Girl Talk: Who even IS my SISTER...

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0:50What is up, you guys? Hello, everyone. It's your favorite podcast, The Girls Backroom. Yes, welcome. Come in. We've obviously got the lineup today. Obviously, we are beverageed out today. We are beverage enthusiasts. We always have been, always will be. As much as we are foodies and creatures of food, we also thrive with our beverages. Absolutely. Absolutely, Sophia. I always like to have a range of beverages. Me too. If I had my way in this line, do you know what I also saw on there? they have an iced chocolate oh my god i read it yesterday we should have ordered it chocolate milk then a bit of nesquik essentially it was a hot chocolate but there is an option for it to be iced you know what i've been craving just putting some angel delight in the fridge and whipping it up wow see i've never even had that yeah you've never had angel delight oh my god what a deprived childhood yeah i wasn't allowed all the things you say you were allowed loads of good always the sun bites in chintzy as crisp cupboard oh yes and always those nice sticks and you know what memory unlocked animal biscuits oh were you allowed animal biscuits yeah animal biscuits and do you know what else do you know what else i discovered like maybe i want to say last year maybe not for you because i've recently developed my taste buds and i actually like peanut butter but reese's animal biscuits reese's animal biscuits yeah like reese's peanut butter animal biscuits yeah had their own little version of that animal biscuits are still out yeah i believe so yeah animal biscuits are still out i don't think they are why would they not be they were just gone into liquidation no you can't discontinue a classic like that I'm sure the kids today aren't having animal biscuits.

2:43I don't believe. I think they are. I don't believe so. Still around. I don't believe so. As are Sun Bites gone. What? They ain't gone. You're just making up lies. I think Sun Bites are off the shelves. Yes, animal biscuits are still very much around. I've got to get myself to the supermarket. Fake news. Yeah, honestly, get off Zap and get in the actual supermarkets and you'll see what's there. What? I don't think Sun Bites exists anymore. No, Sophia. Why would Sun Bites not exist? Oh my God, yes. But they're not kind of the same in the mini packs. Like this isn't the same. No, you're just zooming in on the wrong thing, darling.

3:22Like this isn't an animal biscuit. Like what is, oh, here they are. Yeah. Morrison's. Shout out. There she goes. She's not in Morrison's these days. But they need to bring back the classic. Morrison's is my least favourite supermarket. I hate Morrison's. Don't slag off the doughnuts. i've never had a morrison's donor but i do not like morrison's no no no sort the fridge out she's got a healthily stocked fridge actually astor is really where it's at morrison's i remember no so it would be like sometimes a weekend treat so we had this retail park nottingham's full of retail parks retail park near us and it had a morrison's and a b and q so on a weekend they'd be like right we'll go to b and q because dad was always going to be in q dad was always going to i was gonna say what do you mean every weekend b and q what you came in b and q i don't know dad's getting all sorts from b and q so for us it was like right healy's on healy's on we're going to b and q yeah burn off some energy at b and q so and then we would go to morrison's and get the donuts nice they are so fucking good the morrison's i just did like the air in morrison's like there was something about yeah i no offense morrison's but you're not my favorite shop but the donuts like the bakery counter in that brown bag the jam donuts elite fair i mean i really like sainsbury's me and i really like tesco and i really like asda i think i prefer asda over tesco i don't like asda i don't like tesco really why'd you say it then because i was just trying to you know it was peer pressure i was just trying to fit in with my i like tesco when i lived at my old house in nottingham i would always go to tesco yeah there was that Tesco yeah yeah but I like the 24 hour Asdas yeah see I was never an Asda girl but I know you grew up on an Asda fridge yeah I was an Asda girl we never had an Asda near us so it wasn't really a thing for me see my mum took the drive out I know she did because she preferred it don't know why because it was cheaper is Asda cheaper?

5:19Asda price yeah I thought the supermarket it's so funny like when's a new supermarket going to come into the fold? there's not that's it hmm because Asda's Walmart is it they were bought by walmart yeah i never knew that i sound a bit nasal do you think no you think you sound really good i actually had a really drink i had a nice peppermint tea last night so that's nice if you've got a blocked nose oh no actually doesn't really help i don't want to get addicted to nasal sprays like you i've never used a i was gonna say these um you can get like nose vents that you push in your nose and they spread your nose out for easy breathing because sometimes i have to go like this yeah just so i can breathe like my my nostrils are so teeny tiny tell me about you know it's a hard life out here you know with this deviated septum you know well we're here welcome back i did have a gorgeous trench coat on but i spilled all my smoothie down beverages down it i've now i'm sporting some camos today um these are from my granny because she's very cool she is uh guess where she found them wait so is this a new purchase of hers yeah this is a new purchase okay nice she bought them on ebay she loves ebay she finds loads of good stuff on ebay um so she bought these camo trousers from ebay and they're very herself for herself yeah very cool very trendy for her walking yeah just for like life with some sandals you know she's like that um and obviously they were too big they literally like fell off her i think she'd fit in like one leg of these and um yeah she made me try them on and perfect fit they're gorge so obviously camo is back girls camos there's something about camo never shines the camo and the cargos come out you know what would look nice with those cargos this yeah i was going to say that before we started recording that's so weird i was like our combined outfits would look really good today yeah yeah cargos everyone needs a pair of cargos everyone needs a pair of camos well i bought i went into brandy melville especially for summer because it's a nice switch up for the jeans baby tea and camo joggers wow so we're so seen it because when i went to rome and i went in the brandy melville there was camo everywhere and i was like camo must be in because this is what the Gen Z is wearing.

7:47Well, they had those little booty shorts. Yeah, I saw them. I thought, I can't squeeze in those, but like little bras and little real cute stuff. Saw them. Really nice. Yeah. So happy girl talk. We're here, live and direct. Should we dive into the question of the week? Yeah, take it away. Oh, me. Sure. Right, I'm going lidless with my beverages, which is a risky little game. That is just not a good idea. It's leaking from the lids. Yeah. Be careful. Don't mind me, stay calm. be careful no one make any sudden movements right well you're lucky Blueberry's not here she's at daycare today guys she's with her friends having a fun time in the sun yeah she's having fun in the sun there's no windows in this studio like I know she needs her vitamin D it's her first summer time you know I want her to you know enjoy the sunshine while it's out would she have been conceived about this time last year?

8:36uh how long are dogs pregnant for? I don't know that's a really good question that's a really really good question that I'm gonna google right now I think it's say it's like 16 weeks what but they come out and they're walking and talking so like yeah like 16 weeks nine weeks for a full pregnancy how long do what were you gonna say three years i thought at least six months because like what dogs are only pregnant 58 to 68 days like two months. Jesus. Yeah. How many were in Blueberry's family? Like eight. Our first dog Coco was one of 16. 16 chocolate labs. Oh Coco. Right. Question of the week. What's a lie you told in the moment that you're still committed to years later?

9:37Oh my god that is so stressful. That David Cameron gave me a piece of bacon at the breakfast buffet of a hotel when I was seven. He was the prime minister, right? After Tony Blair. Who remembers Tony Blair? Me. Never forget. Never forget Tony Blair. Never forget. And who was that other one? David Cameron was after Tony Blair, right? Gordon. Was there a Gordon? I was going to say Gordon Ramsay. Who was Gordon? It was Gordon Ramsay. Gordon Brown. what between him and david yeah because david was like we were like teenagers so knowledgeable on all these prime ministers yeah insane

10:25i don't remember but i remember what he looked like he's a bit of silver fox tony i think yeah the picture i've got in my head smaller bit of a longer hair yeah a bit more of a i'm picturing him with a suntan but then david cameron he was more clean he was clean cut yeah Yeah, clean cut. But Gordon was... A bit like box-like. He wouldn't have been our type. No, not that... That's for sure. I don't think any of them would have been our type. If any of them would have been our type, it would have been Tony. It would have been Tony, for sure. Maybe we could go on there. Mr. Blair, gorgeous second name.

10:58Because you know what I've been watching? The Age show, The Age Attraction show. Oh, I've seen it all. Yes, let's connect. And maybe we would have connected with Tony on The Age and the Attraction. I think some of those men are a bit weird so do I and I also like I don't want to judge you know that that girl's 21 yeah you're telling me you thought she was 30 I can see that you've got grey hair so the only thing that like I only watched I've only watched two episodes but I didn't enjoy like it didn't sit right with me that she was dating someone younger than her child yeah like she's got a 29 year old I knew he was going to be 27 Yeah, I thought he was going to say like 24.

11:39As soon as she said my son is 29, I was like, well, he's definitely going to be 26. Yeah, I was like, no, come on. Yeah, but she's in love with him now. No, no. How's that going to work? Well, I've seen the flash forwards. It doesn't appear to work. The kids aren't happy with it, so. Shock. Yeah. How did we get there? Right, another lie, because we were talking about David Cameron. That I went to a football match with my brother-in-law when really I went with my ex. Nice. that's a solid lie sorry these are I've got to get my head around this these are lies so she lied that she went to the football with her brother-in-law but she actually went with her ex oh okay a little date solid yeah so I lied about this till this day not me I'm just trying to make it easier for us to understand it's alright no one's trying to catch you out till this day my husband who my husband believes he's the only man I have slept with well that's his fault I'm in fault isn't it to be honest I mean what he won't know won't hurt him but oh yeah that's a lie you've got to maintain absolutely there's only one that i'm keeping but it's not jumping to my mind how's he gonna know how's he gonna know how would they know he won't know how would they know you know right another one when i was a kid i used to say i was allergic to lilies for attention now i'm committed yeah fair fair i keep seeing tiktoks are being like what can i do for attention already done a marathon i'm running have list yeah what else was it taking up a new hobby get pregnant getting pregnant or oh what was it there was some good ones i saw this girl and she was like she's a good one i might start like i'm gluten gluten dairy intolerance yeah cannot stomach gluten yeah i did see that one girl and she was like um i don't know what else to do for attention and i really don't want to start running so what else is it gonna be we should look at the comments for inspo maybe i'll get myself a pair of trainers and i'll start my running journey oh here she goes absolutely not the last run i went on was about three years ago and the feeling in my hips like we were on a run together in palm springs oh right that was the last no that was two years ago we were the last year oh yeah sorry okay my last run i caught you in a lie but you're still keeping up yeah was two years ago with Miss Sophia Tuxphone.

13:55That was a rough one. Wasn't as rough for me though. Rough for Lydia. Bless her. Lydia was being sick. She was in the wrong trainers and she was on her period. Yeah, she was in Air Force. She was in Air Force. She just wanted to hang out with the girls. They'll slow you down. Right. But Chintzy has got the running genes. If anyone's got the running genes it's Chintzy O 'Baila Solo. I know. She used to run around those carton streets like no one's business with that Michael Bublé Christmas album on. I used to do 10Ks before it was cool. Before TikTok was even a thing I was doing 10k's around this bitch yeah she sure was you know and we were on the Stairmaster as well like 16 years old we were on that Stairmaster that's not right yeah and then we would go and do like a half an hour spin class and then a workout in that studio I don't know what we were doing we were doing HIIT workouts on our own at 16 yeah but we had all that vegan influence yeah in our brains world till four you know um I've been farting in my boyfriend's room for the last six years and he still believes it's the trains outside.

14:53Fair enough. You've got a good deal there. You can release your bowels and he doesn't know anything about it. Have you been watching Strawberlina and Lemonita? Yeah, I've been seeing it a little bit. I'm not fully caught. Strawberlita's farting and stuff. Have you been seeing Love Island with the Fruits? Yes. I tried to lock in them on episode three. Oh, okay. And they've done a Traitors one now. No way. We need to lock in. But we shouldn't support AI. Sorry. Told my boyfriend I was a size three because it sounded cuter. Now all my shoes are too small. Ouch. Fucking hell. Size three is so small.

15:29You're going to lose your toenails, Sarah. Be careful. I know. Walking around in like two small shoes, that's actually... It's really not good for you. Ouch. I tell people I was a Leli Kelly shoe model as a child. That's iconic. I like that line. We should pick that one up. That's really cool. I'm going to steal that. No, that's a cool line. I always wanted to be the kids on those adverts. they were the coolest. They must have got free shoes as well. A girl in my school said for 13 years she had a twin until her parents clarified she didn't. Well, wow. That's Tracy Beaker type lies, that is. I always believed Tracy.

16:02I never quite grasped that. Me? Yeah. I always watched Tracy Beaker thinking, and you did believe her poor mum's in Hollywood. But the whole point was that those dreams, they were fake. I thought they were real, though. I thought that was real. Really? yeah it took me a long time to be like oh i mean maybe i was not from hollywood i thought you put the whole point it was sad she's not come back yeah i know well i thought she was working yeah genuinely genuinely i thought you know i thought the whole thing was like god i wonder why your mom would come and see her no there was that one episode with yeah that was like near the end and I think that's when I realised like oh your mum wasn't a Hollywood star but why did her mum come back then maybe just to see her oh that's really sad because it was Cam wasn't it that then had fostered her but Cam was taking the piss wasn't she she was and then she would take her back why was Cam doing that when Cam was around why were we taking her back that is so yeah because she would go and stay with her in her flat oh but then would she misbehave and then she'd get sent back possibly we'd have to watch it again You know, you've got to...

17:13Cam, she should have just committed to Tracy. She had a lot going on. Cam did. Cam didn't have anything going on. I don't think. Did she? I've got no idea. She had time and space. I was just trying to be devil's advocate for Cam. For Tracy, I believe. Right, last one from me. We've got... It was my sister that used to pour water on my parents' bed when they pissed me off. Wait, my... It was my sister that used to pour water on my parents' bed. Oh. No. Wait. Oh, okay. I got it. Sorry. I was literally confused. So you would do it, but it was really your sister. Iconic. Ha. Classic. Well, yeah, I got away with everything because I would just blame it on the younger ones.

17:53Yeah, look at you, boss of the household. That's, you know. I mean, you know what me and my brother would do? Big sister rule 101. Me and my brother would always, not always, but like occasionally, we had these like weird Halloween masks. And like the dynamic in our house was like, my brother would always get in trouble. And like, I wouldn't really get in trouble. and then we would put these masks on, swap clothes and like run around the house and like be like misbehave and then my mum would genuinely think that I was Cam and she would think that he was me. Fiona, you need to go spend savers, babes.

18:27But we were like the same height and like it was like when you're young, you're like kind of the same. So yeah, weird. Well, we were all the cash thieves. That is so bad. Well, dad had cash all over the house. You were always the cash thief. Little 20 quid here, little 10 quid here. I saw this girl on TikTok this morning. Oh, I didn't take that money. Lydia took it. I saw this girl on TikTok this morning and she made her mum a birthday card. And it says like, dear mum, like found this money in dad's purse. Like happy birthday. It's like a hundred dollar bill. That's iconic. Right. Okay. What's a lie you told in the moment that you're still committed to years later?

19:09I told people on a night out I was a fake plasterer I was a plasterer I had to make a full fake IG with fake pics whoa well that's a big lie I mean do you remember that time we were in that rock city queue were you there and this like boy had a little torch and I took it off him and started asking everyone for their IDs and they kept showing me their IDs I would just go up to people like ID please and you would follow suit yeah I'd give you my ID I think you were there we were just like messing with people in the queue that we were like gonna check their id and take their ids off we were cool weren't we don't know we were crazy that i like my boyfriend stir fry he made it on our i hate stir fry i love stir fry but i never have it i hate stir fry i mean that's giving very homemade stir fry like that's just fiona and grant law yeah and angela bayless my granny would always make rhubarb crumble like every sunday and my dad hates rhubarb because it's so sour but it literally took him like 20 years to say that he didn't he would always just eat it that's a good man he doesn't like rhubarb that i played for my city's football team when i was eight i did not pretended i was a vegan at work so i wouldn't have to clean the hot dog machine that's smart one very smart i used to tell people my sister was dating dougie from mcfly oh cool very cool told people my auntie is dolly parton wow nice told my family me and my boyfriend met in the queue at Gales.

20:38We met on Hinge. Oh my God. That's a lot to keep up. That's a nice romantic story. My husband thinks I cook a roast chicken on a weeknight. It's an M &S rotisserie. That's me. I'm allergic to nuts. I'm not. My mum told me that so I didn't eat her Snickers bar. Oh my God. Perfect. Right. Let's dive in to some dilemmas. Absoluma.

21:08Just before we get into it, quick disclaimer. Just to say, we are not doctors. We are not professionals. We do not actually know what we are talking about. This is a lighthearted space. Okay. Don't take what we say literally because we could be wrong. Yeah. And if there's anything serious, if there's anything you feel like you're seriously struggling with, please contact a GP, a professional, because that is not us. We're just girls, girls and boys just like you, you know? We're just trying to get through life as well. Not professionals. Enjoy the episode.

21:35Speaking of unnecessary lies, we've got here, help. Helch. My friend, Helch. My friend keeps lying to me for no reason. Just call her out. Let's see what she's lying about. I, 25, recently moved to Australia to live with my fiancé and met a girl, 29, through his friend group. We've become close. we work out together, spend one day off each week together and genuinely laugh a lot. On the surface, she is sweet and fun to be around. But over time, I've started noticing patterns that make me uncomfortable. She often exaggerates or tells stories that don't add up. I mean, we're all guilty of a little bit of an exaggeration sometimes.

22:21A little bit of exaggeration. Just to make a little bit more exciting. One time we were in her car with her other friends. I casually asked, how how much does it cost to buy a house in Australia? Because my fiance and I are planning on buying a house. They all gave me price averages. And two minutes later, she told us that she just bought a house. And I genuinely got so happy for her. And we all congratulated her. Then a few weeks later, when I asked her about the house, she said she didn't buy one. Right. That was a bizarre lie. That was very unnecessary, Sarah. Months after that, her family mentioned that she did.

22:54So you haven't watched this year's season of Love is Blind, have you? No. with that guy. No. He's a nomad, right? What's his name? Don't know. But he is just lying. Isn't that from Cinderella Story? Basically, he's homeless. But he's... What's up with Cinderella Story? Who's nomad in Cinderella Story? Princeton Girl and... Nomad, right? Yes. But a nomad is when you're traveling around. Yeah, on the text message, babe. Just like a username. Oh, I've not liked him that much on that film. Yeah, that's okay. Anyway, he says he's a nomad And he doesn't actually have anywhere He doesn't live anywhere He says he's a nomad Anyway, he's just lying, lying, lying About everything Is he a nomad?

23:41Well, he's couch surfing Ah You know Right But he's a loser Thank you for that You're welcome So we think she did buy a house Okay Oh, so she did in the end Months after that, her family mentioned that she did oh okay if you're gonna tell lies make sure your family's on board yeah she's the type of person that would talk about it for years and keep mentioning it so i knew she lied but the fact that her family mentioned that i don't know which one to believe wait wait whoa whoa oh so just the family said she has bought a house you thought oh but she's still not confirmed it what i am confused okay she said she got a job offer in one of the most popular real estate agencies and would start in February.

24:26Bearing in mind she never studied real estate or has any experience in that field. February came and went and nothing changed. Well, selling Sunset, everyone's hopping on there and selling homes. Recently at a gathering, she casually mentioned she sold a$5 million house. That's a lot of commission. Okay, Grishel. When I asked when she started working in real estate, she said last month. That confused me because I'm around her so often that I would have known if she started a new career. I also walk past her workplace on my way to work and she's there. It's a restaurant. What? Whenever I share something, a holiday, an achievement, even that my sister owns a certain car, she's either done it too or had something better.

25:11Right. Interesting. She's also very vocal about gifts and relationships, especially in group settings. She frequently brings up what her brother bought his fiance or what his fiance bought him, especially expensive gestures. I'm not someone who talks about what my partner buys me unless I'm asked, but she tends to highlight those things often. There was one moment that stuck with me. We were at dinner and another girl complimented my engagement ring. Before saying anything about mine, she immediately shifted the attention and started complimenting her brother's fiance's ring instead. All right, those fucking hell.

25:47She didn't acknowledge mine at all. It felt small, but also intentional. Recently, she also made a dismissive comment about my brand new laptop, a birthday gift from my fiance, saying it was the old version. It felt unnecessary and slightly diminishing. That's mean. Yeah, don't like that. At the same time, she's extremely cautious with money in real life. She avoids even small expenses and always pushes for the cheapest option when we go out, which doesn't align with the luxury lifestyle she constantly describes. she's also mentioned multiple wow okay yeah she's also mentioned multiple times usually in group settings she's allergic to nuts but i've seen her eat desserts with nuts and nothing happens she's just telling herself that she's not allergic it's small inconsistencies like this make me question what's real individually all of this seems minor but together it makes me feel like i can't just exist in my life without it being matched redirected topped or subtly minimized My dilemma is, can you build a genuine friendship with someone you don't fully trust, even if they are otherwise kind?

26:53Or is this a harmless insecurity that I should ignore? I don't know if I'm being overly sensitive or if this feeling in my intuition is telling me something. It sounds like she's probably jealous of you. I mean, she is 29 and you're 25. Right. There we go. so you're younger so maybe she feels a little bit like you're further ahead she she she even though you're younger you're doing is like well i want i want to do that so like in order to make myself feel better i need to put her down and unless she's just one of those really awkward people that always feels the need to fill a silence because she's being very like oh me too oh yeah me too like maybe she's just trying to grasp onto anything to have like a common interest or it's a little bit, I mean, it's very strange.

27:43Yeah, maybe she's trying hard to be interesting herself. Yeah. Like, oh, well, my brother's fiance as well. Yeah, I know all about that. Same. Yes. I'll have a strawberry soda. But if your gut is that you can't trust her and that it is these weird vibes, I would follow that. Same. I think it stems from a little bit of jealousy, whether she's jealous of your relationship or the things you have and she can't quite handle that. And I think it's an insecurity thing. Me too. Me too. Strawberry soda. Me too. Strawberry soda. Well, because I've just started watching my episodes, which you do need to watch.

28:18Yeah, sorry, I do. And there's a lady on that called, oh, what the fuck is her name? There's the blonde lady and this other lady, Beck. Beck is quite, they're like both, they're like from the first bachelorette party when they first met already arguing. So you can imagine now they've got husbands. it was the first dinner party argue argue argue competing competing competing like literally just like have you had sex yet the other one's feeling really insecure because like comparing and like literally both competing slagging each other off like hate her in green like she looks la la la like just and it is all just jealousy and insecurity and and it's just crazy i mean if it's not doing any harm like maybe just call her out and be like i'm really confused like did you did you mean to say that because that doesn't add up with that like you don't have to say like you're a fucking liar like you could just be like oh really like they said not like did you get confused oh just like i'm getting confused about where you're working yeah like you told me that like you can be honest like just say like yeah like i see you in the restaurant you can go you can call her out but still going easy like you don't have to be accusatory and like embarrass her because i do think it's coming from a weird place yeah i think she just feels a bit uncomfortable and Maybe she feels a bit inadequate.

29:36I don't know when she's around you. Maybe she deems you as better or more successful or something. When really that is not the case. That she's got her own insecurities that she's trying to prove and keep up and make herself feel better. I don't know. That's why she feels like she has to lie about her career and the things she has and things. And what she's doing. But then the nut allergy, that's just a weird attention thing. Maybe she's doing something for attention. Maybe she should run a marathon. There we go. let's do something else instead maybe absolutely that would be really great let's find a new hobby

30:21right oh my goodness i don't know who my sister actually is whoa so this is a sister that you is this what is this you don't know you've got Is it lying to you? Is this a DNA case or is this a personality case? Are you even my sister? You know? Well, I've guzzled my smoothie. Yeah, you've really been chowing down today on the beverages. Will it really hit today? I'm really enjoying it too. Really hit. Long time listener since 2018. Wow. Jesus Christ. Absolutely love the pod. We're doing this in 2018. Coming up for 10 years. oh my I really need some advice about my sister we've come to the right place I've got two troublesome sisters I've got two troubled sisters I ain't got any but you've got in spirit in spirit Savia's got sisters for context we've never had that built in bestie relationship we do get along and I do love her we're just very different generally the case sisters are very different yep she's 28 and i'm 24 she's never really had a close friendship group or a consistent best friend what concerns me is that she seems to completely mold herself to whoever she's closest to at the time okay in her early 20s she became obsessed with a girl she met through her boyfriend this girl worked in a professional field is she the younger sibling or the older sibling she's 28 so the lady writing in is the younger one right okay so this is essentially lydia writing about me about you got it i just like to get my pov right uh this girl worked in a professional field very polished quite bougie and bit uptight my sister dyed her hair the same color bought the same outfits copied her instagram style and even studied for five years to go into the same profession well well that's a commitment studying for five years.

32:21She was really inspired. Really inspired. She was motivated. When she wasn't invited to an event, she completely spiraled. It was clear the friendship was one-sided and she thought they were much closer than they were, right? Aw. That's kind of sad. That's sad. After that fell apart, she seemed lost until she became close with another girl. Let's call her Suzanne. Suzanne. Suzanne was vibrant, spontaneous and creative. Almost overnight, my sister sold her entire wardrobe, changed her hair, quit that corporate career and decided her passion was graphic design. Oh my god. As Suzanne was a graphic designer.

33:00Oh my god. Okay. She even broke up with her boyfriend to live the same single party lifestyle. No. It was a massive personality shift from someone who barely left the house to someone unrecognizable. There have been other small versions of this over the years, but the pattern is the same. New friends, new wardrobe, new personality, new life plan. The new life plan is the one that concerns me the most. Now she's close with a big party girl, festivals, clubbing, constantly. A few years ago, she would have judged that lifestyle. Again, new hair, new clothes, new identity. Wow. She's like a woman on the run.

33:42If this was Lydia, I'd go, what the fuck are you doing? Can't keep up. Stop. Find your aesthetic. Yeah. Who are you? Again. Wait, wait, wait. She's 28. Yeah. On top of that, I got engaged two months ago. Congratulations. I being 24. Her first response wasn't congratulations. It was, so I'm going to be made of honor. I only have one sister. So we asked her to be my maid of honor naturally, even though I have a very close friendship group of 10 plus years who are my bridesmaids. Since then, she's been dismissive. She ignores wedding messages and changes this topic. She said things like, I couldn't think of anything worse than being engaged.

34:31Good job, not them, babes. And I'm so glad it's you and not me. When I mentioned I've had the same core friends since I was 16 and was planning on a bridesmaid proposal for them, she later randomly said I can't fucking stand girls who keep their same high school friendship group they need to grow up so she's making digs at you now and it's like that's actually just a bit mean these are my mates which felt very pointed when I talked to my friends and family about it they believe she's only saying this is the path I'm on stable job own a home with my fiance engaged wedding planning was the path that she was on before she sacked that lad to live this lush single life with this new friend.

35:14Yeah, she's spiraling. She's just very confused. At our engagement party, she got so drunk she could barely stand, disappeared for half the night and invited a bunch of her own friends I didn't know. When I told her about booking our wedding venue, instead of being excited, she asked if there was room for her, Brian, who she said she'd been talking to for two weeks. Bad joke. I've also caught That's actually ridiculous. Two weeks? Yeah. Respectfully, no. No. If you've been with someone a year, you're not even invited. Sorry. No boyfriends are coming to my wedding. No. No ring, no bring. Actually, no, I don't agree with that.

35:53But a boyfriend of a year, no. It's got to be two years. I think no boyfriends are coming to mine. Fair. Unless, I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I take that back. People do, the no ring, no bring is a rule though. Yeah, fair. That is some people's standard. But then some people have got kids, you know, and they're not engaged. Yeah, that's why I thought. But boyfriend of the year, nah. No plus one. When we said this before, no plus ones in my wedding. No, sorry. I've also caught her in small but strange lies, changing stories depending on who she's talking to. For example, she told me she had a friend's engagement party.

36:32The next day I asked her how it was. She said it was good. But then I later found out from another friend that she never went. She was also lying about who she follows on Instagram based on who she's speaking to. For example, I'll ask her if she follows an influencer I really like. And she would say, yes, I love them. Then I later overheard her talking to her roommate who doesn't like said influencer, to which my sister responded, yeah, same. I would never follow her. I hope it's not about me. I hate that.

37:06I think I know what's going on here. really she's locked i think i've diagnosed her it's constant shape-shifting and story changing to adapt to who she's talking to yeah i just think she's just wants to is it just like she wants to relate to whoever she's with there in that moment but then really i think it's kind of opinions i think it's kind of like the first girl where she's not really found herself yet she's not completely like she's not comfortable yet in who she is what she likes what her personality is what her interests are like she's very easily swayed by those around her clearly like she's not actually figured out who she you know if she was alone on this planet she doesn't she probably would have figured it out she probably would have had other influences but she's very like she's a mirror like she just wants to mirror whoever she's with and some people are more that way like some people are naturally more self-assured than others but it is something she needs to she needs to have a bit of like internal work to be like what do i like even just like what do i like watching on tv what color do i like like just even like small things she just needs to figure it out because she's so easily pulled i think she's just struggling i I think she's struggling to find out who she is.

38:38This week's episode is brought to you by L 'Oreal Paris True Match Foundation and the infallible three-second setting miss. After nearly 350 episodes, I think it's fair to say that we know a green flag and I think we also definitely know a red one. I think we've seen it all Sophia fair to say you know so today we're taking a quick trip down memory lane to revisit some of our biggest green and red flags over the years okay because girls 2026 is the year of high standards okay it really is and just like your ideal partner your makeup should also be full of green flags reliable trustworthy you know items that we can depend on things that show up for us.

39:17Absolutely, Sophia. You know? You know, we're done with the flakes. Okay, life's too short for a foundation that peels off by lunch. You know, luckily the L 'Oreal Parrots Tree Match Foundation and Infallible Three Second Selling Mist are dependable, committed makeup partners that you'll come back to time and time again to keep that makeup locked on. So let's get into our favorite green and red flag dilemmas. I mean, first red flag for me, Sophia. Yeah, tell me. Would be a man who steals from me. Oh, absolutely. I would hope so absolutely a thief yes a thief is definitely a red flag with the current account 20 pounds here 20 pounds here 500 pounds there dare I say a thousand pound there we're saying no to thieves that's a red flag okay green flags you know a man who gives us money gives us money I guess the opposite yeah who sends you money yeah absolutely yeah green flag I'll take that bad hygiene would be a red flag someone who doesn't brush their teeth yes brushes them once a day we had that recently also someone who doesn't and disguises it with yeah You can't just disguise and not brushing your teeth with chewing gum, sir.

40:18Yeah. And no matter how much deodorant you use, we know if you're not showering. Yes. Yeah. Should we do a few quick fires? I love a game. A few red and green and red quick fire flags. Are you ready? I'm ready. They claim to be brutally honest.

40:36Don't be mean, but I appreciate you're not lying, but don't be mean about it. Brutally honest. Because the word brutal is getting red. Yeah, I think they use it as an excuse to say mean things and to say you need to get back to the gym or something. Red. Big red. They are not afraid to double, triple, quadruple text. I like that. Green. What about them not having any social media? Yeah, it can be green. They love their alone time? Yeah. I mean, I like being alone. Green. What about them calling you bro or dude? No. no sorry I hate you mate no absolutely not they're friends with their ex sorry no no no no thank you absolutely not it's a big red no can do obsessed with the gym bit of gym selfie you know a shirtless selfie a little progress pic a little progress pic maybe in the DM maybe an unsolicited photo in the DMs oh gosh whoa yes no thanks red what about them posting you on their Instagram like straight away Oh, I've not thought about that.

41:46I mean, let's just give it some time to find out. You know, action to see Abela Zolo. Whoa. Are we girlfriend, boyfriend? Like this is, yeah, I would say red. Slight love bomb. And they have an ex of 10 years. It's a long time, but everyone's got a past. Oh, there she goes. Yeah, mature. But, you know, what are you, you're meant to, you know, give someone a hard time just because we've got an ex. Unfortunately, we've got to be mature sometimes. as long as they're not still friends with the ex of 10 years she said it you know i think we've covered all the bases here you know we've been through all the big green and red flags you know obviously number one thieving we've got to say that these you don't want anyone to steal your laurel paris true match foundation surely yeah i think we've got bigger issues if he's stealing the setting spray we've got some bigger issues at hand yeah absolutely chintz and as we've discussed commitment is key.

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43:45yeah so I do kind of feel sorry for her me too and then because you are her sister she can unfortunately she can chat to you like shit and also because you're the younger one as well she feels like she can just lash out on you and it's like but you're my sister you'll get over it like I can say whatever I want to you when you're still being my sister. She's maybe finding it a bit strange because there's four years between you and growing up, like she would always be the one to do the things first because she's four years older. And then now you're both in your 20s. You're now doing things before she is, like getting engaged or whatever it is.

44:22And she's maybe struggling with that because she's thinking, hang on, I'm the older sister. Like I've always done everything first. And now you're doing something that typically you would think that I would be doing first. And I think she's just struggling with it, to be honest. I think she's having a bit of an identity crisis. And it sounds like she's always kind of been this way. Like she's never really figured out who she is. When really she just needs to realize that there is no rush. No, and everyone's figuring out who they are. We can reinvent ourselves every day. Like it's fine to be influenced by people around you, but she is sometimes like going down that negative route of she's a bit angry i think i think yeah it's coming out in an angry jealous way by being mean to you and speaking down to you about like your engagement and like oh i'd hate to be that i couldn't imagine that like she's just trying to convince herself that she's she's merely trying to convince herself that oh it's something i don't i don't really want i'm really bothered i don't really care about that when really she she probably doesn't that is okay to also want those things when you know they're not in sight but it doesn't mean to be mean and negative to the people who are doing that before you you know and it's it's not a rush it's not a competition but hopefully she sees that on reflection because obviously she's not deep down that way yeah at the moment i think she'll benefit to some therapy and talking to someone truly about how she feels about everything that's going on we've got a couple more paros here now she's dating a new guy um and has started wearing his clothes not in a cute pj way fully styled for work in his clothes and buying the same shoes as him and jewelry it feels like the cycle is repeating with him now question mark i don't know what to do do i call her out do i let her live her life i find it hard to connect with her because she never feels consistent or genuine him.

46:16I dread spending time with her lately, which makes me sad because she's my sister and I wish we had a better relationship. How do I handle this without blowing up the relationship, especially with my wedding next March? Okay. Pixelman, my sister, and me and my Brian. So here's the sisters. This is who we're talking about? Okay. This is our Sarah here. I mean, gorgeous sisters. Very similar. You definitely look like sisters. Thanksgiving sisters, yeah. And here's the engaged Brian and Sarah, I'm assuming at the engagement dinner, as she's wearing all white. Very gorgeous. Gorgeous, lovely couple.

46:54I think in this instance, you can call an intervention and talk to her about it. If this was my sister, I'd go, right, we need to fucking sit down. Yeah, but you've got a different dynamic. I know, but she's still your sister. I think she needs some tough love and she needs to hear the honest truth. I don't think it's going to be well received. Me neither. she's gonna like fight back she's gonna fight you and she's not gonna enjoy it she's not gonna be like oh yes you are so right my dear sister of course i have so wise of course i'm gonna listen she's not going to but i think she needs to hear it because people have just been letting her coast through you're she's chatting to you like shit she's being mean she's she's also you know very lost and think she needs her family in this time to try and help her because only your family is gonna help you in this time of need so i would call her out but like look what's going on i don't really know what other choice you've got but you may be just speaking to deaf ears yeah but i think because she's not in a place to hear it she's not going to want to hear it yeah but i think she needs to hear it but and she will appreciate it coming from her sister like if lydia said to me we need to fucking talk about you and what the fuck you've been going on i go what the fuck you want about get the fuck out of here yeah but it would resonate but it would but but then eventually you would be like oh my god actually you know yeah maybe i think you need to hear it from your sister i do and what about like i guess your sisters you said she's never really had many friends i was gonna say could you chat to one of her mates but she's not really had any she's kind of churning through them isn't she she's kind of getting really close to these best friends forming into them and then they're kind of realizing and then they're pushing her out so maybe she does need she just needs a friend in you right now Sarah I will give her some honest truths say you're you know yeah I would give her some home truths and that's all you can do I think she needs to pour into her own cup yeah and I think she'll find her feet one day but I think it's probably strange for you being the younger sister and like you would think that you were the one still figuring out and she'd got things together a bit more but it's like the roles have reversed well yeah i think she just needs some time she needs she needs to probably not be with this boyfriend right now i think she needs to probably go traveling for like three months i know i think it's a case of like she just can't be happy for you at the moment because i don't think she's maybe that happy in herself that's all it is so i think that's the root and she's a little bit of it.

49:28She's not going to stay this way forever. No, she will find her feet and she'll find her life and where she's meant to be and she'll have that feeling of like, oh, I'm in the right place. This is exactly what I'm supposed to be doing. But I just don't think she's found that yet. I mean, maybe this new boyfriend is going to be good for her. Why is she wearing all his clothes to work? But the fact that she's, yeah, or trying to be like him, does it sound like she's being herself? Do you think it's because she's never had like a consistent group of friends that anyone she gets into her life, she feels like she has to cling on to because she's always kind of had people come in and people go and she's never, she's never had that consistent.

50:05And I feel like her way of thinking that she's going to hold on to someone is, well, if I be just like them. Then they'll like me. Then they'll like me more. And then they won't leave. She just wants to be liked. When really people generally like someone because, oh, you're a bit different. Yeah, we're not the same. We're not completely the same. Like that's - Ying and yang. yeah that's generally sometimes why people get along better so she's then shape-shifting into these people they're gonna whoa like they're gonna notice that she needs to go on a journey of self-discovery i think she needs to go traveling for six months yeah so do i i think she should head off to australia she would she would definitely find her feet in australia she needs to just let she'd come out and be the best surfer on the gold coast yeah like she needs To go on her own and choose what she wants to do, how she wants to dress, just all these little things.

50:58Yeah. But hopefully she'll get there one day. I think also therapy, maybe suggest that in your intervention. Yeah. To be honest. See how it goes down. Yeah. But I wouldn't be scared. Yeah, because if my sister came up to me and said, you need to get some fucking therapy. It wouldn't be received well. Yeah, I would be prepared for it to be a bit turbulent. I don't think she's going to be the most receptive to your words. But she will appreciate it. But I will give it time. She will appreciate it one day, I believe.

51:33Okay, dilemma number three. Is my friendship over? Is it over? Is it dead? Let's see. I've been friends with this girl, Sarah, since second year uni. we're both now 27 and living in nottingham bristol london australia yeah she moved here after me so i welcomed her into the friendship group i've already built i think i'm going i'm gonna leave the podcast i'm not joking we'll have to do it remote i'm gonna have to go get you a pink chair and we can put you there yeah i'm gonna have like it's like wow i know but then the Australians want to leave Australia so we're missing something I would like to raise my children in Australia yeah but then they'll leave you and they'll move to London and then you'll be a sad mother I'll have to move back you know yeah true but but you've built but then you love Australia though your kids like mom I need to get out of Australia I need to see the world I know they want to leave you know they want to leave all the Australian kids want to leave but then they always come back yeah you know we'll think about it well we'll see yeah so she moved here after me so I welcomed her into the friendship group I'd already built our friendship hasn't always been smooth sailing but I always felt like even if we were weren't in constant touch the friendship was there so it was my birthday recently and I'd organized drinks at mine then out for dinner and a couple bars.

53:02Throughout the whole evening, she was making negative comments about things like the music. Oh, I'm a bit exhausted today with these drainers. And I was playing Harry Styles and kept saying, we should go visit these boys who live near me. Wait a second, Harry Styles was playing? Yeah, and she didn't like the music. Fair enough. Way to piss everyone off, Sarah. Right. And kept saying, we should go visit these boys who live near me. I'm in a long-term relationship, so I couldn't care less about boys. After the dinner, we walked towards the local bars and the whole time, she kept suggesting, let's go back to the birthday girl's house.

53:32I reiterated I wanted to have a nice night out with my friends and we kept going. The bars ended up being way too busy for our liking so we did end up going back to my house which I wasn't happy with. At this point I did feel quite upset over how she'd been speaking to me but my other friends had noticed this and were putting in extra effort to make sure I was happy. It was her birthday by the way. Yeah. Right. What do we... When we got back to mine we were chatting, having a couple more drinks when those three boys who live near me walked into my house that's so disrespectful i was so confused because i had not invited them sarah who had invited them then proceeded to gush over them gush sharing our drinks with them started telling everyone let's go clubbing i have not gone clubbing in years and it's commonly known that i never would the boys stayed for about an hour then sarah left with them to go clubbing and i went to bed good riddance a couple weeks passed by and i was still feeling quite upset about the events so I asked to meet with Sarah well done nice I then explained to her how I didn't feel like a priority to her and it felt like I wow this communication is incredible yeah really healthy really really good I then explained to her how I didn't feel like a priority to her and it felt like because I wasn't single and seeking out boys she didn't want to hang out with me right she then proceeded to tell me that because she hadn't received any snapchats from me recently she thought that meant our friendship was over which is genuinely so ridiculous at the ripe age of 27 so confused by that she's just grasping at straws she's like trying to turn it back on you she's feeling attacked so she is like well i'm gonna find something about you and it's just like that's ridiculous it's like a toxic boyfriend she was apologetic about the events of my birthday and seemed genuinely upset i stayed on longer than needed to check i stayed on longer than needed to check she was okay and have a catch up and try to just heal the situation right i genuinely thought by being honest about how i was feeling i was making an effort to heal our friendship but this happened three weeks ago and i haven't heard from her since i feel quite disappointed as i was hoping she'd make more of an effort to reignite our friendship after i told how i was feeling i've had multiple friends and my boyfriend tell me she's just not that good of a friend and i've done nothing wrong but i still feel upset that she's seemingly just given up my question is is there anything more i can do or has this friendship just fizzled out i'm sick of feeling unprioritized by her but i know i can't force her to make an effort if it is genuinely over how do i move on from this as i'll continue to see her in group settings and i don't want either of us to feel uncomfortable it sounds like she can't take accountability and she's just a bit embarrassed so she tried to be like oh well it was you you ruined our friendship at first and then she can't kind of be like oh yeah do you know what that was actually a bit shitty of me i'm really sorry because if she'd have just said that we'd be mates now like but the problem is you don't actually want to meet no one is the villain in their own story yeah like she she is not seeing herself in the way that you are seeing in her head she was like i was just having a fun time wanting to hang up those boys yeah that's all that happened in her head and even when you were sat there having your coffee and you were saying to her all these things she probably like just because you've said it doesn't mean that she's heard it like everyone's got their own version of events in their head and even though you're saying something if she's already got the narrative in her head and she already thought she knew what you were going to say but like she's not actually maybe hearing what you said so So if she has chosen not to contact you after a few weeks.

57:23Well, she's chosen not to understand how you felt on that night as well. I would let it, I would let the friendship die. I agree. I think you met at uni. You had a nice time at uni. You both were in Australia or you were always in Australia. You did a very generous thing by bringing her into your friendship group. And it sounds like she. Well, birthday night at Rule 101. Isn't appreciating. Severe. the friendships that you've literally given her. What is birthday night out rule 101? No boys. Well, unless the birthday girl wants it. It's Susan's birthday. We're doing whatever Susan wants. And we're going to be happy about it.

58:00And we're going to be happy about it. And we're going to get excited. No matter what of what personal feelings we have. Yeah. Oh, there's some boys you want to see? No. No. This is Susan's night. When it's your birthday, well, next Saturday we can do that. Where does Susan want to go? Susan doesn't like clubbing. Why are we going to offer it? Why are we going to suggest clubbing to her? Susan doesn't want to go back to her. So we're not going. That is birthday girl, night out, rule 101. But she was out for herself that night. And also we rally for the birthday girl. Yeah, she wasn't in that mood.

58:25Oh, I'm feeling a bit tired. Doesn't matter. Doesn't matter. As long as Susan stays out, we'll stay out. Let's have a Luke with a sport and let's get to work. And like other rule 101, do not leave the night out for boys. No. Don't go home with boys. Don't invite boys over. Unless the birthday girl has said that. Of course. And she wants to go be with boys. Unless it's someone she fancies and what, yeah, absolutely. Different story. But especially don't invite random boys over when I've got a boyfriend as well. Especially to my house. And this is my house. That is actually. That's bad, bad behavior.

58:53That's friendship ending stuff. I think that's bad form. Yeah. I just wouldn't keep chasing her. You've already mentioned these boys a few times. I said, no, I don't want to go see those boys. I've made it clear. I don't want to go see those boys. Well, I don't want them around in my flat. I think you try to really healthily communicate. Yeah, you did everything right. You raised the problem. You took her for a coffee. You raised the problem. You had the conversation. and if she's not now spoke to you for weeks i would take that as a sign like i'm not fighting for this because really you're a bit of a pain in the neck and my friends and my boyfriend don't even think you're a good friend yeah so i'm not gonna like fight for this love because all she needed to say when you had that coffee was oh sarah i'm you know what yeah i was being really shitty i was thinking about those boys and i was being selfish i was being selfish and i apologize guys let me get your coffees and i promise i'll do better yeah that's all she genuinely had to say and then you'd be like oh i really appreciate that actually i i really appreciate you recognizing that but she couldn't bring herself to say it but she couldn't and she cannot and she won't i don't believe and she's thinking well you she just wants in her head she wants to believe that you ruined the friendship first that makes herself feel better and that's all it is you're the villain unfortunately in her story yeah but she will come back around it's like it's like an ex-boyfriend like they'll always come back around they will message yeah she will and then in that moment you can decide how to proceed she might apologize she might not she might just try and sweep it under the rug and act like nothing happened yeah let's just go out like long time no see and you can see how you feel about it but i do think you don't need that whole boy situation that was fucked was so fucked up i would never fit no you know random boy see imagine we were all in my flat some three random boys walk in my flat i would be seeing no consent from me and you're just i'd be so upset about especially your yeah this is so fucking dangerous i don't know these fucking men i don't want random men in my flat i wouldn't have even let them in it's probably let them in yeah she probably she but the problem is sarah probably let them in herself and then she was like who's in my kitchen yeah like what's going on that's not i don't like that

1:01:10oh goodness oh goodness she told me she expects an invite to my wedding oh but also like if you are being invited to the wedding you don't have to say to someone and I expect an invite. Like that, that's mental. If you're asking me if you're invited, you're probably not. If you're saying, I expect to be invited, that means you know that you're not. You're thinking that you're not. It's like Janice. Some people are so bold and brave. I would never say such a thing. Are you joking? I'm only invited if I'm begged to go. You know what I mean? I would never even dare to whisper that. Me neither. Are you fucking mental?

1:01:57Right, she said, I'm going to start the dilemma with a bit of a backstory. Okay. I moved to England over 10 years ago to attend uni in London. During my first year, I met three girls from home, from my home country. We all instantly became besties. I have some of my best memories with these ladies. One by one, they decided to move back to our home country. I stayed in England and moved to the rural countryside instead. I don't regret my decision at all and now have a fiance, a baby and two cats. Wow. Congratulations. I tried my very best for so long to keep up our friendship I texted the group chat called even went to visit all of them they have never visited me in the last five years I have for a long time felt less and less effort from all three girls okay the summer of 2024 one of them got married in London and actually asked all of us to be bridesmaids we all said yes but not not long after I found out I was pregnant I told the bride it was up to her if she still wanted me to be a bridesmaid or not she was so chill about it and was still happy to have me and left it to me decide i will never understand the pregnant bridesmaids hey me neither like i want all my bridesmaids to be have blooming bellies like i think it's so wholesome cast aside a pregnant lady just because she's pregnant i don't get it me i don't get it either i witnessed it i understand if you were pregnant and it was like i don't want to be a bridesmaid but i'd be like fine you have to do that yeah I'll take it off your plate but why would you not want a pregnant bride?

1:03:28because there's nothing what's changed? I'm so confused it's just for the visuals some people have really strong opinions it's just for the essence of the image but I love the visuals I know but they think it's they must think that it's attention grabbing from them like oh everyone's gonna gush over the pregnant lady and not me the bride I think it must be that aww right? yeah I guess so or just like they don't want a better pregnant belly in the pic makes no sense makes no sense so she was chill about it and happy for me to still be a bridesmaid the other bridesmaids were less understanding and left me out of the decisions what on earth like I don't I've not lost my brain I don't get that literally all that's happened is I've grown I've got something in my womb inches on my belly like one example the bridesmaids dress they picked a slim mermaid dress that had no maternity options what and she said it was a shit dress anyway i fair enough fair enough yeah in the end i had to opt out of the wedding completely as i was admitted to the hospital oh my god for bed rest oh bless you i had the worst fomo since i had to be on bed rest during the wedding and barely heard anything from either of them a week later i gave birth to a healthy baby boy i got some very half-assed congratulations texts in the group chat and since then i haven't heard a word you are joking i thought i had mourned our friendship since i rarely heard from them and don't live close to them anyway to be honest i don't even get a like on my insta story but they are all still watching i need to get i don't like people's instagram stories and i'm worried that i'm offending people you're not sophia it's it look it's a new feature it's not a feature that i use it's a new feature that i've only just got to grips with right because i've heard that a couple times like she doesn't even like my story and i'm like shit i don't like i don't like anyone's instagram story i think a light it just shows i'm here i see it i like it right that's all it says do it like if i was to like your instagram story i've never liked yours i'm sorry the message i would be sending to you is like i really quite particularly like this wow okay you know so i don't have to message you that i'm just reacting with heart eyes you know if i feel that i'm gonna put heart i would never do that you see that's this white up in the heart eyes is never that's not yeah i would do that if i if it really struck me i'd be like huh i think get into the habit i mean i'll try my mom she likes every single frame it's not like every single frame of the instagram story but it's a new feature and it is hard to grasp and i just think once i start i've then got to keep it up otherwise it might be like then it's like oh she really didn't like this one yeah then it's like oh she's not liked in a while you know and then i'm a hater but then if you give that but then if you only give them on special occasions then it's nice because it's like oh that's a meaningful like if people are liking every single story it's not meaningful it's just willy-wallying the likes away you know but our sarah here is really valuable to her it's valuable okay in february 20 yes i'm not an alien i just had a baby i was on bed rest like you can chat to me what's got what's happened also i didn't choose to be admitted on bed rest like i was gonna be there like are they upset because you weren't at the wedding but i couldn't help it i just think i had a baby in my belly i think they've almost unfortunately this happens sometimes in girl groups but more so like i feel like at school but i feel like they're bonding because they've iced you out really but what have i done i've not done anything because those three all went back to their home country she stayed in london built her life in london so they've obviously see each other more because they're in the same place and they've all i don't know sometimes like do you not remember at school when like someone would get kicked out and then it's like they feel closer because they've iced someone yeah it's like i think it's a bit like that but then it's like surely the energy should be like we miss you so much like we all can't wait to see you i know but it's like i appreciate you're in the countryside now with the pregnant like yeah anyway so she feels left out and hurt in february 2025 one of them texted in the old group chat and asked who i was how i was doing postpartum i got excited and replied and in return asked how all of them were doing radio silence i got left on read by all three of them i don't know if if it was postpartum hormones still but that one really hurt no later that year i found out found out from instagram the bride was pregnant i just feel so left out i don't know if i want them at my own wedding now so now we're all caught up i'm not planning my wedding at the moment as i was due to give birth to our second baby.

1:08:19Oh, wow. But as a few weeks ago, the weirdest thing happened. Out of the blue, one of the bridesmaids calls me. Are you joking? I stare at the phone, contemplating if I should answer or not. I decided to answer. Some half-awkward pleasantries are shared before she gets to the point. She tells me, the group have heard from someone I've sent out save the dates cards for my wedding and they didn't get any. But you haven't? But you haven't. I'm really confused at this point because I haven't sent anything out. as we are not planning to get married just yet. I tried to explain this to her and she was not having it.

1:08:53She then went on a rampage on how rude it would be to not invite them and how she expects to be invited, her actual words. Is that a joke? I'd go quiet as I'm not sure that I would invite them. What planet are you on? Are you fucking joking? But also, who's chatting about, who's lying about my save the date? Who's got your name in their mouth? Someone's lying. Someone's lying. Like, someone's straight up lying. Like, what are you on about? but then obviously these girls they're just they're just thinking you're lying because you're saying of course I haven't of course I haven't but they know that they're not going to be first on the list because they've been shit friends for the past years so shit why would they even want to go so they know exactly why do you even want to go you don't want to come all the way to London for a wedding I know you don't no I get quiet I'm not sure that I would want to invite them anyway definitely don't we end the call shortly after with me trying to ensure her no invite also you've not spoke to me in so long yeah and now you're shouting at me on the phone yeah so I who do you think you are?

1:09:48I ensured to her that no invites have been sent out hoping we could all catch up soon but as you probably can guess they have all gone back to ghosting slash stalking my insta stories no block them I gave birth to my baby girl mid-feb and didn't even get a hope you're well message what's up with these ladies? why can't I move on from this friendship? I'm done trying to make an effort with them anymore any advice on how to handle this would be great I've attached pictures of all of us and a cheeky pic of baby boy and baby girl Oh, let's see the babies. So this is the group. So we're a group of four.

1:10:21Right. And now I've got the visuals. Yeah, I've got the visuals too. Here's us in the hospital with the baby girl. Oh. I know. Which also I'm assuming they've seen this image on the Instagram story. Do you know what I mean? How could you not respond to that? And a picture with the baby boy. Oh. We're on a nice little hike. Fuck I'm sorry. This is really, really weird. Do they just feel like they can't relate to you anymore because you've had a baby? I think it's very clear. They've defo got a group chat without you. They defo chat about you behind your back. But what have I done? I've not done anything.

1:10:57Something happened where you, I wouldn't be surprised if there's a leader to this little threesome. There's always a leader. I think there's a leader who for whatever reason doesn't like you or is jealous of you or whatever. I wouldn't be surprised if she's even made up lies. Do you think it's the other bride? I would say that it's maybe that bride. I think someone's like maybe poisoned the minds of the two others in the group. And is just like making up shit about things that you've said that you never did. Because they're all in, they're all. I think it's the bride. Yeah. I think, you know. Something happened when they moved back to your home country.

1:11:38They all bonded. They all got very close. You didn't like the bride's made dress. Someone started bad mouthing you. like it all maybe went down with that wedding where you couldn't be a bridesmaid anymore and something changed somewhere where those three decided whether one was initiating it or not that they weren't going to be your friend anymore it's very clear that they don't like you they're not happy for you they don't care about you but then why do they care so badly to call because it's appearances appearances or just like wanting to make you like feel guilty about something because why would i invite you to the wedding when i don't know you lot like i've literally been present in that group chat and you lot are just airing me like i think this is one of those friendships that it's going to be so much better for you just to let it go and to stop clinging on i think they were friends they were great friends to have in that uni period but now you're actually like in adulthood and becoming a mom and you've got your family i think it's very clear these these friendships are bringing more negative energy than they are positive yeah and distance hasn't made the heart grow fonder it's actually made it worse yeah and i just made up their own ideas they've made up their own ideas and you're never going to change their mind and i wouldn't be surprised if they bad mouth you a lot they're clearly chatting about you behind your back oh my god because this whole save the date lies being strung up out of nowhere so what other lies have been strung up out of nowhere yeah you're right and i just think made that up then i would keep them away i would not want them anywhere near me no and i also wouldn't want them there on your wedding day i think they will try and fucking come also like up like when you do get around to that wedding planning and in invitations and all of that if you do get another call or another message like where's ours then it's the perfect time for you to be like to be honest i'm really surprised that you are expecting an invitation because you've never responded to me you've never checked in on me I've had two kids have you even met either of them like you've never visited me once like I've tried to reach out in the group chat heard nothing back like we don't have a friendship at the moment and I'm not really sure what happened or why but it's like we don't need to like we both know what's happening like we ain't mates they just carry a bit of resentment for the fact that you didn't go to that wedding but you couldn't go I think that's what it is which is ridiculous who needs friends like that if they're gonna like you're in hospital for god's sake you're on bed rest get alive like I was 8 months prego but yeah I think but that's giving like that's giving the energy that like they always wanted to ice you out and they were looking for a reason and they're holding on to that reason which is like that's ridiculous like I was on bed rest we don't even live in the same country like they've just they're determined not to like you I think or not to be friends with you I think you will feel way more at peace when you're not trying to chase those girls and their friendship I agree and if you just let it go and you can build other strong friendships elsewhere completely agree oh my god we've been through it today right gosh we've been tested we have but that was one of the most intense girl talks I think we've had in a while sometimes would you say I would agree yeah would wholeheartedly agree that was quite a lot should we pick it up with the star of the week sophia yeah i'm just trying to find it absolutely here we go oh we're not talking about boys this whole episode it's incredible it's great start of the week i would like to nominate my boyfriend sam for star of the week sam you all i'm part of a book club and last month we were reading wild dark shore i read that sam knew how much i've been looking forward to book club that month because i loved the book and was so excited to discuss it however there were transport issues on the night which meant that i ended up missing the meeting sam is normally not a reader but in complete secret he got no don't sarah because like this is really gonna get me he got the book read the whole thing in a week and then surprised me with our own private book club day night that is really nice Sarah that is the best thing I've ever heard is there a picture he cooked a nice dinner and then set up a book club with wine snacks and discussion prompts is there a picture he spent the whole evening discussing it and honestly it meant the world to me no that's really cute pics attached as well as the photo of him proudly wearing a girl's bathroom t-shirt oh we love him fellow Nottingham boy I'm very supportive of the pod we might recognise him do we recognise him no no oh damn it wonder what school he went to I know this is Sarah and Sam do you recognise Sam?

1:16:26zoom in I don't think I do oh I don't recognise that I don't recognise Sam unfortunately we didn't know everyone in that city unfortunately even though we think we do yeah oh thank you Sam for being Sarah's star of the week and all of our star of the week with book club alright guys thank you so much for listening to this week's Girl Talk if you would like to join us on Patreon we have bonus episodes every single Monday. And you can email your dilemmas and star of the week entries to hello at thegirlsbathroom.com. You can follow us on all social media platforms, TikTok, YouTube, and Instagram.

1:17:00Thank you. Love ya. Love ya. Bye.

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