desperately needed as my husband and I are going to France for my birthday.

44:3816th of July, birthday twin. How fucking weird that we're reading that today. Oh my God, happy birthday. Thanks so much. I'm sorry we're reading this on your birthday then, Sarah. Sorry, Sarah. You're in France right now. Happy holidays. Happy holidays. Happy birthday to us. Oh my God, happy birthday, ladies. I told her that she can stop at my house and we will have an early celebration for my birthday since I'm not in the UK for the actual date. She said, that's fine. You can get my tea. right but it's my birthday yeah it's my birthday yeah you buy me dinner yeah i jokingly responded that's fine i'll get your tea on my birthday ah letting her know it's my birthday i'm going to get your tea yeah oh it's getting real awkward yeah because she's basically saying pay for something for once yeah isn't she in a nice way but is it though because i can feel the undertone yeah shit it was completely sarcastic and anyone who knows me knows it is it is my kind of humor but of course I would get her tea for looking after my child I'm not tight with my friends at all now where it's got a bit strange and an argument has happened is yesterday I get a text from Sarah at work asking if we can talk oh shit okay shit myself she came into work and I said is it is it a good talk or a bad talk she says oh I'd shit myself it depends how you take it shit would actually come out my bum like what do you mean I'm on edge you have to tell me oh I feel sick I would feel depends how you take it and we're at work we're at work so it's quite a smart answer from Sarah though to be honest what depends how you take it does it inciting fear in us all Sarah we went into my office whilst I was still working and I was like do we need to do this at work I know workplace jargon it's kind of formal at least i said go ahead she sat down and said this is all quotes by the way okay i didn't want to have to have this conversation as i don't know how you will take it this is all a quote fucking bits but i don't think you appreciate me enough as a friend do you know what i see what i see what this is i think sarah's love language is gift giving the flowers the presents the treats but your love language isn't that you yours is words of affirmation you said you told us that you tell it all the time i appreciate you thank you so much i really appreciate this and it's just she receives love in a different kind of way that she's not she's giving it and she's not recognizing it do you think that's what it is yeah really well could be but it's also because she's thinking i've given you some we're at different points in life i've got a husband and a child to worry about you're living at home with your mom like you've got a bit more free time of an evening to think do you know what i'm gonna go send sarah some flowers yeah like my head is all over the fucking place like i'm not really thinking about all those things so like i think it's a love language a love language barrier barrier the way you're appreciating her because you are you're really appreciative and letting her know that she's not receiving it in that kind of way because you've not written it down in a card and flowers she's not processing because it's not been presented to her as a box of chocolates or as a new perfume she you know what i mean yeah i think yeah because love language is a real thing it is a real thing and it is a real like it can be a real issue it is especially in romantic and friendships it's it's like it's important to understand how that person gives and receives you know otherwise they could be doing all these things thinking they're being so loving but you're not really recognizing it because they're not being appreciated because you're thinking of why hasn't he done that and why hasn't he picked that up it's like different thing different languages yeah like your boyfriend in the evening could cuddle you for hours and that's his love language is physical touch but you're thinking well he's still set on the side and you're thinking i'd rather you put that in the dishwasher yeah and you're thinking well you didn't you didn't come and pick me up from work tonight oh does that mean that you know it's different languages she said the comment i'd made to her made her feel like I undervalued her after everything she does for me.

48:52I told her I was confused. It was a complete joke and she said she wasn't a jokey person. I responded, but I am and you know this. She said, anyway, it's not about the money. It's just I don't feel like you appreciate me. I told her I didn't get what the conversation was about. I thank her all the time. I sent her flowers two weeks ago for being a good friend I don't know what more I can do oh okay so you yeah okay right to add I got her a lot for her birthday also more than I could afford as I felt like I needed to to do that for what she had done for me she said quotes I just think if I'm having your child the least you could do is offer to get me tea and some drinks me my tea tea is dinner I reminded her that if she is still at my house when I get home I always get the takeaway or I get food when we are next now i explained that i didn't realize the agreement we had was a paid agreement as if i had spare money i'd get a babysitter for the couple of hours i needed right and there's been a miscommunication you kind of thought she was just offering to do this out of goodwill and just because she had the time and she was available and because she wanted to save you a bit of cash whereas actually she's been thinking i'm here babysitting her child every day she's not paying me nothing i'm not getting yada yada yada yada yada you've got different you're having a different experience yeah and maybe in the beginning it did start out as a favor and then maybe she started to think oh maybe i should be getting more for that you know i should be getting paid it was like a resentment thing yeah that started to build slowly she continued to say it's not about the money i just want to feel appreciated by you i was so confused because if this conversation wasn't about the money i've not offered or about me not saying thank you which I do constantly, then what more do you want from me?

50:41I apologise that I hadn't offered enough, but I give what I can with the money I have, which really isn't much, but equally said, if she wanted payment, she should have let me know that before offering to have my child. I have my friends' children when they need and expect nothing in return because I'm offering to help, not because I want anything. I came home and told my husband and mother-in-law, and they told me that they had thought our friendship was a bit weird, and that all of the treats and everything were more than what a normal friendship consists of they are convinced that she's wanting more than a friendship wow she's in love with you they think she's in love with you what oh that's an avenue we haven't explored that's an avenue i did not consider at all really that's what they both think and my husband said quotes if it's not about the money but wants to be appreciated more by you what does she want you to do kiss her right so now he's getting yeah yeah your husband's seen her as a threat to your marriage now i'm just completely confused i thought she was a really good friend with a hugely big heart but i fear that i've maybe looked past that and she's wanting more from me i feel incredibly cheap that i've not offered to pay for you i think you did what everyone else would have expected it's It's like, it's a favour for a friend.

52:04Oh, I'm really, oh, I've got no childcare on Thursday. Oh, don't worry, I'll have a, I'm free on Thursdays. And I love your daughter. It's like, I'll have a nice day out. Yeah. Yeah, I think you were, you weren't wrong to think that it was nothing more than a favour. No. Because that's what you would do for a friend. Yeah. You know, oh, you're in need. I'll make sure I pay for the food or whatever. Not everything needs to be like, oh, let me pay you back or because you've done me a favour, I owe you a favour. Yeah, it's like. Like, it's not that transactional. It's like my mum and honey, right?

52:32honey the dog when we go away to italy honey needs taken care of for two weeks mom gets stressed oh is anyone free to have honey like it's two weeks like it's a dog and like anna's like i love honey i'll do it absolutely just a favor just just bring all of her food like mum provides all the food all her toys and and then mum will you know it's just a favor it's a favor for a friend yeah that you really appreciate and you've got that understanding with your other friends who have kids yeah because you have their kids absolutely and it's that mutual like oh yeah i'll have the kids oh yeah i can have kids yeah but yeah because she's not got kids maybe she never feels that same like i don't know yeah i mean in hindsight it should have been something she should have expressed in the beginning that oh like or just stop offering or just yeah she didn't have to stop offering yeah the conversation ended with her saying i don't want this to change our friendship I told her that it had and it would because I don't understand why she would want a friendship with me after the way she feels about me and also because she has made me feel horrendous friends don't do that I'm worried now that I'm the dickhead and completely in the wrong in this situation sorry for the essay lots of love from a mum who hates drama photos attached to me and the family aww let's see the lovely family and me and Sarah at the bottom this is the family oh my god on the wedding day she's got two kids this is the stepbrother oh so gorgeous you look beautiful so she's just flagged that she didn't mention the stepbrother because Sarah has never had to watch the stepbrother just the the girl and this is Sarah and Sarah oh girls girls I know gorgeous yeah I think what what's happened here is there's maybe I can see it from both perspectives I think it's major miscommunication it's been a big miscommunication I think like yeah Sarah she's got loads she's got more free time on her hands so she's like got the time to like think of the oh I'm gonna write you a card I'm gonna go the extra mile I'm gonna send you some flowers just because you're a great friend like that's a lovely thing to do and you're thinking I'm even though you did send her flowers two weeks ago I know like oh Sarah has been sending her flowers I know and did get her loads of nice birthday presents more than she could afford I think maybe it's just like you never know maybe Sarah has been going back because she lives with her mum and her mum's been saying, are you doing all this child care for free?

54:56Is she not paying you more blood? Does she ever do da-da-da-da-da-da? And I don't know. I just think there's been a miscommunication. I think you've kind of been assuming that Sarah's quite happy to look after your child because she's offered and like she's quite happy to do it and yada-da-da. But meanwhile, maybe Sarah's actually been thinking, she takes me for granted. I'm always looking after her. I think you're just seeing this. you're not you're not looking at the same picture yeah and then obviously and then i think the love language comes into play she obviously shows it through gifts because i don't really know what else sarah wants from you to be honest she said oh well just dinner and drinks would be fine but you but you do get dinner when she's at your house you've expressed that you do do that and she surely she understands the financial situation like she's in a privileged situation she understands you've got way more to pay for you've got two kids you've got a household to run you know you've got rent you've got bills so it is a bit unfair i think coming from sarah as like more could have been communicated like before she accepted to take care of the child one day say oh well like should we i don't know like say what you expect sarah because we've we've not been knowing we've just been guessing this whole time and now we're in this awkward bubble yeah and i've been trying to let you know how much i appreciate you but obviously you've not been receiving that.

56:13But I can see how you're like overthinking and thinking, am I the dickhead? Am I the twat? Is this my fault? Or should I have? No, I think you were willing with your right to think that she's doing me a lovely favour. As friends do. You've said she's your best friend. You know, you needed childcare. She's up to nothing. Like she stepped in. She's offered. Especially when you've expressed, I can't get in a babysitter. I can't afford it. Don't worry. My days have been switched. Yeah. It's not like you've said, do you mind babysitting for a fee tonight Sarah? You know? The language communicated was different.

56:44So she obviously just, I think what it is is she just doesn't want to take care of the child anymore. Well then don't accept. Don't accept. That must be what it is. She's just like, oh I don't want to do this. Don't accept. You can't like. You can say no. You can say no. And then it's come out with a, well if I've got to, then she should at least give me some money. And it's kind of. Like maybe it was something that she enjoyed at first, but now she's like oh now it's just expected that I'm the child and I don't even get paid for it I mean I don't think she's in love with you I don't think she wants to snog you I don't think your husband's I'm not getting any sexual chemistry and your mother-in-laws I'm not getting like she's in love with you vibes that's interesting that they both said that though but maybe but yeah I think but I don't think she'd be coming to you with the I don't know if she was in love with you I don't think she's in love with you me either I think you've just got different expectations for this friendship and there's just been a lot like I feel like Sarah has been sitting on a lot of her emotions and letting them fester and you've kind of been none the wiser as to what's been going on but I think Sarah's secretly been like building a bit of a storm and she's yeah I think she's had a bit of a change of tune change of tune because at the beginning it did seem like a favour it did seem like a favour and anyone would think that it was like you had this very intense friendship quite quickly she was staying at your house we would go into the theatre spending every single day off together like it's almost like she just yeah she was like a sister to you she became like an auntie to you child you said like it all went from zero to a hundred and I don't know maybe it's something that's going to go as quick as it came fuck who knows maybe well yeah because she's our Sarah said look our friendship won't be the same we've got a big miscommunication here I think if you want to solve it you just say to Sarah look Sarah like this conversation like it caught me really off guard the other day first of all I want to let you know that I am really sorry that you've been feeling this way I was under the impression that you were like quite happy to like step in and help and step in you know I didn't I didn't realize that you were wanting payment for it and just say like look I think we have different expectations of each other and let's talk about it like what do you expect from me as a friend like what do you want from me as a friend and I'll tell the same to you and let's just talk about it in terms of your husband's perspective he must see all the gifts the lavish gifts as like she's trying to woo my wife yeah i think yeah when i don't see why he as a man would think that yes because maybe that's how he's this new friend maybe that's like spoiling my wife that must be how he woos you yeah you know with a new perfume a new little you know pandora charm you know and he's thinking well this lady's took my place in that aspect she must fucking love her or what she's in love yeah yeah but good luck i think you need to talk about it see if you can get through to her and really understand what she was expecting and i mean you've said the friendship won't be the same so like sophia said it probably might come as quick as it as it came might go it be a shame because she was a great friend but i think she's got i think you've got different expectations of each other maybe her expectations are more than you can give her and it's like look I've not got time to be this incredible, you know, amazing, so dedicated friend.

59:57I've got a husband, I've got a child, I've got two kids. Like, I can't be this like ride or die, see you every night, dinner, dinner, dinner, club, club, club, party, party, group chat, group chat, group chat. I've got other shit going on. I think you've got different expectations. And I think. Because you just say that she was a bit younger than you. And because she hasn't got children, she doesn't have that perspective of that. She's got time on her hands. that you've not got. She probably doesn't understand the task at hand being a mother. And all she has to focus on is her friendships. Yeah.

1:00:29You know? Whereas you have so much more to focus on. It'd be a shame if it died. It would. Try and talk and see if we can get to somewhere where we both feel comfortable. At least like she's told you how she's feeling and she's brought it to you and that must have taken quite a lot of courage. Yeah, and you've been honest. You said, look, I don't really understand. What more do you expect from me? I've done this and this and this. What do you want from me? Maybe express like, look, that's how I express love and appreciation. how do you express love and appreciate it appreciation obviously it's gifts obviously obviously thank you for this this and this i smell great by the way i love that new wise i love you actually have you seen the new wise i really said love that christmas is coming up

1:01:13right last girl talk one here we've got my maid of honor cussed out my fiance we don't really say the word cuss do we no like oh my god she's swearing at your fiance me out slagging off your fiance yeah we'd say slag oh so me and my best friend of 19 years let's call her smampa have always had sisterly fights okay always over silly things you know we're the type to full-on argue and then five minutes later like we're going to mackie d's drive yeah that's the normal um dynamics like this. However, for the past year, I have felt that I can't be asked for these fights. And some of the things she says are actually hurtful, rude, and make me feel shit about myself.

1:01:56Oh, so they actually have a nasty streak. It's not just like something silly. I think they probably used to be. But as you've matured, you're like, actually... That was a bit hurtful. That was a bit mean. Right. When she says these things, instead of telling her that she's gone too far, I just go quiet as I don't really want the drama. Like full frontal lobe has arrived. Well, it's like me saying, Sophia, I think it's time to put the horizontal stripes away. Yeah, they ain't doing nothing for you. They ain't doing nothing for you, babe. I basically feel like I just let her talk to me like shit for an easy life.

1:02:26Okay. Right, okay. So it's gotten too much now. The other night, our group of friends, a boy and a girl, went to a party. My fiancé, you know, golden retriever, who is a recovering mummy's boy, there is hope girls, and the nicest, softest person in the world, came with me to this party, as he knows the boys too. Okay, nice. I was wildly drunk. Yeah. I was playing around with my Brian, but I didn't want to go home. And we were laughing as he playfully put me over his shoulder, you know, sexy, and tried carrying me to our taxi, but I escaped. Cute. Samantha then proceeds to go up to him and shout aggressively in his face.

1:03:03Samantha, what are you doing, babe? That he is a C-word. A C-word? And that I follow him around all rugby season like a puppy. so I should get to stay. So you guys were like playfully leaving. Oh, so you - He's got you over his shoulder. Yeah. Like you're like - I know I want to stay. And like you're drunk. You're like, I want to stay, I want to stay. Oh, she fucking follows you around. Yeah. Oh, fucking - Yeah, fucking - Oh, fucking Robbie Sealy's in you. Fucking - It's like, whoa, Samantha, it wasn't that deep. Yeah, right. Okay. I never expressed to her that I wanted to stay. So it was openly unprovoked behavior.

1:03:38Right, so it's not like you said to her, oh, he's being really unfair tonight. Like, I really want to stay. like he's making me leave he's being in a bad mood right she's just kind of like she's taking it like Sam it wasn't that deep my Brian who never argues with anyone proceeded to tell her that the way she spoke to him is unacceptable and disrespectful fair play he even tried to forgive her and squash the situation yeah he tried to give her a hug and she backed away from him completely mudging him off me and Brian leave together he was a bit shell-shocked I was too drunk to know what really happened yeah and he explained to me the next morning the extent of it now my dilemma is that i know i now want nothing to do with her she will never be my maid of honor and i don't want to interact with her am i being over the top if this were reversed my brian would never forgive his friend for speaking to me that way i also worry that i will lose friends over this as she is the type of person to make it awkward for me in a group setting and spread sorry for the long story but i worry that i will lose friends over this but i think the situation is disgusting and unforgivable photos attached of me and brian and me and svantha oh oh i mean her and brian she's given andy anderson you got looks like our friend's wedding doesn't it and then look this is this is this is her and svantha they seem pretty close i mean you're looking lips ladies oh ladies i mean sarah it it seems like something has been building up for a while I fear do you know what I mean yeah like with the you know you said for a while you've been quite uncomfortable with you've been letting a lot slide some of the things she's been saying but then if this if this is always the way that it used to be Sarah used to be told like we don't act like this anymore because Sarah's thinking we've always had we've been 19 years of this dynamic what's changed yeah you should tell her that something's changed otherwise she's not the wiser I mean 19 years of friendship I know can nothing be you know because we were all drunk you know and obviously drinking it's no excuse for anything but it gives context but it does fuel you know things and if she was under the influence of of of drink that may have escalated the situation how she may have interpreted the situation a bit wrong but yeah i mean she disrespected your boyfriend and she should never have done that you're absolutely within your right say do you know what actually I'm not going to stand for that no friend of mine does that you're within your right absolutely because like you said if it was roles reversed I'd say that man is no friend of yours yeah you know I would he told me I was he cussed me out I tried to you know hug it out he backed away like he is no mate of mine like I hear you I think this is either the final straw or just to play the other side I do think this could also act as a gateway to speak about the troubles that we've been having to a new dynamic and you could say sarah can i speak i want to speak to you yeah and you could say look i appreciate like we were all drinking the other night but i don't know if you remember but when we left you did you know call brian some pretty rude names which i you know find really disgusting and i can't stand for that like that's my fiance yeah and you could just say like look i know in the past we've had a very you know sisterly bicker bicker like fine next minute not find the next like relationship but I think it's growing a bit tiresome and I don't really enjoy this dynamic anymore and you could say and some of the things you know I do get I am I do find it quite hurtful and I think say what you said that sometimes I do feel like I take a lot for an easy for an easy life yeah so and I think like I think this could be where we because it does seem a shame to throw away 19 years of friendship and I understand where you're coming from Sarah I absolutely do yeah if you're sick of it you're sick of it and enough is enough if that's the final straw that was the final straw I completely appreciate that but maybe speak to her let her know all these feelings that you've been having for a while and let's just see how she responds she might be like well this is me deal with it take it or leave it I can't be your friend anymore then unfortunately but she might be like oh like I thought I didn't realise I didn't know because you've not said it before maybe people aren't mind readers I mean yeah And maybe there'll be some place you guys can get to together to heal the relationship.

1:07:58Like, I really want to apologize to Brian. Like, I thought he knew I was kind of joking. Like, I didn't think it was. But if you still think, no, you know what? I've outgrew her and that's it. You've outgrew her and that's it. Yeah. And all you can do within the dynamic of the friendship group is tell your truth and just say, look, we just outgrew each other. She was disrespectful to Brian. That's it. That was my truth. I didn't think we had a healthy dynamic anymore. And hopefully anyone else within the group who's maybe hearing misconstrued things from her, I would appreciate I would hope that they would come to you and we're all mature enough to yeah to talk appreciate that everything is two sides yeah so but good luck I mean yeah it sounds like a drunken escapade but also a build up of of things that you've been pushing down for a while there maybe talk to her and see yeah what vibe you get but maybe you don't want to and that's absolutely fine you're within your right to end friendships you are good luck Sarah but yeah bon chance should we find oh quote star of the week right right for our star of the week this week we've got a girl riding in um trudy and she's saying she's from australia and she came to our brisbane show trudy from brisbane and she is nominating her husband blake a star of the week they have been together for 10 years high school sweethearts married for nearly two expecting our first child in november and we just found out we're having a little boy and Trudy she's been feeling so sick and Blake has been working overtime to make sure that she can take maternity leave without stressing about finances thank you finishing our renovations me not having to lift a finger and still managing to take great care of me at home doing all the heavy lifting his work is a two-hour round trip from the hospital where I have my appointments but he still has made sure he is at every single one of the scans Blake I think he deserves a shout out not just for how he is showing up at the moment but how he shows up every day for me and now our growing family and this is trudi and blake look at this beautiful picture we're in the brisket forest thank you for being an amazing husband and father to be and supporting our trudi we you are a star star of the week thank you for loving our trude yay oh Trudy okay guys thank you so much for listening this week if you would like to email in a dilemma of your own you can email it you can email it to hello at the girls bathroom.com freight train and please follow us on Instagram TikTok and the YouTubes and yeah we'll see you on Monday if you're in the group chat if not we'll see you next Wednesday love ya bye bye bye bye bye bye bye Cancer is on the rise.

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