Girl Talk: She had sex… at MY wedding!!!

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2:00Blissey is offering 60 nights risk-free, plus 30 % off when you shop at blissey.com slash glow30. Your skin and hair will thank you. Openly talking about burping, farting, toilet habits. Okay, ladies. Farting on the cheese in the Tusco's aisle as you're stocking the shelves, ladies. That's lovely, isn't it? If you asked me what her favourite colour was, I wouldn't have a clue, but I could tell you her bowel habits and when she's due. All was fine until around six months ago. you know the drama is never ending don't let it get the best of you well come in come in take your shoes off with your fluffy socks on it's november it's november baby i'm in like some weird um i'm really serving i've been wearing the pink socks non-stop they're nice yeah i spent my coffee on them yesterday so i've had to put them in the wash oh so you took them they're actually my socks sorry I actually I actually did buy them for myself two pairs of fluffy socks I'll bring them back those who kept them on did you oh that's nice isn't it you saw me wearing them and then you left did I you gave them to me to wear I think it was sneaky behaviour actually you put them in the wash they're not your socks I spilled coffee on I can absolutely return them well I've not washed mine because they're well I'm a bit worried now that I've that I've gonna ruin them in the wash uh oh blueberry Blueberry is sporting Loewe today.

3:38I went into this gorgeous dog shop. She's a designer dog. Really nice dog shop in seven dials. I don't know what it's called, but it's really good and it's dangerous. Really nice bits and bobs. Also, is it like bowls or is it just like clothing? It's bowls. Also, everything. Everything you can think of. So I'll treat you that to a little jumper. What were we thinking about? Some little shoes. Yes, some shoes. I think some shoes. Yeah. What would she wear shoes? What would she wear shoes today? Yeah. Just keep her paws clean. So things don't get in her paws. I'd definitely like to try it. And you've not got to worry about her bringing dirt in on your lovely new carpet.

4:18Yeah. Or like standing on something. Of course you've got. Yes. Yes, I would like that very much. So happy Wednesday, everyone. How are we? We've got a lovely matcha here. We're really in the cozy seat, in the midst of cozy season. We've really settled into it now. I'm thinking about - sporting cozy season today but yes you are you wearing mitts yeah i'm wearing it but you know arms are out fleece if you will i was in the car on the way here thinking oh it felt like a dark morning it was raining it was a dark the window wipers were on the radio was on i was oh my god it's like a school morning and all these feelings come over me that it was like a school morning yeah yeah but i kind of like it what christmas decoration theme am i gonna go for on my tree I think it's going to be a pastel Christmas, hasn't it?

5:02Because last year I was in that, obviously my red face. Yes, the red hair, the red rose. I remember it well. And obviously I had to do red for the tree because it's all red, red, red. Yes. I just got red nails. I loved the red. Yeah, me too. But it's going to be pastel this year. Yeah, of course. It's a pink Christmas for me, I think. It's got to be. I'm thinking... It's peach. It's mint. Yeah, absolutely. It's Pantones. Absolutely. It's yellow. It's orange. It is. Yeah, it's all the things. It is. In our world anyway. Right. Should we dive into this cue of the duck? Yeah, sure. Let's just dive straight in.

5:34Happy Wednesday, everyone. Thanks for tuning back in. It's Girl Talk. I had a lovely hot chocolate the weekend as well. Me too. Yeah. Did you get it from Ralph's? No. I went to that maker's place. Ah, the sugar free. I'll take you tomorrow, darling. I'll treat you. Can't wait. Something nice. Wow, new socks and a hot chocolate. The gift that keeps on giving. We could really cozy this space up and we could create one of those autumnal jazz cafe cozy and it could just be we could be in the set just like you know doing a bit of whisking doing a bit of tap tap tap tap tapping my dream is to live in one of those atmospheres because like they're just my heavens when it's like i love the christmas ones on the lake or i like the like skyline new york ones christmas do you yeah i like the um like cozy apartment ones when you can see like the mountains outside well we should make ourselves each a cocoon thing to sit in have you seen them like we should make a cocoon like a like a human dog bed oh my god and do our pods in that oh and we should have a pajama day i would love a dressing gown day yes we should definitely have a dressing gown day oh yes yeah and pajama and and no makeup do you know what i think is something we all need to do because i was having this conversation the other day um like about like death row meals and like what what you know what would your death row meal be and what's your favorite meal blah blah blah and then it was like isn't it interesting that like we never eat our death row meal like once a year we should eat once a year we should eat our death row meal we should have like our starter our main our dessert like once a year we should do that like why don't we do that well my death row meal probably is stuff that i would consume starter main dessert i guess not in all at one go but like binging like like my starter would be hot salty doughy bread hot salty butter whole dripping in butter dripping down your face.

7:48I would smash all of that. And I also like, I want a bit of focaccia in there as well. I want some olive oil. I want a bit of balsamic. I do want that too. Yeah. And then. I would like a bit of calamari and burrata. I'd like a bit of calamari too. So it's not all, you know, it was a bit of freshness. And then for mains, I want like some mac and cheese. I want some pizza. I also want like fish, sorry, Smiley faces Really? And like dinosaur nuggets Okay fine And like potato waffles So I also want that kind of basis covered But I would just like some good fries as well Those oily crispy ones Yeah some good fries would be nice Oily crispy Oh We're having a good meal tonight though I think Yeah I'm excited actually We're going to enjoy it You know they've got chicken palm Yeah Oh one of my favourites And then dessert Mmm Tiramisu maybe Maybe.

8:46Honestly, a Yocci for me would really do it. That sign you off. Would it sign me off? No. Maybe get a tiramisu or just a good chocolate cake. Warm. Or melt in the middle warm. I could even do like a red velvet cake, actually. Red velvet, not for me. Yeah. I like a vanilla-y cake as well. What's the point in red velvet? There is no point to it. It's just like cream cheese frosting. Right. I love it. I support it you know I'm not a hater at all with just like a hot beverage to wash it down or I could do a chocolate eclair yeah it wouldn't be my first choice I could do a chocolate eclair profiteroles how could I forget again not my first choice but yeah oh we've not eaten today so once a year we should eat our death row meal yeah that would be nice because like when am I going to cook that up when am I going to make smiley faces dino nuggets pizza but then I fear you can't make it to the standard you're going to want it and I also want like a York I want a mini Yorkshire as well that's also something I've seen I want a burger though As well Yeah me too actually Christmas I've been seeing Christmas day Appetizers And this one woman On TikTok She's making Tiny Not tiny Yorkshire's She's making Yorkshire's And inside the Yorkshire's She's doing a mini Christmas dinner So she's got a little bit Of turkey A little bit of Cranberry sauce A little bit of potato And she's just Got it on a plate We don't want to deliver it So you can just Scoff it On my delivery because it's elite.

10:15Everything's on my delivery room. There's a place that's doing roasting our Yorkshire pudding wraps. Just an establishment that's on Deliveroo. Remember when we went to get a Yorkshire pudding wrap? Yes. That was heaven. Did we have one together? Yeah, and summer. Yes, yes, yes. It's on Deliveroo. Couldn't believe it. Wow. Yeah. That's a treat. Thinking about it. I think I might have to have a pie or something for tea. I'd love some gravy. Yeah, pie gravy. I mean, I've been seeing a lot of hate on TikTok. I like the Nando's chicken gravy. Who were, right, last food point. Who were having pasta with cheese and gravy, but that sounds so good to me.

10:52Yeah, don't hate on that at all. Melty cheese, pasta, gravy. It's giving that chips and gravy really. It's a similar kind of meal. Ten out of ten haven't for me. Right, this time is the queue. Right, sorry. Question of the week. I've got my eyes on her. She's there. Blueberry. She's been doing little sneaky wheeze around this studio, so we need to have eyes on her at all times. You think she's potty training. then she does a shit on the carpet she's regressing our question of the week this week what is something that feels illegal but isn't that kind of links to our chat actually yeah it does like having a death row meal kind of feels illegal but it shouldn't or like having pasta and gravy oh yeah if we were on death row we were illegals absolutely you know we did something illegal maybe we murdered our husband um oh this one i think i always was told that this was illegal right what's Wait, wait, wait, wait.

11:42So what's something that feels illegal that isn't? Probably some people would say having a gravy and pasta bag. Exactly. Yeah, exactly. Turning the light on in the car. I was told that was illegal. Yeah, turn it off. Turn it off. Yeah, the police will pull us over. You can see. Yeah, the police will pull us over. You can see. I spent my whole childhood being told that was illegal. You couldn't drive with the light on in the car. It was illegal. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Can you see, you're a driver. Can you see out when the light's on in the back? Yeah. What are they on about? They're just liars. Where this whole rule stemmed from, I don't know.

12:18Why our parents fed us that we weren't allowed the light on in the car? I'll never know. And what would always kill me about being, turn the lights off, turn the lights off, turn the lights off. Shut the door. Close the door. In the house, in the family home. Oh, in the house. Turn the lights off. Don't forget to turn the lights off. What if I left it on? Yeah, who cares? I might have left a lamp on today. It's World War II. Who cares? Who's going to tell me off? It's World War III if I've left the light on or not closed the door of the bathroom. Oh, that was never a rule in my house. You know the downstairs toilet, close the door.

12:51Till the light off. Oh my God. That one's got an extractor, I guess. It's kind of noisy. It does, it does. And I always thought it was illegal to drink and drive in the sense of like drinking anything. So I remember I've got this core memory. It was in my dad's car. I was sat in the front. It was just me and him in the car. and he was like having a can of coke and i was like dad i think that's illegal like i don't i don't think you're allowed to do that he was like oh no it's not it's alcohol he was like yes technically you probably shouldn't be drinking because it's distracting i remember when i went to a new year's eve party as a child once oh yeah and it was like an adult party obviously but there were some kids there our family friends do you remember when fiona had a halloween uh a new year's eve party like party party no i don't remember that fiona throwing a big old party yeah it was did she get drunk yeah fiona's been known to get drunk a few times yeah there's a few stories there i won't tell i won't share them i won't share them on the pod well we were we were we were at home yes i mean fiona fiona would get drunk get let loose grant's on the coffee you know he's pretty chilled out guys so there was adult supervision yeah because i remember i went to that party and then obviously mum and dad everyone's getting drunk well I bet you were scared and I was so scared I didn't like it because it was like my parents are drunk and like what am I doing and like and all the adults were drunk and I was crying and screaming crying I was so scared oh my god yeah because I thought it was like such a bad thing like oh my god they're drunk like losing all their inhibitions.

14:30Like, I'm crying. Like, who's going to take care of me? Like. Maybe that's because you're the elder sibling. Maybe that's that side coming through. I never felt that. Was Marianna alive? Maybe she was. Yeah. But I don't really have child memories of my parents being drunk, to be honest. I've got memories of like my granddad being drunk. They were all drunk. I don't remember see, like seeing them noticeably drunk by. But it was like all the adults were like, I don't want to get involved. Like.

15:04Oh, right. Back to the question. What's something that feels illegal, but isn't opening food in a shop before buying it? Yeah, that feels very illegal. Taking food into the cinema. Surely is that still not allowed then? Because I remember before it, like in the 2000s, it was. I mean, something that feels illegal. I mean, maybe it is illegal, lying about our age to the person at the cinema. Oh my God. How old are you? 15? Yeah, yeah, yeah. What year are you in at school? Nine. What year were you born? Why did they take it so seriously? Well, I guess that was their job. We went to see The Dictator.

15:40We were like literally 13. Yeah. We actually shouldn't have been considering that. We lied about our age. It was so nerve wracking. We'd be on the bus there, like pretending what we were going to say. Watch out, Blueberry. Right, Blueberry. Yeah, we'd be on the bus on the way into town, Cineworld, Nottingham. being like okay so what year were we born in 1996 like what school year are we in how old are we when's your birthday what should i say my birthday is yeah we're here now what a thrill then being like okay you can go in right something else that feels illegal but isn't yeah drenching yourself in tester perfume yes yeah i mean crossing the road on a red man you should go into sephoras and whatever and do your full like scalp routine or and like um put like hair masks in you may as well sleeping with wet hair i did that the other night doesn't feel nice doesn't feel great your hair looks terrible when you wake up buying a sex toy irl not having my toenails painted eating on a train yeah you can see that yeah if i've got a spicy tuna on the train i can feel a bit oops but i think you know what this is a real one going for a walk with a mug instead of a flask that does always feel like oh what am i doing today i almost made a matcha in a glass and just brought it but i thought i've got my hands full with this dog like i couldn't i often see these this couple in the park if i go there in the morning and they walk their dogs and they've both got mugs and i'm like that just looks lovely i think that's cute that's really nice walking out of a shop without buying anything yes yeah they think i've stolen something yeah sometimes i get eyed up you know if i'm in like a hoodie or whatever well i can get eyed up because sometimes i will go into my local sainsbury's and not buy anything and that's kind of weird because it's quite a small one especially if you're in a big puffer coat yeah the hood up Hood up and leggings.

17:44I like to put my hood down just to show them that I'm not trying to be antisocial. Yeah, that's nice. Asking a restaurant for salt for your food. Yeah. Yeah, that's true. Especially before you've tried it. Pulling a front wedgie out in public. I mean, wedgies in general. Yeah, that shouldn't really happen, should it? Really. Save it for the privacy of your own home, folks. But then men don't, you know, they're itching their, like, they're like itching their balls in public. Gross manner. Getting on the bus and touching all the scrubs. I got the bus to see the other day. That is, did you? Nice.

18:13It's been a while. Been a while. That's why we should always bring hands on everywhere. Genuinely. Because these men are always touching their balls. Weeing in a pool. Yeah, that'll do it. Oh, God. That should be illegal, really. That'll do it. See, they should have that thing in most pools where it turns bright blue. Because I'm always too scared. To expose people. So I know that that is a feature.

18:39Talking in an elevator full of strangers. yeah it's always awkward never enjoyable for me too shy myself to have a conversation chewing gum in the shower wow oh my god I've never done that I've never done that wow chewing gum walking the dog in PJs I mean that you know you've got to take them out you've got to take them out that's why I need to get a big long coat so I can hide everything underneath driving behind a police car yeah yeah that's true going to the gym in normal clothes yeah yeah that's weird Or leaving in a skirt and yeah, like stuff. Men in flip flops. Yeah. Aww. I think that's nice.

19:19That's fine. Especially in Australia. Yeah. But actually they'd go just barefoot. Yeah, they would go barefoot. That's what feels illegal. Everyone in Australia is just barefoot on the streets. That's so true. Even in the CBD. Even in the CBD there was barefoot people, wasn't there? Yeah. Have you seen Tara Banks has opened up an ice cream shop in Sydney? Tara Banks? What's the connection there? And she says she's invented hot ice cream. Yeah. Wow. It's in Sydney. That's niche. Everyone's like, what is hot ice cream? She says, no, I've invented hot ice cream. Surely it's hot cream, not ice cream.

19:54Well, no, it's hot. Her whole point is, no, it's hot ice cream. She's invented it. She took years. She's been in the lab. We should check it out next time. Check it out, Tyra. Mm-hmm. And people were queuing to get the hot ice cream. pooing in public toilets could never i cannot poo outside the house sorry i just can't do it listen we know you can what if you can poo anywhere but what if you're really you get bellyache i don't need a poo outside the house i guess it's i guess it's like we're on the on the tour bus yeah you can learn not to you can't poo on the tour bus therefore it doesn't come It doesn't come.

20:35Because you just know that you can't. I know this couple. Two in the morning. Yeah, go on. And both of them, I don't know how they actually live their life this way, but they've both got this weird thing where they have to have a shower after they have a poo. After they poo, they have to shower. Shouldn't they just get a bidet? I think, yeah, I don't know. I would love a bidet. Yeah, but they physically, they have to both physically have a shower after a poo. So how messy it's getting down there, I don't know. But not even just like, it's not even like, you know, if it's a crazy situation, it's just a regular poo.

21:13They have to shower. That reminds me of that girl. So I said, if you had a poo in the middle of the day when you were working from home, you were getting a shower. Yeah. How weird is that? Double dipping? Yeah. I mean, I've had some hummus yesterday and I was alone. What's a double dip between friends? But it just scared. Like if I was to open a pot of hummus and I had my baby cakes. Yeah. And then I could see, and then I finished like a couple of cucumbers and then there was a little bit of cucumber in the hummus. That's horrible. It would like actually just like, I'd be like, I don't know if I can revisit this hummus now.

21:47And even, I don't even know if I could scoop up that little bit where there's a little bit of cucumber. I'd be avoiding that like the plague. I'd be going all around that. But why is that? Because I'm eating the cucumber. It's there. It's fresh and nice. That's also a mental block for me. Yeah. I struggle going back to food as it is. I struggle going back to a putter grapes. Yeah. I'm not really a leftover girl. I just don't. I don't really go back to food. Although I made rice under last night and I will have it again. Oh yes, I will go back to that. Yeah, because that tastes better. Sorry, I take that back.

22:18I will go back to that. And pasta is nice. And pasta. Yeah, I will go back to that. Not fish. Not fish. I just finish my food when I eat it. I don't really save it. And finally, we've got sunglasses on when it's not sunny. Yeah. Diva. I really want those big sunglasses that people have been wearing I think I might get some I've got some in my basket I'll show you what colour? tortoise I'm in my glasses era and I need some more clear frame glasses and it's almost a shame that I don't need a prescription oh these ones aren't clear frame maybe we're thinking of something different I know what shape you're on about the big yeah I know what you're on about blogging out the haters blogging out the haters right we're gonna dive into the imp

23:07Just before we get into it, quick disclaimer. Just to say, we are not doctors. We are not professionals. We do not actually know what we are talking about. This is a lighthearted space. Okay. Don't take what we say literally because we could be wrong. Yeah. And if there's anything serious, if there's anything you feel like you're seriously struggling with, please contact a GP, a professional, because that is not us. We're just girls, girls and boys just like you, you know? We're just trying to get through life as well. Not professionals. Enjoy the episode. Enjoy. Right, we're not really sure what this involves, but we've just got dilemma help and someone's got an annoying habit.

23:40We're going to find out what this annoying habit is. Maybe it's something that feels illegal, but isn't. It feels illegal. Never thought I'd be writing in, but here we are. My work colleague has, careful Blueberry, don't knock that over. Blueberry. My work colleague has a really annoying habit. So when you sit next to someone at a desk all day, you pick up on things. Maybe they're a loud eater. Maybe they just have a weird like tick thing that they don't even realize they're doing. Yeah, all sorts of habits. I'm a 31-year-old female who has worked in a well-known supermarket for many years now.

24:13Oh, congrats. Congrats. Is it Asda? Is it Tesco? Is it Audi? Is it Waitrose? Oh, I miss when Mariana would work in Asda. She got all the deals, didn't she? Yeah. She'd mark things down for herself as one P and take them home. I applied for a job at Audi. Didn't get it. Applied for a job at Tesco. Didn't get it. Really? Those questionnaires are mental. We should have shook out at least at Mariana's book. I know. She got snagged up by Asta. I know. He wanted her. He had to do all these things online. And it was like a yogurt. You find a spilt yogurt on, you know, this aisle. What do you do first?

24:43Lick it up. But a customer is also asking for help. What do you do first? Ignore the customer and go to the manager. Go to the manager and blah, blah, blah. All these multiple choice. And it was like, I don't know, all of them sound like something you should do. And I obviously failed because I never heard back. Right. I'm a 31-year-old female in the supermarket. Around two years ago, I made a friend called Susan for a bit of backstory. We didn't speak for the first year of working together as I secretly thought she was a stuck up bitch. And it wasn't until we got talking that she told me she actually thought the same about me.

25:16Fair, fair, fair. And also big supermarkets. Yeah. You know, we don't need, it's not an intimate environment. We could easily just pass each other. So we actually kind of bonded over the fact that we both thought the other one was a bitch. We ended up becoming friends over a hair-related conversation. That's nice. We started hanging out outside of work and became super close friends. And we actually realized we were incredibly similar. That's nice. We've always had a laugh at the fact that we're not super ladylike. Openly talking about burping, farting, toilet habits. Okay, ladies. Farting on the cheese in the Tusco's aisle as you're stocking the shelves, ladies.

25:56That's lovely, isn't it? If you asked me what her favourite colour was, I wouldn't have a clue. But I could tell you her bowel habits and when she's due. All was fine until around six months ago. Oh God. What is this habit going to be then? No, she's going to have done something really disgusting, I feel. We just got into work one morning. Started our usual shift. Oh my God. I thought you said shit then. All right. It's going to be something poo related. I'm calling it right now. Started our usual shift. I crouched down doing something and she was stood beside me. Oh no, oh no, oh no. Oh no, I'm actually really scared.

26:34She then farts directly into my face. That is so rude. That is so rude. But it's not good. I looked at her a little in shock. She moved into position. She's crouched down on the lower, on the lower shelf. She's stood.

26:57I looked at her a little in shock, unsure whether I found it funny that she'd farted or in complete shock that she's directed it right into my face. Well, it's like Celia with that fart in the hot. Oh, yeah. That was so funny. Oh, bless her. She always owns up. And then Alan's like... When they're playing badminton. Yeah, he's like, Celia, we're going to need some winds over here. Shut up, Alan. and he's like i'll tell you why i voted for you it was like fart in the hut that was so funny um she found it hilarious you know what though an old lady farting is actually cute it's so different it's a little pop of wind it's so like oh i can't control it and it just smells like what would it smell like just like carrots yeah it's just like Yeah.

27:53Carrots and peas. She found it hilarious and walked away. Okay. Oh no. I didn't think anything more of it until the next year if we were together. She did it again. Six months down the line and she still keeps on doing it. I've tried laughing it off. So is she purposefully farting in your face? She's going, running over to you and going. I've tried laughing it off, making subtle hints by telling her she's disgusting. Yeah, that's all. Is that all you can say? Like, that's disgusting. Told her she smells like backed up sewer. A little seasoning smell like sewage. I've even questioned her. We need to know what supermarket this is.

28:34We do. Unfortunately, this sounds like a hygiene problem at this supermarket. Hygiene rating one, okay? Farts on all the products. Farts in the bakery. Oh, they can't be the bakers, surely. Farts on the croissants. You don't know. I've even questioned her on how boys find her so attractive when she acts like this don't get me wrong I'm all for it's better out than in but I just think doing it right next to me and in my face is a bit too much help what do I do from a very stressed Sarah who wishes she no longer had a sense of smell yeah me in green Susan in pink I mean this is this is Vati Susan not what you would think I mean a stunning lady yeah stunning Susan and yourself Sarah stunning ladies Gorgeous girls Right what you need to do When someone Is doing Right I have someone I think I have someone close to me Who burps Quite loud burps Yes Vulgar burps And it's not Acceptable It's not acceptable And you actually Like first few times You go You actually have to go That's fucking disgusting Like If you ever have a husband One day He's not going to want To be with you Like that is absolutely Disgusting And I actually Sell it to them Maybe you need to be A bit more severe Yeah You just got to go, please don't.

29:48I can smell that. Please don't do that. Actually, no, I'm being serious now. I'm being serious. That's what you need, Sarah. I'm actually being serious. Yeah, it's frank. Like we're by the croissants. People are buying these. Hold it in. You know, people are buying these. Walk down there. Like maybe go to the egg aisle, baby. Yeah. You blend in a bit more with the scent. Yeah, because the farting, you can't. No. You've just got to say and be honest. Otherwise, you're going to be living in sewage. And you don't want that. She's bold. I mean, you're obviously very close. She's very good friends.

30:17She feels very close to you. But that is just like, okay, it's just a bit rude actually. I think it's because it comes with a smell that then is an after effect on everyone else. But I guess you speak, it's kind of like humorous. She's finding it funny. Yeah. Because for the most part, farts are funny. Like for the most part, it depends who it's coming from. It depends on what circumstance. If it was a mat, no. But within girls, it could be quite funny. So I understand. But yeah, you just got to tell her seriously, like, no. And maybe we get a bit annoyed. Yeah, like, oh, go away now. Like, go away now.

31:00You're being gross. At least do it over there. Yeah. I'm being serious now. I'm being serious. That's all you can say. That's all you got to do. Right, next.

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33:32Sarah here says, are spicy books ruining my relationship? How? Hi girls. I know all about the spicy books. Just want to start by saying I love the pod. I have been an avid listener since at one. Thank you so much. One? Even listening with my Brian at times, who over the years has gone from pretending not to listen to now actively engaging and agreeing with most of the advice. Thank you, Brian. Maybe you should just get him to listen to this episode then. Yes. And we can try and do some couples counseling. Okay, so for some background. In the past year or so, I have fallen in love with reading.

34:09In particular, the fantasy romance area. Let's get it, girl. It started off with Akatar. Classic. Thank you, Sophia. You're welcome. And I quickly devoured many books that have the whole shadow daddy enemy. to lover a vibe what's a shadow daddy shadow daddy is like a real term in the box no it's what we call them they're like the shadow daddies okay it's like what they have big willies no it's a they have like powers i guess like some of them can like make shadows some of them can like Like, wheeled shadows. Some of them, let me get an actual urban dictionary phrase. I'm letting the fantasy girls down now.

34:59And who we want to be within the books. They are, you start the book and you're like, this guy's a fucking dick. Like, we hate this guy. And our main girl hates this guy as well. And then it's like, wait, actually, we don't hate him. Like, we're in love with him. It's an enemies to lovers trope. Like, we hate each other. There might be some forced proximity. And then it's like, actually. we're falling in love. Okay, okay, got it. I hope I did that justice. I don't only love the spicy scenes in these books, but also the yearning. And the tension too. Don't we all, Sarah, don't we all? How old do you think we're getting through so many books these days?

35:38Now to my relationship, we've been together for four years. We rent a flat together. He's my best friend. He is the absolute most caring and kind man i've ever met he is handsome we laugh together do have the odd argument but never anything too serious he would make the best dad ever and people that's nice this is a nice compliment and people always comment on how lovely he is i even think a proposal is coming soon our sex life has always been on the tamer side than i was used to before with my other exes but I didn't mind because all of his wonder because of all of his other wonderful attributes he always ensures that I would finish too although it does feel like the sex is for him to finish and the other activities are for me to finish which I addressed a few times and haven't seen a major change and our sex is very predictable which I've also addressed to him now I know you're thinking that he probably isn't taking on board because he's selfish in bed or doesn't care but it's not like that i think it's because he's not very confident in the bedroom and even when i speak about it he becomes noticeably uncomfortable and a bit shy okay i hate having to bring up the same thing again and again because it makes me feel like i'm asking for a more dominant man when i don't want to have to ask that defeats the purpose yeah yeah and since he's so awkward i feel bad i know he is just yeah it's not being well received it's making him more shy and more like i'm more reserved and he's thinking oh my god it's doing the opposite really and then it's it's actually doing the opposite yeah well because he's thinking oh my god more pressure more pressure she's she's not happy in the bedroom not happy in the bedroom he's feeling too instructed yes like Don't do this, do this, do this, don't do this.

37:32Less of that, more of that. Too much, maybe. I know he's just lacking the confidence, but after four years of stroking his ego, so he feels more confident. I don't know how else to build it. Yeah, I hear you. Back to the box. I now find myself fantasizing about these make-believe men. I am fully aware it is setting a very high bar, and I don't know if they're - Yeah, you've got to remember, Sarah, it's a man written by a woman. Yeah, it's absolutely the case That's why we're all falling in love Because this man has been written by a woman It's been written by Sarah J Maas or Rebecca Yaros Yes That's who it's been written by, maybe Penko Exactly It's not a man's POV And the yearning These fantasy best-selling authors are women Yes And these men are a Fictional Exactly And they are, what's the word where you say?

38:27A fraction of a woman's imagination yes yes um but but you want so you're not being satisfied in your sex life in real life but you are being satisfied in the books she's reading the books thinking i wish my fiance so then when you're snogging partner did that brian you're picturing mr shadow mr shadow daddy yeah i am fully aware it's setting a very high bar and i don't know if there is some double standard there as I would be annoyed if my boyfriend was comparing me to some porn star, never mind some fantasy magical character. But the fact I want a dominant and confident man like in the books is seriously making me question my relationship.

39:09Shit. Shit. Oh, shit. Have you heard of these books before, Breaking Up Relationships? No, I don't think so. But then surely if you can read it, then that is a reality of something that you can get in real life. Of course. Yeah. I feel like something is missing maybe it was just a tool to make you realize oh this is not like I can't do forever with this man you've you said at the beginning like it's a tamer style than I was used to with my exes but you just and then now you're reading all these books you know it's been a few years did you say they're engaged maybe in the future oh right it's not your fiance so like you know and you're thinking like oh it's kind of bringing that all to the front of your mind again.

39:52Because you're reading it and you're hearing it and you're, you know, visualizing it. And you're like, hmm, am I missing out? Like, oh, maybe I kind of missed that side. You know, I didn't used to mind it being tamer, but now you're kind of like, it's like that part of you's been reawakened. Then maybe you're remembering, oh yeah, well remember when I slept with that Brian five years ago, that was a bit more like this. So they do exist. And maybe I'm now realizing that it's something that is more important to me and something that I want. and the books were just a tool in helping you realise that, really.

40:22Yeah. Because it sounds like you've been maybe more of the dominant one in the bedroom. Yes. But maybe you weren't in previous relationships, but you've kind of taken that role in this one. And in these books, it's very male dominant. And you've been hoping that he would gain more confidence that you've been bringing it up. You've been obviously complimenting him and telling him things that he's been doing well, but it's not being improving. I do really love him with my whole heart Again he is a fantastic partner And would move mountains for me But unfortunately he is stuck At being unable to improve in the way I want In bed I am not tooting my own horn but I know I am good In bed References to back the self She says oh I've got references to back the self Nice Check out my CV And therefore I am confident and want to feel matched in the bedroom I feel like he I feel like, I want to feel like he wants to rip my clothes off and vice versa.

41:21I want the chemistry. I've contemplated breaking up. I've had more discussions with him, but it's hard when I don't want to knock his confidence. I've led him through what I want in the bedroom more, but that's the opposite of what I want. Yeah. You can't tell him what to do. I've even put myself on a spicy book band for a few weeks to try and help. I don't even particularly look forward to having sex anymore unfortunately am I being totally unfair on him and I need a slap of reality or has reading these books just opened my eyes to what I'm really wanting from a partner is there anything more I should try am I the problem here I'm at a loss here please please help a very sexually frustrated Sarah shit so she's not even looking forward to sex at all this has really affected your sex life yeah i do think maybe even if regardless of the books four years in you will probably still be feeling like this yeah i think but the books has just been an extra tool to be like oh i'm actually lacking a lot sexually yeah right because maybe this was kind of more in your subconscious yeah and then now all these the books have brought it to the forefront of your mind that initial thought at the start yeah it's always been there yeah it's just been dormant for a few years and he is going to be a great dad yeah and he's everyone says he's so lovely yeah and you're thinking oh I've got a you know nice one here yeah but then you're not being I think if you've had all your conversations you've told him what you like you've tried to be encouraging and this and that yeah you're just at the end of the day you know especially if you're thinking like oh we're going to be getting engaged soon blah blah you don't want to be in a position where you're getting engaged and you've got these underlying kind of like oh but I'm not that happy with that and I'm not really sure about that and I'm a bit worried about that because like you're only four years in what about when you're 40 years in like Jesus well you'll be signing yourself up for the reality of what you have now for the rest of your life you're sexually frustrated you're not very satisfied I don't know I think like it it must be really bad for you to be considering like breaking up with him.

43:34I get, I'm assuming you've tried everything under the sun and it's not really working because at the end of the day, like you can't force someone to change their personality. He's never been by the sounds of things. He sounds lovely, but it doesn't sound like he's ever sort of been this like alpha dominant male for you, especially in the bedroom. And you know, if that he's never been that way. So, you know, four years in, he's not suddenly going to embody this new energy and he's not going to become this like dominant you know guy that's like throwing you around no making shadows he was making shadows he's never gonna he's not that's not his character you've tried to say yeah it's not gonna no yeah so I think if you're considering just like you're a certain way you know if you're if your boyfriend said to you now oh I really want you to be like this you'd be like well that's not me i've never been that way like i can't just be that way i don't know and also like it is very important i know like he's wonderful in every other way but it is very important to be sexually compatible in a relationship and you guys aren't no and that's it's like a deal breaker it's like if he said oh i want kids and you don't want kids it's a deal breaker so just because he's a nice wonderful he's gonna be a good dad doesn't mean you have to stay with him do you know what I mean because I think I think it's a deal breaker because I think it will seep into other parts of your relationship because now you're sexually frustrated so now you're like things that maybe didn't annoy you before about him might annoy you a little bit or I do think it will you might be a bit like sharp with him or a bit sure or just a bit like you might just get pissed off at him for no reason because you're it's like not satisfied isn't it yeah it's the annoying thing it's like i've tried to bring all these things up i've not been able to get the solution i wanted so it's like yeah you know yeah you're lovely but yeah i would think about it though sarah like yeah you've been together for four years have another conversation and let him know i might have to end this because i don't feel like we're sexually compatible and I've tried for four years but so I'm really just seeking if there's any sort of change you know progress that we can make I wonder how he finds your sex life do you think he enjoys your sex life probably not anymore because he feels that pressure and if you're not enjoying it anymore like you said he's probably sensing that yeah right because like you don't want to have sex with someone who you feel like he's like not enjoy you know he's not going to want to initiate unless do you think maybe i guess this has always been an issue i was thinking like maybe he's really in his head about this proposal and he's quite stressed and quite nervous and maybe that's why he's not been having you know but then if it's always been this way i feel like she's had many a conversation and maybe that isn't so much on his mind right now because he's thinking, well, we need to get this sex life in line.

46:42Yeah, I wonder if he does, I wonder if this is at the forefront of his mind as much as it is yours. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It probably is because it's something that you keep bringing up and it'd be like, my girlfriend keeps saying that she wants this and this in the bedroom and I can't seem to be giving her what she wants. He's probably really struggling with it. Why do you, as a last ditch attempt, get him to read a few chapters? Yeah, and say, look, this is the vibe I'm on. Say, read this. Does he even know that the books are like sexy? maybe you should get him to read something because then because they do we've said that before they do say that's like they advise men to read books written by women about sex yeah not about sex but yeah because it's like okay maybe i should say that maybe i should it might give him some inspo yeah and see like oh i now can see because that's like getting to look into the brain of a woman like what a woman wants in these fucking pages because it's written by a woman yeah so maybe if you actually got him to read a chapter have one more conversation with him saying look if we can't fix this then i think i might have to be out because i can't sign up for this yeah here's a bit of nighttime reading give this a read because this is kind of the vibes i'm on let me know yeah and then you never know he might be like yeah then maybe he can see it and then embody you know something and maybe it's a bit of role play for him i think it's just the energy he He might understand.

48:04He might be like, oh, I need to be a bit more. Yeah. Forthcoming. Exactly. All right. Good luck, Sarah. Please keep us posted. Absolutely.

48:19Right. We're going somewhere else next. Should I cut off my best friend after she slept with the best man at my wedding? Because that could be a match made in heaven. My initial thoughts is no. No. But there might be some background to it where it's like, don't go near the best man. Is the best man a husband? All right. Well, then that's definitely an issue. Hey girls, I hope you have a full Stanley in hand for this. Oh, I'm out of my matcha. Because Dilemma is full on. I had a best friend for about eight years. And she was one of my bridesmaids at my wedding this summer. We'd always been close, but I'd had issues with her when she drinks She gets silly, flirty and really reckless In the year leading up to the wedding, this became a bigger problem She started hooking up with one of my husband's close friends Someone I introduced her to And she would do it in ways that embarrassed me For example, she once left me stranded drunk with him and another time she tried to hook up with him in a family home where we were all staying.

49:28She left you stranded drunk with him. It caused a lot of tension but I kept her as a bridesmaid because of our long friendship and because I'd hoped she'd take my wedding seriously. Oh, I see. Even at my hen do, she let me down. It was a really small group, only four of us, and she ditched part of it to go and see another friend nearby, which hurt. What do you mean go see another friend nearby? But I still gave her the benefit of the doubt, telling myself she'd behave at the wedding. On the day itself, though, she completely humiliated me. After the meal, she disappeared with my husband's best man, the same guy.

50:05My maid of honor came and told me they had had sex multiple times in different parts of the house of our venue where people were staying. Oh, okay. This is, yeah. Wild. That's actually wild. This was a small wedding and the house was metres from where we had our meal and ceremony. Shut up. Guests heard them. Shut up. People walked in on them and it became obvious to everyone what was going on. That is uncomfortable. That's very uncomfortable. I later found out they'd even had sex in the bedroom my mum was sleeping in. I felt completely betrayed and disgusted and it took everything in me to not confront her and to just try and ignore it as that's not how I wanted to remember my wedding day.

50:47she missed key moments what's going on with her then? my first dance cake cutting by the end of the night instead of celebrating I was in my wedding dress cleaning bathrooms where she had had sex and left her underwear and changing my mum's bedsheets because of what they'd done it was humiliating and heartbreaking Sophia this no actually is the craziest thing I've ever heard she was cleaning up bathrooms in your wedding dress are you joking? how could you not say to her what the fuck are you doing get your scrubbing gloves on i would say to my sister go get her and kick her out like stop her out like i don't want to hit or like get someone like where's the uncle kick her out yeah also where's the groom to tell the groomsmen stop yeah what's going on like what is going on what she because all right okay i take it all back then because obviously at the start i said fine but i thought that was maybe like at the end of the night they've gone back together like that's what you normally not having sex throughout the whole event in different rooms of the manor house or whatever in mum's bloody bedroom that is what wild horrendous well she's deeply unhappy and she wants the attention for herself and that's how she's coping right now months later i still feel devastated like i've gone through a breakup i don't know if i was too harsh cutting her off completely or if that was the only option i can't see myself forgiving her but i also don't know how to stop feeling so heartbroken attached to some of our wedding pictures i thought you might like to see them no i can't believe oh my god oh my god sarah look at the pack of her dress stunning you're like a fairy no i can't believe that oh my god these are beautiful oh wow at least you got these oh my god sarah you look incredible oh my god that is so sweet oh that's really nice oh oh this is like the manor vibes let me see oh my god it looks so cozy that looks gorgeous it's like a garden this is the guy that she was hooking up with before right i think so yeah yeah and they just obviously how does your husband feel about it because it's his best friend has acted in the same way like he's just as guilty are men different though when they like men oh did like when because he was the best man he had a big role like when like men's mates go and have sex with a girl they're like oh yeah it's not as where'd you do it oh yeah go on then hey yeah good lad good lad like like right it's like i don't think on the wedding day i will i know sure surely but that's why i think it would be like Like what the fuck are you doing?

53:31He would have gone and stopped it. Like after the first wind of it, say stop that. Like stop it. Not throughout the event. And I understand on your wedding day, you don't really want to confront it too much because it's like, I'm not letting my wedding day be about this. You're like desperately trying to be present and have a really good day. I can only imagine the whole day. You're like, enjoy it, enjoy it. Like best day of your life. Like have fun, have fun. Ignore it, ignore it. But then it's still going on. I don't know how you would handle that. I'd have to tell I'd say someone tell them to stop yeah I don't I don't think you should be friends with anyone personally no me neither and I think you've told her multiple times about this behaviour about the drinking and leaving you and going to have sex yeah it's a repeated offence at this point and I think she knew that something like that you know the fact that that is the lasting memory of your wedding yeah you know you went to a wedding at the weekend and if I went to a wedding at the weekend and that was happening that's the story And we said, how was the wedding?

54:30Oh, you never fucking believe it. I wouldn't even tell you about anything else. You never fucking believe it. One of the bridesmaids and the grooms were having sex all night. I saw them. Bedrooms, bathrooms, we heard it. Like six separate occasions. Like that would be the lasting memory of that wedding. And unfortunately for you, Sarah, you know that that's what everyone was talking about. And it's kind of took away from your day. And it was selfish from Sarah because she knew. Very selfish. I think she's probably going through it. That was probably how she was trying to cope with. She didn't want you to have your moment.

54:59stuff and she didn't want to be especially for like cutting the cake your first dance yeah it's like she didn't want to see it she didn't want to see you happy she didn't want to see everyone there to celebrate you like she wasn't there wildly disrespectful yeah that's not a friend of yours i don't think the fact that like it's got to be the final fact that they were going around i can't actually believe it it's got to be the final yeah i think you and i would hope that your husband is having some big chats with this best man as well. Because it takes two to tango. Like it was both of them. Completely.

55:34You know. She wasn't having sex with the pole. She was having sex with that man. That's in, like in her bridesmaid dress or whatever. No. When people saw them. And heard them. And heard them. Repeatedly. That's it. It's the hit. Like we're at a wedding. We're at a wedding. It's 6pm. Yeah. And like you're missing moments. Yeah. I'm cutting the cake. Where's my bridesmaids? Where are you? Yeah. Oh, she's off having sex. Like, can't you just wait a sec until the night's done? Can you wait until the evening? Like, yearn a little. Right? Where's the yearning gone? Like, literally, where's the yearning in the kitchen?

56:03Build the tension. Like, why are we doing it? Can't we just gaze at each other across the room? Like, doing it in the kitchen. Yeah. Not needed. Like, on my wedding day, that's not needed. I would not be speaking to her again. I think, like, this was the complete and utter final stroll. And I'm really sorry that she behaved like this on your wedding day. But I don't think that is any friend of yours. I think she's obviously going through some things. thing she's having a bit of a crisis i think and i think it's really disrespectful behavior very inappropriate and you're within your rights definitely definitely at least you can i'm just sorry that that because like you don't get that day back you know and she knows that listen maybe one day you'll be able to laugh at it maybe it's give it 20 years yeah when it's her wedding day and you're having sex on the fucking altar.

56:50Yeah, yeah. Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned. Hail Mary. Right. I just don't think she's got any space in your life anymore. No, definitely not. That's just not. I can't believe it. I wasn't expecting that. You would not dare, you would not behave like that. Who behaves like that? She must have been on substances. Maybe she was on substances. Maybe she was. Maybe she was. Because you don't do that. You don't behave like that. You don't. Especially when you've been. Even on alcohol. Especially when you've been known to act a bit silly on alcohol. Imagine if Chintzy had said to me, imagine if I was known for like doing crazy shit when I was drunk and you said to me on my wedding day, I'm not having any of this.

57:31Like I would be going and thinking I'm not touching a fucking drop. Yeah. Best fucking behavior today. I know what I'm like. I know what I'm like. Yeah. You would be so like aware. If someone's told you like, you know, you behave like this and I don't want that on the day, you would be so aware of your behavior would you not well a normal person a normal person would yeah but maybe the groomsman gave us something we don't know what these people are smuggling we don't know what they're smuggling and you know when i went to that chocolate shop yesterday um i had ashwagandha chocolate what's that do you know ashwagandha is no oh my god let me tell you what ashwagandha is what is it like a weed i think it just helps you helps the body reduces anxiety so it's a loose smell it's like a CBD yeah like a loose smell it's a calming thing it sounds more crazy than it is I think wow I don't want any of that on my wedding day Ashwagandha's Bandits of Me on the wedding day right should we do another one yeah

58:39have a ring specific focus style i'm gonna have we've had a lot of fiancés in the house today spicy book girl she wasn't a fiance she was coming and now this one yeah am i ungrateful for wanting the ring my initial here is that he's giving her a harry bow ring right he's proposed he said the ring will come the ring will come and she's like i want it now where's the ring but he's like does she just not even does she think no it's not right oh a specific big ring i don't i think you're within your right to request what ring ever you want yeah likewise absolutely that is the token of you know of the lifetime together no yeah i need some advice and a bit of perspective me sarah and my boyfriend brian are both 27 we've been together for four years boyfriend she's not got one yet uh so that's the harry bow out the window we recently bought a house together about two months ago which was a huge step and I am genuinely grateful for that but here's the thing I've always been really open with with Brian about wanting to get engaged before we even think about kids I've said for years that 2025 is when I'd love for it to happen I mean it's November time's ticking babe and we've even maybe it's gonna be a Christmas day proposal yeah it could be it could be he's got yeah one day to yeah he's got a couple months to get it in we've even spoken about planning a wedding for 2027 so we'd have enough time to save okay you guys are chatting about it we've just come back from a holiday in greece and honestly i thought this was going to be the moment he joked before about proposing in roads mentioned my nails even told me to get oh well that was mean to get the outfit i'd said i'd want to be engaged in so naturally i thought this was the trip he told you get an outfit you want that's really mean like maybe he just chickened out did he just chicken out or he's really trying to throw you off the scent and it's just he's getting a bit too much with it surely he would know that you're gonna feel let down yeah that was a bit silly of him on our last night i wore the dress we had the sunset it was the perfect setting which i even wore a white dress for but nothing happened later he told me quote i've got it all planned but i'm not going to do it when you expect it it's happening sarah no man is saying all this sure why are you emailing it's happening short like a man that doesn't want to propose isn't saying this is he but why he also said pack the outfit you want to yeah that's actually cruel i think like that's a bit mean i think maybe he saw Or as I'm really going to throw her off.

1:01:24But like, no, you've actually just let me down. You've told me to pack this back, this dress. I'm wearing it tonight. It's our last night. That's actually fucking cruel. It's a white gown. Yeah. You know, you've been saying all this bullshit. Yeah. And then you sat, and then I'm sat thinking it's happening. You said, don't worry, I've got it all planned. And it's like, not tonight. Like, come on. Yeah, you can only be let down from that. So she felt really upset. It really stung because I don't have any more annual leave this year. Our next trip is Disneyland, which I've said, I don't want to ring.

1:01:53and then my cousin's wedding in Cyprus. But like, that's my cousin's wedding. Obviously not the time either. Realistically, Greece would have been the perfect moment. I told him. Maybe it's not happening abroad. Well. Because clearly. Yeah. You think it's happening on a - But don't tell me to pack the dress. That's actually fucking cruel. Yeah. You think it's happening on a holiday? Because maybe what's happened here is you obviously both, he knows that it can only be so much of a surprise at this point because he's already told you it's coming by the way like i've got it covered leave it with me so he's thinking okay some element of surprise has gone because she is now waiting for it it's not really going to be a like oh my god it's it is still going to be oh my god but like you're you're waiting so he is trying he's going to do it in he's going to try and catch you off guard as much as possible so i think holidays it's not going to be happening any holidays we're chatting too much about it at this point we are he's trying to get it not he is going to be one you're not expecting it yeah he wants to try and give you the best surprise possible right well look sarah said i told him kind of know that it's coming does that make sense i told him i was upset and he made out i was being selfish and ungrateful So now we're arguing about it.

1:03:15Oh no. Selfish and ungrateful is kind of crazy. No, you told me. Yeah. Pack my engagement outfit. What color are your nails? Don't call me selfish. You're calling me selfish. No. I'm sat here in Greece. This is our vacation in Greece. We've been looking forward to watching the sunset. I feel this is like, so she said, so she, I told him how upset I was and he made out like I was being selfish and ungrateful, pointing out how much money he's already spent. well I've not I don't know if you have oh we're talking too much about it but for me it's not about the money yeah it's about the commitment I don't want to keep doing the wife role on a girlfriend's salary cooking washing running a house still not having the rent yeah you shouldn't be doing that Sarah and when I've been crystal clear about what it means to me I do get that houses are expensive and maybe he wants the timing to feel like a surprise but am I wrong to be annoyed am I being ungrateful for wanting that moment now when we've already made such a big commitments together attaches a photo of said white proposal dress love sarah oh so it's still not happened obviously not no no the picture's not loading for me i need to see it is yours is yours loading let me dive in and have a look oh so yeah it's like now we're arguing about it now you're calling me ungrateful now it's all about money and you're telling me how much money you've spent and but then it's like is it even gonna happen is has it even oh my god it's a beautiful dress has he even bought the ring like i don't know she's got i'm gonna cry for you sarah she's got a white bag and her white heels on no it's actually a joke i'd be really upset oh sarah you look gorgeous white slides white dress white bag she's got a french tip hands and a french tip toes no that's actually you know how cruel that is oh and a hat she washed her hair that night as well yeah she did a fresh blow dry and then he's got the audacity to say you're being selfish you you told me to pack this dress.

1:05:08You told me to. Like, come on. I was so silly of him to do that. What is your, what is the percentage you think that he hasn't actually bought a ring?

1:05:20And he's just bluffing you the whole time. He's saying, yeah, it's going to come. Don't worry, I've got it planned. Trying to shush you, but it's actually just making you louder. Do you know what I mean? And really, he's not got anything planned. I don't know, because you guys have bought a house together. But yeah, the point being that he spent all his money in the house right now and he's and he hasn't but like i can i can respect that oh yeah me too but he's not told out look it's not gonna happen this year he keeps saying it's coming it's coming i would like to think that he wouldn't be giving you false hope if he knows how much you want it it's clearly a topic that's like being discussed a lot we've spoken about getting married in 2027 so i would like to think that he wouldn't be stringing you along.

1:06:04I think it like those holiday comments, you just shouldn't have said it. And also I would like to think in hindsight, he also wishes that you shouldn't have said that because that is just false hope and you're only going to be disappointed. I think maybe he, I'm hoping that he just really wants to give you the best proposal ever. And he really wants it to kind of catch you off guard, take you by surprise. And just, I hope that he wants it to be amazing for you. So maybe he's getting a bit annoyed maybe when you keep bringing it up because he's thinking like, I want it. I'm trying to get it off.

1:06:48I'm trying to, I don't want you to be thinking about it because I want to try and like, I don't want you to know that it's happening before it's happening i don't i don't know to be honest i'm not sure all you can do is wait but you've let him know how important it is and if he is just like like not actually wanting to do it i guess you'll find out within the year and then if he's not doing it by by if he's not doing it by next summer then you can be like look if you're never going to do it then i need to find someone who's going to want to marry me because that's something i want you know yeah because maybe it's like yeah yeah yeah sure sure sure and it's like oh shit she actually does want it you know yeah maybe but also you guys like the only thing I would say is like you've just bought your house you're moving into your first home like that is such an exciting period like not everything needs to happen at once and you know when you get engaged like that's gonna be amazing but it's so nice to have that to look forward to.

1:07:50Like, I think you need to kind of like have it as something like, oh, that's going to happen one day. And I can't wait for that to happen. And less of like, I need it to happen now. I need it to happen now. Like you, like if you guys are going to be together for the rest of your lives, it's so nice to have things to look forward to, you know, like focus on the house. You've just hit a huge milestone in your relationship. You've got this shared mortgage, like you're decorating this and that, like enjoy the time that you're in and then you can enjoy like the being engaged and then you can enjoy being married and then you can enjoy this like not everything needs to happen so quickly I think she's more concerned with the fact that she's now acting wifey in the home and he's not actually put a ring on it and she's like I'm still your girlfriend I'm not actually happy about this I'm doing your cooking and cleaning and all of this and I'm acting like a wife I know but does it change that much well like are you gonna turn into a different person when you get engaged you're still you well no she's saying like i'm not your wife yet i need that ring because why am i like i'm not like i'm not just gonna be a girlfriend forever if you want a wife at home like i'm still on the girlfriend's salary like girlfriend package yeah and it's like i shouldn't be doing any of this yeah like you need to do it now like no because i'm not doing your cooking and your cleaning and stuff don't know then sarah but yeah good luck it probably it should happen but i think if by next summer he's not done it then it's some sort of he doesn't want to it's like an avoidance thing and he's actually just telling you what you want to hear because some men do that because he's thinking oh i've locked her down we live together now i don't need to do that and he's just not telling you that he's not going to do it he's trying to distract you and send you what you know possibly you know because they're thinking he's locked you down now you've bought a house together thinking she's not going anywhere there's no rush for that when really you're thinking no there is a rush it's still a priority for you yeah but I think I think maybe he's thinking look we've got the house I'm not rushing about yeah keep us posted Sarah I hope it goes well you could have a beautiful Christmas proposal yeah that's true a beautiful new year proposal by the Christmas tree a Valentine's Day proposal like you know I've got every faith that it's going to work out how you want it.

1:10:05So I think if by January 1st you haven't got it, so what's going on here? Could be a new year. Could be a new year talk. Yeah. What are our goals for this year then? Get engaged, I guess. Be serious to him and say, are you even going to want to do it? Like, are you actually, like, just be honest with me because I feel like you're actually not going to do it and you're just trying to get me to forget. I think anyway, but hopefully, fingers crossed, he's just trying to explain your opposite. This has been a themed episode. we've got someone's had a dream proposal I'm sorry Sarah if you don't want to hear this right now I'll Sarah before but we need a moment now for our brine of the week so we've had Jess email in and she's saying I want to nominate Jo for being amazing and pulling off the best proposal I could ever ask for backstory I'm an apprentice radiographer and I have to go to uni three Three times a year for a week period.

1:10:58The rest of the time I'm based at home and work there. Last week was my week at uni. So I said goodbye to him on the Sunday as usual. On Monday, I finished my day of lectures and came out to a message from him saying he was in the car park. Bear in mind, I'm about two and a half hours away from our home. Shit. I was super confused by this, but went with it. Excited to see him. And he started driving to a destination saved in his maps. I had no idea where we were going, but just went with it. meanwhile he's getting very stressed as we hit every traffic light we finally arrive we're at the beach there's a stunning sunset and he as he walks me forward towards the water and stand facing it he had a surprise little did i know he was setting up a tripod with my phone to capture the moment he proposed he joins me begins with saying with the permission of your dad and then Honestly, I couldn't tell you what else he said.

1:11:53I totally blacked out. It was the most magical moment ever. The sunset was stunning. A few people around were cheering and clapping. And we had the joy of calling all our favorite people to share the news. He did everything perfectly. I've always said I'd love it captured so I can look back at this special day. The ring is everything and more. And he completely surprised me by traveling to my newbie. Joe and Jess. Oh my God. Look, that's them on the beach. Oh, Joe and Jess. Oh, my God. And there's the ring. That's beautiful. Oh, congratulations, Joe and Jess. Joe and Jess. Oh, my God. You're beautiful.

1:12:34See, Sarah, you've got all this to look forward to. It's lovely to have it in the pipeline. Yeah. Oh, thank you, Joe, for pulling off a great proposal for our Sarah. We love that. That was brilliantly executed. All right, guys. if you want to email your dilemmas and your star of the week submissions you can do that at hello at the girls bathroom.com yes we will see you next wednesday and we'll see you on monday if you're a part of the group chat on patreon for your bonus episode absolutely follow us on instagram tiktok youtube bye

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